TETE-A-TETE ON THE STAIRS.
t never did care for the lancers,
. But lat nisat at the Vanderton'e ball
When he led me aside from the d" m,
' To ait out a set In the hall,
I did very wrong In permitting
Such proceedings, for aunty declares
A girl can sea goaslp by sitting
- Through daucea with men on the stairs.
Of course there is no harm In the practice,
- Which, in truth, has made many a
match;
It depends w ho's the man, and the tact la
; Poor Jim's not exactly s catch.
But nothing could really be nicer;
Dear aunty had gone from our ken,
WhUher supper is sure to entire her.
With a lot of those horrid old men.
Bo we sought out a spot on the landing
Where the lights in the hallway bnrnea
dim.
And a plm with wide branches was
standing,
In its shadow I lingered with Jim;
And the sound of the muaic came awelV
ing
From the door of the ball room below.
And Jim for the tenth time was telling
Me something too silly, yon know.
It's so foolish for him to admire bm
And yet he's so good and so wise
That his ideals of women Inspire me
With a wish to seem well In his eyea.
Bince ever the first day he met me
He nys he has loved me, although
It were hotter, of conrse. to forget me.
For I cannot accept him, you know.
We nil hare our crosses to carry.
And I. so dear aunty declares,
Must make a great match when I marry.
Hence her horror of Jim and the stairs.
-Vanity.
FLEECING A LAWYER,
Elkanor Bunker was a lawyer, newly
Hedged, and as yet without a client
His shingle, with
? ELKANOR BTJNKKR,
: Counselor and Attorney at Law. :
In letters as bright as gold-leaf could
make them, had gone up the day be
fore, and his library, rather a scant
pattern, had Just arrived, and Elkanor
bad spent the last Cfteon minutes in
putting that up, too; after which
Elknuor seated himself again In bis
old armchair, and musing, rested.
"Oh, for a good, fat client P sighed
Elkanor, after half an hour's solitary
reflection. Sighing doesn't generally
secure the object longed for, but In this
esse the usual order of things seemed
likely to be reversed. A heavy step
xv n s heard in the passage, a rnp at tho
door, and in stalked a gaunt, bony, six
footer, with an nxgoad In one hand and
on tmdrensed sheeikin In the other.
Elkanor knew his customer, an old ac
quaintance, "miserly as the day is Ion?
when days are the longest" He coolly
pushed out a chair to Mm, and then
busied himself with some books and
papers that lay before him, with an
appearance of Industry docldedly great
er than he manifested before his vis
itor's entrance.
"You seem to bo plaguy busy thla
morning, squi.." said Mr. Tarbox,
after a silent session of some fifteen
minutes.
"Kather busy, sir."
"Well, then. I guess I won't Interrupt
you, squire, seelu' ns you are busy."
"It is my business, sir, to bo Inter
rupted," remarked Elkanor.
"Yes. I know It Is; but you sec I
didn't exactly call on business. I only
wanted to get a little advice; Just to
find out what your opinion Is,"
"Well, sir. slate your case," laconic
ally remarked Elkanor.
"Why, you see, squire, we had a
fclud of cuttle show down at our eend
of the town, you know, last week
a-Tuesday. Well, you see, I got Into
n little bit of .1 scrape there. You know
lilll Walker, I s'poseV"
"I can't sny I do." said Elkanor.
"Ihm't know Hill Walker! Heavens
and airtli, squire! everybody knows
Walker. 1 ruther guess you know
him, squire. Jest think a minute."
"I'erhaps so; but go on with your
case. If you please, and let Bill Walker
go."
"Yes, but ranly, now I thought you
knew Hill. Why, I swan, squire, you
must know hint. Itill Walker's the
iiiiiu that wears that old
But we will not inflict on our readers
Air. Tarbox's luminous description of
Bill Walker's wearing apparel. Suffice
It that he did describe the said Wall
er's apparel In a discourse of about fif
teen minutes, after which he spent half
an hour in telling how he and Bill had
had a fight together, and then eked out
the rest of the morning by telling what
they had fought together for. He was
In the midst of this when Elkanor
beard the distant dinner bell ring.
Elkauor hadn't been In the profession
Ions enough to know that lawyers are
generally supposed not to need dinners.
So be cut short bis client's tale with:
"The amount of the whole matter,
Mr. Tarbox, so far as I can see from
your own story. Is that yon think Bill
Walker stole one of your sheep and
acknowledged that you have been and
taken one of his."
"That's It, squire; you've hit It 'dxaot
ly" "But you have no business to take one
of Bill Walker's sheep."
"Why, Bill Walker took one of mine."
'Terhaps so; but can you prove that
fact?"
Trove It! Thunder and lightning! I
ihouIJ hope so. I can prove that fast
enough."
"Who'll swear to It?"
"Why, anybody will swear to ft."
"And what might anybody's name
be?'' inquired Elkanor. "Did you see
BUI take the sheep or have anything to
do with It?"
"No, I didn't see him."
"Well, do you know anybody win
old?"
"I can't say I do 'dzactly; but thun
fl.-r nnd lightning, squire! Bill Walkei
Is Just the sort of a fellow to steal
fi'ocr. I'll swear to that"
The Blue' and the Gray.
Both men and women are apt to feel a little
blue, when the eray hairs begin to show. It's
a very natural feeling. In tho normal condition
of things gray hairs belonjj to advanced age.
Tliey have no business whitening the head of
man or woman, who has not begun to go
down tho slop of life. As a matter cf fact,
tho hair turns gray regardless of age, or of
life's seasons ; sometimes it is whitened by
sickness, but more often from lack of care.
When tho hair fades or turns gray there's no
need to resort to hair dyes. Tho normal color
cf tho hair is restored and retained by the use of
Ayer's Hair Vigor.
Ayer's Cnrcbook. "a story of cares told by the cared."
loo pages, free. J. C A yer Co., Lowell, Mass.
( -. j V y
-Tea, but that won't do. My opinio.
Mr. Tarbox, la that yon bad batter glva
Bill Walkar hla sheep and cat yours
back whenever you can. It la your
abort eat way oat of the scrape, air.
"Do you really think so. squire TT
I don't think anything about the
matter. I know so."
"Wai, that what's BIU aald Squire
Ketcbnm, down to WalkerriUe, aald.
Bat I didn't raaly believe him. How
eoniever. If you both aay so I s'pose It
moat be so. It's an all-fired bard case,
though. I awan it Is." (Here Mr. Tar
box pulled out hla watch.) "Hul lo!
'moat 2 o'clock 1 I mnst be goln', that's
a fact" And Mr. Tarbox gathered to
gether bis "fixings" and made for the
door.
"Look here. Mr. Tarbox." aald Elka
nor, "yon haven't paid me yet Casb
down' Is my motto."
"Haven't p-a-l-d yon! Paid yon for
what? I don't owe yon anything aa I
know on. Do If
"Certainly yon do."
I should like to know what If a tor,
then."
"Very wen, I can tell yon. It la for
professional advice given yon thla
morning."
"Hal ha! Well now. that Is a food
enel And how much may yonr profes
sional advice' be wothr
"If yon follow It and I'm Inclined to
think yon will, It will be worth to yon
about ten times what I shall charge yoc
for It My charge, air, la $1."
"Oh, git eout, squire! Ton don"'
mean to say yon want me to pay yon
dollar for an hour or so sociable talk
do yon?"
"Indeed I do, air."
"Well, look here, young man. Ton
needn't think you are going to diddle
me out of a dollar that way. I'm a
little too knowing for that opo ration.
So good morning to you; and as to that
dollar, don't yon wish yon may get it?
Good morning. One dollar I Hal baP
"Let those laugh that win, Mr. Tar
box," aald Elkanor; "you'll either pay
me that dollar now, or before sunset
I'll sue yon for five. Yon can take your
choice."
"Wh-e-ew, now! Yon are a screamer
for a young one. But I'll tell yon what
I'll do with you, squire. I'll give yon
that dollar if you'll give mo a receipt
for If
"I'll give you a dozen If yon like,
said Elkanor.
"Very well; here'a your dollar, then.
Now hand over the receipt. If yow
please."
Elkanor sat down and wrote:
"Received of Hiram Tartwx. one dol
lar In payment for professional advicr
to him this day given.
"ELKAXOR BUNKER,
. "Attorney at Law.
"Grizzle, Sept 9, JS42.'
"There you have It" sild he, handing
It over to Mr. Tarbox.
"Yes, and lt'a where you'U have It
too, or I'm mighty inhwaken. You
swindled me, young man, out of a dol
lar, and here I've got proof of It In
black and white. That will be a dear
dollar to you, my good faiiow."
'Terhaps so," replied Elkauor; "but
If you are through, sir, you uoodu't
wait any longer. There's tUj door."
Mr. Tarbox went out He went out
too, ns If be fancied be saw thj dem
onstrations on the part of the young
lawyer of an Intention to put hha out.
Ho kept on, too, after be had got out,
uutil he came to the house of Judc
Hawson, who lived a few miles away.
Here he stopped and rapped. The
judge was not In. He had gone ovr
to "the farm." So over to the farm
after the judge, went Mr. Tarbox. It
was a long three miles, and by the time
he reached the spot he had about ma do
up his mind that it would have been as
well to have given up the dollar and
said nothing further about It. How
ever, he persevered, nnd at Inst found
the judge in the fields with a hoe in hiv
hand hoeing potatoes.
The judge was a innn of few words
and soon brought Mr. Tarbox to the
point.
"Why. the amount of it Is, Judge,"
said Mr. Tarbox; "you see this receipt
the little rascal has given me. Well, I
want you to take it and haul the fellow
tip for me."
"Until him up! Why, the receipt Is
good enough. What more do you want,
pray?"
"I don't want anything more from
him. But I should like to make him
awing for It though, one while."
"Make him swing! Swing for what?"
"Why, for swindling me out of my
money."
"You stupid old jackass!" said the
judge, "didn't you go to him and ask
bis opinion?"
"To be sure, I did, but "
"And didn't be give It to yon V
"Yes, certainly, but "
"Don't bother me with your buts.' If
you asked him for his advice, and be
gave It to you, I should say that was
enough."
"Tee, but he didn't 'give' it to me. He
made me pay $1 for it Now, that's
what I call swindling."
"You may call it what yon like, but
It ia no more swindling than for you
to charge $1 for a bushel of corn Is
swindling."
"Well, hang it all!" said Mr. Tarbox,
rather testily, "do you mean to say.
Judge, that this receipt la a good oneP
"To be sure I do."
"And that I can't get my dollar back
again?"
"Not by a long shot."
"I suppose, then, I can't make the
little rascal suffer for it?"
"I should say not most decidedly."
"Well, if that's the case," said Mr.
Tarbox, looking rather crestfallen, "It
Is high time I was going;" and off be
started. But bis progress was sudden
ly arrested:
"Just one moment if yon please,"
said the Judge. "I believe you haven't
paid me yet."
"P-a-l-d yon! Paid you for what, I'u
11 Re to know."
Tor professional aflvlee
"Why, yon don't mean to aay, Jndsje,
that you are going to make me pay foi
yonr telling me that I can't prosecute
that fellow, do yooT Tea don't mean
that sure-ly."
"Certainly, I do."
"Well, all I bare got to say is 111 see
yon to thunder first! How much do
you charge for that eh T"
"III teU yon what I charge for it
-aid the Judge, slowly lifting bis hoe.
"Either pay me my fee, or I'll give you
such a mauling aa you never bare bad
a yonr life. Take your choice, and b
quick about it, too."
Mr. Tarbox looked at the hoe, and
then at the Judge. There was no mis
taking either the determination of the
Judge's eye, nor the strength of the
judge's hoe handle.
"Well, if I must I s'pose I must" said
he, at length. "What is your charge T
"Two dollars."
"Two dollars! Thunder and llght
aing. Judge! yon are too bad! too bad.
that's a fact: I thought yon didn't
charge anything for law business now
adays." "That depends on circumstances. I
no this time."
"But, two dollars. Judge Isn't that
rather high?"
"Not a cent less," said the Judge;
"either that or the hoe handle. Take
your choice."
"Well, blast yon! take It thenr said
Mr. Tarbox, hauling out of an old dirty
pocketbook a dirty "fire."
"Very good," said the Judge, "Phoe
nix bank, fire dollars. All right; here's
yonr change. Yon may go now."
And Mr. Tarbox did go. He stopped,
though, after going a few steps, for he
heard the Jndge calling after him.
"Well what's wanting now, I'd like
to know?" snarled be.
"Oh, nothing rery particular," re
plied the Judge, "only I thought, per
haps, aa you bad let me hare the twe
dollars, that perhaps you might like
receipt"
Mr. Tarbox ground his teeth audibly,
and as he turned away something rery
much like "I s-w-e-a-rl" found Its waj
out Mr. Tarbox was a deacon in the
church, though. So it couldn't have
been that New York News.
Showing Cents Instead of Eagles.
Nearly all the money changers down
town have stopped displaying gold In
their show windows, and in place of it
have great piles of new copper pen
nies. Up to a year or so ago the changers
vied with one another In displaying
gold coin. Sometimes there would be
as much as $7,000 or $8,000 In a win
dow, and there was usually a crowd
around looking at it
About a year ago a thief In one -of
these crowds smashed a window and
made off with a double handful of
gold. Then the police asked the
money changers to take better means
to protect their windows.
Some of them put up wire screens.
Others put up Iron bars. Both inter
fered with the view of the gold.
Who originated the new funny Idea
a not known, but It has taken bold
generally. The pennies, when the;
come from the mint have about the
color of an American gold coin. Tbty
nre piled in the windows, Indian head
up.
There Is nothing on that side of a
cent to tell what It is, and no doubt a
great many foreign patrons of these
places, who are not familiar with our
coin, think them gold.
Some of the changers have empty
treasury iMigs In their windows besida
the pennies. The bags are marked $15.
0(X or $10.01 ta or some other large
amount New York Sun.
-nay Von Forgive Me!
A story Is told by the Independent
about ths late ltev. William M. Taylja.
of New York, which Illustrates bow
heartily he oleyed the Master's words
"Be reconciled to thy brother."
It Is well kuown that he was a thor
oughly conservative man in all his the
ological views. At one of the meetings
of the Manhattan Association a younger
ministerial brother bad read a paper in
which certain views of inspiration wera
expressed that did not at all meet hla
approval, and he Raid so In very em
phatic and not wholly courteous la
gnage.
Immediately after the session cam
to a close. Dr. Taylor was asked ta
pray, which he did. As soon as be had
finished his prayer he hurried as rap
idly as he could to catch the brother
whom be had criticised, and grasping
him by the hand, said:
"I beg your pardon for what I said;
I beg your pardon for speaking aa
harshly as I did."
The brother was startled, perhaps a
little confused, and began to say that
he had taken no offense.
"But say you forgive me! Say you
forgive me!" said Dr. Taylor. The as
surance was given, and Dr. Taylor's
conscience and heart were relieved.
A Disappointed Diplomat,
An Interesting story is being told In
Washington regarding M. Patenotre,
the French ambassador. After Con
gress passed the law empowering the
President to send ambassadors to such
countries as would raise the rank of
their representatives. Sir Julian
Pnuncefote was the first to Inform the
President of the intention of his coun
try to make him an ambassador. M.
Patenotre conceived the ambition to
be the dean of the ambassadors and
communicated it to bis home govern
ment and his commission arrived be
fore Sir Julian's. He went to the State
Department in the hope of Immediate
recognition as the first ambassador to
this country. He was told that Sir
Julian had anticipated him by inform
ing the department of the action of
his government He was angry, and
wrote to the President requesting his
intervention. He received Instead a
chilly letter from Mr. Gresbam.
Tracheotomy in Horses.
The horses which came In first seo
ond and fourth for the selling steeple
chase at the Manchester second Janu
ary meeting carried, each of them, a
sliver tube, called by the French a
"rosslgnol," in the windpipe. In other
words, they were rank "roarers," had
undergone the operation of tracheoto
my and had been provided with an
artificial apparatus for breathing pur
poses. We are not told how many more
of the horses engaged in the steeple
chase. If there were any more, were
also "roarers," and had, or had not
been treated In similar fashion. But
three out of four are sufficient to show
that the infirmity, which was rendered
almost illustrious and even commend
able, to judge from remarks printed In
some of the sporting Journals, by the
wonderful horse Ormonde, la rather on
the Increase than the decrease among
as. London Standard.
There Is too much singing, "Take m)
silver and my gold," and putting noUh
Ing but copper and nickel In tho hu!
TRUMPET CAUA,
Kara Boaada a Waralaaj Mate
o taa Uaraoeaaaad.
TEMPTATION
resisted, la a Uoa
lain.
.No man ever
broke bis back: by
trying to lift the
load God gate
him.
' Men who try to
serve God for
gain are willing
to serve the devil
for nothing.
The world was
plunged Into sin, because the first pair
looked at the forbidden fruit; not be
cause they climbed the tree.'
Using the rod will do no good nnles
the hand that holds it is moved by lore.
Tho more an enemy hates ns, the
hotter the fire kindness will kindle on
his head, .
There are too many people In the
church who would rather be comets
than suns.
Many a procession that la marching
straight toward the pit Is beaded by a
moderate drinker.
Skeptics may tear the Bible to pieces,
but they can make no reply to a con
sistent Christian life.
There Is hope for the man who doesn't
have to fall down more than once ta
learn tow to stand op.
The lessons we learn In the school of
experience cost the most but they are
remembered the longest
The devil never wastes any powder
on the" man who' only wants to be relig
ious to make him feel good.
A revival meeting Is sure to drag
when the leading members feel most
comfortable In the back seats.
Whoever keeps clow to Christ will
soon learn the meaning of being pene
rated for righteousness sake.
In bis wisdom God has ordained that
ilie same golden opportunity shall nev
ir knock at the same door twice.
The devil Is not throwing any darts
at the man who thinks he can be a
Christian without going to church.
She's an American Girt.
Here's a bit of a story that comes
from London and has the rare merit
of truth. There was a certain young
American girl In London who bad come
over with only the courage of mouth
and the point of a pen to keep the wolf
away. She hadn't the easiest time in
the world, let me tell you.
One day she presented herself at tho
since of an editor who had bought
"stuff" cf her. The great man was
busy, but as she Insisted on seeing him
she was allowed to enter. She had a
bundle of manuscript In her hand, and
she begged the editor to read It at once.
Oddly enough, he consented. It was
a story.
It was a story about a young woman
writer who purchased a typewriting
machine on the installment plan. All
went well till tho final payment of 1
was due. She hadn't the money and
couldn't get it Twice the people who
sold her the machine gave her addi
tional time. At ber wit's end. the poor
pirl begged him to wait Just two hours.
She gave him something to read, and
she wheedled him a little, nd he of
fered to wait
So she sat down at the machine and
rattled off a pathetic story of her own
struggles with fate and of her fruit
less efforts to raise money to pay for
the typewriter. When she finished she
put on her bonnet and went to a news
paper office, sold the story and brought
back the money In time to save the ma
chine. It was a prettily told story and a
pathetic one.
"By Jove," Laid the editor, as he fin
shed reading It "I always said you
could do fiction, but you never would.
Cotno around next week, and I'll let
rou know whether we'll publish It"
The girl hesitated.
"If yon please, sir," she said, "won't
rou decide now V"
"Why?" asked the editor. In surprise.
"Well." said the girl, "you see, the
man who came after the typewriter Is
waiting for the money." Chicago Bee
rd.
Big Price for a Penny Book.
Among the most valuable books in
:he world are those few still extant
which bear the name of John Gutten
burg, a printer and publisher, who
flourished soon after printing was dis
covered 1450. The value In which the
irorks are held is shown by the enor
mous prices they fetch on the rare oc
casions when any of them find their
ivay to the auction mart
At tike commencement of the present
rentury, the house of a certain peer,
who possessed the first book John Gut
lenburg ever printed, was broken Into,
:he thieves carrying off, among other
treasures, thla book, which for years
if tor was diligently sought for, with
out success.
One Saturday evening, some time
jlnce, a blacksmith stopped In front
tf a bookseller's barrow In High street,
"amden Town. "He knew nothing of
liooks, but descrying one looking older
than the others, he planked down his
penny, and, throwing It on a shelf
when he got home, forgot all about It
One of his lodgers, a porter In the
Orlttah Museum, noticing that It was
aated 1450, asked permission to show
It to the museum authorities. A day
br two later the blacksmith was asked
to calL The secretary, who saw blm,
then asked what he wanted for the
book. Not knowing what to reply, thr
Inan said;
"What will you give?"
"What do you say to 00?" was the
answer.
The astonishment which overspread
the blacksmith's face was taken by
the official for disgust so saying, "I
Mil see If we can give any more," he
lurried from the room, returning pres
ently with an offer of 00, which, need
ess to say, was accepted.
Sooner than have lost the book the
museum would bare paid 2,000, but
In that case the transaction must have
been sanctioned by the Purchasing
Committee, 90 being the limit of thf
librarian's powers.
The librarians of the great Parts Li
brary would have cheerfully paid
'2,500 for this book. Answers.
A Fine Kxample.
The heirs of an estate In Los Angeles
County. California, valued at $20,000,
went to law about It some time ago,
and the executor now announce that
he has Just 40 cents of the estate left
Occasionally w think that tho un
derdog receives more attention than
be deserves.
We always find an excuse for our own
blunder, and sometimes forget that
there are others.
Times are never very hard so long as
(iliere are any fools left with any awn-
People find just the help they so much
need, In Hood's Sanaparilla. It for
tushes the desired strength by puri
fying, vitalising and enriching the
blood, and thus builds rp the nerves,
tones the stomach and regulates the
whole system. Read this:
"I want to praise Hood's Sanaparilla.
My health run down, and I had the grip.
After that, my heart and nervous system
were badly affected, so that I eonld not do
my own work. Our physician gave mo
some help, but did not ears. I deeided
to try Hood's SarsspsriUs. Soon I eonld
do all my owa housework. I hare taken
(Smiirodl
Hood's Pffls with Hood's Barsaparflla,
and they hare done me much good. I
will not be without them. I hare taken U
bottles of Hood's Sana parilla, and. through
the blessing of God, ft has eared 'me.
I worked as hard as ever the past sum
mer, and I am thankful to say I am
welt Hood's Pills when taken with
Hood's Sanaparilla help rery much."
Mrs. M. M. MsnssaranB, Freehold, Fran.
This snd many other cures prove that
Mood.
Sarsaparilla
Is the One True Blood Purifier. AD drurirlsts. II.
Prepared only by C. L Hood a Co., Lowell, Mass.
act easily, promptly air
I ;UUU S fills enectlrely.
Grant's tndMfereaea.
Gen. Sherman, Illustrating the dif
ference between his own mental and
moral make-up and Gen. Grant's, said:
"When I have arranged my plans and
made my dispositions for a battle, lam
anxious about what the enemy may be
doing on the other side of the hills. But
Grant after he has made his arrange
ments, doesn't care a picayune for
what the ether side Is doing."
A story, told by Senator Jones, of
Nevada, and reported In Mr. WlllartTf
"Half a Century with Judges and Law
yers," shows Gen. Grant as self-reliant
In private Ufa as he was In military.
The General, while walking out in the
suburbs of Washington, frequently diet
a butcher driving a horse to which he
took a strong liking. After much nego
tiation he bought the animal, and bad
It taken to his stable, where one day
Senators Conkllng and Jones were In
vited to look at the new purchase.
"Well, gentleman, how do yon like the
horse?" asked Grant, after the animal
had been inspected.
"How much did yon give for him, Mc
President?" asked Conkllng.
"Four hundred dollars."
"I'd rather have the $400 than the
horse," rejoined Conkllng.
"That's what the butcher thought."
coolly remarked Grant, puffing out a
cloud of smoke. "Put him back lnte
the stall. John."
Oatarra aa CsMi Rellered ta 10 to Be
jaiasiiea.
t,, "i". ul oreain I R roar a tba
Blower, supplied with each bottle of Dr.
jmiew r i atarrnal Powder, diffuses this Pow
der over the sortac of the nasal iisiiitih
-", iu Ho. it relieves in
fiSJi'Cft lS",r euna (Vrrb. Uy
.i 1 1 ... i IT. J,ri luronl. Ton.
slllt. and Deafness. If your droasist haat
U lu stock, ask Mm to uroture U tmiir
The Alps and the Himalayas seem
immense to the beholders who stand
at their bases, but upon the globo. as
a whole, they are no more than the
roughness of the skin of an orange.
We wtll (rtve $W0 re want fnr any ease of ctv
tarrii that cannot beeured with Hall's Catarrh
Cure. Taken internally.
F. J. 'Mnwav A l'o.. Props.. Toledo, Ot
The entomological collection of M.
Jules Fallon, which includes twenty
live thousand moths and butterflies,
baa been presented to the museum of
the Jardio des Plantes, at Paris by his
grandsons.
Cure Guaranteed by DR. J. H. MATER, 101S
Arrh tttPHlLA..f'A. latest once: no opera
tion or delay from business, itensultation free.
Indorsement ot phymtclaiu, ladies sod promi
nent citlsena. bend lor circular, otnoa uuurs
A M. to HP. M.
By a special permit, and in mailing
packages approved by the Poatoflice
Department, bacteria or disease
tissues may now be sent through the
mails to United States or municipal
laboratories.
Drive Out the Impurities from your Mood and
build up your system by creating an appetite and
toulng the ttomach with Hood's SarsaparlUa, If
you would keep yourself weiL
Hood's Pills are the best after-dinner pUl;
assist digestion, cure headache. 26 eenta,
The experiment of electrical trac
tion in the Baltimore Tunnel has now
been tried about a rear, with renulta
so far to the advantage of the electrin
motors over inuee propeiiea Dy steam.
Jf rfllleted with sore eyes me Dr. Twfl Thomp
imi sk-Ts-water. Vrucsiats sell at 35c. per bottle
Dr. W. H. Hanker, Superintendent
o! the Deleware Insane Hospital, i.
going to try the effects of the X rays
on the brains of a number of the in
sane people under his charge.
FITS stopped ires by Da. KLntrs Oaaa
Kutva Itavroaca. No flts alter first day's use
Marvelous cures. Treatise and H00 trial bottle
true. In. Kline, 981 Aieb 8t Phils..
Crookes tubes, forme in taking X
rar photographs, hare already ap
peared on the bargain counter of a
Chicago department store. They cost
16.95 each.
Mia. Wtns,6wa hootntnr Syrap lor children
Irethlng, soltens the sums, reduces Innamma
Uon. allays pain, cures wind eolia ;Na a botUe.
Crowley's Maiden Speech.
"Did I teU you fellows how I come
to make my maiden speech?" asked
Congressman Crowley of Texas. "No?
Well, It was this way. A gang of
newspaper fellows was guying me at
not making a speech. 'Speechmaklng's
no sign of a man's usefulness In Con
gress,' says I; "better men than me are
not making speeches; bat If you're
bettln' that I can't make a speech I'll
Just go yon a ten.'
"'It goes,' says one of the gang.
You're afraid, and he shows the long
green.
" 'What a p In the House now 7
says L
" "Cannon la flghtln' an Increase for a
lighthouse keeper In yonr district,' says
he.
" rn go right new,' says I. And In
I goes. Well, yon know what hap
pened. I told Cannon he didn't know
as much about keepln' a lighthouse
as a porcupine does about ascension
day, and Cannon spread himself an
over me. If he'd known how I come
to jump on tarn 111 bet he'd laoghed.
Then I goes out, and the stakeholder
hands me the stuff. That's hew It
iirmsmri rtr'Ptiati t -
0UA E0YS AND 0IELS
THIS W THEIR DEPARTMENT OF
THE PAPER.
traalsrt aaytsusw aad CwtaTbolaaBi f ta
Uttle Velke KTwrvksrs, Oataarsd
Printed Here Car All Otkaa- U
Sara Pieatiluttoa.
For aa antidote
To every Joy -Mix
a large tin horn
And a small bad boy.
The OHitaryBad Straaala,
Lodge I like to see young folks bar
ing a good time. Boya will be boys and
girls win be girls.
Hodge Not nowadays. Girls will be
boya er they try their best to be.
A TlrM IamesrlaaUoa.
A Philadelphia family baa a girl of
six. who Is possessed of a rlrld Imagin
ation. The other day her mother asked
her where the pet eat was at the time.
"She's In the parlor chasing her bushy.
black tall with her beady, black eyas,
returned the child.
A Otrl Preactser.
Oaretta Avery, the 10-year-old negro
girl, who Is converting so many whites
and blacks In the South by ber mag
netic preaching, has pretty eyes and a
ready command of pure and elevated
language. She cornea from Washing
ton and her mother, who travels with
her. says of her: "Olaretta baa been
preaching for nearly two years now,
and she Is just 10 years old. We had
taught her to read, but beyond that she
has had no advantages. She la a per
fectly artless child at home, has a lot
of dolls, and is running In and ont of
the house all the time, singing. laugh
ing and playing with other children."
Ha Stood on His Dtcalty.
nil Ciinici Alfonm XIII. Is "at
i,nma tn tho iittWt anna and daughters
of the Spanish court dignitaries. Part
of the entertainment consists ox nine-
Itif, Ona aftarnonn the 4-rear-old king.
after dancing with a senorlta of his
own age. tried to kiss the aamsei, ac-mrrftns-
tn the cnjitnm at these Juvenile
entertainments. The little one, how
ever, retreated before the royal saiute.
Next Sunday the two aancea logemer
again, but when the lady tried to make
up for her sins of omission of the pre
vious dance and offered to klsa the
mnnatvh th latter. Instead Of giving
her his cheek, offered her the back of
his baby hand, saying. I am tn
king." All the Tear Round.
A Cheeky Little Lank.
Tier. Dr. Meredith, a well-known
clergyman, tries to cultivate friendly
relatione with the young members or
his flock. In a recent talk to his Sun
da r school he urged the children to
speak to blm whenerer they met
The next day a dirty-faced urchin.
80101(100- a elorarette and baring a gen
erally disreputable appearance, accost
ed him In the street with:
"Hullo, doctor r
The clergyman stopped and cordially
Inquired:
"And who are yon, sir?"
"I'm one of your little lambs," re
plied the boy, affably. "Fine day."
And. tlltinc his hat on hla heaa. ne
ar a-rora nffP leavlnff the WOrthV dl-
vine peechlesa with amazement.
How Tiptoes Carried a letter.
Uttle Mary and ber kitten Tiptoes
were rery fond of each other, and
when Mary had to be sent to ber un
cle's, four miles away from home, to
attend school, one of the hardest
things for her to do was to part with
kitty.
A few days sfter she had left home.
as she wss walking slowly toward
school one morning, what should she
see in the road a few .feet from her but
Tiptoes, trotting straight toward her
uncle's house. She ran and caught
her up In her arms, and laughed and
almost cried at the same time.
But this was not the strangest part
of what Tiptoes did, for kittens often
find their way over long distances.
When Mary returned from school that
night she wrote a letter to her mam
ma, telling her of the kitten's adven
ture, and then tied the letter with a
ribbon around Tiptoes neck and told
her that she must go back home and
carry the letter to mamma. And what
do you suppose, for this Is a true story i
A few days later Mary received a
letter through the mail from mamma,
saying that Tiptoes had come home
and delivered the letter safely.
Now don't you think that Mary has
reason to think Tiptoes a pretty smart
cat?
How Snip Vest,
"Snip can't go."
"Snip wants to."
"Well, Snip can't"
"Why can't he?"
"Because hell be a nuisance. He
grabs things to eat and chatters and
makesafnsswhen folks are speaking."
Johnny raised a howl of distress, but
Rob, who was to make the speech at
the tree-planting at the echoolhouse,
was firm. The fanny little old-faced,
long-tailed, mischievous monkey was
not to hare any part In the arbor day
frolic.
In the morning a compact little bun
dle of trees, glren by Rob's father, was
placed on a spring wagon and driven
the mile to the schoolhouse.
"They're heavier than I'd hare sup
gtosed," some one said as they were
lifted eat "Hello I What's this?"
And from out of the thick bunch of
green at one end sprang Snip! He had
hidden there and waa now ready for
his share of the fun.
To hla credit. It must be said that he
behaved rery well He grarely crept
up and took hold with the children aa
they held a tree while It was planted.
Bnt the next moment he stooped for
a drink of water when It was poured
on the roots, and made them all laugh.
When the tree was planted he ran up
and hung himself by the tall to one of
the limbs.
It waa agreed that Snip should be
Invited to help eat arbor day next yean
May Be Stanley's Pry sn lea.
It is said that a young Phlladelphian
named Donaldson Smith, who has been
traveling in Africa, claims the discov
ery of a race of pygmies previously un
known. The brief description of them
glren In the Philadelphia Times would
Indicate that these are the same people
described quite fully by Henry M. Stan
ler.
Am Intarearlaay wbjeaa,
Mr. Gladstone missed a great oppor
tunity when he i erased aa offer from
an American magasino of a dollar a
word for an article on any subject what
ever. : He ought to hare written 10,000
words on "The Foolishness of Mags
sine Editors." Boston Globe.
Occasions Tly a
tried without anes
who H lone
BACKACHE.
A Yary I
The back, "the mainspring of wo
man's organism," quickly calls atten
ton to trouble by aching. . It tells
with other symptoms, such aa nervous-
ache, pains in
loins, and
Lydla
B. Pink-
ham's Vege
table Compound for twenty years has
been the one and only effective remedy
In such eases. It speedily removes the
cause and effectually restores the
organs to a healthy and normal condi
tion. Mrs. Pinkham cheerfully answers
all letters from ailing women who
require advice, without charge. Thou
sands of cases like this are recorded.
" I hare taken one-half dozen bottles
of Lydla E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, and it has relieved me from all
pain. I cannot tell yon the agony I
endured for years ; pains in my back
(Oh, the backache was dreadful I) and
bearing-down pains in the abdomen
extending down into my limbs ; head
ache and nausea, and rery painful
menstruations. I had grown very thin,
a mere shadow of my former aelf.
Now I am without a single pain tint
am gaming in flesh rapidly." Mattcs
GlkhsT, 1661 Dudley St, Cincinnati.
HIS PARENTS' FAULT.
And, Ooaaa to Thlak of It, taa Own
la of cralldrea Ia a eepoaalbUtty.
The young man admitted that he had
children, and the real estate mad
frowned and shook his bead.
"We are rery particular In regard to
that building," he said at last "and I
am afraid I cannot let you hare the
flat"
"I am rery sorry, returned the young
man meekly, "and It seems rather hard
that a man should be made to auffer for
what la no fault of hla own, but I sup
pose it can't be helped."
The real estate man looked surprise..
"Tou see," explained the young maul
"I wasn't glren a fair chance, for I
nerer waa told In my younger days that
It was wrong to have children, or tbnt
there was any penalty attached. I sup
posed It waa all perfectly natural and
proper, but I presume the enormity of
the offense is fully explained In all thf
schools now."
"Really, I "
"Then I had a rery bad example set
me right In the family," interrupted the
young man, "for my parents had chil
dren. It seems remarkable doesn't it?
But It's a fact; and they were held to
be very estimable people, too. I wss
taught to revere them, and naturally I
fell Into the error of supposing that
there was nothing unlawful or opposed
to public policy about It and so I mar
ried, and now I find myself in such dis
repute that I can't get the kind of flat
I want I suppose It's all right but you
muBt admit that it seems rather hard on
a man who has always aimed to be a
good citizen."
"My dear sir, you "
"Now I think of it" broke In Ibe
youn man again, 1 suppose your
parents were guilty of the same offense.
I do not see how you can successfully
deny It. Now, sir, I would like to nsk
you If you think It is fair for a man to
expect his tenants to be more accepta
ble than his parents?"
"I was about to say, when you inter
rupted me," returned the agent ' that,
under the circumstances, I am prepared
to suspend the rule regarding childran
and let you hare the flat" Cbicagu
Post
Hal
Keeda asr'itr--ii It may be best to render It
promptly, bat on ahoald reaaember to use
vaa taa moat perfect remedies only when
needed. The best and most simple and gentle
remedy si tho Syrup of figs, manufactured by
the California 11a Bvrup Company.
Tha ano-ffMtlon haa been made that
the house of Rer. Dr. Samuel F. Smith
tho anlhnr nt America." at Newton
Centre Mass., be purchased and pre
served as a memorial.
v a , l m. kuI nf hnmnnhiMnflnilBI hT
A .ui cuiucij --' .
Ptso's Cure for Consumption. LoUHA LINDA
HAM. Bethany. Ha, Jn. 8. M.
The habit of turning around three
or four times before lying down has
survived in the domestic dog from his
savage ancestry. It then served to
break down the grass and make a tea.
BM.iiiwHniMiNinni vi-llow sn 1 rancid .
Dobbin-' Flostlne-Boras Soap does neither. The
Borax In l blesches li with eg, and the odor
I. 4AlihtA,l I n, It nnM. DM It AlwlTI. O. der
a trial lot 01 your grocer. Insist on red wrapper-.
The horn of the rhinoceroes does not
stow from the bone, but it is a mere
excrescence of the skin, like the hair
and nails. It can be sepan t d from
the akin by the use of a sharp knife.
Heart Disease Kellemd la SO Klnntea,
Or. Asaewa Cure for the Heart gives perfect
relief In all oases of Orgmnie or Sympathetic
Heart Dlasaaa In 80 minutes, and apeedily ef
fects a cure. It is a peerless remedy for PaJ-
S I tat km, Shortness of Breath, Smothering
Delia Pal a in Left Side and all armntoma of
a Diseased Heart. One dose convinces. If
your druginat hasat It In stock, ask him to
procure U tot zoa. It will save rour life.
Tn thA new edition of the British
Pharmacnranaia. the metric system
of weights and measures will be adopted.
weight inJow
er part T A"r2Fi-iCL
body, bines jBJi HfiTrV "
and "all Mk
gone " fcl-Apy jV )
M t I 1
"Contains More Flesh Form
ing Matter Than Beef.w
That is what an eminent physician
says of good cocoa. The Cocoa
made by Walter Baker & Co., Ltd.,
Dorchester, Mass., is the best.
See that Imitations are not palmed off on you.
C) list Berks EtsHy Herts Successfully." 'Tia vsry
Essy to Glsca Csass With
APOLHO
0ruaJoi-ee IHaleaaaer.
Era. the fair, with soft flaxen hair
lid SeaTasure eyes, like her f.the.
Said. K'aadkJw. with dimples sglowy
"Mamma, will yos bring
little gold ring
From the town, when to-morrow yen tor
But the grave mamma's eyes were solemn
and wise; .
Why, Eva, my dear, you are eary e
child, .
And should think of you books
Instead of yonr looks;"
Se, sagely, the grave mamma smiled.
Of vain, foolisa things.
Like Jewels snd rings, ,
Dea't think till you're older, my child.
araadma, the fair, with soft silver hahy
In her eyes a "long-ago" look.
With a half-musing algh her glasses bus
by.
And dreamily turned from aer rtoea,
"Rings did yon say?
My thoughts were sway;
t remember se weU the first that yea)
wore!
Ton often had coaxed me for tries1
before; '
And once, la the town of Hamburgh, ?
bought
A tiny gold ring, so quaintly wreog ht
How yoneaaced and sang far Joy thaf
day
Do you remember K. daughter May!
Ah, met ah, met
So long ago!
Tou scarcely were old as Bra, I knew.
Eva shook down the ringlets bright
To hide in her eyes the mischievous Ilghtr
Mamma carefully guided ber aas
Grandma-went back to her "lonf-aae'
dreams.
O I rare diplomacy.
Quietly wrought
In the town on the morrow the ting war
bought!
Lottie M, Rosa-
Dishes are washed by electricity.
rTTwWlrrW
of peoyle r ts work ta th
wrong way to care a
Sprain,
Soreness,
Stiffness,
ST. JACOBS OIL
would care la the right way, right
off.
a-a7T
ojADlHAY'S
u PILLS
AlwaysReliable.PurelyVegetablo
Perfe.-fy tasteless, elegsntly eoatet. pure
regulate, purify, cleanse sod strengthen. It i)
WAY'S HI.I-N fur the core of albdiMrdar of thf
Htomach. Bowels. Kidneys. Bladder, Aersoul
Hi-eases, Dixsioess Vertigo, Custlveuuss, riles,
Sick Headache
Female Complaints
Biliousness.
Indigestion
Dyspepsia
Constipation
All Disorders of the Liver
Observe the fil:owtng symptoms, rrsultinf
from diseases of i he dlKeatlve organs: Voostlpsl
Item. Inward plies, lulint-ss or blood In the head,
acidity of tbe stomach, ususea, heartburn, dl
cust of food, lullness of weight ol the stomach,
sour tiucuitl .us. tinting or fluttering of llif
hrart. choking or suffocating st-nsatlons when 1
a lyina pMture. dimness of vision dots or wels
i(orethe slslit. feeranl dull pain In tho head
defl It-ncy of perplrat ou, yellowness of the as ni
and eve, pain In the lUe. ehest. Mm- s, and suit
den flUMhea of heat, bnrntna lu tbe lleah.
A lew doses of KADWAVS MI.I-SwM Ireeth
ty.-teiii l all of the above-nainod dlsnrdara,
I rice 95 eta, a box. Sold by dtugtsts or ssnf
by mall.
Kenrt to DR. RADW AT a CO., lock boa Bo.
New VorK, for b;ok ol Advice.
A quarter spent in HIRES
Rootbeer docs you dollars'
worth of good.
BUri, !, h? Th. Cbsrin K Sim Cs.. VMtalllpUa.
ADVERTISING
i If roo hsTwanythlngy-oo wih toaArertlM.
, write me for ntrt. 1 inter adrert
i menta in all fmiihrattnnslii the U.K., and
I nj effort m to make jour Inveetment pay.
Advertisements written and attractively
rotintyp"- Lettemof adrioe written to In
niin( advertisers. Cocrespondenoe in-
t-ited. 0
; D. Is CRAWS, Rldffewood, If. J
WELL
Drilling Machlnss
for any depth.
l.ae Isssirae'eaaeata. all Msmev Makers,
LOO MIS a. rYMAM, Tiffin, Qhle,
FOR FIFTY YEARS 1
MRS. WINSLOWS
SOOTHING SYRUP
Nws usl i by Mil I teas at Mathers
for their children while Trettilnf fo.' omr
Fifty Vrara. It soothes the ehilJTanftaiia n,
Sums, allays all pain, cures wind coUo,aod
i tbe beat remdr for dlarmaa.
Tweatr-iiTO Cents a Baaiav S
- p....- -- -
RUPTURE
"senAtoS.J.I!
All who wtah to ret rid ef Snatni
and tormentlne
I ana 8 Ann Bt. Kaw York, fur tils
boot cf fall lafaimatleu. fries
nDIH H WHJ.8XT hsnnararMi. Honksrw
wriMMwa, sw. a. a.1
, weetutT, atlas r a. ss
sa
OPIUMS
Nsrpblue Ilablt Carra la If
amym. .-sit pay iiiitam
Mnpaai,UkaBaa, a.
1
irnaHi annuls
apeotettst, '
moat In'arBsMnl
by real', cia)
1 1 Beat Cough Sirup. Ta.a Good. TJss I I
IV In time, gold by druggists. 9 I