1
ARTHUR'S MESSAGE
flit (be Prtsidwt, in His First CoEBuicalion,
Eccomsiuids to Congress.
HIST SUBJECTS DISCUSSED
Tbt Panama Canal Matter and the Financial
Situation Reviewed.
SD1ISTEISS ABtXJT THS STAR EOUTES
A. Word In BolaUoo to the Mormons Civil
Service Reform.
Washington, December 6.
The Presideat's meaBtge, which wis Mat to
CrogreM to-day, is a very volamiooas document.
2a opeaisx his message the President says:
An appal-in calamity has befallen the American
people ataae their chosen reprcaealalivea teat met
fa the balla where yon axe now aaaeoibled. Vfm
itcbt also recall, with unaltered content, the rare
prosperity with which. throe bout the year, the
nation has hen blcwed. Ita harreate have been
ntateoos. Ha Tariooa indoatriee have thriven, the
fcaeith at the people hae been preeanred. U haa
Miotained with Soreiff governments the nndis-
iBrbed relations of amity and peace. For these
suaiiestatians of His tavor we owe to Him
who holds oar destiny in His hands the tribute of
ar ffratcfui devotion. To that mysterious exercise
of His will which has taken from us the loved and
Blnstriou citizen wbo was but lately the head of the
anon we bow in sorrow and submission. The
Biemory oX his exalted character, af his noble
achievements and of his patriotic life will bo treas-
mrsd forever as a sacred poeaeasion of the whole peo
mie. The announcement of his death drew from for
eign governments and peoples tributes of sympathy
and sorrow, wine History will record as signal
tofc-rt" of the kinship of nations and the federation
of auuikuid-
THB FAS All A CASAU
The President next takes up our foreign relations
ajad mentions the various aations of the earth with
which wears at peace. In regard to the Panama Ca
nal he says : The questions growing out of the pro
posed interoeeaaie waterway across the Isthmus of
Ptnama are of grave national importance. This gov
eroment has not been unmindful of the solemn obli
gations imposed upon it by its compact of 1S4C with
Colombia as the independent and sovereign mistress
of the territory crossed by she canal and has soagnt
to render them effective by fresh engagements with
the Colombian Republic looking to their practical
execution. The negotiations to this end, after they
had reached what appeared to be a mutually
ami if factory solution here, ware met in Colombia
br a disavowal of the powers which its envoy had
assumed and by a proposal for renewed negotia
tion on a mooiuea oasia. Aieanwtme this gov
ernment learned to at Colombia had proposed to
the European powers to join in a guarantee of the
neutrality of the proposed Panama Canal a sruaran-
tee which would be in direct contravention of our
obiigatteo as t be sole guarantor of the integrity of
Colombian territory and of the neutrality of the
canal Mself. My lamented predecessor lett it his
duty to place before the European powers the
reasons wbich make the prior guarantee of
the Lotted States indispensable and for which
the interjection of any foreign guarantee might
be regvued as a superfluous and unfriendly
act. Foreseeing the probable reliance of the Briimh
government on the provisions of the Clay too-bulwer
treaty oi isdw as anoraing room lor a snare in the
ruarantee wbich the United Slates covenanted with
Colombia four years before. I have not hesitated to
supplement the action of my predecessor by propos
ing to her Majesty's government the mudihcation of
that instrument and the abrogation of such clauses
thereof as do not comport witb the obligations of the
United (Mates towards Uolombiaor with the vital
aoeht of the two friendly parties to the compact.
A ftPSCXAI. EXTOT.
t'hts government sees with great concern the con
tinuance of the hostile relations between Chili. Bo
livia and Peru. An early peace between these Re
publics is much to be -desired, not only that they may
themselves be spared further misery and bloodshed,
but because their con tinned antagonism threatens con-
sequences which are in my judgment dangerous to
the interests of republican government on this conti
nent, and calculated to destroy the best elements
of our free and peaceful civilisation. As In
the present excited condition of popular feel
hag in these countries there has been se
rious misapprehension of the position of the
United Stales, and as separate diplomatic intercourse
wuh each through independent Ministers is some
times subject owing to want of prompt reciprocal
communication to temporary misunderstanding, I
have deemed it Judicious at the present time to send
a special envoy, accredited to all and each of them
and furnished witb general instructions, which will,
1 trust, enable him to bring these powers into friendly
relatione. The President, while still npon the sub
ject of foreign relations, regrets that the commercial
Interests between the United States and Brasil.
from which great advantages were hoped a year
ago, have suffered from the withdrawal of the
American steamers. Regarding China and Japan be
says: I renew the recommendation which haa been
heretofore urged by the Executive upon the atten
tion of Congress, that after the reduction of such
amount as may be found due to American citizens
the balance of the indemnity funds heretofore ob
tained from China and Japan, and which are now in
the hands of the Slate Department, be returned to
the governments of those countries. The President
recommends toe restoration of missions in Greece
and Ecuador, and Invites the attention of Congress
to the oew code of international rules for the preven
tion ot collisions on the high seas.
TBI rXSAXCXAI. anTTATIOg.
The President says that the report of the
Secretary of the Treasury represents in detail
highly satisfactory exhibit ot the atate of the
finances and the condition of the various branches
of the public service administered by that de
partment. The increase of the revenues for 1981
over those of the previous year was $9. 352.901 JO. It
Is estimated that the receipts during the present fis
cal year will reach 1 400.090.000 and the expenditures
fjJ70.0u0.USl. leaving a turpi us of Siju.uuu.ww applica
ble to the sinking fund and the redemption of the
public debt. I approve the recommendation of the
(Secretary of the Treasury, that provision be
made for the early retirement of silver cer
titicatrs and that the act requiring their is
tue be repealed. They were issued in pur
suance of the policy of tlte government to main
tain stiver at or near the gold standard, and were
accord in Ely made receivable for all customs, taxes
and public dues. About sixty-six millions are now
outstanding. They form an unnecessary addition to
the paper currency, a sufEcent amount of which
may be readily supplied by the national banks. Jn
accordance with the act of February 23, 174. the
Treasury Department has monthly caused at least
two millions In value of silver bullion to be coined
into standard silver dollars. One hundred and two mil
lions of these dollars have been already coined, while
only about thirty-tour millions are in circulation.
For the reasons which he specifies 1 concur in the
Secretary's recommendation that the provision for
coinage of a fixed amount each month be repealed,
and that hereafter only so much be coined as shall
be necessary to supply the demand. The Secretary
advises that the issue of gold certificates should not
for the present bo resumed and suggests that the
national banks may properly be forbidden by law to
retire their currency except upon reasonable notice
of their intention so to do. Such legislation would
seem to be justified by the recent action of certain
banks on the occasion referred to in the Secretary's
report. Of the fifteen millions of fractional currency
till outstanding only about eighty thousand have
been redeemed the past year. The suggestion that
this amount may properly be dropped from future
statements of the public debt seems worthy ot ap
proval. RCTTTjrrHXQ OPFUATIOVS.
The President next speaks of the refunding opera
tions and says the reduction of the annual interest on
the public debt through these transactions is as fol
lows : By reduction of interest to three and one-half
per cent, $10,473,952.25; by redemption of bonds,
$6,352,340; total, $lC,ft. 292.25. The three and one-half
per centum bonds being payable at the pleasure of
the government, are available for the investment of
surplus revenue without the payment of premiums.
Unless these bonds can bo funded at a mncb
lower rate of interest than the bear. 1,
Ifree with the Secretary of the Treasury that
V respecting inem la desirable. It
J. "aatlor for congratulation that the busineaf
eoantrr has been so prosperous during
PyeareB to yield by taxation a large surplus
of income to the government, If the revenue laws
remain unchanged this surplus must year by year in
erease on account of the reduction of the public debt
and ita burden of interest, and because of the rapid
increase ot our population. Ia IWJ0, just prior to the
losiauuon of eur internal revenue, our population
butaligfatly exeeeded 30.000.000; by the census of 1380
tte now found m exceed S0.000.0ua It w estimated
? ?Ten " lhe nul receipts and expenditures
snonid continue as at present the entire debt could be
paid in tea yeara. Ia Ww. however, of the heavy
oaa of taxation whteh our people have already borne,
we may well consider whether it is net the part of
W.?Tom lo rduae vue, ovea if wo delay a
utUe the payment of the debt.
uuap nou taxattok.
It seems to me that the time has arrived when the
people may justly demand some relief from their
present onerous burden and that by due economy in
lb. various branches .f vh (Hi olio service this may
readily be afforded. I therefore coo cor wit. the Sec
retary ia reeommendinc Ibe abolition of all internal
revenue taxes exeep, those o poo tobaceo ia ita viri
ons form, nd upoo dirtillel piriu d fe,meuted
liquor, and except, also, the special tax upoo the
manufacturers ol and dealers in such articles. The re
tention of the latter tax ia desirable as affording the
o moors of the government a proper supervision of
tuese articles for the prevention of fraud. I agree with
uie Secretary of the Treasury that the law iniposiuira
stamp lax upon matches, proprietary articles, playing
cards, cheeks and drafts may with propriety be
repealed, and Uio law also by which banks and
bankers are assessed upon their capital aud de
posits. There sems to be a general sentiment in
lavor or this oourse. In the present condition of our
revenues the tax upon deposits is especially unjust,
it was never imposed in this country until it was de
manded by the necessities of war. and was never ex
acted. I believe, 1. any other country, even in its
reales exiireacy. Banks an required to secure
their circulation by pledcm with the Treasurer of
the United States bonds of the General Government.
The interest upon these bonds, which at the time tiie
ta imposed was per cent., is now in most in
stances 3Vj per cent. Besides, the entire circulation
was originally limited by law and no increase was
allowable.
THX TAX OX CIKCCUriOS.
When the existing banks bad practically a mo
nopoly of the business there was force in the sucgee
uen that for the franchise to the favored grantees the
government might very properly exact a tax on cir
culation ; but for years the system bas been free and
Uie amount of circulation regulated by the public
demand. The retention of this tax has been sug
gested as s means of reimbursing the government
for the expense of printing and furnishing the circu
lating notes. If the tax should be repealed it would
certainly seem proper to require the national banks
to pay the amount of such expense to the Comp
troller of the Currency. It is, perhaps, doubtful
whether the immediate reduction of the rale of
taxation upon liquor and tobacco is advisable,
especially in view of the drain upon Ibe Treasury
which must attend the payment of arrears ot pen
sions. A comparison, however, of the amount of
taxes collected under the varying rates of taxation
which have at different limes prevailed suggests the
intimation that some reduction msy soon be made
without material diminution of the revenue. The
tariff laws also need revision, but that a due regard
may be paid to the conflicting interests of oureitisens
important changes should be made with caution. If
careful revision cannot be made at this session a
commission, such as was lately approved by tbe Sen
ale and is now recommended by the Secretary of the
Treasury, would doubtless lighten the labors of Con
gress whenever this subject shall be broug to its
consideration.
THg 1UT A9T STaVT.
Tbe President concurs in the recommendation of
the Secretary of War that the army be raised to
thirty thousand enlisted men. The report of the
Secretary of the Navy, he says, presents valuable
suggestions for us improvement. I call your especial
attention, also, to the appended report of the Ad
visory Board, which he convened to devise suitable
measures for increasing the efficiency of the navy,
and particularly to the report as to the character and
number of vessels necessary to place it upon a foot
ing commensurate with the necessities of tbe gov
ernment, i cannot too strongly urge upon you
my conviction that every consideration of na
tional safety, economy and honor imoerativelv de
mands a thorough rehabilitation of our navy. We
nave tor many years maintained with foreign gov
ernments tlte relations of honorable peace, aud
that such relstions msy be permanent is desired
by every patriotic citixen of the Republto; but il we
heed the teaching of history, we shall not forget
that in the lite of every nation emergencies msy
arise when a resort to arms can alone save it from
dishonor. No danger from abroad now threatens
this people, nor nave we any cause to distrust the
friendly professions of other governments. But for
avoiding as well as repelling dangers that may
threaten us in the future we must be prepared lo
eniorce any policy which we think wise lo adota.
We must be ready to defend our harbors sgiunsi
aggression ; to protect by the distribution of our
ships of war over tbe highways of commerce the
varied Interest, of our foreign trade and the per
sons and property of our ciuxens abroad; to main
tain everywhere the honor of our flag and the dis
tinguished position which we may rightfully claim
among tbe nations of tbe world.
TBS rOSTAI. AXD STAB KOCTS SXXVICE.
Tbe report of the Postmaster General is a gratify
ing exhibit of the postal service. Tbe receipts from
postage and other ordinary sources during tb. past
fiscal year were T6.fci9.816 .Vt; Uie receipts from the
money order business were $.1)5.581.39, making a total
of i36.78S.3V7.t7. The expenditure for the Steal year
was t39.251.746. Tbe deficit supplied out of the gen
eral Treasury was t2.tsl.129.Xi. or S-10 per cent, of
tbe amount expended. TbreceiptswereS3.4C9.91n63
in excess of those of the previous year, and H,-i75,-397.97
in excess of tbe estimate made two years ago.
before the present period of business prosperity had
fairly begun. During the past year 18 additional
money omces nave beenestabl'slied. making a total ol
5.499 in operation at tbe date of ibis report. Iunng the
year the domestic money orders segregated in value
fIU5.075.769.33. A modification of the system is sug
gested, reducing the fees for money orders not ex
ceeding $5 from ten cents to Cvecentssnd making the
maximum limit Slut) in place of ju. Legwlalion for
the disposition of unclHinied money orders in the
possession of the Post Uitice Dt-partment is recom
mended, in view of the fnct tlint their total value now
exceeds one million dollars. The attention ot Con
gress is again invited to the suhiect of establishing a
system ol savings depositaries in connection with the
Post Office Department. The so-called Star routes
lisve been decreased in length 3.949 mitesand in cost
SJ64.144. Most all the more expensive routes have
been superceded by railroad service. The cost of the
Siar service must therefore ranidiy decrease in the
Western States and Territories. The investigations
of the Department of Justice and the Post OQice De
partment have resulted in the presentation of indiot
menta against persons formerly connected with that
service, accusing them of offenses against the United
States, 1 have enjoined upon the officials who are
charged with the conduct ol the cases on the part ot tbe
government, and upon the eminent counsel who. be
fore my accession to the Presidency, were called Id1
their assistance, the duty of prosecuting with the ut
most rigor of tbe law all persons who may be found
chargeable with frauds upon the postal service,
COWBOYS A!ID ISDIAHa.
The President refers to tbe depredations of the
"cowboys " In Arixona, and says that ia the event of
a request from the Territorial government for protec
tion by tbe United State, against domestic violence
this government would be powerless to render assist
ance, Tbe act of 1795. chapter 36, passed at a time
when Territorial government, received little atten
tion from Congress, enforced this duty of the United
States only as to the State government.. But the act
of 1807. chapter 39. applied also to tbe Territo
ries. This law seems to have remained In force
until the revision of the statutes, when the pro
vision for the Territories was dropped. I am
not advised whether Ibis alteration was in
tentional or accidental, but as it seems to me tiu)
Territories should be offered tbe protection which
is accorded to the States by the Constitution, I sug
gest legislation lo that end. Tbe President cal la at
tention to the report of the Secretary of the Interior
and says: Prominent among the matters which chal
lenge the attention of Congress at its present session
is tbe management of our Indian affaire. The Presi
dent recommends that the Indian have the protec
tion ot Ibe Isw. Me should be allowed lo maintain
in court his rights of person and property. He also
recommends land in severally and . liberal appro
priation for Indian scboola, ,
THX MOR1fOrs,
Reuarding Mormonism, the President says that tbe
existing statute for tbe pnnishmen of polygamy, so
revolting to the moral and rejig ions sense of Christ
endom, bas been persistently and contemptuously
violated ever since its enactment. Your attention is
called loa recent opinion of the Supreme Court of
tbe United States explaining its judgment ot reversal
in the case of Miles, who bad bee. convicted of big- I
amy in Utah. Toe Court refer, to the tact that the I
ecracy attending the celebration of luarruurcs ia i
that Territory make the proof of polygamy very it
ncult, and the nvoorialy is suggested of modifying
be law of evidence, which now makes a wife in
competent lo testify against her husband. This sug
gestion i. approved. I reeommenl also the
fl"?-1 ' Providing that in the Territories of
the United States the tWct that . woman bas been
married to a person .barged with bigamy shall not
disqualify her as witness upon his trial lor that of-"""-
I further recommend legislation by which
any person solemnizing narriag in any of tb. Ter
ritories snail be required, under stringent penalties
for oeg teat or refusal, to die a eerti Hoate of such mar
riage in the Supreme Court of the Territory. Doubt
less Congress may devise other practicable measures
for ODvistiug the difficulties which have hitherto at
tended the efforts to suppress this iniquity. I assure
you of my determined purpose to co-ope rale with
you in any lawful and discreet measure which may
be proposed to that end.
civil, axavicg BxroBaT.
The President speak, of the anormous sums which
will be required for arrears in pensions, estimated at
S2SO.000.000 for Bret payment.. The great tern ptation
to tbe presentation of fictitious claims afforded by the
(set that tbe average Ma obtained upon each appli
aatioa is fl.tOu, weds him to suggest tb. propriety of
making some special appropriation for tb. preven
tion of fraod. He advises appropriations for such
internal improvements as tb. wisdom of Congress
may deem to be of public importance. After men
tioning the necessity for improving the Mississippi
river he takes up the subject of civil service reform
and says: In my letter accepting tbe nomination for
the Vice Presidency I stated that, in my judgment,
"no man should be the incumbent or an office the du
lses of which be is for any cause unfit lo perform, wbo
is lacking in the ability, fidelity or integrity which a
proper administration of such office demands." This
sentiment would doubtless meet with general acqui
escence, but opinion has been widely divided upon
the wisdom and practicability of the various reforma
tory schemes which bave been suggested and of cer
tain proposed regulations governing appointments
lo public office. Tbe efficiency of sucb regulations bas
been distrusted mainly because they bave seemed lo
exall mere educational and abstract tests above gen
eral busiuess capacity and even special fitness lor the
particular work in hand. It seems to me Uiat the
rules which should be applied lo the management
of the public service may properly conform in Ibe
main losuch as regulate the conduct of successful
private business. Original appointments should be
baaed upon ascertained nines. The tenure of office
should nestable. Positions ol responsibility should,
so far as possible, be filled by the promotion of worthy
and efficient officers. Tbe investigation of all com
plaints and the punishment of ail official misconduct
should be prompt and thorough.
tbb r resident's promise!
Tbe view, expressed in the foregoing letter are
those which will govern my administration of the
Executive office. Tbey are doubtless shared by all
intelligent and patriotic citizens, however divergent
in their opinions as to tbe best methods of pulling
them into practical operation. For example, tbe as
sertion that original appointments should be bssed
upon ascertained fitness" is not open to dispute. But
the question how in practice sucb Illness can be most
effectually ascertained is one wbich has for years ex
cited interest and discussion. The measure which.
with slight variations in its details, has lately been
urged upon the attention of Congress and the Execu
tive, has as its principal feature the scheme of com
petitive examination. Save for certain exceptions,
which need not her. be specified, this plan would
give admission lo tbe service ooiy in its lowest
grade, and would accordingly demand that all va
cancies in higher positions should be tilled by promo
tion alone. In these particulars it is in eonlormiiy
with the existing civil service system of Great Brit
ain. And. indeed, the success which bas attended
tlist system in tbe country of us birth is the strongest
srgument which bas been urged for its adoption h re.
Tbe tact should not. however, be overlooked thai
there are certain fcaturea of tbe Knghsh system
which have not generally been received with favor
ia this country, even among the foremort advocates
of civil service reform. Among them are; First, a
tenure of office which is substantially a life tenure ;
second, . limitation of th'e maximum age at which
an applicant can enter the service, whereby
all men in middle life or older are. with some
exceptions, rigidly excluded; third, a retiring allow
ance upoo going out of office. Thee threeeieinenls
are as important factors oi the problem as any of the
others. To eliminate them from the Kngltsh system
would effect a most radical change in il. theory and
practice. The avowed purpose ol that system is to
induce Uie educated young men of the country to de
vote their lives to public employment by an assur
ance that having once entered upoo they need never
leav. It, and that upon voluntary retirement
they shall be the recipients of an annual pen
sion. That this system as an entirety has proved
very successful in Great Britain aeems to be generally
conceded, even by tbose who once opposed its adop
tion. To a statute winch should incorporate all its
esecntial features I should feel bound lo give my ap
proval, but whether it would be for the best tuterest
of Uie public to fix upon an expedient for immediate
extensive application.wbich eui braces certain features
of the Kngltsh system, but excludes or ignoresothers
of equal importance, msy be seriousiy doubted even
by those who are impressed, a. 1 am my -elf. with the
grave importance ol correcting the evils which inhere
in the present methods of appointment. If. for ex
ample, tbe English rule, which shuts out all per
sons above tbe age of twenty-five years from a large
number-of public employments, is not to be msde an
essential part of our system, it is quettoneble
whether tbe attainment of the higher number of
marks at a competitive examination should be the
criterion by which all applications for appoinlmeut
should be put to lest. And under similar conditions
it msy also be questioned whether admission to Ibe
serrlos should be strictly limited to its lowest ranka.
THE KSGI.tHH BYMTK.
The present English By stem is a growth of years,
and was not created by . single stroke of executive
or legislative action. Its beginnings are found in an
order in council promulgated in 1S5S, and it was after
patient and cautious scrutiny of its workings that fif
teen years later it took its present shape. Five years
after the issuance of the order in council, and at a
time when resort had been bad to com peti live exam i
n at ions as an experiment much more extensively
than bas yet been tbe ease in this country, . select
committee ot tbe House of Commons made a report to
that House, which, declaring its approval of the
competitive plan, deprecated, nevertheless, any pre
cipitancy in its general adoption, as likely to endan
ger its ultimate success. During this tentative period
tbe results of the two methods of pass examination
and competitive examination were closely watched
and compared. It may be that before .we con tin e
ourselves upon this important question within tbe
stringent bounds of statutory enactment we may pro
fitably await the result of further inouiry and experi
ment, Tb. submission of a portion of the nomina
tions to a central board of examiners selected solely
for testing the qualifications of applicants may, per
haps, without resort to the competitive lest, put an end
to the mischiefs which attend the present system of
appointment, and it may be feasible to vost in such a
board a wide discretion lo ascertain tbe charucter
istica and attainments of candidates in those particu
lars wbich I bav. already referred to as beiug no
less important than mere intellectual attainments.
If Congress should deem it advisable at the present
session to establish competitive tests for admission
to the service no doubts such as bave been suggested
shall deter me from giving tlic measure my earn
est support, and I urgently recommend, should there
be a failure to mu but other act upon this sub
ject, that Mi appropriation ol f23,OUO per year
may DC maae lor tun eniorcement oi section . i jo oi
the revised statutes. With the aid thus afforded me
Ishallstriveto execute the provisions of that law ac
cording to ita letter and spirit. I am unwilling, in
justice to the present civil servants of the government.
lo dismiss inis snpject wnnout oeeianng my masem
from tbe severe and almost indiscriminste censure
with which they have been recently assailed. That
they are as a clasa indolent, inefficient and corrupt is
a atatement which bas been often made and widely
credited; but when the extent, variety, delicacy and
importance of their duties are considered, tbe great
majority of the employes of the government are, in
my judgment, deserving of high commendation.
The President recommends to Congress tbe subject
of the decline of the merchant marine. He does not
pretend to indicate the remedy for it, but regards
immediate attention a. important. He thinks that
there would have been no decline If we bad given to
our navigation interests a portion of tbe aid and pro
tection which bav. been so wisely bestowed upon
our manufacturers.
The messag. concludes with . reference to the
Presidential inability, as suggested by tbe situation
which existed during most of the past summer, but
he does not indicate what he thinks should be done.
Why Be Killed His Friend
1Yhat They Learned in America.
From the China 3f aiL
Two Chinese students, rettiruing from Amer
ica, have been charged at tbe Pohce Court with
stealing . traveling box, containing over SJ.000 worth
of bank drafts, Chinese documents, a box of blsn
kets and a watch and clock, tbe property of a kins
man of one of them, residing at Yokohama. Tbey
were apprehended on the receipt of a telegram from
the British Consul at Nagasaki. Tb. Magistrate
had to it's' them for want of jurisdiction.
"Tea, I have killed my man,n remarked
old John Bigelow when the conversation
touched upon the shedding of human
brood. "I killed one of my best friends,"
he continued, lighting his pipe and throw
ing the largest pair of feet ia tbe company
on to a chair, with an effort and subse
quently twitching about the face, which
tfy plainly told that the old man was
S'lfferinc; with rheumatism.
"What 1 killed your friend t" exclaimed
one of tbe company.
"Yes, as warm a fnend as I had on
earth.
"Accidentally, wasn't it I"
"Jiu, sir, purposely. If you men ain't
in a hurry I'll tell you the circumstance."
Every one expressed a desire to hear
the story, and the old man, after a mo
ment's reflection, began :
"I was a yout g feller, and had just
come to Little Kock, when, one night
while passing a saloon on the Jevee, I was
attacked by several ruffians. I fought
desperately, knocking one of them down
and I ttll you I was a slick buck in those
days I was advancing on another when
he drew a horse putol and leveled it at
me. The moon was shining and I could see
a fiendish expression of delight on the face
of the ruffian Just at that momeU the
pistol was knocked high in the air. Tbe
ruffians tied aud I saw before me a tall
young man. lie asked me if 1 was hurt,
and advancing, took me by the arm. . Well
we became fncnJa. His name was George
Weuiick. Plenty of old people in this
town remember hira. God knows how
well 1 do. ioa people seem to be grow
ing restless. I'll cut the story short.
George and 1 became roc in mates. An
attachment one of the-e here old time
friendships sprang up between us Poor
fellow, he had one fan.: whisky. When
drunk he was the moat Uangerous man I
eversaw. ilany a time have 1 seen him
walk into a crowd, slup someone s lace,
and then Knock him down for resenting
the insult, lie used to say, 'John I am
bilious, and you know that fiiihling is my
only medicine. 1 must bare medicine.
One night he came into tbe room after
an abseace of several days. I saw that he
was full and I tried to engage bis attention
ou a serious subject, but failed. Finally
he remarked that he was billions and had
to have medicine. Ue went down, and
several hours afterward returned with the
end of a man's nose sticking on a knife
bUde."
'I got my medicine, he said, "it is
not very polite to haitd you a piece of
meat without a fork, but on tins occasion
of emergency I'll hive to iusc a knile. It
was rather a hard matter to eet the medi
cine. I had to look all arouud Finally a
man came dovra the street, I told him
that I was billious and had to have some
medicine, but mistaking my meaning, he
told me to go to a drug store. ' Tnis was
an insult, and in my great need of medi
cine I knocked him down and cut off the
end of his nose. The people of this town
ouhl to uu det stand that when I get bili
ous I waul the medicine cf human flesh
and blood, anyway f Itcatlnot euter tke
Kingdom of Heaven. John, if I hadn't
found this lellow, I should have killed
you. Ilang it, you ought to know that I
must bave medicine!"
"He threw the piece of human flesh on
tbe table and told me to look at it. 1
tu.ncd away ia disgust and drawing a
pistol, be, my best friend, told me to put
it in my mouth. 1 argued with mm, but
with a wild howl he told me that he need
ed more medicine, and that if I didn't put
the piece of nose in my mouth he would
kill me. He cocked the pistol and 1 - took
up the piece of flesh, an I, pretending to
put it in my mouth, dropped it down my
sleeve. This satisSed him and he went to
bed. I went to the window and threw
away the end of the unfortunate nose and
crept down stairs. Xext morning George
got down o-j his knee, anl with tears in
his eyes implored my forgiveness. He
found tbe man who had suffered the loss
of a part ot his nose and gave him f 4 X),
every cent of money he had. For a long
lime he remained sober and tbe circum
stances of Iris last case ot billious were al
most forgotten. 1 had become more and
more attached to him, for every day I was
impressed wuh the nobility of iiis charac
ter. One night, at the appointed hour, he
failed to come home. AntAUer blend ol
mine had came up to pass the evening
with uk We were reading "Conperfield,'
and George, who cu a splendidelocution-
ist, was going to read to us. We waited
and waited. Determining that George
would not come in unld very late, I took
up the book and began reading. Just as I
got to where Mr. Omar, tbe undertaker.
was dnvi-ig nails into comas witn a rat,
tat, tat, George walked in.
"1 am bilious I ne exclaimed, and then
I saw he was drunk.
"George, I asked, "are you not going
to read Copperfield for us i"
"No,", he j exclaimed, "I have been
reading a medical work, and I find 'that 1
am bilious. John, I am going out lo hunt
for some human medicine, and if I don t
find any I'll have to use you." -
"He went out and 1 explained to my
friend that if he did not find some one to
fiirht he would come back and attack me.
I sat for a long and studied. My fnend
was silent. At length I beard footsteps
on the stairs and instinctively I ran to my
trunk and took out a pistol. 1 had just
time to azain reach the table when George
entered with two enormous horse pistols,
one in each hand."
'Bilious," he exclaimed, and leveled
one of the pistols. I dodged behind the
table just as he fired. I had my pistol in
my hand.
"I am bilious, I tell you," and he level
ed tbe other pistol.
Quick as a flash I fired. George fell
I ran to him, and with the assistance cf my
other friend, put him to bed. In a few
moments the room was crowded with peo-
nle. I was not arrested for 1 cad acted in
self-defense, ftext day I stood by George's
bedside, lie was sober and suffered great
pain. My ball had passed through his
body.
"John," said he, "give me your hand.
I grasped his band and stood gaziog into
his eyes. His face was changed.
"John, 1 will never ba bilious again,
and with one great gasp he died.
'Geuli'emen, this is why peoploasay that
I have killed my man," and the old maa
wiped tears from his eyes and knocked
the ashes from his pipe,
I . s .
A Fnsky Goat.
A tall, thin man, with a red nose, gray
side whUkera, and a melancholy expression
drifted into the office of the I'oet, 8aa
Francisco, and asked, in a subdued voice,
if there was an unemployed reporter oa Us
staff just then.
"Because," said the stranger, "a very
peculiar thing happened up our way I
live at Hayes Valley this niornfag, and
wbich perhaps jou might work a? into a
sort of item, somehow."
What sort of a thing J" said the manag
ing editor winking to the fighting editor to
get his club ready in case the sad maa
palled out poem or any other dangerooa
contrivance.
"WelL in the first rriace." sid tha
strainer, abstractedly, do yon happen
to Know the effect of beer on animait.
Vant say 1 do."
fit's exactly the reverse of what's is oa
me. Instead of soothing 'em it excites their
nervous organization to the highest pitch.
Actually makes 'em insane."
'Does, ehP
"Yes, sir; and this morning, as it was
ra'Jier sultry, I sent my youngest boy for a
gallon ot beer. He stopped on the way and
put the can down to play marbles. McGin
ty's old black billy-goat came alonr; and
drank up the beer every drop of it."
"Great Latsar I said the court reporter.
smacking his hps, regretfully.
"He drank every drop of it, and nearly
choked to death on the can. He stood
blinking around a little for awhile ; then
he started for a street-car, with ail coiora
set He hit the horse square amid-sbipa.
and it foundered at once."
"Wrecked, I suppose ?" said tbe editor.
"Precisely. The goat then c lanced off-
killed the driver and telescoped the car, I
was sitting at the window all this time.
and my attention was attracted by Go
vernor Perkins going djwn the street hell
bent on the election."
"Governor Perkins ?"
That's the goat's name you see. McGin-
ty is a strong Republican. There were
four men getting a piano out of a wagoa
across the street when the Governor went
through 'em like a pile-dairer behind
time. The Bteinway was sent to tha
manufactory and the men went to the hos
pital. Terrible, wasn't it 1"
"Is this ghost story in one act 7 ' asked
the militia special, getting out his Spiiag-fieldl"
"In one scene and nine tableaux," said
the stranger solemnly. "On the next
block the Governor came across a Dutch
picnic, headed by a brass band. TueTaOr
tons were tooting 'Listen to the Mocking
Bird,' and the way that goat stood on hia
hind legs and waltzed around tbe pavement
to the music was just too funny for any
thing. I may say that it was actually
amusing. It slipped upon a banana peel
once, and fell against a cigar sign."
".Never mind the scenery, said the edi
tor, motioning the devil to call in six ot
the healthiest compositors.
"Well pretty soon the band changed off
into 'Come Where My Love Lies Dream
ing. ' "
"Did the goat comet"
"You just bet he did, ne didn't fancy
the new tune somehow, and tbe Urst thins:
the drum major knew Perky we call tha
goat Perky for short Perky took him ia
tbe stomach, broke him clean la two, went
through the rest of the band, including tha
big drum, aud so on dear down to the end
of the picnic, which was four squares long.
I think there were ninety-two kilted and
eight hundred and six wounded. Pretty
good, when you consider tha entire driv
inz power was only one gallou of cheap
beer; now, wasn't it iow, it occured
to "
'Just one minute," laid the editor, sig
naling the staff to spit on their hands and
limber op for action. "Allow me to ex
plain what occured to you. Tou concluded
to catch the goat when Le got sober and
bring him down here for our bcneSt. You
have him now tied to a ire-plug around
the corner, and if we will caty chip ia
about four bits for beer, you will get tM
auiinal started and we can watch the fun."
"Exactly." said the stranger, warmly :
"that is precisely my idea. I will now
take np a col "
That afternoon such ot tlte customers of
the Putt as toiled np into the editorial
rooms wondered at the number of fresh
blood stains on the stairs.
The Code.
An old tradesman in a Frecch country
town sent his nephew Alfred to study hrw
at Paris. He gave him an old eode anno
tated by a leading member of the country
bar, and said :
"I will pay you a visit in siarcn, and.
if am pleased with your progress, I will
give you such a Up as will make glad your
heart and cause your face to shine."
In March the old gentleman called on
his nephew.
Well, Alfred, hard at work, l see I
Made good progress with your code I
Pretty well through it by this time, I ex
pect I"
"Yes. respected sir, my Hfe has been
one continual grind. Your venerable friend
marginal notes I found of great service
while laboring at the code."
"Good boy excellent young man ! Yoa
got my draft, of course? It is pleasure to me
to reflect that my bounty was cot LU-be-stowed."
"Your draft, uncle f Ho, I never receiv
ed, it,"
"Show me that coot
The old man opened the book and show
ed his stupefied nephew a draft for two
thousand francs, dated five months belore,
which had ail the time been reposing be
tween the first two leaves of the code.
If a man really wants to know of how
little importance he is, let him go with his
wife to the dress-maker's