IV V 2 1 B. P. ROHWEIER, i THE CONSTITUTION THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS. Editor and Proprietor. VOL. XLV. MIFFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. SETTEMBER Hi, 1S91. NO. 39. m Incomes. f!ghy Bell receives $250 a week. Fred Leslie receives $500 a week. Kyric Bellew receives $350 a week, j Charles Coghlan is paid $350 a week. Pe Wolf Hopper is paid $250 a reek. John Ilubbcrton makes $10,000 a rear. Mark Twain's income is $80,000 a year. H. II. Stoddard now earns about fj.GOO a year. F.dgar Saltus makes from $2,500 to g;,Mn a year. W. I. Howells receives from the Harpers $10,000 a year. R. W. Gilder receives 20.000 a rear from tlie Century. Jneph Pulitzer's income for 1888 was. it is said, $1,000,000. Mrs. Clianler (Ainelie Rives) makes about $10,000 a year. Wa!t Whitman of late years has earned about $:!00 a year. Once a Week gave Frank Stockton $l".O0O for his latest story. Edgar W. Fawrett receives about $4,000 lt year from his writings. Col. John ockerill is paid $20,000 a year by the New York World. Mayo W. Ilazeltine receives $175 B week from the Xew York Sun. The late E. P. Poo found no diffi culty in writing 50.000 worth a year. Francis AVilson until he went into liu-ine-s for himself was paid $000 a week. I'-rander Matthews averages an an nual iii"ome from literature of about $.;.0io. Charles Dudley "Warner is paid $l.''o0 for his department in Harper's Magazine. Miss Murfree's (Charles Egbert Craddoek') novels yield her about $ i.oOo a year. Frances Hodgson Burnett is getting ri h at the rate of from $20,000 to $25.iio a vear. How Some Girls Walk. Why is it our young ladies do not know how to walk? Ixok ! here comes one with her head pitched for ward, her hands swinging ungracefully by her side, her feet scullling the walk. and altogether presenting an appear ance quite unbecoming one of Amer ica'.s lovely daughters, charming in all else, perhaps, but oh. such a gait ! The next one walks with a jerk, her feet and lower part of her body hav ing started on a race with her head to see which will get there first. The consequence is for every step forward she comes part way back with a jerk Her sister follows, twitching un gracefully from side to side, rolling from one foot to the other like a sailor in mid-ocean, only he has some excuse, and she has not. The arms usually follow, hut in opposite directions. The body uf the next one makes a perfect bow. back bent, head forward, and feet trying to catch up. Not one with the firm, graceful step, erect head, et raii; lit shoulders. eay arms, and hand-, to be acquired by sufficient de termination to present a dignified car riage. When will deportment be taught in our schools? Kingston Free- II1UII. Henry's Had Taste. Miss Porcine "I'm afraid, Henry, that our engagement must be broken. Papa and mamma are both very angry with you." Henry "For heaven's sake, Clara, what have I done to otl'end them?" Miss Porcine "It is all on account of the conversation you had with mamma the other night." Henry "Why, I spoke of your father in the highest terms." 'Miss Porcine "Yes; you said he 'bristles with good sense.' You know papa is at the stock yards, and mamma thought your allusion to 'bristles sim ply dreadful taste." America. Fanntleroy in Real Life. "Come iii here wid yez this minit before ye, spbile yer Fauntillerry clothes'.- shouted tho fond mother to her freckled-faced son. "Vis. dearest." " 'Ave yez been bavin' a good toime widout yer mother?" 'Ms, dearest." "An" phat av yez been doin' ?" "Shtonin" Miss McGulley's pig, dear est, and callin' rats to the po-leece. But I wor always t'inkin' ov yez and lovin' yez with all uie heart." Wash ingtou Critic. To the Few It May Interest. It has been estimated that we get a complete new outfit of brains about every two months. The duratiou of a nerve's life is about sixty days. Each nerve cell has its own independent functions, subordinate to the higher functions of the whole brain "en masse," :u,d the latter acts as a sort of bos or overseer to the individual ac tions ami life of each separate cell. Every cell is destroyed and renewed every two months, so we can get six brand new brains per year. Medical World. l.angston, Oklahoma, has one white nan. WOMAN'S SPHERE. They talk about a woman's sphere. As though It b d a limit: There's not a place lu earth or heaven. There's not a task to mankind given. There's not a Messing or a woe. There's not a whisper yes or no. There's not a life, or death, or birth. That has a feathi-r's weight otwotrb, w iihout a woman in It. HIE WHITE WAND AND THE GOLDEN STAR. laid to a Child. BT A 8. BOTD. Once upon a time there was a crest tree that grew by the river just outside the village, and the children used to some and play under it. It was so very tsll that they thought the branches t the top must touch the sky, and it was said that if any one climbed to the very highest branch of that tree and out off one of the white wands that grew there he could reach nt to the sky and bring down with it a golden tar. And whoever did this might get whatever he wished for, even the dear est wish of his heart. Well, of all the children who now played nnder the tree not one had ever tried to climb it. There was, indeed, an old, old story of somebody who had, long ago, made the attempt; he went up a little way jnst high enongh for the leaves to hide nearly all the ground under Death, but he got frightened, so be came down and said that it was im possible to go to the top. But there was a boy called Martin Hazel who often looked np into the green branches of the tree, and some times he would stop playing for such a long time, and would keep looking np so earnestly, that the other boys nd the girls would begin to tease him ,...1 ad, jf he thought he could climb high. ic-s" he said, "I think I can!" At last one day he said to himself, I must try." Then some of the bovs helped him on to the lowest branch, and he began to climb, and climb, and climb. He had not thought it was quite so difficult a task, but he did not allow himself to rest very often on the way, and at last he reached the top. How strange it was to be there! So lonely and so quiet; there was not a sound from tue village tar down below, not even the shouts of the children conld reach so high. And the branches of the tree spread oat so widely that he sould see nothing beneath him but end less green leaves, while over his head the stars were shining in the blue sky, ind around him as he stood on the highest branch were the wands of pure white. His hand grasi ed one of them, and he took the strong knit'e which his father had given him on his birth day and he cut that one off. Then he reached up to the skv with the white wand, and he could scarcely believe his eyes when he saw that on the end of it he had brought down one of the golden stars which he had chosen. with this wonderful thing really his, he felt very happy, for he thought how the boys and Kirls would admire him, how proud his mother wonld be, and how his father wonld praise him for xjing such a brave fellow. Then down the tree he catre. Going downwards was not difficult, and Mar tin did not take long to reach the lower branches. Beneath him he conld see the children still playing. Then the crackling of a branch made them look np, and, with something like a scream of fright, they all ran away. Mar tin smiled, and as his feet once more touched the grass, he looked ronnd to see what had made the chil dren run away. He could see noth ing to be afraid of, and he heard no sound except the singing of the birds and the noise of the sheep as they cropped the grass. And as he listened the clock began to chime in the old church steeple. It was disappointing that the boys had not waited to see him come down with the white wand in his hand, and the golden star glittering at the end of it, but that made him all the more f?cr to hurry home and tell his mother. .Near his mother's door, which was at the entrance to the village, Martin saw some children whom he did not know. While he was wondering who they conld be for strangers were not often seen in this place they turned away with a langh that was nearly a cry and ran down the street. Then he went to the opened door of his mother's honse, and a woman he had never seen before,whowassittingby the fire insido, with a babv on her knee, looked np and said sharply, "Nothing to-day." "Where's my mother?" said Martin. 'Your mother!" and the woman laughed. "Yes, my own mother, and my father; this is our house.' "This is tny honsVSaid the woman, "and was my mother's house ever since old Betsy died, years ago." Betsy is my mother's name; father calls her Betsy." "That may be, that may be, but there's nobody of that name here," said this cross won. an. Then she turned Martin rather ronchly from the door, and shut it behind him with a bang. There was a shont of laughter m the street. It was the time wnen the 'A my young men were coming home after '. having finished their day's work in the ' fields. They had seen some one pnshed out of a house, and had heard a door slam, and they thought it was a good ; joke, so they laughed again. "Hallo, old man, who has been ill- j using yon?" they asked, as they gathered round the boy who had been turned from the door of his mother's 1 honse. Martin looked round, but he saw no old man. Then one of the young fel lows tapped him on the shoulder, and said: "They'll give yon nothing in that house." "I don't want anything," said Mar tin: "that is our house, and I have something to tell ray mother." How the young men laughed! "Yes, yon are strangers and yon don't know her, and you don't know me; bnt she'll be glad I'm down safely from the top of the tree; and with thin I'm going to make her happy." He held out his white wand with the golden star glittering on the end of it, but to the yonng men it seemed only a plain stick. So they looked at one another seriously as if they were sorry for him, and they said "Poor old man!" Then they left him. and he walked along the street, for the sun was set ting and it was near the time when he should go to meet his father coming from his work. The people stood at their doors and stared at him curiously as he passed. He knew none of them and none of them spoke to him; so he felt troubled. Then he met a very old woman. It was at last some one he knew old Margaret, the grandmother of one of ithe little girls who played every day at the foot of the tree. Ho stopped her. "Hid Mary tell yon I had gone up tho tree to-day?" "What Mary?" asked tho old wo man. "Mary Woc.d, your own grandchild, who lives with yon," sai l Maitin. " am Mary Wood, ami I've no grandchild left," said the old woman. "But do you not know me?" "I never" saw you before," said Mary Wood. "But I went up the great tree this morning, and I've got tho white waud and the golden star!" "What tree?' "The great tree by the river, where we always plav," said Martin. "Ah, now I do remember" said tho old woman; "there ws a boy I knew who climbed np the great tree as we used to call it. That was a long timo ao when we were little children. Ho never came back again." "What did they call the boy?" "What did they call him"? Dear, dear! what did they call him? Ah, yes. Hazel was his name, Martin Hazel, and he lived in that very house, with bis father and mother: but they are dead these many, many years, and Mar tin never came back. No, he never came back." Then Martin felt all at once that tha old woman spoke of him, and that he himself was older even than she was. For in climbing the tree ho had for gotten about everything and every body; in his eagerness quite forgetting that Time was passing, and that it was a long, long distance from the foot to the top of tho tree. But Time was passing all the same, and had in pass ing left its mark as strongly on Martin as on everybody else, lie looked at his hands they were thin and yel low; he saw that his clothes were worn; his back and his knees were bent. The years that had gone by had seemed to him only one day; that day was now nearly over. He was all that remained of the strong boy who climbed the tree for the wonderful treasure at the top, and, now that the treasure was his, there was nobody who knew him to say, " v ell done" nobody left who could take pleasure in his prize. Ihen sadly, and with a hoavy heart, he walked slowly back throngh the vil lage in which he was born, where no body knew him and where ho knew nobody. Wandering on, his steps led him back to the foot of the great tree. Here ho sat down, and because the world was empty of all the faces he had cared to look at, he bowed his head and wept. As he thought of his old friends he wished with all his heart that he might see them and be happy with them again. And while he was crying and longing, with the white wnnd in his hand and the golden star glittering on the top of it, he was gen tly lifted np, and np, and up, till the golden star found its own place in the sky. And there the white wand grew into a lovely flower that would never wither. And there he saw his father nd his mother; and everybody he loved was there; and nothing was there but perfect happiness. And so he got what he had wished for. even the dearest wish of his heart "Wasn't it a pity mother," said the little listener, "that Martin stayed so long away?" "Yes, it was sad. Bnt you see, when one is busy trying to get that thing he wishes, he nearly always neglects other things that are much more worth hav ing. Then, when it is too late, be finds that the happiness he missed wonld have been far greater than any pleasnre he has, because the object he strove so hard to gain turns out to be of very little value after all." "Well, mother, I wouldn't stay away from you all that time for anything." "I think, my boy, yon had better not promise that Yon have yoar tree to oUmb yetl" -.l!' ' - cj 1 ;-v''T JIacaulej's Picture of Oneen Elizabeth.? " 'Elizabeth was now in her twenty fifth year. Personally, she had much of her mother's beauty; her figure was commanding, her face long, but queenly and intelligent; her eye quick and fine. She had grown up, amidst the liberal culture of Henry's Court, a bold horsewoman, a good shot, a graceful dancer, a skilled mu sician, and an accomplished scholar. She read every morning a portion 01 Demosthenes, and could "rub up her rusty Greek" at need to bandy pedantry with a vice-chancellor. Hut she was far from being a mere pedant. The new literature which was springing up around her found constant welcome in her court. She spoke Italian and French as fluenty as her mother tougne. She was familiar with Ariosto a-id Ta-so. In spite of the affectation of her style, and her taste for anagrams and puerilities, she listened wi;h delight to the "Faery Queen," and found a smile for "Master-Spenser" when he appeared in the presence. Her moral temper recalled in its strange contrasts the mixed blood within tier veins. She was at once the daughter of Henry and of Ann Boleyn. From her father she in herited her frank and hearty address, her love of popularity and of free inter course with the people, her dauntless courage, and her amazing self-confidence. Her harsh, manlike voice, her impetuous will, her pride, her furious outbursts of anger, came to her with her Tudor blood. She rated nobles as if they were school-boys; she met the insolence of Essex with a box on the ear; she would break now and then into the gravest deliberations to swear at her ministers like a fish wife.' The Sanctity of the Czar. The present emperor of llus-ea is a man of truly noble character, thoroughly honest in purpose, sin cerely religious, kind in heart, and most disinterestedly solicitous for the welfare of his country. There is, however, ono strange apparent contra diction in his character, which may yet have sinister results. The tsar is not gifted with the extraordinary intelli gence which would be de-irable in his position. No man is more modest to his personal merits and ability, but there is no man in this world so im pressed with his o.vn importance, in tho peculiar light in w hich he views himself, as the divinely appointed head of the only true faith, and of a speci ally chosen people. The most devo:eil of husbands, he is yet ever conscious that his wife, born a foreigner of alien faith, remains outside the pale, ami consequently the empress has as little influence in his counsels as if she were a stranger to him. The office of ts:u is, he considers, a holy office; no other mortal than the holder of ti.nt office .s on anything approaching the same ex alted level. Any real or supposed slight or injury to the chosen pe .pi-.-, the liussians to their semi-di iie he:id. the tsar or 10 the only true faith, the orthodox Crock faith will immediately rouse all that is stubborn in the character of Alexander III., ami will be promptly avenged. A lover ol peace, he will nevertheless, without a moment's hesitation, plunge his coun try into di-astrous war, against any odds, to fulfill what he considers to be his sacred duties. This is the real ami treat danger which threatens the worle through Alexander Ill.'s belief in .hi sanctity of h's own person. Some Magazine Salaries'. Mr. (Jilder of the Century is p:n(' . 10,000 a year and has an interest be tides. Mr. Alden of Harpers receiver about the same salary, but has no pro prietorship. Mr. P.urlingaiiio ol Scribner's is also paid a generous sal ary. Mr. Aldrich of the Atlantic re ceives a more moderate income, but his duties are less burdensome since hi has only letter-press and no illustra tions to look after, which mnks a won derful difference in an editor's duties. The Ladies' Home .lournal has foi several years paid its editor 10,ihji. per vear. Mr. Metcalf of the Foi un. receives also a large salary and is s stockholder in tho magazine besides. The editors of the North Amerirai Hcview and the Cosmopolitan are als the owners, and thus derive their in come from the profits, or share tin losses either of which is probable. A good business manager, he who car control a profitable advertising patron age and knows how to boom the circu lation of the tnagazine-is an invalu able man and at pre-ent is a scarci commodity. Such a man can command and easily get from $7,000 to 10,oi a year, and is worth it, if he be tin rifrht man men, for example, liki Mr. Doubleday (ot Scribner's), Mr. Ilazen (of the Centurv). Mr. Seymoin (of Harper's) or Mr. Seaman (of tin Cassclls) . He Is a Stayer. The oldest man in the world is a citi zen of Bogota in the Republic of ."a Salvador. This new Methuselah declares tha he is 180 years old, and it would seen he flatters himself, for his neighbor give the assurance that he is older thai he says he is. He is a half-breed, named Micha Solis, whose existence was revealed l. Dr. Louis Hernandez by one of tin oldest planters in the locality, who a a child knew Solis as a eenienarian. They have found in the year 17 IS his signature among those of person who contributed to the building of 11 Franciscan convent which exists neai San Sebastian. His skin is like parchment, his I0112 hair, of the whiteuess of snow, envel ops his head like a turban, and his look is so keen that it made a disagreeable impression on the Doctor. Interrogated by the Doctor, he an swered complaisantly that his great age was due to his regular mode of living, and to his never giving up to any excess of any sort whatever. "I never eat but once a day," said he, "but I never use any but the strongest and most nouri-hing foods. My meals last a half-hour, for 1 believe it is impossible to eat m re in that time than the body can digest in twenty-four hours. I fast the first and fifteenth day of each month, and on those days I drink as much water as I can bear. I always let my food become cold before I touch it. It is to these things that I attribute my great age. Statistic as to Hunchbacks, T'nyesn ago this rtonth, in De cember 1879, a remarkabla cha-rT 1 ied in P ris. He was known &'. k er Frpnce and the greater part of all Fu- rop as "The Learned Hunchback." He was very wealthy, and spent a mint of money in the last fifty ears of his life, travelling in all directions making researches concerning his henchbacked brethren. It was in the milder p rtions of Europe that ho found the misfortune most preva ent. Spain supplied the greater number, and in a circumscribed locality at the foot of the Sierra Morena ho lou d that there was one humpoacked per son to every thirteen inhabitants. They wore also found to be quite nu merous in tho valle ' of the Loire iu Fran.e. The little humpbacked sta tistician came to the cone usion that there was one humpback in each 1.000 inhabitants, or au aggregate of 1,000, 000 against the est.matei thousand millions of the entire ea-th. After tho oeath of this ecccr.tric in dividual his heirs found in place of a will a voluminous manuscript of 2.00J pages, all oncoming humps. The last page, although it said nothing 80011'. the disposition f property, expressed the author's wish to have a hump of marble raised ever his grave, with this In-cription: '-Here lies a humpback who had a taste for hum s, and who knew more about them than any other humpLack." St. Louis Republic. ''Latest Intelligence.'' He was a reporter of a local news paper. He came into the oflice of tho distri t postmaster, as was his wont, and asked if there was any news. "No, nothing much," carelessly re plied one of the officia's. "Have you heard of the new order?" "What new order?" eagerly asked the reporter, making a move for his pencil. "Why, that the postmaster-general is not going to issuo the postal cards any longer.'' "Where did you get vour informa tion?" "Well, we haven't any official in formation yet; but we know it is so." "That will be a great hardship to the poor." ventured the reporter. 'I don't see how it will," replied the official. "1 suppose it is i?onc on account of the loss on the letter postage?" "No, that isn't the -reason tho post master decided not to make them any longer," spoke up another official. "Well, what is the reason, then?" asked tho now desperate reporter. "Why, simply because they are lonsr enough now! The postmaster-general anil the people are very well satisfied with the present length." Tho door slammed hard as tho re porter went out. The Rotary Snow Plow. Tho use of the Colorado Midland's rotary snow shovel on the Denver, rexas and Fort Worth seems to have sreated a mild seusation. A local paper says: "lt was put to work in a big cut where the snow was about 20 feet deep and made excellent headway, ihrowing an avalauche of snow 60 feet into the air at every revolution of ;he great plow, which literally bored itself through a mass as compact as ?and. When alxuit the center of the :ut, a strange eight was witnessed. 1 hose who were standing on either ;ide of the plow were suddenly ieluged with a shower of beef steaks. ')n all sides fell porterhouse, sirloin, round steaks, small steaks, shoulder -teaks, with occasionally a slice of liver or a nicely cut rib roast. It was thought at hist that the engine had left he track and was boring its way through a butcher sh p. Investiga tion, however, disclosed tho fact that a herd of Texas cattle had crowded into the cut and had frozen and been buried n the drifts. Manager Meek imme liately declared that no well-rcgula'ed road should bo without a rotary snow plow." Eighty Miles An Honr. A remarkable time record was made on Ieceuiber 1 last on the Southern Pacific Railroad. On that day a special train, consisting of two cars containing officers of the Atchison, Topcka & San ta Fe Railroad, was run over the Southern Pacific lines from Bukers fi Id to I.athrop, a distance of I'l'O miles, leaving the former place atO: and reaching the latter at 1:18; 1.. total time was thus 4 hours, 17 mi -utcs, but of this time 33 minutes were lost in making four stops and iu slow ing down on account of a broken frog at a station, making the actual running time for the 2'.'0 miles only 222 min utes, and it is claimed that even this ou!d have been improved had not the road-bed been in poor condition, ow ing to recent, heavy rains. It is claimed that this is tue longest run ever mad" in this country at a speed of CO miles an hour, and speaking from memory and without consulting the records we think that the claim is justified. The greatest speed attained tor a single mile was between Berenda and Merced, where one mile was made iu 4." seconds, or at the rate of 80 miles an hour. The best time for a stretch of several miles was Tulare to Coshen Junction, lO.o miles, which, as shown by the despatchor's sheet, was tnadn in exactly 8 minutes. Assuming the speed to have been uniform, this was at the rato of one mile in 45.7 seconds, or 78 3-4 miles an hour. The Unman Family. Tho human family to-day consists of About 1.430, 000,000 individuals. In Asia, where man was first planted, there are now about 800,000.000; on an average, 120 t the square miic. In F:u;ope there are 320,000,000, aver sgieg loo to the square mile. In Africa there are 210,000,000. In America. North and South, there are 110,000,000, relatively thinly scattered and recent. In the islands, large and small, probably 10,000,000. The ex ti ernes of the white and black are as live to hree, the remaining 70 ',000,000 being intermediate brown and tawny. All shoe9 for evening or promenade wear are made with lower heels than last eea-son. A discharged o'lor'ster in an Ohio town took revenae on the congregation by sitting in a pew and purposely sing ing out of tune. How God Teaches the Birds. On the Island of Java grows a tree, the leaves of which are said to be a deadly poison to all venoniuus reptiles. The odor of the leaf is so offen-ive to the whole snake family that if they oome near the plant in their travels, they immediately turn about and take an opposite direction. A traveller on toe Island noticed, one day, a peculiar flattering and cry of distress fr m a bird lush above his h ad. Looking np he s iw a mother bird hovering round a nest of It' tie ones in suon a frightened an I perplex ed man:.er as to c inse him to s ou an I examine into the trouble. Going aroun t to the other side of the tree he found a large snake ctimbmg slowly np the tree in the direct on of the little nest. It was beyond his reach; and, since he could not help the little feathered songster by ileal ng a death-blow, h 1 eat down to see the resnlt of the attack. Soon the piteous cry of the bird ceased and he thocght, "Can it be possible she has left her younir to their fate, and has flown awav to seek her owd safety?" No; for ngain he heard the fluttering of wiugs, and, lot king np saw her tly into the tree with a large It af from this tree of poison und carefully s:rea l it over her little ones Then, aliiihtincr ! on a branch high . liove her uest, she quietly watohed t.:e approach of h r enemy. His Uidy writhing bod crept slowiy along, nearer and sti.l nea er, until within a foot of tho nest; then, just as lie opened his month to take iu bis dainty iiulo breakfast, down he went to the trronud as suildenlv as l' though a bulb t h id gone t"ir tig a his head, and burr ed off into the jnugie bevond. I'he little birds wore unharmed; and as the mother-bird flew down and spread her wins over them, the pois n leaf (poison only to the suai-ei feil at the teet of the traveller; and he lelt, na never before, the force 01 the wor s, "Are t.ot two sparrow sold for a farth ing? yet no one of them Fha 1 fall to ti e ground without yonr Father;" for who but He who made the der litt e birds could have told this one the poivi r there was in this little leaf. (rooil Word a. Kow CuDld 13 Traduced. The bashful youug man who, at the critical moment, never has the courage to inopo.se to the blushing maiden, may cuter up, for he is no longer compelled to ask a giips hand In marriage. All he has to do tuw Is to seek out of tic three or four matrimonial agencies in the city, pay a retainer and the whole affair is arianged. So extensive has the "trade" become that the majority of the agencies have been compel.ed to hire lmni'-nse quar ters and a large force of clerks of both sexes. 1 o say that all conduct their bulsness on au bon at basis Is untrue. Several ot them are penny catchers of the lir-t water. One of them makes a. sjiecialty of v a jIdjj "fako" aJs iu the lersonal columns of a certain newspa per, lt Is either a 'young wjuia i with tlO.i 00 ;n I er own right" who wants a husband or ".1 young man with a business worth fl.j.iOO a year'' who seeks a life companion. Of course he or she givei a f etit'ous name and addresSj expect ing all the time to get an answer from some love-sighing advertiser. Iustead, there conies a cheap looking chcuhir, which reads: Your letter replying to our matri monial advertisement has been receive-'. The advertisement was Inserted by 11s for one of our patrons, whose descrip tion will be shown you free of charge, if you call, or a copy of the desci Iptiou will be sent to you by mail for twenty cents. If you desire your letter re turned, or should jou comply with our terms and wish the iic 1uai.1t.1uce of the irson referred to, this circular must be returned with your request. The "terms" are lathfr astounding and give a fair Idea of the profits ot tue business. Humid marriage result from the introduct on, the agency s to receive the income of the appli cants for one-half month. In no case is the fee less than 10. This is not all. Correspond'-nce between pari es can only be carried on through the agency. This calls for the rental of a letter box in its office and t! e payment of a fee, and a' so one for readdressing the letters. Gentlemen who positively require that the lady they marry possess prop erty pay an additional advance feeol$2 for each $1,000 iequlrel not in excess of ?." 00'i,aud $1 for tach S1.000 m ex ess of -- '00. One fictitious name to each person is allowed free, but for more than one, or for chunking the name, the charge Is 50 ents. i'or th benefit of the tineduc ted the agency will write lelt -rs for Its patrons, arrange for correspondence between conge ial people, and otherwise use its great knowledge in such delicate matters, at the rate of i0 c uts a let ter. When a personal interview is desired, the fura of 81 must be seLt to the agency, or coure, and the pa ty de siring the introduction inr.st covenant to pay all ttie car fares. A". 1'. Mail and J'xtrt .. A HastUng Western City. It is hard to realize in the conserva tive, slow-moving East that, on the edge of the Black Hills of western South Dakota, in ten years there has sprung from a mere nothing a city of over live thousand inhabitants. You will find in this little city which ap propriately assumes the name of Rapid City schools, newspapers, water sup ply system, twomilesof street cars.eiee tric lighting, and a "brick jail." which the local papers speak of with pride. These papers go on further to claim $.'O0,000 capital invested there, purely in mercantile pursuits, and .270,OOC as capital in four banks. The reason at tributed for this sudden rise is the wonderful natural location of the place. It came to notice first as a convenient stopping place for coaches, which found the gap there a most available one for crossing the mountains in their trips East and West. It marked the border of the plains and the mountains, there by becoming the most convenient mart for exchanging mining for agricultural products. The stream which ran through the pass gave commerce a slight boost by furnishing power for mills, etc. Large tin mines, extensive forests and good building materials in tensified these natura. advantages, while the absence of any competitive commercial centres finished the con ditions necessary for such a wonderful growth. Never sne ik ill of anybody, you can do Just as much execution with a shrug of shoulders or a significant look. ALL SORTS. How tho Funny Men Earn Theii Money. A JIESSAC.E. She wasn't on the playground, he wssnt on the lnwn. The little one was missing and bod time coin itn; on. We huiuetl in the garden, we peeped about to see. It s'.eei init under rose-tree or like he might be." But nothiiig came in answer to our anxious cull I'ntil at length we hastened within the dark euiinc bull. And then upon the stillness there broke a si'very tone The darling mite was utaniliiig before the telephone. Anil softly, as we lisp ueil. rame titrating ilom 11 the stnirs : 'H'lo, Centra! ! I ii r me Heaven. I want to say my prayer." Siiiuey liayre, in The Independent. Proprietor " You don't know any thing! Half the drinks you send up sre spilled. How do you do it?" Bartender " I thi k somebody must give tho dumb waiter a tip." Lowel' Citizen. Stranger (to small boy) "Is yout father home?" Small boy "No, sir. lie went to the cemetery this morn ing." Stranger "When will he re turn?" Small lioy '-lie's gone te stay." Life. rublUhor '-I wish you would write ns a good sea story." Creat Author "I!ut I have never been to sea." Pub lisher '-1 know it. I want a sea story that people can understand." New York Weekly. Lady (in furniture store, to new clerk) "Where arc those handsome sideboards that you hud last week?" Clerk (embarra-sed) "Oh. 1 er I shaved them off day afore yesterday, "ua'ain." Life. Man (To friend) "Weil. sir. 1 never saw a woman who can do as much work as my wife. Ity Ceorge, she is a reguiar machine." Friond "Oh, I see. You married a type-writer." Arkansaw Trav. ler Cashier I see by the papers that the Montreal carnival will not be held this ve:ir. President So I understand. Had you thought of going up? Cashier Oh, no. Had von? Frorr Puck. Mis P.erg Poor little thing! Why do you keep him tied up like that? Mis Conwell He passed the night with papa in the library just after mam na's hat bill came and he's been swearing horribly ever since. From Judge. Foreigner Yen you Americans vish to get rid of a man. vat you do rish him not place him in exile nst-ce oa? American O. no; we just elect him Yice-l'resident. From the Lawrence American. Charlie "Will you o out with me o-night. siter?" Charlotte "I can't dear boy. I havo an engagement." 'There goes the door-boll, now." "Yes, that is my engagement ring. Good-bye." Yonkers Statesman. One on The Lecture lhtreaus. "We had a little trouble making up a lectnie course this yeai ," said one of the com mittee in a college town. "becaua we are securing our speaker through two breweries, and their dates are apt to conflict. Brooklyn Eagle. Waiter " Very sorry, sab. but we haven't any veal. Yea. is mighty scarce dis time of year, an' we bavn't no veal for a wi ck. Can I bring you anything elae sali?" Juest (hastily) "Yes: double order of chicken salad." New Yolk Woekly. I'lamely "Fighting old Spearmint rs hard as ever, I supp se." Urighlman "No, I've Luried my grudge against him." Fhimely "Now. that's Christ ianlike, old man. When did you bury the hatchet?" Brightman "Last Tuesday, when vc buried him." Lowell Mail. Tliank-Tal. The King of Annum, a country ol southeastern Asia, now under the pro. tectorate of France, is a boy nine year? old, Thank-Tai by name. He is but nominal sovereign, with very littlt power, but the Annamites and the French masters of the country pay hiu' royal honors. He is said to be a rather melancholy youth, much given to day-dreams. This is not very strange, erhaps, since he lives almost alone. He stuilies not a little, however, and lately, when one of his tutors in reading to him out of an Oriental book of philosophy, fa.ter ed and stumbled iu attempting to ex plain a passage, the child-king said to him, seriously, but without severity; "Had you not better, before under taking to explain those books, look them over and see whether you com prehend them yourself?" The tutor, much distressed at this mild rebuke, stammered out an apolo gy, and, gathering up bis books, went away to carry out Thank-Tai's sugges tion. In order to brighten the young king's existence, the French government re cently gent to him from Paris a numlier joftoysof a very interesting and in , penious sort. j Irevioiis to their arrival. King ; Thank-Tai had no other way of amus jing himself than by watching, hour after hour, the red goldfishes swim ming abont in a small pond near his chamber. It is hoped that the play things will somewhat relieve his ten j dency to melancholy. The oldest church in Europe Is said 07 some who axe discussing the question to be St. Martin's, Canterbury, England, which was built as a church before the end of the fourth century. St Mary Id-Jie-Castle, Dover, was built about this time, but for nearly 200 years it wai" ised as a garrison fuel depot. The people in India look upon soap is a curiosity, and lt can hardly be Knight of any shopkeeper. The amount ;onsumed last year was only 5100 tons, vhicb, taken with tbe enormous popu ation of that country, would give an tverage of but about one ounce to each lerson. NEWS IN BRIEF. reppe r cost $75 an ounce In Henry TIL'S reign. Pie for breakfast Is a gradually dis appearing custom in Xew England. A rose cultivated In Philadelphia measured 17 inches In width. Dentists say that it is a physical Im possibility to set diamonds iu teeth. H was thirty-two years ago that the first d InElng fountain was opened in Loudon. Sot a newsparer was printed In Japan twenty-five years ao, but 2,000 are printed now, A railroad In the Ar .entiue repub lic h is one stretch of 211 miles without a curve or bridge. A naverhill man, the proud pos sessor of twins, has named one Simul and the other T ncous. (iermany's production of silver In 190 was 770.000 po .ads, about 9 per cent, of the worlu's product. Captain Herman Koppereold of Waldoboro. Me., has a fife that was tooted at the battle of Bunker Hill. -InlfsHtheO A. R could claim only 30,000 members, but in 1S79 it had increased to almost 400 000. The first dictionary was c .implied by Pa-out-she, a learned Ch-naman, who lived in the year 1,100 B. C. To forgive when we have forgotten is easy; to forgive when we know we can never forget Is noble. The Arabian year is a lunar one, and in the course of .'12 years each month runs through all of the sea sons. A Kansas boy who earned a Bible for memorizing verses at onre traded the look for a shotgun and proceeded to shoot his aunt. Keepers of insane asylums say that crary women as a rule are much small er than the male patients and require closer watch ng. Don't rob your wife all your life time iu order to make some provl-ion for her in easj you should be first taken Hway. Twenty thousand words have bten added to the Kngli.su l.mguae la the department ot biology since Darwin's discoveries. It is no usual thing for a vessel ply ing between Japan and San Franoiso to bring 1,100,000 fans as a single item ol its cargo. The New York end of the Brook lyn bridge proper is founded on bed rock ; the Biooklyn end of the bridge roier rests on clay. A convict out In Ohio in giving his wife a parting kiss slipped into her mouth a note telling her where some of h s booty was concealed. An orange tree only four Inches high at Yut a City, Ua'., litis borne ajierfect ly formed orange about the size of a currant. -A Saratoga (N. T.) woman whose hair turned white when she reached 50, finds now, as she approaches 70, that it is turning black again. The number or changes which can be played upon a chime of bells is won derful! Twelve bells will allow no less than 470,091,000 changes. Charles Mover, of Stouchburg, Peon., having found a nest full of quail's egg placed them under a bantam hen and now has the bantam and ten quails roaming over the farm. Until an enttrprlslng citizen start ed a steam gust mill recently the Maine town of Mercer had never heard the sound of a steam whistle. Ribbons to bold fan) are fastened to the shoulders with a bow, and are long enough to fall nearly to the ground, the fan being carried in the band. Sir William Thompson condemns :he single wire system of elee'ric light ing shipboard, on the ground that, in spite of every care the compasses are affected. ilen who are constantly going around trying to borrow a quartet fhould be interested to know that the Bank of England l as reduced its dis count rates to 3 per ceut. Baron Krupp hesitates about exhib iting some or bis tiig guns at he world's fair. It would cost him S250. 000, and his market over h re can sever 'je very extensive. All the inhabitants of Sherwood, Mich., went hunting after a lost lioy the other day. After a few anxious hours he was found in retirement ncoveilng from the effects of his first cigarette. The city of Jacksonville, Fla , protect catfish in the riveras scavengers. It is a $5 flue to catch one them, and the fish feem to know it. The rivet is full of them, and they vary in siZ9 from a baby to a 200-pound man. I The highest me;eorological station '. In Europe is on the top of the Sonnblick, j in Austria. It is 10,103 "eet above the ' 1- vei of the sea. The ollest station of the same character is at Pekin. China. I It was founded in the year 1279, and I still contains three ot the original ln ; struments. A California valley more wonderful than the Yo?eraite, except in the mat ter of waterfalls, is sa'd to have been d scovt-red in K'ngs Blver Canon, above the far-famed Yoeemite A Liverpool, England, man re cently sentenced to five yfars penal ser vltude for obtainln n a shilling (2.j cents) under the pretext tl at it was V be ust t for a charitable purpose. TICKING OUT A ROGUE. When asked which is the more ex pressive and telling feature, the eyes or the mouth. Inspector Byrnes taid that in his opinion there was no choice. "A man can look me in the eye and tell me the straightest possible story. It is all nonsense to say that a man cannot tell a lie without flinching. The biggest rogue unhung can teh seemingly honest story. "I would not, however, give much for a detective who could not pick a thief out of respectable men. Tho thief cannot for tho life of him he.p liking anxious and otherwise. In endeavoring to appear perfectly at ease he overacts his part and givef himself dead away. "Just for all the world as a detec tive gives himself away in a crowd a thief can always pick out a detective, for the latter too cannot keep from looking wise and concerned. The man who has nothing on his mind is perfectly careless and indifferent. Not so the detective and the thief, and thuy can usually recognize each other," f. I A li