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hi
4
B. F. SCHWEIER,
THE 005ST1TUTI0I TEE XTHOII AID TEE EiTOBGElfniT OP TEE LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor-
VOL. XXXIV.
MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY, PENNA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 28, 18S0.
NO. 31.
MIL
BT-AKB-BT.
B quiet, restless heart ! The long light lie
In gleams of lingering sanshine on the hill ;
Ibe home-bonnd (wallow, twittering as he
llM,
Makes eilenoe aeem more still.
The shadows deeper grow, and in the woods
The air a latent sweetness hoi da la fee ;
An odor faint of yet nabloanomed bn Is
So like, dear heart, to thee !
Far distant in the soft cerulean deep.
Where the horizon bounds the nether world.
Great ehipe becalmed, like brooding birds
asleep.
Lie with white sails loose furled.
In peao the day is ended, and the night
Falleth as doth a roil upon the sea :
Along it besom comes with swift-winged flight
The gray mist silently.
O anxious heart, how Nature spsaks ! Her
power
How leisurely shs uses. How intense
The infinite peace of her most fruitful hour !
How soft her influence !
Tune hath shs for her storms to sweep the
me n ;
To rock the treetope with hsr winds of
wrath ;
To bring forth fragrance in the summer rain ;
And tune for snow she hath.
6o dear, for all thy eager soul desires.
Shs keeps sweet tunes and seasons. In her
mood
Is hid for thee all passions s subtile fires
To roond thy womanhood.
Cease, then ! and in this dewy twilight, more
As one who ease Dot whit ber. cares not why;
This gift for all holds still the eternal love
God s endless by and by.
A Pretty Game.
Ou the porch of Mr. Everson's floe res
deuce in M , on a beautiful evening about
sunset, stood Julia Lverson, a beautiful
young lady, with deep blue, lustrous eyes.
and Francis Rowley, a tail handsome
young man, his face glowing with health
and his deport men, that of a perfect gen
tleman. ''Tour father," said Francis, addressing
Julia, "is as determined as ever, I suppose,
about this affair of of the marriage?'' His
look was averted from her while he pro
nounced the words.
"Determined!" Julia Everson exclaimed;
"Why papa is so bent upon my becoming
Mrs. Upjohn, that he would die of rage,
I think, were my resolution known
to him "
"And that resolution is, Julia "
"To give Mr. Upjohn plainly to under
stand that the times we live in are not
those which tolerate the affiancing of two
children in their cradles, merely because
their parents happen to be friends. Be
sides this George Upjohn has the manners
of a regular clod, and has passed his whole
life in some obscure place out West. Do
you believe in proverbs, Francis?"
"Why do you ask?"
Because 1 da" Julia Everson's face
wore a look of very firm determination as
she spoke.
"To what particular proverb do you
have reference just now?" Francis asked.
"To the one which says, "Where there's
a will there's away.' I think that you
and I may test its truth, if we are so in
clined. Of course, I wont elope with you,
Francis. I dont censider elopements res
pectable. I shall never marry you If I
have to d- It there!" She looked serious
enough to keep her resolution.
"You mean then Julia by coming the
mightily eloquent over your fathert" Fran
cis asked.
"And get pooh-poohed for our pains,"
the replied, with a alight laugh, "No I
mean something else. Papa is still asleep,
and likely to remain so for an hour. Let
us take a stroll through the garden, and I
will disburden myself of a weighty
secret."
"Is Mr. Everson at hornet"
George Upjohn was the enquirer, and
he was shown into a small sitting-room on
the ground floor of the house. Presently
the door opened, and Julia Everson en
tered the room.
"Mr. John Everson," said she Las been
unwell for several days, sir, and he lias
lately fallen asleep; his daughter, Miss
Julia, does not consider it advisable to
awake him. But she will be happy to
see Mr. Upjohn herself, provided he
wishes It."
"Of course of course by all means
ertainly," stammered Upjohn, to whom
the immediate prospect of beholding his
fiancee was thoroughly overwhelming. "Be
good enough wont you to tell her so?"
Soon afterwards a tall young lady (who
struck him, the more he looked upon her.
as an unnaturally and disagreeably tall
woman) attired in a short, ill-fitting dress
and wearing, upon a countenance full of
"broad-blown comlincss, red and white,"
about the most thorough from ear-to-ear
sort of smile that Upjohn ever remem
bered having seen, entered the room.
"How d'ye do?" said the gigantic vir
gin, accompaning her salutation with a
boisterous laugh. You're Mr. Upjohn, of
eourse? Well 1 dont like your looks a bit.
How do you like mine?"
"I I think there must be some mis
take," he answered in amazement. "I un
derstood Miss Julia Everson was to "
"Well, I am Julia Everson."
"Impossible!''
"Perhaps you mean I disappoint yju,"
she cried out in a loud, coarse tone. "I
dare say you're a good enough kind of a fel
low, but then you're decidedly not the fellow
fur me. Saw that the instant I clapped
eyes on you. I'm the sort of girl
likes plucky, sporting-men with lots of 'go'
in them, and a general air of being up to
snuff." You're not that sort of chap."
"No!" exclaimed Upjohn, with Ple
embarrassed countenance) "no, Miss Julia,
I am n, th irw nf manhood you admire
Is is your father in? Can I see him for
a few moments?" . ,
"Our girl told yon he was asleep, dldn t
she?" was her Indifferent answer. "Be
sides, as you've come to stay several days,
and have hmue-ht tout portmanteau, any
time will do, I suppose, at which to hold
your confab with pa".
Upjohn, stiffening visibly ta manner,
abrurjtlv answered:
"Since I cannot tee your father tt Is
bettw that 1 should at once take my
parture."
"And why so Georgy?"
de.
"Ueorgyr Could he believe his own
esxsr Was this vixenish, overgrown fe
male the Julia Everson whom he had
shipped in dreams as his future wife? He
wouia rather die than become the husband
of so hideously ogretsh a creature.
"I have no reason to give for leaving so
ajmiuuy, nesaio, in sharp, cold tones.
Julia made some odd sound between
giggle and a chuckle, and as he was about
to retire, she said:
"Oh you dont like fun, d'ye?
cigar wont you?"
Have
Heavens, exclaimed the bewildered
Lpjohn, stumbling backward in astonish.
roent 'you cant possibly mean that you
smoke?"
-t-ertainlyldo," was the reply, Miss
f-verson biting the end of a very nice-look,
ing Figaro as she spoke.
Mr. Upjohn walked deliberately for
ward, and took his portmanteau, and.
having bowed was about quitting the apart
meat, when Julia exclaimed:
1 hope I haven't offended you, Pa'll
be frightfully mad when he hears you've
gone in this style. He'll be sure to blame
me, too. I wish you'd leave him a litt'e note,
explaining that you go of of your own
free will, as it were."
"I shall be very willine, 3Iiss Everson
he said, "to leave a note for your father.
What is it you desire me to write?" taking
a card-case and pencil from one of his
pockets.
"Only that you dont think we suit each
other well enough to get married. Please
dont say anything about smoking, because
pa don't know I smoke, and "
Upjohn delayed no longer, but wrote the
following on a card, and handed it to Miss
Everson as a message to her father
"Sik I desire to have the agreement
broken concerning my future marriage
with your daughter. I have held an inter-
view with her, and I confess to beisg
wholly unwilling that such a lady shall be
come my wife.
"Gioboi Upjohx."
"That's precisely it!" boisterously ex
claimed Miss Everson, seizing the cigar.
"Old fellow you ve got a handsome streak
in you, if we dont like each other." Up
john rushed from the apartment, and short.
ly afterward tie ball door closed upon
his retreating figure.
"Francis, you have certainly been
making the most utterly revolting creature
of yourself that it is possible to conceive of.
I have been listening in the dining-room
yonder to every word you said." And the
real Julia Everson surveyed her disguised
lover with laughing eyes.
"There is my chief trophy." exclaimed
Rowley, waving above bis head the card
which contained Upjohn's message to her
father.
Upjohn put in no further appearance.
Mr Kverson was deeply indignant on read
ing his card, and ultimately consented to
Julia's marriage with Francis Rowley the
man of her choice. So much for the clever
disenchantment and the verification of
Julia's favorite maxim "Where there's
a will, there's a way."
That w. t Wncn.
The tenant of a house ou Crawford street,
Detroit, who was always behind in his
rent, was seme days since ordered to va
cate, and then he put bis imagination at
work to invent excuses to remain in the
house. He first had his wife fall sick, and
thereby got a week. Then he was taken
with the chills and got in four days more.
Then he got two days in which to get
another house, and when an officer went
there for the key he found the man dying.
At least his wife said such was the case,
and acted like one greatly distressed in
mind.
This is very sudden," remarked the
nonplussed officer.
Very sudden, sir. He had just said to
me that we would begin moving after din
ner, when he dropped on the floor and he
has been lying in a stupor ever since. The
doctor says he mar never rally again."
Can I see him?"
"Oh, yes, but please don't speak abcrve
a whisper."
She led the way to the bedroom. There
lav th unmnarioua man. but somehow he
didn't look as a sick man should, and his
breath had a strong smell of whisky. The
officer felt of his pulse and made np his
mind that it was a game to beat the court.
- ..war ii if Tl a.
He therefore Degan: -wen, jits, oiaua,
I congratulate you. In a few hours more
.mi ti nri nr mm iorever. xic is a
ereat loafer and a hard drinker, and but
for this he wouia nave aiea in mc
prison."
Th wif nncneA her eves in astonish
ment and the officer continued:
"I'll leave word with the umien alter as i
go down. Any sort of a box will do, or
may be they'll haul him out on the com
mons. It's of no consequence what be
comes of these old soakers. Yon will be
a happy woman when the old gaiooi goes
up the spout."
At this point me ayiug mui UH1
and took a cool survey of the officer and
quietly observed: .
jjir you are no genwetuaui , j
are not! I'm no soaker or loaier, ana i
. : tn understand that I'm able to
have as decent a funeral as you can. You
can take your old house ana go u uan
with it for all of me. Mary hand me my
nhms- this vulearian that
we can move out of this old shanty, and
into a residence in about iony minmes.
In about twenty minutes all their goods
were on the walk and the house locked up.
Uigs cattle Flak.
vn-.n,twr i 1878. a fisherman was
out in a boat with two other men near
Le,th Bay Copper Mine, Notre Dame Bay.
when they observed some bulky object not
Ljaee' anntVkaKsVl
far from shore, wnicn -w
. . . K. nrt of a wreck. To
tninKing ""ft"" r . , ,
their horror they found themselves close
to a large Bah having uig k"j
was making desperate efforts to escape,
and was churning me
r ;mm.nw arms and tails.
tne mouou vi , ,
Finding it partially disabled, they plucked
up courage and threw the boat's grapnel,
which sank into its soft body. By means
of the stout rope attached to the gI'
and tied to a tree the fish was prevented from
going out with the tide ; its druggies were
wrrific as, in a dying agony, it flung its
lemuv, ' , ,.-. lt became ex-
great armsaHuuk .. m,
Eed,and as the water receeded it ex
nired. Its body lrom " 7.
Si to the extremity of the taiL meas
ured twenty feet, a.d one of the tentad.-s.
or arms, measured thirty-five feet. "This
merest specimen yet
Architeuthi pnnceps. Prof, vemu
motions eighteen species as now known on
the northeastern coast of America.
Torn Barbrra Mistake.
"Yes, sir," said burly Tom Barber, of
Towsontown, to a reporter, as he turned up
one of his heavy, hob-nailed booj, and
knocked the ashes from his pipe, "I've
been considered for some time 'bout the
best man in this 'ere region, and, ter go
further, I kin lick the headhehts clean
offer any man that bristle his neck-feathers
'round this part of the country. I've
done it in mv time and kin do it again. I
lammed big Sam Shoeck, of the Hartford
road, till he wasn't no niore'n half a man,
and as for that feller out at Govanstown
that evrybody said could fix me up, why, I
met him one day when both of us were
purty full, and 1 cooped him like abarL I
just tell yeu I ain't no slouch it's all sci
er.ee and if you doubt the strength of my
irm, why just "
"Thanks, thanks," said the reporter hur
riedly ; "dont rise on my account. The
fa.t is, I am not a pugilistic character. Yes,
yes that is, you were saying " x
"Why, I was a saying," resumed the
giant, s'appingkischest, that the boys out
here all havegrudges against me for knock
downs at various times, an' they put up the
meanest jobs on me 'bout the time that feller
Miller was a trainin' for a walk with the
Scotchman, Roes. You see, I didn't know
Miller from a side of sole-leather hadn't
never seen him and one day I walked Into
Jake Simms' place down thar near the car
traiL, and there wux a gang of the boys in
the saloon, a drinkin' an' foolin' aroun' an'
a right stout 'lookin' chap I hadn' never see
before was a-showin Johnny llaree some
sort o foolish little kinks with the gloves,
an' Johnny was a-pluggln' away at him, but
couldnt tech him. I thought It wuz one o'
these darned city chaps come out here
thinkin' he wux some shakes with his props
and, bein' a Utile pert that way mysel', 1
sot up impatient-like and watched 'em
foolin' away like dunchill chickens kickin'
up the dirt, and I sort o' leant over to Sam
Johnson and whispered as how I would like
to give that city Chap a little turn. Sam
grinned a few, an' turned an' hollered to
the boys an' the big feller that Big Tom
wanted to put 'em on with the stranger.
1 hey all burst out laffin', but I thought it
wuz at the idee of seem" me set him down
on the floor with my old underhander. So,
I got up, stripped off my coat, let down my
galluses, an' got the buckskins on. The
other feller was interduced as Mr. Thomp
son, an' then pulled off his coat I seed he
hadn't on nothin' but a sort o' undershirt,
an' an that he wuz right sharp built about
the arms an' chest, but I didn't think for a
minnit who 'twas, though now I wonder
how I could a-iuade stich a dog-goned fool
of myself, secin' as how I bad heered 'bout
the walkin' match, and sum of the boys had
been sayin' that Miller was goia' to walk
out to town every evening. Well, any how,
we came to time, the stranger sorter smilin'
an' a-shngin' his arms around thout any
guard sorter crazy like an' I let out at
him with some rip snorters ; but somehow
they didn't quite reach him, coz he was
kinder shy, and dodged his head away. He
dicta' hit back, and 1 thought i wuz a- tak
ing his gall from the fust ; so I went at
hi. -. !:ke a good 'un, and was givin him the
best in the shop. I couldn't hit him, coz
he kept keepin' away, but he was smilin',
so I kinder got mad. Once or twice he let
out, sorter timid like, with his left, and
touched me on the nose, and that made me
worse ; so I fixed to gin him a right-hander
and was coniin' at him with my whole
weight, when he kinder dodged his head
to one side, and my fist went past his head,
but my nose brought up against his fist,
and the next tiling I was settin' on the
sanded floor with a bloody nose, and all
the fellers wuz just a killin' themselves
a-nudgin' one another an' laffin', I sot
there, sorter stunted-like, when the stran
ger, lathn' nt to Dust, says: gii up man,
you ain't half licked yet ;' but I told him I
had nough, and was then introduced io
Professor William Miller. Well! you
could a-knocked me down with a feather.
Just to think;I had been slagging away at
old Miller, thinking he was some softy, and
had been wondenn' why 1 couldn t bit him
as I did the town gawks. Well, we wuz
the best of friends after that, and as the old
boy used ter walk out here every evemn',
why, we met oftener afterward, but never
again wun gloves on. i nana you . a.
little whisky 'thout any water or sugar
in it."
A BltT Item.
A tall lady with a saturnine countenance
came into the Chronicle officer at Virginia
and demanded of one of the reporters if
Virginia offered a good field for a series of
a dozen lectures on women sunraee. "1
dont think the Comstockers have thought
much about female suffrage," replied the
reporter frankly. "Uont say remale,"
said the tail lady sharply. "Why not?"
asked the reporter, in innocent surprise.
'Because, sir, a term used to describe sex
in animals should not be applied to woman. "
The reporter admitted in great humilation
that the point was well taken, and looked
up in some alarm at the severe countenance
of the lady, who was a head taller than
himself and manifestly able to thrash him
in the interest of progress, if so disposed.
The stern countenance softened somewhat
at the signs of confessed inferiority, bow
ever, and the lady continued; "The cause
of women is the cause of humanity. The
cause of humanity embraces all progress.
Why then should the people of Virginia be
indifferent to woman?" "They're not!"
cried the small reporter hastily. "Far
from it. Woman is the boss in this camp.
Everything she wants she gets, and not
ooe in a hundred has, to do a lick of work."
Mere play toys," said the tall one,
with deep scorn. "Playthings for an idle
hour. You cover woman with silks and gnuds
and sink her soul into insignificance by cir
cumscribing her sphere and allowing her
no mission in Ufe.' "Well," admitted
the small reporter, "that's about the way
we look at it up here, that's a fact. Wo
men haven' got the nerve to rastle for
themselves like men." "Jfe-r-r-ve!" She
uttered this word in a terrific tone, so teri-
fic that the small reporter half rose from his
chair. Nerve! What is there requiring
nerve that you do that I am incapably of?"
No offence, madam, no offence, I meant
nothing personal, I assure you." "Am I
not stronger than you?" she demanded,
scorning the apology. Am I not gifted
with as a great a brain? tt ny do you de
spise my sex? We can bear m re pain,
and are, therefore, your superiors in cour
age." The small reporter was gazing fix
edly at a dark corner of the room and made
no answer. .Nerve, indeed, continued
the tall lady, "why women have infinitely
more nerve than men. Only yesterday I
saw a woman " "That's the biggest rat I
ever saw in the once," said the small re
porter, staring intently at the dark comer.
The screams that rent the air brought in
all the printers and several citizens from
t le street. When they arrived, the tall
one was standing on a chair, with one hi -nd
, covering her eyes and the other convulsive
ly clutching at her skirts as she gathered
' them close around her. The small reporter
- wisely took advantage of the crowd to slip
' out and he telegraphed from Gold Hill
that be was going down to Carson to work
up a big item.
I
The Deadly Paimaol.
Few people have any idea of the amount
of eyes that are actually mined by the para
sols of small wives. In the year 1879, it
is estimated that in the United States alone
two hundred and sixty eyes were totally
put out, and seven hundred and nine were
more or less injured. Ho accurate table
of the number of divorces produced by the
same cause has been made, but the fact
that about two-thirds of all the divorced
men in the State of Illinois are one-eyed
gives us some idea of the extent to - hicb
the parasol in the hands of a wife objuc-
tionably small ruins the peace of families.
What is the proper remedy for this giant
evil? This is a question for every man who
contemplates taking a small wife. It will
not do to increase the lengtp of the parasol-handle
inversely as the height of the
wife. There is a certain standard of length
for the parasol-handle beyond which it can
not be increased, for the reason that when
the handlle is too long the parasol does not
cast a shadow which can be kept in posi
tion over a bonnet with any cert aunty.
Equally impracticable would be any device
for increassing the height of wives, so as to
bring their parasols above the level of their
husband's eyes. Already the boot-heels
are made as high as possible, and if any
attempt is made to increase their height,
women would be totally unable to walk.
ut course the wise men who are still un
married, and who know the dingers that
accompany the parasol of the small wife,
can resolve to marry no woman whose
parasol will not at least reach six inches
above the level of his eyes, but the man
who is already married to a small wife
cannot better his situation by making good
resolutions as to the selection of his second
wife.
It may be said that the small wife
should be required to hold her parasol in
such a way as not to endanirer her hus
band's eyes. Of course, this is physically
possible, but he knows little of the nature
of women who fancies that any wife will
submit to dictation as to how she shall
carry her parasol Vhen her husband re
marks, "There my dear! my other eye is
gone!" she merely says, 'How can you be
so stupid!" and calmly lays all the blame
on him. If requested to keep her parasol
out of her husbands eyes, she either flatly
refuses and tells him to mind his own
affairs as if he had no right to feel any
interest in his eyes or she hursts into
tears, and says if he cannot walk with her
without insulting her he had better stay at
home The parasol is probably dearer to
a woman than any other earthly thing, and
she will carry it in what she considers
the proper way, though all the male sex
should be blinded thereby.
The only apparent defense against the
parasol is to cover the ends of its ritis with
large India rubber fenders. On each end
should be placed a sphere of solid rubber
of at least an inch in diameter. By no
possibility could the human eye be injured,
by contact with so lanrc and soft a sub
stance, and the liuslwnd of a small wife.
whose parasol should be thus rendered in
nocuous, could walk with her in a crowded
street in safety, It is evident however,
that nothintr except stringent legislation
will induce the women of our country to
consent to have their parasols decorated
with rubber spheres. If merely requss
ted to do so by their husband, they will un
hesitatingly refuse, and in most instances,
will assert that the request is deliberately
intended to make them ridiculous. The
Legislature, however, can very properly
make and enforce laws for the protection
of the eyes of male citizens. That a wo
man should be allowed to carry a weapon
that constantly menaces her husband with
blindness is a reproach to our civilization.
We forbid men to carry pistols and knives
and we should equally forbid women to car
ry the dangerous and sometimes dvadlv
parasol now in constant use.
An Ancient Dutch Village
Wormeldingen is a curious village. Its
trees and houses closely resemble a big lot
of Nuremberg toys just unpacked. Imagine
a double row of dwellings, all squat, all
pretty, ail spotlessly clean, all vml colors.
all built exactly in the same way, with the
same materials, placed in two long lines.
symmetrically intersected by straw colored
woodwork. Before these two lines of
'houses plant two rows of little old trees.
with thick trunks and sparse foliage, all
clipped, shaped and pointed; all of the
same size and forming a kind of screen, no
thicker or higher at one end than at the
other, nor in the middle than at the two ex
tremities. Then in the street dusud,
cleaned, scraped unremittingly; where the
hous2S are washed and waxed until you
could not find a spot upon them, nor so
much as a straw lying about where the
trees have a brushed and combed look, and
not a leaf is out of its place; picture a pop
ulation of honest folks all dressed after the
same fashion the son like the father and
the father like the grandfather; the little
girl like the grown up girl and the mamma
like the old grandmother, and you have
Wormeldingen as nearly as I can give an
idea of the place. Be careful to remember that
each little bouse, taken separately, is a pret
ty bonbon box; and that the costumes,
taken separately, are charming. These
peasants, great and small, dressed entirely
in velvet and black cloth, with their knee
breeches; their coarse stockings, their shoes
with silver buckles, their high waistcoats
with a double row of buttons in filigree
silver, their coats cut into their waists,
their belts with silver clasps and their gold
buttons at the neck, look remarkably well.
Complete this costume by a gracefully
shaped felt bat, the brim raised behind and
sloping in front, so that it forms a sort of
visor, and you will have a notion of the
dress which is worn in Zuid-Beveland. This
costume looks pretty on the children, ele
gant on the men and picturesque on the
old people, and it is always and every
where most original - and characteristic.
The uniform of the women for I really
must call it so is equally curious and equ
a ly tasteful. From their most tender
youth to the pitiless age at which the body,
bent by years, is bowed down toward the
earth soon to be its last resting place, the
form and arrangement of the women's at lire
are unvanable. From the cradle to the
tomb all the stout peasants have bare arms,
the biut confined by a very tight bodice,
over which 'ies, in graceful folds, a hand
kerchief, fastened by a coral brooch. The
face is framed in a coif with wide borders,
which resembles a veil rather than a cap.
A flat piece of gold hangs down on the
forehead; corkscrews of gold adorn the
temples; on the neck is a coral necklace;
nngs and brooches abound in a word,
these women wear a profusion of valuable
ornaments. So much for the upper part
of the figure, which is highly adorned and
generally slim and de'icate. The slender
ness of the women's figures is rendered
more striking by an enormous petticoat,
three yards wide, which is held out bv a
monstrous hoop resembling a bell the body,
from the waist np, representing the handle,
and the two slender legs the clapper. When
seen from a distance thus attired and
standing still, the women might easily be
taken for large dolls. The ruined houses.
the mutilated buildings, the torn up squares
transformed into pita and holes, al -form
hideous scene of ruin and devastation; and
in the midst of it all the author places
group of pretty girls, in the widely -hooped
costume of the period, laughing behind
their fans at the indiscret speeches of a gal
lant cavalier. Perhaps he wants to make
the frightful picture that he places before
our eyes seem more striking from this con-
trast.
rhe Ulterior of the vast and ancient
church presents a mournful aspect. Its
wide nave terminates in a ruin; it is sep
arated by a wooden partition from a gigan
tic transept, and the latter, transformed
into a covered passage which leads from
ore end ot the quarter to another, opens
upon a space once occupied by the choir,
which has long since disappeared. Noth
ing can be more impressive than this great
empty piece of ground, covered with briers,
where there are few great trees, where the
grass grows hard, dry and scanty, as
though in a cemetery, and where the eye
seeks in vain among the undulations of the
soil for traces of the vanquished choir.
Those great ogival bays, now masked by
common masonory, and those majestic
arcades, whose fine architectural curves re
main unfinished, produce a dreary effect.
Mill more melancholy is the transept.
which has been transformed into a passage.
and is now a receptacle for mutilated
tombs, headless statues and broken grave
sla'js. A great company of heroes have
been laid to rest ui this noble sanctuary.
The ancient seigneurs of Bergen had their
place of sepulture within its precincts; and,
after them, the governor of the city. Mor
gan, who repulsed the duke of Parma; Louis
of KetheL who opposed Spinotta, were in
terred here. The gratitude of the inhab
itants had decreed pompous inscriptions.
as reliefs and statues to these valiants
heroes; they rested under the shadow of
great porticos cf marble; but the cannon of
1 1 47 disturbed their eternal slumber, and
mingled their ashes by breaking into their
bomb. Of all these superb monuments
there remain only a few fragments, and we
may think ourselves fortunate to be able to
make out from whence they came.
The Cat Hint and Her Neat.
N e knew of so msny cat-bird s nests
nearer home, and had such good facilities
for exanumng them in a thicket of synnga,
rose and wax-berry bushes on our pre
mises that we did not think of such a thing
as looking for them in our summer explora
tions, but we were glad indeed to linger
over one which we came acroes that
afternoon in the most retired part of the
little wilderness lbs we afterwards almost
came to look up a as our own property,
since nobody ever seemed to go there ex
cept ourselves. And this reminds me anew
of the deep satisfaction we had all through
those long June days in wandering or wait
ing in its leafy receses, where flecks of
sunlight brightened the green half -twilight
and dappled the soft floor, variegated with
fallen leaves and hundreds of shy plants
and tender wild flowers, where our only
companions were the many brooding
birds and their mates.
This cat-bird had done a marvelously
ingenious but most risky thing, in locating
her nest between two small hemlocks, just
where the tip of the outermost branch of
one lapped a bit on the corresponding tip
of the other, so that if the wind bad hap
pened to sway them ever so slightly the
result to the nest would have been the same
as if it had been left loose in space, its
foundations on nothing more tangible
than air; and it would have followed the
same law of gravitation which influenced
the falling apple made famous by Sir Isaac
Newton. Hut our wise little mend had
calculated upon such a catastrophe, and
acted accordingly, using some kind of fore
sight which we should call reasoning If a
human being had done it. It chanced that
a thin shoot of alder, tough and sinewy as
a whip-lash had grown up near by. This
the bird had seized upon as the needful
thing to make the place available. The
over-lapping hemlock twigs were made to
serve as the bottom and the walls of the
nest, on which were laid up some fibres of
dry roots and a few dead birch leaves; then
the alder had been bent down and bound
likea wi'hearound the hemlocks straining
them together, then passed around and
through the nest, in vhich two green
leaves of it were growing from the out-
tide as luxuriantly as if nothing had hap
pened to it.
The bird must have had a hard time of it
pulling the alder into place and making it
so taut, but the result was beautiful a
nest of shining green with to paler oval
leaves fluttering in iU
She had the usual number of glossy.
solid-looking eggs; and ten days later there
were five awkward, yellow-throated, gap
ing cat-linps. We afterwards saw several
nests as we followed the rive', all built of
strips of grape-vine bark, dry roots and
straw-like grass, and most of them in dan
gerous places, either on the alders which
hung over the water, where the young
stood a chance of being drowned, or so
exposed that a hawk passing alxve could
easily spy out and pounce upon the de
fenceless brood.
Old Jim Hrldsjer.
One of the most noted characters on the
border twenty years ago was old Jim
Bridger, of Fort Brider, in Utah. On one
occasion he came to New Vork. He did
not like the narrow down-town streets with
high buildings on each side, and com
plained that he had once lost his way in
"Dey Street Canon, "and been rescued with
difficulty by the police. He liked the
theaters, and expressed the utmost delight
at a performance of the "Midsummer
Night's Dream." He had no clear idea who
Shaki a ea wa,but cone j Ted and develop
ed the most extravagant aduiiration for
him.
Returning to the fort, he sold stock and
supplies to emigrants and other travelers as
in time past One day a man wished to
buy some oxen, and J tin said he could have
any except one yoke, which he had made
up bis mind to keep at all hazurds. In the
morning a messenger came to say that the
man wanted this yoke, and none other.
"He can t have em, said Jim. "There s
no use talkin', "
"Well, he wants them, and is just
a-waitin' for them," said the messenger.
He's a-settin' there, readin' a book called
Shakespeare."
"Eh ? ' yelled Jim jumping up to his feet.
Did you say Shakespeare? Here, you,
give me my boots."
lie ran to the corral.
"Stranger," said he, "jest give me that
book, and take them oxen."
"Oh, no, " said the man. "I only bought
the book to read on the way. I will give
It to you."
"Stranger," said Jim, resolutely, "jest
you take them oxen, and give me that
book." And the man did.
Jim hired a reader at fifty dollars per
month, and listened to Shakespeare every
evening. All went well, until one night,
as the reader came to a proposed murder of
the princes in the Tower, Jim sprang from
his seat, with blazing eyes, and yelled in
thunder-tones, "Hold on there! Jest wait
till I git my rifle, and I'll shoot Ihe
scoundrel I"
As one of his old "parda" justly remark-
i ea, a aincerer compliment was never paiu
to Shakespeare.
Flack Wlae.
Away back in 1853 there was a dispute
over a placer mine in Yuba river, at Park
aw, in laiuornia. Stephen J. f ield was
retained. Suit was brought before a
rfuwicc ot iuc icace iot an auegca loraoie
entry and detainer, form of action in
vogue for the recovery of mining claims,
because the title to the land was vested in
the United States. It was prosecuted
solely as a possessory action. The con
stable who summoned the jury had receiv
ed $200 to summon the parties named by
the other side. 1 his fact waa ascertained
beyond controversy by evidence placed in
the bands of air. r ield. While in bed
Park Bar hs overheard a conversation be
tween a juror and one of the opposite
parties in an adjoining tent. The juror
assured the party that everything waa flxed.
and that the jury had agreed to render
verdict in his favor. The trial was held io
a saloon crowded with spectators, most of
whom were favorable to the other aide.
In summing up Mr. Field addressed the
jury for three hours. He showed conclu
sively that his client was entitled to i
favorable verdict.
"Gentlemen," said be in closing his ar
gument, "we have not endeavored to influ
ence your verdict, except by the evidence.
W e have neither approached you secretly
nor sought to control you. We have relied
solely upon the law and the evidence to
maintain our righ' to this property. But
our opponents have not thus acted. They
are not satisfied to allow you to weigh
the evidence. They have endeavored to
corrupt your minds and pervert your judg
ment. With uplifted hands you declared
by the ever living God that you would re
turn a verhct according to law. tt ill you
perjure your souls r 1 know that you
(pointing to a juror) have been approached.
Did you spurn the wretch that made the
proposal, or did you hold secret counsel
with him? I know that you (pointing to
another juror) talked over this case last
night, for 1 overheard the conversation.
the promises, and your pledge. Canvas
nouses are as one here. Words uttered in
one are voices .In alL lou did not
dream that you were heard, but I was
there, and I know the details of the foul
bargain."
At this an ominous "click, click, click
was heard. A score of pistols were heard.
"There is no terror in your pistols, gen
tlemen," continued Mr. Field, in an thril
ling tone. "You cannot win your case by
shooting me. You can win it only by show
ing title to the property, l ou can never win
it by bribery or threats of violence. I open
ly charge attempted bribery. If it is un
true, let the jurors apeak from their seats.
Attempted bribery I say whether success
ful, or not will depend upon what may oc
cur hereafter. Jurors, you have invoked
the vengeance of Heaven upon your souls if
you fail to render a verdict according to
the evidence. If you are willing to sell
your souls, decide against us. The address
was effectual. After an absenoe of a few
minutes the jury returned a verdict in favor
of Mr. Field's client. Some admitted that
they had been corruptly approached, but
added that they were not so base as to be
influenced in that way. Within two weeks
the owners took from the placer over $ao,
000 in gold dust.
A Lasy Maa's Views
Let us analyze this lying in bed. We
maintain that, in the mere fact of lying in
bed, there is something healthy and re
cuperative to the system. The wheels of
life are oiled and eased. The proper and
legtimate purpose of stopping in bed is to
go to sleep. There is no tonic or medxine
in the world like sleep. The more sleep
the brain gets, the better does the brain
work. All great brain-workers have been
great sleepers. Sir Walter Scott could
never do ith less than ten hours. A fool
may want eight hours, ss George II L said
but. the philosopher wants nine. The
men who have been the greatest generals
are the men who could sleep at will. Thus
it was with both Wellington and Napoleon.
The greatest speakers in the House of Com
mons have been men who can go to sleep
as much as they like. This explained the
juvenility of the aged Palmerston. There
is a man who has been Atty. General, whom
I have seen bury his face in his bands over
his desk and sleep soundly nntil his own
case should come on. 'Sleep,' says the
Greek proverb, "is the remedy for every
disease. If he sleeps well he will do welL"
A friend told me that he treated himself
for a fever. He went to bed with a large
pitcher of lemonade by his side. He drank
and slept, slept and drank, and slept him
self well again. When you take to your
bed, get all the sleep you can, even though,
to quote Dick Swiveller's saying, you have
to pay double for a double bedded room,
confessing that you have taken a most un
reasonable amount of sleep out of a single
bed. You will have a whole store ef re
cuperative energy. Jbven if you cannot
sleep, still keep your bed. There is no
more pestilent heresy than that you should
get up immediately when you awake. If
it is the early riser who catches the worm,
the worm is a great idiot in rising still
earlier in order to be caught, if you do
not sleep by lying in bed, yon get rest.
You secure the fallow ground which will
hereafter produce a good harvest. Sleep
is of course the proper enjoyment for a bed.
but if you don't sleep you can lie and read.
We don't believe that the man who gets np
really learns or does more than the man
who lies ia bed. Of all the sleep in the
world there is none so good as what yeu
get ia the way of treasure-trove, after the
usual time of waking, when in point of
fact, you have given up the expectation of
getting any more sleep. As for "being
called," as the saying goes, that is simply
a relic of the barbarism of our ancestors.
We should quarrel with any man who
would presume "to call" na. One of the
main beauties of an occasional day in bed
is that you get an extra stock of sleep,
which goes to the credit side of the sanitary
account.
City.
The town of Covington, Iowa, is literally
a doomed city. Situated on the bend of
the Missouri river, the banks are gradually
being eaten away, and the ground on which
the court house stood a year ago is njw
covered by many feet of fast flowing water.
Tbe cutting away is done by flu and starts.
A week ago the current set in shore and
took off a strip of land thirty feet wide in
a few hours. No invasions were made for
another week, when another slice was cut
off. Then about half a dozen buildings
were moved back some thirty feet, and the
next day the land on which they had stood
was all irone. The citizens have tried to
moor trees and logs to the bank in tbe hope
of forming a barrier for the flood, but the
current is so swift, and the water so deep,
that these attempts have failed. To give
an idea of what the town of Covington has
suffered in the past five years, the case of
the ferry bouse and the principal hotel may
be instanced. Two years ago there were
660 feet of ground between the building
and the river bank ; now yon can toss a
tone out of the hotel window into the river
and buildings are now being put on rollers
for removal.
Ta pupil of the eye haa to be lashed.
Aaymcs Abowt Cats.
For "living a cat or dog life" the French
Bar. 'To live like cats and don :' and this
leads us to observe that many of the sar
ings which are current in one language
appear In C.hers more or leas modified.
Thus, we say "to bu a pig in a poke:
but in France, Flanders and elsewhere they
say "to buy a cat in a bag." A scalded
cat dreads cold water, just as much as a
burnt child dreads the fire ; and though
scalded cat will not go back to the kitchen,
the Spanish idea is good, "One eye on the
not, and tbeotheron the cat" The Italian
means rat when he is earnest, does not
mean cat when he is iu jest, and plays the
dead cat when he dissimulates. He calls
the cat when he speaks plainly ; he sets
about skinning the cat, when he undertakes
a hard task ; and when he sees no one he
finds neither cat nor dog. That evildoers
are caught at last, be shows by saying the
cat goes so of ten to the bacon that she leaves
her claws there. He goes to see the cat
drownded when he lets himself be imposed
on, and he cheats another when he gets
him to go and see his fish along with the
cat. Though every cat would like a bell,
the cat of Messina scratched out its own
eyes in order not to see the rats. The Span
iard, like the Italian, plays the cat when he
dissimulates, but it Is not a dead one. The
Spaniard says the cat would be a good
friend if he did not scratch, and he thinks
a cat which mews is not a good mouser.
An Italian savs one had better be the bead
of a cat than the tail of a lion; a wary Ger
man goes like a cat round hot broth, and
believes it too late to drive the cat away
when the cheese is eaten. Many believe
that a good cat often loses a mouse, that no
cat is too small to scratch, and that you
cannot keep away the cat when it has
tasted cream. The Russian thinks that
play for cats means tears for the mice ; the
Arab says that when the cats and mice are
on good terms the provisions suffer ; the
Turk tells us that two cats can hold their
own against one lion. Another Turkish
saying is, it ia fast day to-day, as the cat
aid when it could not get at the liver. The
Englishman fancies that some people have
as many Uvea as a cat that a cat, in fact,
has nine lives; yet he holds that care will
kill a cat, and that May kittens should be
drowned. He is scarcely alone in thinking
that the more you stroke a cat's bark the
higher she raises her tail in other words.
that nattery feeds vanity, lie lets the cat
out of the bag; but so do others, and they
all agree that it is in the nature of a cat
always to fall on iu feet. Only he talks of
turning cat in pan, and of raiuing cats and
dogs, or sees folk danc like a cat on hot
bricks. The Spaniard says, Has the cat
kittened ? when he sees a place full of
lights; and he asks. Who has to take the
cat out of the water? when something un
pleasant has to be done. That anyone
watches as scat a mouse, is French as much
as English. The French also say, she is as
dainty as a cat ; it is nothing to whip a cat
for ; their singers have a cat in their throat
when the throat is not clear; and the
phrase "cat music" is not unknown. If
one has a scratched fare, he has been play
ing with thecals; and an impossibility Is
a mouse s nest m a cat s ear. That people
should sometimes go like a cat over hot
coals is intelligible enough.
The Troaaers.
A pair of trousers once lay on a chair in
a boy's room.
It was night, and the boy had gone to
bed, having first thrown his jacket on one
chair, and his trousers on another, while
his stockings and shoes lay in the middle
of the floor, looking as if they were ready
for dancing.
They were asleep, however, and so waa
the jacket, but tbe trousers were awake.
and complaining bitterly of their hard fate.
'V by, they said, "were we ever made
into this dreadful shape ? We were so hap
py when we were part of the great roll of
cloth, and lay on the counter In the tailor's
shop. Then we spoke often of what we
should become when we were rut out.
"We wished to be a jacket for some nice
little girl, or a handsome coat for a tall
a. But one day the roll of cloth was
opened and shaken out. We felt cold steel
passing through us. 'Snip, snap! snip,
snap ! this is all that scissors can say, as
we know from experience.
"Then we were put under the needle of
sewing-machine and pierced cruelly,
many times. Yea, that is painful, I assure
you. And so we became trousers, and
were bought by the mother of little Frank,
who lies sleeping yonder.
"Since then, what a life we have led!
Often covered with mud from top to bot
tcm, wet through and through, stained with
berries, bespattered with ink, frozen stiff,
when our master must needs play in the
cold snow, and then scorched by being
hung too near the fire to dry. Ah ! it is a
hard ufe.
'And now comes tbe worst of alL for
recently we were forced to go through some
brambles covered with sharp thorns, which
actually tore a piece out of each knee, so
that now we are indeed a melancholy sight.
W e shall never recover from this.'
Tbe troupers sighed deeply and looked at
the jacket, hopine for a sympathetic reply.
out the jacket still slept soundly, and said
nothing.
Then the trousers were offended, and re
mained silent for the rest of the night,
though they thought a great deaL
In tbe morning when the mother came
to wake her Utile boy, she saw them lying
there, with a great bole in each knee.
"Here is a sad piece of work, she said.
Put on your shirt and jacket, my child.
and sit here on tbe table while I mend your
trousers. So you will know how it foels
to be without any, and learn to take better
care of them.
The trousers said nothing, but they were
well pleased. Soon they had a patch of
bright new cloth on each knee, and that
waa good enough for anybody.
1 his is well," they said. "It shows
what one was in one's youth." And off
they went to school.
The Boy aad the sfnakeU
A lad living in Havana brought dt wn
from tbe attic recently an old rusty musket
that bad probably been laid away there a
long time ago and forgotten. He fouud
percussion cap that fitted the tube and
placing it thereon marched about the
premises foe some time. His little sister
approaching, he pointed the gun toward
her, crving out: "1 m coing to shoot vou!
But the child frightened ran off uninjured.
The boy then hunted up tbe family dog
and leveling the weapon at him, cried out
the same words that he had addressed to
his sister. The dog didn't understand,
winked his eye, wagged his tail, but did
not move away lrom his tracks, lt was
his last wink and his last waar. The boy
pulled the trigger. He let go the- gun, or
the gun let go of him, and he found him
self a rod or two away from where he had
been standing, the ground having flown up
and hit him on the back. When he jathered
himself np the gun was found to be badly
shattered and the dog waa dead. No friend
ship exists now between that boy and
strange muskets.
BaclHrlwr HoaMr-Kevplnf;.
We suppose everybody knows what
grass-widow" means a woman living
temporally absent from her husband. We
can think of no corresponding terms to ap
ply to a man in like condition, unless it is
"grass widower." We know of one who
is just setting up his cabin on a northern
prairie, prepared for a summer campaign of
'breaking'' prairie sod. A boy of fourteen
is with him as "chief cook and bottle
washer." We feel a deep interest in their
work, particularly in the house keeping.
The boy's success or failure in cooking,
washing, etc, will bring credit or discredit
to bis mother. We have lately heard the
father inquire anxiously concerning bis
capabilities "Do you know how to cook
oat meal:" "Can you make such graham
bread as this?" "Does he understand the
knack of making dried apples eatable?"
"lou know bow mamma seasons maca
roni, don't you?" etc. Both are very fond
of milk, and if they get a cow, or find good
milk for sale close at hand, the cookine and
eating business will be simplified. Milk
iroes well with almost everything that our
folks eat, as we never use pickles, and
vinegar very seldom. To make sure of
cooking the oatmeal, cracked wheat, rice
and bouiiny, properly, they have taken
along a steamer made after the farina-ket
tle plan. They are directed to use oae part
oat meal, rice or hominy, or cracked wheat.
to t -hit parts of cold water in the inner ket
tle with plenty of water to keep up boiling
in the outer one. To secure a nix k! irrauani
bread, they have provided the best of
graham flour and dried Yeast Cakes."
The cook will set a thin sponge at niicht.
with half a yeast cake, and flour
and warm water enough to make a large
dripping-pan loaf (all they can bake at oue
time in their oven), and in the morjing he
will add sugar and grabain flour until he
has a stiff ba'ter well beaten. This will be
turned into the butter bread-pan without
kneading, allowed to rise uuite light and
then baked. It is pr tty sure to be good
every time, for the inie cook has gone
through the same movements many a time,
simply h .'lping his mother, but unconscious
ly educating himself to be a great help to
his father in this emergency, and possibly
to himself later in life.
Wodgrw Watgafchwa.
Rats and their ecceuinc freaks play no
inconsiderable part in German legendary
lore. That their passion for music will
induce them to brave the utmost peril we
have learned f ro n the Ratcatcher of Hara-
elin's" quaint narrative. Poor Bishop Hat-
to discovered to his cost what desperate
enterprises they were capable of under
taking when stimulated to strenuous efrwt
by the promptings of outraged morality
and of an inborn predilection for episcopal
flesh. Ever since they stormed that luckless
prelate's castie and picked his bones in a
highly mt-nHiraMe manner they have loved
tolin.'er in the purlieus of German b sh
ops' palaces, and cathedral cities are their
favorite abodes at least such is t!,e be
lief in Catliolic provinces of tbe Fat h rl ind.
In raderborn, it seems, tuey have est a'
lislied themselves so solidly that the muni
cipal authorities of that venerable strong
hold of the church have found it necessa
ry to adopt extreme measures for their ex
pulsion. A short time ago the Burgo
master, Herr Franksnberg, entered into a
contract with the eminent ratcatcher.
Baum, by which the latter bound himself
to deliver Paderborn of its rodent popula
tion for the pecuniary consideration of M
marks. Every facility was given to him
by the citizens; he enjoyed free access
alike to cellar and garrett, crypt and mu
niment room, anil, alter a fortnight s re
morseless campaign, during which thous
ands of victims surcembed to his skill, he
declared Paderborn to be absoluH-ly rat
less and m useless. But be had to do
ith a Burgomaster wilier than any rat
that ever wore whiskers. This sagacious
funcnonery forthwith issued a pioclama-
tion exhorting every burgess of Paderborn
still cognizant of the presence of rat or
mouse in his domicile to make declara
tion thereof at the Town Hall within lour-and-twenty
hours. So many citizens ap
peared at the Rathhaus next morning iu
response to this appeal that the Town
Council of Paderborn has been deliberat
ting eversince whether or not Kaum's fee
shall be paid to him, and, according to the
latest accounts, can not come to any divi
sion upon this knotty point. Meanwhile,
1 adcrborn, if not "absolutely rat Ies. has
got rid of at least 'JO per cent, of its rats
without disbursing a sliver. Burgomaster
FrankenlHTg is a clever man.
Aa Ice Gore Io Jnlr.
A remarkable ice gorjre exsists in Sussex
County, New Jersey, near Swartswood
Pond, in a gorge of the Blue Mountaine.
The gorge is several hundred yards in
extent, ten to thirty feet dep, with caves
and clefts in the rocks, where the ice ays ;
it is located a very short distance from the
mountain. The shade at the gorge is very
dense, the sun apparently never penetrat
ing it. The bottom of the gorge is covered
with ice, and the little caves and crevices
are tilled with it. It is a natural ice house;
hundreds of tons might be taken out with
out appreciably decreasing the whole.
Much of it has no doubt lain there for
years, the mass gradually melting and be
ing added to each year. 1 he thermometer,
which registered in the nineties in New
ton, marked 33 decrees at the botom of
this gorge, too cold for one to remain there
anv leneth of time. A few feet from one
end of tbe gorge a spring of the most deli
cious, sparkling water bubbles up. The
water iu this spring stands at 34 degrees.
Samuel Thompson, who owns the farm ou
which this natural curiosity was found, in
conversation with the reporter, said: " Why,
yes, I s'poae it is rather remarkable, but
we don t think very much about it excep.
hen we want ice. Tbe neighbors all
around goes over there for their ice."
Don't sonet It.
Say "good morning" or "gxd evening"
to the hostess, on leaving the room. "So
long, old girl has gone out, in the best so
ciety. If their are seventy-five or one hundred
persons in tbe company, it is not necessary
for you to shake bands all around.
Do not be in haste to go down to din
ner without waiting for a tardy guest.
Give him at least thirty minutes. You
may have to get down on your hands and
crawl around and feel for a lost collar
button yourself, sometime.
Upon introduction to a young lady, im
mediately ask her age and the size of her
shoes. This will put you in an easy con
versational plan.
In society, a note requires as prompt an
answer as a spoken question. And in the
bank it requires a great deal prompter
one.
Do not thank any one who waits on you
at table. Look wan and hungry, as though
you wanted more.
To tilt back in your chair and drum idly
on your head with your fork is condemned
in good society.
A stirring dwarf we do allowance
give before a sleepy giant.
Pockets are always ripe enough to
pick.
1
i,