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P. BOHWEIER,
THE OONSTITUTION-THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor.
VOL. XLIV.
MIEFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. NUVEMBER5. IS90.
NO. 4(J.
Man Feels Wtca a
Cuu Apples oat His Heavd.
I ance let a professional wordamaa
cat apple in two while I bald thaw. e
my head ana oa tne palm of my hand,
and I'll never do it again, uji a wriur
la the St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Tha
experience i too thrilling for the plain
citizen who is not military la his taste.
I wm with a show when ttv regular
ascistaut of the swordsman went on a
strike. The swordsman waa in a
dreadful fume aa he thought of disap
pointing the crowd of spectator that
night. lie came behind the scenes at
reheatsal and called for a volucUer.
Ill give 126 to the man who'll hold
the apple for me," said he. No on
volunteered, and I daringly put in my
"I'll do it if you give me a re
hearsal. "No rehearsal," said he em
phatically ; it will shatter your nerrea
so that you'll tremble like an aspen leaf
when you oome out at the perform
ance." So I Went out when night came, the
upper part of uy body covered with a
thin silk vest. It was cold, anyway,
and I trembled abominably. He saw
it, but said nothing to me. I held the
apple on my extended hand, and it
ahook. I could feel it shaking, and
felt &sniei. but I couldn't control
the nervousness. 1 turned away my
head; he nimie a few rapid feints, and
I knew by tae applause that the apple
bad fallen. I didn't feel the blade at
U as it cut through. Then I knelt
down and he put another apple on my
reck. I knew this was really danger
ous, for if his hand slipped he might
decapitate me. I shut my eyes. In a
second, which seemed an hour to me,
1 felt a thiu cold liue touch my neck,
md there was more applause.
"In that instant I thought of Mme.
Kolarvl and the guillotine, and came
utmr fainting. He told me to get up,
and I followed him, feeling rather
dated, to the dressing-room. 1 thought
I must U' cut, the touch of the steel
bad been so plainly felt, but the looking-glass
showed me that there was
not a mark on me. But I was awfully
pale. The next night we got a regnLfr
man to hold the apple."
The Son Cure.
Mrs. Mona Cainl, the woman wns
distinguished herself by trying to get
at the world's family affairs through
asking if marriage is a failure, is now
in Austrian Tyrol, undergoing what la
called '-sun cure." This sun cure has
been described to us as a very pleasing
remedy for whatever ails you. It con
sists in drinking grape wine with a
bead on it until you don't know
whether you are a sick man or an in
flated balloon. Then you sleep it off in
the sun, and whea you wake up and
ask for a monkey-wrench to screw
your hat on with, they give yom an
other treatment. We hare it from
persons who have tried it, that next to
taking dinner with Chauncey M. De
pew it is, for the time being, the most
effective cure that has been devised
since the good old days of Med ford
ram in New England. From the lim
ited experience we have had with imi
tation sun cures we are prepared to be
lieve that if Mrs. Calrd only gnziles
enough of the real cure she will reach
a conclusion that everything, even
marriage, Is a howling success.
Let the Young People Werk.
Teach your children that althongn
radgery is not desirable, work should
be sought after. Every moment of
the time should be filled and idleness
unknown. In this way only is happi
ness assured. There must be breaks
In the routine, of course. Sleep is
essential and work has no right to en
croach upon that. Pleasure is neces
sary as a relaxation and must not be
crowded out. There must be plenty of
time for eating and digestion. In
other words, work is used here in the
sense of employment, and means quite
another thing than continual manual
labor or unbroken mental strain.
When one reads of such instance as
the secret suicide of a seventeen-year-old
lad, whose mother was a widow
and who preferred to slip out of the
burdeca and responsibilities of life
rather than work for a living, it indi
cates something entirely wrong in the
education of such youths. Their peo
ple work like drudges and encourage
their idleness until they attain maturity
with a natural indolence which make
them prefer the support of charity, or
that obtaiued by theft, rather than that
gained by honest toll.
The English Sparrew.
The sparrow is no trouble to armer
for he is not a field bird- He prefer
city life. His habit of making hi
home about the houses of men instead
of in the trees and fields is what ha
caused a mean and cowardly war on
him. His preference for roofs and
eaves on city houses slightly disfigure
them and in some places spoils the
rain water, and that is why he is being
killed for a small bounty. The city
folk, and not the farmers, have In
spired this war on the brave and
trusting little bird that seek hi home)
among mew. and alone of all hi tribe)
refuses t fi, aw ' before) the blast
wiu
I.. Urn families It has been found
that ihe clive branch of Peta J
;qual a the wall-msard hickory ye"
Inf.
A TIGER FIGHT, i
4 CLOSK CALL FOR A UlXTtR-3
LI Ft.
Th Monster's Teeth Tsar His Eiad la
Shreds.
Paul Gillett, an old Indian trader
aud hunter of Yuma, has been a con
spicuous figure in the Colorado and
Gila river districts. He has taken part
la a number of severe brushes with the
Apaches and other tribes, but in his
old age, owing to the military force
on the frontier, and the lessening of
Indian difficulties, he is not now de
voting more aUention to hunting. His
eye is yet uudimnied. and though now
nearly seventy years of age, he is
strong and stalwart. It would take a
bowk to tell of bis varied experiences.
Moreover he is inclined not to talk
much of himself. However, he con
sented to tell of a strange experience
he had with a royal Chihuahua tiger,:
an animal of wiiich nothing- is known,
quite so far north as San Francisco.
'You must know," said he, "that
these tigers are the mot beautiful ani
mals in America. They are robust
and seven or eight feet long, a beauti
ful golden color and spotted like a
leopard. The royal tiger of Bensral is
striped and has no dots on him. More
over, his general color is dun, and not
gold, like the tiger of the Aztec races.;
A thorough-going cat in all his move-,
menu, sly and light of tread, and with,
the strength of a Hercules, a man can-i
not afford to fool round too much
when he meets one out under the
Southern pinion trees. It was in Sep
tember that myself, Tim Estabrook
and John Wilkinson were camped at
our mines at the head of Dolores can
yon. A party of Mexicans came in
and reported that they had found an
old Spanish mine a few miles out.
The Spanish mines were, to a great
extent, covered over and concealed at
the time of the Revolution, and many
of them were lost. It was one of
those lost mines that the Mexicans said
they had found. We set off after it..
carrying our express rifles with us, for
we never in that section go unarmed.
for fear of renegade Apaches, let alone
Vicious wild animals.
After an eighteen mile jaunt we
came to the entrance of the mine. The
rarth-covermg had fallen in, and
though wre ck and ruin were all around,
tnere was a gMd-sized aperture, and
we had no difficulty in entering it. We
had advanced about fifty yards iu the
long, desolate tunnel, and if there is
anything desolate iu this world it is the
dark, damp tunnel of a deserted mine.
We carried pine fagots in hand to give
us light, and were moving along in a
stooping posture, as miners go, w hen
all of a sudden I noticed great big
tracks in the soft mud at the bottom.
Good neaven !' said I, "there are
bears in here, and if we don't get ont
we are done for. We beat a hastr
retreat, and reaching open air again
gathered dry beshes and sticks to
smoke them out. We stacked them up
pretty high in the mouth of the tunnel,
and threw dirt on them to cause them
to smoulder and throw the smoke back
ward. Then we sat down with our
guns to await the enemy. We had sat
there fifteen or twenty minutes, aud
were tired of holding our gnns so
long, and began to talk about other
thing. Still nothing came.
W e discussed a variety of subjects,
our attention became entirely relaxed,
and I was in the midst of a story, when
booh I booh! a great golden tiger
leaped over the fire and ns with a great
bound. In a twinkling another, with
the same booh ! booh ! and bigger than
the other, leaped the barrier, collided
against Estabrook, knocked him down
and went flying beyond like a greased
streak of lightning. Every last one of
us forgot his gun and went raring
around trying to find trees to climb.
An old she tiger and two kittens, with
piercing howls, next followed, and
went -imtwrinp up the hillside after
the other two. By this time every one
of us was either perched In a tree or
thinning up a sapling. Our guns
were lying scattered on the ground,
and, old hunters as we were, we were
clearly beaten. Perched in our trees,
after our fright waa over we indulged
in loud shrieks and laughter. The
situation waa too ludicrous. But we
resolved to get after these tigers, and
we did it.
We got a skilled Mexican trader to
go with us, and we trailed them across
gulches, through shrubs, and finally
catching a glimpse of one perched In a
rocky cleft, Wilkinson brought him
down by a shot in the heart. He waa
a very fine one, large and powerful,
and with a magnificent skin. Into the
next eanvon we traced the other tigers.
They travelled almost together, going
only fifteen or twenty feet apart in
places. The Mexican at last corraled
them in a soft limestone mountain,
crumb li n g in pieces like chalk, and
with holes in one side made by weather
and animals. It was their other re
treat. This time, while we made prep
aration to smoke them out, we station
ed ourselves one hundred yards away,
spread far apart so we could get a good
aim at their bodies while they ran.
The first came bounding out like a shot
out of a gun, but we were on the alert
this time, and three bullets pierced him
and laid him low. Then the old one
and her young came along. We shot
into them, wounding the big one, and
she turned on us. Estabrook was
caught and his coat torn off. Turning
to lice, the tiger caught him by the
left hand and put her teeth through it
and crushed it.
The kittens, weighing about one
nundred pounds apiece, would not run,
and advanced to aid the fight. A rifle
bill from one of us crippled one and
laid the other low, and on we rushed,
firing all the while, and to aid of Esta
brook. Some way we missed the
brute. We had to nre witn tne great
est care to keep from hitting the hunter,
'and it seemed tome it was fully five
'minute before we planted the fatal
ball In her. Estabrook was so badly
J maimed bv the teeth of the tiger that
! has never recovered from it. Hi
hand was so torn that two of hi fin-,
ger bung by shreds of flesh, and hi
arm above the wrist was alto lacerated.
Uear and dear and other kind of
ame on the border I have killed in
Lrg number, but there la nothing on
te frontier now so "vicious a this
iger. Estabrook la now at San Bern
kardino. laid op from bis tigar flf-
This Thrash Was Wise.
There is much more intellect in bird
than people suppose, as a recent inci
dent proves. A thrush, not aware of
the expansive properties of gunpowder,
thought proper to build her neat on
the ridge of a quarry, in the very
centre of which they were constantly
blasting rock. At first, she was very
much discomposed by the fragment
flying in all directions, but still ah
would not quit her chosen locality.
She soon observed that a bell rang
whenever a train was about to be fired,
and that at the notice the workmen
retired to ssfe positions. In a few
days, when she heard the bell, she
quilted her exposed situation, and flew
down to where the workmen sheltered
theuitelves, dropping close to their feet.
There she would remain until the ex
plosion had taken place, and then re
turn to her nest. The workmen ob
served this, narrated it to their employ
ers, aud it wm also told to visitors who
came to view the quarry. The visitors
naturally expressed a wish to witneae
so cvious a specimen of intellect; but
as the rock could not be always blasted
when visitors came, the bell was rung
instead, and for a few times answered
the same purpose. The thrush flew
down close to where they stood, but
she perceived that she was trifled with,
and it interfered with the process of
incubation; the consequence was, that,
afterward when the bell rang, she
would peep over the ledge to ascertain
if the workmen did retreat, and if they
did not, she would remain where she
was.
Intelligent Polar Bear.
The female Polar bear is taught by
a wonderful instinct to shelter her
young under the snow. In December
she retreats to the side of a rock, where
by dint of scraping and lettiug the
snow fall upon her, she forms a cell
in which to live during the winter.
There is no fear that she should be
stifled for want of air, for the warmth
of her breath always keeps a small pas
sage open. Within this strange nur
sery she produces her yonng, and re
mains with them beneath the snow
till March, when she comes out into
the open air with her baby bears. A
the only use of the snow burrow is to
shelter the young, the male bears do
not hibernate like the females, but roam
freely about during the winter months.
Before retiring under the snow the
bear eats enormously, so that she be
comes very fat, thus laying in an inter
nal store of food, which enables her
not ouly to support her own life, but
to nourish her young daring her long
seclusion. By an admirable provision
of nature the youug Polar bears are
extremely small at birth, and grow
slowly so long as they are in their crys
tal nursery, thus needing little food
nd space. When they emerge from
their shelter the mother bear is ex
tremely thin and very fierce.
Outwitting the Teacher.
It requires a prettr smart school,
teacher nowadays to gc any the best
of a modern "kid." This was never
more fully demonstrated than it was
the other day, right here in one of
the Chicago schools. In some of the
schools the old-fashioned and unnat
ural method of teaching free-arm
writing is employed, and the children
are obliged to twist their hands over
unnaturally in order to obtain the free
arm movement. In order to insure
this position, the teacher place a small
shirt-button on the back of each little
right hand, as piano teachers some
times place pennies on the backs of
their pupils' hands. This is done to
insure the keeping of the hand in the
"correct" position, for if tipped in the
least the button slides off, and thus be
trays the erring scholar. This button
arrangement is quite tiresome to the
children, and they complain of it at
home. The other afternoon a bright
little girl returned from school and
said to her mother: "Mamma, I kept
the button on my hand nearly all day
to-day." The mother expressed some
surprise at such a feat. "Yes," said
the little one, "I gummed it on with a
piece of my gum." Ex.
Confining Jurors from Meat and Drink.
The Gothic natious were famous of
old. in Europe, for the quantities of
food and drink which they consumed.
The ancient Germans, and their Saxon
descendants in England, were remark
able for their hearty meals. Gluttony
and drunkenness Were so very common
that those vices were not thought dis
graceful; and Tacitus represents the
former as capable of being as easily
overcome by strong drink as by arms.
Intemperance was so general and
habitual that no one was thought to be
fit for serious business after dinner;
and nnder this persuasion it was en
acted in the laws that judges should
bear and determine cases fasting, and
not after dinner. An Italion author,
in his "Antiquities." plainly affirms
that this regulation was framed for the
purpose of avoiding the unsound de
crees consequent upon intoxication;
and Dr. Gilbert Stuart ingeniously
observed in Ids "Historical Disserta
tion Concerning the Antiquity of the
British Constitution," that from this
projieusity of the older Britons to in
dulge excessively in eating and drink
ing proceeded the restriction upon
jurors and iiirymen to refrain from
meat and drink, and to be even held in
custody, until they had agreed upon
their verdict.
Brother and Sisters.
Brothers and sisters are all the bet
ter for sharing one another's studies
and games up to a certain point. The
girl who can handle a tennis racket and
a croquet mallet vindicates her right to
consideration. The boys will never
speak of her as "only a girl," and she
will be all the franker and none the
less sweet for a healthy mixture of
work and play. Good comradeship
between bro hers and sister is a thing
much to be desired ; it saves the girls
from prudery and the boy from boor
ishness, sweetens the natures of both,
and acts by restrai-dng every one from
doing or saying what would be shame
ful in the eyes of the "other side."
Hew His Father Fixed IU
Teacher Why, Johnny I Cant you
understand that a part 1 smaller than
a whole? Jfow, for example, If your
father wants to sell a whole piece of
cloth and ha only three-quarter of a
place, what doe b dol
Johnny (without hesitation Ha
HIGH CLASS SUICIDE
HOW HARA-KIRI IS PER FORM EL
or JAPAN.
A. Great Deal of Carsmony About tit
DL
Harakiri, peculiar mode of suicide,
in the eyes of the nobility of Japan
the most dignified and honorable way
of all violent deaths, the only means of
restoring honor, revenge being impos
sible, has seldom been witnessed by
European or American eyes. As the
word "harakiri" has crept into Ameri
can politics, writes Albert de Leur, an
explanation of its meauiiig in Japan
may be interesting, aud the reader can
then judge if the adaptation of the
word is allowable.
Duelling is now and ever has been
condemned by intelligent Japanese, as
the uncertainty of its results was con
sidered too hazardous to the settlement
of iu cause. For ages it has been the
custom in Japan, when a Samurai con
sidered himself insulted by one equal
in rank, that the injured party should
proceed to his home, call together his
family and friends, Inform them of
the insult suffered at the hands of his
enemy, and set apart a day upon which
he would revenge himself and restore
the family honor, injured by the words
or ats of his opponent, by committing
"harakiri."
In the first place a rope over two
inches thick made ont of the tendrils
of the lotus flower, was constructed by
the unmarried female members of the
family, and closely drawn around the
house, it being the popular belief that
objectionable spirit would thereby be
prevented from entering during the
ceremony and carrying away the soui
of the suicide. The chamber in which
tne ceremony was to take place was hung
with yellow silk or crape, tho sunlight
arefully excluded, the only illumin
ation allowed being that furnished by
the everlasting light burning in front
f the family god, whose pedestal was
placed about two feet from the north
ern wall of the chamber. A foot-high
platform, about three feet long by two
feet broad, was placed in the centre of
the room, covered with white crape,
and the kahanna (ordinary sword) of
the master of the household laid un-
scabbarded upon the platform, its
point wrapped in a yellow 11111. On
each corner of this platform was placed
a small saucer filled with scented oil In
which a wick was burning.
The family and friends of the noble
to commit suicide entered the room led
by a priest, the latter bearing in hit
hands a full blooming lotus flower
which he deposited across the sword
lying upon the platform, and the spec
tators took seals around the room.
The nobleman then entered, dressed in
pure white garments, with a yellow
colored scarf encircllug his body, and
carrying in hit hand a little saucer in
which burned a wick lighted previous
ly from the everlasting light in front
of the family god.
Behind him cam his eldest son, if
over 5 years of age if not, his near
est rehvive carrying upon a platter of
sandal wood the wakizaski, a dacger
like weapon 9 1-2 inches long and ob
liquely cut on the left side. The bla le
of this lancet-looking weapon waa
wrapped in yellow crape, a lotu Jiwet
being placed upon its hilt. It rally
was an heirloom of the family, and
considered the most valuable article in
its possession. It is the instrument
with which harakiri was always com
mitted. The person to commit this act
would then kneel upon the platform
with his face toward the north and the
wakizaski placed before him. The
priest would take the lotus flower from
the Japanese sword aud cut the leaves
in pieces, strewing the same over the
kneeling man. 4-tter blessing him in
this manner the lights in the corner
saucers were blown out by the priest
and the light carried by the suicide ex
tinguished by the son of the nearest
relative, and the time for the final act
nad come.
After recounting in a solemn voice
the insult suffered by him from his
enemy, he invoked the spirit of his
ancestors to see in what manner he up
held the family honor Intrusted to him
at hi birth, and rising upon his left
knee be would take hold of the wakiza
ski with his left hand, lift up his white
robe with his right hand, wrapping
the end of the yellow sash around his
left wrist, and deliberately and very
slowly insert the dagger-like knife in
to his stomach above the right hip
bone and draw it across until within
four or five inches of his left hip bone.
At the moment he inserted the knife
his next of kin would take the katana
(ordinary sword) aud with a swift
blow sever the head of the suicide from
the trunk.
In every case of this description,
when harakiri waa committed iu de
fence of insulted honor, the insulting
party was informed by the family of
tho suicide of the act performed, by
sending to him a sort of affidavit of
the next of kin of the deceased writ
ten upon yellow paper wrapped in the
leaves of the lotus flower, and if that
gentleman would not be considered a
craven, unfit for association with hono
rable men, he, too, would then commit
haraOri in a somewhat similar manner.
The trouble would thus be settled aud
no further enmity would exist between
the families of the parties interested.
A non-compliance, however, with this
time-honored custom of Japan on the
part of the person who gave the insult
has never been beard of, it is said, in
Uiat country.
A. Considerate Little Boy.
Mother Tommy, I hear yo got a
thrashing in school, today.
Tommy Yes, ma. the teacher
whipped me, but he is getting so old
and weak that it didn't hurt much.
"Did you cry?"
"Oh, yes, 1 bawled so you could
have heard me on the next block."
Why did you do that?"
"I wanted to make the old man feel
happy once more.'' Texas Sittings.
Caught a Sea Devil.
While fishing near Slaughter Beach,
Del., a few days ago, a party of young
men of Milf ord caught a veritable sea
devil. It was nearly 5 feet in length,
S feet 6 inches in width, and had an
immense head. Large fins grew from
each side, while on its head grew a
.long, slender fin. The latter appen
dage was used a a bait to entice
sttaOar fish wbm It burWd it&alf in itm
Winter Is coming. Winter is coming;
Birds know it, skies know it, hearts know
It.
Sleep again, una again, drifted so dtJ
again.
Orel each brave Spring poet.
ilng the old year with his beard of trraj
Be looketb at you so sadly:
Is It a maxjue that the robes of May
Fit bis gauut lim so badly?
Love again, sing again, nest again, young
again."
Hark ! tit a Lear pone crazy
Autumn will soot be Lisa with wine and with
to "i.
And gokleu-rod give for daisy.
Winter b coming, Winter ia coming;
Birda know it, skJs know it, hearts know
It.
Keerj-wlnged snow-bird, fly o'er tba sea
And break the news to the poet.
Grace Duffle Boa.
The Three Doctors.
Smith, Crown and Jones were class
mates in the medical department of
Michigan University. They graduated
at the head of their class, and had
been great friends throughout the
portion of time which it takes to trans
form a raw country lad into a physi
cian. Their professors predicted a
great career for them, and the boys
left the university with high hopes for
the future in a great and noble profes
sion. During their last day at college
they had a consultation together as to
where they would locate. The faintest
hearted of them thought that perhaps
the best thing they could do was to
strike out for the wild West. Go to
Washington Territory, or Dakota, or
Montana, and rrow up with the coun
try. But the braver of the three car
ried the day. He held that there was
no use waiting so long, and practically
exiling themselves for a competence.
"Who," he said, "will be the great
physician of New York ten years from
now?" Nobody could tell. It is
somebody who ia to-day struggling
along, probably burelv making a living.
The city is the place for us, boys. We
may have a year or two of hard grub
bing, but I tell you the city is the spot
in which to grow. When you have
made a country practice, what does it
amount to? It means hard work every
day.in the year. Driving through bad
roads for miles in the country and col
lecting mighty little for it. I know
what a country doctor's Ufa is because
I was raised in the country. Now,
whatever city we select we can be, if
we hang on, in the midst of a big
practice ten years from now. It is
something worth striving for. We
may not get along as well at drat at, w e
would in a country place or village
where there was no doctor, but we are
sure to get more in the end, and to
enjoy then all the advantages of civili
zation." So the boys agreed to start together
in some big city, and Chicago was the
place clio-en. Smith located in a poor
but thickly populated part of the city.
Brown got a spot in an aristocratic
portion of the town, and Jones located
in a street where t lie re were about fifty
doctors, because he believed that where
there were so many he would possibly
stnmble on the business of some wh
already were having more thau the;
could do.
For awhile the boys kept up thei
courage. They knew that they under
stood the profession, aud probably an
derstood it much better than some o
the rich old fogies who were ten o
twenty years behind the times, ant
who had splendid practices. At th
end of a year the boys, who were now
rather sad-eyed young men, met to
(ether to compare notes.
Smith had had any amount of prac
tice. He had been kept on the g
nearly night aud day. At first he like
It because it gave him real experience
which a man could never get in tha
rooms of the clinic, or the wards o'
tha hospital. He had been very success
ful and was extremely well liked bj
the people whom ho had located
among. But, alas! when it came tc
collecting there was a different story
to tell. Men who would not think ol
cheating their grocer or their butcher
never paid a doctor's bill, while many
others cheated uot only butcher and
baker, but everybody else that would
give tliem credit. Practice had been
plentiful but cash was miifhty scarce,
and poor Smith had often been with
out the five cents to get himself a sand
wich. Brown very dolefully reported that
he had not even had the practice. He
bad lived there day by day in his aris
tocratic neighborhood and had nevci
bad a call. The elegant equipages of
successful doctors had passed him anc
repassed him, and had called nex
door, and next block, and next 6treet
but no calls came for Brown. Liff
had only boeu possible for him by
borrowing from some friends and get
ting supplies from homo.
Jones said he had had a few calls tha'
were intended for other doctors, oi
sometimes when the doctor next dooi
was away an emergency case came tc
htm, but he had not been able to keep
his head above water, wd the end ot
the year showed no improvement In
business, and found him poorer than
when he had started out. What wat
to be done? That was the question.
Smith said he was going to bang ol
for another six months, if possible,
and then, if thiugs didu't look better,
he was going to go west. Browr
didn't know whether he could hang oc
any longer or not, and Jones was f re
to confess that he had made up hii
mind to strike for Texas.
'But," he 6aid, with some hpsita
tion, "there has been a propositior
made to me, which I rejected at first,
but since have thought a good dea
about. It won't do any harm to con
sult you in reference to it. I presumt
both of von will feel lust as I die
when the proposition was made U
me."
"Any money in it?" said Brown
"I think there is."
"Ail right," said Smith, "then hU'i
iiave your proposition, Jones. I air
ready for anything snort of petty lat
ceny."
"I shall not tell you what the pro
position is. I shall merely submit yot
to the sautie temptation that has beet
placed before me. If yon meet mi
here to-morrow evening I shall brib
with me tha man who mad the pro
position, and h can talk to yon as la-
talked to me. 'Iheu we can coiiji
together about it."
"Will he bring his burglar's kit with
him?" asked Brown.
"He will bring it along. Also,
dork lantern."
"Then we don't even have to pro
vide ourselves with inaaks?" put in
Smith.
"You provide yourself with noth
ing. He will provide all the imple
ments, aud he can talk a great deal
better than I can, so we will say no
more of it until to-morrow night.' Will
you meet me here at the same hour?"
The rest agreed.
Xext evening, when Smith and
Brown entered the room, they found
sitting with Dr. Jones a very natty,
wide-awake looking stranger, who had
laid on the table a ueat looking haud
ba. Dr. Brown and Dr. Smith," said
Jones, risiug, "allow me to introduce
to you Mr. Kobingon."
"Delighted, I am sure, gentlemen,"
said Mr. Robinson. "Very pleaejd to
meet you, indeed. Dr. Jones tells me
that perhaps you will be prepared to
listeu to a little business proposal
which I have the honor to make to you.
In making this proposal, gentlemen,
let me assure you that 1 have the great
est admiratiou for the three of you, as
I have looked up your records iu the
Michigan University and find they are
first-class. Xow, gentlemen, my rule
in life has been to deal only with first
class peop.e. Only first-class."
"Then you have struck the right
crowd this time," said Brown.
"Yes, gentlemen, I believe I have;
I believe 1 have. And I assure you
the meeting'gives me great pleasure.
Sow, Mr. Jones, I suppose there Is no
objection to my opening right up on
the subject at the first start.''
'XoS the least," said Jones.
"Very well, gentlemen. You have
graduated with high honors at the
Michigan University. You have prac
ticed a year."
"Smith has." said Brown.
"And haven't you?"
"No, 1 have sat in my office for a
year. Smith has been doing the prac
ticing. None of the three of us have
done any collecting, however, and I
am beginning to think that the main
part of the medical profession is the
collecting."
"Gentlemen," said Robinson, look
ing round at the three, "you have
struck it. The main part of anything
is the collecting. You have struck the
main part of every business. Collect
ing, gentlemen, is the soul of business.
Without collecting where would any
business be? Why, gentlemen, the
biggest business in the United States
couldn't stand the strain for a year
without a collection. Well, that makes
what I have to say all the easier. I see
you understand the root of tl.j nafier.
Now lay proposal is this. I have made
a reasonable amount of money in my
short stay here below, and I intend to
make a good deal more before one of
you gentlemen sees me of! to the un
known laud. I want to form a com
pany. I thought first of having a couple
of physicians, but three would be bet
ter. If you gentlemen will place your
selves in my hands 1 will do the entire
business collecting, advertising "
What f" shmited Smith.
"Yes, sir, advertising."
"Did 1 understand you to say," said
Dr. Brown, slowly, "that you intend
to advertise us?"
"Why, certainly I do. Advertise
the three of you. Big newspaper
head. Drs. Brown, Smith and Jones,
or Smith, Brown and Jones, or Jones,
Brown and Smith, I don't care which
way it goes. The three greatest doc
tors in Christendom. Cure every
thing. Cancer, Consumption. Bron
chitis, Catarrh, Dyspepsia. Cure
the man who has had his head blowu
off and the man who has hit finger
broken. Cure anything. Bu "Is of
testimonials. A grateful people es us
out of the last town with a brass
band."
"Or on a fence rail with tar and
feather accompaniment," suggested
Brown.
"Well, if they do," said Robinson,
cheerfully, "we won't need to adver
tise the fact, aud that will be so much
money saved. The dear papers them
selves will mention that without any
trouble. But there is no danger of
tht. We will enter a town, I tell
you, with a boom. We'll make the
regular profession tear its hair. Now,
gentlemen, what I propose is this. I
propose to take this on trial for on
year. You won't be at any expense
at all."
"That's a blessing," said Smith.
'In the present state of our
finances," put in Brown, "a loss of 1 10,-
000 or so would seriously cripple us."
"Very well, gentlemen. We enter,
1 say, the town with a boom. You go
to a first-class hotel, all three of you.
I pay all expenses. We have the pre
liminary announcement in the paper."
"My dear fellow," said Brown, "be
fore you go any further, let me tell
you that a doctor cannot advertise."
"Can't he?" said Robiu-an; what's
the penalty?"
"The penalty?"
"Certainly, what is the legal penalty
of a doctor's advertising? Does he go
to state prison or is he merely fined?"
"Well, there isn't any legal penalty,
of course, but it's against the ethics of
the profession."
Damn th profession," said Robin
son. "Excuse me, geutl;n."
"Oh, we excuse you," said the three
together.
'And we feel like thanking yon,"
said Brown. "The profession hasn't
done very much for ns."
"I pay all bills and take all risks.
We cure consumption"
It can't be done," said Jones.
'Well, at least we can give the very
best treatment that can be given them.
That's one thing. Dr. Smith, of Hei
delberg University, Dr. Jones, of
Edinburgh University, Dr. Brown, of
Ann Arbor."
"But we have only tho Ann Arbor
certificate," objected Brown.
"That don't matter. Get the other
1 11 pay for them. I guess money can
do a good deal. You have got qualifi
cations. We're not cheating anybody
We are going to give them th very
best medical attendance, and I am
going to rake in the patient and tht
ducats. What's the use of you three
fellows immuring yourselves her la
Chicago when you can travel all ovet
the countrv. and travel In Pail mac
oar, and live In the best hoUla, and
drive youx carriage wbaa ya auOM
j "Only Work six months in the year
If you want to, and we will divide the
profits. I'm uot a medical man mv-
self, I m a business man. and I pro-
poe to do this thing on business prin-
- a - x -- J
bt-t t&l?Ilt I nun sainrA 'Vniv fll-ist-o
have the verv latest theories: the latest
methods of treatment, but in ten years
from now you wili be old fogies.
What do you say, gentlemen?"
The doctors consulted for a moment
together, and said:
"We agree to it."
And although tha three do not have
the confidence of the regular profession
they have elegant residences, and fiii6
spans of horses, and big bauk accounts.
A Well Known Writer.
Eugene Field, the talented Chicago
journalist, is thus described by an ad
mirer in the Minneapolis Journal: '-A
smooth-faced gentleman who mifrht be
taken while you wait for a clergy
man or gambler, is Eugene Field. Mr,
Field is the Sharps aud Flats of tho
Chicago News. His father, R. M.
Field, of Missouri, was the attorney
for the negro in the celebrated Dred
Scott case. It was the intenfiou of
Mr Field's parents that he should be
come President of the United Slates,
but the youthful Eugene put a damper
upon that emiueutiy proper ambition
by early evincing au aptitude for the
newspaper business. He received a
college education, polished until it
shone by a six month's visit to Europe.
Here he gained a knowledge of the
French Language that was as bread
cast upon the waters, for when 1'aul
Coquelin and Mme. J. Hading visited
Chicago a few months eo M. Field
was made their official interpreter, lie
was also chiefly responsible for the in
trodnctim of the Hading veil luto thi
county.
Tildec's Marvelous Memory.
Ssn-uel J. Tilden had a marvelous
memory. A friend who was with him
at the time says that while sitting
at the side of tha cask-et In which th
body of Horaco Hreeley reposed Mr,
Tilden recounted "he deathbed 6cene,
with date and plaisjt, aud minute cir
cumstance, of evsry President and
Vice President of the United State.
All the facts he related were a&er
ward verified without execution.
Three Rude Scamps Melt Answered
Two or three idle young i'u were
lounging around a street corner the
other evening just as tho down-town
stores were sending home their em
ployes. "Let's have some fuu with
the girls'." said the ringleader of the
trio. "See that girl in the front seat
of the grip? Let's speak to her I"
Then, as the car stopped at the corner,
the impudent fellow tipped his hat,
with, Why, how do ou do Ki'tv
Johnsou!" "Why," sajs another, "it"
that isn't Kitty Johnson!" -'How
d'ye do, Kitty?" said the third. The
young lady, a young, pretty, ladylike
girl, was surprised and indignant.
Her aoe grew red and white by iiii-ih.
Most of the passengers understood the
situation. Finally, the girl, her eyes
twinkling with merriment. and
consciotfs of the support of her fellow
passengers, answered in a clear, ring
ing voire: that every pnenger could
hear, "Why, how do you do, Toui,
Dick and Harry! When did you get
out of jail? Who went bail for you
all?" The car started up amid a orm
of applause, while the dudes on the
corner smiled sickly grins at each
other. Chicago Journal.
An Accommodating Boss
A gang of men were at work em a
city street when a slight, beardia-s
youth, laid down his. pick, and p
proaclilug the foreman, 6aid to him:
"Can I take a fit, sir?"
"Take what?" asked the foremnn.
A lit I feel one coining on," re
plied the young man with emotion.
"Why, certainly," said the forcinun.
So the young man walked over to a
bit of grass under a leafh- tree it was
a new street in the suburbs and had
a fit.
Then he went and washed Is face,
came back to liis place in the line, took
up Ids pick and struck into work.
After the day's work was over the
young man said to the foreman: "You
don't mind my having fits?"
"No I guess not if you io a fait
day's work."
"Well, you see I used to work for
a butcher an he wouldn.t let me tek
flits said it interfered with his busi
ness an' I Uionght you might feel the
same way about it."
A r.d the young man works hard with
pick and shovel, and takes a fit oica
in a while as you and I might take
drink of water.
Ideas of the Arabians.
Their general opinion of an English
traveller is, that ho Is either a lunatio
or a magician; a lunatic, if, on closely
watching his movements, they discover
he pays little attention to things around
him; a confirmed lunatic, if he goes
out sketching, and spends his
time in
... S" ' ,. . . . ,
hieroglyphics; and a magician, when
inquisitive about ruins, and given to
picking up stones aud shells, gather
ing sticks and leaves of brushes, or
buying up old bits of copper, iron and
silver. In these cases, he is supposed
by aid of his magical power, tocouvert
stones aud shells into diamonds of im
mense price; and the leaves and sticks
are charms, by looking at which he cat
bestow comforts upon his friends, and
snakes and pestileuce upon his luckless
enemies. If a traveller pick up a
stone and examine it carefully, he will
be sure to have at his tail a host of
malapert little boys deriding him,
though keeping at a very respectful
distance, in deference to his magical
powers. Should he indeed turn round
suddenly and pursue them a few steps,
they fly in an agony of fear, the very
veins in their naked little legs ahnol
bursting, aud they never stop to look
back till they have got well amongst
the crowd again, where, panting foi
breath, they recount to their auditor
the dreadful look that devil of a Frank
gava them, making fire come out ol
his eyes and adders out of Ids n outh
A Peculiar Tine.
jtrange things happen In the gat
dens of amateur cultivators. "Mam
ma," exclaimed Jack, as he came run
; nlng into the house, "you know tha
' lemon pit I planted hut year that cam
np a pea tine Wales it's got strwj
Mas UI"
XEWS IS BRIEF.
The first steel pec was made In 1330
Wyoming Is twice as largj as Eng.
T ai4i,
I
I . Bost?? 18 two hundied and sixty
feats old.
One of the hlz' est student at Cam
Diidte. England, id b ind.
Th- fii at g ime of cricket was played
n Loudon. England, iu 1774.
An immense double watermelon at
.racts a teiiti u iu t lieori grocery.
New Haven, C ni., is called the Citj
f K ile; NasijviIle.Xt nn., tue City of
Hocks.
Kansas has more miles of rs 11 road?
an idl tho New EugUud Stat.s put
toelht-r.
A hungry h.r.ce tied la front of a
itore in Noirls own, luu., devoured e
hi X i t straw LatS.
It 'iit r -Watt-s weie li. st patented by
i Lo. d u fiu.it-irf,- namei Twrs In
ls2J, aud his iBLteru ha 1 one line of
. heels.
A ouia i at II i r-U n. Md., has a
rouse whicu CrfUiu lulo her pus ssioii
li-u aim Was mauled, twclil -one
e rs a,;o.
A pair of bmiam chickens were
old ut Um l.ouuou I'i'Wat 1'aUce for
tux', uhicii was altiiost twice their
iht iu (.old
Iu Eu'ait I thev 1)' k up!i strawher
ie.s vcr luuch a-L'al.ioi . Uns no on uu'
;e S of told 1 he "fuilert" sell tueir.
Ol aooiil C- a pound.
Asa! u: .oa is a Vt! th'e, n t an ani
on l pi uw;. I. i ,u- i i.-d liouitiie
"oct- ol a p ant extr-u-iw'y urowu in
IViS.a, li -1 j.-c.i.sL .1. -t id Ai ,n.niistau.
The tir-t a i ike it tVa Country Is
laid to Iiave occiii i d 111 lii-cuy of New
Vol km ie i a uuiu!)-r of .anor
Uruck ft au aivai.ee in wue.
It is reported from China ihit during
itoruis iu the Clak.am piovl.-ice hail
tues of sui;li en irui ui s ze fell. Hi to
SrBtroy a lmals aud ee'i h uses.
The people ot -a-i Fran.Tis-o have
'leserite l to the crui-er of that name a
ST.oOJ silver tei vice th .t is said to le
-lie- liatnlsoiuest tliUigot Us kiud owueJ
u America,
Atoier in Watervi'.le, Me., received
i SUriliiitf surpi ,i-e. lie was locked tip
:oi l'eiii dmi, k, ai d ia xl morning d;
.oveied ti at l e had spent the iitbMit in
a c 11 with a loi p-e.
Fashio- able entertainment have
I ifii t n iruiously extravagant In Lou
lo:i tins -easou. Several have cost
oelween i-J . no and ti'',11. The
;Io is for a b u lie, or pa ly cost lo.OUO.
Aft r ?p-uJ.ni two or three months
ind hundreds uf dollars lu litigation
43 to the ownershi.i of a aog, two
Chicago ceui h'liiea are now advrrtlslna
for the ilo which has mysteriously dls-dpj-eaied.
'1 lie new M ison.c Temple In Cliicaj
is 'O have e i.leeu sr, les, and the root
will be 24 I leet fioiu ttie pavern- ut.
l'.ie gi'oun 1 ili neusioiis will billTtiv
114 leet. The Kti.iCl.ui6 will Lo tiul.t
I liiiCipally -f s'.eel.
K 'Chester, Itnt., lias a hoy orator 5
yea is old. lie is named Irwin J. Sen
tier, lias a le nui k.tijie memory, and
-p.iuts spce.ii s aul -pinions, to the
aiiia7t-!iieiii of the i".vle who visit h.3
fa her's farm.
M. Cass.'i.es, a Parisian, has invent
ed a bv.-ieiu ui ite o-'.e.ei aphy, by
which shori-han I riotei ol hi---iics and
other rei oi IS nwy lc telegraphed. Ilhf
pljn Saves three-lorn t !m ot tne tl nrf or
ulnarily used iu leh-r.ip nn.
In (jermany the i.tiin.er of drug
stcres are r-y .stered l y law a certain
nuinl-er to a leilatn d.stiict, aceordiriij
lo population. A druggist there Is
allowed to sel! only din s, or such
articles as are usl for me lie. ual pur
poses. Tl.e usf of ln-lia rubb-r for erasing
pencil nmiks was llrt siijesfel in or
jjstpnoi lo 17oJ by au academician
iiirii.d M-.el.aii, a Ue.-ceuUanl of the
gnat iiiViH-'tor.
The A u,tro-II un?nrian convict who
Is comli tune.! lo d e stands on ttie ground
w th a ope aroun I in u-ck, and at a
given siKiiiil h- Is pul.ed ff I is les to
lema n Uruyhn in the all until he is
strangled.
Tiad -m rks w( re k"own In ancitn
B.ililon; China has lb in us early as
1 0 i H. C ; tl ev w. re iitii. r zed 1n
England In 1 0; ti iienberg. he iuveu
t. r ot printaar, ia ta il to have had a
laAsuu over his trade-mark.
Fuliy thiee-founh-" of the ' nb.es of
the woi Id uo nak d until they Re to Ix;
five cr six Jtu sol.!. 'I l.e t aiiadiau In
ui ns keep their babies naked to a cer
tal.i point, inl as foi I he bt'.le ( 'oreans,
thev never wear anvtli-uz hut a slu ri
Skiit until they ale as old as our school
boys.
A wonderful fljtier bis boen dis
covered In the Is' hums of Tehuaii;ej-c.
Its chief ecij'lai by it th.-1. aim ot chang
ing lis colors dniiiijr the nay. In the
morning It IS W hile; he tne sun 1b at
ts Zennh it ;s led. aud at n chl is is
hue. The red, whit a d blue flowej
urows on a ti ee about t e s z of a jtuava
trt e, ami oi.b. at noou d r sh it. give out,
any pci I ume.
The fi-no is "1 ti
O'l tile S'liitl uia
t r., -. t i ii i
I acih Is on t ie :
, . ' . : . . . . . . '
i i Ween -vi i j -ra an'j O iiiei ie. it was
d vice bj w. . ich ; he Tent th i;-Pa", by
which Fieiiiont fust cro- e ' tne mount
ain rr'fce betw eii Northern u .d -ou h-
rtieCalilo' nia, i i a s-.. F.rst the roa 1
runs tnicuti a ti line!, then It brlOx'
an abyss, and finally i rn es over Itself,
seem nly tying a bow-knot wuh l.s
own straps.
Eider down 2 the down of the eider
duck. This duCi is comtno i In Greeu-
1 n 1, Ice an 1, an 1 tl.e islands north aud
west of S Mt and. It is at ju. the Size
of a gojse, and receives ts distinctive
n me from the river EiJer in Den
mark. It Is asserted by French vintagers that
the grapes jra' liered at s inrl-ie always
produce the lightest and most limpid
wine. Moreover by plurkir.a the grapes
when 'he early iiiorniiii? sun fs upoti
them they are bt-l.evoi to yield a fou.t'i
more juice.
Sl'oe dealers roconrnend the cloth
top gaiterh. o"s f r la lies rullenng fioui
heated or swoiie i feet.
If dwt nee lenos enchantment to
Ihe v.ew, wl.at a b ati'v the latest "ew
c ic t n.ust l-e at 1vJ'J,0j'i,'.'w m l a
from the earth!
"II Idlng one's hands up makes the
veins swell and induce a lare, coarse,
development," says a lemter on phys
ical beau y.
A British lr.V'-it'iivi w.nk.s jtV-ins
Into ilotti o' ny color or l 'i i ci and
lnoonibust ibie.
fiar.biild.'s Island o: Cap' era is to
be deot to the purposes ot a home
for o'd sa'.lors.
T.tyy.: