1 rr-)T-rr , ml .,,., ,.u,n-.riiILlirrir.-, ,, ., ,
. " "' " " '"" ..ill-. ,i.r-i i... .mTT
- - . v . , ; - v..-, - , -- - """"" wiwMw.wHmniiimm.wMiwitHwwi
iiwl i gr y iiei ml geplieii.
H. P. 8QHWEIER,
VOL. XLIV.
TAhBY AXTJ OH.
Oat la the uttfht, on th high broad faa.
Singing Um kd( of their kv loteaa,
Are Tabby and Tom.
Wbat though the (hot and brickbat tyf
T hat though the neighbor, for tlanghur erf
They dream wrapt up In each other's aoala,
or think of time a ft oaward roll.
Ti no occasion for fear or atrlfe,
Tia a romance a acaudal of falls Ufa.
They ccom to docur the projectile burled.
They are monarch of this great midnlsta
world-
They .It all ntrot on the nigh board fence
And lug the ong of their love Intense
Do Tabby and Tom.
TV.
If the young Indie of this great turf
glorious country were not so attract!-,
a they are, a great many young mi
would never go to church. Somervilli
Journal.
The line must be drawn somewhere
Mr. Woolly. If a man Insists oi
wearing a flannel shirt, he is lucky il
It isn't drawn around hi neck.
ruck.
It is stated that our naval force a!
r?mo "consist of one admiral, twt
mcer and rive men." The Xavy De
jartruent ahould send on two more of
fleer. o that in cage of mutiny th
force will be equally divided.
Life.
He knew. Mr. Hibred "What d
you suppose the bard referred to whet
he wrote of the 'slippered pantaloon?1
Mrs. Slapdash "Keally, I have i
idea." "I bet you I know!" Mj
on you were not spoken to."
Truth.
Reasonable. Wife "Can you givt
me some money, John, dear?" Hue
baud "What do you want it for?
W. "I want to buy a new twitch at
the hair store." II. "I see; yoe
want me to make a contribution fa th
fresh hair fund." Boston Courier.
Refreshing names Old Soaker
Can you recommend some bead
where I can go without striking a mis
erable, dry, prohibitory desert?
Friendly "Lee" a see. Juniper, Rys
or Bar Harbor would seem to ofl'er you
choice of evils. " Lowell Citizen.
"See here. Mr. Grocer," said a Hart
ford housewife, "if you are going ti
bring uie any more goods I want then:
to be f the very best." "We keep
none but the best." "I presume so.
But you sell the worst in order to keep
the best." Hartford Tost.
Would-be purchaser "These cigar;
are much smaller than usual." Tobac
conist "Yes; you see, the cigai
manufacturer noticed that the last two
inches of the cigar are always throws
away, so he makes them now thai
iiuch shorter." a sion Gazette.
A Moving Plaint George "WiD
you" Alice "Oh, George, this is
o sudden." George "Not a bit ol
it. That hairpin of yours has been
sticking into my shoulder for the last
twenty minutes, and I can't stand it
any longer. Will you please move
little ?" Lawrence American.
Twisted history Sunday school
teacher "And now, Johnny Hapgood,
it s your turn. What did his fathei
do when the prodigal son returned?"
Johnny (who can't help reading th
sporting editions of the daily press)
"Please, sir, he jumped on bis neck
ud kissed him." Puck.
Young Harduppe "But don't yon
think you could learn to love me? It
there no hope?" Ancient heiress "I
am afraid not, Mr. Harduppe. My
heart was lost when I was but a young
girl." Mr. Harduppe "But you
oughtn't to count what happened be
fore the war." Terre Haute Express.
Reason Dethroned. Judge "Did
you ever notice any signs of insanity
in the deceased?" Witness (a mem
ber of the Legislature) "Well, once,
when he was a member of the Legis
lature, he introduced a bill that wasu'l
a particle of interest to anybody ei--ept
taxpayers." Xew York Weekly.
And I want to say, 'To my hus
band,' in an appropriate place," said
the widow in conclusion to Slab, the
gravestone man. "Yessum," said
Slab. And the inscription went on:
"To my husband, iu an appropriate
place." Chicago Liar.
Xot Her Size. Customer from Seed
villa "Do you keep the best make ol
shoes here?" City Dealer "Yaas
our shoes are all A No. 1." Cus
tomer from Seedville "Then yo
cah't suit me. I take B 2fo. ft."
Munsey's Weekly.
Miss Hortense (of Boston): "In
deed, I can hardly look into the deep
opalescent amethyst of the star-bespangled
midnight sky without recall
ing Rosetti's 'thin, blue flames of soul
on their way to Heaven. Then, too
the soulf ulness of inner mentality ii
grand! Have you ever read SuIly'
Psychology?"' Mr. Charles (also ol
Boston) "No; but I think I shall
first chance I get, since he did up Kil
rain in such great shape 1" Light.
A Capitalist.
Where did you spend your Tac
tlon, anyway, Smith?" asked Jonee
casually.
"Spent it at home," replied Smith
" I eouldnt afford to go anywhere thi
year."
Is that so?- said Smith, promptly
You're In luck, old man. Lend ml
re floll will you ?" gousarvtfli
ftanwl. '
THE PASHA'S BIG GAME
HOW VON MOLTKK CHECK
MATED HIM.
i Game of Chess Between Two NoUbl
Hen.
On a summer afternoon almost fifty
years ago, Sulejiuann Pasha, commander-in-chief
of the Egyptian artillery,
sat at a cafe on the Xile terrace iu
Cairo. At tables near him were man;
soldiers who had helped him fight th
ate of Sultan Mahmud not mam
mouths before. Several of them had
been with him in the battle of izib.
When he routed the Turkish army un
der Ilafiz Pasha and Col. von Moltke.
then in the Sultan s service. Bui
Sulejmann was not thinking of the
soldier about him, nor of Hafu
Pasha, nor Col. von Moltke, nor tht
battle of Xizib. His whole attention
was concentrated on a chessboard be
fore him.
Sulejmann Pasha was a famous
chess player. In the rirst few weckf
after his return to Cairo he had beaten
dozens of times L'lema Rescind Aga.
formerly the champion chess p!yer ol
northern Egypt. He regarded hit
reputation as a chess player as some
what akin to his reputation as a war
rior. He considered chces to be pre
eminently a soldier's game, and nevet
tired of making elaborate comparisons
between strategy on the chessboard
and strategy on the field of battle.
Every afternoon he met Ulema Res
chid Aga on the Nile terrace and but
him two or three games.
On this particular afternoon, almost
flfty years ago, Ulema Reschid Aga
was a little late in coming to his Water
loo, and Sulejmann Pasha was having a
preliminary skirmish with himself
while awaiting his opponent's arrival.
His diversion was interrupted by the
appearance on the terrace of a long,
gaunt, bony young stranger. The
stranger strolled right up to the Pallia's
table, and after making a half-military
salute, said so loudly that every one on
the terrace could hear:
"Pasha, I challenge ou to a game
of chess."
All the officers on the terrace sat
quite still and stared at the thin, pale
young man who stood before their
great commander. The. Pasha looked
him over curiously.
'I am at your service," was his
answer, after a long pause. "How
high do you usually play?"
"You fix the stakes, Pash."
'Well, a hundred ducat will cot be
too much."
The stranger nodded and sat dowu.
The lots were cast. The game was
begun. All the officers in the cafe left
their coffee to crowd around the players.
The first few moves convinced them
that the long bony fingers of the stran
ger had moved chess many times be
fore. At the end of twenty minutes
the Pasha's eyes suddenly brightened
and he smiled. He had an iuvincible
combination. He placed his queen be
fore his opponent's queen. The offi
cers began to grumble, for they thought
their commander had lost his head.
Only Reschid Aga, who in the mean
time had joined the crowd of specta
tors, looked happy. He had guessed
his friend's combination, and he, too,
was sure that it was invincible.
"He will take the queen," comment
ed the spectators.
"Then he will be checkmated in
eight moves," whispered back Reschild
Aga, his eyes fixed on the board.
"And if he doesn't take her?'
"He will lose his own," aid the ex
champion. The stranger moved a paw n. Sulej
mann took his queen. The officers
thought it was all up with the gaunt
young man, and started back to their
coffee. They were called back, how
ever, by the first words the Pasha's op
ponent had spoken since he eat down
o the table.
Pasha, in twelve moves you will be
checkmated."
The interest of the Pasha's friends
became intense. They counted each
move aloud. One two threw four
and the Pasha was already hard
pressed. Five six seven eight
nine and his men were hemmed in on
all sides. Ten the Pasha tried in vain
to break the blockade by sacrificing his
queen. Eleven he drew back his
king into a corner. Twelve "Check
mate." There was a dead silence, all stared
at the Pasha. He thought hard for
several minutes, without a word.
Then he looked searchiiigly at the
stranger and said :
"Once before I have seen chess played
as you play it. Your strategy is not
new to me, although I cannot cope
with it. The game that your playing
reminds me of was much finer than
this. It was played with cavalry and
infantry and heavy artillery, till the
ground shook under our feet. The
great chess player from the North who
was then against me had 150,000 men.
In his hand they were invincible.
The mad and envious interference of
HatU Pasha ruined his combinations,
however, and, happily for our sids,
gave us the game."
The Fasha stopped a moment to
scrutinize the stranger's face. It was
expressionless. Then he said:
Young man, you remind me of
chat great cheee playe- from the Fortb
rrbo all bat routed as at Ni M JZ
THE CONSTITUTION THE UNION AND
MIFFLINTOWN,
foutefl me here. . Only one man Ta tL
world can play chess like that. Ha Is
Dol. Ton Moltke.
"YoU have it " tnsnxul h.
rtranger, reaching the Pasha his hand J
tcross me chess-table, "I am Moltke."
Crews as Street Cleaners.
The city of Omaha has in its ser
vice a force of thousands of scavengers,
who draw no pay, report to no official,
ut are protected by law from molesta
ion. They are the crows who flock into
own as regularly as cold weather
wines, stay during the winter, and
vanish in the Spring. Each evening
s he shadows fall, legions of crows
wing their way in a seemingly endless
light to the willow copses and clumps
f small cottouwood trees on the banks
f the Missouri, where they roost for
he night. A favorite haunt is at the
5end of the river between Cut Off and
Florence Lakes, where the banks
ihelter them from the northwest wind.
Die air is thick with sable wing and
resonant with hoarse caws there after
innset each night, as the scavengers
tettle down among the branches to
Iream of back area lunches and carrion
spreads.
With the break of day the sable
lock bestirs itself. Each member hops
0 warm iu chilled legs, stretches its
diiny wings, and heads back towards
:he city. The vast flock breaks into
iraall groups, aud they alight here and
ihere on the tree tops and survey the
3ack yards and alleys until they can
pick out foraging places. Then they
lescend, and in short order the re
anains of the breakfasts, the scraps of
-neat from markets, and the rats killed
y household dogs aud cats are
lobbied up. Some crows do scaven
ger work about the residences. Others
ilight cautiously in the alleys, and
nhers are attracted to the stock yards
ind packing houses. Omaha World
Receipt Preferred te a Personal Touchei
There was a commotion at the
:lerk's desk in the Esex Market
Police Court. The clerk was holding
1 discussion with a blear-eyed m"
ver the rail.
" Now, what's the matter with that
nan?" demanded Judge Duffy sternly.
If you please, your honor just
ined me $10 for getting drunk. I've
.mid me hard-earned money and '
-ant a receipt."
" You don't need a receipt," replied
lie court. " Your discharge is receipt
inough. No one could hold you op
lie charge again."
Yes, your honor; but I hope to go
:o Heaven some time, and on judgment
lay when the recording angel comes to
:his charge against me he may not
se willing to take my word for it tha'
paid for my sin to you."
The court was disconcerted for an
n-tant; then the reply came: "Oh.
I'll vouch for you?"
" Ah, sir, but I fear you will not be
cre, and they will not grant me time
:o go down and look over the directory
f the bad place to find your address."
" Give that man a receipt and take
iitn out," shouted the court, lustily,
ind the shattered fellow shambled
tway, hugging the paper to his ragged
xsom. New York World.
Esqcimaux Tobogganing'.
The Esquimaux on land journey
jften encounter hills where it would
be very daugerons to attempt a descent
with a heavily loaded sled drawn by
logs. When 6ucb a place is reached
:hcy unhitch the dogs and let the sled
descend by iu own weight. All the
Ben act as brakes to prevent, if possi
ble, a descent so rapid as to land the
qui page a complete wreck at the bot
tom. The two strongest of the drivers
take their places on the sides at the
front of the sled, and the others hold
sn where they can ; all pull back as
strongly as possible when the speed in
creases. Some plant their feet in front
of them and send the snow flying as if
from a snow plow. Others find them
selves taking leaps that would astonish
a kangaroo, are dragged furiously
along, or, maybe, come rolling to the
bottom after the sled. The dogs regard
the whole affair as a joke, and with
their traees tied together come dashing
along in the wild chase, some barking
joyously, others yelping distressedly,
as, caught in the traces, they are drag
ged to the foot of the hill by their reck
less companions. It often seemed a
wonder when, even with all our ex
ertions, we could land sled and party
at the bottom in safety.
Do Horses Reason.
A friend thinks his does. He drove
him to a watering trough the other day
into which some one had thrown the
stump of an old broom. The horse
held back his head in disgust, but
presently took the unoffending broom
between his teeth and threw it from
the trongh. Then he held back his
head and waited for the water to run
clear. Presently he smelled of it, but
still not being satisfied he waited again,
and yet again. Finally he put his nose
into the water and swashed it around,
apparently to slop out all impurities
before he consented to drink. How
uow did she horse know that the water
would run pare? It must have been
the result ef observation and memory.
All horses know enough to refuse to
drink impure water. If men were as
particular as to what they ami u
arvtl be bettfiT t-J then.
JUNIATA COUNTY.
A3 ESULISH ED1TUC
!
something About Editor Stead of tht'
Pall Mall (iazette.
In Ev;land the editor of a news
paper has no such interesting personal
ity as he has here. Nobody takes the
slightest interest in hii. No matter
what the influence or (Sinl.i:ion of a
Journal, the name of tWe editor is rare
ly asked for. The two notable ex
ceptions, who prove this rule, are Sir
Edwin Arnold, of the Dailv Telegraph,
and W. T. Stead, of the Pall Mull Ua
sette. Of these two, Stead is by far
the most notorious, for he has the
most striking ersonality. The Pali
Mall Gazette is the ons sensatioual
daily of Loudon, and many a sensa
tion it has made. One of them lauded
Stead in prison and fame. "That was
everything to me everything to me,r
be was wont to say in his nervous,
rapid way. "Why, do you know, a
woman told me that she and a lot of
other women way off on the Cape of
Good Hope used to have a prayer
meeting for me every day. Since then
Stead has never dropped below the
public horrizon for more than a week
at a time. No one gave such attention
to the Maybrick cae, or managed to
gather so many little interesting items
of sensational interest regarding it.
No one keeps such a sharp look out on
public events, or moral lapse; no one
makes so mnch of his material, or 6o
arouses public scorn aud sense of jus
tice. A man of social standing who fln.U
himself on the verge of being impli
cated in an unsavory scandal, thinks
shiveringly of the Pall Mall Gazette,
before he does of the witness stand.
Stead has a motive in sensationalism
aside from love of notoriety and the
sale of his paper. He is a religious
man, fanatically so. and is powerfully
impressed with the idea that he has a
mission in life. That mission is tn ex
pose sin and promote virtue, am. he
"mkes for righteousness," to quote
his own pet expr -ssicn, for all he is
worth. His energy and enterprise are
phenomenal. No celebrity living has
ever put his or her foot in England
without being interviewed by Stead,
and there are few iu Europe whom be
has not managed to meet some time or
other, lie may never print these in
terviews, he may stow them away in a
room kept for the purpose, but sooner
or later they hive their value. He
works ten hours a day. The first to
reach his office, he is the last to leave
it, and during that time he superin
tends ever- article that goes into bis
paper, writes every leader, reads and
replies to a correspondence which flows
in like waves of air, and receives in
numerable visitors.
In appearance he is short, wiry,
active, with a line head, and bright,
restless, china-blue eyes. When a visitor
is shown into his private office in the
little alley off the Strand, he makes a
grab for his hand and rattles along
with such volubility, darting from one
subject to another, haranguing, preach
ing, laying down the law, advising,
reproving, that the bewildered visitor
forgeu bis errand which is probably
what Stead intends. All the time his
blue eyes dart needles right into one's
very soul. Stead thus knows his man,
without being obliged to he'.r hini talk.
Suddenly he springs to bis feet, grabs
your hand strain, and, when he is in
one of his more inexplicable moods,
bursts into peal after peal of laughter,
which echoes after you as you grope
through the labyrinthine corridors, as
you stumble down the rotting stair
ease, and into the narrow little street.
It is reported that 6tead will sever his
connection v.ith the Pall Mall Gazette
In the spring, come to this country,
studv American journalism and return
to London to establish a paper whose
Idea, original with himself, will atsur- j
edly be like no other of which the '
world has ever dreamed.
Sen. Forrest's Last and Lncky $10.
Speaking of Gen. Forrest, the caT
alry hero of tLe war, who killed
more men with his sabre thai any
other one soldier on either side, he
returned to Memphis after the surren
der with his w f e, and with only a (W
gle 10 bill in his pocket. Mrs. Foi
rest was a lady of the roost quiet, ami
able Christian virtues, and the only
person, by the way, who had any con
trol of the '-wizard of the saddle''
while in a passion. One touch of her
gentle hand, one soft, tender word,
would calm bis most tempestuous
moods.
Sitting alote together the night o
their return to Memphis, Gen. Forrest
said: "Mary, 1 know yon are a strict
church member, and have always op
pose! cards. But this $10 is ail there
is on earth between us and the poor
house. Won't you consent to my go
ing out tonight and hunting up a game
of draw?
In vain the good woman protested.
It was a sin in the sight of God, she
said, and sin could not finally prosper.
He went, found the party he wanted,
aud began the game. The cards ran
bis way from the first, and his win
nings grew so large that he set his
beaver on the floor beside him and
used it as a depository. About two
o'clock in the morning he lifted his
tile, bent his head down, and aced
the hat carefully on it, retailing the
money in it. Reaching home he
emptied his winnings into Mrs. For
rest's lap, saying: "Mary, count it."
She fou d that he had upwards of
Cl.oOO a sum which gave him a gooU
stA't in life. Florida Tinies-Uniou.
A Millionaire Author.
One of the interesting developments
ot late is the so-called "millionaire lit
erature;" books from a mercantile en
vironment. William Waldorf Astor
tn Sforza, a Story of Milan, published
by Scribners, has put out a must ex
cellent piece of literary woi k. Sfotva
is as interesting story. It tells of the
chivalrous days iu Northern Italy and
th plot swings along bctreen such
Caoouaating chapters as the School of
la Sword, Between Red TUlars, The
l!al ef the Signoria, and Lag Lario.
It iac of virtually the same atmosphere
s Valentino, a Brother of the Bor
guan, by the same author, pilhhahed in
l.t'Si, and which reached a etJs of over
VvIiW) copies. Mr. As tor is toll, broad
smtrulderVd, muscular, blue eyes, light
aver, and heavy mo4ac.i. He is in
& prime of a perfectly fcca!tky life.
Be is interesting and animated in con
swreation, has a smiling and expresive
Caoe, and unlike the average New York
anlllicnaire, is companionable and at
sVays approachable. -
THE ENFORCEMENT
PENN A.. WEDNESDAY. NOVEMBER 12. 1890.
TIME'S REVENGES.
Tears, year ago, when I was young,
I loved a fair and gentle maiden ;
Ber praise day and night I sung,
My heart with deepest passion laden-;
But, learning that (he loved me not,
I did not drop a tear or quaver.
But bowed to my unhappy lot,
And wooed another lweet enslaver
How quickly time doth turn the scene
With wonders strange and changes pleaty
My pretty girl is just eighteen,
My first love's boy is four-and-twenty.
Her child loves mine. How merrily
I'll lead his hopes unto the (laughter I
UU mother would not marry me,
Aud I'll not let him wed my daughter
Nathan M. Levy In Harper" ( Bazar.
COOK AND COUNTESS.
Patty Cowslip, the only daughter ol
Rev. Peter Cowslip, vicar of Muddes-Worth-in-the-Marsh,
was a pretty girl.
She was so pretty that she might havt
actually aspired, though she hadn't s
penny in the world, to marry a fash,
louable curate. But though Patty was
penniless, she was ambitious, and she
hadn't the slightest idea of marrying
the most fashionable of curates.
It is not necessary to describe what
fatty was like. "Rather above than
below the ordinary height," as novel
ists say, rich chestnut hair with a glinl
of gold in it, an excellent figure, small
ears, brown eyes with dark eyebrows,
pearly teeth set in the rosy frame of a
pair of lips arched like Cupid's bow,
a round and dimpled chin, a swan-like
neck . Bah! we have all once in our
lives met somebody as charming as Mise
Patty Cowslip; but, as a rule, the ex.
perience has not been repeated. We
must not forget, though, that Miss
Patty's arms and hands were het
strong point; a queen might have en
vied them, for they were absolutely
perfect.
Miss Patty Cowslip had had a de
cent education, but beyond the annual
subsidy of 10 a year which the par
ish payed her for playing the organ,
she hadn't a penny in the world.
Rev. Peter Cowslip was as poor as a
rat. With considerable difficulty he
managed to pay his tradesmen at the
year's end; but Rev. Teter dined every
day much better than many million
aires. And why? Was it on account
of the poor clergyman's wicked ex
travagance? Not a bit of it. The
fact is that Patty was a splendid cook
a born genius for the noblest of the
kits.
Many modern young ladies, having
purchased a terra cotta jar and rendered
It hideous with daubs of paint, compel
their friends to fall down and worship
It, and call it art ; other girls torment
us with the piano, violin, banjo, harp,
sackbut, psaltry, dulcimer and all kinds
of music ; other girls sing. All these
people work their wicked wills upon
us with impunity. We grin; we say
"Oh, thank you so much," because we
are obliged to do that; and our polite
oess is treated as an encore, and then
our sufferings recommence. Pretty
Patty Cowslip did none of these dread
ful things ; but she could cook like
Cde, Francatelli and Soyer rolled into
one. And pretty Patty went up to
(own, entered the school of cooker-,
and came out as the senior wrangler of
the year. It was Patty first, the rest
nowhere. M. Caramel, the professor
f ornamental pastry, proposed to her
st once ; but Patty refused him, for,
as we have said, she was ambitious.
And then Miss Cowslip issued a neat
dttle advertisement, took modest lodg
ings in a modest West end street, and
eegan to teach on her own account.
Lord Fleshpotts was a widowed
aobleman. He had three unmarried
laughters the Ladies Gwendoline,
Ermyntrude, and Ermyngarde Casser
le. His lordship was a great sufl'erer
from indigestion, and he was dying of
sad dinners. No cook ever stayed
ar.ore than a month in his house; each
f his daughters ruled the roast for a
week, and generally the particular
foung lady who happened to be re-pon-lible
for the dinner on any given even
ing left the room in tears before the
lessert was put upon the table. If
Lord Fleshpotts would only have dined
it his club, all might have been well ;
ut he persisted in dining at home, and
;he lives of his daughters were slow
nartyrdoms.
It chanced one day that they saw
l4iss Cowslip's advertisement in the
5t James Gazette. Lady Gwendo
ite pointed it out to her sisters. They
rdered the carriage early the next
Homing, and they were ushered into
Hiss Patty's neat little sitting room iu
Park street. "We don't want to take
essons. Miss Cowslip," faid Lady
Gwendoline. "We're too stupid,"
aid Lady Ermyngarde. "And it
vould be no use," said Lady Erinyn
rude. "But oh! Miss Cowslip, could
lot you come every morning and give
is a few hinU, for pa is wasting visi
dy 1" cried the eldest girl.
"Its novelty that poor papa re
luires," sobbed the youngest daughter
-"refreshing novelty and perpetual
:hange. Those are his very words,
tliss Cowslip, his cruel, heartless
rords."
'Has Lord Fleshpotts ever tasted ap
le dumplings?" asked Patty Cowslip
lemnly.
"It's a platej never heard of," ex
laimed Lady Gwendoline.
"They were a favorite dish with
lis Majesty King George toe Third,"
(marked Fatty the historian,"
OF THE LAWS.
"And we've never even heard ol
them!" sighed Lady Ermyntrude.
So it was arranged that Patty war
toome the next day and teach there
how to make apple-dumplins, foi
which she was to receive a fee of out
guinea; and as a personal favor she
wrjte them a charming little menu, iu
winch among the sweet dishes appear
ed the item "Apple dtmplings a 1
George Trois."
At 2 o'clock the next day Miss Cow
slip was shown into their ladyships'
boudoir. A clean white cloth, by
Patty's direction, was laid upon the
round table in the centre of the room ;
flour, water, a dish of apples, some
brown sugar, some cloves, a pastry
board and a basin were brouglit in by
Adolphus John, the six feet footman,
and then each of the six Ladies Cas
serole, provided with a silver knife,
began to peel an apple.
Poor things, they couldnt even do
that properly. But Patty Cowslip,
who had taken off her hat aud gloves,
laid aside her jacket and donned a
natty little Swiss apron trimmed with
Russian embroidery, rolled up her
leeves and displayed her magnificent
arms, and demonstrated tho proper
way to peel an apple, to the delight,
astonishment and admiration of the
Ladies Casserole ; and when she was
in the middle of the process the door
opened, and Lord Fleshpotts entered
he room.
"Pa," said Lady Gwendoline, "allow
me to introduce to you Miss Cowslip,
who has kindly consented to givo us a
few lessons."
"My dear young lady!" cried his
lordship, "do I speak to the talented
authoress of the charming menu I hold
in my hand? Ever since it met my
eyes I have felt a new sensation. I've
eaten no lunch. I am reserving my
self for your most delectable little din
ner. But you have aroused my curi.
osity as well as my appetite. What on
earth are apple dumplings a la George
Trois? It is a dish I have never met
in the whole course of my vast experi
ence." ("She's got the most lovely
arms and hands," he thought, "that J
ever saw in my life! ")
Patty smiled. ("What teeth?""
thought his lord-hip.)
"You shall see them mada, Lord
Fleshpotts," 6iiid Patty, "if you car
to look on."
"If I care 1 It will be the proudesi
privilege of my life. My dear Gwen
doline," said the earl, "I could water,
the movements of your charming
friend forever."
"Pa!" cried the Ladies Casserole, it
an astonislid and indignant chorus.
And then Prof. Patty divided be.
apples ito quarters, and then sh
made the paste and cut it into th
requisite-sized squares. And Lord
Fleshpotts looked on with rcspectfu;
admiration; for he couldn-'t take hii
eyes off her magnificent hands and
arms. "If," he thought, "that shapely
creature would only prepare my meal;
forever, life would still have charms.
I can't ask her to be my oxek, foi
she's a lady. Gad! when I look at
her I feel myself growing young
again."
Just then Patty completed the first
dumpling.
"What do you think of that, Lord
Fleshpotts?" she said, as she displayed
the little white sphere on her extended
I.n.
"My dear young lady," 6aid Lord
Fleshpotts, gazing at her arm aud hand,
"it's a dream of loveliness.
"Your lordship is laughing at me,'
said Miss Patty.
"I'm not, I assure you I" burst in
the enamored peer; "I could eat it
raw."
And then the three ladies Casserole
simultaneously began to hate Prof.
Putty with a deadly hatred.
But Miss Cows-Vp hadn't couie to
Eaton square to waste he? time. She
turned out the rest of the ?pple dump
lings with the celerity of a practised
hand. She took no further notice of
his lordship, but she pocketed her
guinea, which lady Gwendoline tend
ered wrapped in the conventional
piece of tissue paper, and took her
leave.
The dinner that evening in Eaton
square was for once a success, and
Lord Freshpotts was helped three times
to apple drpling a la George Trois.
The next day, when Miss Cowslip
arrived at Eaton square, she was shown
into his lordship's study.
"My dear young lady," cried Lord
Fleshpotts, as he advanced with ex
tended hands. "I'm delighted to see
you! Words fail ire," he added, in a
broken voice, "to sufficiently express
my appreciation of your beauty and
accomplishments. The crispness of the
crust, my dear madam they were
baked dumplings, was indescribable.
I have one question to ask you, Miss
Cowslip. AVillyoubemy wife?"
Patty Cowslip felt as if the room
was going txotmd with her.
The enamored peer dropped upon
His knees.
"If the devotion of a lifetime," he
'egan.
"Don't, Lord Fleshpotts !" said Patty
You've found the way to my heart,
i,iy darling"
-
The second Lady Fleshpotts is a
fery popular person, and her dinners
,c e celebrated. She has married oS
er three step-daughters to Mustard,
Uan anA Furniture., rcaoectivalv. sjbvI
-he lakes tje most cluuiui care of l
husband.
Hi? lordship's bill, the British cort
compulsory education act, come i
for first reading at an early date; a:
the young Countess of Fleshpotts h:
promised to give evidence at the roy;
commission which is expected tobeaj
poiutcd upon the subject.
Uow Hair-Cloth is Made.
Many people understand, of cours
how hair-cloth is made, but for the et
ification of those who do not, we wi
explain the process. In the first plac
hrse-hair cannot be dyed. It repe'
coloring matter; so to make blac
hair-cloth it is necessary to secure na
ural black htir. The horses, in man
cases, absolutely wild, running utin
strained, are regularly corralled aii
shorn. Of course black hair is prefei
able, but sometimes grey hair is uti
ized. Not only the tails, but also th
manes are cut ; the hair is bunchet
These bunches seldom contain hairs o
less length than two feet, some at
even three aud three aud a ha!
feet, and the thickness of the bunche
is usually two or three inches. Th
hair-cloth looms are provided wit
what we may call a nipper, iu place o
a shuttle, and the nipper is so tin el
actuated that it travels ucross the war;
and seizes from the bunches one hai
only, the jaws of the nipper being to.
fine to grasp more than one, and car
ries it across the weft threads, droppinj
it into its exact place. The actiou o
the loom mechanically forces the hai
next to its predecessor, the war
crosses upon it, snugly holds it in it
place, the nipper travels back aut
seizes another, and so on and on. Thi
delicacy and almost human accuracy
with which each separate hair is place
between the warp threads is really iu
credible.
Death Rather Than Unhappy Marriage
The Coroner held au inquest a
Jeffersonville, on the remains of Misi
Annie Berry, who, ou account of dis
appointment in love, ended her lif
Tuesday night. The affair is one ol
the saddest, in all its details, that evei
occurred in this city, and the whoh
community was shocked by the trag
dy. Young John Veeley states that h
and Miss Berry were to have beer
married this week, but the ucion wa
prevented by the parents of the youu$
lady, who had determined to make hei
marry the old man, Joan Bowman
The lovers were together on Monday
night, and Miss Berry told Veeley
then of her intention to take her life.
The young mau reasoned with hie
sweetheart, and, before they parted
that night, obtained from her a prom
ise that she would not harm herself.
When he next saw her 6he was in the
agonies of death.
A letter has been found, addressed
to her lover, in which 6he teli9 him
good-by, and acknowledges taking the
poison. The letter continues and says :
"Ma said she would follow me to the
grave rather than see me marry you,
and I guess she will have a chance to
see my body placed beneath the ground.
I will never mairy Bowman. I desire
that you attend my funeral, and re
quest that your photograph be buried
with me." Indianapolis Journal.
An Excellent Joke.
Years ago a Naval chaplain with a
tall hat was passing through the dock
yard gates at Devonport, when one of
the policemen on duty noticed that ho
had a piece of tobacco sticking out un
derneath his bat. The chaplain was
requested to remove his head-covering
for examination ; but he refused. I
"I am au officer in the navy," ht
laid, ''and I consider your request au
insult."
The oflloers were polite but firm.
They were very sorry to put so distin
guished a gentleman to inconvenience;
out their orders were explicit to search
j every person whom they suspected of
:arrying out articles liable to duty.
"I have no contraband," said the
ihaplain, in a rage; "but ae you doubt
my word, I will take off my hat."
He did so, and there was nothing
inside. On the day following the
:haplain passed out again.
"Well," he said with a grin, "would
you like to have me take off my hat
to-day ?"
"Oh, no, thank you, sir," said the
police, with effusion "not to-day! Ha,
ha, ha!"' and they all laughed at what
they considered an excellent joke.
Eut the joke the police did not Eee in
its entirety ; for the chaplain this time
had several hundreds of cigarettes
withiu his hat.
Rather Different.
Chicago Merchant (scowling at book
agent) I have no time to look at your
Bibles. I have forty at home.
Book Agent But you have none like
this. This has a whole page in the
family record for divorces, and"
Chicago Merchant Oh, that's differ
ent. Why didn't you speak up in the
first place? You may leave me a
xuple.
A Matter of Build.
A little girl of this village was cry
ing bitterly the other evening about
omething that laid happened, when
her mother endeavored to soothe her.
She told her to "bush" aad "never
mind" and "stop crying." when the
little one answered between her sobs :
'I c-ean't, maat', 'cause I ain't huilt
i net way.' a.-oj Br.
Editor and Iroprieytr.
NO. 47.
NEWS IS BRIEF.
The anatomist is ti e man who can
give t' e surest "insiue lnf.rmatlin."
Wedding rings bearing counterfeit
"halt marks" ire becoming prevalent
In London.
From twelve to eijh'een suicideson
an average h ive been registered daily
at the Paris Police Office.
The ex-Emperor of Brazd Is occu
pying himself chiefiy with studies iu
Sanscrit, Hebrew, Arabic an l Greek.
A Russian Lieutenant, 22 years ol J,
has just completed a trip by bieol- from
St. l'etersbuig to Paris iuside of thirty
days.
A Chicago pajier savs that George
M.P ullmau 'will build a Jl.W)',0 i i ho
tel at Hyde I'aik iu lin.e lor the W oild'9
Fair.
In Belfast., a few day ago, rieorKe
ilutch'ns dl d from eating graes
and "swallowing both seeds ai.d
Skins."
It is expected that the nun.b r of
bodies creiinted in Mi';in will enon
average one a day, as nearly two thous
and b.ilies have bn cremated tlirie
duriii;; the last thirteen year.-1.
Mrs. O.-far Wiide is a plainly
dressed, pretty little woman with au Im
mense Gainsborough hat, heavy witlr
droop tig plumes.
A Clarion till.) lias uneirtlieJ a cab
toge that weighed eighteen pounds,
measured time fvet in circumference
and one f. ot two Inches in diameter.
It is of the fiat lutjli variety.
F. B. Sarkett ot Heath, F!a.. says
that he l.as fold his eiop of coffee tor
this year, vli'.rh wiil le u'. unit Eve
pounds fro ii one tiee to the Auil.'ii t
urai IVpartmeiu at uahiutoU, lor $5
a pound.
A new toy is a p'nin sheet of paer
on which the tiure of some animal has
been faced w tii an iiiviMl.l- r"ie-iroof
solut'oti. The paper is fet on fire
and burns a.vav, leaving the tiure in
tact. Ou the occasion of the recent fete
at the country seat of a wealthy woman
all ti e cows on the estate were nckla
ces of w .de,ellow satin ribbon and had
their l.ortis Led with narrower ribbon
of the tame color.
The municipality of Genoa has, it
19 reported consented to r-wore the
house iu which Christopher Columbus
lived. It Is rapidly tilling mto
deciy and baa long stood in need of i
pair.
Henry M. Stanley wIU begin his
lecture season in tins country next
um nth. He will find no ho-tue tribe
here. The ureal A ii .riean P"i ket-book
is waiting mipat.e.il'.y for linn to ex
plore it.
A New Il.iven ueiitlciiiau ha' a
co'iple of tame, wasps. Tlu v have
built a nest in his ji.irim a.d liveuu-'.-Im
bed and ttul..-t':: h !:. This is
lha iiir l reason t e- in eet, have occu
pied the same qiiatteiJ.
Wli.le j.a-.-in Blue Canon. Cal.,
the other day, a l.iili. adeu.p oe threw
a piece of coal fi"tn an n.t-'.ia-. killing
a ly taiider. Tin? autlmiities havo
le'e.-el t .e i.i..ro.il man tlcclanurf
that the deUh was accident .1.
--An ordinance iu M'-rl.ng, Conn ,
j exempts blind lers.'iis u-'i'i taxatlan.
I Varm-r iiai hour cla.i.is fx. n;, !i..ii un
i del tl el.iw , a d prove 1 to t . e s ti.-fact-
! ion of an Intel iei.t .1 :ntg- at,d jury
' that, though he could iik.w, hoe and
load hay on a c ill, 1 e was 'tlie H.lid.
-.Tacq'ies I'iroii, a drum-major in the
army ot the lust .Napoleon, .tie.l recent
ly in the Fret oil town ol I. a "-uze at the
me of 101. 11' was hi i. early ail the
bat les of ti .e k're-.t Kuiperor ai d Wits
wounded thlMV-lw I Uine'i Though
a lneie piece of M imical p.dchwoik he
was always in goo 1 l.uiuor and good
ht aitii.
Purir.; September iT certificates of
Etilur bz ilioii v.ne ural. ted to at. ens by
tieiti.tish Home e. r. buy, The for-ei-Tners
came, eleven from Germnny,
b x Horn Hussia, t ne liom A uttria,
two lium Ileum uk, nd Turkey, and
one each from Ru-snu Poland, .-pain
and Sweden.
Dr. Koticharsky, a r"fe-- or of med
icine in St. l'etei-buia.', i on pietedalec
tuie on ac dn, and then pom-d some
drops from a v al in a (;ia-a. Then lie
said to his class: "Attention, young
men! In two minutes you will n. a
man diel Good-by t von alii" Il
drank the liquid, took out hi watch and
counted the bee. nds until he diopped
lead.
Frank A. Whittier, of B ston, is a
suffer, r from a:i alte i pt at an ac.obat
ic fe.it, which le.suited unfortunately.
Whi.e on his way liom Tl oun.soi. vide,
Mass., wh' re he had iu.b 11 inspira
tion, l.e tried to i.miise tl e passeiipei?
ou the aoeomoda! ion train b turning a
b i'k hainl-sprin. lie tuned overall
njht. but in laudiitg on his feet lie frac
tu:ed a small i.oue in his ankle.
Buffaloes are every year ie njing
more and moie scarce, fie la bans are
appio .chinu extei minat ton, and we are
told that Boon tl.eie will be no moie
seals. It may not be lone ts-n,re these,
distinctive products ot t'.iis hemisphere
will have become mere memories. The
World and lis inhabi ants are changing
more rapidly than we iiuigtne, and the
leabty of to-lay becomes merely the
traait.oa of to-morrow.
This j ear's niirmc wars, conducted
in various lands on an implemented
bcale, have not, as a rule, ended in
smoke. A liiioxt every country has l.een
j experiuientiu with smokeless powdf.
) with tlie net result that it will be ovi
i ou ly in univeisal u e at the o-riin.; of
j the next ig war. Ot its iecuiiarit1es
I we tret the most detailed accounts from
i France, where opinions differ as to the
I balance of its bcueli s and shoTt
! comings.
A remarkable proceeding is reported
; from Chicago where a father was ar-
rented tor liot taking out a theatrical
l.ce- se for a l.tle th -afe which his
j children ran in the cellar, charging five
: pins lor au admission.
j I. X. Blankinship, of Marion Mas-.,
; has a clock w hich was ma le in 1732.
I The works are of brass, and the clock
' keeps as nood time as it d:d when it was
made, 10?t ears airo, but the accounts
vary as to the kind of time it kept in
j Several old village.? in Cass County,
. Michigan, have clung to the ancient
custom of ringing the church lells
whenever anyliody dies. The doctors
ay the r uielauch ly tollb g at night
baj depressed many a de-poudeut pa
tient unto death.
' A huge catfis'i was foand alive im
telded in a hollow log in a mill 4am
at Martimlale. It swam in a small
hole when a liille fish and was unable
to find its way out aud grew la tl4
i