The Ventilation Fiend. He dresses alwaajt In a manner pe culiar to bis tribe, does the fresh air Idiot. He wears two pair of woolen stockings and heavy cork soled boots; two suits of flannel underwear, a chamois cbest protector, a double knit jacket, a woolen vest, lined pantaloons that weigh about eighteen pounds and are as impervious to air as a rubber blanket; a double-breasted coat, fur gloves and a seal-skin cap pulled down over his ears. Thus attired, it is the delight of bis one ideal soul to meet you some bracing September morning, and regard with a fixed stare and wild howl of derision, you in your Fall suit and light overcoat- "Off with it, man," he yells, smiting his chest with his buried hands. "Off with HI Why, bless my soul, I haven't worn an overcoat for more than ten years. What do you want with an overcoat? Brace up, in hale the fresh air; fill your lungs with it, till it makes your nerves tingle with natural, health-giving, glowing warmth." And be tries to drag you off for a bleak walk down by the edge of the river, and it is all you can do to get away from him, and when you do, he goes off sneering at men who can't stand a litttle bracing November air and have to muffle up in overcoats, and as he goes perspiring down the street, you know that if you muffled up in half the amount of raiment he carries, you would smother in a minute. He bangs in upon you in your office. You are cosily fixed at your work, lou have on a light office coat and your slippers, and your office is warm and comfortable. In conies the man with the ventilation hobby, fresh from out doors, muffled to the ears, as usual, "Whoof!" he 6norts, looking wildly around him, "what an oven! Don't you know you are killing yourself in here? Whew ! This air comes from a lime kiln. It dries up my lungs like parchment." And he leaves the door wide open and a torrent of icy wind rushes in and bathes your slippered feet in a chill that doesn't leave them for a week; he goes across the office and opens a window on your back that makes you shudder hours after you are asleep that night; he closes the drafts and opens the stove door, aud then sits close behind it, out of the draft he has opened on you, and tells you how warm and how comfortable he is, and how he never permits his room to get so hot as yours when be came into It. He deluges you with his twaddle about fresh air and ventilation, and doesn't go away aud let you make yourself comfortable until he has caught you a cold that will stick to you all Winte cost you $295 for medical services, and then kill you in the Spring. He sits down beside you in the railway car as he sees you take off your overcoat, makes you set next to the window, and then opens it on you. If he hears you cough, he tries to pull off your muffler. He runs his fingers down your back to see if you wear fiannels, and howls bis discovery in derisive accents to the by standers, and makes you feel uncom fortable and effeminate. He pursues you with chilling draft and icy deluges of east wind. He is a nuisance of nuisances. Wicked men swear at him, Christians hate him, and humanity fears him and would like to kill him. Bow to Learn to Swim. Every boy and girl 6hould learn to swim. A writer in the American Agri culturist offers the following sugges tions, by obedience to which the art of swimming may be readily acquired. When I was a boy, I learned to 6wim by means of a swimming-board. This is the safest method possible. If corks are used, they may slip from around the breast down beneath the body, throw ing the head below the surface, and putting the wearer in danger of drown ing. Some country boys get two bladders and then tie them together with a sort of cord, and use these as sup ports. They are the most dangerous things possible for a boy to have. The board is perfectly safe, and one may learn to swim in a very short time by using one. It should be over four feet long, over a foot wide, and two inches, thick, made of soft white pine or cedar. To use it, a boy wades into the water up to his shoulders then, taking hold of the end of the board, he pushes it before him towards the bank, and not into deeper water springs forward with his feet, and throws himself flat upon the water. This movement carries him along a few feet. He then draws op both bis legs at tne same time keeping the knees as far apart as pos sible, and theu strikes out with both feet, not straight backward, but side ways, just as a frog does. The stroke is made slowly, and is repeated again, drawing up the legs slowly and stead ily. The board keeps the head above water. When the leg-stroke has been learned, one hand is taken from the board and the stroke learned, or the chin may be rested on the board, while the stroke is taken with both hands. This is a very good plan, as it compels the swimmer to keep bis hands under the water, which he should always do. By-and-by, the board may be pushed ahead, and the young swimmer may swim after it, always keeping it within reach. When a number of boys go to swim, they should always have two or three of these boards with them for use in case of any accident. Over Eating. If the food is wisely chosen ihere is not much danger of over eating. Dr. Beard says: "It is a fallacy to suppose that people, as a rule, eat too much, and that most of the diseases of the world come from over feeding. The truth is that among all decent or civilized peo ple the tendency isdirectly the reverse. In this country, and especially in our large cities, far more are under fed than over fed. Throughout our land thou sands and thousands die every year from actual starvation. Some of these unfortunates are little children whose parents are too ignorant or too poor to give them what is necessary to sustain life. But many of them are adults, whom hard poverty or sad ignorance have forced into a habit of systematic though undesigned starvation. Day after day the vital powers slowly fade, the strength grows less, the spirit be comes morbid, and th face wan and de jected. Disease now steps in, at tacks and carries by force some impor tant citadel of the body, and death fol lows. The process is a slow one sometimes very slow extending, per haps, over many years, but it is often times as sure as it is slow. An injudi cious choice of the kind of food, either trom whim or avarice, may also pro duce results equivalent to starvation." AGRICULTURE. Soot for Makcrk. The value of soot, like that or ashes, depends a good deal upon the material that made it. That produced from a wood fire is the best; but there is so little of it that it is hardly worth while to consider it. The burning of coal, however, produces a great deal of soot, and its value is such that it would pay to save and apply all that is produced. Coal soot contains a fair percentage of ammonia, besides some phosphates, potash, soda, magne sia, sulphates, carbonates and cholide of lime. Sulphate of ammonia and sulphate of lime are the ingredients of most value, particularly the former. It is used on all kinds of crops, and the testimony, though variable, is strongly in is favor. The amount that would be useful depends upon circumstances, but one could scarcely apply too much. From ten to twenty bushels per acre is enough perhaps. In England soot has long been a favorite fertilizer for wheat and as a top-dressing for grass lands. Mixed with salt the effect is said to be greatly increased. In one experiment recorded, the soil without any manure produced 1S7 bushels of potatoes; with thirty bushels of soot the yield was in creased to 192 bushels; and with thirty bushels of soot mixed with eight bush els of salt 240 bushels were produced. Grass and wheat top-dressed with soot Save a Deautirully greau color, due principally to the sulphate of ammonia present. For garden purposes nothing is better than soot dissolved in water half a peck of soot to a barrel of water the plants and beds being sprinkled with it. .Moisture increases its value, and hence its best fleets are seen on moist soils or in moist seasons. Raising Horses. As a rule farmers do a veiy hap-hazard business in raising horses. They use mainly old broken down or crippled mares and secure the services of the most convenient stal lions, especially if they are supposed to be speedy. Size, build, style, endu rance, kindness and other important qualities have but little thought. In raising horses, as with other stock, we should keep in mind our needs or the requirements of the market which we have to supply. e should be careful lest we are deceived in regard to the de mand for fast horses. That now and then an enormous price is paid for a very fast young horse is no positive assurance that we could raise equally valuable stock by breeding from the same strains of blood, and if we should, the chances are that we should not get the high prices. Breeding horses for speed is well enough, but ordinary far mers seldom make it pay. There is a much better prospect for profit in raising first-class draft horses, or still better, fine carriage horses. If a farmer has a brood mare of fine style, which If properly mated will produce good sized, stylish carriage horses, he should prize her highly. Fine carriage horses are always in demand at good prices. The general stock of horses, as we find them through the country, is under size. Larger horses are in demand, and far mers ought to recognize this fact, and raise colts to meet the demand. In se lecting a stallion to breed from, do not rely entirely on his pedigree, but inves tigate his qualities and learn all you can ot his ancestry and of his progeny, borne horses, fine in themselves, are not as successful sires as others that are not as high bred or attractive. Tee ground should be made suffi ciently rich to grow the largest possible crops, else we are laboring with our bauds and not with our heads, and un profitably. Now that we have the mOft useful artificial fertilizers, specially prepared lor all crops, by honest and responsible dealers, there is no excuse for poor crops, unless the farmer is too poor to procure these fertilizers. In that case he should cultivate less land, and learn to grow the largest crops by better work and more liberal fertili zing. A delicate complexion is beet compared to a blooming rose; but when the countenance ie disugured with lilotches aud l'imples, like weeds in a rose-bud, the enfferer should promptly use lr. Ball's Blood Mixture, which quickly and effectually eradicates such un sightly evidences of impure blood. Care of Tools and Implements. Every farmer should keep a pot of mixed paint in his workshop, and should apply it liberally to plows, wagons, harrows, reapers and all imple ments that are exposed to the weather. This will cause them to last twice as long as usual. Farming tools aud im plements are less frequently run out by bard service, than used up by useless exposure to the weather when they are not in service. Mr. Samper's Black Eye. Mr. Sarsaper surprised and astounded his family by walking into the parlor Thursday evening with an immense portico over one eye, and bis clothing bearing unmistakable evidence that he had been quite recently reclining on the damp cobble-stones without so much as a newspaper under him. His wife sprang up as he entered the door, gave him a look that reached from his bead to his toes, planted her hands defiantly on her hips, and remarked in a tone that she keeps handy for hie own special benefit : "Well, you are a nice-looking object, I mnst say. Mud from head to foot, one coat tail tore most off, hat all banged to smash, and a face like a butcher shop. Daniel, you are certainly the awkwardest man I ever saw. What makes you go stumbling along without looking what you're up to? Won't you ever learn to get off of a street-car with out lighting on your head? Do you think I've got nothing else to do bnt make salve and mend clothes? Why can't you learn to be a little careful, or else wait till they stop the car ? But no you won't do it, of course, and you'll keep right on till some day you'll break your neck, and you'll be sure to do it right when I'm the busiest." "The street-car didn't have anything to do with it, my dear," protested Mr. Sarsaper timidly, nursing the lump over his eye; "you see I that is, as " "Yes yes to be sure I do," broke in his wife. "Shambling along as usual, and never once noticed that the Henderson's were getting in coal, and so you bad to go and tumble head over heels down cellar. I know it as well as if I'd been standing on the doorstep and seen it with my own eyes. When will you ever learn to look where you're going?" No no, my dear, it wasn't that. I didn't come that way, but if you'll only have a little patience I'll tell you all " "Have patience! Daniel Sarsaper how much longer do you expect me to have patience? How long has it been since you come limping home with a sprained foot and kept me awake most all night with your groaning and pitch ing around? You don't mean to stand there and tell me you fell over that darkey Sam's wheelbarrow again, do you?" "Oh, no my dear. I " "Well, what? How'd yon come by that black eye. Tell me that?" "Why, my dear I I disagreed with a man that's all." Pbidkhtlt Bbiai rr Ton Cold by tbe timely use of Dr. Juyne'g Expectorant, an old remedy lor Sore Luagt and Throats, and a certain curaj tlve lor Coughs. SCIENTIFIC. Fire Caused by Water. The familiar lecture-table experiment of "touching off a cannon with an icicle" has its counterpart, no less paradoxical, in the actual world, where fires are sometimes (though not frequently) caused by water. In the experiment alluded to, a tiny piece of potassium by its energetic combination with the oxygen in the icicle, inflames the liberated hydrogen, and thus lights the priming of the can non. The experiment is a striking one, calculated to make one long remember that chemical combination is a source of heat, and that when two bodies have a very intense mutual affiuity, they may combine with such fervor as to cause combustion. Some time ago the Poly technic Review called attention to a case in which fire was caused indirectly by flood the rising water floating a cotton bale that was in a warehouse cellar until it caught a gas flame and set Are to the floor, and thus caused the loss of the building. Recently at the Ame lunk fire in Brooklyn, there was a more direct example of fire caused by water, by the energetic combination of the water raised by the high tide and wind, with some quicklime, the slacken ing being so vigorous as to cause ignition of the boxes or barrels containing it, and thus causing a serious fire. These and similar lessons should teach us greater care in storage and greater watchfulness. It is very much doubted whether any lessons or any losses will ever teach Americans to build fire-proof. Spontaneous combustion of damp hay is not unfrequent; coal, sometimes, if not well enough ventilated, gets to smouldering on shipboard; grain is liable to the same danger. Cotton waste and rags, etc., can be ignited if the proper conditions of moisture and con finement exist; and where these are not found spontaneous combustion, caused by rapid oxidation of animal oils, is quite ready to aid in swelling the list of insurance losses. Not entirely apropos of our title heading may be mentioned flres caused by the rays ot the sun, concentrated by means of druggists' bottles, engravers' globes, aquaria, or even bubbles in glass panes falling on inflammable materials. The water, acting as a refracting ma terial, causes tne damage. Prof. Garrod in a recent lecture brought into preminence some, well known physiological facts which deserve more attention than they usual ly receive. In expiration the carbonic acid is thrown to aconsiderable distance from the nostrils, and is, consequently, not taken back by the next expiration, if at night, however, the bedclothes happen to fall over the face, the current of carbonic acid is obstructed and is in haled again and again, producing mis chievous effects. Air should not enter the lungs at a temperature much below that of the blood, aud the habit of breath through the nose in cold weather should be cultivated. The protoplasmic vitality of the body led, in the opinion of the Professor, to the oxidation of pabulum supplied and the formation of carbonic acid, just the same as muscular work. A method of coating wood with a var nish as hard as stone has been recently introduced; the ingredients are; forty parts of chalk, forty of resin and four of linseed oil, to be melted together in an iron pot. One part of native oxide of copper and one of sulphuric acid are then to be added, after which the com position is ready for use. It is applied hot to the wood with a brush, in the same way as paint, and as before ob served, becomes exceedingly hard on drying. A new torpedo has been invented in England. It has many of the features of the Whitehead torpedo, the general characteristics of which are well known. It is claimed for it that it is propelled under water at the rate of forty miles an hour. This seems incredible, but it is vouched for by the inventor and the au thorities who have been testing its capacity for destruction. The heat produced during the burning of fuel is given out when the carbon of the fuel unites with the oxygen of the air, and carbonic gas is produced, as it is by the breathing of men and animals. This poisonous gas usually passes up the chimney. For grinding cutlery and edge tools, the stone should be dipped in water to prevent the heating of the tools. Care ful cutlers use oil for polishing instead of water, when using grindstones of small diameter. The heat conducting powers of metals are : gold, 1000 deg. ; platinunp, 981 deg. ; silver, 973 deg.; copper, 883 deg.; zinc, 363 deg.; lead, 179-; marble, 23 deg.; porcelain, 12 deg.; fine clay, 11 deg. The air in a room twelve feet square and eight feet high weighs nine pounds. A Joke on Kvarts. One of his colleagues says: "I never saw Evarts cornered but once. He al ways has a quick and appropriate re partee ready ; but I saw him once where he could find nothing to say. It was last summer, after we had been to Ben nington. While we were there it was impossible to get any ine, beer etc.. and Evarts is a gentleman who is used to taking his wine with his meals (the rest of us can stand a drink now and then), and we all felt the deprivation to a certain extent. We were very tired when going to Rutland, where Governor Tage was to give us a grand reception, and Evarts remarked on the way: 'When we get there we shall, no doubt, have a lunch, with all that a lunch implies.' AVe arrived thereafter nightfall, and, as soon as we reached Governor Page's residence, were offer ed refreshments, with the understand ing that it was not the banquet of which we expected to partake in state later, but merely to revive us after our jour ney. But there was no wine. Evarts took in the situation, and, politely ap proaching our host, said to him, with dry humor, 'Governor Page, it is true Mrs. Hayes is in favor of temperance ; she does not partake of alcoholic drinks herself, but she never interferes wuh others, and she has seen all of us take them. We are tired from traveling, and the Attorney General and Post master General are accustomed to their wine; so let me' he added with an ad ditional touch of drollery in his tones, 'suggest that if vou intend giving us anything of that sort, you bring it out now.' " The narrator continued : "Governor Page was evidently much embarrassed, and said hurriedly, 'Well, really, gentlemen, I was not prepared for anything of that sort, and I have nothing of the kind in the house.' Evarts, for once, was at a loss what to say. One of us came to his rescue, saying, laughingly, 'Oh, the Secretary of State is jesting ; the Postmaster Gen eral and Attorney General don't care for any wine, really.' But we found out afterwards that Governor Page is a great temperance man, and has prohi bion as a cardinal principle in his po litics, which makes the joke on Evarts all the better." Secretary Evarts has the fortunate temperament which can appreciate a joke, whether against him self, or some one else, so, doubtless, he has laughed over the occurrence as heartily as have his 'colleagues of the cabinet. DOMESTIC. A Farmer's Savot Stkw. A Cana dian journal remarks ; "In Canada we have learned something from the French about cheap living. Perhaps our pot-pie came from them, because they are famous for their rich, whole some stews. Take a joint of any kind of fresh meat, some like beef, others like veal, I like mutton, because my father kept long wool of mutton sheep. In the city you can get such a joint for a dime, and in the country it ought not to cost more. In all cases put the meat in cold water, add enough water to cover it, and boil until it is tender, for beer and mutton say two hours, for veal say one hour. Add salt and pepper. About half an hour before serving, put in six potatoes, pared and quartered, and let them boil with the meat. In the meantime prepare the dumplings by taking a quart of flour, a table spoonful of butter, and two teaspoon fuls of sifted baking powder; wet with milk enough to make a stiff batter, so it will drop from a spoon; ten minutes before serving drop the batter into the stew, a spoonful at a time, until all is in, and then cover tightly and boil ten minutes. If the meat is not sufficiently fat, add butter, but not otherwise ; it is generally rich enough without butter. The batter thickens the gravy as well as makes the dumpling. Serve, of course, on a large platter. Here you nave meat and the juice or the meat, bone and the juice of the bone, potatoes and flour, all healthy and nourishing, good tor brain, muscle and bone. Enough for a large family does not cost twenty-five cents; all like it; and we at home have this stew at least twice a week." Caper Sauce. Melt a tablespoonful of butter, and mix smoothly with it a tablespoonful ot flour ; add w hue pepper aud salt, keep it on the stove, and by degrees stir in almost a pint ot hot milk. W ben the sauce thickens, add capers. or if you have none, use pickled nastur tium seed, it the addition of lemon juice is desired, omit the miik, using in its stead boiling water, w hen the sauce is taken trom tne fire, stir in the lemon juice about a tablespoonful beaten with the yolk of an egg. Although caper sauce is the proper thing tor boiled mutton, it is very good with a plain drawu butter, substituting in place of capers slices of hard boiled eggs. Hie liquor in which the mutton was boiled with a little pearl barley will furnish an excellent broth. Let it cool. aud remove the fat from the surface be fore using. The Nohb Bath. In a variety of nasal atlections, catarrh, colds in the head, inflammation of the nasal passages, nose-bleed, etc., this remedy proves beneficial: Water should be snuffed freely through tiie nostrils and drawn back, It possible, so that it is ejected by the mouth. This should be related several times a day, when the object is to tone the debilitated mucous membrane of the nose, and should be used cool or cold. When, as in ulcerated surfaces, the design is to cleanse them, it may be used tepid, following with cold water for a tonic eff ect. Chicken Salad. To one chicken take two cups of chopped celery ; four eggs boiled hard and cut smooth with a knife; add sweet cream till thin as a batter, two tablespooufuls dry mustard, three teaspoonfuls of salt, two teaspoon f uls black pepper, one teapoonf ill sugar, two tablespooufuls melted butter, and vinegar enough to moisten. Boil the chicken until very tender, then pick it into Una bits, which U better than to chop it; add the two cups of chopped celery, and pour over the mixture. Scales In Philadelphia. At the Beading Railroad Coal Depot at Port Richmond, there are nine miles of railroad track within the depot enclosure, and twenty one miles ontnide, within one mile of the coal wharves. Kaeh wharf is supplied with one or more of Fair bank's track scales. They do things in the correct terijh there. To Recook Cold Fresh Fisb. Pick up in flakes any cold fish, boiled, broiled or fried ; brown some butter, add to it a pincn ot grated nutmeg and a tew whole pepper corns, a little mmced parsley and one onion, with a table spoonful of salad oil; stir the fish in the siuce, and when uished squeeze the juice of a lemon over it. Household Hints. A little corn starch in milk will improve chocolate. turpentine is the best to wet stove polish with before using. One cup of beers gall In sixteen quarts of water, will keep red clothes from fading. If you will pour a little vinegar in the water you wash blue clothes in, it will keep them bright. A xmrir flruir hn cr that will IinLI twenty five pounds of flour, is excellent to put hams away in for the summer. Wran thlt hnmft first in hrnurn nnnpr - . ......... t i " - several thicknesses ; tie the bag tightly and bang up. No flies will disturb the hams. Mildew. Fifteen minutes soaking in a solution of chloride of lime, and a bath of muriatic acid will remove mildew from any garment. apoleon Bonaparte. "Before leaving the Egyptian cam paign, it -will bo necessary to mention the two actions which have thrown the darkest shade ' on the reputation of Bonaparte; the massacre of the Turks at Jaffa, and the murder of bis own men. The fate of a town taken by assault, is too well known to attract any consid eration, if it is unaccompanied by cir cumstances of unusual barbarity. The defeated defenders and the innocent townspeople suffer the utmost violence which the rage of an irritated soldiery can inflict. While the conflict lasts, or before discipline can be established, no life is safe; but after the first burst of wrong, the perpetration of murder or robbery becomes a crime. At Jaffa it was the policy of Bonaparte to strike with terror; and he gave up to indis criminate destruction every inhabitant of the devoted town. Five hundred Turkish prisoners were killed in cold blood, and the peaceful citizens ruth lessly 6lain. The slaughter lasted for two whole days, and the general-inch ief ordered it to continue. This san guinary act brought its legitmate pun ishment. The corpses of men, women and children, encumbered the streets. and tbeir reeking blood ascended to heaven, and came down upon the mur derers in the shape of pestilence. The rench army was stricken down !" Referring to the sick soldiers of Bonaparte, the narrative continues "Some he sent by sea to Damietta, others to Gaza by land. But with the remainder, seventy or eighty, lying helplessly on their beds, expecting to die, incapable of being .removed, with no sufficient force to leave for their pro tection, what was to be done ? He or dered the doctors to prepare a soporific draught, which would easily end their pains ; and though one of the physicians refused the office, some others obeyed. The patients drank the medicine and, never awoke again. Now, these were two dreadful crimes against humanity and christian feeling; but the defenders of Xapoleon say that war is not a chris tian or haman operation at all, and there are cases in which a massacre like that of the Tnrks at Jaffa may be really a work of necessity, and a murder like that of his own country-men an act of mercy." HUMOROUS. Gettiko Close Fiodres. A newsboy with three or four morning papers under his arm. called into a Woodward avenue jewelry store recently and in quired : "Kin you ten me toe price ot a woman's gold watch one o' them kind as winds up by twistin the knobr" "Yon mean a stem-winder," answered the clerk ; "you can get a pretty good one for about sixty dollars." "J 1st sixty?" "Yes." "And how much for a diamond pin one most as big as a bean ?" "Well, about tbree hundred dollars." "Three hundred'll take it, will they ?" "Yes." "Thanks," said the boy as he backed out. He sat down with bis back to the wall, figured with a pencil on the margin of one of his papers, and presently soliliquized : "Tbree hundred for the pin, and sixty more for the watch that's three hundred and sixty. Them my Santa Claus presents for maw and paw, and I've got eighty-one cents on hand and two weeks more to work in! Yere's your mornin' papers !" What Bhe Asked Tommy. He was named Thomas and she was named Jane. They sat on Central Hotel balcony for three long hours one day recently. As they sat down Thomas took one of Jane's hands. She allowed that sort of thing to go on without a word of pro test, and the flaxen-haired youth Anally seized the other one. They talked and talked, and looked down upon the street, and sighed, and the hours slipped away. At the end of the third hour she said : "Tommy, dearest, I want to ask you something." "Ask me a hundred a thousand a million things!" he exclaimed in reply. 'Well, lomray, I've got an awful cold in my head." she continued, "and if I drew one of my hands away and wiped my nose would you think I was mad? I've either got to do that, Tommy, or let my nose wipe itself. Just one wipe, Tommy, and then you may have it back." Tommy released her band, though he hated to, and ber nose was softly and duly wiped. Col. Tom Pickerino was walking over his pleasant Wenham farm one Summer morning, refreshing himself after the fatigues and slanders and general abuses that beset a member of Washington s Cabinet, when a man came up and asked for work. "What canyon do on a farm r ' In quired Col. Pickering. "All kinds of work." said the man off bund. "Do you know how to build a stone wall?" Oh, yes, any fool knows that." "Tell me bow you do it, then." "Well, nothin' much to tell. You jest have to set one stone on another." "oyoudon t," thundered the irate Colonel ; "you have to set one stone on two. You can go." A rsw days ago a little chimney sweeper entered the "tommy" shop at Ls worth Collinery, and asked for a threepenny loaf of bread. The shop man handed him one. The boy looked at it, and said it was a "small yen." "Oh," said the shopman, "it will be less to carry !" lhe lad then put twopence on the counter and "cut." The shopman hastened to the door and shouted for him to come back, as he had not left money enough. "Oh," cried the lad, "it will be the les3 to count!" A citizen of New Mexico being in formed that in his absence a panther. had attacked his wife, and that she had beaten off and killed the animal. shrugged his shoulders and said : "Ef that painter had known her as well as I do, he'd never riled her dander np, you bet:" A Vermont girl fell out of a rocking chair and received injuries that killed her in two hours. Moral : l oung girls should not sit in a rocking chair unless there is a strong young man in it to hold them in. "Be carefcl how you drink, or you'll wash the color from your cheeks!" said a gentleman at a fashionable party, as he handed a glass of water to a lady. "there is no danger of your ever taking water enough to remove the color from your face," was the good natured retort. "Well. I swan. Billv " said an old farmer to an undersized nephew who was visiting him. "when vou take off that 'ere plug hat and spit two or three times, there isn't much left of you, is thar?" A female gatekeeper on the national pike has been removed for dead-heading her sweetheart. Siie never tol'd ber love. No bird is actually on the wine. The wings are on the bird. The cheanest of lawvers keeninir one's own counsel. The best means of catching an heiress is with a coro-net. Worthy or Gomibeudatloo. Boxes -have been set up in central lo calities throughout the city of Phila delphia for the reception of such maga zines, newspapers and other reading matter as having been perused, would be cast aside; but by this meansare col lected and distributed among the hos pitals for the entertainment and in struction of the inmates. The results, thus far, have been very gratifying, and the enterprise is worthy of encour agement and may be initialed with ad vantage by other cities. We trust that every one will patronize this philan thropic scheme. Thus far, boxes have been placed in the hall of the Philadelphia Post-office, the Pennsylvania Railroad depot. West Philadelphia: the West Chester Rail road depot, West Philadelphia, the de pot of the Philadelphia Wilmington, and Baltimore Railroad and S.W. cor uer of Broad and Chestnut streets. The Secret of Business Success. It is claimed that Tanderbilt exhibited great nerve and shrewd business sagacity in the purchase of stocks and railroads controlled by him. Vet, whenever be made an investment he received in return an equivalent either as his own or as collateral security. Dr. K V. Pie roe has invested many hundred thousand dollars in advertising, depending entirely upon the superior merits of his goods for securry. The unparalleled popularity of bis family med icines, and the annual increase in their sale, attests in arguments stronger than words of their punty and efficiency. If the blood be impoverished, the liver sluggish, or there be tumors, blotches aud pinnules, Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery will effect a speedy and perfect cure. If the bowels be constipated use Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets. Debilitated females suffering with those pecu liar drageing-down sensations and weaknesses, will find Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription a safe and certain remedy. Prompt relief and a permanent cure have so universally followed its nse, that the doctor now sells it under a positive guarantee. Oailabd, Donglasa co., Oregon, Jan. 23, 77. Da. Pit so, Buffalo, N. I.: Dear Sir. Your Golden Medical Discovery has cured my daughter of goitre, after many physicians bad failed. Inclosed please find L50 for a copy of The Peoples Common Sense Medical Ad isf r. With us it takes the place of the family physician. Yours truly. Aabo Aura. Mr. Vebsou, Ohia, July 10, 18T8, Db. Puntci, Buffalo, N. Y.: Dear Sir. Four bottles of your Favorite Prescription baa entirely cured my wife. We employed three different physicians and many remedies, bnt found no relief. With a thank ful heart, I am Ever Your Friend, Acecsr Wismrwo. The Fairy Tales of Science 'Among the living pictures that the tropica have to show, surely none can be more beautiful than the butterflies. Who ha ever looked even at dead speci mens from Malacca and from Rio de Janeiro, all stiff and dull, pinned on cardboard with their prim companions, without wondering at their beauty, without a visionary glimpse of the sun pierced forest-paths, and the frult-bear-Ing lands in which the splendid creat ures disport themselves in life ? America is richer in butterflies than the Eastern Hemisphere, but everywhere those of the tropics surpass those of the temper ate zone in numbers and quality. The habits of the tropical butterflies are as various as their colors and forms are exquisite, and a true lover of them need never be deprived of objects of contem plation, for though the majority are "diurnal" that is, of the early to bed and early to rise persuasion some East, ern morphidae and an entire American family (Brassolidse) are "crepuscular," like the "Buffalo gals" of our youth The description of some of them, as early in the morning they expand their wings to the sun, and dart so swiftly that the eye cannot follow tbem, re minds one of Shelley's "embodied joy, whose race has just begun." Aconsid erable number frequent riversides and the margins of pools, assembling to gether in flocks of hundreds of individ uals; but these are all males. The fe males remain in the forest, where in the afternoons (presumably after tbeir no business hours) their partners join them. Among these exquisite creatures thire are also uneatable species who, when the crowd of floating and fluttering beauties disappear, to conceal themselves amid foliage or on sticks which harmon ize with their hues, hang in their un concealed gaudiness at the end of slen der twigs or on exposed leaves. We should be disappointed at first with the tropical birds, but after many days in the forest we should find out the beauti ful creatures that live in its dense fol iage and gloomy thickets, the parrots, the pigeons, the perching birds, in all the wonderful variety of those orders, especially in that portion of the Malay Archipelago that is East of Borneo, and in the Pacific Islands, where mon keys arboreal animals given to the eating of eggs are not. Ouly in Amer ica should we find the humming bird, that living marvel of color, exclusively tropical, though it has migrant specie8 which visit I.ake Winnipeg and the Columbia River, making journeys of full 3,000 miles each Spring and Au tumn; darting into fuchsia flowers in the midst of a snow-storm at Terra del Fuego, and whirring about Pichincha at 14,000 feet above the sea. It was of a minute humming bird, found only in the extinct crater of Chlriqua, In Vera gua, that Mr. Gould, said, "It seems to have caught the last spark from the vol cano before it was extinguished," so flaming is the crimson of its tiny gor get. These flitting gems, these beauti ful bauble-birds are extraordinarily brave and combative; we have complete tournament pictures of them from Mr. Wallace and Mr. Gosse, and of their numbers Mr. Belt says that in the part of Nicaragua where he was living they equalled in number all the rest of the birds together, if they did not greatly exceed them. How much one would like to see the nest, "no larger inside toan the half of a walnut-shell, of a cup-shape, beautifully decorate! with pieces of lichen, and lined with the finest and most silky fibres;" how gen tly, lest one should tarnish the two little white eggs by breathing on them, one would steal away from it. What pic tures are conjured up by the Mexican and Peruvian names of these wonderful creatures, which mean "rays of the sun" and "tresses of the day star." The wolf changes its hair every year, but remains a wolf. . There Is Trouble In Store For those who neglect to rectify irregularities of ths stomach, hver ana bowels, which they foolishly imagine will "come right of then selves. Of this silly error such persons are usually disabused by the deveiopmtrut of some serious chronic malady, traceable to what they were plessed to consider a tnding disorder of the above named associste organs. Such a culmination is easily avoided. A course of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters invariably baa the effect of renewing the secretive action of a torpid liver, restoring healthy digestion and assimilation, aud rendering the habit of body perfectly regular. The activity of these all important functions being restored, and the entire system toned and regulated by this in comparable corrective aud invigorauC no dan ger to the general health is to be apprehended from causes which, if not eradicated in time, will assuredly undermine il Foa all DisosncRs arising from an un healthy condition of the liver and stomach, no remedy equals Scheuck's Mandrake Pills. No matter how costive or bilious the evsteia msy be, the habit of the body is immediately corrected and regulated, and the organs are brought to a healthy and natural activity. For sale by ail druggists. The "Baby's Beet Fnend" is the most ap propriate title for Dr. Bull's Baby Syrup. It is absolutely free from Opium. Morphia and other powerful agents, is perfectly safe and reliable under all circumstances and by allay ing the usual Stomach and Bowel Disorders of babyhood, keeps the child from fretting and crying, so injurious to itself and annoying to all. Price 25 cento. The Great w tug Medicine Is Hoof land's German Bitten. It tones ths stomach and assists Digestion. It arouses the Liver to healthy action, and regulates the bowels. It purines the Blood, and gives vigor and strength to the whole system, dispelling all Dyspeptic symptoms, with its loss of appe tite. Sick Headache, languor and depression. It infuses new hfe and energy into the whole being. All suffering from deranged digestion at this time should take II Gotland's German Bitten, They are sold by all Druggists. Johnston. IloUoway cq Oi Arch street, Philadelphia. Rheumatism 'Quickly Cured.' "Dnrang's Rheumatic Remedy," the great infernal medicine, will positively cure any case of Rheumatism on the face of the earth. Price 1 a bottle; six bottles. S5. Sold by all Drug gists. Send for circular to Helphenstine 4 Bentley, Druggists, Washington, D. C ADVERTISEMENTS Inserted in AM' OR AIX f the Newspapers named In their Direc tory for OXE TIME, or for OXE YEAR, in the best positions, which are carefully watched, at the LOWEST PRICES, on application to S. M. PETTENGILL & CO., at either of their offices in IV o"W York, JPliilatlelliia. or Uoston ESTIMATES MADE Por Advertisers without charge, for insertion in a CHOICE SELEC TION of Newspapers, or for the BEST Newspapers in AXY City, Town, County or Section. . AdTf rtisemeBts in the Best Positions, at Tery Reasonable Rates. APPLY To &. M. PETTENGILL & CO. A GenUe Hint, In our stvle of climate, with its sudden changes of temperature rain, wind and sun shine often intermingled in a single day it is no wonder that our children, friends and rela tives are so frequently taken from ns by ne glected colds, half the deaths resulting di rectly from this cause. A bottle of Boschee s German Syrup kept about your home for im mediate use will prevent serious sickness, a large doctor's biU. and perhaps death, by the use of three or four doses. For curing Con sumption. Hemorrhages, Pneumonia, Severe Coughs, Croup or any disease of the Throat or Lungs, its success m simply wonderful, as your druggist will tell you. German Syrup is now sold in every town and village on this continent Sample bottles for trial, 10 cents; regular size, 75 cents. Reliable Dry Goods Hons. We notice that B. F. Dewees. 723 Chestnut street Philadelphia has been appointed Agent for the very relebrated Double Warp Black BUka. These goods are said to be almost ever lasting in wear, and at e very cheap. They vary in price from L25 to 2.00, but sold formerly at from t'i to t-i per yard. If yon want any kind of dry poods, write for samples. sr. r.w.srvaevii rr.Lrr en ho NEla.PtI.iJt r prepared i fn-Mlr B cun sitk HnUch,, rou Hewlaebs, Dyspeptic Headache ftearalaia. NerrotuaeM and SlMSKwane and Wll enraaar ea. Pries sue., eurtw frae. S-M by al DrUKKiaU. OIBco. No. kJ4 N. Bulaw St- Baltimore NATURE'S REMEDIES. Tit &tT8tooo Puwntwr Cured Her. a. H. R. Srmvi : BEixrvrK. Kt. lwarsir: 1 nint state that your Vseetlns deserves to be called a valuable blood purliier, renovator and lnvlgorjtor of i tie whole system. My wife fullered for a length of time with a bcrofula Sore on the leg. Sue took several bot tles of Vrgetlue. Tne results were surprising. It currd ber, while all me former remedies foiled to give satisfaction. liespectlully, T. F. TRICK. I know the above to be true. IlRNRT WKKTHKnfUl, Druggist and Apothecary, 1-y HuuuiuutQ St Vegetine is Sold by all Druggists. Representative Business Houses OF PHILADELPHIA. MANUFACTURER OP SEAL PRESSES For Notary Publics, Commissioners, and everything In generaU. BANKING HCl'SB A BTSINESS HAND STAMPS. RUBBER STAMPS ASPEI'IALTT. STENCIL AND STENCIL INKS. HEXRT X. B al MWARTE.N, 40 South Fourth Street, Philadelphia. International Exhibition. CENTENNIAL GROUND. OPF.X FOR THE SEASON OF 1878. Stisrrb Display of ExhnMta, with Machinery Is motion ! Mr WILLIAM NORTHCOTT.th-lnlmitM Cor set Plavtr,.n l P-rf nuance, on t'te llrati'l K veil urgan, by MR. TUEO.C. KNAL'Fi',tryUr. GRAND CONCERT On TTESDAT. TFH'RSTUT end SATURDAY Afternoon bv Hlfr fcxhibitiuB Band, Xr. Mark KtW, Mujrl pir-rlor. Th. Grati-iH Inv.-tiou. of th. Ag-; the Edison Catbou, PlMip.'.Uray aand Bell a TELEPIION ES n practical opr.tli, FREE TO TISITORS. wl h ettinptuint amotiianti in charge to explain Ihi-ir op ratiua. AdmUaioa 25 cents. LhiMren Xlcenta. EYE GLASSES. Optra Gla. fciwntr. pr OUri, Tbtrmom lr. Sprfarlti. M.cr-tC"p-i mn-i T" .: p- AT URkATLY KLI1 Kl PRM t?. It. Ac J. HECK 3IanufioturIntr Opticians, 921 CUESTNl'T ST., PHIL A. Tllnotrntrd prir ratalotrn of 1(W ptj( mailed tJ iqj auldrvM on receipt A thr atamp. Of. LCW f VVaLaisiaJjalA-CsJsfeJ-ITwTT J'Li tl WELLSriTET FOR Pl'BMr F.XH IBITIOXS. New olitiou o Caialotrne now traJy, giving greatly K'MiK-vvi Pricvu. MA4 K- SEW AD I H PROVED SrHOOU Hkt PAKLoR OktVAN-SvM.. by mail fT -f -JSO haa the moat thorough nytttem of instruction anil an elrnt enllfrtinnof Yi-rsil inl instr omental nHl.liem LCC A WALMER. 1113 Chestnut St.. PhUa4 a. (Vnrral Tire Rr-h-T.ndinr Onnit. 8inrl.Rrrl fr-ni 94 np lk.nl.le Brr... frni tSM up (;, liin.-a and PirU of ni-t npnmted Ei.iish art I American ni.ike. Pner and hr Sh-ll, Wa: tpa. eir. Price on application Liberal dlscovnta u dealers. JOS. C. GRUEB S CO., 712 KASKET ST., PHILADELPHIA- LANBRETHS" SEEDS ARK THE REST. 1. l.t-MKTII MOV. 1 at 4 Nentsi M VTII 1 PhlLaaielwaila. xsciopncoMS Vita Inarer! and rarwfaM Maisw I.ATF.B KLIDFS, siasjvi, isrw mwwimw rn. rauu a. .Far eaaveaieaea tnay far -r.at w pu!M in, catr mm UNBiYALLED I meat U tevejt. iMiltttftft atBiir, .ft )(iaaiiasiiia.u eta. m. , no 7 eta. "pTat T I I KY 4'IIRIWT. 11 I 1 Ftiita.Mpu.H -tUilr-v 9 t 5,l.a. rpjwr liiti!l.d fri ta ba W ine, $ 1 jm-xh1 fur t N. THIRD !TRF.ET. Pnrw Rye. fr-.m n 91 25 to 1.7t. La,- boi fur lull pru t har. JUST PUULISIIED. PETTENGILL'S Newspaper Directory ANl ADmnSEBS' HAMOGK, For The pat mplrtg Xrwaapr 1H rectory ever mtUH. naata,a; mmmt mf Kabila r aaxl Aatwertiaera alike. It contain 4ft pegee, with information concern ing 8,616 different paper in the l'oitd Scat and British America, anil eotnprehena.Te list of promi nent Paronean and A iitraiaian joamala. Thia Dirkctokt will be sent, pta paid, ft any addreas, for the Tery low price of Oae DelUar. S. M. PETTENGILL & CO., 37 Park Row, New York. i:atlt k 71 H. R. R. DYSENTERY, CHOLERA MORBUS, JETER AXD AGUS, euro aai rwuiui bt Railway's Ready ReUet RHEUMATISM, NEURALGIA, DEPTH ERIA, INFLUENZA. SORE THROAT, DIFFICULT BREATH IN(i, aZXJXTKO Ef A WWW MIUCTM BT Radway's Ready Relief. BOWEL COMPLAINTS. Looseness, T'ftTlicea. Cbo era Mor n-, or 'ain fol tilschartfes rrm lb ' bowi-s ar -stopped t Site n or tw. d jr minutes by taklnir Kaia. keai Reitr f. o onttsti'a or lnfl;iDuua oo. no w akn ss or la&aiUL.e, will follow la us. at U. a. K. Keller. ACHES AND PAINS. For head ahe, whether sick or errons ; na maxlsm. lumtaio. ! aius and wea; ea lb th back, spine or kuliieys; pains an mod lue tier, pleurisy, swel los of 'tis Joints, (xUnatntlM oowe s, he rtburn and pains of all kind, ttfei w yl Kealy relief will air n mmedinte eans, and Its continue use for a tew dys effect s permanent cunt. Price 00 cents. Br. RaW BM Fills, Perfectly tasteless, fleirantly coated, for lb rare of all disorders ot live stoma-!. U-er. bew sls, kidneys, bladder, nerrcua dleas-s. hea.V ache, const! pat l"n. Indnr-stlon, dyprpsla. biU HHisnt-ss. l)U ons t-yer, inflainniai hb of Uie bow. els, piles, and ail deran.emrnia ot ibe Internal rttcera. rranted la street a talsiureeur. Pries cents per boa. DB. RADWAY'S Sarsaparilllan Resolvent The Great Blood Purifier, roa tub cuax or chbonic disbar k. SCROFULA OR SYPHILITIC, HER EDITARY or CONTAGIOUS. BI IT IIATXD Ef TRB Laaaa sr .atvoaaela. akla r Bvaea, FlMk sr M.rvs. CORRUPTING. THE SOLIDS AND VITIATING THE FLUIDS. Chronic Rheumatism. Scrotal a. Glandular welling. Hacking Dry Cosirh. I'tuu-erous ASeo tions. Oyphilltlc Complaints. BleiMIn? of th Longs, Dyspepsia. Water Brash, TV Doloreui, WhlUe welllnsrs. Tumors Ult ers, Skin a t U( Dseaaes. Mercurial Diseast-a. Pern ilei'otuplaiut Bout. Dropsy. Bait ttheum. Bronchitis, co aamptlOD. Liver Complaint, &c. rifof emty does the larsapartnian Resolwnt sal all remedial agents In the cure of I'hmnte. vrotulous. Constitutional, and Ckln Diseases but It Is th. only positlva curs for Kidney and! Bladder Complaints, Urinary and Womb Diseases, Grayel, Diabetes Drop y, Stoppage of Water. Incontinence u: Crlue. BrttrU Disease. Alnmtnnna and In all eases where there are brick-dust d-iosiis. oc u.t water la thick, cloudy, mixed with ulwtnir Due the white of an egg, or thre;ut like w hi ilk. w there ls a morbid, dark, bilious ppear anoe and white bone-dust deDocit. and wbrs there Is pricking, burning sensation wu-t passing water, and pain In the small of the ba.'l and .lone the loins, bold by druggists. l'Klt H ON DOLLAR. OflEIill TIDE Of Ten Year' Growth D R . R A D W AY' S RE f; 1 E D ; S HAVE HAD AN OVARIAN TU MOR IN THE OVARIE3 AND BOW. ILS FOR TEN YEARS. C Ax!f Abjob, Dec IT, 1ST&, Db. Radwat : That others may be benetlted. I make this statement : 1 hae had a. O ar an Tnmor In the oyrlet and bowels for ten years, I tried tne be t phy lclans of this place aud others w thout any beneUL It was rowing at such rapidity that I sould not have ltyed mu b longer. A irlen.l ol mine Induced me to try Kaday's R- medlet I bad not much laith in them, but finally, artei much deliberatl n, I tried them. I feel peifectly well, and my heart ls fua fratltude toUodfor th sbelp In my deep aiMlo Uon. To you. Sir, and your wonderful medklu. I feel deeply Indebted, and my prayer Is iht u may be much of a blessa;K to others as it n. been tome, (signed) Mrs. S C. Bimii-a. Mrs. Blbblna. who makes the ahoTe eer Irteate th- person for whom 1 requested .- to -eue u,edlctne In June 1875. Tl-e medMnes shoe taied ere bought of me, with lhe exception what was sent to ter by you I tna.v - that her statement Is correct rilbout a qualification. (Signed) I . Laaca. Druggist and Chemist, Ann Arbor. Mich This mav certiry lha Mrs B.bblns. whomakrt the abore certificate, la and has been for ntnj years well known to us. and the tacts ther-tt stated are undoubtedly at.d undeniably eprre-a Any one who knows Mrs. Wbbtns will beli.w ker statement. (Signed) BB!U. D. CoCkkB, BUBY a rwa. Mabt Cockzb, . roxn. DL RMAT & CO, 32 Warren St jr. t. PIANO Amth-rbartloii hfirh irle. Varfjta, afBfaaa, ilh OKriiopntiitlii rvn -wiil Mo-jsawayj IiTTaTo fmnl; rtrft cut 1t; thir rank b '; cuaipletf i-iiQt at! dfrt of th cm; rrni tr imp i. Hf&tty'a Uipat -V wpapr f r full rpl" awtit free. B-fre tnvin PIX ur OKiiAX r"al m I itr Circular. Batt- cel-trrel Putin and OnraiiM. ttfituti al .nan nmnta: bail'-tig cjii.pri an; Kival) ar jtil tin of hit aiKC: Xt cful hu '. AiiMtric. Cobimfncr-tl a f" ara eo Wittxmr avdoiiitr; al a now orIv ls24J.W -d-nu:tUr. Lowm prion v.-r iriv-n; Wrj? nt K.tMd P ftiMM lfy-wfoB ('hnrch Orv". flfiti. Trvni-ii.- W A R uab riO.iwrv.w r-a.iy. Alir( WAR Me ANTI-FAT The (.BUT KEWEDY tmr OOHFTJZjSIw-OIIL ALLAX'S ANTI-FAT ft rmrWT thi and jvrfrrtly harm!. It art wtpn the foot! in Um toniavcti, prrvtrntinic It heliifl ronTprttfl tntrt fat. TaJtn In aor-tnr with lt-rH-lrtns, It wilt pi a fat aaw frwaa tww to aW wwwwa arr wwrk. -1 orpulrnce ls not only ttlsemw Itself, bat th harhlnfrrr of others,' Ho wrote Htppocmt two thousand veare ajru, aad what waa true Uwa la aowc Ue lss so ti-1av. - Hoj'l hT flrujffUta, or amt, tt express, apoa fw ceipt of il JUL Quaxter-doja ti&k Ai4ra BOTANIC MEDICINE CO. Proprietor , Buffalo, -V. ? Tbowe auwcrac m AdTtnuenint will coDfer m taor apoai th Advwrtiawr aad thw PaLUwher by atatina; that they aaw the adver Uawanent la this touraal lamlns the ppr