Ullllwlw PllISIIIPl wtftJ !WllSCII
P.F.SCIIWEIEII.
THE C05STITUTI05 THE uifIOI AID THE DTFOECEMEHT OF THE LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor.
VOL. XXXIII.
MI1TLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST (5, 1879.
NO. 32.
HT.HELMBOLD'S
COMPOUND
FLUID EXTRACT
UCHU
PHARMACEUTICAL.
1 SPECIFIC REMEDY FOR ALL
DISEASES
or tub
WER & KIDNEYS.
For IVMlitr. Loss of Memory. Imllspost-i-mtj"
tit-r:n or Iiu-inew. borlness of
ra.IrouhlJ with Thought of Disease,
;;( Vision. Pain in Hie Bark. Chest,
licH-iJ. Ea& of Uloo.1 to tlie Head, Pals
i r.iewmce. and Iry Mcin.
i.'ifle symptom are allowed to CO on,
ktt InaVntly nlleptic Fits ami Con
kzfiqo foiiow. when the constitution
?-mr tfft-tt-d it requires the aid of an
srQ.nuing meiiicine to strengthen and
jur cp me system which
"Helmbold's Buchu"
DOES IN EVEBY CASE.
IS UNEQUALZD
so.t euiiiiuut iii.v,iciMui nu over the
.-.J, la
SjermMorrhota,
Xeoralgia,
Nervousness,
Dyspepsia,
Indigestion,
Constipation,
Aches and Pains,
Stwral Del.ility,
Ldney Diseases,
Lirer Complaint,
Kervons Debility,
Epilepsy,
Head Troubles,
Paralysis,
General Ill-IIealth.
vial Diseases,
Sciatica,
Drafness,
Decline,
Lumbago,
Catarrh,
I
Nervous Complaints, !
Female Complaints, &c ! So Elsie and John Francis parted, as they
1 feared, forever. When her lover found
. j that no arguments nor prayers could change
bn!!2-rila ,n ,ne Sl'on'ders, Conph. ; . I)UrDoS4. luat he had solemnly recorded
sour Moiuach. Kruptions, Jd Iltr PUTC 1 i .,
m ti,e Mouth. Palpittlon of the ; her vow to the dead, and was fully pre
"t,rslii In tlie region of the Kidneys, I T,.tTvit t nerforni it to the utterninst, even
V3'-totiJTito of her dearest hope, and
most cherished wishes, he disaprcan?d from
:the neighltorhood without a farewell to any
' who had known him.
j After a time a letter came to the parish
w.
HDlmVtAlJU TJ..mVi ,
rvl A ct "Rn rY n i
WAV O -
!
Invigorates the Stomach,
j
tw tti- , .
Xi !
i5 tri.i wil, tH. ollit, sufficient to
u.i w iirf if- rn t n vnn avan'in.
fitht mrsit K, .... ..... nf .i vuImuI.Im '
"""aiin, . Yajr yeaJ. nU( on time spun
land wove, and directed her maidens and
i her farm lalxirers, and taught and nursed
!i., lmj hem and sisters, and in all things
fil(:
K !jl PER BOTTLE Wnts they had lost.
Or Six Bottles for 5.
ol to any address free from observa-
!s,'?l4Mlt9''niycon.nlt by letter, rweiv
to.Ti MTri stientioo as bv calling, by
m3t Hie following yuestlona:
,jB!I7ronr nsme and post-office address,
""l state, and your nearest express
y jjtrri-d or single ?
Bo;'!1- ""'liU now and In health T
Boi i V"1- n,,w " neanm
t2 '.' o -n siek T J
I vr,n "ave yon iK-n siekt
'H;.. 'l'-in.eolororhairanleyesr ;
i!"Jou.i...ni. . i.
-""He .iiiw.,,' -. (
a-eon- . your cw- Knclose one dollar i
"?.n f"- Vonr letter will then j
iirri f.Liuu ii .
"ottn .i '""'"n. ana we will give you
ios eon your and our candid
.. OLirnTUin snri aaA aw.il! aviavaw wtn
ttit. . .. "liysieian-i attend to corves.
1i,Ndm1".o. " 'el'"! s ohould be addressed
Wa, !-! ' ' tllhKn treet, FliUa
O. T. HELM BOLD,
Druggist and Chemist,
Philadelphia, Pa.
LD KVEBI WiiEKK
!
i
THE OLD BARN.
Rickety, old and crazy,
Shingleless. lacking tome doors.
Bad in tlie tipper story.
Wanting boards in the floors.
Beams a r ng thick with cobwebs.
Ridgepole yellow and gray.
Hanging in helpless innocence
Over the mows of bay.
How the aiuds turned arennd it
Winds of a stormy day
Scattering the fragrant "hay-seed,
Whisking the straws away ;
Streaming in at the crannies,
Spteading the clover smell,
Changiug the dark old granary
Into a flowery delL
Oh. how I loved the oha lows.
That clung to the silent roof,.
Day dreams wove with the qniet.
Many a glittering woof ;
I climbed to the highest rafters.
And watched the awa lows at play.
Admired the knots in the boarding.
And rolled in the billow of hay.
Palace of King conldn't match t.
The Vatican loses iu charm.
When placed in my memory's ba'ance,
ilertde the old gray barn.
And I'd ra her scent the clover.
Piled in the barn's roomy mows.
Than sit in the breath of the bighlauds
Poured from the Appeo ne brows.
REUNITED.
On a wild October night, Elsie lUvmoud
u.t 1wh.1 !.. .,1 :.!.. .1 I
! tTough -in though Zt,o ....
. . 1, 1 -.
z y rT ,7 n,,oItr t!
; she sat thus, for slie was the most cheerful
: and busy of little women, the best of sisters
! .ndauntmmndtbe kindest of neighbors. This
.being the case, she found little leisure fcr
; thought or solitary musings, for, iu some
one of these relations, work enough was al-
, ways provided for her. .
! hut to-tught she seeme-d to have arnve.1
. at one of the hal .ng ptaw. ni her life. Her
.ywgMtoVhiXlbeterttegBr
had that morning Wn married. The old
gray homestead had be-n left de .late when
her smiling fac-e went fnm it, at east .
! Elsie th.ught. True, she had a tribe of
small muiliews and nieces staying with her,
, while their mother. Elsie s sister Mary, and
i her husband a-x-ompamed the bn.lal party
, on their tour, but they had ong lHn asleep
, ami there was no token of their pnc-nce in
;the s.Hiiewhat pnm-lcKfeng room, except a
, great basket .f p.aytlungs m ;rn.T, and
a row of shoes, headi-d by W illie s "new
jv-v., ' o.i .i,w. ii3- i-1;. a t;n-
i bronzed slippers, that were ranged against j
the wall.
j Elsie"s father hal died suddenly, the vic
tim of a fatal accident, and his widow, i
overwhelmed by the sad and terrible -1
innci(,w" mm " ""
dving breath she commended her youngest
cliiKirvn to the care of tl-eir older sister,
' and exacted from her a promise that she
i would devote her life to them. The"
to them. The girl
could hesitate at no demand niaile ic the i
' last feeble accents of her dving mother.
he lifted the little unconscious bale from
the feeble arms that clasped it, and holding ( ..j was l(orn ail(1 Iivf(, nlanIl(VHi in
it close to her In worn, and Io.4. mg upon the ; tIl(l nii(lst of a . thu m
tearful faces of tlie little group gat hcred j wh kh yi ,r honiC u 8jIIlatwL i was an
around that d.alh-lwl, gave the required ' ,luln; , j ,iai, a gman oom.-nee and
promise. many friends. Mv guardian ha a dauph
in an hour her innther ha.1 ci-as.tl iter whom 1 loved,"nd who a-knowledged
breathe, and Elsies life-work had 'giii. , tliat my love wasreturntiL We were lie
Hut it was not until the sad ceremonies of ! trothed, bv the cons nt of her parents, and
the funeral was over, and the little family our ww(j"nir dav was very near, when
had returns! to the desolate home, that irani misfortunes overwhelmed mv Alice.
Elsie fully comprehended all that she had
undertaken.
None who have truly loved will fail to
comprehend the struggle that for the fol
lowing weeks wctit on in Elsie's soul. It
M no s"g"t saennt-e mat
was demanded
ot Elsie; duty and love, her promise to the
d'-ad ami her vows to the living, were the
; antagonists that contested every inch of
; around. John Francis loved Elsie full well
. enough to have aided her in her life task.
; lie saw no reason in the dutii-s she had un
dertaken why she should not fullfil her
j vows, and in becoming his wife divide the
burden of her responsibilities and care,
i But she thouglit differently. She felt
that she had no right to allow his generosity
: to lead him into such a sacrifH". He was
i young, and life lay bright and long before
i him. Should she allow the sluulow of her
! care to project across the sunny path !
i Should she seek to lay upon his shoulders
ithe burden tliat weighed her down and
! drtomed her to a life of life f She could
endive and sacrifice much for the children,
' so dear to her by ties of blood the sacred
legacy of her deail Jiareiits. But to him
they were nothing, save for her sake, and
! qI.o mi.rlit have seen him crow weary and
discontented with the untimely can-s tliat
marriasre with her must throw upon him.
,l,.rinrmn to tell that he was sale, ana
aliout to ftiil for a foreign land, ai
-iwit tttjil forafoniim land, and from
tlj!it ll()uri fr 1 those twenty years, no
ii,iin of John Francis had fallen on Elsie
Raymonds tram. When she knew tliat he
was gone and would not return, she very
carefully gaiuerea logtiuer cveij nine
mento of the happy season of her love, and
EES them in tTcaskct he had given her.
Then, sternly and uncomplainingly,
tions.
tul ti I.IT life tHMk.
In time tne wounus " -
at last they ceasi-d to bleed at every touch,
and she learned to find solace in the affec
tion of her children, as she called them,
while habit made her duties light, and al
most pleasant. .
The midnight hour had already passed
when Elsie rose to retire. Her long, lonely
viihl had made her timid and nervous, and
she could hardly repress a shriek of alarm,
a? just at tliat moment a heavy knock was
heard at the outer door, and resounded
through the house.
, E! j -g onIy thouglit was oi
1M ""1" . A,nct tol ft in tliat
mons to sonic -j b -y
. . ..i.i-knnH nennle were stiuom
uuiui 7
aoroau ai me - - . rtiU
8niiling at her causeless a.arm "
i :..i.t tn ihbm iirirein 11 1 a" ,
trembling in spue ' .,
the fastenings of the door, and threw it
,..i.i,1r in
trciubling in
... la n hnr luTHVtTV. uiauau
iTuIl man, wrapped
riding cl.k, stood upon
! By the light of the flann g g-jj
held, sne couiu n ,
. ... murer look of
a
! She only saw urc -,
arv lirio-ht eves. M
stranger
bowed in answer to1' itd. as
"Madam," he said, "I am wgWed, as
you Tdin trying to reach the t
village have lost my war. lain drmeh...l
to the skin, and my home is too weary to go
iiinmsju inese miry roads, and see
ing a light here, I have ventured to crave a
shelter for him and myself, for the reuiain-
u;r 01 me night. 1 assure you that
will find nie no ungrateful guest."
you
fir, j-.isie resumed, simply, "the doors
of Raymond farm have never "been closed
to the weary wayfarer. Enter, and a ser
vant will care for your horse,"
The stranger liowed again, and passed
her silently, as she held liack the broad leaf
of the door. What was it that, at the
sight of that tall muffled form, caused her
heart to leat so wildly I She put up the
har that secured the door and then preceded
her guest to the apartment she had left.
She stirred the smouldering embers, and
threw on fresh wood, which caught the
flames that soon leaped cheerily up the
broad chimney. Leaving the stranger, cow
ering over the blaze, she went and called
the gardener to take charge of the horse
that was neiglung impatiently at the outer
gate.
Wheu she came back she busied herself,
silently, in preparing refreshment for the
stranger, who still sat beside the hearth!
casting curious glances at her as she moved
atiout. Thrill ufter thrill shot thmiiirh
r.isies irame, as sue met those bright.
L-I-: . . .77"
strange glances. She hail beguu to feel al
most frightened at his singular manner,
when he suddenly addressed her :
"Madam," he said, pointing to the row
of little shoes, and the overflowing basket
of toys, "I see that lonely as is this house,
it is not desolate. Human flowers, that
brighten so many homes, bloom here. You
have little children, beautiful and lovimr,
....I .1....I..1. ... .. 1 i .. .
: . " T , " . " '""
"""", ue auueu, ooserving tisie 8
em?U u.re I""? up
ami oown me world are wont to notice
'" j-w,the Lof
mrgtic .jimm , mt Utui
ii '':. ., ;f -,; ,
Swer Tnd E kie rfnfm rin r l '"r'
S?" "'"-.
..Thw are cfuw , , .
, hliVe m.ilher ,ius,iaiu, nor't.hiIdren . am,
!a faint sigh stnunrM up fn.ra her heart ;
M sIlt. lh;msUl oflMPl0ishi have been.
jMt lUt.a tUe me j ,
ai the kitchen d.x and showed hiulf,
slaU the wat -fr0II1 his a
sir ,llr.j to , be stra
-Your meal is prepare.!," she said:
, vou ,mve pj, Clie servant will
: sllw Vou to y'r,"
j A j bi(ldi- her pood.ni hl she
.,., awav to ut.r J.
,H.r u but n( to Through the
. lol , hllr8i UIlti, ,he autunm g,ie
r,)tls,v npon UtT p,,,,,., thiukin ,
.,, of the gtran!re mvst an niarvolin5
; W,1V mi,.,,iM Cl,nlin.miv witu
. - . . - . j
her vision of the past.
The next morning, when the breakfast
hour was passed, the stranger sHke of his
departure.
IJefnre T fit m:i(:im " lino:.!.! 4IMi.rl,l
to inf..nn you who I am, tluit you mayt
least, know von luivenot bestowed
your
kindness on one unworthy.
j "Eor twenty years I have been a wan
deriT in tlier 1aihIi a rmi! kin..lir iliMtw
,,:., .,i .,. v. I iu. h....
i... iir;i,, n,l vi,T,, n, l,.,,-. ,.f
' I o .? " I '
j tiu-n to my native shores, and the scenes of
l(.viv imDiiiness.
First her father died a sudden and terrible
death, then her mother drooped beneath
the blow and shortly followed, leaving to
Alice the care of the younger children, and
exacting from her a promise that she would
never leave them until they were all pro
vided for. I would willingly have shared
the heavy burdens that now fell upon Alice,
but she refused to bind me to her life of
toil and self-sacrifice. She laid her love
and all her bright hopes upon the altar of
duty, and I, appalled by the sacrifice and
mad with disapiointiiient, fled from the
country and became a wanderer in other
lands.
'Elsie, I promised to return when your
task was ended ! Iam here! Have you
no word of welcome after all these years of
separation ?''
He had no need to ask, for Elsie lay
sobbing in the anus opened to received her,
while the little ones looked on wonderingly;
and the old gardener to whom the secret
hail been imparted tlie night previous,
stood with clasped hands uttering ejacula
tions of thankfulness.
"Elsie, shall we ever part again "
"Never, said Elsie, with her quiet sim
plicity ; "never again until death ;" and
she looked up in his face with the old con
fiding glance that had greeted him a score
of years licfore.
Very quietly the middle-aged pair settled
down at the old homestead, which . was
lieautified and adorned by the wealth John
Francis brought from foreign lands, and
dearer far to them than any palace home,
with the store of memories that people its
dim chamliers, and all the greea demesne
which had witnessed their early joys, and
their reunion after weary years of separa
tion. Mrs. Gainp and the I nrnly Cow.
Mrs. Gamp complained of an unruly
cow. A "horned critter" that hooks
down fences and bars along Fawtucke
avenue. She was a little censorious in
the narration of her grievances to the
authorities, who gave the old lady an
audience. "I suspect," she said, taking
up a stray pinch of yellow anuff from
the old fashioned flounces of her dress,
"that thee se will go agin tne, 'oos I
don't live in a fallacious residence with
a man's head roof on it, but only in an
'umble, tumble cot, the forebode of
poverty." She paused a moment and
drew a small beer-jug from her shiny
hag. ,fYou will eggfcitse me," the
said, "if I try to compose my feelinks
with a few smelling salts." By some
absent minded mistake, the dear old
soul applied the jug to her mouth in-(
stead of ber nose, but It restored her.
"This critter," she observed, "with
brass thimbles on her horns, will hook
down anything. She hooked the pail
from the well sweep, a red shirt from
a liberty polei n(1 1 believe the peaVy
old brindle would link horns with the
moon." Mrs. Gamp was so sure of this
that she had a second Interview with
the beer-jug, with one eye shut and the
other open ilke the garish orb of eternal
vigilance, and she held the jug so long
that her body swayed under it. "I'l
have my rights," she said, "agin that
hooking cow, If I have to snatch 'etn
from the bald head of justice." And
then she let fall the jug and toddled
away, murmuring: "I believe it was
that cow that hooked my utuberrill.and
I'll have tne law on her or knock her
horns off." ' ' ' - '
A Terrible Disaster.
Recently the passenger train south
on the Keokuk division was liftl.ig it
self right off the rails. She was run
ning so fast the noise of the wheels was
rattling along about two hundred yards
behind the train, doing its level best to
keep in sight but losing ground every
jump. Suddenly the train stopped.
Away out between stations, no cattle
on the track, no water tank in sight.
nothing apparently to stop for. She
pulled up so close to an orchard that
the farmer came out and sat on the
fence with a gun in bis hand and a cou
ple of bold, bad dogs, . looking deceit
fully pleasant taggi ng along at h is heels.
He evidently didn't care about setting
up the "apples. The passengers were
al&rmed, not at the determined neutral
ity of the farmer, but at the sudden
stoppage of the train. They knew
something serious had happened.
Presently th fireman came walking
down alongside the track, looking care
fully, as though he had dropped his
dianiong ring out ot the cab window.
"What is it?" asked the first passen
ger. "What is the matter?" aked the se
cond passenger.
"What has happened?" asked the
third passenger.
"What bruke?" asked the fourth pas
senger.
"Why did we stop?" asked the fifth
passenger.
."What's up?" asked the sixth pas
senger. "What's broke loose?" asked the sev
en tli passenger.
hat done
it?" asked the eighth
passenger.
"Broke a
spring hanger," gravely
replied tlie fireman, and passed on, and
all the questioning passengers drew
their heads back aud closed their win
dows, and with great gravity was re
peated the fireman's statement to the
other passengers who had not been able
to get to a window in lime to ask the
fireman anything:
"Broke a spring hammer.
"Broke a sling hammer."
"Broke a screen hanger."
'"Broke a string hammer."
"Broke a Eting ander." j
"Broke a scene hannet."
"Broke a steam hammer."
"Broke a swing hanger." J
We "all supposed that when a spring
hanger broke, it just tore the engine all
to pieces, stood it on end and rammed it
into the ground, and then ran on ahead
tore up the track, set tire to a bridge
and blew up a culvert. The average
passenger has an idea that a spring
hanger owns about the whole eugiue)
that it is one ot those things that can
even swear at a brakeman and walk- nji
to a baggageman and call him a "wood
en headed, flat backed, trunk lilliu'
hurricane of wrath,'' and consequently
when a passeuger is told that the spring
hanger broke, he has an impression
that it will lake every last dollar there
is on the train to set the old thing up
again.
A Bad Rcara.
During a residence in Peru, business
took me in the neighborhood of Sara
yacn, and having several days of leisure
before me, I determined to visit a local
ity which in that part of the world Is
considered celebrated.
Xothing more attractive than the
neighbors can be conceived. It is,
perhaps, as picturesque a spot as any
on the globe silent, fresh, myster
ious and surrounded by a mass of trop
ical vegetation of the most magnificent
character. The river which flows at
hand, is lovely, the water limpid and
tempting; but I was soon made aware
that bathing was out of the question,
the place being literally crowded with
caimans and alligators of the most hid
eous aspect, which hang under the
overhanging boughs to capture the un
wary and incautious.
Scarcely a month passes without
some tearful accideut occurring, aud
while I was there, a huge monster
snapped up a beautiful girl, who was
stooping to fill a gourd of water.
I myself should have run a great rUk
but that having been warned, during
my stuy at the mission, I collected all
the idle boys In the village and' set
them to watch the banks and shout,
which they did to such an extent as
even to alarm the most ferocious au-
rians to a distance.
I was most kindly received at the
mission, and invited to make the con
vent my home during the whole of my
stay.
The convent is a square building with
two wings. The principal reception
chamber, w hlch is also the refectory,
stands in the midJle, while the side
squares are divided into rows of cells,
six of which are occupied by tlie monks
and their friends while the others are
used as entrepot, shop, cellar and
barn.
It hapiened that on my arrival the
mission was full, and at first the good
fathers were puzzled how to dispose of
me, when I myself-proposed to sleep in
church. This chapel, which is dedi
cated to the Virgin, is, though very
small, divided into a nave and two
chapels. The place was ventilated by
means of four windows without glass
or shutters, which enabled the air to
pass freely.
In a climate as hot as that of Peru,
this did not, at first sight, appear any
inconvenience. I therefore unrolled
my thin cotton mattress, the ccustsnt
companion of my travels, and prepared
my bed. Having ridden a considerable
distance, I was fatigued, and so, after
partaking of a very hospitable supper,
I retired to my couch In search of re
pose. Vain delusion.
1 might have slept ten minutes, when
1 was awoke by a strange noise. J rose
sitting, and found the place in total
darkness. Xow, I had carefully trim
med the lamp before lying down, and
added a supply of oil, but somehow or
other it bad gone out.
Groping my way, I strove to feel for
the lamp, but to my surprise could not
discover it, while a ftrange flapping
noise made me aware that 1 was not
alone.
Now I am not exactly a coward, but
It would be vain for me to deny that I
felt somewhat uneasy. Ghosts I did
not for one moment believe in, hut the
Indians of the village did not bear the
best character for honesty.
"Who comes?" I cried in the native
dialect.
Xo answer.
I recollected having removed from
the head of my bed a broom, which was
very much in ny way, and determined
not to be robbed with impunity, I
struck right and Iclt.
At this moment the moon came out
from behind a cloud in all its glory.
The secret was out.
Through the open window a number
of night birds, owls, bals and many
others unknown to tediperate climes,
had come in search of food. The oil
smelling very powerfully had attracted
their notice.
Their first proceeding was to snuff
out the light with their wings, after
which one and all rushed to banquet on
the savory liquid.
My indignation was so fully aroused
that I struck wildly in every direction,
nor did I rest until every bird was
forcibly expelled.
1 lay down again to get what slumber
I could, but when, next day, the ques
tion of sleeping arose, I strongly ob
jected to pass the night in a place with
an open window.
A Telephonic Put-rurri.
Tbe telephone has kicked up a hi- row
in the b-Mom of two families already, and
that harmless-appearing instrument is the
prime cause of a young man going about
with his eyes draped in deep mourning and
a hiimnlitt.-L.xl rn ib. It o.riia tl.ut vj.ump
man whose marriage is of such recent date
......
uuu ins uoneynioon is not vet on the wane,
conceived the brilliant idea of connecting
. . .... . . . 71
mt "Power oi love wun bis place oi busi -
.1.... 1 ...:.,i.. 1 i.;L
"I..":- . .
menis in saving sweet tilings 10 uis newiv -
acquired more valuable fraction. By one
of those singular coincidents which fate
often throws iu the path of unfortimate hu-
mans of all class-s, there happened to be
nntnou-n tn the vnnmr man on flie (mine
circuit another family the husband being
the proprietor of a front name the same as
thai of the newly-wedded man. And the
fact of the twomcmliers of their stations
having a similarity of sound when called
r-nAwi t- i..i ...ir n,.tt..r. .... n,i n
-.. .1 , ni.K- f .p . f... .I.. .n.i ti?
young couple had" held some vjry inten-st-
:..-T-.:.. .,.i.... l .i.. ,i;..
tal mistake was made which led to such
terrible results. Husliand the secimd was i
an extremely practical man and was cliiof
e igineer of a grocery store. ' His telephone i
. u ,ki m kin .i.-b .n.l ii.o ,i,,i
( ivy. is.av va v aaaa uirnf wiU suv viuv.i
iw-' .it i j
his soul was absorle.L while his mind
wrestled with the problem of how much 7
4-5 pounds of codiL-h amounted to at 37J
cents per poun.L the signal was sounded
and there came wafted over the wares:
"John dear, haven't vou time to love me
a little 1 am so lonelv."
John's eves looked as if they did mil lie -
lieve his ears. IK-hadn't heard anything
like that U fore in fifteen years, and he
didn't propose to in fifteen years to come,
so he grablied the telephone and curtly ans-
wered
"Shet your darned yawp! I haven't got
no time to lie foolin' with you now."
Eldora, wife nunilier one, was consider
ably taken aback at what she supposed was
an evidence of the cooling love of her John
and she resolved to get even with him
when he came to tea.
Meanwhile, John, poor soul, had been
switched off, and breathing his words of
undying affection to the wife of the elder
John. The lady had been somewhat as
tonished at first, but thinking that her bus-
hand was growing affectionate again, as in !
days of yore, she began returning suitable
answers, and was highly enjoying a repe
tition of her old courting days, when hrr
John came in unnoticed by her, and quiet
ly stationed himself where he could hear
her remarks. He was soon re wanna i.y
hearing her shriek into tlie telephone after
the usual manner of the ladies:
"Yes, love, and I am just dying for
some of those sweet kisses you promised
me when you return."
He waited to hear no more; but snatch
ing the telephone he quickly investigated
the location of the sender, tore out of ills
house and down the street, rushed in Uon
John the junior, whom he found trying to
ascertain what the matter was at the other
end, and without waiting for preliminary
remarks, grasped him by the coat collar
and slung him over a stool where the bridge
of his nose came in contact with the rim of
a coal hod, bunged up both eyes and then
demanded an aology.
As soon as John could catch what little
breath was left around loose, and recovered
somewhat from his surprise, he said :
"There must be some terrible mistake."
Then explanations followed, the two
husband called first on Eldora whom they
found sitting in the hallway with a band
box in her lap and weeping hysterically. As
soon as she was calmed and reassured, the
wife of John senior was sought and found
sitting staring in a dazed sort of way at the
telephone, not able to understand what the
matter was.
The two Johns then and there resolved to
banish the telephone from their families
forever, and that is the reason the company
lost two suliscrilHTS, and a butcher sold two
pounds of lean beefsteak to a sad looking
man leading a companion with a handker
chief bound around his eyes.
A Valuable Heirloom.
A few days ago there died in the
town of Vernon, Winneshiek county,
Iowa, an aged farmer named Carpenter
who left a will bequeathing to his son
an old chest that had been an heirloom
in the family. On opening the chest
the son was surprised and incensed to
find that it contained nothing of value.
He so reported to the remaining mem
bers of the family, when Ihey persuaded
him to make further Investigations,
which he did in taking the chest apart
In doing so two cleats, each half an
inch thick, and perforated with auger i
holes, were discovered. Tearing off
these cleats, the young man found that
they were hollow, and that the space
between the lid and the bottom of the
cleat had been filled w ith gold coins
by the thoughtful parent, now long
they had been stored In such a singular
manner in that old chest is a mystery.
Be not too prodigal : the kettle when
too tu'l puts out the fire.
A Kaffir Marriage.
The wedding was at a kraal about two
miles from the camp. Shall I ever forget
that drive, as we jolted over stones and
"shaved" ant-hills, and bumped in and out
of holes, the mules all the time going at full
gallop, till we really expected that the cart
would turn over with us every moment ?
As we approached the kraal, our ears were
greeted by the shrieks, yells and howls of
the wedding party ; and, on surmounting
a ridge of ground, we came upon a com
pany all in "full fig," practicing one of their
dances. The men wore large plumes of
black feathers, which covered their heads
and hung down over their shoulders. They
had shields covered with cow-hide, and
carried sticks, which they waved and bran
dished in a very warlike manner. They
were continually in motion, stamping,
grunting and shouting, and at last fell into
a kind of procession, which moved on to
ward the kraal, dancing all the way. Every
now and then some warrior, more than
usually excited, would hurst from the ranks, I
and bound with a hiirh stepping action.
several yards in advance. He would then
stop, and with queer antics and strange
gyrations, would go through the motions of
killing his antagonists, continuing them
amidst the plaudits of his companions till
they caught him up, when he would fall in,
only to be succeeded by an excited rival,
eager to equal if not to outdo liiuu Tlie
two sisters of the bride, elegantly attired in
a few rows of green, white and pink beads,
accompanied this jovial crew, slirickingand
racing aliout as if possessed. The father of
the bride was there, too, distinguishable
from the other "braves by the extra length
of his tail of feathers, which hung from the
top of his head and reached all down his
back. As this interesting company pro
ceeded, they were met by women in pairs,
all dressed (f) alike in the same charming
j simplicity, who ran to m
at the top of their voices and making a most
peculiar tremulous shrill noise, which re-
,m.n,Ud. mc I!! ' 'neighing" than any
thing else. I uese leu into the ranks, as
ditl a large company of young girls and
children, who all rushed to meet the pro
cession, yelling as loud as they could and
,i...,,5,uu .uejr eim.u au
.. ".W'litIC'.,en,e,,t- l?
" " ' " ""J";
Sort of riAi'H ull IwkifMr nnn at.n firwunl at
, ' i "
! the. 8iu,,e raising their shields,
ttnvin.r a (damn unit iretl uni u nn till
! ' ' " " ,
1 they got to a sort of purade ground in front
of the kraal, where tliev drew nr. in line
! . , , -- -e -
:wo or "T Ut-,P and continued the stamp-
' !"S am l'"'Dg. waving of arms, position -
a.ml a" the ,otl,,T nuuueuveny accom-
Pan)'lnS themselves by a song, which con -
aisled in tlie perpetual reiteration of three
"ole8 "" m,nor 1 nave ascertained
' 1 ,at th,s ,1,1,"e. ,9.,tnc same. wl,'c1' ' used b-v
j ,WMn on wnular occasions. The bride,
1 8Urrouu,'''' '') whole beyy of sisters and
yPthizing friends, knelt on a mat facing
' the dancers and held a shield and a knife in
! ut band. Her dress consis ed of beads ar-
j rttn1si'd w1i,b S" ,a9tf "nJ, ber hair
elaborately p up with the brass wire
was
and
" l"c Ptr,"u- ,lual enter-
uint'a 08 ,1C n'on wa ,1,e bIase' contemp-
tl,OU3 exprtiwitm of h-r countenance, whi h
was eTI,k-ntly the highest mode for Kaflir
brides to assume.
1 mmm
1ZL
Henry Hutching, small, weak and ex -
' ceedingly nervous, was a pitful object as ho
appeared at tlie bar of the Police Court.
j He had been arrested for something, but
; he knew not what, on somebody's coin-
plaint, and he was filled with an undefln-
1 able fear for the future. Suddenly, the
j name of his wife, Hattk- crow.ied "in his
ears, as His Honor called her to the bench,
! and he sank Uck on the railing for sup-
' port.
"lour wife charges you with assaulting
anu ai.anu .ning ner nenry uat nave
you to siiyf asked Justice Murray.
- .vn-mucii, sir, siuuereu nenry.
"You'd Iwtter say not much, sir.
Said
Hattie, leaning over him like a storm cloud.
"1-1 don't, only I-I did-didu't assaul'
you."
His knees were getting weak.
"What I" she shriekl, as she towered
at Hive him in her wrath, her black eyes
flashing and her cheeks blanched. "You
didn't assault me, you intolerable little
whelp. You didn't abandiug me an' you
didn't tell mc that you on'y took me
for
luck and got stuck ou your bargain, you 1
little red headed cuss, youf
"X no. Hat Hattie, I-I on'y " !
"Didn't you try to murder me, you imp i
' darkness, by shyin' a broad axe at me
an' nearly bnke my skull J"
"It d didn't hit you." i
"Xo, but you'd w ish it had, you blood- '
thirsty affliction, you " j
"An it was m my b broad hatchet
an I I was on'y t takin' it away w
when you j jerked it ou out o' m
my
ban . I ihdii t ui mean
iouumui.,.. J '"'; the difference N-tw-n the cost and the Could you have ls-aten him by n.-rf.-for
anything. Too mean to live, aud, ugX , rice M . ,,ut it waj) us. . Ue gtnnsvT I Umn v()(dill ,
I don t know how I ever conie up with , liariv ,ike to t-rk , t!lat. I
such a homd creature anyhow "There's your five cents," left the store, know what I can do, of course, but it
' Hold on, Madame, said his Honor. T,.n le dme!liAf usini? Wl(rd!j like COI1. j wouJ not ite ,e ri ,,, ,ui ,
"It strikes me that you have a very strong ! founj it W(H.U'llMfcL nui!ian(.ts etc, re- j too much about it. Elliott is a gi.al man,
vocabulary at your disposal. i tllrne(1 to le ,,, of crtlW(1 f frionJs m
as I said before.
"I never had any cavalry at my disp, al, j ie of tlle 9llre who Wl.re Uuglia.. i ,s he letu.r than , -onTim.y ,
a" , . , , . ... I themselves sick over his trouble. i I should say that the two men are verv
"i7 -T" s',lre.,now,t.!"1,Ib.r J'OU ' i "Why, that's old " said they, he's as : nearly equal. Each pushed me to al.i.
I I swear to it on tuis ltil.le. I M an Vou fc1J u (1)e exU,m ani , thinh m, a
th, d-dear n.-mc. Xow she s agom . d . vuM w
io is a. iin iii 1 1 ruipiiirv mMikaMl I iinrr 1 T ?" t J
'7 , 77 , 1 Y x w :.
, ii , . , .
munler and he hung his head.
"i ou'll have to give f ."00 bail to appear
for trial, Henry, said His Honor.
"H-how much," asked Henry.
"Five hundred dollars.'1
ili ,1. .1 .. !.... ' 1. '
tmi, unir, i ean uerer aei mm, ur ;
groaned as he was led away by two oflic-
ers. Hie passed down and out a deter-1
mined, terrible specimen of the women ,
who "am t agoin to let any man rule her. '
Xo, sir, not by a jug full."
The man Imperial's WIlL
The text of the Prince Imperial's will
has been produced for publication. It is
written in French. The following is a
translation :
Done at Camden Place, Chisclhurst, the
ft..!. .1.... I i.' 1 ill" II
iiin ua ill .in imi .-. joi... i
This is mv will !
1. I die in the Catholic Apostolic 8nd I ba.1 his pet arrayed in p.umage nl was 8hall ever mect him, but 1 should 1 will
Roman reli-ion in which I was born ' chanu",!? to beholiL L nfortunatcly, the . in , ana to Uo at any niiimte.
ljSjM 'TMl1 'ft.9 I hatistllerailical diffeUce Utween
near that of my father, pending the time i few wetk,8- ,he i Z -tUb,rJ y" J'le and the English pnftio,nd
when they shall Mh lie tranVrte.! toto fl"en 8" u "8 cfulDS Istylef
.1, tli founder nf onr house renoses in rongly put. He has none of the endur-. -at U very har J to explain. Perhat
the midst of the French people, whom we
have, like him, dearly loved.
3. My last thouglit will be for my
country. It is for France that I would
wish to die.
4. I hope that my mother will preserve
for me, when I am no more, the affection
ate memory which I shall cherish for her
until my last moment.
5. Ixrt my private friends, my servants
and the partisans of the cause which I rep
resent be convinced that my acknowledg
ments toward them will only end with my
life.
6. I shall die with a sentiment of pro
found gratitude toward her Majesty the
Queen ef England, toward all the royal
family, and toward the country where I
have received, during eight years, so cor
dial a hospitality.
I constitute my well-beloved mother, the
Empress Eugenie, my sole legatee, she
beiDg charged with attendi ng to the follow
ing legacies:
I leave 2OO.000 francs to my cousin,
Prince J. X. Murat.
I leave lOO.IXW fraws to M. le Baron
Corvisart, in acknowledgement of his de
votion. I leave 100,000 francs to Mile, de Lar
minat. who has always shown herself so at
tached to my mother.
I leave luo.Qou francs to M. A. Filou,
my old tutor.
I leave 100, Out) francs to M. E. X. Con
neau ; lUO.OOU francs to M. X. Espinasse ;
100,000 francs to Captain A. Bizot,
oiliest friends.
ny
I desire that my dear mother shall pay a
pension for life of 10.IHMJ francs to Prince
E. L. Bonaparte ; a life pension of 50O0
francs to M. Bachon, my old equerry, and
a life pension of 2.)h francs each to
Madame Thierry and to Uhlmann.
I desire that all my other servants be
never deprived of their situations.
1 desire to leave to Prince X. Charles ; past one o'clock the whistle blew. The olJ
Bonaparte, to the Duke du Bassano and to nian waltzed up to the room and knocked.
M. Houlier three of the most beautiful "Turn out," says he, "boat's just whis
souvenirs that my testamentary executors tied. Dress yourself and come down."
shall indicate. " J Well, the fellow sung out that he wasn't
I desire to leave also to General Simmons, ' going.
to M. Strode and to Monsicnor GoddanL
three souvenirs that my testamentary ex
ecutors shall designate among the articles
of value that belong to me.
1 leave to M. F. Pietri my pin panted
with a stone (cat's eye, and to M. Corvi
sart my pin (perle rose) ; to Mile, de Lar
minat a medallion containing the portraits
of my father and mother:
mv father and mother: to M illume
Ijbreton mv enHmrletl wnteh ornament.!
with mv cipher in diamonds ; to M. M.
Conneau, Espinasse, Bizot, J. X. Murat,
A. Fleury, P. de Bourgoing and S. Corvi-
UI?()rm eX(pt ,he
last that 1 may have worn, and that 1 leave
to my mother.
I leave to M. D'Entraigues a pin mounted
with a fine pearl, round in form, which was
J given me by the Empress.
I beg of my mother to be so kind as
.. .- mrinf m
lifetime have manifested attachment toward
me some jewels or objects
J
of less value
which ma v remind them of me
-
I Mir. til llAilnni Is Imtntiifla llurff m v
n; ,.,,,,,,,.0,1 - ;ti,
P mounted with
fine clear pearl ; to the
1,uc ue "Uesrar, my COUsin, my
opanisa
i,.i, i;n...i v .
, " v
1 The whole of this is written by my own
hand
1 I have 110 need to recommend my mot lie
, to neglect nothing in order to defend the
memory of my great uncle and of my father. best old man in the world," added the tour
I beg her to remember that, so long as ist, meditatively.
there shall be ISouapartista, the Imperial j The cigars smoked on in silence a
cause will have representatives. The duties moment or two, and the traveler broke out
of our house toward the country will not ' again.
cease with my life. At my dea'th the task "CMd man always wears a silk hat," h
of continuing the work of Xapoleon I and ' said. "That is he always keens it stand-
, Xapoleon III devolves upon the eldest n
i of Prince Napoleon, and I hope that mv
weu-neioveu moiiier, in seconuing nun wun
all her power, will give us who shall lie no
! more this last anii supreme pnjof of her
affection.
i (Signed) XaPCLEos.
t
I tl. t. c t ti ..a f
hurst,
1 I nominate Messrs. Rouher and F. Pietri
, executors of mv will.
I Bv F. Pietri, I mean Franceschini
Pietri.)
j -
The i,f Man and the Prnsauu
'
j Thf otllur ,,:lv a gentlemanly appearing
I 1i::,ii -,..V.i ," .,:,
' . " ., , ' ' , " JJj Vniirirti!
drug stores and presented a
over the signature of a weil-known phvsi
cian. The druggist immediately proceeded '
; , put it in raance with hieroglyphic
directions. When he had finished he
i..i.i ti. n.i..t. . L . , ti,
' ..I,...,.- vitl, i. ,,lnadint
lur"
"Twenty-five cents, p ease,"
"The man received the prescription,
went down in his pocket, pulled out five .
mnla lui.1 !t fin tl fniintup ..Mil atiirfi,! t.
go out.
"Say, there," said the druggist, "you've
made a mistake ; twenty-live cents." j
"All right," was the reply, "five cents;
. , ... .
there it is.
"That's only five cents," was the re-.
joinder. "Twenty-five cents I want." -
"I tell you there it is five cents there'
it is," and the man walked toward the door, j
Then the druggist getting angrv, came
, from behind the counter and tapping the , Did he try to copy your style as was re
man on the shoulder, yelling: (ported.'
! "My frieml, the price is twenty-five i Yes, I suppose so, at least he tried the
cents!" i lung slide which I iw eight inches longer
j "What do you take me for.'" was the ! than the kind they use in England and
i response ; "I ain't no fool. There's your , adopted the new kind of row-lucks. He
.five cents on the counter: Five cents 1 tried to row a long stroke, but his style haJ
there it is. ! something of a chop in it after all. But he
y me more attempt was made to explain
'gist, "I ve got his nickle aud maile three
cents on tlie prescription anywav.
1
A Canary Bird's New rinmaee.
!
dlSCOV-;
The owner of a canary bird has
. ., , , r t ....I
ered a mt'lliod OI lieautllyiug UIS Sweet lit-i
tie ginger, but, for the sake of binls of this j
kind, this paragraph d.M S n n-omniend I
the discovery. One day a cat sprang at j
the canary. Tlie bird escaiiL but with
the loss of its tail, which puss completely
aiuputateiL A new tail grew, antl it was
wonderfully beautiful far superior to tlie
ohljone. The bird owner immediately took
the hint, and plucked out the feathers of
the canary's head, the pugnacious little
thing pecking him furiously during the
operation. The new feathers that came
were much prettier than the eld ones, and
.. ... , ...
IollowlDS oul nis Plan wie mru owntr a
11 ron Rothschild's Maxima.
Attend carefully to details of your busi
ness! Be prompt in all tilings!
Consider well, then decide positively!
Dare to do right ! Fear to do wrong!
Endure trials patiently!
Fight life's battle bravely, manfully !
Go not in the society of the vicious !
Hold integrity sacred!
Injure not another's reputation or busi- i
ness I
Join hands only with the virtuous!
Keep your mind from evil thoughts!
Lie not for any consideration !
Xever try to appear what you are not !
Observe good manner !
Was He Very Mad ?
"Were you ever at McGregor, Iowa t"
asked the commercial traveler.
"Xo," we said, "we have never been
there."
"Well," the citizen of the world replied,
turning the seat in front of us that we
might pile our feet upon it, "you want to
go there just to meet one of the famous
hotel keepers of Iowa. I4d Flanders. All
the boys know him; everybody stops with
hiin. Must particular man about caring
for his guests you ever saw. Give him an
order and you can go to sleep without a
tremor; he'll attend to it. Xever bail a
man at his house miss a boat or a train.
j Atten.ls to all lh calls himself. Well, one
' traveling out of. Chicago for a notions house
' stopped with the old man and told him
; that he wanted to go up the river that
: pjbt on the boat 'All riirht,' savs Flan-
ders, '111 call you.'"
j The young chap went to bed and Flan-
. tiers, careful as usual, sat up to wait for
j the boat and help his suest off. About half-
1 es you are, said i landers,
'you told
me you were.
"Yes, I know," says the traveler, "but
I've changed my mind, and won't go uj
till morning."
"By thunder," roared the old man,
"you'll go up now."
"Xo, I tell you," said the young chappy,
"I'm going to wait till morning, and go up
oa the train.
j 'B.' heavens," yelled the excited laud
,,,rJ "J1 are S"'"S UP tonight by boat '.
I've sat up half the night to call vou, and
send you off, and off you go ! You climb
out of this room nw before I kick the
door in on you ! "'
Well, there was no help for it. Tbi?
young fellow grumbled aud dressed and
I wondered what manner of man the land-
to'Iowf - VT t03Hh".r "V
! oui anu tney nustleo down to me landing
! tne bo?t w about re.ad? . to b-k
I ?ut- Sure a fate, if she wasn't going down
" UV- young iciiow openeu
: hi. ..Wllltl. ... nn.t.u, 1....
-V Hu IT . riwl iKi. i il . I nn
' .... .....
j lj-
had him by the
"Xot a word," he roared; you said you
wanted to go on the boat and, by thunder,
on the boat yon go !"
And he waltzed him up the plank,
chucked his bag and duster after him
and down the river he went. But he's the
: ing on the otflce counter" unt il he hears a
boat whistle, then be gratis it un. clans it
on bis head, and shoots out ot the office
like uiad. Well, one dav he bought a new
' hat. Glossy as light itself, stylish sha;e,
white satin lining, just the tone. Hesetir
! down on the counter as usual, and some of
; tli hova nailpil it riht down to tht roimtpr.
j tight as wax. lYetty soon, whoo-oo-oo!
, txat wbistlel up the river, the old man
j grabbed his hat, yanked it off at the top
and '""ed awav wilh the Wngetl edg.'S of
. the lining fluttering out of the top of his
tile, and he never knew a thing aliout it
until he came bark to the office and his
i e-ves feI1 on tue toP of ms ncw
' tl "-
1 - , .. ....
tne traveler paused Here and looKen out
oi me wiiHiuw. we Kni .
44W ho Vtrv mull V
The traveler looked at us.
"Young man," he said, ''I'll tell you
what he said, word for wonL if you'll
i promise Solemnly to put it in your paper."
: wouMll t promise, the travele'r was olwti-
,i ,. n.r.i -,..i ,i..'t
t '. wha, nnuuU tlie olj nlan M.
upon to make. We can only guess at their
general nat lire, and we are never very good
at guessing.
Uanlan. Kriuraof the VirtorlouoCanailiau
Oarsman.
What do you think of Elliott '.
He is a thoroughly good man, one of the
liest I ever met. He is much stronger than
I am, but he does not use all his strength to
good puruosc.
is a g'xxl man.
Is there any chance of
any clianee oi your rowing
Courtney again !
I I don't know, there has lieen some talk
'about it, but n.thing definite is derided yet.
and so far as I know, is not likely to lie
yet. I am ready to row him or any one else.
Ifiiw ulioiit tlie niee at Ijirliituir Dili
.... .o,w.t .1 irt ,f t,;,.lun
i)t for an jIW,ant. 1 " believe that he
ved for all tliat he was worth, and tliat
he vas on bii merits. Hwafar
., i,-.r, t ..!
What do they say of Tricke't the Aus
tralian in England t
They generally seem to think that Elliott
is the better man of the two, but it is very
difficult to say. Both are good men.
Trickett has lost a finger, I believe hail it
smashed off by a barrel of beer but il
does not interfere much wilh his rowing,
if it interferes with it at all. I do not know
whether he will come here, or whether
I
' it is thai I do not trouble myself to do the
j work at any particular part of the stroke,
j Long, light and clean is my motto. I get
as long a stroke as I can, and I row it out
equally all the way through. I do not pull
harder at the beginning than I do at the
middle or at the end, but maintain an
I equal strain throughout. It is a long,
! steady sweep, without jerk.
I In the race with Elliott who rowed the
! most strokes a minute?
i I did. He rowed a long stroke, but I
rowed a longer longer, lighter and cleaner
and I put more of them in.
Was Elliott exhausted after the race.
Xo, not specially so. He was strong
: enough and rowed hard the whole way.
j How was it then you beat him so easily i
j Well (with a light laugh), I guess il
must have been because I rowed the faster.