?T T' !
,.fy:ti:rv--.--'V::.f--$-:i-?jif:--.;-r;;V..'f ati-:'
. r SCTEXTIFia
T4 bmI of having plenty of iUet
byJrmrta was Uluitratml by Cblaf Scau
11, of the San Francisco firs de; art
men t. With the aid of his most pow
erful engine he recently gave thegnJ
Jury ana the mayor and supervisor of
that city an ocular demonstration of
the crying need for proper protection
against 5 re of additional Or hydrants.
Of course the gentlemen knew per
fectly well that In many parts of the
city the distance between the bydranU
was from 1,500 to 2,000 feet, but It is
probable that they never befor realized
ao thoroughly how great was the loss in
power of a stream caused by the fric
tion In tTia long line of hose thus made
necessary. It is sale te say that they
were somewhat surr.TlM when, after
seem water thrown Wtt eet through
10O feet of bate, the pressure at the
no72'e standing at 00 pounds, 000 feet
moie of hosa were coupled on and the
ufetbled stream fell to the ground just
nrty-four feet from the noi7le, where
the rrassure mark was but six pounds.
An Interertln feature of the recently
nuMished statistical report of the
American Iron aud Steel Association is
the increasing percentage of steel in the
tutal production. About one-third of
the tar "Iron" now manufactured tn
the L'nlUd States Is steel, so Is nearly
half of the plate and sheet iron, and 40
pu cent of the cut nails and splkea.
1'he rolled iron prodnct, other than
Bails, only Increased T j per cent lat
raar, while tlie rolled sterl product,
apart from rails. Increased 32 per cent.
It needs not to say that steel rails are
now replacing those of Iron on all the
railroads which are efficiently managed.
A ftfj that change Is completed, what
tteu? Will the next reform In order
wholesale substitution of aluminum
for the ferric material, crowding that
out of the way as the Utter is displac
ing wood for many structural purpose?
It la not Improbable. Clay is much
more plentiful than lion ore, and recent
experiments at least indicate It as pue
t'.Ue tliat the new metal will ere long
l prod need as cheaply per unit of vol
ume. If not of weight, as Its elder
brother. Such a change would revolu
tionize not a few of our manufacturing
prooenes, and perhaps some or the
habits of the civilied human being.
.-t cit-il engineer at Watertown, N.
1'., lately accomplished. In a simple,
clieup aud expeditious way, the laying
of a Inn line of pip in deep water.
He had occasion to lay nearly one thou
sand feet of suction pipe at House's
Point. The water was seeded for man
ufacturing purpoHs, and, as it was
found that the water near the shore
wns more or less impure, It was neces
sary to place the Inlet a considerable
distance out in the lake. He purchased
for ttie i urp'jse a steel pressure pipe of
eiht Inches in diameter. Tlugging the
end of ttie flrat leuh'tli, lie pushed It out
on the surface of Lake ("tianiplaln, and
connected the second length, pushlug
this out in turn until the whole line
was coupled. It then presented the
unusual spectacle of a line of 8-lnch.
pressure pipe nearly a thousand feet
loiur. floating yilth displacement of
only ?f inches of its diameter. When
the requisite leiiktth had teen connected
the Hue was towed to position, the plug j
at the end removed, aud the pipe sank
easily in 10t f.et of water without '
breaking a lolnt or receiving any In
Jury. .No b.ioys or floats were used In
the operation, anil no apparatus of any
klnL The pipe Is now in use as the
suction of a steam pump, and gives
perfect satisfaction, it is ealiL
.1 rurUus develo nientof the "nickel
(or t etiiiy) In the slot machine' ha
api-eared In Kiig'and. It is proposed
to erect automatic photographic rua
ehlnes, corresponding In a general way
to the other machines of this class for
welhina; selling candy, etc., with
which the public is now familiar. In
the photogtnphic machines a penny is
placed in a slot, the person stands In
front of a lens for about five secondi,
being notiiled by the ringing of a lieil
when to cease posing. Ily the mechan
ism the plate is develot-ed and fixed,
and In forty-3ve seconds the photo Is
paswd out to the purchaser. A second
slot for halfpennies delivers a frame
when one coin is dropped into it. It Is
clauuixl that the prolit on each photo
graph Is over one halfpeuny. The
chemical used are a secret, and it Is
largely owing to their low cost that the
figures given can be realized.
Loi.fc oufr Tour Athft. It would
appear that the cause of the accident
on board the City of Far is was the
breaking of the profiler shart, which
caused a suddeu increa-e In the velocity
of the engines, leading to a general
smash-up. The breaking of the shaft
was due to lis having ground away the
lignum vttir, and ultimately the steel
In the stmt supporting It. It then was
out of a ctruight li ie, and In conse
quence of this broke by the straius
brought about by Its own revolution.
The cause of the accident Is, therefore,
to be traced to (lie grind. ng away of
the lignum vit:e of the liearing. One
theory Is that the liner on the propeller
shaft teliig too tuh'ly shrunk on, split,
thus leaving a sharp ecge togrlud away
the lignum vita;. Ano'.i.er ts that the
ashes which are dlscha'gd below water
on the same side as the broken shaft
were continuously carried to the pro
peller bearing a the ship was going
through the water, and that they were
the original cause ot the mischief.
On4 of the deeds' mines In the world ;
Is at t. An Ire du I'oirier. Franc, and 1
yearly produces Son.wO tons of owl. !
The mine Is worked with two shaft., '
one J,'.'".! feet dee? aud the other 3,UKk i
The latter shaft is now lelug deepeued,
aud will n reach the 4i ft. level, j
The remarkable feature In this d-ep
Bntne is the comparative low tempera
ture expei ten fd, which seldom rWes ,
above 7 de'- Fuh.
A t an,v phenomenon in the heavens
was noticed by many in Lexington, Ga.,
Uto!r It uas a Lay, cloudy, aud en
clrcl.nf the sun was a complete rain
bow with at le.it half the hues. Some
of tlie su-plclous looked upon It as a
si!i of some gre;.t calamity to come,
and have not rested since.
Whtn mine arc lighted by incan
descent I:K'ht It is claiiiittd that dangers
from tirx d imp u:ul explosive gases
w ill bo minim. .ed.
Flath signals, by means of tlie hell- !
graph, are us-. for cotntnnnicatlug lie- j
tween s'.it'oi s v. New Mexico and Ari
zona, beventy-rive ni les apart. ,
' ' r i-!:al Newn an, w ho is n i Iiin a
i being a noiioirenai i tn, is unable
to any distance ithout aid, and I as
had to .e up his early rising aud ruin-l"f'-at
ons. Cardinal Manning, on the
ot! . r hand, who is K!, retain the same
bo.l ! and m ntal vigor that he has eu
j"rl i"-r year.
! ie;i'" tnu milk Is ono cf the most
popular dihes .serve 1 for lunch at the
Coiign-s-ioiial restaurant in Washing
1. 1 'asses or pure cream or of half
ream and ha f milk are greatly In de
mand among the ( Viicr es-inen who
me from cities but they aie avoided
the rural meiilers.
A posture st.vn" ; rivei tty found
1 y i iit-ii ctci.t plnsiciuu m the ear
il a ! f e ati tit, u;al on lis removal
a -; v ie pain, from wbVh the child had
; i;if. i d ull 1 hie'i aohed the visit to
U.e d tor. disiippeared.
n timorous.
Up i it Docet "I dont know,1
said Willie Wishlngton, "w he than I'm
populah with the young lady on whom
I called lawst nlht oh not.
"Why?" inqulied the friend to whom
lie was speaking.
"I bad been there an ouah, when she
said: 'Well. Mr. Wlshlngton. we have
had a delightful evening, haven't
we?"
"That was encouraging."
"I'm, but it happened that I had
the toothache, you know, and hadn't
said fouah wohds tho whole evening,
don't you ki.ow."
TooTniX Miss Guinrait I Oldnt
get a wink of sleep last uizht.
Visitor Ab, indeed. What was the
matter?
Miss Gummit I hid jumping tooth
ache. 1 am afraid the nerve in one of
my front teeth is expo-ietl. I guess the
nerve will have to be removed.
Visitor (aside) I should think It
would be easier to remove the whole
dt.
Excused This Time Sctioolmarm
(with ominous look In her eye) What
m.vle you so late, Kobert Ueedt
Hobert IV-en lightm'.
Schoo'marin (advancing furiously
You have, eh?
Rolrt Yes,M'am. A boy sed yer
wuz nly as homemade sin, an 1 jest
give it to him.
Schoolmarm Well, Bobby dear, I'll
have to pardon you this time; but con
trol your temper the het you can.
He Excuse When win parents
learn not to expect too much of their
ohildren?
"Ethel, get up, my dear. Don't you
know It's naughty to play like thatVMr.
SmiUi's daughter never would do so.
She's a trood little piiL"
"Well, mamma, Uessie Smith ought
to be a bett r girl than 1 am. Her papa's
a minister, and mv pa;-a's only a dea
con," Askiko too Much Lady I can't
stand this any more. You have a
different soldier here in the kitchen
every week.
Servant That's not my fault. In a
house where the table is as poor as it
is in this, you can't expect the same
soldier to stand It more than
week.
Too Extensive Widower (to
undertaker) What! You say the
funeral costs two hundred dollars. I
wish I bad known that before.
Undertaker You said you wanted
your late wife buried In a stylish man
ner. Widower Yes, certainly; but two
hundred dollars! Why, 1 would rather
have had no funeral at all than to have
to pay that amount.
Ajc Accomplished Girl Mrs.
Smith So your daughter has graduat
ed with honors.
Mrs. Jones Yes, she understands
painting, and astronomy, aud piano
playing, and Lord knows what all.
You ought to be very proud.
1 suppose so. I expect she will b
very happy in her married life if she
finds a husband who knows how to
cook, sew on buttons and dress child
ren. Acqoriso Information "Ex
cuse me, sir," he said as he stepped lute
the office, "but do you carry any life in
surance?" "I'd like to answer that question by
aklng another," said the merchant.
"Io you carry any fire insurance?"
"Why, no, I "
'Well, If yon go out quietly you
won't be fired, that's all."
Astronomical Jan kins Uy Jove'.
Who is that high stepper?
Hogg O, he's a traveling theatrical
star.
Jawklns Why not call him a'planet'
then, as he's a traveling t-lr?
Hogg Urn! May be that would lie
letter; he feels alout as big as r
planet!
"Hello! what have you been doing
allwlntei?"
"Oh, I've been Inspector of light
house." "So? 1 didn't hear of your appoint
ment,"
"Well, it wasn't announced. 1
backed the Rarndore Opera Company
on Its Western tour.
"Xo, I never know where my hus
band la nights," remarked Mrs. Gab
ley to a lady to whom she had just been
introduced. "Do you know where
yours is, Mrs. Tompkins?"
"Oh, yes," quietly replied Mrs.
Tompkins. "I buried Mr. Tompkinr
iu Greenwood last spring.
One RE'tniE Old Kk-hfellow
(desperately ) If you refuse me, what
tn there left for me to dor
Sweet trirl Well. I read the other
dy about a rieh man who made his
will iu favor of the woman who refused
him and then went out and hung him
eelf.
Too Had I was penning a poera;my
enthusiasm was at the highest pitcli.
aud then, oh. then
What then?
My landlady came in to duu me for
my board bill.
Akx tors to Suit Faxir Xecktlea.
suspender
liaboony (haughtily) Do I look like
a man who'd wear a twenty-cent neck-
ner
Fakir Veil, 1
cents. Mister.
hat some for ten
"We"e named our daughter Ber
etta." -Curious name that; it Is the name of
a hit or cap."
I kuow it. We call her Ilattle for
short."
Advice I'.x.vkcfssart "My
daughter," remarked Mr. Fangle to his
eldest, "you should read more."
"I have, paia," she replied; "I've
read his 'Lilla Kookh."
Gastronomlcal Item Bjones Talk
ing of sauces, hunger is the beat
s.mce.
Usinith Maybe so, but hunger never
has anything to go with the sauce.
Mie h.:d displayed her vocal powers
for ti e benefit of the m-anager and in
quiied: "Now, wouldn't you advise me
to cultivate my vo!ce?"
'Cup ivate it? No; strive to annihi
late it,"
"I wish I was an angel," said Willie.
"Why?"
"It must be bully this weather to be
no'hin'biit a head with a pair ot feather
fans belaud your ears.
"Where did young Browne get Lis
rno-iey, n.ipa?"
"From his uncle, old Sam Browne.
He inherited every tUing he has in this
woill except the fiual V to his
name,"
I have not slept tor a week, Tom.
"Why?"
"I made a wager with my brothel
that I never snore, and 1 remained
awake to nnu out wneioer i ua oi
SClENTlFia .
Tlie woods are full" ot . wonderful I
electrical inventions, sorne good, some
bad, aud some so supremely foolish as
to make one wonder that any man of
average intelligence should waste a
lecond thought on them. But turn the
ordinary newspaper reporter loose on
anything which has a suspicion of
electricity rr magnetism about it, and
he will see, if not "sermons in stones,"
at least some wonderful manifestations
destined to overturn all previous con
ceptions of force, power, and mechani
cal theory. "Heat as a mode of mo
tion" is nowhere as compared with the
deductions of tiiese modern Tyndalls.
The 'atest instance of reportial cred
ulity we find in a daily exchange. It
is so good, and so far from being true,
that it merits special mention. The
invention described consists of two
twenty horse jniwer loilers to which is
temjHrarlly connected a ten horse
power lioder, ei gine and dynamo.
Sleam is raised In the small boiler, the
engine drives the dynamo, the wires
from which are connected with the
ends of the tubes in the large boilers,
the tubes being filled with asbestos.
The current of electricity is turned on
aud, presto! the a&betos becomes red
hot, the water In tlie large boilers is
converted into steam and forty horse
power is the result. This process can
Im- multiplied without limit, and it Is
only a question of a string of boilers,
engines aud dynamos a mile or two long
to put .Niagara totally in the back
ground. Shades of Caruot, Joule aud
Watt, what will come next! exclaims
the editor of the Station Engineer,
from which Kier the above la copied.
The minimum dry weather flow of
.er ain rivers is given as follows In a
report by Willis Chipman ou the pro
poaed sewerage of Brantford, OuU;
St, I.aw reuce at Brock ville. Out., 1S,
UW.UvU cubic feet ier minute; Missis
sippi at St- l'aul, Min., 2,0U0,0(N;
Connecticut, at llolyoke, Mass., 3o0,
UUO; Ohio, at l'ittsburg, l'a., 100.0UO;
Seine, at Faris, France, lOU,OO0; Mo
liawk, at Cohoes, Y., M.OtK);
Thames, at Ixmdon, England, 30.tK.Kl;
Chicago, at Chicago, I1L, (out of Lake
M'chi.'an). :kiaUU.; Illinois, at Iji Salle,
111 , ;,tui; Graud, at Bradford, Out,.
1S.UUO.
Tlie height of an olive tree is usu
uaily 20 feet, but it is sometimes as
high as 00 feet, aud it reaches almost a
fabulous age. One recently destroyed
at lteaulieu has a recorded age of live
centuries, and it was .'US feet in circum
ference. The olive tree is exceedingly
prol tic under cultivation; the fruit
yields aliout 20 per rent of its weight,
exclusive of kernel, in oil. Italy is
said to produce 33,000,000; France
7,noJ.t 0o gallons of oil annually. The
tiee does not vegetate readily beyond
2.oH) feet altitude or 45 degrees lati
tude. -1 uffful attribute of paper not gen
erally known is lor preserving ice in a
pitcher of water. F'ili the pitcher with
ice and water and set it ou the centre
of a piece of paer; then gather the
paier together at the top and place the
ends tightly together, placing a strong
rubber band aiound the coil to hold it
close, so as to exclude the air, A
pitcher of ice water treated in this
manner lias been known to stand over
night with scarcely a perceptible melt
ing of the ice.
In order to keep machinery from
rusting take one ounce ot camphor,
dissolving It iu a iKUiud of lard; take
oil the scum and mix as much tine
black lead as will give it iron-color.
Clean the machinery and unear it with
this mixture. After twenty-four hours,
rub clean with soft, linen cloth. It
will keep Clean for months under
oidiuary circumstances.
one. of the leading locomotive
shops there is now building au engine
n lth an enormous driving wheel, nine
feet in circumference, which will be
fixed in the centre iu frout ot the boiler.
Instead ot ordinary axles the truck
wheels will have bicycle spindles and
experts claim that the large driving
wheel will carry a tralu at over ninety
miles an hour.
ftiftnr Flint is quoted as saying: I
have never known a dyspeptic to re
cover vigorous health Mho undertook
o live after a strictly regulated diet.
and I have never known an instance of
a healthy person living according to a
strictly dietic system wiio did not
become a dyspeptic
rmftisor Etihti 7"msn says that In
the near future railways will be run by
electricity. By this he means not only
the small roads for cities and suburban
districts, but the large ones connecting
cities, and he looks for a higher speed
than is now attained with the steaur
locomotive.
Otrth-jtsta assert that if tfce continents
and tlie tsjttom of the ocean were
graded down to a uniform level the
whole world would be covered with
water a mile deep, so much greater is
the depression of the ocean bed than
the elevation of the ex sting land.
In a water telephone recently pat
ented in England the apparatus
mployed for the collection of sound
transmitted through water, between
ship, has been improved by construct
ing th apparatus so that any ressure
caused by the increased density of the
water lias no effect upon it.
Strawberry Syrup. A pound oi
sugar to a pint of strawberry juice,
strain the juice from the lorries through
a muslin bag; let it come to a boll, and
skim it well, when cold, add brandy to
taste and bottle it.
An Fxpensive Name for a Horse.
Hrown What's the name of that
colt?
Jones Ten-dollar Bill.
Brown That's no kind of a name
forahor-e. What did you call him
that for?
Jones Because, dear boy, he'll go so
fast when he's broken.
Easy Enough Inquiring Stranger
Can you tell me what those carvings
on the station are for?
Ticket Agent Certainly, sir. So
that people when they have nothing
else to do can ask about them.
What Her Tartt Was For
"Why, my dear, you had a party bast
mouth. How olten do you wish to
entertain your friends.
' This is not to entertain my friends,
but to snub my enemies."
Adjustment Mother My boy, I
didn't mean to whip you so hard.
Willie (who has been stealing Jam)
That's ail right, ma. I didn'tget quite
enough jam anyhow, and I'll go and
get a little more.
A T.OVrt Wit Annn nxr t
"Ma" said a little BirL "Willie nnt
the biggest piece of pie, and I sink I
out to have it, 'cause he was eatin' pie
two years 'fore 1 was borned."
"It must have been a magnificent
sight to see the mighty waves subdued
h oil"
I "It was a kerosene I shall ne
ft
HOUSEHOLD.
Omelettk Eggs, three; aailk, half
pint; flour, 2 tables poo nfuli; salt to
taste. Beat the yolks and whites of the
eggs separately and add the whites hist,
t lrrlng lightly. Bake in a moderate
oven.
FianoCase 1'olish. Olive oil ap
plied with cotton or canton flannel rag
and afterwards rubbed with dry flannel
is a good polish for a piano case. We
have read that one part olive oil and
two parts vinegar is also good.
To Take Oct Spots. The yel'ow
fetal n made by the oil used on sewing
machines can be removed if be ore
washing in soapsuds the spot is rubbtd
carefully with a bit of cloth wet with
ammoma.
Coffee Cakes. A cupful of butter,
hall a cupful of sugar, a cupful of mo
lasses, a leasjioonf ul of saleratus dis
solved in a cupful of strong cortee, a
nutmeg, a teasiHonf ul of cloves, cln
namou, live cupfuls of flour, aud a cup
ful of chopped raisins.
Herring Salad l'ut into a salad
bowl the criip leaves of a huad of let
tuce; remove the skin and bone from
tao smoked herr ngs; shred them flue
and add to the lettuce; our over the
salad a plaiu dressing and garnish with
hard-boiled eggs.
Tarsnips. Boil until tender.scrape.
cut lengthwise, and put into a sauce
pan with three tablespoon! uls of but
ter, a little epier and salt, and a
tablespoon f ul of cbopied parsley. Shake
until ttie mixture bolls, take up the
pieces carefully, and pour the butter
over.
Mustard Cabbage Chop half a
head of cabbage flue; put on to boil, a
cupful of vinegar, a cupful of suar,
seven tablesooufuls of milk, two of
mustard, and one each of peppier and
salt, add a beaten egg, stir the mixture
well; then pour the whole over the
cabbage and serve.
Ink Stains. Ink stains on mahog
any furniture will disappear if treated
as follows: Tut six drops of nitre into
a teaspoouful i f water, aud touch the
stained part w iih a feather dipped in
the mixture. Immediately after this,
rub with a soft cloth and cold water to
prevent mark.
To take iron rust out of white goods,
pour a teacupfulof boiling water-.stretch
the goods tightly across the top of it;
then pour ou a Utile of the solution of
oxalic acid dissolved in water, and rub
it with the edge of a teaspoon or any
thing. If it does not come out at once,
dip it down iuto the hot water and rub
again.
To take out machine grease use rain
water and soda. To remove oil and
varnish from silk try lenzine, ether and
soap very cautiously. To take out
paint mix equal parts or ammonia aud
turpentine. Saturate the Sot two or
three times, then wa-ih out in soapsuds,
l'aint can sometimes be rubbed out of
woolen go ids after it has dried.
Chocolate bi.anc Mange
Bakerb chocolate.one-elghth of a pack
age; Cox's gelatiue.onu-half liox; sugar,
one-half cup; vaniila.one table.sHmf ul;
milk, one quart, Soak the gelatine In
a little water; grate or Fcrape tine the
chocolate, bail it in the milk in a farina
kettle two hours, then add the gelatine
and sugar and cook ten minutes more;
strain through a sieve or strain; add the
vauilla; skim frequently the grease that
will rise on top. terve when solid, with
cream or sauce.
To Remove Mildew or Stains From
White Cloth One tablespoonful of
chloride of lime in lia'f a pall of watrr
and let it i-tand half au hour, then dip
the cloth in, wet thoroughly, and spread
In the sun. Kepeat this until entirely
out, then wash thoroughly aud rinse,
and the lime will not injure the cloth.
To leave the cloth over night without
washing, til lime will rot It, Yellowed
or uubleai lied clothes may be bleached
in the same way.
Malaga Cake. Two cupfuls of
sugar and half a cupful of butter; beat
to a eteaiu; a d halt a cupful of sweet
milk; mix three cupfuls of flour with
three teaspoonfuls of baking powder;
beat the whites of seven eggs to a froth;
stir all together; add flavor with lemon;
bake in sheets, t llling V lutes of three
egg beaten with sugar as for frosting;
save out enough lor the top of the cake;
add a coffee-cupful of seeded aud
chopped raisins and two teaspoonfuls
of lemon extract; spread between the
cake.
Chocolate Corn Starch. Milk,
1 quart; egs, -J; corn starch, 2 table
spoonfuls; sugar, a large lutlf cupful,
chocolate, one-half cupful. Boil th-i
milk in a vessel set in water; add tha
si i gar and corn starch dissolved in a
little milk; boil five or ten minutes, then
add the yolks of the eggs, well beaten,
and mixed with a little milk, stirring
all the time for two or three minutes,
now turn out Into the moulding dish.
Now, have the rest of the sugar and
milk and the chocolate a 1 dissolved and
well mixed together, heated and pour
It over the preparation; now add the
whites of the eggs, well beaten, with a
little sugar by sprea mg it over the top,
set it in the oven two uiiuutea. S.-rve
cold, without sauce.
Good Coffee. To those who do
not own a French coffee pot Marion
liar land advises the following method
for making good coffee: Mix with a
cupful of ground coffee one of cold
water. In which has been stirred the
white and crushed shell of a raw egg.
I'ut the mixture into a scalded coffee
boiler, and shake well before adding a
quart and a half pint of boiling water,
boil quickly taking care It does not
bubble over at the top for fifteen min
utes; scrape the sides of the boiler and
dash in suddenly half a cupful of cold
water. Draw the pot to the coolest
side of the range, where it cannot pos
sibly boll; let the beverage settle on the
lees for from three to five minutes, and
draw off gently into a scalded table pot
or urn.
Would Respect his Wishes Old
Gentleman (from hea 1 of the stairs at a
late hour) Clara, I think you and that
young man have talked enough for one
evening.
Clara All right, pa. We Ton't say
another word.
Preaching and Practice Mr.
Wealthy I presume, sir, you will Join
our new forestry association?
Mr. Ricbmau Most gladly, sir. The
way our virgin forexts are being de
stroyed is a shame an outrage. John I
Fut a few more logs on the grate.
"nold on. my friend, don't shoot;
I'm a judge,"
"Wall, a'lKisen ye are; judges ain't
no m ire count dan de law is nowadays,
re can't hang a feller, ye can't 'lectrify
him, and my lawyer cau appeal s last
as you kin sentence. Shell out."
Keeping Within Bounds It is a
pietty careful speaker who is never
compelled to discount bis fiit assertion
by more than 10 per cent.
Little Mar e -O Edith, there's a hole
in your stocking as big as a diver dol
lar. Edith Why, Marie, how you exag
geratel Marie rTeJL It'i m bri as 0 eentt.
Tn i t tv m Fai.skOod !
S'r .nger (at door) Is Mrs. ipuy inr
Maid Are you the man with the
milliner's bill , ,
Stranger (trying to lie ins way mj -A
hry (who lias more than he wants)
"Pooh! It ches have wings."
roor Jack (who hadn't enougn)
Maybe; but they're mighty slow iu fly
ing toward a fellow."
pprfnmTT Jimmv Ma. can I have
that candy on your dressing case?
Mother les.
(Johnny inakos no motion toward tak-
HiR it )
Mother Why don't you take it if
you waut it? Why, 1 declare, it's
gone!
Johnny Yep. 1 ale It beiore i askeu
you for it.
Lady de Frimrose "What do you
think of the new Duchess?"
Mrs. isormanbv "O. she's a perfect
phonograph!"
"1 don't uuderstana, u nai oo you
mean?"
"Well, you see, she sjieaks without
thinking."
OF Course he was SURE Stranger
I beg your pardon, sir.
Citizen Well?
Stranger I am looking for a tene
ment in this locality, sir, aud I waut to
ask you In confidence if you think that
house youder is situated perfectly heal
thy as to drainage, etc.
Citizen Y es, sir, it is. I am sure of
it.
Stranger AVhy are you so positive?
Citizen Because 1 am the owner of
that tenement house.
Romance and Reality Stranger
So that man is the village poet ? hat
Is he doing now?
Resident He's taking iu the beauties
of nature.
StraDger Who is that woman at
work over there by the bouse?
Resident O, that's his wife. She's
taking iu washing.
Xot Easily satisfied Clarence
Where have you been?
John To my tailor, and I had hard
work making him accept a little
money.
Clarence You astonish me. Why?
John Because, he wanted more.
Great Reader "Have you read
the Bible much. Miss Knowitall?"
'Oh yes, I read It from Genesee to
Revolution."
Indeed, how do von like Psalms?''
"1 never read Sam's. Did lie w rite
a Bible?"
In a Bad Way Lady (in a tone of
sympathy) How is your husband to
day, Aunt Dinah?
Aunt Dinah (gloomily) He's mighty
b id off, Mi-s Mary. Two of his lungs
is teetol-illy gone an tie zease is done
'gun to work orn another one.
The Ijtilie lli;litel.
The pleasant eilect and the perfec
safety wheh ladies may u-e the liquid
fruit laxative. Syrup of Figs, under all
conditions make it their favorite rem
edy. It is pleasing to the eye and to
the taste, gentle, eteflectual in acting
ou the kidneys, liver and bowels.
Great Britain seems to cMiitent her
self with one oldest Freemason Dr.
William Salmon, of l'ennllyu Coiut,
who lately celebrated hisone hundredth
birthday.
Fritter Axlt tire.
There Is no need of lin imp-we.! ou it
you will insist on having th VtAZnr I'.ntid
of Axle OreaaR. Out greasing will last
two weeks.
Content is the true philosopher's
stone.
One ThoUMtnri Ikoltar.
I will forfeit the nlmvc ninoiint. if I f:,il to
plotethat Kloruplexiotl I. 1 lie tx-st I ne.t i-! ti- lit
exislrliee for lMisia. llnlli;e1 mil or l'.ihoil-im-.
It la a oert.oti rure. ainl altonls in 1 -ate
relief. In cat.- ot kiiluev ainl l.ivi-r 'oin
pUllil, Neivoti I VI. ilit y ami 'oiimiiiii!1"M.
Vloraplexioii litiiMs iiji tie weak ss;'iti ainl
cures mhere oilier remt-lii- tail. "A-k i.nr
driiftiist for It ami n't well. aln.iM.- hook
'! liuiKS Worth Know in." aNo. s.unj.h- ...:tle
sent free: all eh:il.'e .i.-ulil. A 1. 1 1 -
Franklin Hart, Ss Warren Mrcet. New oi k.
When not in use the umbrella slmu'il
be left loose, uiicoiiDned ly e'asuc or
silken baud.
Itlipr lire riireciiariiiifeed Iy
Dr. J. li. Mayer, Sill Arch M., Fiiif.i,
1'a. Ease at once, no operation or de
lay from busine-a, attested by thou
sands of cure alter others tail, advice
free, send for circular.
Hot dry flannel, applied a hot as ios
slble, for neuralgia.
Cann'n JiiUney Cure for
Wopsy, Gravel, Diabetes, llright's,
Heart, Urinary or l.iver I iiseases. Nerv
ousness, Ac. Cure guaranteed. s:fl
Arch htreet, Thllad'a. $1 a bottle, 0
for $5, or druggist, 1000 certificates of
cures. Try iu
Fr lietter Is it to know everything
of a little than a little of everything.
FITS: A.1 ma aiopped rreeny nr. Kllnfailrflal
Nerve ftesiort-r. No Vila after nrai day'a use. Mar
Ttjoua eurett. Treat iw and It no trial ootue f ree i
llicaaea. bentlloDr-KiUMMUl Area St. l'aua.,fa.
The truly great learn the most from
themselves and from the great true book
of nature.
E. A. ROOD, Toleilo. Ohio, saysr "Mall s
Oat irrta Cure cured iny ile of catarrh fifteen
years ago and she has no return of it. it's a
aure cure." Sold by lrui;Kists, 75c.
Geologists assert that if the conti
nents and the bjttom ot the ocean were
graded down to a uniform level 1 lie
whole world would be covered w iih wa
ter a mile deep.
Warm weather often causes extreme tired
feeling and debility, and In the weakened con
dition of the system. d:s-ases art-inn from tin
pure blood are liable to appear. To Kaui strentri h.
to overcome disease, and to purify, vitalize,
and enrich the blood, take Hood's Sarsapai ilia.
The discoveries made by Stanley show
that the Nile is the longest river in the
world, being at least 4100 miles In
length.
No snap In the world has erer been Imitated
as much as Ko'-bins' Klectrlc Soap. The ma. kei
Is nil of imitations. Hf careful that You a:e
not deceived. J. It. lotbins, 1'hilailelphi.t and
New York," is Htauiied ou every I ar.
The first bank of deposit of Amster
dam was founded in 1009, at Briceiona
in 1407, and of England in Kllll.
Onlllkat HABIT. Oatr Certutu aa
".I tin II Kiln ina Koria. Ilr.
w m laiiH J.a
PlUKtS Wrltht ALL tL3t TAlLd.
Beati'ouffb Hjnip. eKd. Use
lain. anas
cial ri
tutui.
PENSIONS
Wt1t4ii for nw wi.
KtjI f r-s. aTTw r-
Ura4 lMMrMfr.
vrm lata e a W
. ni-TTr-' -
Cal
MCa. i ii i
UiaUTM . , i a. m i
Summer
Weakness
Loss of Appetite,
Sick Headache.
Quickly Cured by
Hood's
Sarsaparilla
Emm
PAINLESS. EFFECTUAL.
I
Ad
lite
VAvwi'j PATENT
CD
Drgass.
Worth a CuineajBox.
rn ALL.
3ILI0US NERVOUS:
DISORDERS,
:i zi Sick Headache,;
Wpnk sfnmacn.
Impaired Digestion,
Tnn;tinalion.
jwi-r
ni:nrfifirfin Liver.&c.
f Arou-iiii; with the Uosoluid f(
X . . . - - li. a job I i
'Health trie -vv
. . . . - c !.,. l,,i,onti lrame. t
.III-! it.
Bahnm's Pills, taken as i
) directed, will quickly RESTORE (
(ttmALCO to compiaia iiauim.'
cm n RV ALL. DRUCCISTS.
Prlra 9i rpnt3 Der BOX.
Prep-rpd only b,TlHW it r f. II A M ,
K V- 1 l ilNo.'. S-7I-.Kent, forth,
will mail lu,m s fills n" receipt of price, I
it inquire prUT. ."iii rr--
Kly's Cream Halm
wn.i. cti:k
Ca,Uo
fl - nCV
H A T ARB H WVM
Aly Halm into cadi imslril
I I. V r.llus. .v.WarrciiSt.N.V
READY RELIEF.
THE GHEUT CONQUEROR OF PAIN.
Iit-ilantly rli. iiikI mmiii cur11 '!!. tr
t hik1. Criliit in. I'lfitri-r. Mill' N-k.
ti-fiiiiiMktMtiiv ami iiiit;iiiitn:i:iH4. lui )i-r f
lltt I. n Hi;, KitliK'VH, i;,w!-,
Kllll M 1 IM. Ml IE 1.4, 1 .
illlMt'lM. T.M.I laiM-ll'". WtMUlH'i-ilir l'aiii in
tUt" ltf k, li-t ir l.iuiUn, Uy "
liikii, lnt-rii.tl1y :it lr ull iiil-rn.l
luin4. tl iiU'iii v. lli-jtrllmni. S-k ll'ul:n li.
T'r oii-sim slf'l.-rni. I'nlpilali!! f
Hi ll-nrt, 'IiiIUumiI K'vruittl 'vI.iliii'iH.
a 1hUI. All lruUI-i.
WAY'
An -f.lW'iit ami liiil.l I :lli:r1ic. I'tir.ly
S lll-. ' !- .tl'ctt n-l ltf-t Mcilu iiiu
In thirll lr ilm 4'iirr ,r all I ii-4nlm
r II.-
LIVER, STOMACH OR BOWELS.
T:iU'ii nc'rliii t iir-tion tliy will
r-tr h-:iltlt ;iiitl rn'w ilality.
-Zr "!. n I In. Uy all 1 run;istw
I hi. i:i a. .. m:v oi:k.
DEPEHDEHTPEKSIOfTBILL
bm t..-.-..in.- a Ihh. 2 I KK HNTII U all
botiornMjr tli titri.'1 KoIiImts mimI f-ml'T. t tin lute
t ar. whtinTf lui-:it.M'ltai4'l Imiii i-arrtinn m mirt.
VV IiIowk t ti MtiM-, iih.-ut r k'Ti1 ! cam f tlttli.
It'i-ti-lfTit l'ar iilH aud Miii'-r 4"tntlr-ii lut-r-et"i.
t J j i-Hrii' rxN-nnifr. lt-feren- in ail
jiiut of ill iitiijjr. -iiarv tf uiifctM--Kf ul.
M rit- at iif fir iv r t aw tilaiik - aitl full iu
itnu tu'ii'- ai i tt i t u K. M I l l-'I'KK A it.
iMi.ii-r-. to U n. t j.M a lu.b 4I liu x
71. ti-liiutioii, t. .
Spool Holder
tV IM1K.M. Sivei
lime ami truuule. Au 111
iiPM iisabl article (,r
i ery Uuutnii.Md. NoUiy
lioulil lM WltUiilltit.
?miii1.. chu Lms aeeu
Mt tlii, irtli-.
WM. FITCH & CO.,
1 Ot Corporan Knlkllnff, Wahinirtrn 1 i
PENSION ATTORNEYS
f ovr ynr xprit-uc. Sucv hf ully .ro-
cut- l--ii-..n Rfil t-Uiiti f nil km-li Hi Kh'TU-t
y-H.sli.n' lima, girx.i . t i.ism owi l
AXLE
GREASE
r.r-ST IN TIIK WOKI.H.
It, VK-arlne qii ilitios are nii,iirias,il. ai-tn
ally oiitluitiiie i o Ikikch of any ntlwr lirimt.
l'--e"eCU!1 I'0-44- -.i:i" TIIK (.km -
r nit S A I.li HX KKA I.EKS C. ES tilt A I.L V.
CHICHHTCR'S ENGLISH
PENEIVilOYAL PILLS
rVL' Kafrfcnl reti.t.. ldlfw,
4 U "Vk ruclBt for IHnmd fraud. j,
X- """"n ike mm mrr. n piiia
13 Mi(riirrr..r i,
If mull. ' Mj
J-al.r. vubobII Ml
1 1. Am Uumr. fa. I l.i.
WAWTCIl 'VAii:itMrtiili town
ft M.l I LU ami vieinltv. Soiiiethins -iur
To lake, u rue lor full particular, to MRS. s.
I. AltMHKL'rVI Kit. I'liiladelutiia, Woiuau's hx
eliatn'K. Ins. lull Street.
KtDOER 8 PASTlLLESrV,,
-i itwmwii iw iw nrerror i ctttm
Liu kmUwu Mum a.
E H 5 I OR2 .!" wjiobbh.
T5S5isWy Prosecutes Claim.
I it rDlorj Hbtm
. . iwiim cw. muM
IfAdf
rtiKilr.fxa Kiipuii
hVtwitm l''Uitianiiii, Ariliitn'-ti -, h'iri--iaU't. tr.
thoroti-rrilv tntu-ht hv HAM. i',-r. 1
Krvnt' i mt 4 57 ftlain St.. luft N. V
pensions
Nr .W I 4 V
r.rilnk i.ph-tJ.n an l Inf. -tnatlon. FaTIU. t
O'fAKttlcll, f'MiJfin Affvut, WaHtniirfV in, 1. C.
Ulflor tll Srtr Art.
Write iniiiieilmtir
UlK-Atioti. Km ploy th old rviiahlt- firm
PENSIONS
LAW.
Kallur
am. No difflimltr In proTInK claim, .to f till v,,u
a l iniukn. A.lvl. ,,) nianii, ,r. riu. iun
J. c.
UaK.MIIIIV.Atl'TltUw.
wAMii.xiTus, o. e.
DEMOIflMOoTr;
PENSION Bill
I Lllllllilf icPsccari wn
n. I. J t ia , !.,,,., T fn1 K r ar, n.
$75 ?!2"p ,'TH-.n b mad, worrtn,
- .
? D3S2
in n i
SSs. Trent?
R, R. R.
ADWAY'S
H PI
FRAZER
5
Fliiftinp the llesnop.sibillty MutJier
Now, Joliunie, you limit cut trie
aj'i'le in halves and give tho larger lialf
to your little sister.
Jolinnle Let lier tut it.
TTo is Roinff to SticV to Ilim, Too
Million You ,i;;ear to I e very fond
of your little ilavniate It is pleasant
to st-e snnli love among cl iMren.
The llijrct-r Oue I'ea'ui; lie's got er
jn-iiny to sjenJ.
Very Ilt.itekate Policeman
Excuse me. Major, lut isn't that your
dot'?
Major P. - Certainly.
l'oliccniiin You see what sien
sas: "No dogs allowed in this park?"
Major Ji. Vrs, Imt that doir can't
read, lie is very illiterate. Good ino.n
mg, tr.
A Witty Wikk "Jolm, you area
fool."
"1 am, am I'i Now do jou nia'.;e me
a fool?"
'J'.less you, I don't make you a fool.
You make a fool of yourself.
At the llai'road --Will you think of
me very often while you are a way (dear
est JohliV"
"But, Kinily. you know this is to be
a pleasure trip!"
Miss Debut "I o you believe in mar
rying for love?"
Chicago Matron ''O.it'sall a matter
of taste. 1 tried it a couple of times
and rather liked it."
Mr. Staid "And is Miss C'.i-gle-
gaggle well eduea -d?"
Mrs. Me I-ad - l.dueated? I should
say so. AVhy, the ribbons on her jtraJ-
ualing dress cost over titty dollars.
Mrs. Stuckupp Isthis Mr. .litnputse
you have engaged yourself to a man oi
means?
Sensible Daughter Yes, mother. I
means all he says, and lliat's the sort of
a tiuiband I want.
Young Uritidle l'a, can't 1 have a
flannel shirt like yours?
Mr. Hi indie (s caking from experi
ence) My son. you may have this alter
it's washed.
"Maria, dear," said the fond mother,
"the HslniHU linked me to-day whether
you wouldn't use some other pcrf nine
on your letters. Violet doesn't agiee
with him."
"I fell over the rail," said the sailor,
"and the shark eunie a'ong and grabbed
nie by the leg." "And what did you
do?" "1 let him have the leg. 1 never
disputes with a shark."
Why the r.irds Twittered Algy (un
locking his door as tlie milkman comes
along) Shay, trll me, John, w ha' time
i.-li it, thish mom in'?
Milkman (of a humorous turn)
4:;a
Algy Haw! It's early. I fawucied
it wath live o'clock!
A MoKMMi Cam. Mrs. l'atlan
gill (t: neighb ir w ho has jut-t "dropped
in'') "No. Klviry, I can't say no,
rai y, I can't, that 1 enjoy goin' to
funerals, Veptin', of couise, when it is
one of my own folks."
I.itki;m.v Coi:i:i t
'oimeet icut two i-.ip talo?
lie No, only one.
Hie What is that?
He C, of course I
Hie Has
He I'.efore promising. Miss I.itlu,
I wish to know if you have anything in
the bank."
.Hie "Yes, Mr. 1'oorniaii 1 have a
lover there. lie is the cashier, sir, an I
we aie to marry next week."
?o iat- I'asiki.s Mr. Hounds
How nicely that Miss lnstyle. fairies
her he ld.
Miss Pukatts Hie ought to cany l!
easily It's so light.
Customer I 'id you say Ten cents?
U.irber Is that too iihm-Ii lor a shaver
Customer Not at all. It would have
cost me ;"i(l to have a siug..ou do that
amount of cutting.
Creat Hle to Avoid I ? l'.mtv
"Where did you g.-t lho.,e troiisalis,
Chollie?
Chollie "What do you want to know
that for?"
le I'anty "Oh, nothing, Chollie;
only so 1 could go somew here else, don't
you know.
Mrs. Housewife (to girl who wan's a
position as domestic) Can you cook,
wach and iron?
lir dget Yes'm. Kin you?
The r.itUTF: Miss Cissy Cord a
You've hroken my heart.
Tom Kluiit Oh, well; accidents will
ha; 'pen I
At the Ilroadway Theatre She
"This melody is simply intoxicating,
isn't it, Ueorge?"
He "i'es, of course; don't you hear
it's a drinking song they are singing."
The Kvil That Men Ho, Ktc City
Editor Heie's a sad piece of intelli
gence. Hare, the .iet is dead.
Copy Ueader J ead? Hooray!
City Editor Yes; hut he left 10,l'C(i
unpublished poems.
J) A t -
;thcir!vorks. especially if
y'bhey use STPGLI 0:
It-is asoiid ca,ke of-scourinj
.rprSO&p used J-ors.ll cleaning'
V-""-- purposes. AU grocers keepil.
LOVE'S LABOR'S
works hcrsell to dsa'.h in the eflort. II the house docs not look as bright as a pin. "h
gets the blame ;i things are upturned while bouse-cleanir.fj gots on why Wane hor
again. One remedy is within her reach. II sha uses SAPOLIO c.erjthira wJ' ludk
clean, and the rcita c! h jL-se-c'aaning Oisordsr viil be quictdy over.
evert WATERPROOF COLLAR cr CJtV
BE UP
TO
THE MARK
n
ha
NEEDS NO LAUNDERING. CAN EZ WIPED GLEAN IN A MOMSTT
THE, ONLY LINEN-LINED WATERPROOF
COLLAH Hi XHS
Don't read !
Don't believe !
better?
Aw. arc yoa
Yoa women who think ,
patent medicines are a W
bi-
ana ur. rierce's Favn-
1T I'l-rTlllf lr- 1, !
. T ...
. luv: uirrrrp,
its best known of all) j "
your lack-of-faith cure co.
It's very easy to don't " i
this world. Suspicion alwar
comes more easily than cor
fidence. But doubt little
faith never made a sicV
woman well and the "Fj.
vorite Prescription " has cu,
thousands of delicate, weak
women, which makes us thir,
that our 14 Prescription
better than your don't believe.
We're both honest Let us
come together. You try Dr
Pierce's Favorite Prescription!
If it doesn't do as represented,
you get your money again.
Where proof's so easy, can
you afford to doubt?
Little but active are Dr
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets.
liest Liver Pills nude; gea.
tie, yet thorough. They rey.
late and invigorate the liver
stomach and bowels.
LEND YOUR EAR
W I I A 'I'
WE HAVE TO SAY.
BEST LOW-PRICED
German and English
rtBUSHEO. ATTHE ItEM lllw BL7
UJW 1'KlCKOIf
Only $1.00, Postpaid. 650 Pages,
Or only $1.50, Postuaid, 1224 Pages.
Tht nook contain IV) FlnMr I'rtntol
of Clear Typo on l-:xlletit l'pr, aa 1 t Udnl.
comely yet Sorvlocably U-unl In Oiocii. It
ptre Knirllsli words wita tbe Gonnin eiuiri
lenta nod pron jnotBtjoa. nl Oitriiui irnrii
with Enifllsh ileflnldoni If pj kn r n-r.
inan word and iluain to know iu moaning!!
Erurhiin. rou loolr in yi part of tba iim
while If the Enirlnti word M tnown nl
want to rransiato It int) German, rou iojic iat
another part or the Hook.
It la invaluable to German wir are ay.
thorouirbjy familiar with Biurilaa. or to lur.
nui who wish to lirn Uarman. ContlJuriix
naidly rou can miLsrrUeriniui witti tin all af
tiilf Dictionary If a half bour py oar u d
voted to aruJy. bow miioo bjiie:k otn M
durlved from toe knowledge, anl h.utea ta
ecad tot liu Urat-oliui booX. ox ai
rogreuc.
Can be hal at any Iloolcstore, at thi ofijt
of this papor, or by applying u
MOR1YITZ & CO.,
G14 Chestnut Street.
I'llII.Al.KM'HI.Y.
WALL PAPER
BARGAINS!
We w ill nuarmnt. all t li. rl-;tn h.-m .- ..l Ju
iiiikI.., aul full lllrilh j.rl. I., tli.- r-..L
A li H. l. roll liii bnrU Thpit. 3 l U .
Au N-vri. rull 1'iiprr. .1 to I Of.
Au yd. r.ill ljtibo,.i. a I f f l'pri-.(al.lft.
lill HurilrM. 4 Iu l! lui-hf . Id., J an4
;ir. per J aril,
flordrra m ll bout ill. 'J lo ! Iih li I c r
v nl-d.
S. ill V In nnill.' fur in of Urn ! Lai
(.Ti'.ili til liiu.'lilli 111 till ri-Wt.ti t.
I-'. XI. OADY,
311.1 IIU.II - I II I I T.
Jlfntlnn thU pnir. I'r.n nli-nrr. R. I.
T;ir,!;,Aj :":;:. ;;:i'My
A Mi.l. r.lmn, .
xTti ff anir tiy ti linn- r.ii ii '
Hll.l I.
Cin.-lntl.lt f,-t"".ti
8 Ohio. jip-A 11 '
T,. -"aSTV ttl.di.
ul '
I. VI 111 '
I hi. at f.
I .1,1 i.y lir.i.i.
STOPPED FREE
I Ilr K 1 IN P S liHKil
N tRV E HKSTORER
HiAiiiiLi if t.k-n.il.rrrt.l . I n 'V rr
.1
- s in in V-r- r I ! All V n f
LOST
by many a woman ho s'.rivfl
!o Dieas tier houscho'il ai.
TON SCALES OF
$60 BiNGHAMTON
iBimBuhreBan W N. Y. ,
1
rr T5
f3 I IJ
THAT CAN BE RELIED OU
ismt to Xl?crl?r31?
EEAR3 THIS MARK.
trade:
r M
u r
MARK
tb3 i S
f