Juniata sentinel and Republican. (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, December 02, 1896, Image 4

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    J
WITH trltt.
if t could know that Hftec all
These heavy bonds b' csasod to thrall
We. whom in life the Fate divide.
Should aweetly slumber side by side
That one green spray would drop Its dew
Softly alike above us two.
All would be well, for I should be
At butt, dear loving heart, with thee,-'
How sweet to know this dost of ours.
Mingling, would feel the selfsame now
The scent of lea Tee, the sonx-blrd's tone
At once across our rest be blown
One breadth of son. one sheet of rain
Make green the earth above os twain.
Ah, sweet and strange, for I should be
At last, dear tender heart, with thee.
Bat half the earth may intervene '
Thy place of rest and mine between.
And leagues of land and wastes of waves
May stretch and tosa between out
graves;
Thy bed with summer light be warm,
.While snowdrifts heap with wind and
storm
My pillow, whose one thorn will be.
Beloved, that 1 am not with the.
But if there be a blissful sphere
,Where homesick souls, divided her
And'wandering in useless quest.
Shall find their longed-for haven of rest
If in that higher, happier birth
.We meet the joy we missed on earth.
All will be well, for I shall be
At last, dear loving heart, with thee.
SIRS. VAN KLEV-
VER'SCLUB.
"Nancy," said Mrs. Van Klevver to
her particular friend. Miss De Korus,
"did you ever go to a stuffed club?"
"What's that, a dining club?"
"Nancy, you are improving."
"Really?"
"Yes. You are like a good traasla
tlon. You're so literal that you're al
most original."
"I don't understand you."
"I know you don't. That's one reason
I like to be with you. One gets so tired
of the people who think they always ex
evctly understand your inmost souL Mo
one does tbat."
"Really?"
"Oh, Nancy; why do you always say
'Really?' People will think you are
English. An English girl, Nancy.
Think of that and try to reform.''
"But what shall I say?"
"Say anything. Just any old thing.
Bay what Maud does."
"Maud?"
"Our Irish princess."
"Why, Katherlne!"
"Well, It would be a change at least."
"What does she say?"
"She comes In and asks me what we
' shall have for dinner, and when I as
sume a world weary air and tell her
humming birds' wings and rose leaves
she says:
"Oh, get out, now, Miss Van!"
"Katherlne, you wouldn't have me
say that?"
"l'es, I would. Anything but one
continual round of reallys. I suppose
you do It because you're so realistic."
"Do you thjnk so?"
"You are in one of your teasing
moods to-day," remarked Miss De Ko
rus, with some stiffness.
"An I, dear? There, I beg your par
don. It's the after effects of that
stuffed club."
"What was It, anyway?"
"Oh, It was great fun at least, for
those who were inside. Part of the
stuffing, so to speak."
"Will you explain yourself, Kather
lne?" "Well, I'll try to. I'm not quire sure
that I can make It clear to you, but I'll
try. Y'ou see, I am almost the only
woman of tuy acquaintance who has
not belonged to a club, and sometimes I
have felt that maybe I was missing
some fun, which would be dreadful.
Even you belong to a club."
"Not exactly. Mine Is a guild."
"Oh! Well, that's different, I sup
pose. At any rate, this was a club
that Is, It Iwame one yesterday, when
It was organized, had Its o (Beers elect
ed and a habitation and a name pro
vided for it. The name waa the Tues
day Club for Parliamentary Practice.
Isn't that great?"
"But why did you join a club for par
liamentary practice?"
"That's just what Jack asked me lost
night, and I told him that he woudn't
go to churrh on Sundays, so I had mads
np my mind to work out my salvation
on week days."
"But what about parliamentary prac
tice?"" "Jack again! Did you ever hear of
heaven's first lsw namely, order?"
"Of course."
"Well, when Mrs. Van Klubber told
me that the text book of the club would
be Roberts' 'Rules of Order wasn't It
natural for me to think It the first step
toward a halo?"
"I dotyt understand," said Miss De
Korus.
"Of course yon don't. I don't think
I really expected It. Never mind, I'll
be liberal, too. Did you ever bear of a
packed convention?" 4
"Yes, I think so."
"That's what they did to the club
yesterday, and that's why I call It a
stuffed club, which may or may not be
the right name for It, but which has a
familiar fiound. The Parlle Prack
one really h:is to call It something for
short was the pet project of Mrs. Van
Klubber. Sue and half a dozen of ber
friends have been working It up for
some time, and they bad everything
beautifully planned. They got up a
constitution and by-laws, made out a
list of officers they meant to have elect
ed, and then they Invited a whole lot
of women to come and help organize. I
went among the rest; though, to tell
you the truth. Nancy, I had about as
much Idea of joining as as you have of
what I am going to tell you. Still, I
don't know why Mrs. Van and those
women you know the set, Mrs. fed
erated Jones and Mrs. Organized Smith
and Mrs. Amalgamated Brown, and all
those women should have seemed as
surprised to see me as they did.
" 'Why, Mrs. Van Klevver! You here,"
end all that sort of thing, you know.
"They patronized me as If I were a
child. I thought Mrs. Amalgamated
Brown would take me under my arms,
lift me into a chair and offer me a pic
ture book to play with."
Not really:" exclaimed Miss De Ko
rus.
Mrs. Van Klevver made a gesture ol
di'Himir.
"You're a hopeless case, Nancy. Nevei
niin.l. If you don't say something be
sit4 i:-a!'y' when I finish my story
Ml declare our friendship adjourned
sine die. Now, listen! I didn't care
about being patronized, so I sat down
in one of the middle seats and let them
alone. I don't know who all the wom
en that came were. They seemed to
know Mrs. Van and her crowd, at least
by sight, and I found out from what I
overheard that most of them were club
uends. I suppose that was the reason
I didn't know any of them. The first
thing 1 knew Mrs. Federated Jones wa
a the jjlatlorm asklrg sogt eat tH
Bott!&ate it temporary chairman. She
hadn't the Words out of her mould
when. Mrs: Smith piped op Mrs.
Brown's name, and Mrs. Van seconded
It. and the women In front said 'aye,'
and Mrs. Brown got op In the chair be
fore yon could wink, .
" 'Humph.' said a woman back of me.
they've got things fixed all right Trust
Mrs. Amalgamated for that.'
"'Wonder who they'll put In for
president?' the woman with ber whis
pered. " That Mrs. Van, I'll bet anything.'
said the first one. 'You see, they won't
have Mrs. Brown, 'cause they've made
her temporary chairman, and the otnei
two want to be secretary and treasurer.
You can see that
"I began to be Interested. I listened
to the reading of the constitution and
all that sort of thing, and when they
asked those who would like to Join to
come up and sign their names I went
and put mine down with the rest Mrs.
Organizer Smith had charge o the
book, and when It came my turn to
sign she pretended to be Immensely
astonished.
"What she exclaimed, not Mrs.
Van Klevver! Well, what next?
Mrs. Van Klevver paused and smiled.
"I flatter myself, Nancy," she resum
ed, "that I astonished her even more
by what did come next When we bad
all taken our seats again they coasted
the names and announced that there
were thirty-nine signers to the constitu
tion, and that they would proceed to
the election of officers, twenty votes be
ing necessary to a choice. Mrs. Brown
said that If there was no objection the
election would be by a well, by your
saying yes or no. I don't know what
they call It At any rate, that was
where they struck the first rock. A
woman back of me objected. She want
ed the vote to be by ballot That's
where you write a name oh, you know
what It is. do you? Well, first they said
they would elect a president so some
one got up and nominated Mrs. Van
Klubber, and it was seconded.
" 'I told you so,' said the woman back
of me.
"Someone else got up and nominated
that frimpy Sirs. Caucus and that was
seconded, too. In the meantime the
bead women had been tearing paper
Into slips, which they sent around
through the audience, with bits of pen
cils, which you passed to your neigh
bor. I 'was waiting for a pencil to get
to me, when I heard the woman back
of me saying:
" 'How do you spell her name, any
way?" " 'I don't know,' said the woman be
side ber.
"Some one touched me on the shoul
der. " 'How do you spell that Mrs. Van'f
name? the woman whispered.
" 'Mrs. Van's?" I said.
" -Yes."
" 'K-l-e-v-v-e-r,' I whispered.
" 'Oh, I thought it was Klubberl
" No, Klevver.'
"Why, Katherlne, how dared youT
"I dare do anything that becomes a
Van, and I guess I've just as much
right to the name as she has! But wait.'
I heard a great whispering all along the
line behind me.
"That Isn't right! It's spelled
K-l-e-v."
"After a while someone came around
and collected the ballots and took them
up to the platform. I looked as Inno
cent as the babe they seemed to con
sider me, but I kept a sharp eye on Mrs.
Federated Jones and Mrs. Organized
Smith. They were the tellers. Oh, my
dear! If you could only have seen
theni!" and Mrs. Van Klevver threw
back her head and laughed. "Mrs.
Smith picked up a slip and looked at it,
She puckered up her forehead and
squinted a little closer. Then she un
hooked her glasses and took another
look at It Gradually a smile stole into
the corners of her mouth and she passed
the slip over to Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones
took a long look at It through ber spec
tacles and then they put their handker
chiefs to their moutbs and I could see
their shoulders shaking.
'Never mind!' I said to myself.
'They'll find it a larger Joke than they
think.'
"And, oh, Nancy! they did. I wish 1
could have taken a dozen or two pho
tographs of their faces as they counted
those ballots. It was funny at first
Then It was queer. Then it was very
strange. Then It was incredible. They
went over and over and over the thirty
nine slips of paper, and then they whis
pered together for a while. Finally,
Mrs. Smith went op to the chairman on
the platform and said something In her
ear.
I
-What! said Mrs. Amalgamated
Brown right out loud, and sue went
down to the table and took a look at the
ballots. Then she went over and whis
pered to Mrs. Van Klubber, wbo was
sitting at a little distance trying to look
unconscious, and succeeding about as
well aa a man who knows tbat be will
be called on for the next 'extemporane
ous' speech at a banquet, and Is afraid
he hasn't learned it thoroughly. It was
a very unparliamentary proceeding all
around, anyway. I read up about it
last night, and I think I could have
them all impeached if It were worth
while."
Really 7'
"Nancy," In a warning tone from Mra. ;
Van Klevver, "you remember what I .
said about adjourning our friendship."
"I'll try, dear, but I was so Interest
ed." "So waa L. People began whispering
and wondering what waa the matter.
The woman back of me snickered.
" Til bet that Mrs. Caucus Is elect
ed,' she said. 'Well, I don't like her,
but I wouldn't mind seeing the machine
defeated.'" -
"The machine?" Inquired Miss Se
Korus.
"Yes."
"What's that 7'
"Why, that's well. In this case It was
Mrs. Van. That'll do for the present
I haven't looked up its general applica
tion yet I know it was Mrs. Van be
cause she really was beaten."
"You don't say so!"
"Bravo, Nancy! You'll work up to
Maud's eloquence before I'm through.
Yea, she was."
"And that frumpy Mra. Caucus elect
ed?"
"Why, no. Mrs. Caucus wasn't really
In it She had only five votes. But let
me tell you. After a lot of whispering
and excitement Mrs. Brown went back
to. the chair and banged the table with
a little wooden hammer and asked the
meeting to come to order. There was
a dead silence.
" The tellers have counted the votes
and will announce the result said Mrs.
Brown In a sort of stunned, bewildered
way. . . .
"Then Mrs. 8mlth got up. -
" The result of the vote for president
is aa follows (you know bow she always
pipes up): Mrs. Van Klevver, 20 votes;
Mrs. Van Klubber, 14, and Mra, Cau
cus, 5.
"Well, there waa a twaar murmur
hrouAh thnrona moC Mj J&rwa hit
the table till ah was red Ilk the Face. '
"This meeting Will please come to
order,' she said.. And then, when they
had quieted down she went on: 'Mrs.
Katherlne Van Klevver baa been duly
elected president of the club. Of
course. If Mm. Van Klevver wishes to
withdraw, not having been consulted,
as I believe. In advance why er a
how la that Mrs. Van Klevver? she
has located me and waa leaning over
the table In my direction. -
"There was nothing to be done but
face the . music, because, I tell you,
Nancy, I wasn't going to be railroaded
that's what Jack said out of office
by that crowd. So I got up and as I did
I turned around and gave a sort of a
confidential and appealing- wink to the
women back of me, the ones who bad
elected me without knowing it"
"What could you what did yon say?"
demanded Miss De Korus.
"Well, In the first place, I said
'Ahem!" AU public speakers do that.
Didn't yon ever notice that? Tea, I
said: 'Ahem! Mrs. Chairman' rd
caught on to that much! "while this
honor la, as yon know" emphasis on
the "know' entirely unexpected and
undeserved' I gave the women back of
me another look over my shoulder
where waa I? Oh, yes! 'undeserved, I
would not be guilty of such a lack of
appreciation as to decline It'
-"Somehow, the audience began to eee
tbat it was a joke, and tbey liked it.
You know those women who are al
ways at the head of things get to be so
overbearing that people get tired of It,
and the audience was simply tickled to
death to have the leaders beaten at
their own game. The women clapped
and said 'Bravo! and 'Hear! hear!
"And what did you dor asked Mies
De Korus rapturously.
"Oh, I bowed to the right and the left
as if I were a presidential candidate
United States president, I mean and
said "Ahem! again. Mrs. Brown bang
ed the table some more. She thought
I was going to get out of It some way."
"And how did you?"
"How did I? I didn't I'm In ft, and
I mean to stay In It as long as I want to.
I'll show them how to run a club at
they've never seen one run before."
"But you don't know anything about
parliamentary practice."
"What If I don't? They don't know
much themselves. And I'm their presi
dent, anyway! They can't get around
that. Why. Jack said last night tbat I
don't even have to recognize them If I
don't want to, and they won't dare say
a word."
"What does Jack think about It?"
"Oh, he says I'm great, simply great!
He laughed until Maud came In from
the kitchen to see whether he was
crazy. I tell you, Nancy, I'm going to
create an epoch. If you want to see it.
come to the meeting of the Parlie
Pracks next Tuesday. - Mrs. Van Klub
ber alone will be worth the price of ad
mission."
ru-allyr
Nancy! What did I tell you I'd do If
you said that again? Y'ou are adjourn
ed sine die, or at any rate until next
week." New York Sun.
MONARCH OF ALL HE SURVEYS
file Office Boy Who Has His Own Idem
nod Follows Them Oars
Everybody knows what tha Xfen
York office boy Is. He always come)
from tne East Side, and he alwayi
owns the office within a week aflei
tie has entered It lie has his own
ideas about dignity, and it is difficult
to change or even to modify them.
Ills manifestations of "cussed ness
are various. The writer was lu thi
law office of a friend the other day,
when an elderly gentleman entered
and addressed himself to the black
eyed office boy guarding the rail be
fore the Inner rosins.
"Is Mr. C- In?" asked the white
haired and venerable citizen.
"What's your name'" asked th
boy coolly.
"I asked you If Mr. were in,'
said he of the old school reprovingly.
"What's your name?" repeated tb
autocratic youth, looking the otbei
in the eye.
That isn't what I came to tell
you," answered the venerable caller.
"I came to see If Mr. C were Id.
Tbat Is what I asked you. . That If
what I want to know." -art-
WelL what's your name,' then?
asked the bo placidly, --ssunn
"Is he in?" demanded the old man,
sternly.
"What's your name?" repeated the
: boy calmly.
The venerable citizen looked around
' and then gave a gesture of despair.
T'm lAr Itpnvn " Via cold in a cnh.
j.. '
"Well, you can't see him," said the
czar of that office in a voice in which
there was decision, but no trace ot
triumph.
"Why?" asked the conquered liew
STorker.
"Because he's engaged."
"Well, take my name In and see II
he won't see me."
"lie's engaged."
'I don't care if be is. Take my
name to him.
"I can't"
"Why not?
'He's engaged. "
"Well, young man, you can go intc
fete private office and leave my card,
can ',vou.? '
U, Sir.
Why not?" i
Can't"
Why not?" with great sterness
' Because he's engaged on case in
Boston and won't be In town till to
morrow," and the boy began to ques
tion another visitor In the coolest ol
cool manners. New York Tribune.
Varment Is Necessary.
Callow Lend me $50, dear boy.
Gurley What do you want it for?
Callow I want to pay me tailaw.
Gurley Oh, there's no hurry about
that! Callow But I want to rdab
anothaw suit
Patent Pasta. StamSi
About the last thing that one
would think ot patenting seems to be
a postage stamp, but a bright Vir
ginian has thought of that and pat
ented a device for one, too. The idea
is simple enough. It is merely this:
Discontinue the manufacture ot
stamps of an odd denomination, and
let the even denominations two
cent stamps, for instance be com
posed of two small one-cent stamps,
perforated down the middle, with
the figure 2 over the perforated line.
Then you buy only two-cent stamps
and when you want a one-cent sepa
rate a two. The two stamps as a unit
are not so large as one ot the Colum
bian stamps now in use. With these
stamps it Is an easy matter to make
the proper change. It will also piove
much more economical to the Govern
ment, for It will reduce the contracts
one-half. There are many other ad
vantages which will present them
selves to the public,
It la cheaper to go with the girls
than with the hoys, and a bean nice
tfOR LITTLE FOLKS.
A COLUMN OF PARTICULAR !N
TEREST TO THEM.
tossethlasr Hut Will In teams the Jar
Testis Kmtan at Kvery Ts asM
Quint Actions mm Brisk ataxia
f Masur Cats mm Caaaiast Ckildresv
A ft wee t Mesoselr,
If-all the world waa candy.
And all the stars were ens '
Oh, wouldn't it be dandy
Our daily choice to take?
Tier Forrt the Cat. -Two
baby mice, the world te see
Went forth one day abrhn with glee
Said Number One to Number-Two:
"We're clever youngsters, me aad yea,
A nd Just to prove that this Is true
We'll scorn all traps as old mice do."
With puffing chests aad flaunting tail.
Said Number Two: "We cannot fail
If we but follow our good sense.
To captor cheese and then go hence "
But just then the family cat came
long and grabbed np both of the eon.
retted little mice, who saw ealy the
trap. The moral la bnt you're clever
enough to see the moral tor yvoraeif.
Te Mouse mm the Babnlt.
A mouse endeavored to convince a
rabbit of the advantage of wearing a
long tail.
"You." said he, "are not admitted to
the best society, like myself, and I do
not doubt this to the sole reason. Cer
tainly a long tail doea give one aa air."
While the two friend were arguing
i kite swooped down upon them, and
3a ch betook himself to his hiding place.
The rabbit was fairly hidden, bnt the
mouse waa easily discovered and
irawn from hla place of refuge. Into
which he had not time to draw hla
boasted badge of society. Aa the krte
bore off his prey, the rabbit remarked
inlet ly: "My friend, ths mouse, would
have been better off had be not been
inite so distinguished."
After the Poach Is Gone, '
What do you auppose becomes of all
the peachstonea that are discarded by
the hundreds of thousands In the great
peach-canning factories, to say nothing
f the many that are left from the
peaches we are all eating every day
while the delicious fruit lasts? Bave
you ever thought anything about them,
except that they were not good to eat?
They are not; that Is so: but they have
a use, however several. Indeed. Buah
uls and Dushela of them are sold to
fruit growers, who plant them to grow
young peach trees, that are In turn set
am for peach orchards. From the oil
of the kernel that Is found in the In
tide of the stone a powerful drug, prua
rlc acid, is distilled. It Is a poison If
taken In a very small quantity, but It
Is a valuable and useful drug for vari-
us laboratory purposes. A third use
f the peachpits Is to dry them and use
tor ruei. tor which purpose they are
excellent.
It Grew la the Garden.
Last week one of your friends
brought in an odd little' bust the bead
f a laughing boy. It was beautifully
tarred and colored a rich brown.
'I don't believe there's a boy or girl
in Chicago," be said, "who can tell
it-hat this bust Is made of. And, what
b more, there aren't many grown peo
ple who could guess."
It wasn't wood the bust was too
leavy nor Ivory, nor bronze, nor put
ty, nor clay, nor plaster of parts, nor
narble. What was It, then?
Why, nothing but potato, although
me would hardly believe that so beauti
ful an object could be' made from a
lomely, every-day Irish potato.
Some of our boys and girls who are
lever with their Jack-knives wonld
Ike to know, perhaps, hovtto prepare
potatoes for carving. No doubt some
yt you could do some very pretty work
frith them.
Choose a potato which Is perfectly
teund and not at all bruised or wither
ed. ' Do not peel It but-wash It In a
weak solution of sulphuric add until
julte clean. A druggist will prepare
Jie mixture for you. Boll the potato fu
be solution until dense and solid. Take
it out wash it in tepid water, removing
ill traces of the acid. Then dry It In a
warm place. When free from all
notsture It will be found to resemble
ivory in appearance, and can be carved
is desired, or it will take any dye.
Why not try potato ivory?
Who Discovered' America
"O, Elsie, do you know Mr. Marshall
Soesn't know anything, hardly t He's
last as Ignorant V aald Paul to bis
joueln.
"Why, Paul DurantI and he's a min
uter." said Elsie, with a shocked face.
"Papa says he writes fine sermons."
"Yes, but maybe he reads them out of
book," said Paul. "Anyway, I guess
he never went to school, for Just now
when I came out he was lying in the
hammock and he asked me, 'Who dis
covered America? and I said, "Chris
topher Columbus did, of course,' and
be aald, 'Did be 7 "
"O my!" said Elsie, "I guess the Stone
Ohurch people wouldn't have him If
they knew it Do you think we ought
to tell Deacon Baxter?'
"Perhaps we'd better wait a while,"
mid Paul, " 'cause he's only Just got his
things moved, and mamma says he's
the nicest man to board she ever knew.
Let's go and sit down near blm, and
maybe he'll ask us something about It
and we'll tell him all we know, 'cause I
feel so sorry for him."
The cousins seated themselves . near
the minister, with the kindest inten
tions, and he greeted them with a pleas
ant smile.
"Do you believe Columbus discov
ered America, Elsie?" be asked. "Paul
says be did."
"Why. yes, sir. I s' posed everybody
fcuew tbat" said Elsie. "Queen Isa
sella sold all her Jewels to build him
three ships, and when hegot here he
was so happy be kissed tbe ground."
"Did he find any on here before
aim?" asked the minister.
"O, yes," said Paul, "Indians lots ot
em."
"Well, then it looks as if America
was discovered before Columbus ar
rived," said the minister. "Then there
were those other strange people who
:ived, perhaps, hundreds of yeans be
fore and left high mounds and fortlfl-L-atlons,
beautiful vases, ornaments and
weapons. They died and left no his--ory.
I bave thought sometimes) tbat
:hey may have discovered America.
I've puzzled over It a good deal, so I'm
ilad to know."
The minister, with a merry twinkle
:n his eyes, took np bis book, while Paul
tnd Elsie went silently away. When
they were out of hearing, Paul said:
"I guess we won't have to tell Dea--on
Baxter about It Ho knows
enough." .
"It's we that don't know everything,"
-aid Elsie. Youth's Companion.
1 he common silver dollar is almost
xactly one and ooe-balf inches in
Jiametor.
T"fcL -"H"e
Did koftfllow 'H.'i iUnchtei-.
A few days ago I was waiting in the
oraad central station when I waa un-
consdoualy made a witness of Quite a
romantic meeting. Aa the passengers
from the train came filing along tbe
piatrona I spied among then General
Sickles, who waa returning borne from
a speechmaking tour. As he n eared
the waiting room a young girl of Span
ish type, of beautiful face and figure,
brownish-black hair and deep black
yea, fringed with long, curly eyelash
es, stepped forward and exclaimed In
a sweet well-modulated voice: "Is this
not General Sickles r He bowed and
answered, "It la" Thereupon the
young woman, looking him straight In
the eyes, exclaimed with a merry laugh.
which revealed two rows of perfect
teeth: "Don't you know mar The
general, again bowing and this time
also smiling, said: "Pardon, bnt I must
confess and also regret that yon bave
the advantage." The young girl, not
a bit "teased," looked at the general
affectionately and replied: "Look at
me. Dont yon know your daughter
Edar It was Miss Bda Sickles, wbo.
with her brother Stanton, had but a
few daya previous arrived from Spain.
They had come to visit their father and
arrived while he waa away. Ascer
taining the cay and the hour when he
was expected, they had gone to the
station to meet and surprise him. As
Miss Sickles is now about 19 years of
age, and as her father had not seen her
since she was 6 years old, it is not
strange that at first meeting he did uot
recognize her. 8he Is his daughter by
bis second wife, who resides perma
nently In Spain,' aa she doea net care
for this country. General Sickles Is
the happiest man In town, and almost
daily can be seen with his daughter
making the round of the big stores.
Town Topics.
OHE WOXAifS CASK.
A Commas
arhnkle
Cur.
JVem (he Herald, Bottom, Ham.
Whoa a great, popular remedy rises to
soon remarkable suooeas as to be a worthy
theme of comment in a whole section it may
fairly be treated as a matter of news rather
tbaa mere baslaeas, because it Is la a sense s
pablio benefactor. In view of this fact a lady
reporter was deputed to Investigate person
ally the remarkable tonio and curative effects
which Dr. Williams Pink Pills had shown.
particularly in cases of nervous weakness and
general debility, numerous Instances of Its
efficacy In this class having been noted, espe
cially in the vicinity of Boston.
A typical ease was readily found la the
experience of Mrs. Mary A, Conway, uving
on Erie street, Doroester. Mass., who had
been, according to her own testimony, suffer
ma; ior a long unj
woakne-s, acconr
tag fora long time with physical and nervous
woakne-s. accomDanied bv oalDhation of the
heart and irregularity ot fuoctiora.
It Is true." she said, "that I have met
wlih a remarkable restoration through the
use of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. For soma
time I was completely run down, and ths
care of a family was a great strain upon me.
My lips were white and my heart palpitated
so severely that I eould not go up and down
siairs without great distress. My digestion,
too. was weak, and I can truly say that I was
suffering; from a ireneral lack of vitality.
"1 took Pink Pills with misgivings, but
after t.-ikina- only a small Quantity I was
agreeably surprised to And that they were
all and more than they had been described
to be.
"From the very first time of taking the
pins l Defran to notice tneir beneficial effect,
and I found myseif gradually aad rapidly
overcoming the varied physical weaknesses
that seemed to have fastened upon me; my
white lius were restored to their normal
tinar, I regained eo!or in my face, and as for
in. Dean irouoie i may say tnat it has com
pletely vanished, and I can now go up and
down stairs without any palpitation what
ever. Heretofore I bad black specks before
my eyes sua a lenaeucy to dizziness, oat
now my head Is clear and my vision is un
impaired. "I shall continue to use the Fink Fills,"
said Mrs. Couway, "and to recommend them
to my friends. I have found them to do
great benefit, aad I find that their use not
only relieved me of the particular trouble
which I bad, but noted as a general tonio for
my wnole system, it saasas to me that the
more tbey are known 1h more they wilt
come into general use, las people have been
so often deceived a to remedies that claim
to rura everything that they are glad to find
one that does exactly what is claimed for It."
Inquiries of physicians and apothecarlea
In Ibis section also indicate that such eases
at that of Mrs. Conway are proving to be
the prototypes of many others.
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People
are now given to the public as an unfailing
blood builder and nerve restorer, earing all
forms of weak nexa arising from a watery
roudltloB of the blood or shattered nerves.
The pills are sold by ail dealers, or will be
ent pjst paid on receipt of price, 60 cents a
bez, or six boxes for S2.S0 (they are never
fold ia balk or by tbe 100) by addressing Dr.
Williams' Med. Co., Schenectady, N. X.
Filters.
Prof. Tyndail's Idea, expressed many
years ago, that nitration through a plug
of cotton wool waa a most efficient
method of freeing air from microblo
germs, led to attempt being made to
sterilise water In the earns way. . Little
success ha hitherto been attained, but
quite recently M. Henri Potevln claims
that be has evolved a method of so con
structing such filters tbat he can com
plcely sterilize water In large quanti
ties. The fibers of the cotton are finely
powdered and sifted, and then auapend
ed In water and allowed to settle. This
they de In compact mass, forming a
paste, which, allowed to dry slowly,
give filter plates quite Impervious to
germs, etc The best results are gained
by placing the plate between two
plates of sandstone or perforated metal,
and If they are arranged In a battery,
like the filter presses so commonly used
In Europe for sewage, sludge, etc., very
large quantities of wster can be rapidly
sterilized. Periodical cleanings are nec
essary, aa no matter what care Is taken,
the rule which holds good in all othet
filters serving the same end, that thi
microbes are able to get through th
filtering material eventually by a pro
cess of growth, obtains. There la, how
ever, no great difficulty In this, as tin
cells of the material are easily purifier
by a fresh pulping In boiling water.
Woman's Season.
Surprised Dame What? And yon
have refused Mr. De Goode? I thoughl
you liked him.
Lovely Daughter I did, but to tell
you the truth, none of tbe other girls
seemed to care a snap for him. New
York Recorder.
,
A Bare Way.
An agricultural exchange asks: "How
can we prevent cider from working?"
Yoa might get it a government post
tlon. Texas Sifter.
Apology for tbe Bora.
Millie It looks as though the bicycle
would drive the horse out of existence.
Leavlrt Not a bit of It. The more
bicycle there are the more they will
aeed horses. '
Millie What for?
Lea vltt Ambulances. New York
Herald.
He Cnansed
"Greyuialr's wife brought hrm horns
a suit of clothes, but I understand he
mustered np the courage to tell her tbat
be had made up his mind to change it."
Did he change H?" -
"Oh, yes; he c hanged hi ntind."-
OlnclnTMCl Ecuirar,
rV?i
1 9 1
!! Houtt Gleaning :
Is each a task, but its soon ever If yea I
Sunlight
. Soap
whlea tskm off the dirt (mot the paint),
sa4aambvucUywUBoutaaraseras-
et!gisgsy j- II
aw .nju '
A Tie US l'asm. -
Greene What la the sense In put
ting up all those grotesque statues In
Central Park? White We owe
something to posterity. Greene
What have they to do with posterity?
White Well, won't they want some
thing to swear at? Judge,
a aught Mat.
Mrs. McFudd Phwat's become of
CReilley's goat? Mra O'Mud I
dunno; but 1 bought a should her o'
mutton at the butchers yestberday,
n' it was the toughest bit o' mate I
Iver tasted In all me born days.
Brooklyn Eagle,
A Better fteasasb
HobtH Do you believe Gallup
ourned his honid to get the insurance
money? Dobbs JNo; i visited mm
at the jail and he confessed to mo he
aid It to git rid of tbe box of cigars
his wife bought him for his birthday.
Life.
afneh Worse.
By Jove," said Lighter, as ho
stepped off the scales, "I've lost five
pounds!" "You oughtn't to kick
about that," remarked firishtside;
suppose you bad been an English
man." Life. . .
Stats Of Onto, Crrv ov Touno, ?
Lucas Cocstt, i
Fsask J. I bxhkv makes oath that lie Is (Tie
avuiur uariner ex ine nrm ot F. i. nsasT A
CO.,dnins business In tbeCit) of Toledo, County
and 8tate aformaid.and that aald Arm will pay
thesuin of oas bdndhso dollabs for eacn
and every case or cat as an that can sot be
cured by the use Hall's Catarbh Cubs.
... FajAasi J. I'nzHBT.
6 worn to before me and subscribed In my
I - ' 1 presence, this Sta day of December.
1 SEAL p A. D. 18ML A. W. &I.BASOH,
r ' Notary Pwlie.
Hall's Catarrh Care is taken lnteruailr. and
acts directly on tbe blood and muooas surfaces
ef the system. Bend for testimonials, free.
foidbyrS"T:,TCo--T80'0-
Uau'a FamUV Pills are the best
The crows of Ceylon are protected by
the people, because tbey purify the
atmosphere by acting as scavengers,
-5i-rmmrTT-e-3
Core Guaranteed by OR. J. B. MATKK, 10 IT
rrb M., PH1LA..PA. Kan at once: no opera
lion or delay Irom bualneM. Consultation tree.
Indorsements ol pbyBleiam. ladles and promi
nent citizens, tud lor clrculat. OtBoe noun t
A M. to sr. M.
Five gallons of buttermilk against a
haircut is a bet registered at Portland
betweeu a milkman and a barber.
Oasoabsrs stlmnlata liver, kidneys and Tm
la, Mevee stokee, weaken or nrlpa. ISa,
Glycerine is derived from the lye
left alter making soap, which for ages
was considered of no use.
P so's Cu e for Consamptloa has do equal as
Con b medicine F. M. Abbott, 383 fteneca St.,
Bufl'alo, N. X., May 9 lfWI.
Dropping or striking a steel magoet.
or uausiug it to vibrate by any
other means, diminishes its magnet-
nut.
FITS slopped tree end permanently rnred. Ne
At after Bret day's use of Da. Ki. ink's Orxat
KilRVB Kestorkk. Free t! (rial bottle and treat-
ocuu iu vw. a.iine, vai Arch fcL, fuUSh, fa.
He Knew Maurice.
The other day Maurice Thompson,
the writer, visited Calhoun, Ga hi
old boyhood home.
"Who's that yanderr asked an old
countryman. Indicating Thompson, who
was standing before a grocery store,
whittling a pine box.
The tall fellowT
"Yea.
That's Thompson Maurice Thomp
son." "What! The feller what use ter piny
eroun' here?,
"The very same.'
"Ton don't tell me?"
"Fact. But he's the great man now
one of the most successful ef literary
men."
"Onpoesible."
"Fact, I tell you. He's a great man
now."
"Well," said the old man, doubtfully,
"hit may be so, but bit don't look rea
sonable." "Not reasonable?"
"No! Why" and he drew closer and
lowered his voice a little "he used
ter go fishla' with me." New York
Tribune.
Africans at a Camp Fire.
The African strikes a happy medium
with regard to the benefits derived
from a fire. He lies so close as to get
the utmost beat and Just escape the
roastlng-polnt; his thick hide will stand
a lot of toasting a degree of beat
which would blister the skin of a white
man. On the coldest night, provided
he has plenty of dry wood, he can keep
himself comfortable outdoor with the
thermometer down to the freezing-point.-
He builds a big fire, which he
keeps going all night, the attention ap
parently costing no sacrifice of his
rest; during the night he shifts bis po
sition to adapt himself to the fire.
Bleeping In flannels, with ad overcoat
and three blankets, I have failed to
keep warm; have had a chilled spot In
the small of my back, as If a block of
Ice were there. My men by their fires
have ben more 'comfortable; but It baa
been very miserable for them march
ing In the early morning, with frost on
tbe grass, in bare feet and loln-clotn.-Century.
'
Wheel News.
"It ks queer bow you inexperienced
riders always take such long rides."
"No, it Isn't a bit queer; w are niraid
to stop and get off for fear we cant gef
on again." Detroit Free Press.
A man without enthusiasm Is a very
poor friend, but be takes good car ol
himself, -
This la the season when those pe
on who have never tried
ton fetr tt.
Wans) MHeua a ausllve. aa n Ci
sandy cataartlc, ears anaraatsad. laTsv, ge.
A low barometer almost invariably
betokens a coming ttoran.
1
Cormorant ttshlnt Boats.
Th birds sit on the sides of the boat,
n sticks projecting over the water.
They perch In pairs. Tbey are dirty
birds with ragged wings, plucked to
keep them from flying. In color they
are a metallic black, wltb mottled or
creamy and even white bosoms. They
have long, narrow, curved Mils or tne
flesh-tearing character. Their perches
are wrapped with straw, to give the
birds a good foothold. When fishing
la done their master tightens the noose
tbat each wears around Its neck, and,
patting a -stick before each one, lifts
It down to the water. When they ha vo
caught fish enough, or more likely,
have become so soaked tbat they must
be taken on board to dry, he rows
among them aad lifts them back on
their perches. Their skill Ilea In their
greed, and their greed has doomed
them to servile labor. They are caught
on the sea coast when young, and are
trained by their purchasers until they
are worth ten dollars, Mexican, apiece.
When they are In the water they not
only dlye for fish, but are said to swim
swiftly under the water after their
prey. When a fish la caught, the' bird
rises to the surface and gasps and
choke to get the fish down. The other
birds rush at him to wrest his prey
from him. The fisherman hurries to
the spot, beats the other .greedy birds
away, and lifting the successful cor
morant into the boat, takes his fish
frorr. him, loosens his throttling string
and pokes some food Into his ravenous
beak as a reward of merit.. When the
birds are returned to their perches he
prepares for them a fairly good din
ner of rice and small fish, scolding or
bearing those that are quarrelsome.
Tbe Ball Before Waterloo.
Wellington's conduct Is a riddle.
About the middle of the afternoon he
was Informed, through the Prince of
Orange, as to his enemy'a movements.
With perfect calm, he commanded
that hla troop should be ready In their
cantonments; at five he issued orders
for the divisions to march with a view-
to concentration at Nivelles, tbe east
ernmost point tbat be intended to oc
cupy; at ten. Just as be was setting out
for the Duchess of Richmond's ball, he
gave definite instructions for the con-,
ce&tratlon to begin. About .twenty
minutes after the Prince of Orange had
reached the ballroom Wellington sent
him quietly away, and then, summon
Ing the Duke of Richmond, who was
to have command of the reserve when
formed, he asked for a map. Tbe two
withdrew to an adjoining room. Wei
Ungton closed the door, and said, with
an oath, "Napoleon has humbugged
one." He then explained that he had
ordered "bis army to concentrate at
Quatre Bras, adding, "But we shall
not stop him there; and If so, I rnugt
fight him here," marking Waterloo
with his thumb-nail on the map as b
ipeke. Century. -
We wtoh girls were politicians; polV
iiane always squeeze a man's hand.
Don't ToTsacee Spit and Smoke Tear Life
Away.
If yoa want to quit tobacco asm easily and
forever, retrain lost mannood, be made well,
strong, nugnetfe, full of new life and viuor,
take No-To-Bac, the wonder-worker that
Snakes weak men strong. Many a-ain ten
pounds in ten days. Over 400.U0O oared. Buy
no-TO-rJac irom your own arunut, unaer
absolute guarantee to cure. Book and sample
free. Address eterUng Remedy Uo GbioaKO
er new xorc.
Five new asteroids were diecoveied
on photographs of tne heavens one
evening recently by Dr. Max Wolf, of
Heidelberg. ' This brings the number
of minor planets up to 423.
en try a 10c. box of Caseareta, ths fines!
over aad boa el regulator ever made.
Every Chinese implement has- its
deity; there is a god of knives, another
of spades, another of hatchets, another
of swords; every kind of animal has
its deity.
Mrs. Vt'lnwti'i fcooiniae Syrae for children
leetnlns. aultetu tbe guini, lettuces Indauiia-
uou, atiay man. cures wind colto, Ao a uotu.
Kansas editors excel in the selection
of eccentric names for their papers,
The Prarie Dog, the Astonisber, the
Paralyser and tbe Tbomaat Cat are
conspicuous among others.
Cartridges tested by Roentgen rays
to show that they have been carefully
loaded are offered for sale by a Lod-
dou gunsmith.
Gladness Comes
With a better understanding of the
transient nature of the many phys
ical ills which vanish before proper ef
fortsgentle efforts pleasant efforts
rightly directed. There is comfort in
the knowledge that so many forms of
sickness are not due to any actual dis
ease, but simply to a constipated condi
tion of the system, which the pleasant
family laxative. Syrup of Fijrs, prompt
ly removes. That is why it is the only
remedy with millions of families, and is
everywhere esteemed so highly by all
who value n-ood health. Its beneficial
effect are duo, to the fact, that it is the
one remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness, without debilitating the
organs on wnicn tt acts. 1 1 is therefore
all important, in order to get its bene
ficial effects, to note when you pur
chase, that you have the genuine article,
which is manufactured by the California
Fig Syrup Co. only, and 6old by all rep
utable druggists,
df in the enjoyment of good health,
and the system is regular, then laxa
tives or other remedies are not needed.
If afflicted with any actual disease, one
may be commended to the most skillful
physicians, but if in need of a laxative,
then one should have the best, and with
the well-informed everywhere, Syrup of
Figs stands highest and is most largely
used and gives most general satisfaction.
ANDY
TO )
ABSOLUTELY GDABiliTEED ? c""! wof tipstUm. rirt are the Meal laxs
fTr" Yt.A.. - . a"" enp or eripe.hat n easy natural remits. 8a.
P" ' fry. fraaUHG BKMF.pv CO.. Cairaro. M ontn-aU 'n. . or New TorkT SM.
'Fool's Haste is
Hurry the Work
APOL
Ills Said that a New South Walea
mail has patented a diving-bell with
which work can be done under water
at a depth of 6,000 feeU
HYSTERICS.
WOMEN SHOULD UNDERSTANDTHI3
NERVOUS DERANGEMENT.
A Symptom of Something Far If ore Sert
onm Mrs. Barrls. of Beaver Bprima. ste
- aataa Her Experience.
The spasm at top of wind-pipe, or In
bronchial tubes, the " ball rising in the
throat, " violent beating of the heart;
laughing and crying by turn ; mus
cular spasms; throw
ing the arms about.
etc, tell of a
derangement of
the female sys
tem.
Any female
complaint may
produce hys
terics, which
must be re
garded aa a
symptom
only. The ,
eauae, what
ever it
may be.
yields
quickly -l'-s-i!?V'7i?6Si
to Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. Jt acts at once upon the organ
affected, and the nerve centers; re
moves the cause, and dispels effectually
the symptoms.'
Mrs. Barris relates her experience
for the benefit of others.
"I had been sick with ulceration
of the womb, causing all kinds of dis
agreeable experiences, such aa irrita
bility, sleeplessness, faintnesa, and at
times hysterics. My physician said it
was the worst case he ever had. My
back ached, leucorrhoea very profuse,
and I had a' severe bearing-down pain.
The physicians thought I should never
recover, and as the last remedy, they
procured your Vegetable Compound.
I had not taken more than one-fourth
of a bottle, before I was more com
fortable. I continued its use, also the
Sanative Wash, and Liver Pills. After
using four bottles, I was able to be
out, and do almost all my work. I
think the Vegetable Compound ia the
only medicine that will cure female
complaints, and it will reach the worst
cases in a very short time. I know it
saved my life." Mbs. M. Babbis,
Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. All drug
gists.
August 8, 1S93. In an Interview
With Mr. Ohas. E. Johnson, man
ager gents' furnishing goods de
partment, "The Fair," Seventh and
Franklin avenues, St. Louis, he
said: . "Soveral years ago I was
troubled with an aggravated ease ot
Dyspepsia, and of oourse the first .
thing I did was consult a physician.
As I had always enjoyed the best of
health I was worried a good deal
overthta, my first illness that Is,
the first I could remember since the
ailments common to childhood and
my only desire was to got well as
speedily as I could. I took regu
larly all the medicines as my doctor
prescribed thorn. I must say tbat
la a short time I felt all right,
thought I was cured, and stopped
taking the medicine. But it wasnt
long before I was feeling aa badly
as ever, and again I had recourse te
the doctor. This kept up for some
time, until at last I made up my
mind I would quit doctoring aad try
some ot the remedies I saw adver
tised from day to day. Well, this
was worse than ever, and la most
cases I didn't oven get temporary
relief. So I didn't know what to do,
and made up my mind that I would
have to pass the remainder of my -days
in suffering. Well, to out , '
long story short, I had read so maea
of Bipans Tabules that I oonolaad
I would give them a good trial. It
eaid, 'one wonld give relief,' aad I
thought if one eould give relief
whole lot might cure me, I par
chased two boxes from a druggist
for one dollar, and when I had aa-
ished them I was feeling better than
I had for years. I continued to a
them, and to-day believe 1 am a well
man. Once in a great while I do"
have a slight touch of the old
malady, but a few ot the Tabules
fixes that all right. I generally keep
a box in my house."
Rlniw Tabu lea are aoM by dn
rli UustlarfaTL as War i
faafl
rr fbQpr-co (50 cenu a box) ti sent to Tm ntiUM
Chemical Company, So, 10 hpruoi bL, Xw Tart.
Mi-npie iv ceiiis.
FOR FIFTY YEARS I
MRS. WINSLOW'S
SOOTHING SYRUP
has been nM by millions of mothers for their
children while Teething for over Fifty Tear.
It soothes the child, softens the sums, allays
all pain, cures wind colic, and la the best
remedv for diarrhoea.
Twenty-five Cents Battle.
riDlllkanJ WHlfKT habits cured. Book sent,
UrlU'Tl Irc-e. Dr.B. M. W00U.EY. Atlanta. Qt
P
ENSIGNS, PATENTS, CLAIMS.
JOHN W MOHR IS, WASHINGTON D.a
Lata rrladpai xaa.iar u. a. fa-ntaa ra.
an. lalaai war, laajisdaeatint tiii-ta, ally-
HBHBnTe relief mines'
8 PASTILLES.
Breach I aden. .
Itavalvafa DM
DIOar(?.93Qd W&l,
uoubie sxi l.o-
6; Tod Lt-
r comnletiT.S0l
Killer. ,.:. for aam4osjja.
II. A: l. FOIO.MAH.Mi CO., KM D'wmy. N.T.
CATHARTIC
ALL
DBUGfilSK
Nae Speed." Don't
Unless You Use
"s J r
H -MKcs'writFt Aa "si fiis." k r
Jn t t-ougn byrup. Tastes QuoU. Use 1 I
Ml In time, Pold trr drum-its. 'I
IO