F. BOHWEIER,
THE CONSTITUTION THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OP THE LAWS.
Bditer amd
VOL. XLVIII.
MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. NOYEMBER 28. 1894.
NO. 50.
TART I.
ja.ny.
But. then, yoor olJ endear n ways.
What smdy e'er coal : cati-b UiUi
To-.ir pretty fse,ture-, cnJle-s plays.
Want cs-nrus e'er coi.M n Rtcli mem?
Yonr lively leap o! merriment.
Tour murmur of petition.
To-if serious si'.euce t-f c nteut.
Your laugh of recognition.
Here were a puzzling toll Indeed
r art rao'.t fine creations,
Cr.w on, tweet taUy ; u-e will need
To nine yonr transformations.
eiealter, vlen revolving years
Have made ou Inll. aiid twenty.
Awl iTugut you Mended hojics anl fears.
Ana sighs, and slaves, in plenty.
CHATTER I.
THE HEIKESS AT FIFTEEN.
'No, really, Jerry, I cannot have it.
Ko, my dear child." you really are
this really is more than I can put up
with. I have overlooked a great deal,
for, of course, tnis is an out of-tbe-way
place, and dress is nut of much conse
quence here: hut you seem to have no
conscience in the matter. And really,
tor a if reat girl of fitteen to be so ng
f.bout such a figure - why, who. seeing
you to-day, would e er drvam of taking
you for a youns gentlewoman? They
would take you .or a fisherman's daugh
ter nay, or the fisherman himself. I
BhoulJ not bo in the least surprised if
anybody meeting you going alout as
you are now were to take you for one
of the fishermen of the vil.age!"
The sugsje-tw-n was, sooth to say, not
altogether uniner te I.
Jerry"- a fond granddamo's ab
breviatfon for tho more elegant ,-Ger-aldino"
had. tor convenience s:ike.
Inserted her brisk, healthy yo.ing per
son into an ancient yellow oilskin fish
ing coat, which completely covered
everv feminine tarmetit underneat i.
and the collar ot which, standing tn .
rour.d her ear, was lost beneath the
shade of one of those feafaring gla e 1
caps known as "sou'we te: s," whoso
long fan wo Id obviously ward off tho
severest wetting.
With bare hands plunged deeply in
capacious iockets. and a pair o tho
stoutest boots which the village boot
maker - a man aeeusto:ned to make for
p.o ighlioys and fishermen -could pro-
ouco for none but these wouiu nave
pleased lis present customer) the
dug.lter of an ancient house and solo
heiress o a large estate, presented an
appearance which, it must frankly h.
confessed, was liable to confuse tho
mind of any ordinary beholder.
'It really is too much, quite too
much." murmured Geraldine's grand
mother, in tho piteous ac. ents of weak
disapproval, common to those who
ha. e long since found their tyrants.
"1 reaby ought not to allow it: 1 kn w
I ought not."
Jerry's eyes twinkled.
Whoever sees you.'' began the oi l
ladv iitza. n - but time was passing, and
It was necessary this should be put a
stop to. .
Who is there to tee me?" cried the
defaulter merrily. "I say 'who.-' an 1
Lcho answers 'who?' Now, my dear
granny, you had best say who.-' your
self, and" let me o f, there's a Hear."
"How can you tell whom you mav
meet."
Hut I never do meet any one."
'That's not to sav jot never may.
And for you, a youug lady, my grand
daughter, to be marching all over tho
piaco "
"Oh. dear, I r.everthoug htof inarch
ing. Not but what I could man-h
fnoly In this nice, comfortable coat,"
shaking herself anew into it. "out
there's th's difficulty, that there's no
road whero I am no ritz, and one can
hard.y march tiiro igh peal-og and
birchen-wood. Oh, we arj only going
to fish tho burn, and I never meant
to be seen at all, not even by you,
grainy. I had lcn going to slip out
by tho side door, and scuttle along by
the garden wall, only that I had left
my rod and line in the window here,
and you were such a tiresome, mis
chie'.ous old granny, that you jiopped
out upon me before I coal.l es a. e. It
was a shabby ining to uu. ue, ...
Indeed " and the sou'wester' wagged
from side to side reproachfully.
"You madcapthinj:"
"Oh, madcap th ug," quoth Jeiry,
philosophically, "you often call me
that, you know. And if these clothes
keep me Irom getting wet "
"Clothes! my de:ir child, call things
by their righL names. This sailcloth
and oil skin " .
"Well, this sailclota and oilskin. II
It keeps me from getting a cold and
60ro throat "
"Oh, if you must go out in the rain,
it is certainly better not to run the
risk of getting a cold and sore throat.
Hut it is really high time tor you to
give up this sort of th ng, Jerry. A
young lady like you "
"Ought to be sitting perked up on
the great drawing-room sofa, winding
skeins of worsted, or scribbl:ng over
vnrcis of music oaper," cried Jerry,
with, indignant contempt. "-No, thank
voti. dear, not as long as I can help it.
And I do not believe you will ever turn
mo into a yo.iug lady of that sort even
if I should live to bo a hundred, or a
thousand," added she, still more ener
getically. "As if I could sit down am.
yawn beside the 1 re in that great hot
urwing room this glorious afternoon,
wken the waterfalls are crashing ovet
the rocks, and the big trout below will
be all on the alert, and it is but throw
In ' a lino to have them bouncing aftei
you' Oh. I couldn't do it. I reaby
could not do it, if I tried ever so. And
what's more, you would be sorry foi
me ll I did. Madam Granny; and then
1 know how it would be, you would re
lent jus too late, and never, never
never forgave yourself for the cruelt
of it. So there - kiss and be friends -and
don't keep me one other singl
second, there's a dear, gcod, Kmc
cranny."
""You a ill not to.'ar. tear child "
"1 ar? i ot I. I have no need to etc
far. Cannot you 1 ear them? Why,
the fal's have been roaring ever since
noon, with tho Kimin irom the hills in
the night: but it was no use lis lingtill
they had gone down a little: they will
ie just in trim now -at least the pool
will - '
. ' Those dei p tools'"
. "i ll take : re-I will indeed, dear,"
touched hv the sii?h which, wh le it
oetoker.eu the close ot the contest,
also a pealed to the generosity of the
vooiueror. "Vou (.oa t know how
Jareful 1 am," proiesiea errv earnest
ly.
"You are not going alone?"
"I'onald goes with me, of course."
'"Well, Donald is something," con
ceded her t randmother ruefully. She
could not say '-somebody," for she
could h; rdly recognize a person in the
ragged, bare-footed, 1: -year old brat,
who wasGeraldino'sself-constituted at
tendant out of uoors; but she could al
low that tho presence of a cat-like
creature, with eyes to dart, and long
supple arms to catch, and a high yell
ing voice to shout, was at best better
than absolute soitude. "Lonald is
something," she said, "why is ho not
hero "
"He is hero. Fie has been waiting
for me down at the white bridge lor
nsres ana ages. He must think 1 am
never co ning. Oh, Donald and I will
be all right, never you tear; and we
bliall bring you in such a basket of
I entities and see, the i a n l.as stopped,
and there is the blue sky overheat
and h ok. look, such a glorious stream
of light ha broken outover the water!
Oh, you will never stop in the bouse
yourself now; you mabt get out at once
this very minute. Send for Jane.
and bundle on your thimrs: and I'm
oif, I m o:f, and awa', over the hills
aiid farawa', tra-la, tra-la tra-la,'" and
bung wem the huge oak door, as with
the joyous whooD of a school-boy, and
the"pa,e of a whirlwind, away flew
M.ss Geraldine Campbell of Ine..
marew, tho greatest heiress in the
length and bread' h of Argyll.
Mrs. Curai bell stood still for a mo
ment ere she turned and re-enterod
the deserted drawing room.
'She is only fifteen," she murmured,
in a tone little resembling that in
which the "great girl of fifteen" had
been exhorted to better ways. "Only
liitecn and there are yet three fuil
years before she need lie presented to
the world. Hut what if she goes on as
he is doing now? Io, she will not,
she must not. No, we shall see a
change ere then. She will tone down,
soften, grow less wild and careless, im
prove in shape. At present sho Is all
arms and legs, and though she carries
it oil well, still her figure is that of a
.jhild a fine, growing child. She will
be tall presently, every few monthi
there is a di:ferenco. Her waist is too
largo but waists are large at her age.
1 wonder if 1 am partial, but it seems
to me the child needs nothing that
time will not be.-tow upon her. Such
complexion -such acolor! Fairness it
self, without a trace of freckle or sun
lnrn tnoUf,h sho runs in and out hat-
less half the time. Hut this moist
climate is certainly a charming' cos
metic: and Geraidine is right, little as
she thinks or cares a1 out it, when she
eschews the hou-e. an 1 the warm
rooms, and spends her life in the fresh
air. s-itting over a fire would be tho
wreck of her bloom; and as for her
shape anajcarriage. not one of hor
cousins, with all their gymnasiums and
riding master-, can show s .ch a
straight hack and open chest, and
walk with such an elastic step, as my
Geraldine. After nerown fashicn, my
child is grace itself: and if only sho
would not overdo it. and would not
make herself such a guy but, how
ever, I supine she will meet nobody,
aid the servants must, be accustomed
to her ways bv this time and she is a
dear child. nnd would obey me if I seri
ously desired her to do anything, so
why should 1 thwart her in a t ill?
After all, I nee.1 not mind what her
aunts say. My own daughters! 1
brought them up without any help
from themselves, s. surely I may be
trusted with my grandchild. Char
lotte was jealous, and always was; and
Maria would like to have had poor
Diarmid's daughter to bring up her
self. And realty, considering that I
was both a He and wil ingto undertake
the charge, she need not have wished
to see me laid on the shelf quite so
soon!"
And the old lady drew herself up
and bridled, although she was alone,
and no one could have the benefit.
She was not really old, belne only a
little over ;0, and was still handsome,
cheerful, humorous, oversowing with
enersry anu with an acklowledged zest
for neighlnirly intercourse, pleasant
scenes, summer galas, and winter din
ner parties. Above all, however, did
she affect the London season on the
Ilowery, showery Mav days, when tho
luster la yet upon It; when the a aleaj
and hyacints in the parks are still more
brilliant than the many-tinted throngs
around them; when the shop windows'
are gayest and the roar of wheels Is
loudest, and even the dingiest, dustiest
alleys in tho background put out jeiri
little flower-pots and make a feint of
enjoying life. It was the thought of all
this, and the prospect of some day re
turning to take her iart in it, whrjn,
more than any matronly anxiety, occa
sion !y found vet in remonstrances such
as those with which our chapter opens
it was the rteterinir.ation that in duq
time the heiress should be by all the'
world admired, honored and perchance
envied, which made her every now
and then discontented with the hum
ble pleasures ana modost aspirations of
her darling.
For Jerry hated the very Idea of
London. She had never been there
vowed she never would go there.
What did she want with a dirty,
smoky old town, with nothing but rows
of houses, shrieking underground
trains, rattling omnibuses, and every
Wind of horror?
oh, she kr.etr-she had heard about
it all: It was all very fine for granny
to smile. She always knew that
,"grown-ups ' llsrea towns, ana sue
'r-nnlil remember how, as a child, she
'had been used to see the men-servante
' r a - I V1.W knn
and mald-servauie m uiru
the time came for going into E'llnburg
f. tliA winter, and how sne una oeeu
a... t.n, inctmctffd that it was very sll-
y KuvuA , - . ,
ly and naughty for her not to be glad,
too. when she ought to be thankful and
proud that her pa- bad fine r""ra
in Moray Place to take her lo, instead
i' having, as many piouii
m.:1 the ear round in the nasty, cold,
vcet Ilftrhlands. where there was no
one to be seen. ind not a shop nor a
rfirk to be remcued, once the weather
turne-.l ba 1. ,
That, was what the stupid maids had
said, wh' n all they wanted was to get
to Kdinburg to see their stupid sweet
hearts.
i, tnew hotter. It had been nottt'
;n,r hut "iro i must do this," and "you
m.Tt nnt. i"li that." from the moment
....i n,.riu. i at. MoravHace. She
had not been allowed to stir outside
the doors, be tho day ever so fine, un
til Katie had been free to attend her,
she had not been allowed to give her
do"- a run without putting on hat.
"lJves, and even boots. There had
been no rushing round stables, and
kennels, and gardens in the dusk after
lessons: no dairy, no rultry-yard to
take refuge in; no hens, no pigeons, no
voun- rabbits nor Arrets to feed; no
JO Id M'.nnnn when she had
1 1 been let loose roin the school room xt
rn. 'Miss Geradine, your
ma wishes
I
to see u
ing room: she has ladies with her."
And, of course, nothing had been worse
than that.
Now at Inchmarew there was always
something to do or to see new pup
pies, or chickens, or something. And
there was the shore; and on the shore
It he re was always something. And
there was her pony.
tsut ueraidine was not prone to dwell
nj-on the pony, for in her heart of
hearts the young horsewoman was
iivvu o that if the truth was out, her
rides at Inchmarew over a rough, hilly
district, and always along one monot-
f' nous road, with only a choice betwixt
. urning lo the right or the left as the
rider emerged from the lodge gate,
kyould ill bear comparison with -ho
vrand swecn of country to he traversed
In all directions round the Heart of
Midlothian. It had been enough that
she could affect to add this to her list
if grievances; and so it had gone in
with the rest, and helped to add up the
sum total.
Yes, she had hated Edinburgh, and
the was ssre, quite sure, she should
bate London equally, if not more.
In vain granny had protested, di'ated
and assured. Jerry lad invar ably
listened with as much intention of be
ing convinced, and of budging one
hair's bioiidth from her position as a
oung mule -and by this time every
one knew with whom lay the reins of
iiower at Inchmarew Castle.
Jerry's parents had been affection
ate, but they had also been selfish; in
fonse.fuence of which she had never
een able to lord It so completely over
them as she had, since their death,
contrived to do over their successor.
Hit by bit granny had yielded on al
most every contested point, until at
Just it had come about that even the
spoilt child herself was fain to be gen
erous, and at times ashamed. For
Geraldine had a finer nature than hal
ever yet been manifested.
One circumstance, it must be added.
had strengthened the young girl's
cause when pleading to le allowed to
remain in her Highland fastnes9 undis
turbed and unmolested, and this was
the assurance privately received by
Mr. Cambell that a few years' retire
ment would enable the horses to take
her place in tho v;orld more fittingly
when the time came for doing so, than
if the money were to be frittered away
in town houses, expensive joarneys,and
the lik-i, before hand.
Now, of all things, as we have said,
the fond grandmother desired so see
her darling a great lady, and a great
lady fulfilling all the duties and obli
gations of her high estate. That Ger
aldine should be good as well as great
she sincerely wished and devoutly
prayed; but she desired both.
It was, to her mind, fitting and seem
ly that a Campbell of Inchmarew
should go abroad among the great ones
of the earth. She had herself wedded
a Highland chief, with her head full
of all the glories of doing so, and had
found all too lata that she, an tngtis'i
woman born and bred, was by far tho
greater Highlander of the two.
The disappointment had been keen,
and It had been repeated, for her only
son had followed in the steps of his
father had discarded the kilt, never
acquired the Gaelic tongue, and knew
nothing and eared less about the le
gends, customs, and traditions of the
house. Sh had felt herself fairly
checkmated, and it had cost her many
a pang.
And now, behold! just when it was
not wanted, and could well have been
disiensed with, alt the wild blood that
these two very tame specimens ot rant
ing, roving chleftainhood ought to
have possessed and never had pos
sessed, came surging up to light
through the blue veins of a fair girl,
and was not to be repressed.
TO IiE OONTIXUtUJ. I
Ill-AdTlseil.
jn dealing with royalty it is neces
sary to have "a pretty reason" ready
for any awkward situation; for kings
and queens can never be made re
sponsible for failure.
When Victoria was a very young
sovereign, she sat down, one day, to
play chess with the (Jueen of Belgium.
She had never played before, and
Lord Melbourne with Lord l'alnier-
ston stood behind ber chair and ad-
vited her.
Later, Lord John Ilobhouse tcok
their place, and became somewhat
confused ny the difficulties of the
situation. A good deal of misunder
standing was occasioned by the fact
of having queens on the board and
two queens at the tabla
Moreover, v ictorla was constantly
asking, "What must I do?" so that
the adviser felt Incapable of making
a well-considered decision.
He lost the game, but next night
the (tUeen, undlscou raged, played
again. When Sir John entered the
room, she ran up to him, laughing,
and exclaiming:
-I've won! How did 1 happen to
lose yesterday?"
This was a poser. Could the
courtier reply, "Because your Majesty
had not learned the game?" By no
means.
"Because," said he, "vour Majesty
had such bad advisers!"
Altiioitom England's farme s make
a specialty of choice mutton sheen,
and Australia also supplies the Lon
don market with frozen meat, yet the
prices for good mutton keep pace
with the demand.
Walk boldly and wisely in the light
thou bast; there is a hand above will
help thee on.
Many men's thonghts are sot acorns,
bnt merely pebbles.
Jnst the moment man thinks he is
strictly in it, some one "a ights' him.
Yon will miBS it if yon undertake to
measure a mau's religion by the length
of bis face.
There is a divinity within m who
breathes that divine Are by which we
are animated.
To-morrows may be long coming, bnt
they keep coming. Time is a mill,
and to-morrows are bnt the dust of
itsgnndinga.
.Nobody knows what lovei'. and some
people wreck their lives trying to find
out
Be yonr character what it will, it
will be known; and nobody will take it
upon yonr word.
Life. I repeat, is energy of love.
divine or human, exercised in pain, in
striie ana trioniaiion.
Men are generally mo-e careful of the
breed of their horses and dogs than of
their children.
Some temptations come to the in
dustrious, bnt all temptations attack
the idle.
The gem cannot be polished without
frictioD. cor man perfected without
trials.
It is easier to enrich ourselves with
thousand virtues than to correct our
selves of a single fault
REV. DE. TALMAGE.
THS BBOOKIiTN DIVINE'S SUN
DAT SEB3ION.
Subject : "Home Again."
Tryt "Ttr'psr IiVxt itio fatiol C.tlt anfl
kill it. " Luiosv., 23.
In all ages of the world ft has tjeen m
tomary to relebrntn joyful event by festiv
ity 4hs slffulnR of trentii's, tho proclama
tion of pnaee. the Christina, thfl mnrrlairi.
However much on other daya of the year
rnr table may have stinted supply, on
Thankasivtne there must he something
bounteous. And all the comfortable homes
ef Christendom have at soma time cele
l rated joyful events by banquet and fes
tivity. Something has happened In the ol 1 home
stead (rrenter than anything that baa evor
happened before. A favorite son, whom the
world snpposed would become a vagabond
and outlaw forever, has (rot tired of 1ffht
seel n if and has returned to bis father's
bouse. The world said he never would
romebaek. The old mnn always said his
son would come. He had been looking for
him day after day and year after year. He
knew he would come bark. Now, having
returned to his father's house, the father
proclaims celebration. There Is a calf In
the paddock that has been kept up 'and fed
to utmost capacity, so as to be ready for
some occasion of joy that miffbt eomealonir.
Ah, there never will be a crandor day on
the old homestead than this day. Z.et the
botchers do their wort and the housekeepers
brlnir into the table the smoklnir meat. The
musicians will take their places, and the eay
(rroups will move up and down the floor.
All the friends and neighbors are w ithered
In, and extra supply is sent ont to the table
of the servants. The father presides at the
table, and says erace, nnd thanks Go t that
his long absent boy Is home aijnln. Oil. how
they missed him ! How Rlad they are to
havo him back' One brother Indeed stamls
outing at the back door and says : "This
i a great a'lo about nothing. This bad boy
sbonld have been chastened Instead of
greeted. Veal is too eood for hlra !' Bnt
the father says: "Nothing fs too goorf.
Nothing is good euou'Th." There sits the
young man. glnd at the hearty reception,
but a shadow of sorrow flitting across his
brow at the remembrance of the trouble he
had seen. All ready now. Lt the covers
lift. Music. He was dead, and he Is alive
again ! He was lost, and he Is found ! By
such bold imagery does the Bible sot forth
the merrymaking when a soul comes horns
to God.
First of all, there is the now convert's joy.
It is no tame thing to become a Christian.
The most tremendous moment in a man's
life Is when he surrenders himself to God.
The grandest time on the father's honostevl
Is when the bov corm-a back. Anions the
great throng who, in the parlors of my
church, professed Christ one nl-ht was a
young man, who next morning rang my
doorbell nnd said: "Sir, I caaaot contain
myself with the joy I feel. I came here this
morning to express It. I have foun t more
joy In five minutes in serving G l than la
all the years ot my prodigality, un J I came
to say so."
You have sepn perhaps a mnn running for
his physical liberty an 1 the olBotrs of the
law after him, and yon saw him escape, or
afterward you heard the judge had pir lone I
him nnd how groat was the g!e9 of that res
cued man I But It Is a very tame thing that
compared with the running for one's ever
lasting life the terrors of the law after him
and Christ coming in to par ion nnd bless
and rescue nnd save. Yi;u remember John
Bunyan, in his great story, tolls how the pil
grim put his fingers in his ears and ran, ciy
ing, "Life, life, eternal life!" A poor oar
driver, after having had to straggle to sun
port his family for years, suddenly was in
formed that a largo Inheritance was hl, r.Tl
thoro wao joy araontillut; iki liilTtncmt,
but that is a small thing compared with thai
experience of one when he has put in his
bands the title deed to the joys, the raptures,
the sp!en lors of heaven, and he can truly
say, "Its mansions are mine t Its templnsnrn
mine ; its songs arc nr'ne ; Its Go 1 Is mine !"
Ob, it is no tame tiling to become a Chris
tian. It Is a merrymaking. It Is the killing
of the fntted calf. It is jubilee. Yon know
the Bible never compares it to a funeral, but
always compares it to something bright. It
Is more apt to be compared to a banquet
than anything else. If is compared In tba
Bible to the water bright, flashing water
to the morning, roseate, fire worked, tnounJ
tain transfigured morning. I wish I conld,
to-day take all the BiMe. expressions about
pardon and peace and life anil comfort an'.l
nope and heaven, and twist them into one)
garland, and put it on the brow of the hum
blest child of God in all this land, and cry:
"Wear it, wear it now. wear it forever, son
of Go I, daughter of the LorJ God Almiglity.
Ob, the joy of the new convert 1 Oh, the
gladness of the Christian service !"
You have seen sometimes a mnn In a re
ligious assembly get up and give his expe
rience. Well, Paul gave his experience.
He rose in the presence of two churches
t'je church on earth and the church In
heaven and he said, "Now, this is my ex
perience, sorrowful, yet always rejoicing;
poor, yet making many rich ; having noth
ing, yet possessing nil things." If all the
people who read this sermon knew the joys
ot the Christian religion, they would all
p iss over into the kingdom of God the next
moment. When Daniel Sandeman was dy
ing of cholern. his attendant said. "Hava
Jou mu?h pain?" "Oh." he replied, "since
founil the Lord I have never had any pain
except bid." Then they said to him.
"Would you like to send a message to your
friends?" "Yes. I would. Tell them that
only Inst night the love of Jesus oame rush
ing into my soul like the surges of the sea,
and I bad to cry out : 'Stop, Lord ; it is
enough 1 Stop Lord enough V" Oh,
the joys of this Christian religion I
Just pass over from those tame joys In
which jou are Indulging joys of this
world into the raptun-sof tne gospel. The
world cannot satlsry you ; you have roun 1
out Alexander longing for other worlds to
conquer nnd yet drowned in his own bottle,
Byron whipped by disquietudes around the
wona, Voltaire cursing nis own bo in wnne
nil the streets of Paris were applauding him,
Henry IL consuming with hatred against
poor Thomas a Becket. all illustrations ot
the fact that this world cannot make a mnu
happy. The very mnn who poisoned the
pommel of the saddle on which Queen
Elizabeth rode shouted in the street, "Go 1
Save the Queen 1" One moment the world
applauds, and the next moment the world
anathematizes.
Oh, come over into this greater Joy, this
sublime solace, this magnificent beatitude.
The night after the bat tie of Sliiloh there
were thousands of wounded on the field, nnd
the ambulances had not come. One Chris
tian soldier, lying there a-dying under tb
starlight, began to sing :
There is a land of pure delight.
And when we came to the next line there
Were scores of voices united :
Where saints Immortal reign.
The song was caught up all over the field
among the wounded until it was sail that
there were at least 10,000 wounded men
uniting their voicss as they cam J to th.
Verse-
There everli.Si.ing spring abides
And never withering flowers.
Death, like a narrow stream, divides
That heavenly land from ours.
Oh, it Is a great religion to Mtj by, and it
is a great religion to die by. There is only
one heart throb between yon and that relig
ion this moment. Just look into the face of
your pardoning God, nnd surrender yourself
lor time and for eternity, nnd He is your?,
and heuven is yours, and nil is yours. Some
of you, like the young mnn of the text, have
gone astray. 1 know not the history, but
you know it you know it.
When a young mnn went forth Into life,
the legend says, hiB guardian angel went
terth with him, and getting him into a field
the guirdinn angel swept a elrele elest
around vfhere the young man stood. It was
a cirole of virtue and honor, and he must
not step beyond that circle. Armed foes
came down, but were oblige! to halt at the
circle. They could not pass. But one day
temptress, with diamoned hand, stretched
forth and crossed that circle with. the hand,
and the tempted soul took it, and by that
one fell grip was brought beyond the circle
and died.
Some of you have stenned beyond that crl
tle. Would you not like this day, by the
grace of God, to step back? Ths. I say to
yon, la your hour of salvation. There was
In the closing hours of Qaen Anne what U
called the clock scene. Plot down on
the pillow. In helpless sickness, she could
not move her head or move her band. She
was waiting for the hour when the ministers
of State should gather In aagry contest, an 1
worried and worn out by the coming honr,
nnd in momentary absence ot the nurse, In
the power the strange power whlei do-
br um sometimes gives one she arosi ad
Itood In front of the dock, and stood ther.
watching the clonk when the nana returned.
The nurse said, "Do ton see anything pecul
iar about that clock?' She made no answer,
but soon died. There is a clock scene in
every history. If some of yon would rise
from the bed of lethargy and come ont of
your delirium of sin and look on the clock of
your destiny this moment, you would see
ind hear omotblng von have not seen or
or heard bsfore, and every ttofc of the minute,
ind every stroke of the hour, and every
twing of the pendotnm, would say, "Now,
now, now, now !' Oh, come home to your
father's house! Come home, oh, prodigal.
Vera the wilderness 1 Come home, come
tome f
But I notice that when the prodigal came
(hers was the father's j.-y . Ho did not greet
him with any formal "How 'to yon do?" He
did not come out and say : "You are unit to
nter. Go out and wash In t.ie trough by
tho well, and then you can come In. We
hava bad enongh trouble wltb you." Ah,
no I When the proprietor of that estate pro
alalmed festival, it was an outburst of a
father's love anl a father's joy. Gol Is
your father.
I have not much symp ithy witn that de
scription of God I sometimes hear, asttiou ;a
He were a Turkish sultan hard and nnsy n
pathetio and listening not to the cry ot His
subjects. A man told me hesaw in one or t lie
eastern lands a king ri ling a'on;, und two
men were tn an alteroatlon, and one charged
the other with having eaten his rice, and
the king said, "Then slay the man, nnd ny
post mortem examtnntlon find whether he
has eaten the rice." And he was slnln. Ah,
the cruelty of a soene like that 1 Oar God is
not a sultan, not a despot, but a father
kir.d, loving, forgiving and He makes all
heaven ring again when a prodigal cornea
back. "I have no pleasure. He says, "in
the death of him that dieth."
If a man does not get heaven. It is because
he will not go there. No diff-renc t'rj col
or, no difference the history, no difference
the antecedents, no difference the surround
ings, no difference the sin. When the white
horses ot Christ's vlotory are brought out to
celebrate the eternal triumph, you may rid'
one of them, and, as God Is greater than all.
His joy is greater, and when a soul comes
hack there is in His heart the surging of an
infinite ocean of gladness, and to express
that glndness it takes nil the rivers of pleas
ure, nnd all the thrones ot pomp, and all the
ages ot eternity. It is a joy deeper than all
depth, and higher than all height, and
wi ler thaa all width, nnd vaster than, all im
mensity. Itovertops.it utdnr jir Is, it out
weighs all the anile J splendor an. 1 joy of the
universe. Who can tell what God's Joy Is?
You remember reading the story of a kin?
who on some great day of festivity scat
tered sliver and gold among the people, who
sent valuable presents to his courtiers, but
methinks when a soul comes back God is
so glad that to express His Joy He fling out
new worlds into space, kindles up new suns
and rolls among the white robed anthems of
the redeemed a greater halleluiah, while
with a voioa that reverberates amon,' the
mountains of frankincense and Is eclio I
bank from the everlasting gates He cries,
"This, my son, whs deal and is alive again!"
At the opening of the exposition In New
0 leans I saw a Mexican flutist, and he
played the solo, and then afterward the
I'icrht or ten ban Is of music, accompanied by
the great organ, came in, but the souril ot
ttist one flute ns compare! with all the or
chestra was greater than all the combined
joy of the universe when compared with the
resounding heart of Almighty God.
For ti n years a father went three times a
day to the "depot. His son went oft in ag
gravating clrcUTStnnc.es, but the father said,
"He will ecme back." The strain was too
much, and his mind parte!, and three times
a day the father went. In the early morning
he walciicd the train Its arrival, the step
ping out of the passengers, and th -n the de
paitum vf train At nonn he was there
nvnin, watching the advance of the train,
watching the departure.
At night them again, watching the com
ing, watching the going, tor ten years. Ho
was sure his son would come back. Gol has
been watching and waiting for some of you,
my brothers, ten years, twenty years, thirty
years, forty years, perhaps fl fty years, wait
ing, waiting, watching, watching, and if
this morning the prodigal should cone
home, what a scene of glndness and festivity
and how the great Father's heart would
rejoice at your coming hornet Yon will
foine, some of you, will you not? You will,
you will 1
I notice also that when a prodigal comes
home there is the joy of the ministers ot re
ligion. Ob, It la a grand thing to preach
this gospel I I know there has been a great
deal said about the trials and the hardsnips
of the Christian ministry. I wish somebody
would write a good, rousing book about the
joys ot the Christian ministry. Since I en
tered the profession I have seen more of the
goodness ot God than I will be able to cele
brate in all eternity. I know some boast
about their equilibrium, and they do not
rise into enthusiasm, and they do not break
down with emotion, but I confess to yon
plainly that when I see a man coming to
God nnd giving np his sin I feollnboiy,
mind ami soul a transport. When I soe a
mnn who is bonnd hand and foot In evil
liatlt emancipated, I rejoice over it as
thongh it weru my own emancipation. When.
In our Communion service, such throngs of
young and old stood np at the altars and in
the presence of heaven nnd earth and hell
attested their allegiance to Jesus Christ. I
felt a joy something akin to that which the
apostle describes when he says s "Wh"ther
in the body I cannot tell, or out ot the bo ly
1 cannot tell. God knoweth."
Have not ministers a right to rejoice
when aproligil comes home? Thyb:e,v
the trumpet, and ought they not to be gla I
of the gathering of the host? They pointed
tothe lull supply, andougbt they not to re
joice when souls pant as the hart for the
water brooks? They came forth saying,
"All things are now ready. Ought they
not rejoice when the pro llgal sits down nt
the bnnquet?
Life insurance men will all tell yon that
ministers of religion as a class live longer
than any other. It Is confirmed by the
statistics of all those who calculate upon
human longevity. Why is It? Tuer
Is more draft upon the nervous system
than In any other profession, and
their toil Is most exhausting. I have
seen ministers kept on miserable sti
pends by parsimonious congregations
who wondered at the dullness of the sermon,
when the men of God were perplexed almost
to death by questions of livelihood and had
not enough nutritious food to keep any Are
In their temperament. No fuel, no fire. 1
have sometimes seen the Inside of the lifeof
many ot the American olergymen never ac
cepting their hospitality because they can
not afford it but I have seen them struggle
on with salaries of 4500 and $600 a year, the
average less than that, their struggle well
depicted by the Western missionary w'io
says in a letter : "Thank you for ycur last
remittance. Until It came we bad not any
meat In our house for one year, and all last
winter, although It was a severe winter, our
children wore their summer clothes."
And these men of God I find In dlffr'-nt
parts of the land, struggling against annoy
ances and exasperations Innumerable, no-.ao
of them trees Alter week entertaining agenot
who have maps to sll nnd submitting them
selves to all styles ot nnnoynnoes, and yet
without complaint and cheerful ot soul.
How do you account for the fact thnt these
life insurance men tell n that ministers as a
class live longer than any others? It is be
cause of the joy of their work, tho joy of the
harvest field, the joy of greeting prodigals
home lo their Father's house.
We are in sympathy with all innocsnt
hilarities. We can enjoy a hearty "song, an I
w can be merry with the merriest, but those
of ns who have toiled In the service ar t
ready to testify all these joys are tame com
pared with the satisfaction of seeing men
enter tho kingdom of God. The great erai
of every minister are the outpourings of the
Holy Ghost, and I thank God I have s n
twf nty of them. Thank God, thank God I
I notice also when the prodigal comes
back all earnest Christians rejoice. If you
stood on a promontory, and there wasa hur
ricane at sea. and it was blowing toward the
shore, and a vessel crashed Into the rocks,
and yon saw paople get ashore In the lite
boats, nnd the very lait man got on the rocks
In safety, you could not control yonr Joy.
And It is a glad time when the church of Gol
sees men who are tossed on the ocean of their
sins plant their feet on the rock Christ Jeeus.
When prodigals come home, just hear
those Christians sing I It is not a dull tune
you hear at such tmes. Just hear those
Christ innfTp ray I It is not astereotyped sup
plication we have heard over and over for
twenty years, but a puttingof the ease in the
bands of God with an Importunate pleading.
Men never pray at great length unless thsy
have nothing to iy, and Jheif hearts are
hard and cold. All tlrTTrayers la the Blfclt
that were answered were short prayer .
God be merciful to me. a sinner." "Lord,
that I may receive my sight.
"Lord, save me or I perish. The longest
prayer, Solomon's prayer at the dedication
of the temple, leje than eight minute in
length, according to the ordinary rate ol
enunciation. And jnst hear them pray now
that the prodigals are coming home. Jnst
see them shake hands. No putting forth of
the four tips of the Angers In a normal way,
but a hearty grasp, where the muscles of the
heart seem to cllnoh the fingers of one hand
around the other hand. And then see those
Christian faoes, how illumined they are. And
see thnt old man get np and with the samO
voice thnt he sang fifty years ago In the old
country meeting house say, "Now, Lord,
lett est Thou Tby servant depart in peace, fo:
mine eyes have eeen Tby salvation." Therf
was a man of Keith who was hurled ints'
prison In time ot persecution, and one en
he got oft his shaokles, and be came and
stood by the prison door, and when thj
Jailer was opening the door with one stroll
he struck down the man who had Incarcera
ted him.
Passing along the streets of London, 1
wondered where his family was. He dfJ
not dare to ask lest be excite suspicion, but
passing along a little way from the prison he
saw a Keith tankard, a cup that belonged to
the family from generation to generation.
He saw it in a window. His family, hoping
that some day be would get clear, came and
lived as nenr as they could to the prlsou
house, and they set that Keith tankard La
the window, hoping he would see It, and he
came along and saw It, and knocked at the
door, and went tn, and the long absont fam
ily were all together again. On, If rot
would start for the kingdom of Go 1 to-dajt
I think some of you would find nenrly a.
your friends and nearly all your families,
around the holy tankard of the holy com
munion fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters,
around thnt sacred tankard which cotra
memorntes the love of Jesus Christ our Lord)
Oh, it will be a great communion day when
your whole family sits around the sacred
tankard! One on earth, one in henvon.
Once more I remark that when the proa
Ignl gets bnck the Inhabitants of heaven
keep festival. I am v:ry certain of It. It
you have never seen a tolegraphlo onart,you
havo no idea bow many cities are connected
tog-tlier and how ni.my lands. N rly all
the neighborhoods of the earth seem retlon
late ', nnd news files from city to city and
from continent to continent. But more rap
idly go t.ls tilings from earth to heaven,
and when a prodigal returns it Is annocnoed
before the throne of God.
And It these souls to-day should enter the
kingdom tiiere would be some one In ths
heavenly kingdom to say, "That's my
father," "That's my mother "That's my
ion." "Thn's my daughter," "That's my
friend." "That's the one I used to pray for,
"That's fas one for whom I wept so many
tears," and one soul would say, "Hosauna I
ind another soul would say, "Halleluiah I"
Pleased w;ta tha news, the saint? bjlof
In sotigi their tougje? employ.
B"yond the skies the tiding) go.
And heaven is Oiled with Joy.
Nor angels enn their joy contain,
But kindle with new fire.
The sinner lost is found, they sin?.
And strike the soun ling lyre.
At the banqnet of Luculins sat Cicero, tt".
orator. At the Macedonian festival sat
Philip, tho couqiioror. At the Grecian ban
quet sat Socrates, the philosopher, but nt
our Father's table sit all thi resurno I pro il
gals, more than conquerors. The taV.e Is so
wide its leaves re.io'i nroa S" is sn I a"ross
lands. Its i;U"8ts nra t le re letm l of the
earth and the glorifle I of heaven. Tus nn
of Go l's forgiven "ss on eviry haul, tie
robe of a Saviour's righteousness ndroop
from every shoulder. The wine that gloirs
In the oups Is from the bowls of 10,000 saora
ments. Let all the redeemed of earth and
all the glorified of heaven arise, and with a
glenming chalice drink to the r 'turn of a
thousind proligalg. Sinr, s'ov, sinul
"Worthy Is the Li:ni that wis sla'u to re-
OT10 bl'Oiiui tan -1 .hu n 1 ho" 1 T Rllrf7
elorv and Dower, world without end 1"
TH Z TWO BOYS.
rhincc Wcro Evidently Not "Evened IV
Between Them.
A lady accompanied by hor son, a
lad of about 12 years, was riding In a
street car up-town the other day. The
voufig gentleman had on what was
svideutlv his tlist suit of "grown-up"
clothes. His shirt, collar, tie, and
scarf pin were immaculate. His
suit was evidently ma le by a good
tailor, aud his fault'ess kid gloves
were ot the latest shade. He was
well pleased with himself and his
mamma was well i 'eased with him.
At Forty-second treet a uewsboy
came on the cars carrying his evening
papers He was rather more wretched
looking than the average newsboy.
Ilia autre consisted solely of a very
ragged shirt and an equally ragged
pair of trousers, which were held on
by a strit) of dirty cotton cloth which
served for a suspender. He was hat
less and shoeless. . The most remark
lble thin.; about this newsboy was
that his face and hands were clean.
The boy in ths good clothes bought a
paper. He immediately began to
read it as the men do while he ab
sently held out his cloved band for
the change.
While the newsboy counted the
pennies into the palm of the new kid
ilove he looked his customer over,
not contemptuously, as one might
iinairine, but rather wistfully. Then
he walked slowly out of the car, look
ing back over his shoulder at the
well-dressed boy.
A change of horses was being made,
and the newsboy stopped outside, ol
his window with his papers under his
arms and his hands in his pockets,
still looking at the b:iy In the derby
hatjThe wistful expression deepened
and grew. One could read uion his
face what he was thinking, and a
gentleman who had watched the lit
tie incident sil l with a sigh as tha
car started out:
"Things don't seenvd to be ycrj
well evened up in this world," and
everybody seemed to understand er,
cept the boy, who was still looking
at his paper, and his mother, who
was fondly gazing. JS'ow York
Times.
The Common I.om!.
"Ko, It cannot lie." said the Cos
ton girl coldly t ti c tuner suitor
who had pleaded passionately for hei
affection. "There is no common
bond of interest between us " "Vcu
forget," said the Vale football man.
not without hope, "i hut we ate Lotl
Mue stockings." Kx h:in;e.
Science will probably find a way to
Jtilize in our homes the central heat of
he earth.
Peanut oil is a valuable ing red. out of
toap.
Some people aim so high that their
arrows cnt nothing bnt the air.
We onght to think like great minds
and speak like the common people.
It is bnt a poor eloquence which only
shows that the orator can talk.
The world is all np hill when we
wonld do; all down hill when we suffer.
Destruction is the conseqaenca. nev
er the object, of a great mind.
Most men, until by losing rendered
sager, will buck their opinions by a
wager.
Discontent is the want of self-reliance
t is infirmity of will.
LS AHMED CAP-A-PIE
IVHAT THE UP-TO-DATE FOOT
BALL PLAYER HAS TO WEAR.
Cars, Nose, Eyes, IJmbe and Trmnk Mom
Ba Protected with Robber, Silk, Cottoa
and Steel Player Looks UkssBarlciqu
Knight In Armor.
Ingenious InTentton.
When several years ago the ac
counts of Kugby football matches be
tween the teams of rival Americao
colleges began to earn a
place in the news col
umns alongside of rail,
roa 1 wrecks and boiler
explosions the cartoon
ists of the country made
merry with the mechan
ical appliances designed
to protect from sudden
aid violent death the
athletic young men who
sought fame on the grid
iron. A reproduction 1 1
a knight ot old, clad in
steel and with visor
AEADVTOKi."n.d-.wn, was the best re
cched of many suggestions. A lay
figure on exhibition in the window
of a Chicago sporting and atretic
goods establislirient has, accor ling to
a newspaper of that city, b en
mistaken by many people fur a cari
cature. In fact the formidable-looking
dummy disp'ays noth'n? that is
not in the regular stock of ; " dealers
iu this lice of goods,
'f lie most striking feature of the
eiulpment Is the
"headgear," or
"head harness. It
Is the result ot an
evolution. First,
the rubber mouth
piece, which gives
the Intensely e x-
cited player some
thing to clinch his
teeth on, and there
! K AH MI7FF
by prevent the breaking of the same
bv some sudden shock, was Invented.
Then the nose-uasA was designed by
some one to protect a nasal bone al
ready fractured from further Injury.
Now it is to come Into general us as
a prevent' ve of fl st injury. Then
came the p added guards for the ears,
which seemed to tu;".er a good deal In
the rushes. But previous to this shin
orotectors made of canvas and whale
bone lad leen added
to the quilted can.
vas knickerbockers
(now adopted by
A'W;.A'J baseball tossers) and
the tightly laced
canvas jacket. For
tho protection of tho
PUOBOSCH
TECTOR
piio-abdomen an ingen
ious arrangement of
wire, cotton and chamois skin was
pro uoed to fl:l a long-felt want, and
& roajy ci was found for elastic
caps and supporters for shoulders, el
bows, forearms, kneecaps, ankles and
wrists. An aspiring athlete c'ad In
all of thee extraneous adjuncts to
the football player's outfit wou'd be1
safe from injury by anything short o'
a railroad collision.
The nose n:asks have been wore
more numerously each season. The
elaborate head
gear will be
gr. atly in evi
dence during
this season. It
Is made of light
watch-sp ring
steel, leather
straps with
lamb's wool AS abhominai. SIUEI.D.
facings, and vulcanized rubber. In
general appearance it resembles the
harness worn several years ago by a
dime museum freak the man with a
broken neck. A wide band of leather,
with the lambskin next to the flesh,
passes acro-s the forehc.id to the rear
ef the head. A center strap, Mtui
arly constructed, passes tack of .he
head. From the encircling band are
wide padded straps, which encompass
the ears in horseshoe shape and ex
tend well forward to the cheeks.
Tho rubber nose mask, a stiff affair
extending over the mouth and to the
chin line, is attached to the forehead
st up and the cheek
pieces Four little
slots in its widest part
permit breathing
The whole harnes is
held securely in place
by elastic bands under
the chin and at the
back of the head and
neck by elastic bands
and bu kles.
A team equipped
with these unbeautl
f ul arran g e m e n t a
3
4111011
a snis saver, uiigub easily oe mis
taken for a crew of submarine divert
or for a band ot gnomes escaped from
a Christmas lantomlme. The cycl
peer so emnly through the lamb's
Tne foot-ball bhob.
wool goggles, and a mere patch of the
cheeks is presented to view. Yet it
Is questionable whether this harness
In its very construction Is nut after
all a temptation for a good, safe
grasp by an adversary, wltb the sub
sequent churning of the bead of the
wearer until the surrounding turf
will look as If pigs had been rooting
there for potatoes. The gearing looks
odd just now, but so did base-ball
catchers' masks and body-shields
when first introduced. The pioneers
were unmercifully guyed. To-day a
ca .tlous club manager will not pe
wit his players to dispense with the
inrnTd nafWnsirrt. On th" fnt-
ball field the headgearing will on.y
be worn by the "tacklers" and "rush-
era," for obvious reasons.
DAD'S STRUCK ILE."
A. Famous Expression Recalled by a Back
woodsman. Death.
There died a few days ago In the
back woods of Venango County a
ban through whom something over
thirty years ago a catch phrase was
added to the vocabulary of the day,
which became the text for humorists,
topg writers, aud even playwrights.
fVv
His name was Leander Jenkins. Tie
lived near Franklin, Fa., in the early
years of the oil excitement, and was
a sort of man of all work. A black
smith named Evans lived cn French
Creek, and he had a plump and rosy
daughter named Susie. Jenkins fell
in love with Susie and she with
him and they became engaged to be
married.
At that time large oil wells were
being struck on Oil Creek, some miles
alove Franklin, and everybody's
head was full of tho matter. There
was a well of water in Blacksmith
Evans' yard, and one day, during tho
early oil excitement, the water in it
was found to be strongly Impregnated
with petroleum. The blacksmith at
once made up his u nd that thero
was oil on his property and concluded
to drill a well. An engine to do the,
drilling was out of the question, an I
he attach' d h s drill to the end of a
spring pole and started in ts "kick"
the well down. Evanj worked at his
well only w hen he wa- not busy in hisj
shop. If the e was a mule to bei
thod, he dropped his drill and earne 1
his i!5 ceuts a shoe by shoeing tho
mule. In that way he worked at his
well for several months, until at the
depth of seventy-three feet he stt ac's.
oil. The oil wasn't at all like the oil
they were rinding on (111 Creek. Ex
perts visited his well and p oaounced
its product lubricating oil of the
finest quality. Evans, utilizing his
spring pole as a pumping engine,
kicked twenty barrels of oil a day
from his well, and It sold at S.'JO a
barrel. The demand for it was so
great that the supply cuu'd not keep
up with It. Then Evans deepened his
well a little, and it rest onded with a
yield of 200 barrels a day. An olfer
of $500,000 in cash forone-ha f inter
est In the well was made to him, but
he refused it. On the Saturday of
one week, by hard work, he made $5
In his blacksmith shop. Two weeks
later Evans' Income was$t,000 a day.
It was on the secend day after tha
blacksmith's well beyan to yield iti
twenty barrels that Leander Jenkins
went to make his weekly call ori
Susie. He was elated, but Susie m -t
him coldly.
"Lee," said she, "you'll liave to git
X dou't want you."
"How so. Susie?" said Leander.
"'Cause dad's struck He."
And "Lee" hal to "get" fuses
pat remark soon spread a'l through
the region and nil over the country,
and it was the popular phrase 10114
aft?r the early oil excitement had,
died away. Evans made an Immen -oj
fortune out of his well, but lost it
nearly all, like hosts of others, 11,
subsequent speculations In oil. Susies
was only 16, and her father cut he
away to be educated. She returnci
home in three years, a beautiful ancij
accomplished girl, and Is now tho
wife of a rich ranchman In New Mex
ico. And Leanf!er .! nkins died tho
other day, a backwoods teamster, not
more than four miles from the spot
where he met his fate be: aujo "Dad
Had struck He."
Anecdotes of It'smarck.
Bismarck was a student at Gottin-.
gee In 1832 and 1833, where bis skilli
In fence won for him the surname;
"Achilles the Invulnerable." In threo
terms he fought twenty duels and re
ceived only a single wound, of which
the scar on his lower jaw near the ll.
Is still perceptible; but as this w is
caused by his adversary's blade Hying
from the hilt, it was contrary to thj
code, so that his reputation foritnui
nerabillty remained technically un
impaired. Indeed, the university
authorities forb;:de him to fl;;ht cer
tain projected duels, on pain of ex
pulsion; and a month later he was
sentenced to three days' Incarceration
for a like offense. His first duel was
with an Englishman, who had spoken
in derision of the many petty states
of Germany. With an American stu
dent he made a bet that Germany
would be politically united in twenty
years. The wager was twenty-five
bottles of champagne, to be drunk in
the country of the winner. After
the lapse of this score of years, in
13."3, Bismarck was preparing to
cross the sea in order to pay the bet,
when be learned that the American
had died, and adds: "Tho name he
bore did not presate a long life
"oflln."
She Wasn't a Tool.
Dr. Guthrie once gave an excellent
illustration of the regard in which
the Sabbath Is held by the Scottish
people. When he was visiting in
Koss-shlre, Sir Kenneth Mackenzlo
directed his attention to a servant
girl, who was not only scrupulous,
but logical in her practice. Slio
astonished her master, one of Sir
Kenneth's tenants, by refusing to
feed the cows on the S.i'ibath. Mjj
was ready to milk, but would by no
means feed them and her deftnso
shows that though a fanatic she wa
not a fool.
"The cows," she said, drawing a
nice metaphysical distinction that
would have done honor to a casuist
"the cows canna milk themsels, so to
milk them is a clear work o' necessity
an' mercy; but let them ont to tho
fields an' they'll feed themsels, I'll,
nrrant"
Some Mistake.
Patient 1 want to thank you foi
that last prescription you gave rue,'
It was wonderful. It cured me iu
two days. Doctor (suspiciously)
Whe e did you get it filled? New
'fork World.
A Summary.
"I wonder what kind of people
live In Mars?" said the philosophical
g rl. "They're out of sight," replied
the slanirful and confident young
man. Washington Star.
No Itanger.
Doctor In order to effect a cure
Jou will have to undergo a surgical
operation. Patient Is it really
dangerous? Doctor No danger; you
will recover, without a doubt. Pa
tient But I have understood In an
operation of that character only one
recovers In every 10,000. Doctor I
know, but 9,i99 have already died;
you are the 10,000th one, you will
surely re.over. Truth.
Acting on Ifer Belter.
Do you believe in the emancipa
Hon of woman?" demanded a Boston
dame of a western woman. "Yes,
Indeed," ren led the latter, "l'vo
been divorced five times already.
Judge-