THE CONSTITUTION THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OP THE LAWS.
A. F. BOHWEIER.
MIFFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. AUGUST I. 1894
NO. 33.
VOL. XLVIII.
Kditer amd PluuiOtw.
REV. BB. MM.
THE BUOUXLYN DIVINE'S SUN
DAY SERMON.
Subject: 'jMuz'httr
Tit : "Thin was our mouth flllnd with
liuibter." Psalm cxxvl., 2. "H thnt Kit
ten in tba heavens ahull lauih." Psalai
II., 4.
Thirly-eltcht times does the Bible make
rnferenes to this conlliiuration of the fea
tures nnl quiet expulsion of breath which
we call Inuchti-r. Sometimes it Is born ol
the sunshine an.l sometimes the midnight.
Sometimes it stirs the sympithy of angels
and sometimes the carthlnntilinn of devils.
All healthy people lnn-b. Whether it
jeu-oes the I.nr-1 or iltsplis-i3 nim, that de-pen-ls
upon when we lauh an! at what we
Inuzh. My thome to-day Is the Inushter of
the Bible mmelv. Snnih's Inntrh, or that of
skppticiHm ; Davi-1 s lunch, or that of spirit
ual exultation ; the fool's laush, or that oJ
sinful merriment ! fio l's laugh, or that of
Jn3aite conleinn-ttlon ; heaven's laugh, or
thnt of eternal triumph.
Reene, an orienrnl tent. The occupants,
ol;l Abraham an-1 Fnrah, perhaps wrinkled
an 1 decrepit. Their t!iree jfuts are thr"e
bd.1s, the Lord AlmiCtr ono of them. Ii
return for the hospit: lit j- (flown by the old
poople Cn 1 promises Sarah that she shall
lcox') fhe. anPMnro of tg Lorl Jesns
Christ. S:irah laa-'T" in th faae of Qod,
She does not belie- it. She is affrighted at
. whnt she has don". Bho denies it. Khe
pnv-", "I did not laugh ." Then God retorted!
with nn emphasis that silenee 1 all disputai
uon. -ijiit tnoii iiinst lm;x My mends,
tne laugd or sKepticism In all ages is oni
the eclio of Baran's Innghter. God says II'
will accomplish a thing, and men say it can
cotue none. A great multltudo laugh nt th
miraeles. lfhey siy'hpy are contrary to th
laws of nature. What is a law of nature'
it isooi a vrny or doing it tnlng you or
dinarily crofts a river at one ferry- To-mor
row you change for one day. and you g
across another ferry, l'ou miid-J the rule
Have you not the right to ehaogi it? To-
ordinarily come In at that door oi the church
Suppose th:it next Sabbath yoa come in at
me other uoor It Is a habit you have. Hav.
yon not a nsnt to change vour habits
law of nature Ood's hni.it His way o
not a right to change It at any time He wont
to change It? J
Ala4 for f a .folly of thon3 who laugh nt
God whan He ssys, "I will do a thing."
they responding-. "You cau't doit." Ool
anys that the Bible is true it is nil true.
Bishop Colenso langhs. Her -crc .Sy -n-.-ir
laughs, Stuart .Mill lauglis, r-it G.-r.n n
unlverittles laufh, Harvard l iujrds softiy.
A great many of the Ir.iruii institutions,
With long rows of profes-suM s-nt-jdouthe
fence between Chrlstlaiiltv nnl lnttlelity,
Isu-h soltiy. They say, "We didn't laugh."
That W-13 Sarah's trlci. Cod thun lr-; from
the heaveiis. "Eat thoi d! 1st Hugh !" Tin
Kardea of E1c;n wis only a tahM. Tjmm
uev-T was any nr'i built, or If it wns 1-uHt il
was too ginnll to h'lvo two of every kin 1.
The pillar of fire by night ou!v tha
northern lights, the tea plagnc ot Egypt
only a brilliant specimen of lugglory. The
sea pnrfe-1 because tho wln-1 blow violently n
great while from one direction. Tha sun
and moon did not put themselves out o! the
way for Joa'min. Jacob's ladder wis only
horizontal and pletun'srjuo clouds. The do
stroylnr angel s:n!tlug the firstborn in
Egypt was only cholor Infantum b-com'
epidemic. Th. gullet of the whale, by
positive me!iRurem'iif, too small to swallow
a propliot. Tho story of the immaoulaM
cobc p;ion a shock to all decency. The
lame, tim tinub, theblinl, the halt, enrod
by mere human f urgery. The resurrection
of Ci:ri:-ls frton.l only a beautiful tableau,
Chrit nnl Lnzirns and Mary and Martha
soling their parrs well. My frien Is, them
U not a doctrine or statement oftloTs holy
word that has not been dsri lel by tha
kepticis-.n of the clay.
I tnko up this book of King Jaaies's trnns-j
latlon. I consider It a perfect Bible, bu(
here arc skeptics who want It torn to pieces,'
And cow, with this Bible In my hand, lei
me feir out all thoso portions which th
ikfpiieiHut of this dny demands shall be torn
out. What shall go first? "Well," says som
ono In the audience, 'tafce out nil that abon
the creation nn 1 alcut the first settlement
o! the worM." Away goes G.mesls. "Xow,''
ays sone one, "take out nil that about the
miraculous gul lance of the children of Israel
In tire wlldorn-ss." Away goes Exodus,
"Sow," savs some ono else in tho ru Heme,
"tar-re. are things In Deuteronomy nnl
Kings that nr not fit to be road." A way igo
Deuteronomy and the Kings. "2Tow," says
some one, "tho book of Job is a fable that
ought to coin out." Away goes the book ol
Job. ''Sow." says some on- "thos-3 pass
ages in tho New Testament which Imply the
divinity ol Jesu Christ oiisjht to com our."
Away ko the Evangelists. "N'ow," gays
Boms one, "the book ot Kevolation how
preposterous 1 It repr'-s.-nts a man with ths
moo a under his feet nn I a sharp sword in
his band." Away gor-s t!io book of Revela
tion. X"w there arc a few plec-'S le!t. Want
shall we do with tnem? "Oh," says Bjmi
man in the audience, "I don't believe a
word In tho Bible from ona end to tho otb-i
er." Well, tt is all gone. Kow you havd
put out the last light for the natious. Now
It is the pitch darkness of otcrnal ml-lnlghtJ
How i'.o yon like It? '
But I think, my friends, we had hotter
keep the Biiile a little longer intact. It has
done pretty well for a good many joarsj
Then thero ore old people who find It a oom
fort to hfive it on the.r laps, and ehtldren,
like the stories in it. Let us keep it for M
curiosity anyhow. If tha Bible Is to b
thrown out of the school and out o( thq
courtroom, 6o that men no more swearby it,
and It Is to be put In a dark corridor Of th-j
city library, the lworan on one sldo and thfj
writings of Confucius on the other, than let
as enoa one keep a copy for himself, for we
might have trouble, nn l we would want to
be under the delusions of Its consolations
and we might die, ami wa would want thi
delusion of the exalted resldenoo .f (lo l'S
rig'it hnnd, which it mentions. Oh, what an
nw -" thing it Is to laugh In God's face and
hU'-l His Bevelatlon bacU at Him I After
nwiilletho day will como whon they will say
th-y did not laugh. Then all tho hyper
criticisms, all the oarloatures and all the
learned sneers In the quarterly reviews wllj
be brought to Judgment, and nmld the rock"
Ingot everything ben-ath nnd nml 1 the
flaming of everything above God will thun-l
der, "But thou didst laugh !"' I think tho
most fascinating laughter nt Ohristlnnlty I
ever rememb 'r was a man in New England.
He made the word of God seem ridiculous,
find he laughed on nt our holy religion until
he came to die, ond then he said . "My Ufa
has been a failure a failure domestically.
I nave no children. A failure socially, for" I
am treated 1m tho streets like a pirate. A
failure professionally because I know bnt one
minister that has adopted my sentiments."
For a quarter of a ceutury he laughed at
Christianity, and ever Since Chrislianity has
been laughing at him. Now, it Is a mean
thing to go Into a man's house and steal his
Roods, but I tell you the most gigantlo bur
glary ever Invented is the proposition to
steal these treasurers of our ho.y religion.
The meanest laughter ever uttered is the
ongh of the skeptic
The nerf Janghter mentioned in the Bible
Is David's laughter, or the expression of
spiritual exultation. "Then was our mouth
filled with laughter." He got very much
down sometimes, but there are other chap
ters where for four or five times hecalls upon
th. people to praise and exult. It was not a
meretwitah of the Hps It was a demonstra
tion that took hold ot his whole physical na
ture. "Then was our mouth tided with
laughter." My friends, this world will never
be converted to God nutil Christians cry lest
and lanfiu li'l 5,n? more. The horrors art
a poor bolt. If people are to be persuaded
to adopt onr holy religion. It will be beenns.
they have made up their minds 4t is a happ3
relation. They don't like a morbid Cr.ris
HanltT. I know there are morbid neple Vha
snjov'a funeral. They come early to seeth'j
friends take leave of the corpse, sn 1 they steal
k rida to the cemetery, but all healthy peonla
we. blirnr better tlisii thVdo lurlnL
Kow, yoa make the roMgion of Christj
tepulohral md hesrsnUk., and yoaj
m&k. tt repulsive. I ry pleat the rose oj
Bharon alone th. eiinrch wallrs and;
eolambln. to e-bvnher over tha church wallj
anil turv a smile on the Hp. and have thq
month Bitot with holy laughter. Thar is;
bo auui la the world. r" '
Pmt nos right to f!M nn nnTrvnmeled glee..
He Is promised evervthlng is to be for th
befct here, nud be Is on the way to a do'.ighrj
wtiloh will take all the processions. with pain
)Mi3lles and. all IUtJBawtaI-JMrp4LftM
foa say. I bar o mah troaM.
yoa more trouble than Paul hod? What does
e say? "Sorrowful, yet alwavs rejotolng.
Poor, ret making maoy riob. Hlng nothr
log, yet posMutng all thlnjts." The merries
Uugh I think I bare ever heard has bwes U
the sickroom of God's dear children. WhetJ
rheoilosiu whs put upon the rack, he suN
krei very Rreat tortwe at the rtr-t. I
Somebody nM nim now he endura ai
at psin on the roc. I! replied : "When
was first put on the r-iec. I suffered agriC
Seal, bat Terr soon a voung mnn in wbltx
Uoot by my side, od with a so'r nnl eom-1
lortnble handkerchief he wipsl the swo
from my brow, and my pilns were relfave-l
tt was a punishment for me to get from they
r;k, because whet t he pain was all gonA
Jie angel was gone." 0 rejolaa erormoral
foa know ho it la In the array an army In
encampment. If to-day news comes that
Jur side has h a defeat; and to-morrow
tnothor portion of the tidings comes, say
big we have had another detent. It demoral-i
ks all th. host. But it the news comes ol
rietory to-day and victory to-morrow thsj
whole army is Impassioned for the contesV
Now, In th. kingdom of oar Lord Jsos
Christ report fewer defeats tell m the vie
lories victory over sin and death and helL
Rejoloe evermore, and agate I say rejotoe. I
tkelieve there is more reUgton in a laug'-l
tbaa In a groan. Anybody can groan, but
to laugh in the midst of banfcthmeot and
persecution and indescribable trial, that re
S Hired a David, a Daniel, a PaBl, a modern
ernine.
The next laughter mentioned In the Bible
that I shall speak of is tha fool's mngMer, ot
me Bxsraestan of sinful mearunenL JMomoa
was Very quick at simile. When he make, a
jomparison, we all catch it. Whet is the
laughter of a fool like? He says. Tt is the
crackling of thorns under a pot." The ket
tle is swung, a bunch of brambles Is put un
der it, and the torch is applied to it, and
Hiere is a great noise, and a big blaze, and a
sputter and a quick extinguishment. Tbea
ft la darker than it was before, fool's laugh
ter. The most miserable thing on earth is a
bad man's fun. There they are ten men in
barroom. They have at borne wives,
xtotbers, daughters. The impure jest starts,
it one corner ot the barroom, and crackle,
irackle, crackle It goes all around. In 50(1
ruch guffaws there is not one Item of happi
jess. They all feel beraeaned If they havf
tny conscience lct. Have nothing to dot
irlth men or women who tell Immoral stories
! have no confidence either in their Cuxls-t
dan character o their morality.
6o all merriment that springs out of the
Selects ot ot hess caricature of a lame foot,
ir a curved spine, or a blind eye, or a dear
nr will be met with the judgment of Gol,
tither upon yoa or npoa your children.
Twenty years ago I knew a man who was
particularly skillful in Imitating the lame
ness of a neighbor. Not long ago a sou of
ihe skillful mimic bad hH leg amputated for
!hn very defect which his father had
slmlcked years before. I do not say it was
I judgment ot God. t leave- yoa to make
roar own Inference. Bo all merrlmont bora
f dissipation, that wiiion starts at the.
yonnter ot the drlnk4ng restaurant or the
vinaglass In the home circle, the mail Him
rim par, tha meaningless Joke, t"'saturnllaa
rlhberUh, the paroxysm ot mirth about noth
ng which yoa sometimes soe In tlte fashion
iMo clabroom or the exquisite parlor nt
trelve o'clock at night, are the crackling of
:horns under a pot. Haoh laughter and saeh
iln end In death. When I wna a lad, a hook
lame oat entitled, "Dow Junior's Patent
Jormons." It made a great gttr, a very wlds
ui;b, all over the oountry, that book did.
tt was a aartcature of the Christian ministry,
md ot the word of Go 1, and of the day oi
u '.gment. Oh, we had a great laugh I The
lommentnry on the whole thing is that the
tuthor of that book died In poverty, shame,
reb-iuehery, kicked oat of society and oarsed
t Almighty Ond. The laughter of suoh
nen is the echo of their own damnation.
The next laughter that I shall mention as
otng In the bible Is the laugh of Go l's oon
lemnation, "He that sltteth la the heavens
ihall lansb." Again, "The Lord will laugrj
tt him." Again, "X will laugh at his calaua
ty." TTlth snob, demonstration will Qo
creet every kind ot great sin and Vlckedt
less. Bat men buld up villainies higher
tad higher. Good men almost pity God bn
vulse He Is so schemed against by men.
Suddenly a pin drops out of the machinery
it wickedness or a seoret is revealed, nnd
lio foundation begins to roak. Finally th
s-ho'.e thing Is demori-ihed. Want Is th4
natter? I will tell you what the matter I.
That crash of ruin is ouiy the reverberation
)t God's laughter. In the money markej
ihere are a great many goo 1 men and a
rreat many fraudulent men. A fraudulent
nan there says, "I mean to have my mil-
Jon." He goes to work rockiest of hon.
sty, and ho gets his first 100,000. H
rets alter awhile bis $200,000. After awhile
ae gets his $500,000. "Now," he says, "J
Have only one mors move to make, and ',
nail nave my minion, ue game
Ills resources. He makes that one Is
rrand move, he fails and hoses all, and h
aos not enough money of his own left to pay
ih. cost ot the ear to his tome. People eun
got understand this spasmodic revulsion.
Some said it was a sudden turn In Erie Hall
ray stock, or In Western Union, or in Illi
nois Central some said one thing and some
mother. They all guessed wrong. I will
loll yoa what It was. "He that sltteth In the
tienvens laughe-L" A man In New York said
he would be the richest man In the city. Hi
left his honest work as a mechanic an I got
Into the city councils some way an t in ten
years stole irl5,00'J,000 from the city govern
ment. Fifloen million dollars I He held the
Le--Tlslalura of the State of New York In tb
grip of his right hand. Suspicions were
sroused, The grand Jury presented Indict
ments. Tho whole lnnd stood aghast. The
man who expected to put half the city in his
vest pocket goes to Blnoltwoll's Island, goel
to Lu Hon street Jail, breaks prison and goet
ncross the sea, is rearrested nn 1 brought
hnclc and again romandel to jail. Why!
"lie that sltteth In the heavens Inugha.1."
Home was a great empire. She had flora ?i
and Yirgll among her poets : she had Augus
tus nnd Constantino among her emperors.
But Tvpst mean the defaced Pantheon, nn I
Ihe Forum turned Into a cattle market, and
the broken walled Coliseum, aad the aroht
teetural skeleton of her great nqueluetsi
WhM was that thunder? "Oh." you say,
"that was tho roar of the battering rami
agnlnst her walls." No. What was thnt
Quiver? "Oh," you snv, "that was the t ram n
nt hostile legion. ' So. The quiver an
'he roar were the outburst of omnipotent
laughter from the defied and Insulted heav
ens. Boms defled;God, an I He laughed her
flown. Thebes deflel Got, and He laughed)
her down. Nineveh defied God, and Ha
laughed her down. Babylon defied God-,
in d He laughed her down. There Is a great
Jtfferenee between Got's laugh and II s
l.nile. His smile Is eternal beatitude. Hi
mailed when David sau , and Miriam dapped
fhe cymbals, and Hannah made garments
lor her son, and Paul preached, an-1 Joba
tindled with upooalyptio vision, and when
my man has anything to do and rio'S It
rell. His smile 1 Why, It is the 13th of My,
:he apple orchards In full bloom ; it Is mortH
xtg breaking on a rippling sea ; it is heaven
It high noon, all the bells beating the mar
riage peal. But His laughter may it nev.r
lall on us 1 It Is a condemnation for our
iln : It is a wasting sway.
We may let the satirist laugh at as, an-1
ill our companions may lau-th at us, and wa
may be made the target for the merriment
of enrth and hel!. trt God forbid that wa
Should ever come to the fulfillment of the
J -rophecy against the rejectors of the troth,
I will Iangh at your calamity." But. my
frlen 's, all of as who reject Christ and the
par-Ion of the gospel must come under that
tremendous bombardment, God wants us
allto repent. He counsels. He coaxes. He
Importunes, nnd He dies for us. He comes
down out of heaven. He puts all the world's
tin on one shoulder. He puts all the world's
sorrow on the other shoulder, nnd then with
that Alp on one side and thnt Himalaya on
fhe other He starts up the hill back of Jem
talem to achieve our salvation. He pats the
palm of His right foot on one lore spike,
and He puts the palm ot His lett
loot on another long spike, and then,
with His hands spotted with His own Woof.
He gesticulates, saying : '-Look, look and
live. With the crimson veil of My sacrifice
I will cover up all your sins : with My dying
groan I will swallow up an your rr "ii-s
Look I Live I" But a thousand of you turn
rour back or that, and then this voice of
' o a tone dlvlnelv ominous,
that sobs like "V simoom through the Bret
shspter ot Proverbs. Because I have
called and ye refused, I have stretohed out
My right hand, and no man regarded, but
ye have set at naught all My counsel and
would none of Myreprooi, I, also, will
laugh at your calamity' Oi, what a laugh
that Is - deep laugh, a long, reverberating
toih.an.ojerwjlelataeuftl!.. .Godjrant
a nir never hear If Bat "In this dar of
merciful visitation yield your heart to Christ,
that yoa may spend all your Ufa on earth
under His smile and escape forever the thun
der of the laugh of God's Indignation,
t The other laaghter mentioned In the
Bible, the only ons I shall speak of. Is
heaven's laughter, or the expression of
eternal triumph. Christ said to His dis
ciples. "Blessed are ve that weep now, for
ve shall langh." That makes me know
"positively that we are not to spend on days
in heaven singing long meter psalms. The
(ormaltstlo and stiff notions of heaven that
fome people have would make me mis shtble.
I am glad to know that tha heaven ot tha
Blbla is not only a plane of holy worship,
Jmt of magnificent sociality. "What," say
you, "will the ringing laugh go around the
Wrcles of tho saved?" I say yes pure
laughter, cheering laughter, holy laughter.
3t will be a laugh of congratulation. When
we meet a friend who has suddenly
come to a fortune, or who has got over
some dir. aioxness, do wa not shake
hands, do we not laugh with him? And
when wa get to heaven and see our friends
there, some of them having come tip oat of
? rreat tribulation, why, we will say to orni of
hem, "Tiia lost time I saw you yon hod been
raftering for six weeks nnder a low intermit
tent ev." or to another we will say t "Yon
for ten years ware limping with the rheu
matism, and yoa were fall ot complaints
whan we saw yoa last. I congratulate yoa
on this eternal recovery." We shall langh.
Yes, wa shall ongrataiate all those who have
come oat of great na animal embus i as. meats
fa this wotMwaiii tfasy ban bstoat mill
jonatraa 1b ttravao. Ye shall langh. It
shall a a langh mi nma -nation, tt is Just
as mtani for as 10 laugh when wa mat a
Mead we have not seea. for ten years as any
thing Is possible to be natural.
uen von meet oar friends from whom wa
hare been parted ten or twenty or thirty
years, will it not be with Infinite congratula
tion? Our perception quickened, our
knowledge improved, we will know each
other at a flash. We will have to talk over
all that has happened since wa have been
separated, the one that has been ten years in
heaven telling as all that has happaned in
khe ten years of his heavenly resldenoa, and
we telling him In return all that has hap
pened during the ten years of his absence
from earth. Ye shall laugh. I think George
Wbitefleld nnd John Wesley will have a
laugh of contempt for their earthly colli
lions, and Toplady and Charles Wesley will
have a laugh ot contempt for their earthly
misunderstandings, and the two farmers
who were in a lawsuit all their days will
have a langh of contempt over their earthly
disturbance about a line fence. Exemption
from all annoyance. Immersion in all glad
ness. Ye shall laugh. Christ says so. Ye
shall laugh. Yes, it will be a laugh of tri
umph. Oh, what a pleasant thing It will be
lo stand on the wall of heaven and look
down at satan and hurl at him deflanca and
-.e him caged and canine 1 and we forever
free from taa eratohes ! Aha I Yes, It will
be a laugh of royal greeting.
Yoa know bow th. Frenchmen cheered
when Kapoleon cams baok from Elba ; yoa
know how the English cheered whan Wel
lington came back from Waterloo ; yoa know
how Americans cheered waen Eoseuth ar
rived firora Hungary , yoa remember how
Rom oheored when Pompey esme back vic
torious over BOO cities. Bvery oheer was a
laugh. Bat, oh, the mightier greeting, the
gladder jiLi ssan, when tha snow whitjv
siry troop of miasm snail go through the
itreota, and, aeoordtng to the Book of Reve
lation, Christ tn the red ooat. the crimson
to&t, on a white hossa, and nil the armies ot
heaven following' Him on white hora-s I Oh,
wha we sae aad hear that cavalcade wt
snail .hear, we shall laagh 1 Does not your
heart beat quickly at the thought ot the
great Jubilee upon which we are soon to en
ter? I pray God that when we get through
with this world and are going out of tt we
may have som. sueh vision as the
dying Christian had when he saw
written all over the olouds in the sky bo
batter "W." and they asked him, standing by
his side, what ho thought that letter "W
meant. "Oh," he said, "that stands for weU
eoans." And so may it be when we quit this
world. W on the .gats, V" on the door
of the mansion. "W" on the throne. Wel
sotnel Wetoome! Welcome I I have
preshed tilts sermon with five prayerful
wishes that yoa might see what a mean
I hang is the mngh of skepticism, what a
bright this is thi laugh ot spiritual exultn
Mon, wa it a hollow tHng is the laugh of sin
ral ui-rnrii- nt, wmU on aw?ul thing is the
laari i cf eondtxnn-Mion, what a radiant, rabi
tund thia is the taagti ot eternal triumph,
Avoid tn 01 ; ehooae the right. Be corn
forte 1. "Blessed are ye that weop now ye
shall liragh ; ye shall laugh."
News in Brief.
(irce';bou! rai.ks nhes. 1 of all
others.
Paper jiqimihi die ti oa a:'e iti i-rocess
of experiment.
Puotngrapucs Lave been taken 500
feet uniler water.
1 )f-crui1 ?r id tho most fatal mo i J
in tba ?ar for nstutuu.
--fntil Mio year ISM the English
kitK's re als eulleil Kiays of France
The il ittcuin of tha p Ies of Jupi
tt-r can be seen lurouvh the telescope.
When suddenly frigLtt nel, lizards
will often drop their tuils ami Fcurry
away. '1 he di.-cardeil member, bouncing
up ami down, attracts the attention of
tlie -ii"-iiiy uuil eimb'es nnd escape to be
effected.
Din longest continued cataleptic
Bleep known to scienc was reported
from tier i eny in 1892, the atieat
bavins: remained uli-oliltely iiuer.uscious
or ft-ur and ii half mouths
An aurora seen from Toronto,
Canadi, last year haa been Ciiieuluted
o be 10( n iU ii l-iIi and -300 miles f i om
nd to ebd.
Ihe world's coal fit Ida clrendy
known aud woiked e-i tain coal enough
to lutt for a thoiiMiud year-.
Kit elrieity has beeu i-do ted for
towing the causl boats oil the tummit
level of the Canal du Bonrgoyne, which
connects the Siene aud Sonne, crossing
in its c urso the divide between the
chant el and the Mediterranean.
T lie new ShefhVId Lul oratory for
the t-cisutific department of lule i!l be
four siori- s hisrli aud bevety-two feet
front by ISO deep, it i to tu the 1 irgest
and best college la'-ontorv in the
country.and will cost $:W,IKX).
A (Sermon officer has in vetted a
motrr in which a line stream of coal dust
is utilized lo drive a piMoo by explosion
in the time manner as the gas in the
gas engine.
It is suid of the fur pea' cf Alaska
that there is no known animal on land or
water which can take lrpher hyical
rank or wh'cb exhibits a lrjrher order
of instinct.
From 1784 lo 178 f.ie tiyle of hair
dressing in Paris changed seventeen
times, and went from the extreme o
chort curls and a siull oi.) t a hat
thiee feet broad.
rumpboit-i r.w3 tli?ir name to
Paniphelu, a Greek lady, who left be
hind her a number of. pcrap book
coutaibion notes, recipes, anecdotes
and memoranda.
All plants have l criods of eclivity
and iet Some are uctive in the dsy
timu and s'eep at night; others repese
during the daylight hours and are
rwnke at night,
In tetds lust year iu tho German town
of Dessau it was shown that cooking by
wood a. d coal costs a little more than
twice that done with gas.
There are in England and Wales
787,545 public paupers that is, per
socs who are either inmates of the alms
bouses or who receive outdoor assistance.
WHAT IS BETOlfB.
Tho bine sky o&4 the tine lake
Meet together
In sonny weather,
But what, oh ! what is beyond?
I know this side the horizon line,
With its purple hillsides, broad and fins ;
But the country beyond, has it lakes ilk
ours,
And trees of grandeur, and fruits and flow
ers? That, oh ! what is beyond?
The gray sky and the gray laka
Meet together
In sombre weather,
Cut what, oh ! what Is beyond?
I know these homes, with their loves and
woes,
Their burled hopes from which patience
grows;
, a . jt .
Wh.t oh ! -hit I. hevonH?
The black sky and the black lake
Meet together
In stormy weather,
But what, oh ! what is beyond?
I know the currents that thrill the earth,
And flash the sky at the thunder's birth ;
Sut what of the circuit for souls between,
And the central power in the Great Unseen)
What, oh ! what is beyond?
yona
-Sarah K. Bolton. In New York
i independent.
I
TTT, " T
CUE COWBOYS' COLLECTION
T was Sunday. The
little church bell
had summoned the
congregation to
-morning service,
though a few lat
comers were still
hurrying toward
the consecrated
spot. The Sabbath
was observed and
respected by all the
residents of the
town, excepting Jan
Gebhardt This
citizen, despite the
ucuuiuum duia utiio --.v
Dleadincs and nersuasions of the little
parson and different members of the
church, rofused to close his saloon on
Sundav, for upon this day he usually
realized his biggest profits.
Many laborers from the surrounding
ranches, farms and mines spent theii
Sabbaths and week's wages at Geb
hardt's tavern, and the passing traveler
was sure to rest there over night if he
arrived on Sunday, and this was, ol
course, another source of revenue foi
the proprietor. This morning Jan was
standing at the door, placidly smoking
his pipe and looking away toward t'i
mountains with a self-satisfied expres
sion. The beauty of the landscape be
fore him might have awakened ihe soul
of a- poet or an artist, but Jan was not
of a sensitive, emotional disposition.
The scene presented to his phlegmatic
mind simply earth, vegetation and air.
while in tho clear, propitious weather
ile discerned alone tho promiso
of ex
ended patronage.
As he stood thus, wrapped in pleas
ant anticipations, he heard a faint, low, '
iteady rumbling as if of distant thun-:
der. He looked up quickly. There
were no clouds in the sky.
What
eould it mean ? It was gradually be
soming louder and more distinct, and
seemed to issue from a large gulch ot
pass to the west. Jan took the pipe
from his mouth and listened. Suddenly
shout, accompanied by the report ol
It number of revolvers, startled the
echoes far and near, and thero issued
from the gulch a black mass which
shortly resolved itself into a body oi j
; j x l I
aorsemeu uearuig uuu iowuxu vuo
town. Jan watched them lazily,
thinking of the money he would be able
Ko realize from them.
Nearer and nearer sounded the clat
:ering of the horses' hoofs, until Jan
eonM Rlmnst rienr Pwh nenarato foot-
fall, and presently they slowed and
ttopped outside his door. Smiling and
ducking his head, he wished tho visi
tors good morning and invited them m,
They accepted his invitation, and were ;
nn .Innrlin .nil nittiniv aKnllt thaliai-
DWU DIDUUiU nuu Dl,iug uisuv w
room, while the obsequious Jan served
them with drink. One of them, a burly
fellow, asked him for a certain kind ol
liquor, and after the keeper of the tav
ern had taken it from the sholf and
turned about, his smile was suddenly
transformed to a look of horror, for he
found several revolvers levelled at him.
"Mein chenelmens, fhat you goin' to
do?" cried the affrighted man.
"Dutchy," said the burly foUow,
"don't you know you're desecratin' the
best day in the week by keepin' yer sa
loon open?"
"Veil, how can, I helps it, chenel
mens? It's the pest day for pcesi
less." "Business or no business, old man,
you've got to reform. We're tho Sal
vation Army, we are, and don't you for
get it."
"Chenelmens, chenelmens, don't do
noddings to me," cried Jan, wringing
his hands in anguish, as he looked down
the bright barrels of half a dozen re
volvers.
"Fetch down them bottles from that
half," Bhouted tho cowboy. ) be th' ono to' do th' charity act 'Sidcs a pjece cf flannel, which dip in the
The trembling Jan obeyed. "Now, I he's a lady's man, on' a talker from vater Bna squeeze nearly dry; then
then, " said this strange avenging angel, j way back. " tflko gmd, whiting as wiU adhere to
"set 'em up across th room ; every j BiUy made some remonstrances, but it appiyjnr it to the painted surface,
one's a buU's eye." was finaUy prevailed upon to undertake v'ten a ntne robbing wiU instantly re
Jan hesitated, but the revolvers com-! the commission, and, hanging his six movo Bny dirt and grease, after which
pellcd obedience. Before tho caval- shooter aad belt on tho fence, ho -ash the part with clean water, rub
cade moved on he hod been obliged to knocked at the door. A feeble voice tin jt fa- jth soft chamois. Paint
ace the destruction of a large part of
his wares, and the unfortunate man woa
left standing amid a confusion of broken
kegs, neekless bottles and pools of
wines and liquors, wringing his hands!
and celling down maledictions upon his'
persecutors, who wero now continuing
their mad career, down tho 6 tree t.
The cowboys soon camo in Eight of
tho little church, standing in a 1st sur
rounded by a rough pieket fence, whila
a few small poplar trews Seemed endea
voring to cast a little shade about the
building. Tho sweet melody of one of
the old hymns floated out to then, and
they unconsciously paused and llstonod,
ana when it ceased rodo on to the gate-
ay.
"Sovr for some fun, boys," said Billy.
graceful, lit no young man with mi
chieTous brown cyso, as he reigned up
Ui horse; "you fellows just foUow Spot
ed wc'U eeo ton-ething interesting."
Epot, who had been spokesman at thi
saloon, urged his Lorso forward aad
thny slowiy rode into tho yard and ta
'hi Ioor of the church.
Tho cenpTegntion wero Lneeliag ia
yer, wLila tVe pastor, ptvndisg In
e center of the platform. h(a ami
r-;
the
apnztoo, bm foee wrrtfcjng ia toe
Bony up ana aown, seeping tune wiui
tbe sfcouts he emitted, which were snp ,
posed to be the prayers for the saJva,
tion of tho souls of his ainXul brethren
-as least so uiy surmieeo, as na
; As the pastor was gathering for the
culmination of his prayer, the leadei
turned to his companions, and said in
an undertone, "Xow, then," and their
horses' hoofs resounded on the wooden
floor of the church. The startled con
pragation, rising with one accord, be
held Spot, the cowboy, riding solemn
ly up the aisle, followed by bis com'
pan ions.
"Don't be alarmed, ladies 'n gentle
men. We're only come t' join in the
cervices, an' 'ill trouble you t' ait still
they're over," said Spot, with a smile
manufactured for the occasion, as the
people seemed inclined to depart rather
precipitously,
beeing themselves thua
of the cowboys, they
8 the 1""
were obliged to resume their seats, al
most overcome by fear and apprehen
sion. "An as fer you, parson, " said ?fi
pointing his revolver at tho trembling
man, "don't stand there enivelin'J
You're a purty kind er shepherd 1 I'll
bet there ain't one in th' flock as big a
coward as von, 'n yet you think yon
in b off th' Lor(i by Bhdtin.' V
Ureteniiin f gonig a heap better 'n
I - w L-
?-trn. I'U give you sompin' f do in
I ain't had no one to pray fei
i pie since I was a little kid at my mazn
j ray's knee. You jis' git down on yei
(knees n pray ier me now.
I The parson hesitated, threw up hit
jhnnds, and roUed up his eyes in depre-
cution.
I
"There, r arson, dont take on like a
1UU1 UUUUI 11, IUI ili UUV11 1, UUEUIiebS,
or I'U give you a lift t' a better land, a
tier vice y'd no doubt thank me fer."
The little man did not seem quite
iready to depart for a better land, so
jrovered by Spot's revolver, he was ob
liged to sink on his tcces and begin
liis prayer.
r , l j i a x, ,
j "Jord," he prayed, in a quavering
Voice, "O Lord forgive and protect
i
this poor sinner
: "oeo here, now I don't want you
pvin th' Lord no mistaken impression
bout me. Yon tell Him about th'
ibenefit I am t' this yero world." Ano
again tho revolver figured as a per-
isuader, nnd tho little parson changed
(the nature of his praver.
"He's giving Spot quite a 'send
joC,' " said BiUy iu an undertone to one
iof his companions, "we're not in it.
The parson prayed for some time,
then prepared to arise.
I "That ain't enough," shouted Spot,
Nourishing tho revolver ; "I'U be
ihanged ef I'm not goia' t' have enough
jprayin' t' Inst me a week, and then
mere's all these boys ain't bcen prayed
jfor yet."
I So the parson resumed his prayer.
Several times he attempted to finisH
and arise, but every time Spot com-
pulled him to return to his pmypr.
At last, when he was out of . breath,
ktiff in every joint and 6ick with
jfright, Spot condescendingly eaid:
"There, little 'un, that's enough. And
now we're goin' t' take up a kerlection.
Boys, take yer hats 'roun,' 'n don't
' ?et ttny RuUty man escape."
xwo oi me Doys, eacn noiumg a nat
in one hand, a revolver in the other,
passed about the church compelling
every member of tho terrified congre
gation to give some contribution.
Those who had no money were obliged
to give a watch or a ring, or some
other jewel or trinket they might have
about them, and finally it was aU
brought to Spot, who turned the col
lection over to liiUy.
"An frien's," said Spot, "we're
much obliged t' you fer all this yere
rtuff, 'n tho parson fer his prayers.
We only wenter ask one thing more o'
vou. We niu't no low down thieves.
We ain t tiiivin up this yere money n
; gewgaws ier ourselves. We're going t
! pod with 'em. Now we'U trouble you
t' teU us who's th' most
deservin'
charity in this yer town."
"The widow!" said several voices in
chorus.
"And who might bo the widder?
There ken be raoro'n one widder in a
town." What's yer widder's name ?"
Nobody seemed to know, but ho was
nl .1 vlmra c1,a 1 i .7 Anil tTiA tf-nVfll-
cade of cowboys turned their horses
around, and passed from the church
into the bright sunlight.
They wended their way down tha
road, laughing boisterously over their
recent escapade, and soon found them.'
selves in tho little lane leading to tha
widow.
. 1.
The horses had been trotting brisk-
ly, but upon Hearing the little, half
tho sage brush and wUd flowers, their
pace slackened, and they finally came
o a standstiU before the broken gate.
"Whoso a-goin' t' take the money 'n'
stuff in t the widder?" asked one ol
the boys. They all looked at each
other in some perplexity.
'Pears t' Spot ourter," said another,
"he's bin headin' th gang aU day."
j : p
"It was Billy got up th fun, said
Spot, "so 'cordin' t' my mia'he ourter,
mid:
"Come in,
Pushing the door
open, ne ttooa irresolute upon mo
threshold. Tho light in the room was
dim, and he could - indistinctly seo a
figure streched; on a low couch in tho
farther corner.
"WU1 ycu come in, cir ?" caid tho .
eamo feeble, gentlo voice ; then as
BiUy stepped in with ccmo embnrraES- '
mcnt she continued, "What is your cr- 1
rand, sir?"
He tried to think of a means ty
which ho could delicately and accept
ably deliver his message of charity, but
finding none he was obliged to make
known Lis errand as simply as possible,;
trusting to tho inspiration of the mo
ment to help him out. ; i
"You are a widow, are you not?" hd
Rhl;pd. . 1
- . 1 a ,
sho replied, raising herst-il
"Yes,
hastily cn ono eUiow as he spoke.
"You must forgive a stranger
madam, for coming to you with so lit tlt
ceremony and taking such a question,
but the truth is, I wo " j
"TeU na, sir," Ehe interrupted, "do '
you live in this part of the country?
Are yon a cowboy from one of the
ear jiaeuso me x am pariiy
k COwboy."
r..How bcen ouowiag
,1 How long have you
C fa Colorado? Ton were not born
n the West j j.
in the west, X know, lor yon have
neither the speech nor manners of the
people. wnere uiu you come iroiui
JTell me, I implore you."
Billy looked at the f osnn dimly out
lined before him in blank, astonisb,
knent. I "Why, madam, I'm perfectly will
ting to tell you. My home was il
Sew Haven, Conn., Ood bless it, anf" 1
same West eight years ego. Since
then I have met with many varied ex
periences. I've tasted the sweetness
ot prosperity and the bitterness of ad
versity. About a year ago I had a
comfortable sum of money and was
preparing to return to tho East, when
by an unhappy speculation Host it all;
then I drifted into my present situa
tion. But I mean to accomplish some
thing before I go home again to mj
dear old mother." There was a charm
ng youthful ring of hopefulness in hit
roice which his eight years of tryinf
experiences had failed to obliterate.
The widow dropped back on he;
couch and was perfectly still.
"But I am forgetting my errand,"
continued Billy. "My friends and
have brought yott a little offering
Which I hope will be acceptable. ij
vnica A uops wiu us uccepiauio. a
Lhould be, for it is a present from thi
ood church-members of the village
who beg you will accept it with thei'
compliments.
He advanced to the side of the couch
land bent down to place the contents ol
hia hat in her lap. As he did so n ray
bf light stole througa tho half-closed
blinds and feU upon the woman's face.
"My Ood !" He started back paler
than his companion, while the hal
dropped heavily to the floor. The
next moment ho was kneeling beside
the couch clasping tho wasted form in
his strong young arms, his fram
shaken by violent sobs.
"WiUys, dear WiUys, I have been
seeking you nil over the West for the
last five years. Thank God, oh, thank
Him a thousand times that I havr
found you at last."
In the meantime his companions out
side were becoming impatient.
"Wonder what's keexjin' th' feller so
long, " said one of them ; "ho could a
frave the widder th' money a hundred
times over during th' time he's bcen ir
jthere."
"I should think he could. Teil you
what. I'U just creep aroun' t th' win
der 'n see what he's up t'." said Spot,
suiting the action to the words. Drop
ping on his knees, he cautionsly peered
through the half-closed blinds. The
next moment he had fallen backward,
and was soon hastening to his com
rades with a curious expression on his
face.
"WeU, what's up, Spot?" he wa
asked.
"I du' know," replied Spot, scratch-
inc Kia iiCAil' " 'ncara like Hill v 'n erana
hnd got mashed on th' widder. He's
down on his knees fore th bed a-hold-in'
her in his arms."
A hearty laugh went round the.
crowd. At that moment BiUy ap
peared at the door with his sombrero
pulled weU down over his eyes.
"Boys," he stammered, end the
strong man's lips quivered "boys
there's an old lady insido who wants to
know my friends. Come in. It's my
mother." Tho Calif ornian.
England's Flowed Land Diminished,
During the last twenty years the
irea of land in England under the
plow has diminished by very nearly
2,000,000 acres, or over fourteen per
cent. The amount of arable land in
Wales has diminished twenty-one per
cent, in the same period. In Scotland,
on the contrary, it has increased by
78,000 acres. This difference is partly
explained by the relatively large areas
of land in Scotland retained under
clover and rotation grasses, more than
one-third of the whole cultivated area.
In England the proportion of culti
vated land so occupied is little more
than one-tenth of the whole. Chicago
Herald.
To Locate Metals In Flesh.
An electrical instrument has recently
neen mveniea wnicn is sumc.enuy ucu-
eat ? detect the presence of one-
of n ot .ete 5 "on wire
a stance of eix inches from itself
18 tended for use in locating sn.aU
Pcce of magnetizable metal, such as
needles, tacks steel and iron chips,
to ktt mBy "ave entered the human
!ody unawares and hidden themselves
q e skin or deeper tissues. It will
babJ e be of eat KrTice
rhere tne orcunarv metnoos oi aetect-
Inc the presence of foreign metallio
rubstances are ineffective and unreli
ible. American Farmer.
CLEaJCTXO paint.
There is a very simple method to
clean paint, and if housewives would
adopt it it would save them a great
deal of trouble. Provide a plate with
cma nf Vuot wtiltincp to bp Lad and
t, Tflftli- Hnm clean warm water and
thus cleaned ioolts as weu as wnen nrsi
laid on, without any injury to the most
deUcate colors. It is better than using
soap and does not require more than
half the tirao and labor. New Yor
World.
Hot n Oood T-tar.
St. Peter. You say yourself that
you were a compositor on a daily
paper. What earthly claim have vou,
then, to come in here?
Compositor. When I came to an
Italic "1. e." in distributing I always
took it oyer to the italic case instead
Ot putting it Into my pocket to throw
Into the gutter after I got outsidf
tbe office.
St. Peter Hustle this man down
to the ether gate. A good liar is bad
enongh, but bo aoesn't even know
bow to tell a plausible lie. Sonier
ville Journal
a Uood Keaoon.
Twynn They say tbat Dlnglet
hadn't a friend in the world.
Tnnlett So wonder. He went
about reciting elocutionary seieci.oiii
at j uarior envet taiuuieuts. wcuvu .
ft M J f4 4-
IOU8EO-THB CASHIER'S ANQER
An American Drummer Who Berttsed to
Indorse m Banic of Enodand Note.
I "I beard a good one about Billy
Tompkins," said one of a group of
commercial -travelers last night in tne
Continental Hotel, says the Helena
Independent. "You know BUly trav
els for Fluellen & Co."
A murmur and a reminiscent as
ent was tbe response.
"Well, sir," continued the first
speaker, "you know what a bustler
be 13. Did some slashing business
last fall and the firm gave him a
check for a bonus and told him to go
and take a trip to Europe. Well, sir,
Billy set out to have a real good time
and he bad it. While be was in Lon
don be took lunch one day at the fa
mous tavern in the city called tho
Ship and Turtle,' where a sovereign.
Just about sees you through your
lunch and he bad imbibed a little too
much 'turtle' punch.
"When ho left there be was run
out of small change, and he thought
he woulo. play big and go to the IJanli
of England and get a 20 no to re
deemed In gold. That's the way I'll
chance it,' qu ith he. So Into the
dingy old buildinu he strode, and put
ting his 20 note down before the
cashier's window, said: KJive nie
gold for that, will you-"
"'Certainly, sir,' said the cashier,
Just put your name on the back of it,
please.'
"Then Billy, tipsywiso, saw a
shance for some fun, and replied:
'Jly name on it! What for?'
'Oh, mere formality note with
drawn, you know. Tell how it camo
back to bank. Customary thing.'
" Til be darned if I'll sign it,' says
Billy. 'You don't catch me golnd
around indorsing any corporation's
paper in this reckless style.'
" 'Why, my dear sir,' gasped the
astounded cashier, 'this is a Bank of;
England note, good for its face value
the world over.
'Don't care, said Billy, with tipsy
gravity, 'I am not familiar with tho
ltnancial condition of the Bank of
England, and hanged if 1 Indorse lta
paper. I am an American.'
" 'If you were a Fiji Islander,' al
most shrieked the cashier, 'you ought
to know the value of a Bank of En
gland note."
41 'Well,' persisted Billy, 'what do
you want me to indorse it for? I in
dorse it, don't I, if I sign my name
to tbe back?'
" 'Great heavens!' ejaculated the
cashier, goaded to a condition of
I frenzy by Billy's imperturbable man
ner. ' here do such people as this
come from? If it? was the note of
hand of a bankrupt cat's meat man
ho could not be more suspicious.
Hero you, sir. Will you sign the
note?'
" '2s o, sir. I made a vow that I
would never put my name on any
promises to pay.'
" 'Send for ihe manager,' shouted
the cashier, turning to a clerk. 'He
will explain It to you,' added he,
Uirninn to Billy.
"The manager came, and all atonee
Billy's manner changed and in tho
most urbane manner possible he told
him be did not understand at first
the necessity for signing, and, putting
his name on the no'e with a flourish,
got gold coins for it and walked out,
leaving the two officials looking after
him with pu.zled faces.
"Billy told them all at the Hotel
Metropole over a glass of hot whisky
and water, and asked:
" 'Did I get a rise out of tho Bank
of England, or did I dot?' "
The general opinion was that he
did.
His Time Vfa Valuable.
For two or three years a tall young
man representing an eastern life in
surancc company has been staying
from time to time at a San Francisco
hotel. His name was Fennell and
many people have been smiling audi
bly lately over an experience he had.
One morning rcccutly, according to
the San Francisco Examiner story,
he rushed into the Anglo-Californian
bank and said to the President, who
was very busy writing;
'I would like to sec you, sir, just
for a few minutes."
'I can't talk to you this morning,"
said the President. "My time is too
valuable. I've got an inr-inse
amount of work to do and can pos
sibly stop. Minutes are money to me
now."
"What is your time worth, any
way?" demanded the agent, with
slight asperity, illy concealing his dis
appointment "A dollar a minute," responded the
banker with equal promptness,
"AH right," said the agent, reach
ing into his pocket and drawing forth
a twenty dollar gold piece. "I'll take
twenty of them and talk twenty min
utes." "Go ahead," said the man of money
raking down the coin.
Then the insurance man rolled off
a beautiful story with scarcely a
punctuation mark in it, the banker
ill the time holding his watch.
"You can't insuro me," said tho
banker.
"All right; but listen," was the re
sponse. He talked till the full twenty min
utes were up. Then tbe financier put
nis time piece in his pocket, firm as
ever to bis conviction that he needed
no Insurance. Moreover, he kept the
20.
Mr. Fennell went away disgusted.
Since then he has ; paid anybody
for his time.
Uold and Silver Production In 1891.
The products of the gold mines for
1891 aggregated 833,175,000, an in
crease of $330,000 over that of 1890.
The silver product reached 58,330,000 t
fine ounces, having a bullion value of i
857,630,000, or a coin value of 70,
, 4,6;6oo.' California leads in the yield
oi gold, and Colorado in silver-
StlU There.
Mrs. Tan Winkle I hear that your. '
son, t who has been away so maD.v
years, has returned. 1 1
Mrs, Van Blumer Oh, yes; and (la,
you know I didn't recognize the boy 1
it first he bad so changed. 1
Mrs. Van Winkle Didn't he have
any distinguishing mark?
Mrs. Von Blumer Ob, yes. I
flnauy identified him by bis porous
1 1 plaster. Kew YoiSJIerald.
OTtE OF THE ARAB'S SECRETS.
His Incredibly ftapld Method of Sending
News Between Dutant Folnta.
The Darlc Continent possesses
means of incredibly rapid communi
cation and secret intercourse, which
have hitherto remained ensbroundvd,
at any rate as far as Europeaus are
concerned, with the most impene
trable mystery, says a writer In tho
New York Tribune. When Khar
toum fell In I was in E?ypt, and
I well remember that the Arabs set
tled in tho neighborhood of the pyr
amids knew all about it, as we.l as
about Uen. Gordon's death, days and
days before the news reached Cairo
'by telegraph from tho roudanese
' frontier. Yet Khartoum is thou
sands and thousand of m.lcs distant
from Cairo, and the telegraph wires
from the lrontier ve;e wntioi.olized
by the Government. In the same war
these Arabs bad told tuj twelve
months previously or the defeat of
the Egyptian Army under Iaker
Pasha at Tokar, giving me not only
tbe news, but also several particulars
concerning the route two full days
before we received the intelligence)
from the Bed f-ca coast. In each
case they proved con ect as to i ate,
and it was obvious ttiat the reports
could not possibly have been ...e.e
guess work. Yet how had tney re
ceived the news? It could not bare
heeu by signal tires, as has been m -re
than once suggested to me by way of
explanation oi the problem, for
these fires would Infallibly have at
tracted the attcution of the English
and native scouts, and, besides, tho
character of tbe country is unpropi
tious to any such methods. Then, too,
no system of signal fires, no matt r
bow elaborate and prearranged, could
possibly have conveyed tbe news sc
quickly In such detail.
1 The Arabs, therefore, have mani
festly some other means of rapid com
munication at tbelr command. One
is Inclined to the presumption that
tbey, like the learned Pundits of
Northern India, have a knowledge
ot tbe forces of nature that are yet
bidden from nur most eminent
scientists. I was reading the other
day a lecture dclUered by S.r Will
iam I'reece, the principal electric. an
of the British Government, in which
he describes as an extraordinary and
altogether new dl covery the poss bil
ity o. telegraphing without wires by
means of the magnetic currents in
earth and water. It is not conceiva
ble tbat the Arabs of Africa may be
acquainted with these possibilities,
and have be.u applying their knowl
edge of them to the transmission ot
news' This is, so lar as I can see,
one of t o most plausible explana
tio.-is. There is nothing new under
the sun, not- even concerning elec
tricity, and a theory his even now
been put forward that the peculiar
cylinders discovered among the ruins
of Niueveh bearing, not characters,
but faintly marked lines, may be
notbinz more nor less th .n the cylin
ders of some ancient Assyrian phono
graph. Should this supposlt on be
I proved correct we may yet hope not
only to read the writings, but even
1 to bear tbe voices of those wise men
of tbe east, whose civilization ante
dates ours by so many thousand
' years.
Tarn Their Backs on Royaltv.
j There are fashions in everything,
I including the protection of prominent
persons when they are on parade.
The most recent regulation concern-
lng tho protection of life In Europe is
tbat of Kaiser William. .Sometime
ago there was a good deal of soc alls
tic agitation In Berlin, and It was
claimed tbat the Anarchists would
. attempt to throw a bomb at the Eui
j peror as he dr.ve through the city on
bis way to a review. Tho route or
the carriage was lined with police
men, aud back of them was the cus
tomary mob ot s gbtseers, on either
side of the way. The Kaiser gave
orders that as the royal coach ap
proached the police, who l.ad hereto
fort always st. od with their ba ks to.
the crowd, so as to salute the ceie
brit es as they passed, should tu n
their backs to the street, face the
mob, and step back two paces from
the front line of the crowd. It was
further ordered that tbe crowd should
be kept on the sidewalks, so that the
carriage would be at some distance
from tbe line of sightseers on either
side. These orders were carried out,
aod they appealed so strongly to the
Kussian Ambassador that be com
municated them to St. Petersburg,
and they have now been adopted by
the Kussian police. By keeping the
crowd well back from the carriage
considerable motion was made ne
cessary on the part of an Anarchist
to throw a bomb successfully, and, as
the police were numerous, his actions
would be seen by oue ot tbe guards if
those funrtlonar.es vere at all wide
awake. The Bussian police, in ad
dition to adopting tbce measures,
absolutely surrounded the carriage ot
the Emperor with horsemen. New
York Sun.
Bound to Rise.
T "Well, Bridget, what makes you
sojdownheartcd this morning.-". asked
a housekeeper of her domestic, "ch,
mum, it's tbe new resate ye give me
the day fur them raised dougbnets."
"What Is the trouble?"
"Sure. I dunno. 1 mixed 'em. an'
they riz up light. They wuz that
ngnt i couian t rou 'em. iney loi
tered tbe r-dlln' pin back as It they
wuz made of elastic. I wuz a mind
to tack down the wan side while I
rolled the other, to kape it on the
board. "
"What did you do with the dough?"
was the anxious question.
"Sure, it's in tbe sc.iwill, an' a
flatiron on the kiver to kape It in.
I'd sooner be after fryin' a batch of
flyin burrude "
A Flirt Rebuked
At a social gathering on Harlem
avenue Prof. Snore of Columbia col
lege was present as an invited guest.
Miss Esmeralda Longcofflin, a vener
able maiden lady, was also present,
and as usual she made frantic effort!
to captivate the professor, who bj
the way is a confirmed woman hater.
"Professor, how old do you really
think I am?" asked Esmeralda, co
quettishly.
"I can't possibly tell," replied the
professor. "I am not in charge ol
the departmeut of ancient history.
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