SnlieL ail
j p III II IKItilL
H UHWEIEK,
THE CONSTITUTION THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor.
)L. XLVlf.
MIFFLINTOWIN. JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. JANUARY 11. 1S93.
NO. 4.
X X
? 1
THE OLD YEAR AND YOUNG
YEAR.
BY BORA PERRY.
I.
FaM th yrar that was old,
I am cold, am cold.
And my hreath hunirs fast
on tiits witl Witit'-r blast
Vt this tbankles nceinbr;
Alt who will remember
i shivei ins ko,
1 lit warmth and the glow
'1 1 aroie like a tlme
V lifii 1 came, when I came?
I'nr 1 Ltiouutit In my hands
i i 'I'm I I'H.iHii lands,
m-mi mfn. ami Hie schemes
'I l it w re faiier thau dreams.
Ah n-ver a kmu
t if a t wrire month, will bring
Purit spiiMidor of treasure
n in tit stmt or m ensure,
A 1 brought on that day
' riintii'tiant aud gay.
Hut yLt-i, and alas,
in wilt ihii.k as 1 pa,
1 wa oD' P uav and bold?"
ihe eai ttiat was old.
II.
S.iid the year that a young
Aud hi lijiht laughter ruug
"Coni. bid ni at u cheer,
J'or I bring with me here
Mi --h tr i f ti as the earth
N'Vt saw till my birth;
A 1 h hir-re of life,
Jl'u'ht loyally rife
With the plan and the schemes
i 'f the world's highest dreams.
1 h.-ii Hope's challee filled up
1 -i itir Unni of the cup,
.t us li Ink to the pat,
J I f ior t'itiful past,"
. iT; ih! year that was young,
inle his I it lit laughter run.
A COMPLETE
LETTER WRITER.
BY JESSE 0. JOT.
Mr. Kigbtlines was in love with
(tr.;ro Eilgnr. There could be no
doubt about it, for that gentleman
1 in. oI f admitted as much, and he vis
not n man whose conclnsions were de
v ii j e.l prematurely. Indeed, one
delect iu Mr. Uigbtlinex's churacter,
; ce. rili! to iii h friends (and who
kv your "rst faults as yonr best
lnenJs do? was his want of spontane
ity. J 1 In Id a very respectable position
iu a bank, and was accurate and con
scientious to a degree. Besides, he
liii l r. ;r.!ur features, good morula, and
i. j.;md salary, and as lor his clotlieB,
they Here nl ways well made and
prompt. y paid for. Miss Dolly Trem
I i r, i.n experience! sumruer and win
t;i girl admitted with a sigh that Mr.
l;Ul,!l.iit s l ad scarcely a redeeming
fault; u sarcasm, which, considering its
source, must still be set down to his
credit.
"All Hint Kightlines needed to make
him perfect wus. a vice or two,'' re
minded Broadbent, a fluent, vulgar
U i 'v, whom Mr. Itightlines detested.
Mi. .1.4- how people conld put. np with
t!mi .. ii, i'u i yet, he was aggravat
i.'. h .-ni-ressfiil ci.d pro .pcrous, and
actually re lin e 1 t thrust his atten
tions o Miss I .d .:.. Of cjure, she
ki.ew their real alius.
1 his was one day when Mr. Right
lines was leaving the hank, his hat, cane
and overcoat being carefully adjusted
as usual, for he was very particular
about such matters. lie had walked
up ltroadway some distance an after
noon "constitutional" was also one of
his habits pondering in vain for some
ideal form of the momentous ouestion.
How should he ask Mies F.dgar to
marry him? The subject pressed so
heavily upon him, that by the time he
bal reached Union Square, he wonder
ed how any one did "pop" the ques
tion. And then, Grace Edgar was no
ordinary girl although what girl is
"ordinary in the eyes of the man who
ha made her his supreme choice? Mr.
Itightlines did not think of this how
ever, beirg as delightfully unoriginal
us are mo't lovers, tmt followed up his
fiii Lt ascription to her perfections, a
sort of devotional service which had
b come his habit of lute.
The string of I is plearant fancies
nrns nnpleaautly snai ped by a slap on
the luck. Some people never will
! uve at i i ect for a man's sliould'T-
hlades, i lie knew that Broad'jent
was 1 t 1 j l t i -1 him before he turned
aronud.
"Hello, ill man! What's your un
usual hurry?"
Mr. ilicr! times mumbled some word
of n co .nitioL.
"I tell von what it is, sonny," con
tinued Broa lbect, with odious insist
ence, "you're in love; no ne to deny
i, for I've got eyes in my face, and
know most of the symptoms. Some
people it affects very badly, spoils
their appetite and makes 'em grow thin
and bilious; but with me, now, it is
r:t;!it the opposite. Why I've gained
pounds since first consuming love be
g in to gnaw at mv vitals!" Locking
arms wilh itightlines, and dropping
into Lis most confidential and cott
er it.-d ii. aimer, ho continued: "Now,
I'll tell you who is my soul's present
idol; you were always close as a clam,
and so don t expect any return of my
confidence."
lie spoke the name almost in a
whisi er, but quite loud enough for the
oth.-r to hear.
"i irace. Kdar!" lie almost shouted,
"why why, she won't have you," he
ci: i i l iu sheer amazement at the fel
lou s Mudaeity.
"Won't she my boy? Well, we'll
tee about that. That girl is a daisy,
and no mistake, and 1 don't pretend to
be one-hundredth part good enough fr
her, but Tommy llroadbont is not the
n in to miss anything for want of a-k-
iif . "
Mr. liightlines was dnmb. The pre
Mimpiiou of thit fellow Broadbent
simply bereft him of utterance. He
parted from him presently, making
Kome excuse to escape down a side
s'r et, and went home to dinner and
hi- rejections.
lUinembering with more ardor than
ori 'iuality that faint heart ne'er won a
fair heiy, lie wisely decided to put hi?
lute t once to the test, and then fool
i; My spent a week poudering over the
1 roper 'opening," so to speak, for his
pi opes d. Htj coaposed three forms
of address, with Variations to suit time
and phicc, and which might be classi
fied ahont as follows: the dignified, the
pnss;oniite, the familiar and off-hand.
Ho was more than doubtful concerning
the lust, and would have preferred the
hrbt to the second, but that would de
pend. Anyhow, it was well to be pre
pared, and ho often dramatized the
del cate tcene, endeavoring, with the
ccrtiOi ure of hi3 sex, to' imagine his
feelings when sho returned the right
orser. And how many men ever con
sider the chances beforehand of get
tiCi; ihe wrong one!
i nto favored him the following fort
n: t?l t, anil he might have unburdened
himself of twenty declarations to Miss
tdi.r without let or hindrance from
any outside sources. Kivals there were
, none, all the Broadbents were extinct,
apparently, ajd he spent transcendent
half-hours id her presence! only to
reaa in tne steauy ngnt oi ner gray
yes, the utter folly of his prepared
orations. She was more charming than
ever. Itightlines fall deeper into love:
ra-read his fiction for the best models
of conrtship, bnt fonnd nothing to fit
hia case. Then it was that the fatal
idea came to him to write his declara
tion. This was late one night when
he came in after a reception, tired,
somewhat excited, and when he should
have gone directly to bed. fle opened
his desk instead and rapidly penned a
proposal, read it, tore it np, wrote
another, tore that up, and bo on half
a dozen or more. What worda were
worthy so divine a oreaturel Poor
Ilightiines was very deeply in love,
way down in those depths where formal
and proper people generally flounder
when they do make the plunge. Bleep
and appetite fled, he chilled or flashed
at the utterance of a certain name,and
his last trial balance was nearly a
total wreck. No further ideas would
come to him and the ink waa dry upon
his pen. Looking np to the trim rows
on the bookshelves, he espied between
their handsomely embossed backs, a
thin, cl h-bound volume in yellow
covers. It was evidently a straggler,
well-thumbed and somewhat ragged,
a veritable book tramp, which had
passed from hand to hand, and now, by
some chance found itself among the
morocco-bound respectabilities of Mr.
Kightlines's bookcase. lie took it
down mechanically and it proved to be
a "Gentleman's Complete Letter
Writer." Oh, the fatal facility of those
epistlesl The temptation was too great I
Blanks were conveniently left for the
names, which he filled np, so that the
letter which Grace Edgar received the
next day only to think of it read a
follows:
Jear Mist Kdgar Knowing by this
time, as you must, of the high esteem
with which 1 have ever regarded yon, 1
trust that the confession which I am
now about to make will not be alto
gether unexpected or unwelcome. The
feelings which your presence excite in
my breast make longer silence impos
sible. I love you, my dear Miss Edgar,
with the tenderest and truest affection,
and should you look with favor npon
my addresses, I hope you will find in
me one not altogether unworthy of
your highest regard. One word from
you wi.l ruiBe me to the heights of
unutterable falicity. Will yon not
ntter it? Anxiously awaiting yonr re
ply, which I trust will be favorable to
my suit, I am, my dear Miss Edgar,
your humble and devoted admirer.
Emokv. J. Kkihtlixes.
After mailing this epistle, which he
did that very night, our lover went to
bed and dreamt that he was buying a
ten pound silver 'water pitcher as a
wedding present for Miss Edgar, who
was shortly to marry lorn Broadbent,
and that the bill for the pitcher got all
tangled up with the figures in his ledg
er, and then the president of the
bank told him that he mnet either stop
copying his love letters in the letter
press book or resign.
Miss Edgar always answered letters
promptly, her manners, epistolary and
otherwise, being good, and Mr. liight
lines "anx'ouslv waiting did not
last long. Two nights afterward her
somewhat familiar handwriting lay
beside his dinner plate, though he
restrained himself sufficiently to com
plete his dessert before learning his
fate.
"Dear Mr. Rightiines," the deli
cately-tinted and perfumed sheet would
treinHe a rttle, "1 Lave just received
vour letter, and hasten to express my
thanks and appreciation of the compli
ment pant me. nile deeply touched
by it, the present state of my feelings
is such that I caunot reciprocate your
affection, and must therefore decline
yonr gentlemanly and highly flattering
offer. Trusting that the propriety of
this decision will reconcile yon to
whatever may be temporarily painfal
in its character, I remnin.
Cordially and candidly youri,
"Grace Edgar.
Mr. Bightlines pondered this short
missive for several days. He was a
serious, rather dry young man, bnt
slightly addicted to humor, and quite
incapal le of a practical joke. Still,
these lines read familiarly, somehow,
and that nieht he again took down his
"Letter Writer." How the book ever
landed on his shelves is a mystery to
this day, bnt there it was, and he
opened to "Proposals of Marriage,
Form No 1." That was his. "Keplies
to Same, Form of Acceptance No. 1."
That, alas! was not hers; none iu that
set. "Form No. 1 for Refusal." There
it was, snre enough, word for word,
just as she had copied, only with his
name filled in at the blank spaces. The
discovery ha dly gave him much pleas
ure, and the "Complete Epistolary
Gnide" might there and then have
ended its days, did not the thought
come to him that "she," such magical
power of association has love, must
possess one like it. He did not see
her again for a long time afterwards,
excepting at "long range," bnt con
soled himself as best he might, and
resolved some very good resolutions.
That he would never again propose
after any of the forms of the "Guide,"
he was certain, and this time he burnt
np his "Letter Writer." He would
never write a proposal again either,
and, lastly, he wcnll never propose
again anyway. And this last resolution
probably gave him the most comfort
of all. A heart permanently broken
may, after all, be a source of great
satisfaction, especially when its owner
has decided that no amount of tinker
ing will ever repair it, and so gives
himself no further trouble in the mat
ter. Then minor told him, with several
of her varied assortment of tongues,
that Miss Edgar was engaged: of
course it was to Broadbent, and after
that there was nothing left for him bnt
to settle down to comfortable and help
less misery.
But one memorable evening they
were to meet, and Air. Bightlines'
resolutions vanished. Really, he was a
capital fellow, thickly veneered witn
formality on the outside, but with
good, solid, hard-wood virtue under
neath the veneer. The hoar and the
woman had come.
"Miss Edgar," he said, quite di-;
rectly, and without preparation or'
preface, "I love you!" Simple say-,
ing this, and yet, when said, what ';
myriad heart-strings has it not touched ,
to celestial music!
"Ah, indeed!" and he color deep
ened slightly, "I was not aware of that
before now."
"I told von before!"
"When?''
"Why, my letter, you know. Yon
answered it."
"Tour letter? Yon didn't write me
any letter!"
'Most certainly I did, although it
was not my composition, I admit."
"Oh, you mean the letter copied out
of a book, which yon signed and sent
me. Happening to own the book, I
was able to identify it at once."
"The sentiments were mine even if
the worda were borrowed."
"1 am afraid yon are toe late,"
"It's Broadbent then, I suppose?"
"Who said anything about Mr.
Broadbent?"
"Yon don't love him?"
"So I told him last evening."
"Then there is a chance for mf
still?"
"Not if you continue to use quota
tions. I am rather particular to havr
my proposals first hand."
"Well, your letter wasn't original
either, as for that."
"And I oopied it so very neatly, too.
Didn't you like it?"
"No!'
"Let me see it?"
Mr. Rightiines extracted the noU
from the inner recesses of his pocket
book, where it still survived his fixed
intention to destroy it. Miss Edgar
gravely perused the paper, although
her eyes had already begun to sparkle
when she said:
"No wonder you didn't like this. I
copied the wrong form. I most have
been thinking of Mr. Broadbent at the
time, or may be, I got 'em mixed up,
and so wrote 'yes' to him instead ot
no.' Dear me, how dreadful!
Though come to think ot it, now, I
remember that I replied to his ques
tion verbally." She flew back to the
library, buried herself for a few mo
ments in a huge roll-top desk, from
which she emerged with another writ
ten sheet.
"Here, Emory, she said quite rad
iantly, "is the letter I intended to copy
and send you:
"Aft Drnr Mr. Jlightlinea, I have
just received your letter, and can
scarcely find language adequate to ex
press the emotions which agitate my
soul. You say that you love me, and,
although blushing to myself to own it
my heart has long been yours.
Words fail to convey the happiness
and diffidence with which I ought to
make this confession. I know that
you will think none the less of me for
this unpremeditated avowal of my
attachment, and remain
"Ardently and affectionately yonrs,
"Gkace Edoab."
They both laughed heartily over
this, and, although married, laugh
over it still. And yet something glis
tened suspiciously on the paper, for
they remembered the seriousness of the
oompact, and when Mr. Rightiines got
home that night, he unfolded the letter
from bis pocket where his heart had
been beating against it, and kissed
the little blotch directly opposite the
name. That was where the promise
had been sealed with a tear. Home
Journal.
PHOTOGRAPH OF MARS AND THE
MOON.
BI Li. MATTHEWS.
When the planet Mars and our own
Moon were in such friendly relations
a few weeks ago, there were many ef
forts made to catch some views of them
that would perpetuate the wonderful
ecene. Each had been pictured alone,
but not in conjunction.
Prof. Hale, of Kenwood Observatory,
thus tells the process by which he
photographed the two and caught the
ruddy planet and the pale satellite as
they met:
"All was ready, and when the signal
was given the big telescope was slowly
swung round and pointed full at the
moon. But this was not sufficient. The
Moon is not stationary, and the point
of the instrument must be kept on
exact lino with her luminous majesty.
This was accomplished ty a clock-like
mechanism which moved the point of
the telescope at the same apparent
rate of speed, or at a rate sufficient to
keep the moon in focus. The image oi
the moon and the planet then fell npon
a 12 inch "ct glass. The image was
about two inches in diameter. It waa
quick work to pnt the prepared plate
before the object-glass. It was quicker
work to remove the obstructing slide
and replace it. It was the very quick
est work, in fact. It was like a flash,
lt had to be. lt consumed the im
portant minimum particle of eternity
a fourth of a sqcond. The plate had
been exposed. The Moon and Mart
had been photographed." The same
conduction of the two might occur
again or it might not; but at any rate
here was a reproduction of them in
that interesting attitude that would
last forever.
The conjunction of two such interest
ng orbs as this planet and onr moon,
was a wonderful event in the world oi
science, and the description .of the
photograph, and how the exact mo
ment of meeting was caught and fixed
by art forever, is of intense interest to
all lovers of science.
The planet Mars has always been k
favorite with its neighbors of the Earth,
perhaps because it is near enough for
us to dare a few speculations about it.
Just now the Eartii and Mara are in
the situation that is called "in opposi
tion.'' This means that they are close
together, and the Earth stands (or
swings between the Sun and Mars.
This state of affairs can happen only
once in every sixteen years.
Almost every writer, who has pic
tured our relations with our sister
planets, has chosen Mars as the friendly
neighbor, and numerous fanciful tales
have been invented, having the two for
the scenes of the plot.
There can be no real reason for thi?
except the idea some wise men have
expressed, that we shall some day have
the meobarrical skill and resources to
construct telescopes tba will plainly
show us the exact state of Mars, and
whether or .not it is inhabited. This
may be but a wild dream, bnt many
visions far stranger have been realized.
A curion. dmtm.
A, censor, attached to the lmperia
court in Pikin, having suggested that
the Emperor should talco up the an -
clcnt practice of having the classic
and other sared writings expounded
to him daily), his Majesty published,
this decree: "Since we have under-,
taken the task of governing In pen
son, we havfe daily received In aud-
and the projvincta, and done our ut
most to rfchtly discern the proper
men and pass judgment on their
actions. Such tfcme as rMnalna at oar
disposal) after transacting the multitudinous-
affairs ot state, we devote U
the study of the classic and histor
ical records, 'often engaging In d.
Dusslon with (the Imperial tutors, and
never permitting osrselves for a mo
Bont to indullge In luxurious ease."
Tiiey call it "pin' money," because
t'woman doesn't usually get more
thae a paper of plus1" would cost.
Ballet dancers '.never require ay
dress reljean&l. -i -
THEIR LANGUAGE IS A LEGACY,
I'll Coaqnerors B.n Gone, but Their
Tong-w I. th Only OneSpoken.
There is an instance iu Africa of a
people who subjugated a large region
and after years of supremacy were
themselves expelled from the country,
but left their language the universal
medium of speech as a reminiscence
of their occupancy, says an exchange.
These people are the Makololo tribe,
who, forty-eight years ago, under
their warlike chief, Sebotoane, left
their homes among the mountains of
Basutoland, crossed the wide desert
of Kalahari, an enterprise Involving
incredible hardships, and finally set
settled along the upper Zambesi and
its tributaries. Their emigration
proved the capacity of the savage
African to leave his native land and
make a new home for himself in
'ar-distant region.
Livingstone has described this
fierce chief, Sebotoane, who con
quered all the tribes around him,
made himself master of the large
empire of the Barutse, and so came to !
i ule a region as large as some of the
European states. It was in 1843
that Livingstone saw him. The
empire of the Makololos lasted until
1864, when, on account of the cruelty
Y)t Sekeleto, the son of the old king,
who had died five years before, a
general revolt occured, and the Mak
ololos were driven from the country
by the natives, who were far more
numerous than the Intruding people.
There is to-da not a single Mak-
o!oo In that region, but, strange to
say, during the twenty years of the
domination of this tribe their lan
guage, a little corrupt, 1 ccame the
language of all that Immense terri
tory. Thus lt happens that a lan
guage of South Africa Is now spoken
in the upper Zambesi by many thou
sands of peop'.e who are quite distinct
from the tribe that Imposed the
language upon them. The natives
have. In fact, almost forgotten their
original languages, though they have
introduced into their new speech
quite a large number of the words
which formed part of the vocabulary
of their forefathers So the Mak
ololos, no longer living in the coun
try, have left profound traces of their
former occupancy.
GERMAN VILLAGES.
Farm House. Framed la the Fatherland
Erected In Jack.on Park.
The German village at the World's
Fair grounds represents the architec
ture of the present and of mediieval
times. One of these buildings, repr
resenting a Wesf,ihalian farmhouse,
trained in Germauy, has just been
erected and has received Its thatched
roof of Indiana rye straw. It is one i
jf those large, commodious country
places designed to accommodate the
whole family and most of the live
stock, Including uncanvased West
phalia hams. Its great, sharp roof,
covered with straw to a depth of
twelve inches and then smoothly
sheared t the eaves, presents a pic
turesque feature of the grounds. It
will be finished after the old-countty
style and will be used as quarters for
fJerrnan soldiery during the Fair.
Ttuee other representative Uermar
HIir.B IN OKRXAN VIM.AOC
tarmhouses will cluster about this
3ne, und Just over the way an "origi
nal Vienna bakery" and cafe will do
business to the taste of the villagers.
linth Mile, of the Story.
Two young pirls sat on the porch
if a seaside hotel, In which they had
been guests all summer: near them
was a gentleman who had just ar
lved. There." said Miss Blank- "There
;o those lovers off for a stroll. It Is
said they are actually engaged! So
absurd! Both middle-aged; he Is a
pompous fool, and she is pockmarked.
What can they see in each otherf
"They have l-en lovers since they
were children," gently answered Miss
Case. "But she baa devoted her life
to nursing her mother, who has been
111 for years with an incurable disease.
Now ber mother is dead and they will
soon be married."
Presently:
"Do look at those Wright sisters!"
fried Miss Blank. "I'm sick of the
sight of them. The elder sails along
nvith that slow, majestic grace, as if
tbey were of royal birth, and the
uly little one trots after her never
leaver her a minute. It's a wonder
It never occurs to her she may lie in
the way when a pretty girl is talking
1 t,j a gentleman."
I "Her sister does not think her in
he way," quietly said Miss Case,
J "The reason she walks and moves
! slowly is because she is subject to ter-
i rible attacks which are brought on by
rapid motion. Her sister never leaves
her. because if she were not there to
apply the remedies, the poor girl
would die. There never was a more
i
r -ther," she added warmly.
Her compan;on was silenced, but
!! only for a few minutes.
"There is the stupid Miss Brown
itiiBg away! That is a reliefl When
j omen get to be as old and ugly and
' ininterestitig as that they ought to
kept out or sight of their friends."
Miss Case hesitated a moment.
"Do you know that Miss Brown en
;aged two rooms for the whole sea
tin, and has kept them filled with
j rwr teachers and widows, and moth
' -.re with sick babies, not one of whom
j on Id have lieen able to leave home
ut for her? She has given them
j luppiness and health, and perhaps
4ejr4iJe- I. heard tbU fiomoU9of
- : j
tnera noT from' " heTself, " iTH" lOTW
quickly.
And so on, and on, one seeing the
shadow in each character, the other
the bright side.
The newcomer keenly Inspected th&
faces of the two girls, as they rose
and passed him. Both were young
and pretty. But one was already
tilled with discontent, and with
mean, vulgar thoughts, while the
other turned on life eyes full of se
rene and joyful calm. Whatever their
future lot, one will find only disap
pointment In the world; but to the
other lt will always be, as Charles
Kingsley says, "full of sweet and
noble souls."
OWE THEIR LIVES TO HEN.
Mr.. Kdward White Rewarded for SaTtng
Three Per.ou. from Drowsing.
Mrs. Edward White has been re
warded for her bravery in saving the
lives of three men who were ship
wrecked off Gray's Harbor, Oregon.
The vessel, the Ferndale, struck a
reef near the entrance to the harbor,
and seventeen of the crew of twenty
perished. The three who were
saved owe their lives to Mrs. White,
who at her peril waded Into the
surf, and dragged them ashore, after
wards tenderly caring for them. The
MBS. IDWARD waiTB.
people of Portland presented her
wlih a purse of 1375, and a move
ment Is now being made to obtain
for her medals of honor from the
humane societies of Great Britain
and America.
The Pie Dancer.
A wild-looking man walked Into a
restaurant at Washington market the
other day-and called for a whole
pumpkin pie, says the New York
Herald. They handed him one and
he took it out to the gutter, placed it
therein, and began jumping on lt and
kicking it, uttering strange cries of
savage joy the while. He repeated
this with a cranberry, an apple, and
a huckleberry pie. Naturally his
doings attracted some attention in
neigh bnrhood, but he declined to
answer any questions put to him.
He approached the lunch counter
when be had completed his wai
dance, ordered an enormous porter
house steak and a big supply of ale.
When he had made a wolf of himself
and nothing remained on the platter,
he licked his chops contentedly, and
turning to the remnant of the Crowd
which still lingered remarked: "Now
gents, I'm ready." A little whipper
snapper of a fellow broke the sllenee.
"We wus wonderln' wut yer wasted
good vittles fur," he said. "An't
there enough poor people for yer to
guv 'em to if you don't want 'em?"
Toor people!" exclaimed the pie
dancer hotly, "poor people! I
wouldn't give pie to a dg. I have
Just come from a little Cshig village
In Massachu-etts. The principal dish
at each meal was pie. We had it
for breakfast, dinner, and supper.
The landlord used to wake us up in
the middle of the night and ask us If
we wouldn't have a piece of pie. If
you went fishing with a faJlow he
would pull some pie out of his pocket
and begin to eat it, just as a New
Yorker would produce a whisky flask.
I wouldn't mind if they had sonr.e
thing in the meat line to eat, but
they haven't. They'd put eight dif
ferent kinds of jelly cake on the table
and rolls and preserved, things and
their Infernal pie. What a New
Yorker wants Is beef. That's what
this town has grown great on. New
England Is degweratlng because of
pie and prunes. It's the vertigo in
the head, brought on by pie, that the
Bostonlans mistake for genius. I
didn't dare show roy contemnt for
plo In Massachusetts. 1 should have
been -lynched. I landed from the
boat a few minutes ago and I at once
got up the demonstration against pie
of which you were tho witneses."
Bulwer'e Opinion.
One day, when calling at a beauti
ful villa on the Thames, the autboi
of "Pelham" found Its mistress on
the sofa, deeply engaged in a book.
"What have you got there that in
terests you so much?" siid Bulwer.
"The 'School for Husbands,' " sho
answered.
"You don't mean to eay," he re
plied, "that you consider life long
enough to waste on such unmitigated
trash 1"
"Oh, but I assure you, 81r Edward,
I consider it very clever, very smart
and witty. You should look at it
again, and you would discover that
you have quite misappreclated It."
"No, thank you; I have neithei
read, dor do I intend to read, that
wretched book; and you may rely upon
it, if you have found any sense within.
Its covers, those pages are not by the
soi-dlsant author."
The author in question was Lady
Bulwer.
IB Florida.
Excited Passenger Nothing wrong,
I hope?
Conductor No; we were flagged
and had to stop.
Passenger What was the matter
Conductor The flagman wanted a
chaw of tobacco. Judge.
Wants Quick AattoD.
In China all wines are drunk hoV
The thrifty Chinaman believes that
heated wine Intoxicates more expe
ditiously than cole: wiae.
GOOD LITTLu
AM L"
GIRL
BT AMT D'ARCT WETMORE.
Once npon a time there was a good
(ittle girl namod Marjorie positively
ihe was not "Marjorie Daw." Only I
will not tell you her last name. It U
nice sometimes to be mysteridhs, and
my dear little readers, as they say in
books, can guess who she is
She was a very sweet little girl, and
lived in such a pretty house! She had
a kind papa and mama and. a French
nurse who taught her little sentences
to surprise her friends. Although she
was not quite five years old, and ha 1
only a limited number of birthdays
and Christmases, the had a great
many toys, and crowds of attractive
little dresses in fact everything tr
make a small girl happy.
Lately, she had been promoted to
wearing very short skirts, for vou know
when one comes to reside in this world
one's clothes are very long, then they
t ecome short, and then they grow long
again. So Marjorie, as we have said
wus at the short stage now and it was
very becoming, because she had such
pretty legs, and with her short black
tockings,and cute little slippers she was
charming. Bnt we must not dwell too
much upon ber legs and forget about
her lovely blue eyes her pretty soft
brown curls and healthy pink color.
She had such a decided little face with
so much expression, and she was too a
Very decided little girl and conld take
good care of herself. Lately she had
given up some serions fan Its of early
youth; she hardly ever fell down stairs
now a days, and always did as she was
told (except when she did not wan'
to).
Marjorie was a great traveler and had
been in Europe, and had even seen
something of society over there.for she
had actually been at a "Tea" given to
little Lady Fairfax. Bnt on the whole
sbe did not like Europe much. It was
a good deal mixed up with whooping
cough, and a new nnrse in her mind,
and the combination was not a happy
one. Besides.it was such a brittle place,
so many things broke when Marjorie
touched tliPm. Once her little hand
knocked against the car window and
it jnst fell to pieces. At another time
a nice piece of soap broke in half as
Marjorie was taking her bath! and as
for tnmblers and pitches one had only
to look at them, and tbey fell over on
the floor their contents scattered, and
their future usefulness destroyed.
' But to go back to Marjorie's toys,
two among the manv were the most;
prized. One was called "Mr. Sands
i .y Marjorie and by impolite people a
stuffed monkey. He was an immense
favorite, though his habits were not to
be imitated. He was rather addicted
to the "pomps and vanities of this
wicked world," and wore a most gor
geous coat covered with bells. Indeed
like the hero of the old rhyme, he
adorned his person considerably with
these articles, and wore them not only
on his fingers and toes, but in his ears
also. He was inclined to be lazy, and
did not seem to have the slightest am
bition to make "foot-prints on the
sands of time;" on the contrary he
spent most of his time in a small brass
bed-stead in company with a lage bot
tle, which often gave bis friends a sus
picious, and uufavorable opinion of
him. The other toy that rivalled "Mr.
Sands" was far more respectable. It
was a large music, box that was a de
lightful medley of a piano, a hand
organ, and the "Fifth Regiment
Band." This was Marjorie's great joy,
and while her nurse was dressing her,
and curling her pretty hair Marjorie
would set this box going, and sounds
of melody would enliven the process
of the toilet Bnt one day Mama came
home with a sad tale of a dear old man,
who had no one to take care of him,
and who lived at a big house whore
they took aged people. This old man
was very lonely and poor his wife and
all his children had gone to Heaven
long ago. He was not a nice old man
to look at for he wore ragged clothes,
and did not like to wash his face and
hands very often. But there was one
thing he did love, and that was music.
He thought if he could only hear once
more some dear old tune of his youth he
would be happy, but alas! when would
that be.No;ttiat like everything else must
belong to the past. Now Marjorie lis
tened to this sad stoiy, and complac
ently patted her music box, but she
thought she would wind it np, and
perhaps "Mr. Sands" might take his
nap by it
But every afternoon now whet
.Mama was lying down, and Marjorie
had come in to assist her in this em
ployment Mama would tell her again
the story of the p or lonely old man,
and sometimes Marjorie would cry
about him, and ask why he did not buy
a monkey like "Mr. Sands." But
when she was told he had no
money aud co Papa or Mama
to give him any pretty toys Mar
jorie would shake her curls and say she
was "tinking about tcmething,' So
Marjorie thought, and thonght, and
thought, and one morning before
fdami was np she heard a noise at her
door, and a small white robbed figure
with bare feet came in tugging a large
box, ber sweet little face flushed with
excitement, and her curls hanging all
disordered over ber bright eyes.
"Mama" she raid "Majorie will dive
de poor ole dirty man her musy box,
but he mns no", want 'Mr. Sands' tause
heaintdoeing to det him if he does."
Mama drew the delicious morsel into
ber be I, and kissed her generous little
girl over and over again. So that
afternoon when they were lying down
for one of their usual talks with "Mr.
Sanaa" asleep in Marjorie's arms her
Mama told her how happy Bhe had
made the old man, and how he had
said that now "everything he had
want d in this world had been given to
him.' Marjorie listened and was
greatly pleased, only she was still more
so, when her Papa decided that such a
good actxn deserved a speedy reward,
and so he went down street and pur
chased another monkey. This one was
even more full of vain glory and all
unrighteousness than the celebrated
"Mr. Sands," atd therefore soon be
came a rival and favorite. A place was
assigned him in the brass bedstead,
and he was given a bottle for his own
and separate use, while he was known
in polite ciroles by the name "the
False Prophet." So this story ends
leaving one old man happier than he
was when it began, and if Marjorie cares
to she can truly say "What a Good
Little Girl Am L"
Violinists have been known who
were so fond of their instruments as to
keep them t y their bedside. Notable
among these is the young violin virtuo
so Nathan Landsberger. His express
command to the people where he resides.
Is, in ease of fire, to save his loved
Instrument first.
WHAT A
CAN YOU DO IT?
Oan you look in at a jeweler's win
low, where diamonds are exposed in
the most tempting array and admire
them, enjoy intensely gazing at them,
be very happy for ten minutes, while
you stand with these wonders of God's
creation before your eyes, and then
resume your walk without coveting?
That is, supposing yourself an admirer
of precious stones some folks are yet
such savages or such Puritans that dia
uonds are to them lescthan dirt and
supposing that you are the possessor
already of a reasonable number, can
you do it?
Can you see yonr friend, the lapid
ary, as I saw him last week, pour out
the palm of his hand full of these, bril
iants and pass them to me that 1
might flash them in the sunbeams;
can you I am not saying whether I
conld hold steady and be charmed
for the moment, perfectly delighted,
and then pass them all back without a
covetous itching of your palm? '
Can you look upon that splendid
residence which your neighbor is
erecting, and glory in all its elegance,
a thing of beauty to yon and always a
joy as often as you pass it, yet uot be
annoyed by any mean little pangs be
cause it is not yours, nor criticise its
defects more agreeably than you op
pose its graces? Can you walk up
Fifth avenue, and thoroughly enjoy
the lordly vista that stretchts away in
sublime miles to the park? If yon
can. how happy are you; for you have
all the delight without any of the
taxes, assessments, insurance, repairs
and vexations.
If a young mind can but teach itself
to see pretty things and really have a
true aesthetio judgment as to what is
pretty and yet not be tortured by
covetonsness, that mind can go through
life in almost perpetual enjoyment.
He or she may be a poor meclmnio or
sewing-girl, and never get aliove be
ing a toiler for a mere living; yet so
does this world hang out its pretty
things for show, that the humblest eye
is more than full of the sight of them,
if it be a trained eye. The rich dress
for such eyes; they build their houses
beautiful on the outside for such eyes;
they varnish their carriages and polish
their harness for such eyes; they trim
their gardens, full of flowers, st.it nary
and fountains for sucli eyes. Every
body puts on his best when he ap- '.
pears in any public place for snch
eyes. Old Curmudgeon shaves his
ngly face every morning to make it ap- .
pear as benignant and little offensive :
as possible to such observing eyes upon '
the street. I must buy a new style
silk hat price six dollars that I may
do my part toward the good appear
ance of the common sidewalk throng of ,
whose stream I make one drop. All j
this is for your happiness, if you are
trained to look npon it, enjoying and
not envying and coveting.
They say that wealthy ladies dress,
not to please, bnt to torture others;
they wish to make all their neighbors
unhappy with envy. Ah, being a man
myself, I have the advantage of them;
I Eimply enjoy their pood looks, and
covet not their at;ire! Neither do I
covet them. I would not exchange
dear, handsome, gray-headed Mrs.
Barker for the street full, after all
these forty heroio y-sars. Bnt I really
fear that my daughters can't do it; nor
can you, daughter unknown, who are i ng of a horse In the distance,
reading this. Try; it is worth trying. The French Society of Hygient
Do not suffer such complete success on ,as appointed a commission to "report
the part of these butterflies, the pretty m the system of smoke-consuming
creatures, who dress to torture you, ' :iimneys In use In several manufac
and so often do it. ures in I eiKn.
Can you, my dear old fellow, can i , , .. ,.
you go to a wedding, and be really The New Wk AM Building U pro.
Lappas you look on the young chap wlth the largest thermometer n
who Is thirty years better off for this ;'sterice. It has a dial forty inches n
world's life than vou? Can yon go l'meter, so situated as to be In plain
home, after having .lanced a little with ' rlew of Passers-by.
the young people and make vourself i - So remote is the planet Neptune
irenerallv. with vour snowy head, like i 'rjm t'e sun, its mean distance being
a winter's sunbeam, and sit down by
your grate to rub your rheumatio toea
before bed without growling and cov
eting the younglings' freshness? It is
said that the old king can never love
his son, the prince, who is to be king
as soon as he is dead. Can yon he
happy in the happiness of youth about
you? If so, I pongratuluto yon; for
this world is full of young people and
empty of aged folks. Twenty to one you
see youthful faces on the street and
along the -paths of life. Alas! for the
old wretch who envies you, instead of
enjoying them.
Can you do it take delight in seeing
another man get on in this world? Do
you find pleasure in contemplating an
other's advancement, watching him
creep up a little higher, and yet high
er, every year? Jf so, you are a lucky
dog; for everybody is then engage.! in
trying to please you. Who is not try
ing to better his condition? Ou every
hand, all vour neighbors are slaving,
night and day, to do the thing that is a
source of happiness to yoi.lnam ly,
make more and more of their chance
in the world. But in what a chronic
state of misery must thnt men be to
whom the spectacle of another's pros
perity or effort to thrive is a source of
envy. The world, except the vaga
bonds and crimnals is in league
against such a man's jieaca of mind.
'Ihe incident that suggested tome
this line of thought, I really must give
yon. I was walking along a proud
and generally thronged avenue of a
fashionable city. It was tho vacant
hour of noon ; few people were passing.
Directly in front of me I had noticed a !
fair-haired little cirl playing at the
nurse's apron-6trings. It waa a won
fully beautiful face, with line eyes
lauehmg almost as audibly as the silver-
toned throat. I had not noticed two
ladies in heavy morning who were
! walking near till they paused, and the
t younger lifted the Btifling crnpe from
her sad yet pretty features Then,
with a swoop like an eagle's, she caught
' np this tiny stranger child.Jcry ing out:
I "Oh, oh, Heaven help me! It is
I just the same!" kissing it over and
1 over.
The nnrse screamed to me, because
i I was the nearest male, 1 suppose.
! The elder laxly exclaimed, pityiDgly:
j "Lizzie! Lizzie! restrain yourself!
Onr darling is in heaven!"
i The lady, with the child jet in her
embrace, responded:
j I know, mamma, dear I know.
' Jnst one kiss more, and I will put her
; to the gronnd. She is so like! so like'
' I could not help it!"
Then turning to me, sue said:
"Sir, pardon me. If that is your
child. I wish you joy. I had one once,
1 and I can never see any child of her
age but 1 covet oh, so much I covetl
i How happy your home ought to be,
sir! And witn tnat word sne wa
gone.
Perhaps the most masterful control
ever achieved in this world is that of
the bereaved parents who can look on
another's houseful and yet be glad, aud
only glad. Or the lone husbaDd i r
wife, who, teeing man and wile happy
together, vet is clad, and only clad, at
sight of a joy no lonf.t r possible to the
solitary observer. Can you do it?
Heaves atone ean help you do it.
iJEWS IN bRIEF.
The heart writes its lines on the
"nee.
Mi darn society
tlghbcr.
acknowledges no
rrudence, like experience, must be
id for.
J ust praise is only a debt, but flattery
s a pre ent.
A single grateful thought is the
most complete prayer.
There are nearly ten million varie
les of Insects in the world.
The interest you in others take,
'.bat interest they will take in you.
Variations in atmospheric pressure
ipp ar to have a powerful effect upon
die mind.
Business dispatched is business web
lone, but business hurried Is business
nl done.
Platinum may have existed some
,lnie as a liquid before taking the crys
ailine form.
Some of the railroads are now
mployiui electric shovellers for exca
vating purposes.
The object of puuishment Is pre
vention from evil; it never can be made
impulsive to good.
After the passage of the cape cin
inmon, vanilla, ciov.s, nutmeg and
pepper came into use.
The State of Washington is one ot
.he heaviest consumers of condensed
milk in the country.
In the Eleventh Ceatury both
cltigli-h and French dandles covered
.heir arms with bracelets.
The Sandwich Islanders becomt
ull irioiis on the Juice of a vegetable
reseaibling the beet root.
Everywhere the flower of obedienct
s inteilig nee. (Hey a man with cor
lial loyalty and yon will understand
JlUl.
The death rate or British soldit-n
n India Is only fifteen per 1000 now,
where in 1859 it was sixty-nine per
1000.
The accuracy of surveying in au
jient engineering is marvelous, con
I'dering the ludeness of the instru
ments. Fleetwood, Fenn., claims to have t
i u nice which weighs twenty-eight-unces
and measures sixteen inches In
ilrcumferenc".
A shoemaker In Berlin, Germany,
.as invented an artificial sole of stone
'or use in shoes. It is elastic and
(iisy on the feet, aud Is calculated to
ast for years. a
An Instrument will be used at the,
tew psychological laboratory at Yale
College, capable of measuring time to
01 oi a second.
The light given by an ordinary
;oal gas flame is due to the presence of
larbon particles in a highly heated and,
towing condition.
Experiments in towing barges or.
:anals by means of electricity have been
nade ou one of the canals in France on
he sunk cable plan.
European savants declare that the
uzzing or a nv, wnen heard through
i he microphone, sounds like the neigh-
1,743,9'JS,0C0 miles, that the tempera
,u re is estimated to be 900 degrees be
ow zero.
M. Turpin, the inventor of the ex
slosive melinite, who is now undergoing
ive years' imprisonment in France,
daims to have finally solved the prob
em of aeiial steering.
The Philadelphia and Reading
dadroad has given an order to the
Baldwin Locomotive Works for fifty
!ngi:ies, one-half of which will be com
toun.l, with Wootten boilers.
A new Invention Is a saw-horse
A'ilh a toothed dog holdiug the piece of
.1 in her In place, the device being p!v
le i at the cross legs and operating
mder a spiing tension.
A Berlin physician, Dr. Weil, hat
fleeted some remarkable and rapid
:i res of diabetes by using a decoction
r huckleberry leaves, obtainable tn
rug stores as pUulee myrtelli Jasper.
The only specimen of fossilized o
'nfied ave rnn .ever f-talh
united States was that discovered by
in exploring party at Craighead Cave,
lear Monroe, Tenn., in 1892.
A very cuiious experiment hat
.ecently been made by Profesor Spring
which s-ems to indicate that metals
uav exist In a gaseous state at teinper
iturei below their melting points.
There Is a certain place ou tht
4trth, In northern latitude, where,
.l ough the days and n'ghts (even when
ihorttsl) consist of several hours, yet m
.hat plaoe it is midday or noon tvery
p.iarter of an hour.
Experiment has demonstrated that
I hen the land in the Snake River Val
ley, Idaho, is irri;aled, wheat ylelua
I orty bu hels, oats seventy-five bushels,
: arley forty-five bushels and potatoes
!."() bushels to the acre. A'f jira yields
hree crops In a season.
! A Brunswick l Me. man recently
! -aid for a suit of clothes with 8000,
vhlcu weighed twenty-one pounds.
Mrs. William Wood, the wife of a
prominent farmer,, died at Martlns-
I rille, Ind. , recently. She was married
vl.eu fourteen years old and though
j inly thirty-five when she died, she
tad been a grandmother for two
' 'ears.
! A jimmy, such as burglars ust.
, i simply a short crow oar. A sectloual
, iminy is one in sections of, say ou,
! oot in length, whica are screwed to-
;ether to make it ot the necessary
ength. One end of this jimmy is
' .timed up a 1 ttle more than the ordiu-
iry crowbar. The jimmy is an exam
' le of a simple lever. '
i A German doctor of reputation
'jrepcribes iluminum as a cure for
heumatism. A finger ring made of
;hn metal, joined with another, gene
rates a gentle current of electricity,
which is said to make a permanent
;ure.
The moose in Penobscot County.
Maine, are so accustomed to the train
lhat they gaze calmly and critically at
the locomotive, and are not frightened
hv whistles or hissing steam jets.
People frequently shoot at them from
jhe car windows.
I
II
M
La.