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B. F. SOHWEIER,
THE CONSTITUTION THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor.
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in himself). auj,, tr2
I It tenderly. " f to.
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A IM'Y Who ;4 y
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t'-ry ilon't K, Whv t,.
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r " .:: 't firn. Prepirl obi
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ir :ulnn-nts so easITy,
- no i-xi'uso (or stufi
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u:iil hvpocliou-.-tion.
r:v1 ilrliilily,
sun, it yt
i.-illl' kll'." U lrj
i iiflit r cure iu all
ill ho ri'i'iiiuiril. It
and U j ouUl
iATroN, Proprlctortk
J THE HEAD.
r . r !,n Inn dtandintf, P1'
DOUGLAS
FOR
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VOL. XLIIJ.
Mr. Ji fili eUrat. of tbe Supreme
f'tnirt of the United Mateo, ia sixty
..ne years of af?, six Teet four Inches
luKU and In a fortune. Ilia bnde
rlect Is Mim Kuemia, daughter of Mr.
Justice S.anVy Matthews, tweotj-two
j ears old and kbout a foot shorter than.
Ju.-ti-e Gray. In the rosey realm of
love extremes meet and marry.
Tub elocf.oa of a United States
Senator is a national as well as a KUte
ffiiir, ami although the nation has no
imtiittliate sliare in it, it has a deep
iute:est a:id the ability and high cuar
u::T of a tueaiber of its chief lezlsia
;.ve body. And in a treat measure it
juiliicsof the character of a Stale j
l tie kind of men that are sent to repre
it-tit It iu the natloual councils.
Tn K decision of the French Cabinet
to (uoaecute General Boulauger can
Iiaidiy be considered an act of wisdom.
.No matter wh.it opinion there may be
as to the political machinations in
which the General has been engaged,
there rau be no doubt that he repre
Aents he ex'sllng dissatisfaction
amor 5 the people, and that any prose
cut1.. n of him at this juncture would
inevitably leil to serious international
ttouu.ei. lietter let Boulauger alone.
Tut. sore spot of Samoa, which Is in
a fair way to heal up, would be
iutlauied again if the reported demand
of the German Government for the
it turn of the lntermeddler Klein to
Apia, there to be tried for ''murderous
aMau'.t," should be acceded to. Klein
Jul some damage in Samoa, without
doubt; but to make him a bone of
national contention would only excite
auew ammosltlei which time would
otherwise speedily extinguish.
A new textile has been discovered
in Russia, on the borders of the Cas
pian Sea. The plaut is cailed kanaff
by the natives, and attains a height of
ten ftet. "From it a chemist has
obtained a textile matter which is soft,
elastic aud silky, gives a thread which
Is very tough and can be bleached
without Injury. The stuffs manufac
tured out of kanaS can be successfully
dyed in every shade of color, aud
would compete with any of the ordi
nary furnishing materials now in
ise."
Ins v aitnam v atcn Company Is
protected by a tarift duty of 23 per
cent. It has declared a dividend of SO
per cent , and U will Increase its
capital stock $1,000,000, Its cash
surplus being so large that It Is
unwiehly. This prosperous concern Is
able to undersell foreign competitors
In their own markets, but sreedily
takes advantage of its tariff protection
to fleece American purchasers by mak
ing its borne prices higher than Its
foreign prices. Its stockholders, after
they get their dividend, should make a
reduction in the wages of their
employees In orJer to keep in line with
contemporary corporations.
Ij selecting the seventy-foot waet
Une cutter yacht as the tpye of vessel
best adapted to win in American
waters Lord Dunraven has displayed
greater wisdom than his predecessors
who have challenge 1 for the American
cup. Many British cutters of this
class have done very well on this side,
and one the Madge swept everything
before her a few years ago. It will
require a very fast sloop. Indeed, to
sail away from the coming contestant
for International honors, but the vessel
will no doubt be forthcoming at the
proper time.
Reports corr.e from Ru-oia of a
gieat plot against the life of the Czar,
aud numerous arrests have been made
Lei and It ete in the Empire. The
stiength of the nihilists has either
teen greatly overestimated or else the
secret police deem it to be to their
luterest to revive these stories occa
sionally, and thus leave an lmpressToa
of their wonderful astuteness. If the
conspirators bad even a tithe of the
machinery which it Is claimed they
possess they would long before this
have overthrown the Hussian Gov
ernment. UossiDERiNO the enormous duties
which the United States Imposes upon
Us cabinet officers, the service renderM
is poorly paid. Canada with less than
one-twelfth or our population, pay
cabinet Ulcers $105,000 a year as
against our 104 tx.0. while 1250,000
does not sullice for the annual pay of
the British cabinet at London. And
besides their princely salaries, several
English cabinet offii-ea ent.tle their
bottlers to life pensions. The time is
approaching wheu it will be impossible
for the government to obtain good
service unless It pays as well for It as
private corporations do.
Is tte Pennsylvania Senate a reso
lution was passed, on March 22nd.
appropriating 85000 for the celebration
of the Washington centennial. In t' e
House, the Senate bill providing for an
manual eurollment of all male persons
la the State over 20 years of age, with
an amendmeut leaving the making of
the aunual enrollment optional with
the Legislature, which was made the
special order for the next assem
bly. The resolution authoring
the appointment of commission
ers to revise and digest the
public laws was considered as the
special order, the question being upon
an amendment vesting the appointment
la the Governor rather than the
Supreme Court, but In the absence of a
quorum and after a resort to filibus
tering tactics, an adjournment was
Ukaa without acUojL
MB. AMI MRS. BOWSER.
Tti T) rmnt H u.liantl CtMifroateU
Carefully Preserved Oiar.
by
The other evening Mr. Bowser
looked pale and weary, and I felt it my
duty to ask him If he was ill and to
place my hand on his forehead to see If
he had a fever. He was reading, and
he promptly growled out:
'"Mrs. Bowser, what particular ob
ject have you in pawing around after
that fashion? Do you expect another
dollar?"
lont yon want me to caress you.
Mr. Bowser?"
-I don't want yon to act silly. We
are too old for such nonsense."
"And yet you once expressed the
hope that we might never let an hour
go by without a caress."
1 did. eh? I never expressed any
such thing!"
"And you further said you could sit
and hold my band a whole liretlme and
not be weary."
I never did never!"
"But 1 can prove it,"
"If you can I'll give $40!"
I went upstairs aud got my note
book. Up to the date of our marriage
I preserved and filed all his letters.
On our bridal tour I kept a memorandum-book.
Mothr advised it, and 1
have found It to be a powerful lever
on occasions wheu Mr. Bowser bas
been inclined to "get up." When 1
came down with the book he roared
out:
'Got that old book out again have
you I That's no evidence! 1 brand the
contents as a base forgery !"
"But they are facts for all that.
Let's see. Here we start. Alter the
ceremony was over you said to
mother:
"Statement I. 'I will call you by
the sacred name of mother. You have
given me your only daughter. 1 will
be a true and loving husband to her.
I will guard her as I do my life. 1
will never, so help me Heaven, speak
one unkind word to her.'
"There It Is, Mr. Bowser, and bow
have you kept that promise?"
"Never said a thiug of the sort
peverl 1 dou't remember of your
mother being there. You probably
wrote that down this very day."
"We were married at 7 A. M., Mr.
Bowser, and at 8.15 we took the train
for Chicago. You held my baud all
the way to the depot."
"Mrs. Bowser, you are cr.zl Do
you want to make out that 1 was a
born idiot?"
"Well, here is the proof:
"Statement 1L 'As we g Into the
back Mr. Bowser bad tears in his eyes.
He took my band aul called me his
angel, ai d I had to wipe my nose left
handed all the way to the depot. 1
think the driver saw him. for 1 heard
him chuckling and saying something
about you'd gut over it in about a
year!
"There it Is, Mr. Bowser, in black
and white. This Is the paw you held
for two milesl"
"I deuy it in toto! Mrs. Bowser. I've
got to sit down and have a sharp taik
with you."
"The other night." I continued,
"you were about to put your arm
about me as we stood lu the hall, but
on second thought you concluded not
to."
"I am uo hand to spoon, Mrs. Bows
er never was. Such things look silly
iu old married people-"
"But you bugged me for 2S0
miles."
"What I"
"From Ietriit t- Chicago, Mr.
Bowser, on the same bridal tour,"
"You must be crazy I"
"Well, here's the proof:
"Statement 111. Lett 1) -troit at
9 40 Mr. Bowser put hia arm around
me at ouce. anil though the passengers
winked and guyed us for a bridal
couple, he said he didn't care a copper.
Hugged me ail the way to Chicago.
Said he wished the ride would last
vear. Said that Ileaveu had sent me
to blm. I write this iu room 41 Tre
niont House while Mr. Bowser is down
to look after the trunks."
"That that's there is It?" gasped
Mr. Bowser.
"Of course it M"
"And 1 had my arm around you all
day. giving mself dead away?"
"You did."
"I will never believe It never. I
own up to being a little soft in tuy
bachelor days, but 1 was no hayseed.
You are drifting to a dangerous point.
Mrs. Bowser, aud you should pause tre
It la too Ute!"
"1 like to go over the old times ouce
In a while and see how you have
chsnied."
I "Chamred! Changed! That's it! If
a husband Isn't making a fool of him
self all the time his wile argues that be
' U growing cool aud dlssatisded. How
' have I chanee l?''
I "You never call me your Birdie any
more.
I "o! I don't! I suppose you've got
1 proof that I used to call you Birdie,
when your front uaine is Sarahl"
-I have, sirl Listen wU lu I read:
"Statement IV. Mr. Bowser bought
some gum drops of the train boy to
feed to bis Birdie, as be said, but I
never liked them. He called me Bir-
1 die from that to Chicago and back.
said it meaDt more to him than the
name Aueel.
"Mrs. Bower!" he shouted, as he
lumned ud. ".a my presence desired
in this house?'
"Of course it Is."
"Then do not Dlan to drive me out
nf it I 1 see how wives have driven
husbands to desperation."
Sit down. Mr. Bowser. We are
simply living over old times for a brief
F wiuiA. 1 had to tease you to kiss me
th other niaht."
t "Yes, and I suopoee you have got
anmethim? written down about that.
haven't touT I'm of as loving a dis-
rii.noattinn as the next man. but bow it
H.a look to see a married couple bill
ing and cooing like a couple of young
LI nit."
"And yet you once longed to kiss me
forever,
i never, never did! Don't drive me
to the wall, Mrs. Bowser!"
"I wont, but I want to read a para
rraDb to you. Here It Is:
statement V. Third day of our
tour. I am very. Tery happy. Mr.
Bowser has Just kissed me on the chin
rht.i nose, eyes and ears, and says
hM iiv to keeD on kissing forever.
He says he can hardly htlp biting me
in the chin."
It was a minute before be could say
a word, and the bald spot on his head
... u red as paint, lie finally choked
wi.n hi. feeiines sufficiently to
uuotu -
-ft AnV
i A rand that as pure malice and
forgery! Mrs. Bowser, you must take
that back and apologize to mei"
-now can I? I can read it Just
t .ras written- and I can recall the
MIFFLINTOWN.
clrcuin-Unce. Don't yon kno
yon know we I
had jost returned from?"
.Never! We never returned! Noth
ing of the sort ever happened! I'd
deny it on my aylng be J I"
ou'll next declare that vou didn't
cry In Indianapolis when 1 hurt my
nnger, and that you bound It up In a
handkerchief wet with your tears.'
"Declarel Of course I 11 declare.
I'll swear on forty B b'.ea that 1 never
did!"
With that be rushed np stairs, but
followed him to the landing and
read:
"Statement VI. Accldently plndbed
my Cnger in the door. Mr. Bowser
said It was bis fault, aud the first I
knew he was weepine. After wiping
bis eyes on his handkerchief he pro-
reeded to do np my tinier in the same.
lie has a tender heart."
I knew Mr. Bowser was listening
over the banister, and so maliciously
added.
And. with a little practice, will
no doubt become the champion weepist
of the world.
He tillered a snort and grow!, and
weutoSto bed without a word, but
the next morning he put In an extra
ten minutes frolicking with the baby,
and when ready to go be said to me:
By the way. darl. you'd better go
down and pick yon out a sealskin sack
to day. l was going to get it for next
Cristmas, but you might as well have
the wear of it now."
rXXLI.Q THE POL.ICH
Six
Harvard Men Have Lota of Fu
Wlib a Uarber'a Pole.
Not a great while ago a party of half
dozen narvard students were In a
barber's shop in this city, says the Bos
ton Transcript, and alter having been
beautified and adorned tonsorially, one
of the numlier was struck with an idea.
it was communicated to his compan
ions, and without a dissenting voice
agreed to. The proposition was noth
ing less than to purchase the barber's
pole, which was done, and a receipt
taken. Theu the young men Sallied
forth with their striped and parti-col
ored acquisition. They had not gone
far, however, when they were over
hauled by a policeman.
'Hello, there! what are you doing
with tbat pole?"
" That's our business."
"You're business, eh? "Well I'll
make It mlue. Come along with me."
They were marched straight to the
nearest station, aud stood up ia line
before the captain.
"What's the trouble, officer?'' asked
the cat tain.
"Stealing a barber's pole."
The ctliot-r telt quite prou I of his
capture, and related with particularity
all the circumstances of his arrest.
The captain looked upon the offenders
and was about to order them to be
locked up for the night when one of the
students pi educed a paper and sug
gested that perhaps the captain might
like to look at that- The captain
looked - at it. Then, turning to the
policeman, he said: "Ofllcer, you
may return to your beau" A moment
later the students might have been
seen filing out of the station with their
tonsorlal standard held proudly aloft.
Ibey had not gone far, however.
when they were again brought to a
halt by another officer, who, like bis
predecessor, wanted to know where
they were going w ith that pole. He
was informed that ttiat was their busi
ness, and be in turn assured them that
he would make it his business, which
he did by escorting them to the self
same station which they bad Just
quitted.
" hat's the trouble, officer?"
"These fellers have stole a barber's
pole, and "
"V ery well; you may return to your
beat!"
The captain smiled as be dismissed
the students. Hardly bad be resumed
his unwonted gravity of aspect before
the door opened and again entered a
policeman, six young men aud a
barber's pole.
And so It went on. Six several
times were the students and their bar-
berous property bought by as many
different policemen into that station,
aud had not an officer been specially
sent out to warn all patrolmen under
no circumstances to Interfere with six
young men and a barter's pole it Is
more than likely that that pole aud Its
bearers would have been brought Into
that station as many tiurjs tbat night
as there were uatroleiueu In the dis
trict.
People who wondered what was the
cause of the hilarious laughter which
proceeded from the usually grave and
quiet station on the night in question
are now f ullr informed of the same.
Name Cards.
Originality Is a marked feature of
name cards (or dinners aud luncheons,
and ingenious deulces of many kiuds
consequently figure at fashionable en
tertainments, in ca'iioruia rea wood
bark has been utilized by skillful fing
ers, and in the east, where it is easily
obtained, birch bark is In favor. A six
or e ght inch square ot Dirco Darn nas
the left band corner folded over and
caught with a pin. This impoverished
cornucopia may hold a bunch of violets,
forget-me-nots or any otuer diminutive
blossoms. Decorator aud Furnisher,
which describes this and other cards,
a1 vises tbat care be taken to use only
such colors as will harmonize with the
remainder of the table decorations, as
nothing is so ruinous to the general ef
fect as a miugliug of 111 assorted colors
in flowers.
A PRETTY DINNER CARD.
The little round straw Japanese
plaque may be utilized If one bas not
time for elaborate work. A ribbou is
tied across the center, upon which in
scribe tbe name and date. The ribbou
will bold in place a small bunch of
fairy faces pamies, or a sna'.l posy of
wild flowers.
A rather pretty ilea la that of fast
ening the name card to a small wicker
basket filled with bonbons. Oue side
presents an express company's tag.
while tbe name and date are plainly
written on the other. The basket is
covered with a while satin napkin,
with a Greek border edged it blue ink.
Small palettes ot any flne'.y polished
wood make an effective background
npon which to describe a fanciful conceit-
Birch bark canoes, filled with
sugar plums, to which ia attached the
card are not novelties, but still are
pretty and artistic enough to be used.
Black brtlliantlne. tn combination
with black watered silk
i. . nA.i.r
costume with ladies who
i wear light'
JUNIATA COUNTY.
crRioes wagers.
I
llxaiuplea ot "Koola Arguments" Out
uflba Muhtj t'ul.
It has been remaiked tbat "a collec
lion of foolish wagers would make a
voluminous work;" and so odd are
I tome of tl ese "fools arguments," as
Butler pithily terms them In hia "IIu
1 iotas." that a selection of some of the
j most curious may prove not uninter-
! eating.
j During the last century, when, par
; ticuUtrly in club life, the least differ
ence of opinion frequently ended in a
bet. many remarkable and eccentric
i wagers were made.
In 17 a poulterer of LeaJenhall
market betted JL50 he would walk 202
times round tne area of Upper Moor-
fields in twenty-seven hours; and
accordingly proceeded at the rate ot
five miles an hour on the amusing pur
suit, "to the infinite improvement of
his business and great edification of
hundreds of spectators."
To characterize the follies of the
day it will be necessary to add to the
account of the walking man another
of a hopping man, whoengaged. in De
cember, 1731, to bop 500 yards in fifty
j hops in Sr. James' park. He performed
me tea i, in loixy-six.
TRIALS OF SPEED.
In February, 1770, a bet was laid by
a noble earl that be should find a man
who would rtde to Edinburgh and back
again to London in less time than an
other noble earl should make a million
dots In the most expeditious manner he
could contrive.
In September, 17(19, a Colonel Rosa
set out from London for York, on a
wager with a Mr. 1'lgot of Sou guineas
tbat he reached his destination in
forty-eight hours ou the same horse.
He pei formed the Journry tbrea hours
within the time.
On the 17tb of May, 1317, a respect
able farmer of Kirton-Lludsey, tor a
wager of a few pounds, undertook to
ride a pony up two pair of stairs into
a chamber of the Geo:, e inn and down
again, which feat he actually performed
before a numerous company, whose
astonishment was heightened by the
rider being upward of eleven stone
weight and his horse less than thirty
stone.
They were weighed after the
feat, to decide another wager.
In The Anuual 11 gister for 1733 we
find the following: 'A young Irish i
gentleman, for a very considerable
wager, set out on Monday. September
22, to walk to Constantinople and back
again In one year. It is said tbat the
young gentleman has 20,000 depend
ing on tbe performance of the exploit."
The Karl of March, on laying a bet
that be would cause a message to be
dispatched a certain distance quicker
than any horse could convey it, won
his wager by inclosing bis message in a
cricket ball, which was thrown from
hand to hand by relays of professional
cricketers. As Duke of Q ieensberry,
be betted 1.000 guineas that be would
produce a man who would eat more at
a meal than auy one whom Sir John
Lade could find. The duke was in
formed of bis success not beinz
present at tbe achievement by t'.ia
following bulletin from tbe field ot
battle: "My lord, I have not time to
state particulars, but merely to ac
quaint your grace that your man beat
his antagonist by an apple pie,"
BETTING ON DEATH.
At White's coffee house, where, dur
ing the last century, gaming was car
ried on to heavy amounts, a book was
always laid upon the table for entering
wagers, and in these betting books,
some of which still exist, may be found
bets ou all conceivable subjects; on
marriages, births, deaths; on tbe dura
tion of a ministry, on the chance of an
election, ou a rascal's risk of the halter
or tbe shock of an earthquake.
Walpole, writing to Sir Horace
Mann, September 1, 1750, says: "They
have put into tbe papers a good story
made at White's. A man dropped
down dead at tbe door and was carried
in. The club Immediately made bets
whether be was dead or not; and when
they were gulng to bleed bim, the
wagerers for bis death interposed, and
said It would uffect tbe fairness of the
bet." I
Certain it Is that during this period
no subject appears to have been tooj
serious for a bet ; and that nothing was
considered too trivial a medium, the
following lines, founded on ract, bear
witness:
Tbe Bucks bad dlusJ, and deep la,
council sat;
Their wine was brilliant, but tbeir wit
grew flat.
Up starts his lordship to the wludsw
flies.
And lot "A race! a race!" In rapture
cries.
-Where?" quoth Sir John "Why, see
two drops oi rain
Start from the summit or the crystal
pane;
A thousand pounds whUh drop, with'
nimblest force.
Performs Its curreut down tbe slipp'ry
course."
Tbe bets were made; in dire suspense
they wait
For victory, peudant on the nod of
Fate.
Now down tbe sash, unconscious of the
prize.
The bubbles roll, like pearls from
Cbloe's eyes.
But, ah! tbe glitt'rng J ya of life are
short;
How oft two jostling Bteeds have spoiled
the sport!
Si, thus attraction, by coercive laws,
Th' approaching drops Into one bubble
draws.
Each cursed bis fate that thus their
project crossed;
How bard their lot, who neither won
nor lost!
A Parrot btory.
A parrott was recently bought by a
South Side lady upon tbe affidavit of
the man who sold it tbat it had only a
Sunday school education. Tbe bird bad
in reality been tbe property of a saloon
keeper, and, its cage being near tbe
cracker bowl, everybody made free to
give it crackdrs and teach it tough
words, its new mistress had hardly got
It bung up when a lady friend called,
and, of course went into ecstasies over
the parrot. When she began to poke
ber fingers through the ca?e and called
out "Polly, Folly. Folly," the bird
opened one eye, cocked bis bead side
wise, looked at tbe visitor, and said
with great gravity:
-Now. tor God's raka don't ask me
to have a cracker. I've sworn off."
The piut brush that prove 1 to be a
: bargain was cleaned in t.imxntina mch
time lu work was done, dried, and
bang np by lu handle.
I'ENNA.. WEDNESDAY. APRIL 17. 1SS9.
The Song of Songs.
I'm a man tbet's fond o music.
An" le'cn folk, are not erouad,
1 kin make our old acorjun
fcu,uak a nilbty talclu' aunnd;
An' ll.el hanjer barium' yandar.
With it. (ient!e T liuk, plank, pUnk,
'Pyear. to Kit pluuib at lb. bottom
Uf thedeepn' thoughts I tnink.
Poea me heaps o good on Sunday.
'For' the prav'r at cl.uicb is aal.l,
Jr. to .taut an' fayear "Old Hundred"
tioarin' tnr up overheatll
An' 1 'moat kin rpy tbe ancel
Leanln 'crost tbe gat up tuar.
When old Abrnm Blarkburn'. darter
Leads us In -feweet Your ' Pray'r."
But ef you (b'u'd waut to we me
Wen 1 hew my broadaT sinil".
Ton must kercb uie In Ibekiicben,.,
Wen the kiltie ' on tbe bllfl
Fer 1 claim tbar ain't no warbliu
E ver ris on red-bir.l.' wlna
Th. t kin bolt a taller e.ndle
To tbe ong the kittle .inn.
Seem ex ef my sonl gits meller
In tbe kittle', first sweet note.
Till I fancy wed.lin' music
Screaaia' Tom tbe Iron lu'oat.
Eeca times, ef 1 tquent my eyes np,
1 kin fably 'pyear to Me
Old man Abruin Blackburn's darter
iauilliu' tboo tbe .team at met
THE FARMER'S WIFE.
Here I have stood in the wide, roomy
, kitchen for the past sixty years, and.
' as you may suppose, have seen many
things in my day. As a rule, I am
I good natured unless a small boy pokes
1 me with a stick, or another ill-coudl-
tioned little wretch evinces a desire to
' pry into my internal economy; such
rudeness always riles me and tick away
patiently in my corner, where the
morning sunbeams peep in merrily to
keep me company.
It was a bouuy day for us all when
tbe young master brought home bis
little bride. Such rejoicing was there.
and such dinners! Adjectives fail me
when I try to describe them, so I'll
stop rtsht off. The bride was young.
and pretty, and sweet, but alas! she
knew not how to cook! Was not that
a sad thing tor a farmer's wife? Many
are the days l have watcneu ner
watched
- scorching her delicate face, and rough
eninz her white bauds, in the fruitless
-endeavor to cook some dainty dish that
John liked;' and many ruined loaves,
and blackened heaps of pie-crust were
the result of these efforts.
i His mother's patience she had none
too much at the start began to give
out at 'such reckless waste of flour and
lard.' and It is my own private idea
tbat Mrs. John soon tot k up tbe noaou
that cooking wasu't in her line, for she
Stopped 'spoiling things' and left tbe
old la'ly in peace.
But in other ways she was a sun
beam in the dlnzy old house. To be
Sure, everything was as clean as a new
dollar, but no power ou earth could
make a kitchen look pretty with a
hideous, flowered oil-cloth on the
dining table, curtaiuless wiudows, aud
a rough wash-beuch 'where the men
"tolks always spruced up a bit Del ore
going to the table.
But young Mrs. Grey soon had
things ship-shape, 1 cau tell you. She
didu't go about it othclously, either,
for if she bad. we'd have heard from
Mis. Grey, senior. Oh.nol that wasu't
tbe wav at all. and I don't believe 1
can tell you bow she coaxed, and sug
gested, first one thiug and then another,
in ber pretty, sweet way; but, at auy
rate, before many weeks rolled over our
beads the kitchen was a marvel of
beauty. Tbe table rejoiced iu snow
white linen; delicate blue shades sott-
eced the glare from the wiudows, and
the broad sills held pots of roses and
geraniums. Close by bung a golden
canary tbat sang and kept ua bouuti
fully supplied with music; near thw
shining stove stood several cushioned
rockers, and the ugly wash-beuch was
banished to tbe back kite! en, where
the men must perform their ablutions
iu future. What with the sanded floor.
the glittering rows of tins and crooks
on the dresser, the pretty paper rack and
carved book shelves these last Mrs.
John's Idea I lust took up the notion
that nobody's bouse could beat ours.
Tbe little daughter-in-law's girlish
laughter and joyous songs gushed forth
now and then, as if she couldut keep
them In anv Ionizer. Bright flowers
slowed constantly in tbe tall, old-fash
loned vases on either side of me, the
odor of which was very agreeable after
workinot bard all day,
, Though tbe mother thought It a silly
Idea, the permitted tbe little thing to
have ber way in decking tbe dinner
table with flowers and all sorts of pretty
trifles pleasing to the young eyes.
thought things were going along mighty
smooth and pleasant till one day Miss
Tauitba Sims ttepped in ana popped
herself down In the most comfortable
rccker in our kitchen, and commenced
, wagging her meddlesome tougue.
Well, how'a things getting along
: lth you. Frlscilla?' aked Miss Sims,
letting ber small, inquisitive eyes roam
over all tbe pretty things in the room.
' She had been od visiting when John
brought home bis little wife, and this
was tbe first time she bad seen our
chaneed bouse.
1 'I'm tolerably poorly, &!J Mrs.
Grey. 'Cooking dont't agree with me
like it used to, and warm weather's
coming on. too. 1 reckon tbat Is tbe
' main reason for my feeling tad.'
Why. where Is John's wife? Don
she help you with tbe cooking, and
, milking, and butter making?' said Miss
i Sires, lifting ber bead like a terrier
when he's wot a freh scent.
, 'Well, the fact Is. Bessy bas no taste
' for cooking.' sighed Mrs. Grey. That
Is tbe one thorn in my flesh; I think
every woman who is a farmer's wife
. ought to understand that sort of work
or she la a failure. John brought this
young thing from a city life, and
don't reckon she hardly knew whether
butter grew on trea or not; and she'i
brought most of her city ideas here
witn her. too. yon see.'
Mrs. Grey glanced significantly
around tbe dainty kitcben, but ber face
didu't get very bard, for she couldn'
help seeing bow nice and tasteful
everything looked.
Well, there's just this much about
it.' said Miss Tabitha, with an indlg
nant sniff. 'I wouldn't have any
daughter-in-law dictating to me bow I
should arrange my house; why, she's
even moved ont the wash bench I
suppose the parlor now must be
wonderful to behold,' sarcastically.
Well, yes, t. e whole house la mighty
nice,' said ilrs. Grey. I never knew
before fo.ks could fix things np so
pretty for so little money; though
goodness knows 1 never bad much
'"ic to try, with all my butter to
make np for the marxet, eggs to hunt,
chickens to tend to, b-tls to make, and
VVAIt.Uj( W UU MIV U UU TCabUlJ
with fifteen to twenty hands to feed, I
tell yon it's uo child's play.'
'No, Indeed, it ain'tl' said Miss
Tabitha, sympathetically. Ani I tell
you what, when barvestin' comes
again, I'd have her help me, or I'd
know tbe reason why.
Lor I I'd as soon put a big wax doll
to work over the cooking stove, as ber,
with ber pink cheeks and golden hair,'
said Mrs. Grey. 'But Come and let me
show you the bouse. '
They both left the kitchen, and for a
while I lelt pretty indignant at the way
they talked about dear little Bessy, who
had brought us so much sunshine aud
happiness; 1 bad no way of showing
my anger, however, except by striking
very hard and then stopping all of a
sudden with a snap.
I wonder what does all tbat old
clock? It acts so queer at times,' cried
Mrs. Grey, rushing back into tbe
kitchen, followed by Miss Sims.
'It's getting old. my dear,' said tbe
latter. ,If you bad run as.many years
as that old fossil, you'd act queer, too.'
Now this made me angry with Miss
Sims, and I never will forgive ber as
loug as I live! Old, Indeed, the spiteful
minx l vt by, she can't be ou the suuny
side of sixty herself I
And what does lady Elizabeth do all
the time you are working so bard?'
said Miss Sims, resuming ber seat, and
continuing a conversation she bad
started in tbe other part of the bouse.
bhe embroiders aud writes a good
deal of her time,' I believe, answered
Mrs. urey.
'Embroiders and writes. Upon my
word! A nice way to spend ber time.
truly, while you are doing the drudgery.
tV ell, there a no telling what the world
is coming to, aud us with it. What
does she do with all ber embroidery and
wrltin' alter she's Cuisued 'em, any
how?'
I'm sure I can't telL I've often
wondered myself.
And haven't you never found out?
Miss Sims seemed so astonished at
this want ot curiosity that she almost
tumbled out of her set.
1 would like to see myself staying
In the house with a woman this long
and not find out what she was doing.
no matter how big a secret it was!'
Ob, it's no secret. I suppose!' said
Mrs. Grey. liust guess she writes a
good many letters to ber flue city
fr.ends, and sends the embroidery to
them as presents.'
Uumphl pretty extravagant for poor
John I iteally, there Is no telling what
she might take to next. Friscilla. I'm
sorry for you.
OU, she s a good little thing enough?'
sighed Mrs. Grey, 'but I could wish
she was more suited to a farm life.'
Tbey talked on some little time
longer, and then the visitor rose to go,
'Won't you slay to tea, labiiha?'
'No, I thank you. l'riscilla. I have
three other calls to make this evening.
aud must be going,' sai I the old gossip;
and I knew as well as if she had told
me that she was going to spread every
word Mrs. Grey had said, and more
beside, all over rattletown.
The mother bustled about aud soon
bad supper ready, and at six o'clock
pretty, gleeful Bessy, who was scarcely
moie than a child herself, rode borne
from the meadow on a load of hay with
little Bob, John's orphan nephew, and
John driving ou the front seat. How
do I know? Why, 1 saw them through
the window, in the barn lot, to be sure
How elsd should I know?'
It did my heart good to see this
blithe young creature enlivening the
old tolks with her merry chatter. Every
night after supper she would help Mrs.
Grey wash and put away the things.
and put the kitchen in order, then she
would draw the old white-haired
father's chnlr for him out ou the porch
in the warm evenings, and lighting his
pipe with her own willing fingers, seai
berseir at his knee to iisteu to th,
stories of a long vanished lime aud ape
that be loved to tell. What Is more
soothing to old ieople than the loving
attention of the young t -No doubt it
must have made John awfully happy
to see how his wife was stealing into
his pareuts' hearts.
A year and then another rolled by.
One night, at supper, John lo.ikeJ sad.
and wouldn't eat the slices of delicious
bread and rich cream that bis mother
pressed on him; eveu when little Bessy
broke open a boiled egg, and prepared
it lu a glass with butter and pepper and
salt for him, he was uot tempted. Now
if a man refuses food, and especially
when offered by such bauds at hers.
everybody knows there is something
wrong.
What is the matter, John dear?' Bbe
said, going to bis chair and resting
tender baud on bis shoulder. 'Are you
sick, that you have no appetite r
I he look on ber sweet face was
enough to make any man pretend sick
ness just to bring it there.
'No, I'm not sick, said John, lean
ing his head dejectedly on his band,
'but I'm teriibly d aappointedl'
'Why. what lias happened, my son?'
said the (Id man, looking anxiously at
the troubled countenance of his boy.
'Oh.' said John. I know It Is childish
to act In this way, and I am ashame i
of myself, but you all know bow I
have toiled for years, my sole ambition
being to be able one day to buy the
Arnold Farm, which Is the richest
piece of land in all this country; the
bouse Is comfortable, too, with ail the
modern conveniences. I've always
thought, aud especially since my mar
r age, that it I could get that place I
would be a contented man; but I never
dreamed of its being put up for sale so
soon alter the last party bought It, and
was hoping all along that when it did
sell the figure would not be too high
for me. But yesterday tbey put up
advertisements on trees and lences for
miles along the turnpike, saying that It
would be sold for five thousand dollar"
cash and not a cent less. I saw A rnold
to-day, and be said be was very anxious
to leave immediately, and would sell
it to me the next hour for forty-five
hundred If I bad the money. 1 tntd
to compromise by paying the greater
part down and a small balance In the
text six months; but he said It must be
cash or nothing; that he was In need of
the money lor another investment, lit
told me that be preferred to sell It to
me privately, if be poss.bly could, foi
be hated auction sales.'
'My son, I wish that I could help
you,' said bis father; 'but I have very
little in the bank since I sent that lait
check to James, and this year's crops
have not been sold yet.
I know it. father; I know yon wonld
help me if you could, and feel grateful;
but it seems hard tbat 1 should lose
such a splendid bargain just for tbe
want ot four hundred dollars,' and
Jobn looked very much as if he were
going to cry. 'Four hundred dollars!
Jobn, did you say it was only four huu
dred dollars you needed to close the
bargain? exclaimed Bessy, consumel
with some great excitement.
xes. little fairy god-mother.' said
John, playfully. He never spoke
shortly to her, no matter how much he
was worried. 'It Is the very enormous
sum of four hundred dollars. Do vou
think you could run out into the yard
and pick up a handful of leaves for me
and convert them into money?'
I can do a great deal better fian
that, for fairy money melU away. I
am told, but mlue is more substantia!.
Just wait a minute.'
Before anv oue could speak she
darted ont of the room, and we could
hear her little feet running up the
stairs. Even before we expected ber
she was back again, with a small Rus
sian leather bag hi her band, which she
inrew to John.
'Open that,' she said, with a spark
ling eyes and flushing cheeks. "It is a
little present from me to you.'
John obeyed in a stupetled manner.
while everybody watched iu breathle:is
excitement. Putting In bis baud be
drew out not a plum, like the prover
bial young Horner but a round roll
of green-tacks, and could not have
been more astonished If the moon had
suddenly descended on his head.
Amazement and silence reigned su
preme for a moment; then John gasped:
" here did this money come from?'
The young wife crept timidly and !
with childish grace to his side. j
'1 earned every cent of it, John.'
'You? Am 1 dreaming?' exclaimed
ber husband.
Yes,' she said, regaining courage as
she talked; 'for two years I have done
embroidery on One flannel for Messrs.
relt & Draper's dry goods bouse in
Baltimore, and have beeu liberally paid
for it, too. I have also written short
articles for magazines, which have
brought me in a snug little sum. A
short time ago the proprietors of the
miigazine for which I have been writ
ing, requested me to furnish them a
story with an illustration, to be the
product entirely ol my own imagination.
I compiled, having entitled it 'The
Dream 'the gist of which was a mother.
In a semi-nude state, seeking a danger
ous coast with her children, where,
perched upon a high rock, she endi-avors
. o teach them how to swim. Great
was the mother's relief, upon waking,
to And It only a dream. This assured
my success as a writer ot this class or
literature. Most of the money just
given you was paid in consideration of
this article alone. John, dear, 1 did
all this for you. I knew I could never
be a farmer's wife In tbe old accepted
senee of the word that is, in cooking,
churning, milking, and all that sort of
thing, but I would make money for you
in another way. isn't it nice, though,
that 1 have earned tbe exact sum you
need, John?'
Then she turned to Mrs. Grey.
'Mother, I am afraid you thought I
was trilling away a good deal of valua
ble time, but I knew 1 could make it
all right with you some day; eveu if 1
can't cook, I'm not quite the droue you
thought uie, am 1?'
She said 'his with a very wistful look
in ber great blue eyes. Mrs. Grey got
straight up from tbe table, and going
to ber, threw both substantial arms
about ber neck, and drew the golden
head to ber shoulder. Her eyes,
usually so bard aud bright, were filled
with tears.
My daughter,' she cried, with a sob
hi her voice, 'I have much forgiveness
to ask of you, aud It shows what a
bigoted old fool I have been. I did
think, sometimes, you ought to bav
taken more interest In cooking, an I
helied me with it, insteal of embroid
ering and writing so much to your
'rieuds. You see it never occurred to
me that some people are born to do one
thing, and some to doauother. Cooking
is my forte, and making money In a fai
more agreeable aud retlned way is
yours. Why, you could earn more in
one year at that sort of work than I
could lu live! Will you ever forgiv
me, my dear, for having had such
thoughts of you?'
The little daughter-lu-law pressid
her sweet lips to the old lady's cheek,
and whispered that she had nothing to
forgive; that she was just as happy as
she could wish to be In this world.
Indeed, I tbmk they were all up
roariously happy, and took turn about
in kissing ber, and making a great fusi
over her. John declared he was certain
that no man ever had a sweeter, de.irer
little help-mate before. Even I, seila'e
'old Ioj-siI' that I am, felt rididul ius.y
happy, and wish that my maker ha.l
enabled me to laugh; actually, I should
have liked to tumble down off ni
shelf, or do something else equally a
absurd, to show my appreciation ol
this hour for rejoic'ng.
Oh, yesl I musn't forget to say that
Miss Sims favored us with a call, cot
mauy days later, and Mrs. Grey set her
right on a great many points concern
ing ber daughter-in-law's character.
and she never dared, that is, in our
hearing, to say an uncivil thing of ber
again.
John, with 'the Bessy fund.' as he
laughingly called his wife's money, wai
enabled to buy the loug-coveted far ja.
aud It was not many months before we
were all in the new farm-house, aud as
happy and well regulated a family as
you ever beard of. I was given my
accustomed place of honor ou the
kitcben staff, and soon got used to my
pretty new home and surroundings aud
liked it even more than the old, for it
was much belter furnished, and seemed
tbe sweetest borne in the world; but
then I haven't seen many, I dou't
know but what a kitchen is as good a
place In which to study bumau nature
as almost any other. I, at least, Lave
seen several things in my time.
As the years rolled swiftly by, they
brought us new joys and responsibili
ties. Tbe table had to be ma le larger
fort tbe accominolt'on of two bright
haired cherubs who graced it, aud yuite
demoralized tbe ouce decorous kitchen
with their frolicsome racket. I have
to fear a great deal from those chubby
fisted youngsters aud they are ab'ut
tbe only trial I have. They pick at me
with their prying fingers until I wish I
was dead. But trials are unavoidable
In this world.
Silver combs are In high favor.
Among tbe prettiest are those tbe top
of which are entwined with enameled
mignonette.
All skirts of fine wool should be
draped over a foundation skirt, thernl y
avoiding tbe limp effect of unsupported
wool draperies.
By keeping the cattle off the pasture
one day longer In the Spring you may
keep them upon it two days loader in
tbe Fall.
A bandy thin 7 to have is a box con
taining an assortment of bolts, nuts,
rivets, nails, and a hammer, pinchers
acJ colJ-;uiael.
NO. 17.
NEAVS IN iiRIEF.
At New Heaven, nver.tly, Thomas
.1. Osborn w rote K3 word of memor
ized matter on the t ypt writer in half a
in iu uie breaking the rect rl.
' The President of these forty-two
United States whs just 55 years, 7
months km 1 14 davs old upoa the date
be assumed ollice.
I In New York city, according to a
prominent merchant of that place.
7,lKXJ book-keepers are looking for
work, which they would gladly do for
flO a t-, k.
The making of lamp eludes is a
very lucrative business for women iu
, Knlau 1. A uianuf act urer ot lamps lu
j Iymdou pays one h'.dy JJiKJ a month for
shales. They aie da.uty mixtures of
, tilk and lace.
A crnzfl for taking fljwerstoscho.il
recently sprung up Hinong children in
Atlien, Ga and eveutiiiily resulted lii
no much extra work for the Janitors
that an orier, excluding flowers from
class uwui', hal to be Issued.
The display of women's work at
tbe con-inj international Exposition lu
Paris will Include exhibits from over
thirty countries. Sp.ice for the display
has beeu made lu the educatijiial de
partment. Schools of pharmacy for women
are a product of later days Teu year,
ago theie were but two women drug
gists In tie eouutry. Snw there are
over 2,000 and the uuuib.-r is con
stantly increasing.
During the first quarter of this
year 7J0 applications for pensions were
received at the Maine Male lVusiou
Office. It Is expected that the number
will reach Mid or ISO;) befoie D-win-ber
21. Last year thie wcie l-'MJ ap
plications. John Wanamaker's country place
at Jeukiutow n, Pa., is Ins pi ide and
Joy. He has a flue collection of cattle,
and bis Cowers are very vaiuible. 11 s
roses and orchids are woithy t t nole,
aud his rhododendrons aie famous iu
Pennsylvania.
Italy has eac'i year nearly M.hI.iM)
cases oi tyhoid fever, with 27,tl!!
deaths, according to Pi',i.-sor Kuata.
A third of the population reaching the
ae of forty-live have the leve.-, and
more than three prr cent, die liotn it lu
some localities.
The violinist Joachim uiaiie his
debut as a prodigy at seven years of
aie, playing in a duet w ith ins teacher
Sz rvackinsky. A b.inqut-1 to celebrate
the lilt'eth minivers, ly of his debut was
given Murcli 14 at Cambridge, Eng
land, bs the Cambridge 1'nlverslty
M usical Society.
Stephanie, the w Mowed frown
Princess of Austria, was .spoken of lu
the accounts of l.i r wedding as "the
most beautiful 1'iince.s.s in huiope."
.Now it Is said of her: '-K she hid been
a chambermaid m a hotel in. body
would iiave noticed her. s i co.uiuon
place was htr phjaionomy. "
The place in the ojien Illb'e wheie
General Hamsun's lips touched wheu
he to ik the o.ith were the three verses
of the 12lst IValin as billows:
I Hill lilt II ! Ill . 1 1" '!-" 1 1 III. I M-.. Ij.i.-i, i . .
W ln-litx ....III. -Ill HIV I. .-!!.
M ll.'lp -o ill I I i r 1 1 1 111- I. i.l u h.. !, in t l ,
li.-u i i it ttn.t .-ai l h.
II.- w iii a,. I -uil.-r ih r .,( i.. i... hi .i - 1. I. j
thai ki.-i llli til.-.- w ,ii ii, .1 - ti'ii-i, i .
' Ju lioNiou natural history gardens
Hre to lie established in connect ion with
the public: paik system. The TV.ot
.M if or Uo.--t. in reports that the Sup
erintendent of our . Hjiogical (Jard.'ii
has bien invited to vis.t tlio Hub an 1
aid lu making plaus K.r tl.j buildings
and liijinii out the grotiii .Is at 1'iankliu
Park.
Maunder Thompson of the "Sai l
Paihii" Comic Opera Cjinpmy has
brought suit against the New Yolk
ituM for libel and $'j(HjihJ damages
for criticisms of his pioductiou. iu
these it was said that too much of the
work was boldly taken from the opei
Htas of Miauss and Sullivan for It to
nave much right to htle, Itself original,
and the libieUo wai e.iually bad.
Miss Mary ('alien lei !s an orphan
of twe'ity-live years, Willi j J ihhiioii.
Miss li.tvis, a daughter .r John V.
Davis, has JJ.i.o i.ihiii. -1 iss ( ieuientla
Purines has j J,oii,uijii; her blstei
Sophia, has the same ttmu.it. Mlsa
Evelyn Van Wert lunei ited iJ.'Mj.o i'J
from her grandfather. Hie late Marshal
O. ltoberis; Mie is twenty vars old.
M.ss Daisy Stevens, fie oldeit daugh
ter of Frederick Stevens, is another
young beauty with SJ.hi.i (iii. Miss
Grace Wilson, tli youu.'es daughter
of Kichard T. Wilson, is ju,l seventeen,
aud Is worth 1,0jU,juj.
Four gentlemen engne-I lu com
merce iu an Eastern seajMiil city were
heated unliellev.-rs in the common
superstition regaid ng l i .lty as an
unlucky day. They determined t(.
show their contempt for and explode
the silly notion. So they lvau to
build a ship ou Friday, tin shed her on
Friday, launched her ou Friday, mixed
ber riday, hired a caplalu ou Friday
and started her oir to sea on Friday,
The ship was never hear ! from.
Among the many American womeu
who have made National reputations
there are not a lew whose winking
days are about over. Prominent ainonn
the eldest of them aie the following, to
whose n tmes are appen led their birth
places and birthday.-: Frances E. Wil
Jiard, Church vide. N. Y., September
2H, l-i'J; Rose Terry t'ooKe, Hartford,
Conn., February 17, 18-7; jul'a Ward
Howe, New York, May 21, 1-13; Gall
Hamilton. Hamilton, Mass ; Harriet
G. Hosmer. Watertown. ilass. . Oclo-
1 ber 9, l-.'i); Louise M .niton, I'omfret.
Conn., April 10, l-v;o; Harriet lieecher
Stowe, LitcuiielJ, Conn., June 11,
lail.
The most vt.l uable freak among
fTiuie museum cuiosilies is Lucia
' Zarate, "tha Mexicau iiiiJg. t." She
! has made her father rich. She maiu
i talus her family, t ik-s a mai l arid In
terpreter around Hie, country aud
draws a salary of 7c0 a week. Sim
receives more than almost any opera'.ia
j star in the land. She ia small enough
1 to make money but large enough to
I enjoy it. Sim Insists ujKju living at
the moat luxurious hotels, never rides
In anything but a cmio nn 1 always
' eats a handsome sup;er, Washid dowu
' by champagne at nuht.
I The M 1-ses Armour, daughters of
Herman O. Armour, of th) great beef
1 packing firm, have i",)0,0ijij apiece.
' and are likely to have a great deal
more. Kocktleller, the Standard Oil
King, lias two daughters, each posses
sing f o.UOO.OO'J. They teach mission
I schools. Miss Amy LV-hrop, a niece
of Ex-Governor Stanford, of Call'oruia,
has 15,000.000, and will probably In
herit 120,000, 00'J more when her unci"
tltv. She, is only twenty years o;i
A LOST GIRL
r,