' '.I I I MI.in IMI V 111 III 111 X 1 1 I 1 mmu F. sCHWEIER. tee coHSTrnmoi-THE mnov-AXS tee nrroBoiMnrr or tee laws. Editor and Proprietor. VOL. MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY, PENNA.. "WEDNESDAY, MARCH Jfj, 18S1. NO. 11. TBEfOBliASlF"D IT. tv are ITwref" ,u. r .Trtrtb' Icre-acmel Jt ; ii Mt talk tn.ir fill; .d mem to J tUL ThatTolff- AdTb June. 18C. and one of the Nearly funuM ,he world eTer ;2Tck sky.golden bright sun T Z soft fragrant air. joyously sweet , V.. f..nt muMC&i murmurs of "? 01 . . , f f....r,i;nB Hlirt- '-n.-kct-lu Piasum: vl :y pt griUlinstring violets and budding .. - w in front of the elegant man- ;,,,,! Leon Fu-hback, Esq.. a party of W.FlePI', "'ollow H1? f,,l:ti me (i Ui 11111 c oui. - ihfirnw'.bers and grandmothers tell . rame called "Puss in the corn- so mt) an 6iA canie" tax cr p sudtucarterof acei tiWyin '-Follow, folios century or more low" tte players, to i siwp rf n1"1'0 aroun1 wblch staid is wcie, and he or she who prove ttjUJeILf-. msi-Tietic foicelh balls fol ;,,wi ha nth, while the remainder of !kr!Hisntoh as wildly in their efforts lojtil-eplace11101111 by the fly 12:1 one. , ., ,,. ., A: tiis moment the balia are rolling peu niiil, htiu-r skelter, knocking against each oiurr r.n pleasant ringing sound, after i wdty, fxii-hesded maiden, whose little ItH, cufl in sun all gleaming ariih sU vtr aria t'-'id, fili in the sunsluue beneath la b.ut totin TurkiA tiouterleU as she f,nci;s ln:nt:y over the greensward amid Ike tjii-iiU-iy modulated laughter no 01 tlwu-s loudly in this refined twentieth ctLlur; of ber merry companions. 1b tie lack garden, on a green clover snett rss- lt, slinds a broad, deep bas La ol nciy nashed, nowy white linen, tsd itDjimr-out machine, planted nrmlr m iU tuOult ol the piat, is inuustriously nufiCi u.d lowthci its wooden anus, Fa-ping tbe various pieces in its wonde' luiiv c'm.cied hmrts, and hangine them upi'o tbt Clout no clotbes-pina Use, w hich ii sl-iwLe revolving around it, and to which Uiey tuitre without fuither trouble. Iij tbe dairy thetosy-cheeked dairy-maid if rua.Dg love poem, while the auto (Muf s maku um Uauulttt wiute co tLat funds just outside the dooi; in Uie L.tcben the txk is indolently rocking to aid tro in a iow rocking-chair, walch iig u 'luagic-rolling pm" roll oat the pas e kf La I'its, ready to stop its pendu-ituu-kie uiovement the moment the crust is suuxb and thm enough; and a small krvacl boy. iih his hands in his pockets, kLa tsA-aA the wall in one corner near a an stum, frtiisilmg sollly t himself as be aaitt uctii the air of thot s the electric b.itk L.'-lirasb i polishing (hereon attain tbe pruper Ctree of brilliancy and mirror likeixss. 'Ibis is a prrperou place, this domsin ofUoni'isLtjiict, Esq., and Leon Fish U.ck Lin.H-U" is a tall, hai:dsome,energctic, P'enivt unn of one tnd-thirty a bache lor, awgivcs a hoie to bis widowed staler ai.il ber luur Laif -orphaned children, and in rtiurn is tatm care of y her, with the assisiaoct ut u.e Oid bouse-keer to tell tbe truui, ih a Ereat deal of assistance IruUi tiit olu bcuse keeper as wed as any iffuilnr as taken care of Ly any sister. bti.l leop.e, as people will especially ptile null gromn-up ainpie daughtarB inuereaiLai he bail never married. It a nut i. r watt ef opportunity he had (luce to-on, no indeed: for a dozen iuvdy giria, nai a doren more or less cbaruiUij; iaos, and several ladies of iiei;h..-r Cass, had, since his coming into tbe pr.jj my of bis uncle and god tatter, Leon Fliimck, Sea., (who ashes in tobil guid cajkrt siood in a sort of shrine, Uia of t hundred rare woods, in the Mi:ii draaiDg-ioom), intimated to him, neviry aj ujathe shrinking sensilive ess ol w jiuiuViod would allow, their per leel ailiiLittss t.y, anxiety to assume U ro oi luisutus ol the Fish back man sion. liutLecn Lad walked calmly among ibem, oi..inii,(t hosi itality, kind words M1 tracious siuitg Wiiu llie girietegt im. paitAiiiy, distinguishing none by the iifchtett prelcrenee, untd a few weeks be lere u Uautif ul J ujie day when his young eL- umi -Foliow-f ullow-f ollow r1 .,0 " l"gbly polished admirers on " Closely Bbavtnla a. TJtauieto visit nis sister an old Mm taad, Uura Benrdsley by name. s,l , Utn in a far distant butaithmhoui the sister had kept i. - "ul10jrr,",?un,JtnceeTer since thev Wrtrt at thee. Uegedoortbe day on which "as-Jlistiessof Arts." Jl-ssilewd.l.yu , i0TeIj woman of W"lWt,l!y 6uujmtn. looking at tve summers less, with an txception- l"bt"nl Vn1'6" ,L exceptionally iLr.er a a excepnonally graceful tKmiV woman has Leon tnJ!i . L,Ineno apparently unun Z Z Wor' nce Jete; welcomes his home. And i "Jeteloitera, unteuipled by iTra :th."thede?ePplea Tb breathed bav w.ndow of il Krl? 'f-fcairea'prl comes flying s!f1!8Urts.froin seat with a blush. ."'8 "" the window ntrPiu nr-ZV3' iney are l TZ" y urup SDU fPds in the PreuvlatCll,,n' Ira.s back her n,;.C -.. U-luoklLeal Ler compan sisieri . mucn '1 i hke her lady. ' Jont JO" remember?" says the ie;a.IKV' replies 5Ir- Fishback, with 'BUof'LTl,,?11" l fat)gation led u, Tt kls,U"Dk tier of it, closes Vain M l11,u- y,and turns to the window "P olavt ""-"ow-foUownKM; l Dsand 6liw in group, with their eye fixed nnon a small aenal car gayiy aecoraiea witn nags, which is gently awaking ueiween neaven na eartb. as it alowly descends toward the lawn. In few moments it touches the ground, and a haadsome young fellow leaps out, and is greeted with many exclamations of pleasure and surprise. lour brother Reginald," savs Misa Beardsley. "So two returned from Lon don t Why, he only started a few days ago." "Yes; flying ship American Eagle iasiesi ot me Air Lane. I beard of her ar- nvai iuh aiier Dreaklast this mornine. when it was shouted by the telephone at me station Deiow." "Thirty miles awayl". "Oh I that's nhing. We expect to be able to bear news from a hundred miles away before many years are past." "May I not be sn the immediate u:im ty when that news is shouted !" says the lady, with ar involuntary movement of tier pre'.tr white hands towards her pretty rose-tipped ears, for 1 should expect to be aeat ior evermore. VNever fear, my dear I mean Miss Beards.ey. Such a muifortune as that shall never occar, though you should chance to be at tbe very side of the shouter. Edison is at this moment perfecting an in strument that begins to deliver its mes sages in a moderately loud voice, which increases in volume as it is earned forward, uuui n-acnes ine most distant point it is intended to reach, thus maintaining an eveu tone all along the route, flow glorious all these Edisanian inventions are!" he con tinued, with a glow of euthusiasm,' an I what humdrum times our ancestors must have had without them t Why, they are the very life of the age. There's the phono graph, for instance but 1 beg pardon; you are looking bored. I cannot expect you to take as much interest in these scientific subjects as L Is not iieginald coming this way?" "lie is not, "answers Miss Laura, demure ly "he U still holding Bel a's hand, and totally ignoring all other welcoming bands txandeu to him." "Ah! the old, old story that is ever new 1" quotes Mr. Fishback, as he peeps over the shoulders of his fair guest at the new arrival, and then, suddenly rising and confronting her, be exclaims, "You must have heard that story very, very often, Laura forgive my calling you so, but you used to permit it in the days we went black berrying together some ten years ago; and f. rgive me again, but, upon my word, 1 cannot help asking you, im pelled as 1 am by some mysterious power. W hy have you never married I " A blush rises to her cheek, but she looks up in bis calmly, and replies: "I don't re member the blackberry episodes, and 1 have remained unmarried because 1 vowed when a young lady never to marry unless convinced that 1 was the first and only love of the man whose wile I became." "Laura, I have never loved another." "Mr. i'ishbac4,you forget my old friend Teresa, the sister of the girl to whom your brother Reginald is now making love on the lawn." liood heavens ! Laura, how mistaken you are I" " 1 was with ber you looked for blackber ries. 1 never knew you to find any not witB me, Sir." "Laura, how blind you were! I sought bar society only to be near you. I declare. upon my word and honor, 1 lingered by her aide for hours in the hope that you would join as for a moment or two during the lime, and when vou did, in that mo ment or two was concentrated the joy of tbe w hole day. You were so proud, so cold, so reserved, 1 did not dare to ap proach vou save through your fnend; and" And you did not bury yourself in se clusion for two years after she jilted you and married Frank Huntington f'she asks, as be pauses. Ureal heavens! how preposterous: Laura, 1 tvear " But, as he is about to swear, enter a pro cession of small nephews and nieces and attendant Inends, tbe leader of which car ries and odd-looking box. See, uncle ! the bnghl-eyed little fel low calls out as he approaches. "I found this old phonograph on tbe top shelf of your closet, where I was looking for your hsh line to play horse with, and it talks hke everything." W ith this he begins to turn the met all crank, and a voice a somewhat shrill young voice, the voice of Teresa, sister of Bella whilom fnend of Laura lieardslcy begins to speak : Yes, Leon, my own, I will grant your impassioned prayer, and breathe tbe words you long to bear into this magi cal casket, and then, when you ate lonely or inclined to doubt me, jealous one, you can call them forth to bring back the smiles to your dear face, and and joy to your dear heart. I do return tbe love J ou so ardently avow, and I will marry you when mamma gives ner consent, wniu then no lips shall touch the lips made sacret by your iubs, no hand shall clasp the hand that wears your lovely diamond nng. But, oh, Leon dear, try to like Laura a Utile for my sake. I know she is all that you say she is anecten, coiu-neariru, haughty, and disagreeable (l am just naugn. ty cnougii to be pleased when you tell mc her beauty, so much admired Dy outers, particularly Frank Huntington, fades into utter insignificance beside that of your own little Teresa) but, my Leon, try, oh! try, to tolerate her, for, strange as it may ap pear to you, disliking her as you do, am quite fond of her. Oood-nujht, beloved. Dream ot your Tessa." That" something or other "phono. graph!" said Mr. Fishback, "I thought 1 destroyed it long ago," as he angrily snatched it from the hand of the small dhcoverer. "What did cur humdrum ancestors do without these glorious inventions!" mur murmed Miss Laura, as she quietly fainted away for the first time in ber life "If ever you go prowling round my room again." continued Mr. Fishback ad dressing his unfortunate nephew, and sup porting Miss Beardsley with one hand, while he flung the tell-tale out of the win dow, where it broke into a dozen pieces as it touch td the graund with a shrill ear splitting shnek "I'll apply the double back-action self acting spanking machine untU you roar for mercy." The nrrrasfion. considerably demoral ized, started on the double quick' for the door, and Mr. Fishback. looking upon the inanimate form he held in bis arms, cried out, as he struck his forehead with his clinch ed hand, "She will never.newr lo k at me again!" Hni ah iliil and. what's more she mar- riwi him a month alter, ahu oh, the marvelous progress toward per f wnmanhnnd in this wonderful twen tieth century I although they have been man and wife for some twenty years, she has neve once said to him, i hat voice i Three gin. to one tKy are born In TLere are 3,000 miles of canals in France. A high red cypress tree gave its name to tiaton itouge, ia. Tight a -Mdl Moold. I s'po?e you have heard of Doctor Ames- bury, nam t you ! "1 never have. "J .... T v eii men 1'u tell you. One day I met the doctor over to Simpkin's shop buying groceries. It was awfully cold. I felt a little hoarse, and my tongue was rather furry, so says L, " My head feels a Utile acheish like; what do you think I'd better dot Says he, "Friend S., the best thing you can do is to go straight home, and soak yuur ieei ana iaae a sweat, rcauae u you uuu i jrou ungm nave a lever, t-ays 1, "Doctor, I was just thinking sweat would do me good, and now I guess 111 da it." So I went home and drank a cup of tansy tea, and if I didn't sweat like a beaver it's no matter. Tbe next morning my head was as clear as a bell, and 1 was wen again. Well, a day or two afterwards I met the doctor, ana saye he ".Neighbor S., 1 have a small bill against you.- -1 looked at him, and says I ; AbiUf "and says he: Yes, a bill tor advice, you know, at oimplun s shop, the other day." What do jou think he charged? why. one dollar for telling m to go home and laKe a sweat. Well, doctor," says I (because I would not appeitr small, you know) '-it'sallrignt, and I'll bear it In mind." Well, a few days alter, the doctor was Passing by my door in his chaise, and some how or other one of the wheels got a Utile loose ; so says I : "Doctor, if you don't drive that lynch- pin in an inch the wheel might come oil." Says he : "Thank you," and he drove in the pin. When I met him again 1 presented him the bill. " liado I what on earth is this I ' "Why, that's for advice." "Advice ! for what 7" says he. "Why, for driving in your wheel pin. and I have just charged you a dollar and a quarter." " W ell, " says he, "the difference between your bill and mine is just twenty-five Cents." That's all you owe me," says L "Well, I'll bear it in mind," says he. But the doctor is as tight as a candle mold, and 1 guess he is liable to bear it in mind. Hauuua Tnw la Inula. The scientific manner in which the na tive robbers in India prepare for their raids shows a thorough knowledge of the dan gers of their caning, and ihe best guards against them. When their dusky bodie are least observable, they remove tneir clothes, anoint themselves with oil, and with a single weapon, a keen edged knife suspenued from their neck, creep and steal like shadows noiselessly through the dark ness. If detected, their greasy and slip pery bodies assist them in eluding capture. while their rtzor bladed knife dexterously severs the wrist of any detaining hand. But the most ingenious device to escape capture is that shown by ihe Bael rob bers. It often happens that a band of these robbers are pursued by mounted Englishmen, and. unable to reach the jungle, lied themselves about to be over jux upon one ot those open plains which have lieen cleared by file, the only shelter in sight being the black ened trunks or leafless branches of small trees that have perished in the flames. For men so skilled in posturing this is shelter enough. Q-iickly divesting them selves of their scanty clothing, they scatter them, with their plunder, in small pi:es over the plain, covering them with their round shields, so that they have the appearai.ee of lumps of earth, add attract no attention. ling accomplished, they snatch up a few sticks, throw their body into a contorted position, and stand or crouch immovable until their unsuspicious enemies have galloped by. When all is safe, they quickly pick up their spoil and proceed upon their way. The Kev. Dr. J. D. tt oods gives an in teresting account of these marvelous mim ics : "Before the English had become used to those manoeuvres a very ludicrous inci dent occurred. An officer, with a party of horse, was chasing a small body ot Bueel robbers, and was fast overtaxing them. Suddenly tbe robbers ran behind a rock or some such obstacle, which bid them for a moment, and when the soldiers came up the men had mystenously disappeared. After an unavailing search, the officer or dered his men to dismount beside a clump of scorched and withered trees, and the day being very hot, he took off his helmet and hung it on a branch by which he was stand ing. The branch turned out to be the leg of a Boeel, who burst into a scream of laughter, and flung the astonished ottlcer to the ground. Tue clump of scorched trees suddenly became metamorphosed into men, and the whole party du-persed in d.fferent directions before the Englishmen could re cover lrom their surprise, carrying with them the officer's helmet by way of trophy." Apropoe ln Occasion. In th heavy sijura coach, as we roll Out of Leadville, are seven men. One is an army officer who has ball a dozen scars to prove his bravery. Cut off from his com mand, on the plains last summer, by a score of Indians, he intrenched himself and fought the band on until help amveo. Two of the others are desperadoes, who have killed their men. Three of the others ai.lwart niinpra. each armed with two revolvers, and they look as if they would prove ugly customers in a row. I'hff apventh man might do some shoot ing on a piach. but be hopes there will be no pinch. In the crowd are ten revolvers, two derringers, three repeating rifles and four or five bowie knives, and there is per fect good letting as me siage runs auong. it ia tuoiilv understood that the army cap tain is to assume command in case tbe coach is attacked, and that all are to Keep cool and fire to kilL It is 10 o'clock in the morning. The windows are down and tbe passengers are smoking and talking, anu Beeainx, i Wm crti.ia nnaitinna. Ihe coach has lust tvi tea uiv twvi" reached the top of a hO, when every horse is suddenly pulled up. t.irit'. . h'r wf'll have some fun. growled one of the miners, as he put his' head out ot tne winaow. "li it's a robber gin me the fust pop at him !" whispered one ot the desperadoes. No one could say wuat tne irouuie was when a wiry little chap about five feet six inches talL witn black eyes and hair, clean face and thin lips, appeared at tne leii-uanu door wuh a cocked revolver in either hd, and said: . . Gents, I'm sorry to disturb you, mil I've got to make a raise this morning. Pise leave vour shooters and climb down here, one at a time I " It was sudden. It was so suuuea k s.nAm tn nnrU r-tund the drift Of bis remarks. Then every eye turned to UB A ICU WT-J' ' - tbe right-hand door, and tne two revoive held y a second robber were seen at the . v,nHna it was a tran. 1 he rats "i" V , J .1. !.. were isukuw u . v .. . iu? I'm ornalinvattttleimDaUenl. - ucuw a fc" " d - continued the first robber, "and I want to see the procession begin to move i Let's see? The captain was to lead us, and we were to be cool and fire to kill. But the captain was growing white around the mouth, and nobody had a weapon in hand. Tbe rats were not going to light. One of the miners opened the door and de scended, and the other six humbly followed. Tbe seven were drawn up in line across the road, and while the robber held bis shooter on the line, he coolly observed to his partner: "Sow, William, you remove the weap ons from the coach and then search these gentlemen.'.' As William obeyed every victim was or dered to hold his Lands abovs his head, and whatevaer plunder was taken from his pockets was dropped into William's hat. Four gold watches, two diamond pins, a telescope, a diamond ring, a gold badge and $1,ZUU in ch changed hands in ten minutes. Not a man had a word to say. The driver of the coav;h did not leave his seat and was not interfered With. When the last man bad been plundered the gen teel Dick Turpin kindly observed : "You are the most decent lot of men I ever robbed, and if times weren't soblas ed hard, I would make each of you a present of 1 10. Kow, then, climb back to your places and the coach wi.l go on." The crowd "clumb," and the vehicle re sumed its journey. Not a weapon or a time-piece or a dollar had been saved. Seven well-armed men had been cleaned out by two and not a shot fired or a wound given. Each man took his seat without a word. Mile after mile was passed in si lence, and finally the seventh man, the one who might right on a pinch, but didn't. plaintively suggested : "van t some of you gentlemen think of a few remarks which would be apropos to the occasion?" Ho one could, and the silence was re newed. Or. C'bapia aa a Worker. Like Theodore Parker, Chi pin undoubt edly felt his vitality to be so immense that it could not be overtasked. Parker came of a long Uved race, but he died of over work at fiity. Chapin seemed made for infinite endurance, but he was shaken at sixty, and he died at sixty-ax. Some years ago, in the height of his prospering lectur ing ci-reer, tbe Easy Lhair met him at the Albany Railroad station in the early even ing of a winter day. He was snatching a "bile" and a cup of coffee, and as the bell rang, they hurried to the train, Chapin car rying a lumbering bag and shawls, and laughing and joking aa they climbed into the car. He had been out all tbe week. starling early Monday moming, after preaching twice on Sunday. He had lec tured every evening during the week, trav elling hard all day. "Up before light," he said gaylv, "eating tons of tough steaks and bushels of cold apples, whizzing on in tuese stifling cars, and turning out just in time to swallow a cup of tea, and off to tne lecture." It was tremendous work, as only the fully initiated know. But be made it all a joke, and his swift tongue flew hu morously on from incident to incident, and presently began to discuss the new books and the new articles in the magazines. with sharp and just discrimication. Sud denly the train slopped, evidently not at a SLauon. The night was cold and stormy. Presently the conductor parsed, and Chapin asked to know tha reason of the delay. The conductor replied that there was some derangement ot the locomotive ; and Cha pin Bui J, quietly, This is bad business for a man wuo has to preach at II o'clock to morrow morning, and whose sermon is not begun." His companion remonstrated ; but Cbapin's eyes twinkled as he answered: "Oh, you laymen know nothing auout it. Burns tang tue cotter's Satuiday night, but the minister's Saturday night is yet un written. At least," he said, laughing, "this one is likely to be unwritten." It was past midnight when the train reached the city. "Oood night," cried the hearty voice. "Go home, and go to bed ; I'm going to work." Tbe next time the Easy Chair met the preacher it asked about that sermon. "Oh, that was all right. I went home, and there was a bright fire in my study, and a brew of hot coffee, and I fin ifhetl that sermon just as the sun rose." And the next morning probably he was off again fur another week of the same kind. Keep lia eye npea. The stoi-m -doors around the post-office all open outwardly. This isn't for fear that a fire wiU occur and a rush ensue, but it is arranged that way to make a man mad. A mau will go singing along the street, smil ing all over, and bragging to himself how good nalured be is, when he suddenly re memberes that be must mail a letter. He is only one man, but the other mentioned in the heading stands around to give i vice. The first man runs up tbe stops and gives the door a push. It is as solid as s rock, and his mementum generally carries his knees and nose agaiiut tbe bard wood. "Push 1" yells the extra man. The other steps back, follows tbe advice, but with no successful results, and by this time his smile has faded, his dispepsia be gins to work up, and there is indigestion in his tones as he turns and asks : "Is this blasted old post-office closed for the day I" "Oh, no sir. I guess you will get in if you push hard enough. I presume the hinges are a little rusty." 1 ben the maa returns the charge. As a rule he puts his shoulder lo the door, his feet slip back, and he comes down in a graceful heap to be laughed at by all the boys. W ben be geu up he feels as u he could lick any seven men but before he has time to pick a fight the other advances and ay: Mighty cunoui about that door, Ah I 1 see opens this way. You might have pushed all day and not got in," The one that goes is too mad to post tn his letter. The one who stays out shakes all over and keeps his eye out for the next. Tree and fl&lau The countries of Sardinia and Sicily, once tbe granaries of Italy, have suffered tbe penalty of their thoughtlessness in ex terminating their forests, i wo tnousano years ago these lands were celebrated fe their wonderful productiveness, and were said to be the most beautiful in the world. In 1800 Humboldt visited Venezuela, and was informed by the natives living in Ar- aguay that they bad noticed, with great astonishment, that a lake which lay in tne middle of tbe valley had decreased in vol ume every year ; the cause clearly traced to the falling of a great number of trees which crew on the surrounding mountains. In Hungary periodical droughts are uni versally attributed to the annihilation of forests! In Cairo, Lower Egypt, a great many years ago, rain fell but seldom only once in three or four years but since the time of Mohammed An thirty or more l ul lion of trees bave been set or planted, and the result is now that the country has from tbiity to loity rainy days in every year. Wheu New England and the heaviiy lim bered Suites of the Union were first settled the rain-fail was greatly in excass ef what it is since so much of the land has been cleared up. Tha 'Bakai'a Doxem." Close by Market Street now Broadway lived and prospered a baker, the first man that ever baked New Year cakes in fact, the inventor ot them. 1 he name of our friend was Volckert Jan Pielersen Van Amsterdam, commonly known as Baas. lie was uuicn irom nis large ieei to ms round bald bead, and bad no respect for any one or anything that was not Dutch. He was a regular attendant t the old Dutch church, but, nevertheless, in fear of being bewitched. His wife.Maril je, was economi cal even to saving the parings of her nails, and his ginger-lread babies irere always made in lu ilation of his children. It was New-Year Eve, 1653, and Bass was in bis shop dealing out cakes for small pieces of money, called wamt tun. He bad taken an extra glass of rum in honor of St. Nicbo laus, when he heard a sharp rap, and in walked as ugly an old woman as ever he bad set his eyes on. 'I want a dozen New-Years cookies," she screamed. "Veil, den, you needn't sheak so loud," replied Pass. "D'jyvel ! 1 ain t leaf, den. "I want a dozen," screamed ihe old wo man, "and here is only twelve." "Yell, den.rnd what de duyvel is dwylf but a dozen I" sa'd tbe baker. "I tell you 1 want one morel" the shrieked. From this time on our baker s wife and himself were made miserable. Their money and cookies were taken away by invisible hands ; their bread either rose out of sight or sank into tbe eartb; their famous brick oven was torn down, and poor Baas pelted with hia own brick; Jlamje became deaf; Baas was black and bine from bead te toe: and such a life as he led was purgatory. Thrice the old woman appeared, and thrice was she sent to "de duyvaL" And at last in his agony, Baas bethought himself of St Nicholaus, who advised him, on hearing of his troubles, when he counted a dozen to count thirteen. "Py St. Johannes de Dooper, put St. Nicnolaus is a great plockhead!" thought Baas; and while be was thus thinking St. fuck bad vanished, and in bis stead was tbe old woman. "She repeated her demand for "one mote, "and Baas,remembenng St. Nicholvia, acceded to her demand, when abe exclaimed, 'The spell is broken, and henceforward a dozen is thirteen, and thirteen is a dozen. And taking a cooky with an tffljy of the good saint on it, she made Bias swear that ever afterward twelve should be thirteen, as a type of the thirteen mighty States that should arise out of the ruins of the government of Yad erlaudL It is well known how tcrnblv St. Nich olaus revenged hiinselt upon those who set the-mselves up against the venerable cus toms of their ancestors, and refused the homage to ami to whose good offices is was owing that this bis favorite city hat surpassed all the others in beautiful dam sels, valorous young men, niincepics, olie- koeks, and ew-1 ear cookits. Human Fiends, "Previous to the 21st of April, 1873, there lived at a town caUed N orris, Hain- tranick county, Mich., about six miles from tNs-city ef Detroit, two aged German farmers, both bachelors, Anthony Miller, one of the two, being reported quite wealthy. The name of the other could not be remembered, but was a sort of companion and helper ef Anthony. Their house was quite removed from other habi tai:03S and in rather a lonesome locality. On tbe night mentioned (April 21, 1578) five men came to their house and gained admission. They proceeded, to rob the premises, but the occupants attempted to resist, and in doiDg so were overpowered by the five. Miller was threatened with death if he did not disgorge his treasure. This he would not or could not do, and was brutally shot dead on the spot. His companion, who could scarcely speak En glish, was thoroughly frightened at the position in which he lound ni nisei , and when the five men turned their attention to him he was speechless with horror. Tney asked him where the money was. He tned to make them understand that be had no knowledge of its whereabouts. They threatened him wilt all sorts of tortures if he did not tell, but the uesired answer could not be given. Tbe old man did not know himself. Then a consulation was held for a few moments. At tbe end of it they seemed decided upon a course and now a scene of fiendish cruelly was enacted- The old man's hands were tied tightly together, then his feet, and he was laid upon the floor. Ued hot coals from tbe stove were brought forward. Again the victim was asked to tell the secret of the hidden wealth. He could only cry out unintelligibly in his agony. His bare feel were held in coutact with the tire, and bis mouth gagged to prevent his cries being heard at any great distance from tbe house. After a few applications the gag was removed and be was asked again to telt No answer came. The poor man's hps were burned attain and aain with the coals held to theui, while his bead was im movable hi the strong hands of the rob bers. Whether they then left of their own accord or were Irighened away by the approach of some one was not remember- eC but the dead man ard bis almost Ute- les companion were left to tbe mercy ot chance Tbe First tTacoa. A citizen residing in the northern part of of Detroit, who always orders bis groceries early in tbe moning, so that they can go up by the first wagon out, but wno nas been disappointed a hundred times in re ceiving them before noon, made another order the other day, and said to the gro cer: "Will these groceries go right np ? "Oh, yes, unless tbe wagon breaks down, or the horse is taken sick." "Will they be at the house within an hour?" Tbey certainly will, unless something happens to one of the clerks, or we have to turn out on an alarm of fire, or there is a sudden death in the store." "All right, though 1 haven't the least idea you will get them up there before noon." Noon came and the groceries had not reached the house. Atone o'clock the gentleman entered the store and asked: "Did the wagon break down ?" "No." "Horse taken sick, or anybody drop deadt" "No." "Have a fire here, or anything happen to a clerk?" No." "then why didn't my groceries go up?" "I will tell you,' plscidly replied the grocer. "You hadn't been gone ten min utes when 1 was drawn on a jury, and just as I was going out my head clerk an nounced that he was to be marned at ten o'clock. We sell No. 1. goods try to fill all orders promptly keep prices at the lowest notch, and once in a whde we have to disappoint some one. Your order will go right up by the first wagon. 1 bo Small Poa. A Slanchester curate walking along a street In the dinner hour, passed a lot of bricklayers smoking their pipei, and he heard one of the men say: " "I'd like to be a pars n, and have nowt to do but walk along in a black coat and carry a walking stick in my hand, and get a let of bra's." There was an approving laugh all around, whereupon the curate turned quietly around, and the following conversation en sued: So you would like to be a parsoat How much do yon get a wvek !" "Twenty.seven shillings!" "Well. 1 am cot a rich man, but I will give you twenty-seven shillings if yon will come with me for a week and see what my work is." Tbe bricklayer did not like the proposal, but his mates told him it was a fair oCcr. and he was bound to accept it. So he re luctantly followed the paison down an al ley. "Where are you going?" he asked. "To see a sick parishioner," was the re ply. "What is tbe matter with himt" "Small-pox." At this the man drew back. His wife snd bairns never bave the small-pox, and be was afraid of taking it to them. "My wife and bairns had never h?d tbe small-pox," said the curate. "Come along." The man hesitated. Oh, but you promised to accompany me wnerever 1 went," argued the curate. 'And where be you going next?" asked the bncklayer. "lo see a poor family huddled in one room, with the father dead of scarlet fever in it, and themselves ail down with it ; and, after that, to see another parishioner ill with typhus. And to-morrow there wUI be a longer round." Thereupon the bricklayer begged to be let off. Twenty-seven shillings would be poor pay for that kind of work, and he promised he would never speak against the parsons again. Balanomi. Bathrooms, or good conveniences for bathing, ought to te found in every farm house ; and yet it is an ocp'easant fact that they are of.en entirely lacking, and that a daily or semi-weekly "all over" bath is something undreamed of by many so- called civilized people who pride them selves upon their neat habits. This really religious duly of keeping the w hole body clean does not occur to them, and the neg lect ot it is one of tbe numerous ways in which busy, hard-wot king pee pie abuse themselves. Every villa, pretty country cottage and first-class farm-house now has its well-appointed bathroom, and so may the little three-cornered "ahantie, or the log cabin of tbe pioneer, have its possibihiies for bathing. If all can not command a special room with its ample tubs, showers, douches, and convenient supplies of hot and cold wa ter, all can have at least the seclusion of a closet, to which it is easy to carry a basin of water and a iponge. A bit of a room might be built adjoining tbe kitchen, with a sliding or hinged win dow opening near the cook-stove, thus se eming warmth in winter and bringing the "hot and cold water" within arm s reach. Then; with the addition ot a baih-lub, or even a large laundry tub, with a piece ot rubLer hose fixed in the bottom to carry off water to the drain, pegs for hanging towels and sponges, and a bracket lor holding soapa and that belter than all soaps, a bottie of ammonia it is a bathroom good enough lor a king. A very good shower bath can be had by suspending a watering-pot from a strong hook in the ceiling, the bather to regulate the showering by means of a string at tached to the spout. It will be found al most as satisfactory as the portable ones sold in house-furnishing shop. Ho Took tbe Pot. Recently a game ot poaer was played in a private room in one of the hotels of Car son City, which wound up in a decidedly peculiar manner. About V o clock a well known citizen of Geioa was convivializing with two piolessional sporting gentlemen at Winston's bar, when one of the latter proposed a game of cards, which was ac cepted by the two others. The party was soon in a five-dollar-Umit game of poker. For a while the Geaoese played in excel lent luck, when the proposition was made to play without limit, which was also unanimously agreed upon. The two sport ing men had entered into a contract to fleece the countryman, and tbey dealt him four jacks, tbe dealer took four queens, and tbe third received four aces. The man from Uenoa, believing the game was on tbe square, chipped $100; the "ace" man "saw him, and "raised another $100 ; the dealer "saw" that and "raised" $250. At this juncture of the game the Geno es:, whose credit is At, sent aown to tne office ot the h-jtel for $o00, which was at once brought to him. At length a "show'' of cards was called for, and as the sports did not want to impress their victim with the idea that tbey were playing him falsely. only the man with tbe queens produced bis hand. Ho sooner was this done than the victim, presumably knowing what he was about, whipped out a revolver, and struck the dealer over the head with it, knocking him senseless. Then he went after the man who held tbe four aces, and in tones of thunder inquired : "What have you got I Show up I "O-h, O h," replied he, "I ain't got nothing ; "I was only bluffing ; that s alL With that the Genoese picked up all the money on the table and walked off with it Bad tlen Cheeking- of Perspiration. A Boston merchant, ia 'lending a hand' on board one of his ships on a windy day. found himself at the end of an hour and a half pretty well exhausted and perspiring freely. He sat down to rest, and engaging in conveisalion, time passed faster than he was aware of. In attempting to rise, he found he was unable1 to iko so without as sistance. He was tiken home and put to bed, where he remained two years ; and for a long time afterward could only hobble about with the aid of a crutch. Less ex posure itwn this bave in constitutions not so vigorous resulted in InJamination of the lungs 'pneumonia ending in death in less in than a week, or causing tedious rheumatisms, to be a source of torture fur a lifetime. Multitudes of lives would 1 1 sayed every year, and an incalculable amount of human suffering would be pre vented, if parents would begin to expian to their children, at the age of three or four years, the danger which attends cooling off too quick. y after exercise, and tbe import ance of not standing still after exercise, or work, or play, or of remaning exposed to the wind, or of sitting at an open window or door, or of pulling off any garment, even the hat or bonnet, while in heat. Dyeing and Coloilns- The economical house-keeper will often wish to change or renovate ihe colors of partly worn or faded dress goods, or to pre pare new goods for making up. Home dyed goods may be often made superior in nary respect lo those that are purvha-ted in stores, in which (hespuess of produetion ii oft-n more thought of than pern anence in wi ar. Every bouse-keeper, therefore, hould bave within her bead or ber reach, io some manner, some simple methods of dyeing. Aniline dyes, now kept for sale t all tbe drug stores, will be lound very useful and convenient, and every packet sold has priuted upon the wrapper full di rections for use. Every known shade of color may be made trout these dyes, e ther by using them separately, or niingliag them to suit. Common dye stuffs are kept at every countiy store, and the lclloaiug receipts may be used with these : To dye a gooo t lack for one pound of goods pro cure one ounce of extract of logwood and one-balf ounce of blue vitrioL Dissolve the blue vitriol in an iron pot free from crease, with enouyh soft water to im merse the goods wi.hout crowding them. bring Ihe water to a scalJiug heat, skuu it, wring tbe goods out of warm water, and put them wet mto thu liqixir. They must remain at a scalding heat half an hour, and are then taken out anj rinsed in soft water. The logwood extract is then diolved in sufficient water to cover ihe goods, which are put in and kept a: a staining heat for lalf an hour, being frequently stirred. 1 hey are then taken out and weU rinsed in soft water, then washed in strong soap suds and rinsed ; the last rinsing should be in clear water wuh half a tea cup full of baking soda dissolved in it. Old faded woolen dresses should be ripped axd thor oughly dusted before dyeing ; then pressed before quite dry on the wrougside, making the folds as they were ahen new. Gray, slate or stone color, for cotton or woolen, ia made as follows : For two pounds of goods take a quarter of a pound of the cheapest black tea to be found. This has enough logwood in it Steep in an iron kettle, with the tea in a bag, and then bod, squeezing the leaves dry ; add one teaspoon! ul of copperas. Put in the goods. For light gray or orab leave tbe good in a short ume ; tor darker colors leave longer. Kinse in clear warm water. Wool king boiled and aired often, becomes brown in this dye. T his dye gives the fashionable color to stockings. Purple pink may be produced by boiling one pound of cud bear, for five pounds of goods, in soft water; then put in one ounce of alum. When dissolved, put in the goods and let them simmer half an hour, stirring frequently to prevent clouding. Kinse in warm w:tier. A tin pan is best tor this color; iron will brown it. Wooden vessels used in dying can be clesned by rubbing them at once, before they are dried, with wood ahes. Equity In TennonW There was a certain Vermont farmer named Brown, who owned a ilarge sheep iarm and wtio, once on a time, finding himself in difficulties, came down to But ton and consulted his brother-in-law, who was a lawver, who was a keen man of business and had money to spare, agreed io lend tne tanner such sums as he required. provided tne latter would give him a first mortgage on the sheep farm. Tbe farmer assented to this, tbe mortgi ge was duly made and recorded and tbe farmer returned home to Vermont with the money in his pocket. 1 line went on and the farmer paid in terest promptly, the same passing through the hands of one John Smith, who was a man of mark in the farmer's neighborhood and had accordingly been deputed by the Boston lawyer to receive the interest and forward the same to him. At length, however,fj-mer Brown, find ing Utile market for bis wool and having invested in certain worthless outlying farms, again fell into difficulties, and this time sought tbe advice and assistance of hia neigbbo.-. Smith, who, after looking over the matter, agree 1 to advance Brown certain sums and .take security, by mort gage of the farmer's Carts, wagons, horses, sheep-shears and other perssoal property. the farm itseif being ai ready mortgaged to the Boston lawyer. But Brown si ill failed to prosper and at length could pay inter neither to tbe lawyer nor to Smith. Then it was agreed that his assets should be fairly divided be tween the two mortgages, and Squire Joyce, a Justice of the Peace in the neigh borhood, who was a member of the same church as Smith, was selected to act as ref eree. 1 he parties met at tbe Squire's office and each spoke for himself, the law yer first Said he : "I have a first mort gage on the farm, duly executed and re corded, and of course the farm must be long lo me." Not much !" said Smith. "I have a mongage later than yours, on the personal property, and if that isn't enough to cover my debt 1 shall grab the farm too. My equity is superior to yours. Isn't tha' so' Squire i The 'Squire hemmed and hawed and finally said to tne lawyer : "i ou consented to smith s mortgage, didn I you! ".6 said the lawyer. '"That makes do difference," interrupted Smith, "I did it for you!" "Jes so, ies so: "said the 'Squire, "I remember. The whole business was mighty simple. You jest consented as this Boston man s attorney to Brown's making a mortgage to you," "But what of it." cned the lawyer. "He couldn't give any binding assent to make bis mortgage better than mine." "."erhaps not in law," said the 'Squire, 'but in equity, in equity, my dear sir ; we go by equity here In Vermont" A Great loveatment. Recently, in a business transaction be tween two citizens, in New York, oce of them deeded the other 300 acres of land in Pennsylvania, and the other day tbe buyer entered the seller's office. "1 have just returned from a tnp to Pennsylvania to see the land I got fiom you. "Ah I as I never saw it myself I have some cuaiosity about it "It is a swindle, sir a barefaced swin dle ! exclaimed the other. "Is that possible! Didn't you find the land!" "Yes, sir, but it is nothing but a hilL" "A hill? Is it real solid hilL" "It is as solid a hill as can be made of rock and dirt" "Any eLances for any part of it to slide ever on another man's land?" "No, sir." Seems to be soUd on its pins does it I" "Yes, sir." 'Then let me congratulate you on your bargain. I've bougl t and sold any amount of Pennsylvania land and the great draw back has been to buy and sell a big hill which would stay in one spot over a week. The last one I sold slid a mile and a half while the buyer was going from h?re to Pittsburg. You have made a great invest ment, sir, and 1 sincerely and honest y con gratulate you on your good fortune," BRIEFS. The brain of a can exceeds twice that ot any other animal. The average weight of a skeleton Is ab mt fourteen pounds. 'The French of New Orleans are a third of the whole pi polaiion. The Territorial debt of Montana is only a little over f 20,100. Tbe average weight of an adult man l- 140 pound -t six.ounces. Eighteen ariff acts have been passed since 18C1. The skelrt n measures one inch less than tne height of a living man. Rxbard III. was killed at tha bit tie ol Boswortn Field in the year 1435. Cbevallear Kreraer will be the new Austrian Amb-i-sador to Washington. The debt ot Massacnuwrt $68, 512 927, in increase of 1731,370 over 187!. The comet of 1812 is rat idly ap proaching, and will soon make i.seif . visible. The Territory of Alaska has about one inhabitant to every 1,000 square miles. Macon, Georgia, is to have a $15.- 000 brick building for public school purpo es. The total sum reccommendel br all theappropriation bills la $137,577, 000. The Canadians propose to increase the duty on pork from $2 to $4 per bar rel. Seven States are visible from tbe summit ot Rjan Mountain lu N'ortti Carolina. Minnesoto has aoDroDa'ateJ $15)0 in the last five years to encourage tree planting. Senator Blaine is mentionel an owning IW.OOJ in bonds of the State of Maine. Mr. Smart, the chamDion skater of England, has skate J a mile In three minutes. The amount of rent due in Vw York every quarter is estimated at $120.UOO,lOU. From 1343 to Jan. 1. 1SS1. Califor nia turned out iu gold and siiver $2, 139.258,000. There are 6G.00O school-! can I of leges in India, wuu an attend aueeoi" 9tw,Oto boys and girls. The Masonid fraternity, according to ihe la.e.-t figures, has 45,50 mem bers in Germauy. Chicago uses 57,412.00) gallons ot na'.er per day. or over 114 gallons lor each man, woman a id cui.d. The city of London gives $10,000, 000 every year toward the reii-?l ol dis tress, suffering aud poverty. One hundred and fifty thousand acres of land in Mississippi bave been sjld to a Scotch laud company. arge cotton factories will be built this yar at Vicksturg, New Orleans, Louie v u le and Cnarleatou. The public debt of Canada was in creased nine and a hall million during the fiscal year ending June 3 133 J. The number ol prllgrluu who vis ited the aaored ahriue of Mace last year ia suied to have exceeded 2 JO,0.'O. Col. Drake, the discitveier of petroleum, will haves $15 OXJ monu ment erected to his memory at Titus- vale, i'enn. The gum on some letter envelopes Is said to have seriously poisoned a physician in Orange county, X. Y.. a lew days ago. An Indiana man hai built a minia ture steamer twenty-five feet long, in wblch he proposes to make a trip to New Orleans. There are between seven and eliht Nundred proles-don tl models in Pans. tblrty-tbree of whom are Americans. They are every age, from children of six to men and women of sixty. The sum of $145,000,000 was per manently invested iti new railrotda in lb. a couutry last year. Tue increase in mileage was 7,2o7. There are only three ladies living whose husbands were PresiJants of tho United Scatee. Mrs. Polk. Mrs. Tvler and Mrs. Lincoln. Leiutenant Maurice 0"C-nneI. of the Sixtieth K.nVa, who was killed In the battle in the Trans val recently was a grand nephew of Danuiel O'Connell. In Germany, including the free cities, about eighty-five per cent, of the population nave incomes under $J00; in Berlin. II unburn, and Bre men, 14.6 per cent have incomes from $3U0 up to $1,500. While the area of land under gen eral cultivation in Great Briuin has increased during the past ten years 1,64,UUU acres, mat in wheat has de creased 5V1.0UU. The Canadian lalles'are striving to get 100,000 signatures to their ai- drea to be preseuted to tj leea Victoria on her birthday, anj attesting their continued loyalty. The Britlsn Minister of Pans re ceive an annual stla-y of $50,000; ai Vienna, $40,000; at CuslauiuoDla. $40,000; at St. Petersburg, $39,000; at Berlin, $Jo,000; at Pekiu. $3J.000: at Madrid even, $27,000. Tbe Gran din Brothers of D iknt are said to have raised last year 137, 237 busheis of wheat The odd 37.000 is said to have paid all cost of cuinvx- tien and marketing, leaving loo.ooo bushels at 75 cents a bushel lor profit. . There are now 56) cities in tha United States supplied with water fork 4, Involving 13. COO miles of DiDe. 10,000 of whicn are of cast iron. Last year the State ot North Caro lina produced 46,000,000 pounds of to'jacco, or neany one pvuud for every man, woman au-i child in the country. The registered tonage of the Brit ish empire now amounts to 7,533,432 tons contained In 36.935 vessels, man ned by 337 624 seamen. Daring tne past year 1,706 new vessels were built and tegistered. The New York City orisons open ed t leir doors last year to 3d 825 per sons ei intemperate uaotts. rue p dice stations furuisndd lodgiufs to 1.20,03 4 men aud women who had nowhere else to sleep. In 1837 Chicago became a city, William B. Odeu being the first Mayor. Tue population was 4.17J. 1'Ue United Slates census of 134 1 gave the popul uion as 4.353. an iuurese of 683 in tnrce years. M. Andreas Hofer, the grandson of the Tyrolean patriot shot oy order ol apoiean 1, has recently gone mad irons an excessive use of tobacco. M. Holer baa been a member of ihe Aus trian i'ariiuieiit for several years. A "rubber-beaded tack" Uss been Invented by a misguided man. Every body who has sat down In peace and risen in wrath knows ibat tne head of a tack is not tbe end which needs im provement with a rubber point.