What He Knew about Fannin. I had an engagement, not long ago. to meet a friend at the Battery. I was on hand half an hour too soon, having been niit-lcd by a clock which was con siderably fast. 'ot knowing a better way to pass the time until my friend should arrive, I sat down on one of the settees, threw my head back, inhaled the briny breezes, and was enjoying a sort of dolcefar niente circus generally, when a stranger walked up and took a seat beside me. lie wore a soft hat and a pleasant smile, together with the usual habili ments. UU coat was buttoned up to his neck in a manner indicating the fact that he was either guttering from bronchitis or had co shirt on. lie had a sort of Yellow Jack look about him, and I thought it advisable to get out of his way. Before I could do this, he said : 'Lovely weather this, eh f" "Yes, rather," I replied Indifferently. "Oh, what weather this is for farm loft!" "I know nothing whatever of farm ing." Oh, you don't, eh?" he murmured with a triumphant smile; "well, you can bet your life I understand it from beginning to end. Yes, I used to be the boss on farming. Why, Iueed to get up Ideas that almost set the world derail ired." There was something so marvellous about the man's manner of making simple statements, that (although he looked as though he might have the yellow fever in his clothes, as I remarked before) I determined to risk my life to hear his storr. You see," he went on, "when I was quite young, there was considerable rivalry in the milk business around the place where I was brought up, and, as there was quite a crowd of rich city people spending the summer in the neighborhood, there was a good chance to make money on cow-juice. 'Somehow or other there was a re port circulated that all the milk and butter purchased in the place was strongly flavored with wild onions. Says 1, I'll make my mark now; so I put my little idea into execution. 1 was successful, you bet, and nobody could understand what kind of milk 1 was giving them. "You see, I fed the cows on violets, oleanders, geraniums, mignonette, etc. in order to get the fragrance of those flowers into the milk aud butter; and, you bet, I got all sorts of puffs, "ads, encomiums, etc., till I couldn't rest, made money, too. "You just ought to have tasted one of those milk punches you talk about your boss elixirs whoa jiminy !" Seeing that he was completely carried away with himself, 1 assured him that I believed every word he said (which was a lie), and I should be only too happy to listen to any other reminis cences he might have to relate. This refreshed him so much that he completely forgot the cows, and branched off as follows: "I once thought that I could make an independent fortune if I could only get up a little racket to raise fresh vegeta bles of all kinds in mid-water. I knew that rich people would pay big prices for anything of the kind, so 1 set to work in good earnest to ascertain If I could bring my hopes into blossom." His metaphor was amusing. "You see, I selected a good-sized patch behind the house, and about two feet beneath the surface I laid large iron pipes about a foot apart. A short dis tance away I had a huge furnace bu:lt and hired a fireman to keep it in full blast all the time. "The steam from this furnace passed through the pipes and produced the necessary amount of heat to counteract the effects of the cold ; and the beauty of the thing was that it made the things grow quick. You could see the seeds burst like percussion caps. "Why, I used to raise several crops in one winter. As soon as I'd get the thing going, the maple trees would commence to give syrup, and buds would burst all around. I tell you I just made things howl, and don't you forget it !" For the purpose of seeing how far he would carry the thing, 1 interrupted him by saying: "You said the vegetables developed very rapidly ?" 'Kapidly !' be responded with a con temptuous chuckle, "well, I think they did ; why, the carrots and turnips grew so fast under the influence of that steam, that after hey made their appearance above the ground, I used to be com pelled to lay planks with weights on them over the rows to keep them from jumping into the air." "Kemarkable!" I exclaimed. "One day," he continued, without noticing my interruption, "my grand mother went out to take a look at things, and through her clumsiness she kicked a plank off the last turnip In the row, and before she knew what was the matter, it flew up and almost knocked the brains out of her." I thought it about time to get away from this amateur Ananias, but he anticipated me aud said : "Those were only boyish frivolities; just wait till I tell you about the time when I grafted wings Into pigs, aud had them flying aroimd the house like pigeons." "W-h-a t::!" I shouted totally over come by his utter serenity of counte nance; for he appeared to be iu dead earnest. "Xever mind, then," he went on, "I'll leave the pigs until the last, and tell you how 1 found perpetual motion. You see, old Dobbin died, and we didn't know what to do, because we were greatly In need of horse-flesh to drag stone. We were completely puzzled at first, but I soon fixed things. "1 got a piece of loadstone heavier than the wagon and fixed iton the pole; then 1 screwed a huge bar of steel on the axle-tree. I no more than did this when the loadstone commenced to draw, aud as it was heavier than the wagon, and the steel wouldn't give, of course it hauled it right along. "The day 1 tried the experiment the wagon was empty with the exception of myself. It increased in speed every moment, and weat so fast that I was afraid to jump off. Finally it attained such velocity that I couldn't see the trees. I don't know how far I went; or how many persons I ran over, but after I had been traveling about five minutes, the old thing ran into a stone church and almost killed me. 1 was three hundred miles from home." At this moment my fiiend arrived, and I left the agriculturist. He seemed disconsolate as I bade him adieu ; but I felt happy at being delivered from the ordeal of listening to the pig story which he promised to tell, and only re gretted that when he collided with the church be was not summarily mangled beyond repair. AGRICULTURE. Effect of Hakd Water on Akimals. Horses have an instinctive love for soft water, and refuse hard water if they can possibly get the former. Hard water produces a rougn and staring coat on horses and renders them liable to gripes. Pigeons also refuse hard water if they can obtain access to soft. Claghorn states that hard water in Minorca causes diseases to the systems of certain animals, especially of sheep. to much are the race-horses Influenced by the quality of water, that it is not unfrequent to carry a supply of soft water to the locality in which the race is to take place, lest, there being only hard water, the horses should lose con dition. Mr. Youatt, in his book called "The norse," remarking upon the desirableness of soft water for the horse, says : "Instinct of experience has made the horse himself couscious of this, for be will never drink hard water if he has access to soft; he will leave the most transparent w,ater of the well for a river, although the water may be tur bid, and evtn for the muddiest pool." And again in another place he says: -Hard water drawn fresh from the well will assuredly make the coat of a horse unaccustomed to it stare, and will not unfrequently gripe or further in jure him." Plaxt Trees. It is a beautiful cus tom, in some parts of the old world, to plant a tree whenever a child is born, which becomes its especial property. During the period of infancy the tree is cared for most assiduously by ' the parents and relatives of the child. Its fruit Is sold and the proceeds invested for the child's benefit. At the proper age the child assumes charge, and the tree receives the most careful attention, as there is some superstition connecting the welfare of the tree with the happi ness and prosperity of IU owner. A custom of this character would be a blessing to any country, and especially to ours, which eontains within its widely extended borders, soil, climate and every other condition favorable to the growth of every kind of fruit, not strictly tropical. We should be fruit eaters instead of fruit consumers, as we now are. Inhabitants of the extreme Southern states especially should devote considerable attention to this subject lar more than they now do. it is a very appropriate celebration to plant a fruit tree. Any family inaugurating such an observance will soon have quite an orchard with no apparent labor. The associations which will necessarily at tach to each individual tree will be a constant enjoyment or a pleasant memory. Bermuda grass bears no seed in our climate, but is propagated from the root. This is easily done by planting it in rows two feet apart in the onll, or 1 have known roots and sod after passing through straw-cutters to be sown broadcast on well-plowed land and then harrowed in. If the land is very loose, the harrow should be followed by a roller. Stock should be kept off it until the grass is well rooted and spreads over the ground. Xo further care will be necessary, as the grass, when well rooted, will take caraot itself ; of course a good culturing and a good coat of manure every two or three years will help it, but the droppings of the stock that feed upon it will do much to keep it :n good heart. btocW of every kind are very fond of it, and if you want good stock aud plenty of meat and but' ter, beef and mutton, vou should have a Bermuda grass pasture. Choosing a Fcythe. The disposition of steel In a scythe is best understood bv seeing one which has been broken across the blade. Sometimes tools of this class are steeled naked," so that all the steel shows Itself at once on the top eide of the blade, but this plan is not to be recommended. It is better to have iron on both sides of the steel which just shows itself along the edge and runs in toward the back to stifleu the blade and to form a constant cutting edge as the tool wears away. Aow. in buying a tool, bear in mind that the most steel may show In the one steeled naked, because all of it is in sight, but in the other case there would be a great deal more steel useful for carrying an edge, although it would show less be cause the bulk of it would be hidden be tween the iron. It will not do, there fore, to be deceived by appearances, The best plan is to depend upon a good maker tor steel aud suuicieut of it. roR insects on roses the following remedy is applied at the celebrated Mount Hope N urseries, near Rochester, itoil lour ounces of quassia chips ten minutes in a gallon of soft water, and after straining add four ounces of soft soap, which should be dissolved as It cools, staring well be fore using. With a small, clean painter's brush apply It to every in fected leaf and shoot. In fifteen or twenty minutes wash the plants with pure water, lobacco may be used in stead of quassia. For some insects a sprinkling of powdered hellebore will destroy or disperse them, the plants being previously well moistened. Oiling The Hinge, The old mail was oiling the hinges of the stove door, and carelessly singing one of Beethoven's best, when a middle- aged woman entered the station aud be gan : "Mr. Joy, are you a good man?" "Wall, tolerable tolerable," he re plied. "I never dropped a bad nickel into the street car box, and I don't go fishing on Sunday." "Mr. Joy, I am canvassing for money to buy Bibles, and so forth, for the Af rican heathen," she continued, as she exhibited a pass-book. "Are, eh I Does he seem to want a Bible?" "He does. He sits on the sands of his native shore and looks longingly this way." "Does, eh? Sitting right there this morning, I suppose?" "He is. How much will you sub scribe, Mr. Joy?" "Madam, I've got to lift a mortgage before noon to-day, and " "You will certainly give something,' she interrupted. "And I've got to meet fire and life insurance, pew rents, taxes, and" "Put down what your noble heart dictates," she said, as she handed him the book. He reflected for a moment and then asked : "Will five dollars convert a heathen a great big, two-fisted heathen, with a stiff knee?" "I I think so." He figured with a pencil on the bot tom of a chair, and said : "Five dollars into two hundred pounds of heathen is forty pounds for dollar. That is, less see um ten pounds for twenty-five cents, and none to carry. Divide the dividend by the divisor, cut off the cube root, carry nothing, and, madam, you take this quarter and convert ten pounds of hea then for me. That's all I can span no use talking ten pounds here comes his Honor." She went away puzzled and amazed, at his figures, and Bijah looked after her and mused : "I ought to have taken a m ltgage on my share of that heathen, but I'm just that careless in business aflairs." It is better to do right than to do ong if you hay the time. SCIENTIFIC. Alloys. The alchemists divided the metals into "noble" (gold, silver and others which do not readily tarnish on exposure to air), and "base," When a base metal was mixed with a noble one, the latter was said to be "alloyed," or alloyed in the ratio which the former bore to the noble. The term "allov" has been extended In signification so as to include all mixture of metals. At a temperature which reduces them to a fluid condition most metals will dissolve any other with which they are brougnt in contact, either quickly or slowly. Those which do not precipitate the dis solved particles, but hold them In solu tion till they cool and harden, form mixtures, many of which are almost new metals, and subserve a vast variety of purposes. Among those well known are Dell-metals, (copper and tin;, bronze (copper, tin and zinc), brass (copper anS sine), German silver (copper, zinc, nickel and iron), powder (lead and tin. etc.), type metal (lead and antimony, yellow sheating metal (copper and zinc,) etc. Gold and silver are alloyed with copper, in proportions according to the uses for they are designed. Some alloys can be made to resemble gold and silver, even in weight, so closely to oner facilities for counterfeiting. Alloys commonly melt at temperatures between those at which their constituent metals do so. Some serve to solder other metal by their melting surfaces and then Hardening In to a compact mass, All nations alloy their gold and silver coin, to make it hard and durable. The celebrated column in the Place Ven- donie, which the Paris Communists overthrew, was cast of gun metal bv .i .i . i - me um n apoieon, irom cannon cap- turea oy mm in uermany. This ten dency of the heavier metal to precipi tate or form layers was such that the contractor came near having his work rejected, because the portions first examined contained more than the stipu lated proportion of tin. Alio Vs. while often more brittle than pure metals, are usually better able to resist a steady strain. W ben composed of metals which melt at widely different heats, that which melts most easily can often he sweated out by heating the alloy to the temperature at which the metal liquifies. In this way silver is separated from copper. Lead, being melted in with the other metals, when the mass has cooled is eliquidated by heating to Its own melting point, when it brings the stiver witn it aud is then expelled Type-metal, like water, possesses the quality or expanding when it solidifies, aud thus forces itself into every cranny of the mould, making a very precise cast. Discovers of a Lost Art. A method of reproducing the famous because rare, fire gilded glass of the Egyptians has been recently patented, and from the results attaiued,it would appear that the inventor, if he has not discovered the ancient process, has devised an ex cellent substitute. Fire-gilded glass is glass into which gold Is so worked that many hundreds of years have failed to enect any change, or to tarnish the gold. the trustees ol the British Museum were so pleased with the result of the modern process that they accepted from the inventor, M. D'Uussey. specimens of his recovery of a lost aru The pro cess consists in introducing gold leaf or platinum into the body of the glass, and amalgamating the precious metal with the glass by means of a blow-pipe, an operation which also serves to produce a perfectly indestructible covering to the metal and the designs traced. The product so much resembles the ancient work that the method is likely to find a tolerably wide field of usefulness or. at least, of profit to its inventor. American Horses in England. The ex portation of horses from this country to England, for use on street-railways, began two years ago, and already over ,000 of the Canadian and Morgan breeds have been shipped from N. i . and from Quebec. '1 he English cart horse is too heavy aud slow for tramway service, and as English breeders have given their attention almost exclusively to cart horses ai.d blooded saddle and coach horses, they could furnish no animals suitable for the new want. l'he supply of light-built and enduring horses had been drawn chief! v from Ireland, but this source is almost ex hausted. The American horses were at first used only on street railways, but they are now becoming favorites for family use. The Anglo-Kussiau com plications have largely iucreased the demand this year, and it is expected mat the exportation will amount to many thousands more than ever before. In a recent lecture in London on the great ice age, Professor A. C. Ramsay, F. K. S.. Director-Genei al of the Geo logical Survey of the United Kiugdom, claimed a theory concerning the origin of lakes as peculiarly his own. This theory is that all lake basins owe their origin to the action of ice; that is to say tney nave been scooped out of the sur face of the earth by glaciers. He would not say that absolutely no lakes were otherwise originated; but he pointed out that such bodies of water were rare in localities where there were no moun tain masses which could have given rise to glacier. In treatment of epilepsy, small dose9 of airopia nave oeen used with marked success by Dr. Seidesdorf. English Celebrities. Disraeli is one of the best dressers in England ; be has on the average a plug hat a month, his trousers are usually of a light lavender, aud bis coats perfec tion in fit. His valet is a scrupulous about the arrangement of his curls, which are numbered ; in gorgeous dres sing gowns his wardrobe is not to be surpassed ; one of them is worth $3,000. He walks with his eyes cast on the ground, and takes no heed of little raga muffins who cry, "There goes Dizzy." The earl of Derby is in looks not unlike the late Tom Say res. His suspenders are never fixed to the proper height, consequently there is a piece of the bot tom of his trowser8 gone, owing to their dragging. He is a sloven ; very courte ous in manner, and when he opens his thickset mouth there issue masterpieces of English composition. His income is about $2,000,000 per annum. He suc ceeded, after many years, in marrying his first love ; they are both near the fifties. The marquis of Lome is losing all his good looks, he must weigh 200 pounds. He seems to spend his exis tence at auctioneers' sales, and on one occasion was seen to be turning over baby linen, but for what reason to this day cannot be explained. The Princess Louise is a universal favorite, and, unlike her husband, wears well. The Earl of Enniskillen is stone blind, and is the tallest man inthe House of Lords, measuring six feet seven inches. The present Duke of Wellington, son of the Iron Duke, sends for a piece of choloe black satin and cuts out bis own socks, after which they are stitched. They are on the model worn by his father. He wears two a year. Tennyson has never been known to crown his head with a stove-pipe hat. His Inverness cap after twenty years' wear, has as sumed its original color; his hair Is in a matted condition, and his hands are not always clean. Tom Hnghes Is to be found in his shirt sleeves; It is with difficulty he can be indueed to keep bis coat on in the House of Commons, of which be is a member. Gladstone is a connoisseur of old ivory earrings. He has not a false tooth In his head. DOMESTIC. Pea Soup. Use half a pint or seven ounces of dried peas, for every two quarts of soup you wast. Put them iu tiiree quarts of cold water after washing them well ; bring them slowly to a boll ; add a bone or bit of ham, if you have it to spare, one turnip, and one carrot peeled, one onion stuck with three cloves, and simmer three hours, stirring occasionally to prevent burning; then pass the soup through a sieve with the aid of a potato masher, and If It shows any sign of settling, stir into it one tablespoonful each of butter and flour (mixed together dry), this will prevent settling; meantime fry some dice of stale bread, about two slices cut half an inch square, in hot fat, drain them on a sieve, and put them in the bottom of the soup tureen in which the pea soup is served ; or cut some bits of very hard stale bread or dry toast, to use instead of the fried bread. By the time the soup Is done. It will have boiled down to two quarts, and will be very thick and good. Chickex with Rice. Truss a fowl, as for boiling, putting a couple of onions Inside it, lard it with bacon, and put it to braise in a stew pan, with slices of bacon, carrot, onion, sweet neros, spices, pepper and salt to taste; moisten with some good stock, and during the process of cook in? frequently baste the breast of the fowl with the liquor. Pick and wash quite clean half a pound or rice, put it to boil in plenty of salted water; when the grains begin to burst drain off the water, cover the rice with a damp cloth and let it remain by the side of the fire till quite dry. Take equal parts of the liquor in which the fowl is braising, and tomato sauce, and work them into the rice with grated cheese, until you get it to a proper consistency, then make a border with it round the dish, lay the fowl in the middle with a Utile of the gravy under it, hold a sala mander over the breast to give the lard ing a nice color, and serve. The following is a good recipe for Scotch kail : Take one and a half gallons of cold water, two teacupfuls of barley, and about 2 lbs. dough; put them iu a saucepan and let them boil an hour and a half ; then take a few good sized leeks, a stock of greeus and one of savoys, a Swedish turnip, aud a grated carrot, clean washed aud cut down, aud a few sprigs of parsley ; let them boil another hour; then three good sized potatoes, and let them boil another half hour, taking care the whole time not to let them off the boil, and only let them boll gently to preserve the flavor of the broth. Add salt Immediately after the vegetables, and a little pepper, and you will have a first-rate potful of broth or Scotch kail, as they are called ; and we do believe in the old Scotch proverb. "There Is nothing like kail for a family." A Universal Cement. Curdle skimed mil with rennet or vinegar, press out the whey, aud dry the curd at a gentle fire as rapidly as possible. Vt hen quite dry, reduce to a very line powder. Then take of the powdered curd, ten drachms; powdered quick lime, one urachm ; powdered camphor 8 grains; mix; keep in tightly corked vials. To join glass, earthenware, etc., the powder is made into a paste, with a little warm water aud applied im mediately. Jamaica Ginger Bkkr. One bottle of Jamaica ginger extract, six quarts f water, one ounce of cream tartar, one pound sugar; stir well until the sugar Is melted ; add the grated peel of one lemon ; heat until warm, but not hot ; add one tablespoonful ot brewer's yeast; stir well and bottle; wire down the corks. It will be fit to drink iu four or five days. Tomato Socp. To one pint tomatoes canned or lour large raw ones cut fine, add one quart boiling water and let them boil. 1 ben add one teaspoon of soda, when it will foam ; immediately add one pint of sweet milk, with salt. pepper and plenty or buiter. When this boils add eight small crackers rolled due, and serve. E iual to oyster soup. "To wash quilts, comfortables, tick ings, sackings, etc., soak iu pure cold water twenty-four hours or more, then rub through warm water with a little soap and rinse well." it is worth trying. Coloring Kid Gloves. White kid may easily be colored black, purple or lilac, with a solution of one part extract logwood and three paryj brandy. Apply with a sponge and rub until dry. Rice PriiiNO without Egos. Take 1 quart of fresh milk, cup of raw rice, sweeten, and flavor to taste; bake 2 hours. Hard water becomes nearly soft by boiling. A piece of chalk will soften hard spring water. Royal Vlnltora, The United States has been frequent ly honored with Royal visitors. Wil liam IV., then a Midshipman on one of Admiral Digby's vessels, came over in 1782; so later, did his brother, the Duke of Kent, Queen Victoria's father, who commanded the garrison in Canada. Louis Phillippe, with his brothers, the Duke de Moutpensier and Count de Beaujolais, spent the four years between 1706 aud ISOOin the United States and Cuba. In 1803, Jerome Bonaparte, afterwards King of Westphalia, came to America, where he married Miss Pat terson of Baltimore. After Waterloo, the country was visited by another brother of the great Emperor, Joseph Bonaparte, ex King of Xaples and Spain, who settled down at Borden town, X. J., and lived for many years in opulent retirement Still another Bonaparte visited the United States after Napoleon's overthrow Prince Luclen, Prince of Caniuo, who was a hard student,especially of Ornithology, and helped Wilson to bring out his great book. The two sous of Mu rat, King of Xaples, settled here after their father's execution Napoleon, who married a grand-niece of Washington, and died in Tallahassee, and Lucien, who died only a short time ago. Louis Xapoleou lauded at Xorfolk, Va., in March, 1837, and spent some time in Xew York, whence he sailed to see his dying mother. In 1&12, the Prince de Joinville came to this country ; he re turned in 1861 with his son, the Duke de Penthievre, and his nephew, the Count de Paris and Dnke de Chartres, In September, 1860, the Prince of Wales, appeared in our midst as Baron Ren frew ; shortly afterwards came Prince Napoleon and the Princess Clotilde, ictor Lramanuers daughter. Queen Emma of the Sandwich Islands, visited the United States in 1366; in '70 Prince Arthur of England, now Connaught, In 1871 occurred the memorable visit of the Grand Duke Alexis; he returned again in 1877 with his younger brother, In 1S74, Kalakaua, ex-Mayor Colvin's friend, visited this country, and in 1876 the Emperor and Empress of Brazil their Majesties being the last Royal visitors the Republic has entertained, except the Russian Grand Dukes. Wbkk Mrs d ahd Bodt Ami Oct op Sorts, with cold extremities, yellowness in toe smn,eos tlvenes, dull headache, aril an ladlspositlon to stir aoout, be sure you are in tnr a Bilious at. tack, pringlnff frum a more or less Disorder-d Liver. Dr. Jayne a Sanative Pills will brtnir the Liver to a nealtbv condition and speedily re move all biliary distress. HUMOROUS. A BosTO! Giri Not many days since, in a Western city, a young lady of ten Summers was engaged in water ing the plants on the lawn. A lady stopped at the garden gate, and the following dialogue occurred : "Sissy, is Mrs. W at home?" "Did you address me, madam?" (severely). "Yes; IaskedUMrs.W at home." "Xo, madam. Mrs. W is my aunt, and Mrs. W is not at home." Will you tell her Mrs. M called ?" Certainly, madam" (graciously). "You won't forget the name?" "Certainly not, madam I am not mncl acquainted here, but I shall re member the name : I am a Boston girl." And she serenely continued to water the flowers. A feiexd of mine went, a few days back, to have a tooth stopped. The dentist advised him that he had better have the tooth taken out, and assured him that he would feel no pain if he took laughing gas. "But what is the effect of the gas?" asked my friend. "It simolv makes you totally lnseni ble," remarked the dentist; "you don't knowauytblng that takes place." Jtiy friend submitted ; but just previous to the gas being administered he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his money. "Oh. don't trouDle aoout that now," said the dentist, thinking he was going to pay his fee. "Xot at all," re marked the patient; "1 was simply going to see how much I had before the gas took enect." Mr. and Mrs. Kobobci.cs were in ecstacles over the new family bible. They entered their names in the column of marriages; then they entered the names of the children in the column of births, and then they looked at the blank column of deaths. "And now, exclaimed Mrs. Kobobulus, reflectively, "the one that dies first can record all the others that dies." Aud it was a Ions time before the little woman could see what her great stupid brute of a husband was laughing au A man more than half-seas over was observed one day supporting the parapet of the Xorth Bridge, Edinburg, shaking his head repeating to himself sadly : "It must be done, it must be done, And an old lady passing by thinking be contemplated suicide, said to niim : "What must be done, my man? "Must go home and face my wife,' was the woeful answer. A gentleman traveling upon horse back came upon an Irishman who was fencing in a most barren and desolate piece of land. "What are you fencing in that lot for. Pat?" Said he. "A herd of cows would starve to death on that land." "And sure, your honor, wasn't I finclng it to kape the poor bates out or it?" "Wht don't you look where you're going?" simultaneously said two blind men who ran against each other the other day. A passer-by bad to Interfere to keep them from a quarrel, and as they separated they muttered that lu "a crowded street a man ought to keep his eyes about him." "Give me twenty cents' worth of your poorest tobacco, said a compara tively wealthy resident of Auburn to the corner grocer. "1 am afraid you could at smoke our poorest tobacco. remonstrated the salesman. "Ob, that's all right," replied the purchaser. "I don't smoke myself; 1 want it for my old mother, hue does love a pipe so much I "Xow, miss," said a photographer to a young lady whom l.e had seated in the chair of torture, "you just look at me as If I was your young mau an' you'd met me unexpected like you Enow. Rev. John Jasper sticks to it that "the sun moves." We believe him We have seen it move a corner loafer over to the other side of the street, when no other power could so have moved him. "Keep your seat, sir," is what a lady remarked to a chap who fell on the side walk and appeared to be in a hurry to get up aud let her pass. Crossed-eyed men are naturally x-siguted. An ink-liked plane a page of MS. What Voire Indicate. There are light, quick, surface voices that involuntarily seem to utter the slang "I won't do to tie to." The man's words may assure you of his strength of purpose and reliability, yet his tone contradicts his speech. Then there are low, deep, strong voices, where the words seem ground out, as if the man owed humanity a ;rmlge, and meant to pay it some day. That man's opponents may well tremble, and his Irieuds may trust his strength of purpoe and ability to act. Therti is the course, boisterous, dic tatorial tone, invariably adopted by vul gar persons, who have not sufficient cultivation to understand their own insignificance. There is the incredulous tone that is full of a covert sneer, or a secret "you- can't-dupe-ine-sir" intonation. Then there is the whining, beseech ing voice, that says "sycophant" as plainly as if it uttered the word. It cajoles aud flatters you ; its words say : "I Ioveyou ; I admire you ;you are every thing that you should be." Then there is the tender, musical, compassionate voice, that sometimes goes with sharp features (as they indi cate merely intensity of feeling) and sometimes with blunt features, but al ways with genuine benevolence. If you are full of affectation and pre tence, your voice proclaims it. If you are full of honesty, strength and purpose, your voice proclaims it. If you are cold and calm and firm and consistent, or fickle and foolish and deceptive, your voice will be equally truth-telling. You can not change your voice from a natural to an unnatural tone without its being known that you are doing The Secret uf Buainesa Success. It is claimed that Vanderbilt exhibited great nerve and shrewd business sagacity in the purchase of stocks and railroads controlled by bun. Yet. whenever he made an investment he received in return an equivalent either as hia own or a collateral security. Dr. K. V. Pierce has invested many hundred thousand dollars in advertising, depending entirely upon the superior merits of hia goods for eecuri'y. The unparalleled popularity of his family med icines, and the annual increase in their sale, attests in arguments stronger than words of their purity and efficiency. If the blood be impoverished, the liver slUKRian, or there be tumors, blotches and pimples. Dr. Fierce Golden Medical Discovery will effect a speedy and perfect cure. If the bowels be constipated nse Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pnreativ Pellets. Debilitated females suffering with those pecu liar dragging-down srnsaUons and weaknesses, will find Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription a safe and certain remedy. Prompt relief and a permanent cure have so nnivernally followed its nse, that the doctor now sells it under a positive guarantee. Oakiasd, Douglass co., Oregon, Jan. 23, 77. Da. PuacK, Buffalo. N. Y.: Dear Sir. Your Golden Medical Discovery has cured my daughter of goitre, after inanv physicians had failed. Inclored please rind L50 for a copy ot The Peoples Common Sense Medical Ad is- r. With as it takes toe place of tbe family physician. Yours truly. Aabos Alls. Mt. Vwmsou, Ohia, July 10, 1S76L Da. PiEBCB, Buffalo, N. Y.: Dear ttir. Four bottles of your Favorite Prescription has entirely cored my wife. We employed three different physicians and many remedies, but found no relief. With a thank ful heart, I am Ever Your Friend, Acocsr Waaaixa. Commercial Trnveltne; la rfc A month or two ago Mr. Alexander Bister was out In Arkansas, traveling as a salesman. One morning, as he emerged from the door of his hotel, be heard the report of a pistol and a shot whistled by his ear. lie looked around and saw a man aiming at him with a revolver, lie turned to fly just as an other shot cut through his hat, but as he did so a second man hit him upon the shoulder with his fist and nearly knocked him down. A moment later Mr. Bister clenched with his new ad versary, and a rough and tumble fight began. The stranger removed a hand ful or two of Mr. Bister's hair; then he kicked his left leg three times with vio lence; then he put bis elbow against Mr. Bister's third rib and scroughed it in with intense force. Bister resisted, but as the man who shot at him would hit him on the head with the butt of his revolver, whenever Bister happened to get on top, he had not really a first-rate chance. Pretty soon the combatants rolled over in the gutter, with Mr. Bister underneath, lying in the mud. While be reclined there, his antagonist took bold of air Bister's nose with his teeth, andchewed it as if noses were his favorije diet and he were seriously hungry. Whn he let go the other mau tapped Mr. Bister's skull a few times with his pistol, anil than the two picked up their victim and soused hi in in thecanal,from which they fished him a few moments later, by inserting a boat-hook in the back of his coat. As they dragged him out, nearly dead, the man with the pistol picked up Bister's hat, and after study ing intently the name pasted upon the inside of the crown, he said : "Why, see here, Harry, there' some mistake. I'm afraid we've got the wrong man." "I say, you sir, is your name Alexan der Bister?" Mr. Bister gasped out that it was. "Well, it's too bad," said the man. "Xow, do you know, I mistook you for Judge McGath, of Little Rock, who cheated us in a land claim." "Do I look like him?" asked Bister, in a faint voice. "You're as much alike as twins. It's a thundering shame. I hope you'll ac cept my apology for treating you so im politely." "It occurred to me that It was rather impolite," whispered Bister; "but don't mention it How's your own health, and your family's?" "And what makes it worse is that you're a stranger," returned the man. "I'm afraid you'll gather from what has occurred that we are wanting in affability out here." "The thought might, perhaps, have entered my mind after I had had time for reflection," said Bister ; "because in the east, where I live, it is a very rare circumstance that a person indicates his affability by biting off the human nose. But I'm a forgiving man ; so we'll let it drop. Beautiful weather we are having now !" "I'm mortified about that nose," said the man. "But if you'll come up to drug store a minute, 1 think I can make it hold together with sticking plaster." "Is it much hurt?" asked Bister, feeling it tenderly. "It's a perfect nasal ruin," said the man. Harry, 1 think you chewed him a little too hard. Why didn't you bite him somewhere else?" "Perhaps you'd like to take another bite now," said Btster;"you may gnaw away at the calf of my leg if you think it would make you feel better. The nose is of no consequence. Perhaps it is a good thing to have it changed a little, for then I won't look so much like Judge McGath. This seems to be a fine farming country. How are the crops?" "You appear to be a perfect gentle man," said the Iran. "If you come up to our hotel I'll introduce you to some of our friends." "Certainly," said Bister; "I'll go right up if you'll get me a pair of crutches and a sling for my arm. I'd be glad to know them. Maybe they'd be glad to tire four or five shots into me or hold me under a pump? I want to oblige everybody. Do you often have these little laughable incidents in your town?" "Most every day, in some shape or other. There are not eight whole noses iu the place except the womeu's." "How charming! When the news spread I should think the tide of emi gration would flow right In. You say you don't care to bite me again ?" "O no!" "Don't want to empty the other bar rels of your revolver into my back?" "No; I think not." "Maybe you'd like to kick me or roll me in the gutter? Xo, well just toss me in the canal a couple of times again as a kind of an expression of esteem.' "It's hardly worth while." "And you think you don't care to pound me with a brick or anything for five or ten minutes?" "I rather think not." "Well, then," said Bister, "I think I'll crawl up home and fix up a little. Good-bye ! If you ever come ou East stop and see me. Come and stay a week and bring your relations. Good bye!" And Bister went to the hotel, packed up and fled in the first train. He wrote home that the Arkansas trade would probably be opened more successfully by an iron-clad man and a bull dog than a salesman who was not fond of war. A Terrible Fate. In India lepers are occasionally buried alive. When a leper is past all hope of living more than a few days or weeks, his nearest relations arrange, with his approval, for his Immediate interment. Self-destruction by burial is called lamaah, and is regarded as so highly meritorous that the disease Is sure to die out in the fami'y of the vic tim. So lately as 1875 a leper named Oomah, living and lingering at Serohi, entreated his wife to put an end to his misery. A bunnia, or tradesman, was accordingly engaged to make the neces sary arrangements, which simply con sisted in hiring a couple of laborers to dig a hole, into which they thrust Oomah, he consenting to his own death. The Durbar, coerced by the British Gov eminent, at last took cognizance of this incident, and fined the widow one hun dred rupees. The bunnla was sentenced to three years imprisonment, and the grave-diggers each to two years; but it is very unlikely that they will undergo half that punishment.. A curat California achoolma'am is said to be able to "sing hymns like a ten-octave angel." Tk. Pr.Te.tlo of Terrible Disaster. .. t, most deadly no disorders. ev" , , . forms of lung disease, involve such a teemeo dous destruction of orgauio tissue as those which fasten upon the ulneys. . S "" dies when they Ucome chrome-sod wmo are so liable to assume that PTeo,B,rLtf wreck the system. To prevent this tmble disaster. ur- b. had. -po. h. nrst maiulestauon oi :LT Bttt-rs, which experience u i""" . . . . nf inirjartinaT too and regularity to the organs ot uru.aUon. as well aa to the liver, stomach and bowels. An- . . -i i, .. tk,. madunne. natur- otner oeuena . . . ally consequent upon its diuretic action, is the . 3 Iv.- v.iw nt imnnnues which eiiuiiuauou iruiu mm - - . . beget rneumatwm. gout, drow, and other maladies. By increasing the activity of the Kidneys. U augments the depurative efficiency of those organs, which are most important outlets for the escape of such imparities. Biuocsircaa and Liver Complaint cannot WH nUlllMI , LUSU.. m act upon the stomach and liver without nauae- r : m1w Mfa ,nd barm- j , i u.nrinka PUIS, lliev ating or griping. k- ---t : - less, containing no mercury or other injurious drug, and may b. nsed by the most daucats person, xoi aaie dj au xi Rheosaatlam u'evi? Cmred. Durang's Rheomatio Remedy. " the great . l - J. -nil nnalhw), mM Ult CSSS of KheumtJm on the face of the earth. Pnce 1 a bottle; sis bottles, ti. Sold by all Drug gists. Send for circular to Helphenstine 4 Uentley, imigguus. w iuukwu, . DtLC-.W.BKX" CBE.HBIT CtfA Hndacb. Norvoe Basdachs, Dr turtle Hwlacb N-ormlia. HtniMW- aod Sline csrsasr ease. Trie tucmottf V'.SUi DraasuU. omca.Mo. W S. Kutaw at Baituaora The Permanent tuhlbitlosu The International Exhibition at the Centen nial grounds, Philadelphia, which is now open for the season of 1S78, is attracting a goodly share of public attention and patronage. The exhibits make an excellent display, and are highly interesting. Among the special attrac tions 'the musical features stand out with de served prominence. Evety Tuesday. Tnure H nd Katurdav. Haesler's band discourses excellent music, end every day there are cor net solos by Mr. VYm. Northcott, and recitals n th irraat Roosevelt oriran by Tbeo. C Knauff. The telephone and phonograph ex periments are continued and are both curious and interesting. The visitors to the Exhibi tion will soon have a rare treat in the shape of Bergmann'a Automatic Wonder, a piece of mechanism representing a vuia. wuu gnsi mui. rl mill hiackamith'a shoo. etc.. all tenanted by automatons who move about and act almost lxae numan beings. The Great ayruig Medicine is Hoofiand's German Bitters. It tones the stomach and assists Digestion. It areosea the Liver to healthy action, and regulates the bowels. It purines the Blood, and gives vigor and strength to the whole system, dispelling all Dyspeptic symptoms, with its loss of appo tite. 8ick Headache, languor and depression. It mfnaea new life and energy into the whole being. All suffering from deranged digestion at una tune should taae iioonaua s uanwi Bitten. They are sold by all Druggists. Johnston, Uolioway Co, 60 Arch street, Philadelphia. Sellable Dry (,uU House. We notice that B. F. Dewees, 725 Chestnut street. Philadelphia has been appointed Aeent for the very celebrated Doable Warp Black aiika. These gocds are said to be almost ever lasting in wear, and me very cheap. They vary in price from tl.25 to $2.00, bat sold formerly st from i'l to fci per yard. If yoa want auy kind of dry goods, ante for samples. Aa Ait; J u 'ng Fact. A large proportion of the American people are to-day suffering from the effects of Dye pepsia or disordered liver. The result of these diseases upon the maawos o intelligent and valuable people is most alarmiue, making life actually a burden instead of a pleasant exist ence of enjoyment and usefulness as it ought to be. There is no good reason for this, if yon will only throw aside prejudice and skep ticism, take the advice of druggists and your friends, and try one bottle of linen's August Flower. Your speedy relief is certain. Millions of bottles of this medicine have been given away to try its virtue, with satisfactory re sult in every case. Yoa can buy a sample bottle for 10 cents to try. Three doses will re lieve the worst case. 'Positively sold by all Druggists on the Western Continent. WELL SlI TE1 TOR PC BMC EXHIBITION!. New edition ai Cr now ready, giTim greily KcHinced Pric. Tbs rellowlfis H s Ht of th !lirrnt rrartxa of tmt snnda. with sriros annexed. whK-e ba bn oia isa-ling tb niBrtvt a number of rrs. and or thir sniform oxeoltaK. Boear! f, a ft wfctolv incnauas patrottafo and nmmrr teatimomalM of moric Soliciting a har of roar favor, with a rarest sf lilt rlMi good la svorT r-p-ct. w- r-n-;n. Vosratralv. H I E V CH RIT. Sols Prusnoiora, Bl N.-rtaJd. M., fauaiplua BAILIT B rCBI ITS-- X - XX " III x m 17 . IS s a - xxxx ix rnrptiiTiLLr.n wiiisii in I'iiPPER 1'1ST1I.LEP WHISKEY tlUl DE. STIVER'S ToNIC HKHH BITTERS t a A 'ts Ltmt f Kztrm fiM Imvorud Ud$. Tf yos d-vire Sample of any of the o'mt. wo ihali tmko ploaaaro la Madias Umb, All good fruzd I Mired . B. 10 PIANOS A-othT bsttl. o. hl-h pric-. (J payi V itr on the n'4'n..p..hsvi r iiwl. y Ufori bo-inf PIANO or uKtsAN rttw1 my lt t -tr- niir; lowest pr-.ct ever i-n, nttwit uce?ful hon in America; cnmncJ lw jrt-sra c without WAR 'l'r: n -w ly ei.w.iw ORGANS rnfral Firs Br-erh Loading flan. inrt-Brr-l frn 13 up Ui-abl tUrr-i. frum 8 3 . '41 op. Uu,... Kifl-e and Pis,,i of ,! approt-d Ki.nlnh and Amrnru nik.. Pper and Vraxa Sh-ll.. Wa4. Capp. nr. Prico oa applicatioa. Liberal dueoiuiu to dealer. JOS. C. GRUBB & CO., 712 MAEKET ST., PHILADELPHIA.. cmscioFnans AIT MKTEK.1 ft Lin FA. L J. HAECT.U4CtMxan- rbtltvl n. W P-U mm, As mmtd ALLED! Oil lawn Catalaf .Hoax aaai.w Km T u. I Z -L. , Hi I I I - ESTABHSlIIi!) 1S40. S. M. PET TEX GILL & CO., ADVERTISING AGENTS, 37 Park Row, New York; 701 Chestnut Street, Phila delphia and 10 State Street, Boston, Receive Advertisements for publication in all the Newsoapers and Periodicals in any part of the globe, at the publishers' lowest r ites. ADVICE as to the most judicious advertising', and the value of advertising mediums, the best manner and time of doing it, and as to everything that will promote the success uf the aJvertiser. ESTIMATES for one or more insertions of aa advertisement in any number of papers for warded on application. OUR NEWSPAPER DIRECTORY, containing the names and description of more than 8.000 Newspapers and Periodicals, will be forwarded free of charge to all our customers on application, and to all others on receipt of the price, $L0O OUR BUSINESS is conducted upon a system founded on an experience of more thai one-quarter of a century, combining the most favorable advautagea with the most economical expenditure. VEGETINE. Will Cure Bheumatism. Uaaasa. fee. 1, lgrj. Ms H R Snrraira, Boston, ms.. : i.r sia. I li-rl vplT Indebted to vonr sell ut medicine. VrognNa. lor what It has -lone lor me. J Dave uer-n s'iuj-: w naavHATlsM all niT We. Was at aclted with U ik-w jrears ago. aod suffered temWe pains In my rhfsi, ha,., and Pnibi fur six or ttgtit mouihs at whim time 1 commenced us r gom-oson tbeadvhe uf a friend, who had been entirely cured by li, I bad scarcely used a bait buttle until the pais, bad left me, and my general health beiran to Improve rupl ly und--r the Influence of this grrat blood purifier. 1 bad also sufTered dreul fully from a NasaL Ctb lor seven or elht year. Alter taking the llrat bottle of VtugTi.sg I noticed a great cnanve I T the better. Tue constant pain and bt-avinesfttbat I hid over my eyes for yearn disappeared, and the discharge ot mucus from the he-d cea-f-d. My app tite g-,i belter, and strength seemed to come with every dose of medl Ine. Too much cannot be said is Its favor: and I always i axe pleasure In r c ta mendlng It to my tr ends who may be suffering from any disea of the blood, tor I lea aaliatted U tbey try it lUey are sureof a cure. 1 am. very respectfully, yours. J. 11. UHODES. Manager Western Union Telegraph ornce. tr. baoa. O. VEGETINE. Will Cure Bheumatism. CoLcasi-a, O., I'eb. 14, lsTT. H R. SrrvgNS : Dun sm I wish to Inform you wbut Vtog. tiki has dooe for my family, alghteea months mo my daughter bad a severe attack of l;snu- atiss. and a trleud wnu had used tue xa tins advised h. r lo try it. and sue did so w in perfect success, for alter using a few tottl-svf it she became entirely cured, lam ni.aelf at the present time, usli-g the Vioktinx for Kmc mtim wllb good success. My oilier daughter bas also used ib Viubttkb for LartKnu ai,d Mvavous Dksiutt, and bus been greatly beue ntted by lt use. 1 bav al-o recommended It to many others with giod success; and 1 honestly bell -ve that the Vaoanse la llie best n.ed.tlue for the abote named diseases that there Is. and I always wUb lo keep 11 la my house as a f.niuiy medicine A- klsTLEK, Xo. 14 West Pulton sc. tultuuuua, i. VEGETINE. a Family Medicine. l.NciNNari, o., April II, iirr. Xa. H. Tt STVvvis : itntr Sir. I nave been troubled and suffered a great deal Irom Caiarrh. I have tried many remedies; tney did not cure me, and beneflted me but very Utile: and, dear sir. by using your medicine called vegeline I have been cured. My til- ce was cured eutlrely of Kneuaiallsm by u ln your medicine. Vegetlne, so she Is able to attend to ber studies at school. Mie feels very thankful for your medicine, for sue bas been a great suDerer from hbeumatlsm. I would say to one and all. liy tbe Veelme for aucUusu. plaints, a few bottles will cure you. V.Hu respect, yours trulv. IVI1 AKShT, tLlZABhlU AK-VST (bis wife). 1J1 Bavonville at. JESSIK CORT (tits niece), kverell St., Cincinnati, O. Mr. Arnet Is a larije real eslale oater. a weaiiby mm. aa old resident, and well known In I'lncltiuutL. Bheumatism is a Disease of the Blood. Tbe blood In this disease Is fouid to contain so excess of ribrtn. Vegeline sets by convert ing the blood from lis diseased condition to a bealtby cumulation. One bottle of Vegetlce win give rellei. but to effect a permanent cure It mu: I be taken regularly, and may take set. eral oou es. especially In caac&of lungaiabdiag. I'OREIV.1 REPORTS. 1aWsoN a BAil fcK. Prescript Ion Druggists, Chicago. IIL Veg Hue i biguly npuaea uf by aU who have tried iu JOSEPH W II. LARD. Drosglsi and Chemist. Chicago. III. Ken a great deal of egeliue. thi it gives good satuu action lo all. T. P SMITH CO.. DLirns!ng Pharmacists, chlrazo. 111. Vegatlue sehs firs -ra'e gives good aatiafac tlon, and U a good medicine. Pr- pared oy H. X. STKVKXS. Boston, Haas. Vegetlne is Sold by all Druggists. 37 Thoae) answering- an Advertisement will confer m tavor upon the Adverttaer and the Publisher by statins; that they saw theadver tiaement In this lournal I Darning the paper) Representative Business Houses OP PHILADELPHIA. II Ml OPEN FOR THE SEASON Ol' 187. Sup-Tb TJlAp'.ar of fcthtbits, with Mai-oluery is ni'-tio--' Mr WILLIAM NORTIH OTT. th inimitahl-C-r-nt Da r. ii l P rt- nuance on the lir u,l K -v-ll urgau, br MR. TlltO.C. k.NAl l ', 0.. GRAND CONCERT On TTKSI A Y. Til TRSTM Y .M SMTUI-AT AtrvrntMMi ty II nl-r txU.Liliot. lti, Mr. JoUrlL lla-wler. M itc-tl Lir-ctur. Th irt- mt ln . !ion of th Ag ; th EIio Ctstu ritelpt', Gray mad Belt TKLEPHOaN KM in rctk!..iv-r.tim, FREE TO VISIT". cntpftenl anilmrit in h;rt to fftpi.tiii Mi RS. !li-ir I In 'irvu ttf cut. KNN:-YLV.SI 0LLKt.Ml IH..N ML t li I liKKY 'Ft. -nty-iliuM Anntuti , o. '"T"- 7. Tii n-Kulnr Wint-r -t-i..n f-r 1.-C- ; wtli c.nt-n-iK-f on Turstlii, (i'ii4r !. V-7, an-i cutitiiiiM nmth, in in nw atM r-'tiinn-ii. w ,.iJt- butMiiitr. on Twlfth n !!. below An n. ! bt h thv I ,.,1- haa ju-t he-'O r n -... The xf and etjaii-rur-iit f tttc riMiii in thi lniit:ns, will ital. the V icn.tjr oflvr th IVutal tu.l-:it tlie a4.au-tair-t. ari-rriirta tr.nn Ifs-iur r -nt - th biif b cei it.- ami tnitrt:tr -atirtri t'r oti-r t hm.iirni i j ttu-iei.t ; rhuic iwnia with ur b an aixiuUanor of 11: (it that the nnt ilWirat "pr-raTii-n can b a. l-r..rm-l ib any brt f tti- n- m ; wt;l-turoihi Ll tri-'rtf niei-h.u,i. al and ch-mi-! ai 1 a large- and wll-liKlitel Ktitl wr-vfi)tih.ti Ii. vm r-f-rn. K'-r furrlie-r infn-n atioti a.i.tr--a 4. N". rfciiiilfi, Dm&, 117 laKktsN Strt, rniltuMphia. MACK-M XrW ilXD IHPFOTnUTHKOl IUK FAKLR KtAN ;fnt by mi) for - has th uiomi thoroneh nytrm of intru-t.'D nj an efriint c,!.rii1n-f cM rmi matrnmental nit-knii LECttt W.LMt:R.llia be.li.ut M.. Pbilad a JUST rUJ.LISHKl. PETTENGILL'S Newspaper Directory aceetiserFhasd-eook, For 1S78. Tk nana raanwlefo Xrntwmrfw tHr.rtary ever nas-llaaieal. awaai;rne- tne wants f knallJi-ra ass Aalvertaaera alike. It roatain sea Danes, with Information MKfTi inc aja differeut aaprr la th TnitM !tat aa-t British America, and coaaprehen.iT list of aroait ant Fumpraa and Aotralaaiaa'arnala Thi IMBECTOKY will be tent, p-wtag naM. t" anr addregs, for th verv low price of One lanllnr. S. M. PETTEMGILL & CO., 37 Park Row, Xew York. LANDSETBS' SEEDS ARF THffT BF.AT. T. LINDRITH Jt OW, 1 at S3 Month M1IH n rkUnatvlnnln.