A A
itf iff
B. F. SCHWEIER,
THI CONSTITUTION TH1 UNION AND THI ENFORCEMENT 07 THI LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor,
VOL. XXX.
MIFFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNTY, PENNA.. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 6. 1876.
NO. 49.
7 $p WP w4y
G0I5G SOFTLT.
She nuke no moan above ber fa Jed flowers.
She will not vainly atriTe against her lot,
Patient abe wean away the alow, sad boon.
As if the ray they bad were quite forgot ;
While stronger finger natch away the sword.
And lighter f oototepa past ber on the ways.
Yielding snbmissiTe to tbe stern award
That said, ahe most go softly all her days.
She knows the poise is beating quickly yet.
She knows the dream is sweet and subtle
still.
That straggling from the cloud of past regret,
Beady for conflict lire Hope, Joy and Will ;
Bo soon, so soon to veil the eager eyes.
To dull the throbbing ear to blame or praise,
So soon to eroh rewakening sympathies.
And teach them she goes softly all her days.
She will not speak or more beneath the doom.
She knows she hsd ber day, and flung ber
cant,
The loser scarce the laurel may aranme.
Nor evening think the noonday glow can but.
Only, ob youth and love, as in your pride.
Of joyous triumph your gay notes you raise.
Throw one kind glance and word whan, at
your side,
Mie creeps, who moat go softly all her days.
AU Year Roumi.
POISONED.
A Stictmso Experiment is a London
Rkstaukakt.
Fifteen years ago I was In Loudon,
living on a slender pittance and much
troubled In the matter of dinners. As
a rule I dined in the middle of the day
on a chop sent in by a neighboring pub
lican, and made out with bread and
cheese and beer at night. But there
were times when the soul craved more
luxurious living. Those times gener
ally coincided pretty accurately with
the advent of quarter day, and then
one would go iu for a cut of Simpson's
mutton, or if more reckless for a din
ner at the Wellington.
Sundays were the worst days for din
ner arrangements. By breakfasting at
noon, indeed, one avoided the necessity
of any luncheon; but at about five
o'clock a desperate craving would come
over me, a gnawing vulture In the
tomach would unceasingly cry for food.
Frequently, I confess, an empty purse
coincided with an empty stomach, and
the vulture cried in vain; but some
times one had a few shillings in one's
iiocket, and then, even then, the pro
blem was a difficult one where to dice
on Sunday.
ne Sunday, I remember, my funds
wcie gettidg low, very low.. I had de
termined to remain in my lodging
and support nature on tobacco smoke?
but my hunger was too strong. I had
a few shillings left, and as the evening
wore on, and the cravings of my appe
tite increased, resolution broke down.
I put on my hat and hurried out In
quest of a dinner.
When I made up my mind to go to
tbe Recesses for a dinner, it was be
cause I inew there was no other place
open, the pieces of which would be
within my means. How dismal it
looked this Sunday evening, that long,
low room! its tables almost deserted,
save by one or two men here and there
nodding over a plate of biscuits. There
was pea soup that night I remember,
and it was rather good, too. The fish
was fishy, the joint reduced to a stump.
"Waiter," I cried, "can I dispense
w ith the other courses, and dine off the
soup?"
"If you wish, of course, sir," said the
waiter.
I had three helps of the excellent pea
soup, and in each plateful I put a
spoonful of dry mint. But after all, the
result was not exhilarating; it rather
clogged the pores, I think, that soup.
Miserable and depressed after my din
ner, 1 had spent my prescribed allow
ance. I couldn't go anywhere or do
anything. I could only go back to my
gloomy lodgings through the sloppy
street ami sit, and lonely chew the cud
of bitter meditation.
The idea seemed too horrible; and
yet now, as ever, there appeared to be
uo escape for me from the embraces of
this dull, melancholy fiend. I couldn't
help saying to myself, as I sat with my
chin resting on my hands, "I wish I
were dead !"
"I didn't mean to say it aloud, but I
suppose I must have whispered it audi
bly, for a man who was sitting oppo
site me at the table who bad been sit
ting there, smoothing his heavy red
moustache all the time I bad been din
ing, his eyes fixed on his plate looked
up of a sudden and gave me a quick
and searching glance.
I knew him then ; it was Medhurst,
an old school-fellow. As a boy he had
always been a mystery to us; that
quick, sudden glance of his had always
had such a strange effect upon all on
whom it fell. We used to say he had
the evil eye, and wonderful tales used
to be told at school alout the effect of
Medhurst's look. Still, I was glad to
see him : any relief from the loneliness
and monotony of my life was pleasant.
He recognized me also, and came over
and sat beside me.
"Well," he said, after we had shaken
hands he had a strange, flabby, chilly
hand, which somehow sent an icy
thri!l to my very heart "well, so you
wish you were dead?"
Iid you hear roe?" I saiJ. "Oh, It
was nonsense, of course I often say
so. A foolish habit I have. I don't
mean it."
"It wasn't nonsense !" he aaid ; he
talked in a low, monotonous voice, In
telligible enough to the ear for which
It was intended, but not to be over
heard by others. "It wasn't nonsense,
but a very rational, prudent wish. I
wish so myself; and what is more," he
said. "I have the means to carry out
hoth our wishes."
I laughed uneasily. "You are jok
ing, I said.
"I never joke. Until now," he went
on" "the great deterring Influence
which has restrained those wise men,
who see the folly and emptiness of life,
who, measuring their feeble capacities
for enjoyment with their unlimited ca
pabilities for suffering would gladly
resign a possession which has. no ad
vantage for them the great deterring
influence has been the doubt whether
death be really a complete severance
of the body and aoul, whether, indeed,
there Is not a lingering capability of
feeling still hanging to the relaxed
nerves, a lingering consciousness in
the decaying brain; that, in addition
to the bitterness of death, one may
taste also the gloom of the grave, and
the horrors of tbe charnel bouse."
"Good heaven!" I cried. "What a
horrible Idea!" He fascinated me this
man. I would gladly have risen and
gone away; but he stopped me with
his eye.
"Listen." he said, "I have overcome
this impediment; I have opened the
gates of death to all maukiud. To you.
my young school-fellow, I will reveal
the secret; lest, tempted some day to
cross the boundary, I should leave
mankind as wretched as ever. Tou
see tills powerful herb; it is like mint,
is it not? the smell, the taste, every
thing Is like mint you would not
know them apart ; and yet In a small
quantity of powder lies a relief for all
the miseries of life. Don't shrink back
it is innocuous in small doses, produces
merely a pleasing languor; but in such
a quantity as a teaspoonful, it produces
lethargy; twice the quantity brings on
syncope; thrice, inevitable death. I
have often ventured as far aa the second
stage, but have always stopped short
of a third. And I have brought back
this much assurance from the world of
shadows: consciousness ceases alto
gether at the second stage. There are
no dreams In the sleep of death.
"The preliminary stage of lethargy
is delightful I often indulge in it; but
I have had a doubt sometimes whether
I might not possess an exceptional
physical organization; whether the
herb would produce exactly the same
effect on others. I determined to try
the experiment on a larger scale. I
came here to night to do it. I have
noticed that the frequenter of these
rooms, on pea soup nights, which are
frequent, takes one plate of soup, to
which he adds one spoonful of mint.
Well, I watched my opportunity. I
came here as soon as the rooms were
opened; and, whilst the waiter's back
was turned, I emptied the contents of
the plate of mint into my pocket, and
filled the plate with my own powder.
The experiment was a bold one, for I
might have caused the death of inno
cent persons. However, I persevered ;
the interests of science over power con
siderations of humanity. The experi
ment has succeeded.
Each habitue of
these rooms has swallowed his plate ofr of immediate dissolution. The
soun. his sooonful of nrecious herbs : yunS doctor 8Pr"K fron hu
each has gone through the state o
lethargy. 1 here are some now, yoi
observe, passing through that stage,
I threw an agonized glanie aroun.
Sure enough, there were two or thie
men lying back in their chairs, tier
heads sunk on their breasts, in a site
of complete lethargy.
"And." he went on. "I can seethe
symptoms of the approaching letlggy
upon you the dilated pupil of theye,
the expression of anxiety in the ace;
yes, all is perfect ; the symptoms J '
'But," I gasped, " hare talt three
tpoonuls !"
'Martyr of science !" he criepring-
ing up and grasping me by tr hand,
how carefully, how painfull; 1 will
watch every symptom of yo' declin
ing vitality! Dear friend, our case
will be an era in the bistoryf human
ity. Like Curtius you haveaped into
the chasm for the public wJ."
"But Isn't there an tUdote!" I
gasped ; "a remedy ?"
"There is none; and we there, you
would not go back from ttnoble path ?
My dear friend, imitate tl example of
the ancient Roman ; a quiude a seren
ity in your last hours isnuispensmie
for the proper noting of ,ur phenom
ena."
"But I wont die!" I sluted, getting
up. My limbs trenibledeneath me; I
felt the very chills of dth upon me.
1 won't I won't! Hei I screamed,
Send for a doctor r policeman.
Quick ! quick ! I'm poised !"
All the lethargic in jumped to
their feet, the waiters me running in,
the proprietor appeare pale and won
dering.
"I'm poisoned !" I smted ; prisoned
in the mint! Send foia doctor, you
fools ! do you hear V "
"Mad!"said aqulffoice; "mad as
a h oor felloJ he's suDject to
those fits. He'll fa' down directly;
look out for him?"
"But I'm not goli to have the char
acter of the house ten away for no
mad freaks. WhaK you mean, sir,
by attacking the qlity of my victuals
sir?"
"It was-he," I fluted, pointing to
my friend, "who v seeks to screen
himself by callinge mad. But goou
heavens! will youe a fellow creature
perish, perith peri:
'There, don't gravate him," said
my friend. "PuOlm In a cab and
send him to a po station ; he's sure
to have been advised for."
I was draggedid hustled from the
room and hurlento a cab. Two or
three policemad come up, and one
took charge of' inside, while another
mounted the b. I waa quiet now,
overcome by r struggles, and lay ex
hausted in therner of the cab, wait
ing the Insidis advances of the deadly
narcotic.
Presently J cab stopped. We've
got the chi they advertised for,"
cried the maoutslde to a policeman
who was louing at the door of the
police static" I
"The d'euyou have !" ci ied the In
spector, coog up "Then you've done
a good joto-nlght. There' fifty
pounds offrf now. Take him Fight
off to the aum at once. Let's have a j
look at histhough. Why this Isn't
the man all; this ain't Medhurst!
Low, you ght to have known better.
Red full 'UStache, drooping eyenue,
aaulline e why, they
are differ-
ent as ligfrom darkness.
"WhatI Medhurst mad?"
I said
a light biting In upon me.
"Yes, he been playing any of his
pranks i you. sir? miking believe
to give J poison, or anything of that
sort? W. h'8 the cunningest chap
in creation, that Medhurst. He's
small fortune to the police to bring
him back after his escape. He's quite
'armless, too, though he's always up to
so many tricks. Quite a gentleman
too. I've swallowed a pint or more of
his p'ison, just to please him, and then
he'd stand a bottle of champagne after
ward. That's how you ought to have
served him, sir. There you won't get
hold of him to-night, chaps; he's miles
away by this time."
I have never wished myself dead
since then.
Jmmt la Tina.
A young physician, having tried in
vain to get into practice, at last fell upon
the following expedient to set the ball
a rolling. He sprang upon his horse
once a day, and drove at full speed
through the village. After an absence
of an hour he would return, and carry
ing with him some of his instruments
thinking if he could impress his neigh
bors that he had practice, thev would
begin to place confidence in his ability.
A wag, who more than suspected the
deceit which he was practising, deter
mined to know the truth. He accord
ingly kept his horse in readiness, and
the next the doctor galloped by his door,
sprang on his steed and placed himself
on the young gentleman's trail.
The doctor saw the man following at
his heels, but did not, at first, evince
any uneasiness. At length, however,
he thought it advisable to turn down a
narrow lane. The pursuer followed on
like an evil genius; but the doctor was
not discouraged, as another road lay a
short distance ahead of him, down which
he turned. The other kept close to his
heels, and the doctor grew impatient to
return home. There was no house by
the way at which he could afford any
pretext for stopping.
In tbe meantime his saddle-bags were
with him, and he waj otherwise equip
ped for business, so that ha could not
return, in the face, of his neighbor,
withost exposing the secrets of the trade
in the most palpable manner. Every
bouni of his steed carried him farther
from his home, and the shades of night
begin to fall on hill and tower. Still
thesound of horse's hoofs were thun
dring in his ears, and he was driven
t his wits'end ; but just as he turned the
gle of a wood, he heard a low moan.
A man lay prostrate near the fence of a
tneadow, and blood gushed from a fear
ful wound in his arm. He had cut an
rterX with his eythe, and was in dan-
staunched the wound. Bandages were
applied, and his life was saved. The
pursuer had also thrown him 'elf from
his horse, and as the physician tied up
the last bandage, he looked up in his
face, and said,
"How lucky, neighbor, that I was
able to arrive just in time."
The wondering spectator was silent
with awe, and, after assisting the woun
ded man home, he told such a miracu
lous tale to the wondering villagers, as
secured to the young physician a repu
tation not only for skill, but also for su
pernatural prescience. Thus did the
merest accident contribute more to his
advancement than years of studious toil
could have done ; and the impertinent
curiosity of a waggish neighbor opened
for him a path to business which the
most influential patronage might never
have been able to provide for him.
Prof. Evens, of Hamilton College,
tells a good story concerning an inter
view which his grand uncle, Joseph
Ellicott, an Indian agent, once had with
the Indian Chief Red Jacket. Ellicott
and the Iudian sat down on a log which
happened to be convenient for the pur
pose, both being near the middle. Pres
ently Red Jacket said, in bis almost un
intelligible English, "Move along, Jo."
Ellicott did 60, and tha sachem moved
up to him. In a few minutes came
another request: "Move along, Jo,"
and again the agent complied and the
chief followed. Scarcely had this been
done when Red Jacket said again:
"Move along, Jo." Much annoyed, but
willing to humor him, and not seeing
what he meant, Ellicott complied, this
time reaching tbe end of the log. But
that was not sufficient, and presently
the request was repeated for the fourth
time : "Move along, Jo." "Why, man,"
angrily replied Ellicott, "I can't move
any further without getting off the log
into the mud." "Ugh !" said the chief,
"Just so white man. Want Indian move
along move along. Can't go no far
ther, but he 6ay 'move along.' "
The Ssjwtrrel's Dwet.
The red and gray squirrels do not lay
by winter stores; tbeir cheeks are made
without pockets, and whatever they
transport is carried In their teeth. They
are more or less active all winter, but
Ootober and Xovember are their festive
months. Invade some butternut or
hickory nut grove on a frosty October
morning, and hear the red squirrel beat
the "juba" on a horizontal branch. It
is a most lively jig what the boys call
a "regular break-down," interspersed
with squeals and snickers and derisive
laughter. The most noticeable pecu
liarity about the vocal part of It Is the
fact, that it is a kind of duet. In other
words, by some ventriloquial trick he
appears to accompany himself, as if his
voice split up, a part forming a low gut
tural sound, and a part a shrlM nasal
sound.
Visit Tvsir rarwata.
Never allow weather or want of time
or considerations of expense or conve
nience to prevent it,snort and otten u in
the same town, or if at a distance, make
it a point now and then to go buck to
the old home and talk about old times,
and tell them how yon are doing. They
are old now and are very much alone.
There are no young people about the
house tJ attract others, and most of
those of their own aire have passed
away; they need some break in the lone
nf their homes: everv visit of a
child is pure happiness, and when the
m Thow ana lai tnnr
fin. rmt will be that VOU had not
done more to make them nappy, and to
smooth their pathway to ttieir last
resting place. I. W. W. BalL
rat aad the Barker.
A bumobocs sxrrcH
i bad an invitation to a party one
night, and the press of business kept
me so long at the store that I found
rather late when I finally dismissed the
last clerk and closed the doors. It was
on the way to my lodgings that it oc
curred to me that I needed a barber's
services the first thing before going
home to dress, for I Imagined that
could dress my hair better to suit my
taste than the knight of the razor could.
I dropped Into the customary shop
and found three ahead of me, with two
others in the chair undergoing manipu
lations.
When they had been attended to the
other two took their seats. I glanced
at the remaining one; he was a young
Irishman of about twenty-three years
or so, and evidently a laboring man ; he
had a rough beard to shave and a shock
of red straight hair.
"Heavens." thought I, "if he should
conclude to have his hair cut! Then
would I indeed run the risk of being
late to the party."
With these thoughts in my mind
seated myself by bis side, and said
"Pardon me, sir, I am in a hurry and
wish to get shaved as quickly as possi
Die; it you will let me nave your
turn I shall pay the barber for what
ever you want done."
I'm agreed, sur," was the prompt
answer.
"I'm obliged to you, sir," said I, quite
relieved.
Sure, it Isn't in the nature of Pat
Ryan to refuse a favor to a gintleman
who proves himself as liberal as your
honor," replied Pat.
So I took his turn, and when the
Irishman was seated after I was done,
I turned to the proprietor and said;
Mr. Johnson, I shall pay for what
ever this gentleman requires at your
hands."
The barber nodded and a broad grin
overspread the face of Pat Ryan ; doubt
less the term "geutleman" which I ap
plied to him, amused him, and I hast
ened away, also smiling.
Aow. what took place after I was
gone was related to me by Mr. Johnson
when I came there two days later to
pay rat's bill and get another shave
myself.
After Ryan had been shaved, he re
quested to have his head shampooed,
and when Mr. Johnson remonstrated,
Pat exclaimed : "Sure, an' didn't the
gintleman say he would pay fur what
I wanted done ?"
The barber was obliged to admit this
fact, and Pat underwent a thorough
shampoo.
The tonsorial artist was about to
take off the wrappings, when his cus
tomer observed quietly :
"Mist her Barber, I think you may
currel my hair !"
"Come, my dear sir," said the operat
or in an offended tone, "Mr. Selwyn
scarcely intended that you should have
your hair curled."
"Mlstber Selwyn knows nothing of
my wishes or wants," was the smiling
response; "this matter concerns meself
intirely."
"But my dear sir"
"To the divil wid your buts," inter
rupted the incorrigible son of Erin,
rising in his chair and appealing to
thoee in the shop: "Gintlemen." said
he, "Some of ye wur prisint whin the
gintlemln tould the barber that be
would pay for all that I required done ;
didn't he say so?"
All declared this to be the truth.
"Well, thin, Mistber Barber, go on
wid your woruk, an' don't keep a gin
tleman waitin'," said Pat.
And amid rather loud smiles, Pat's
stiff hair was curled.
"There, now," said the barber, giad
to have done with such a troublesome
customer; but the Irish gentleman was
not ready to leave his seat yet, and lean
ing over till his mouth nearly touched
Mr. Johnson's ear, he said in a loud
whisper, heard by all in the shop:
" "Be obligin' enough to dye me mous
tache!" "The mischief!" exclaimed the Irate
shaver.
"So, sur, the moustache," quietly
observed Mr. Ryan as he dropped back
into his seat and closed his eyes.
Mr. Johnson gazed around at his cus
tomers half distracted, but by nods and
winks they urged him to humor the
man. With a sigh of resignation, he
began the new process just as Pat open
ed his eyes and with an inquiring
glance seemed to ask why he delayed
his operations.
The red moustache was turned into a
deep black, and the contrast between
it and the red beard was so ludidrous as
to create a hearty laugh from all as
sembled.
Instead of taking offence, the good
natured Irishman arose and observed:
"Let those laugh who win."
"Can I do anything else for you, Mr.
Ryan ?" asked Mr. Johnson, sarcastical
ly, as the Iiishman complacently sur
veyed himself in a mirror.
"YU, sir," was the reply. "I'll jlst
take a bath."
The horrified face of .he tonsorial
artist caused another laugh, In which
the author of it joined heartily, as he
followed an attendant to the bati-rooms.
While the "hard customer," as
Johnson called him, was at his ablu
tions, the customers quizzed the barber
unmercifully, but that Individual eon
soled himself with the idea of the round
bill he would make me pay for my in
discretion, as he termed it.
At length Pat came forth and re
marked that he felt as 'fresh as a daisy.'
What more can I do for you?" once
more asked the barber, doubtless think
inn that Ryan had exhausted his wants.
But who ever came off the best man In
an encounter of wit with a live Irish
man? "I think I'll teke one ov your best
cigars, Mr. Johnson," said Pat, with a
most serious face.
"Mr. Ryan this is too much," ex
claimed Johnson, now downright an
gry at the impudence of his customer.
"Air. Selwyn surely did not mean to
pay for a ten-cent cigar for your use !"
"Who said be did?" responded Pat
in a surprised tone; "But I thought
that you cculd surely afford to make
such a profitable customer as meself the
trifling prisint of a cigar."
"Mr. Ryan Is perfectly right," said
one of the gentlemen present, slyly
winking at the bothered barber, who,
seeing that the Iiishman waa In real
earnest handed him the weed, which was
accepted with a smile and not ungraceful
bow by the recipient, who then request
ed a light, which was given him. He
lit the cigar, and after two or three
whiffs remarked : "This is a rale illi-
gent article, and I shall recommend the
same to the b'ys,"
Another laugh followed this remark,
He then once more surveyed himself In
the gioss, and as a smile of fcuge satis
faction illumined his features he turned
to those present and said :
"Sure, gintlemen, me Molly will niv
er know me, but will take me for an 11
ligant gentleman entirely. Murther!
won't I have tbe fun wid her to-night."
He stepped toward the door, and was
on the point of going out, when an idea
seemed to strike him, and he turned
round again and thus delivered himself:
"Whiniver I come here again, an
any gintleman wishes to take my
turren I shall not refuse to tlirade!"
"Thank you," said Mr. Johnson, "I
am much obliged to you for your cus
tom."
A cunning twinkle appeared in Pat's
eyes as he took the door-knob in his
hand, and as he opened the door and
said : "Sum, an' ye don't look like it."
With these words he finally departed,
with a deafening roar of laughter fol
lowing him.
Mr. Johnson bore the terrible quiz
zing of his customers with tolerable
grace, and observed : "It will be my
turn to laugh when I present my bill
to Mr. Selwyn."
On the following evening Pat entered
the saloon again, butlo! what a change
bad come over him. His face wore a
serious expression, and with a bashful
glance at tbe barber he beckoned to
him and whispered :
"Could ye take the color out av me
moustache please ?"
What's the matter with it?" asked
Johnson, amused at the lugubrious face
of Pat.
"Mather enough, sur," was the reply.
"Me Molly went sore agen me whin I
prisinted meself before ber last night.
dressed in me best sthyle, and saluted
her wid; "How are ye me darlint?"
She jist sprang to her feet, and com-
in up to me cried 'What bcfrizzled
and parfunied blackguard is this thitt
comet fornenst me an' has the inci
dence to call me his darlint?' You see,"
he continued, dolefully, "she did not
recoynlze me at all, at all."
"It's meself your own dear Patrick,'
sez I, bouldly.
'My swatcheart, Fatric Ryan is a
gintleman, and not a monkey like yer
silf,' said she, an' wid that she sazed a
sthick of kiudlin' wood, and befoor I
could at all be on my guard she whacked
me a belt on the gob, gave me a lifther
in the lug, and then a counter hit across
the jugular, and, may the divil take me,
sur, if she didn't cause me to bate a re
trace whether I wud or no."
I am very sorry for you, Mr. Ryan ,"
said the barber.
Divil as sorry as I am," was the re
ply. "But could ye take the color out
of me moustache, plase? You sse I
took the kink out of the currels, but
divil the washing wiil laze the color In
the moustache,"
I am sorry to say that time alone
can remedy that," replied Johnson.
Time 1" cried Ryan, with a puzzled
look. "What do ye mane by that ?"
"As your moustache grows it will
come out in its original color, and you
cau trim it as it grows until all the
black is removed," said the barber.
Whirrah! Och! be me soul is that
so, Misther Barber ?" cried the delighted
fellow, as be grasped the other's hand.
You may depend on Its being a
fact," was the reply.
Howly mother of Moses !" said Pat,
dancing around the shop like one de
mented, "but I'm tbe happy man to
night;" then suddenly sobering down,
he once more approached tbe barber,
and in a confidential whisper said:
Do ye know that I was under the im-
preshun that the color would stick to
me all me life; that I was dyed in the
wool like a naygur?"
Mr. Johnson laughed heartily at this
confession and again assured him that
time and patience would set him all
right, which so delighted Ryan that he
repeated the Irish jig to the imminent
danger of some of the barber's furni
ture. But he cooled down again and
after once more expressing his thanks,
he prepared to depart.
"Call soon again," said Johnson,
For a moment a comical expression
rested on Ryan's face, then with the re
mark, "I don't think I will, Misther'
Barber, for ye see the results of me last
visit here are not of the most agreeable
nathure;good night, an' obliged to ye."
And he was gone to return no more.
This Is the tale as it was told me on
my next visit to the barber shop and I
cheerfully paid the bill that Johnson
presented, for I declared that the divert
isement I had derived from his recital
was worth the price paid for it.
Bleep ssd Dreasalaf.
Do we ever sleep without dreaming?
The question has been discussed both
by ancients and moderns. Hippocrates,
1 law, Lileonitz, Lescartes,Cauauis. and
other eminent physicians and philoso
phers take the affirmative. They hold,
substantially, that it is the body which
sleeps, tbe soul that dreams; that the
former needs rest and the latter does
not; that, physically fettered the soul's
natural expression is in dream. The
soul being immortal, incapable, inde
pendent of stay or stop, must necessari
ly and perpetually dream. Because we
do not remember our dreams Is no proof
that we do not have them. Persons on
waking will feel confident that they
have not dreamed, and yet during the
day some outward happening or passing
thought will by force of association re
call the dreams that they bad entirely
forgotten. It is even questionable if
dreams ever fjo entirely out of memory,
they may not be recollected for a week,
a month or a year, bnt they are some
time, though in so vague and shadowy
manner as to lose their identity.
Montreal Gazette.
tras;e Hn4i at Cards.
One recorded example of strange
hands at cards was testified in a very
complete way, to remove all doubts of
the good faith of the narrator. Thir
teen years ago, in the military canton
ment at Jubbulpore, In the East Indies,
five officers of her Majesty's Ninety-
first Foot assembled, four playiug at
whist and ore looking on. A brief nar
rative wes written in the names of and
signed by all five officers comprising
the lieutenant colonel, two captains,
and two ensigns of the regiment, and
transmitted to the editor of a London
weekly newspaper. The cards used on
this occasion had been played with be
fore and were shuffled and cut in the usu
al way. When all the fifty-two cards
had been dealt out, and th hands were
looked at, the combinations were such
as might well astonish the players.
The dealer was found to have all the
thirteen trumps (spades); his partner
had eleven clubs; his antagonist on the
left band had twelve hearts; and he on
tbe right had twelve diamonds! In so
far as the dealer's hand contained all
the thirteen trumps, we have already
noticed an instance of this kind ; but
the extraordinary thing U that each of
tbe other three hands was made up so
very nearly of one suit only. There
was a fair probability, for example, that
the dealer's partner (all the spades be
ing held by the dealer himself) would
have nearly equal cumbers of clubs,
hearts and diamonds, four or five of
each ; but that he should have so many
as eleven of one suit was certainly not
to be expected. And so of the other
two hands; there was a combination of
improbabilities so extraordinary as to
make the odds enormous against such
a phenomenon occurring in actual play.
The number of strange and exceptional
hands at cards which have actually been
held is very large ; but comparatively
few of them are publicly known, either
because tbe players do not deem it worth
while to put them in print, or because
they lie buried in publications, having
a relatively small circulation. One is
known as the "Yarborough hand." The
(or an) Earl of Yarborough once held
a hand containing no card above a nine,
and had reason to remember it on ac
count of some heavy betting that was
going on. Ever after that he held him
self ready fo bet one thousand guineas
to one guinea against such a hand being
held again. A practical arithmetician
calculated that the real odds are some
what larger than the Earl supposed ; and
yet the hand has been held sufficiently
often to obtain for it a distinctive name.
One whist player noted that he held the
king of hearts six times running, or
in six successive deals. The odds against
such a coincidence can be exactly cal
culated, but we have not the figures at
hand. Another recorded instance re
lates to the game of bezique, not to
whist; but it serves equally well as an
illustration. Two players, cutting for
deal, both cut aces; they tried again;
and both cut kings ; they cut again a
third time, and here appeared two
knaves. As a bezique pack consists on
ly of thirty-two cards all the twos,
threes, fours, fives, and sixes being re
jected the iuiprobabiliy of such a co
incidence Is not so great as in a whist
pack of fifty-two cards; nevertheless
the odds are calculated to be five thou
sand to one against the occurrence of
this particular event. A whist-player
would sometimes give much to know
how many honors are held by his part
ner; a fact which, of course, In honor
able contest, he can only guess approx
imately by the course of the play. Never
theless, calculators, especially the math
ematician Denioivre, have estimated
numerous probabilities in connection
with four honors of each suit. Such
questions as these have been answered :
"What are the odds against the dealer
and his partner having all the honors
between them?" "And what against
their holding the three honors, but not
the fourth?" "What are the odds
against the other two players holding
four, and against holding three ?" With
out going into particulars, we may say
that the odds in these supposed instan
ces range from thirteen against seven
up to twenty-three against one. All
the Year Hound.
Hecret Sewletles la rklsa.
In peaceful times the ranks of the
society are recruited by volunteers, but
when tbe league is preparing to take
the held threats and violence are often
used to secure members. Atsncbacil-
sisa man returning home finds a slip of
paper bearing the seal of tbe League
awaiting him, which calls upon him, at
a given hour to betake himself to a cer
tain spot, and warns him that the mur
der of himself and bis family will be
the penalty of disobedience to the com
mand. Sometimes it is said, also, that
one of the brotherhood insults a stran
ger on the road, aud, pretending to tiy
from the just consequences of his act,
leads theunsnxpecting wayfarer tosome
lonely spot where he is seized upon by a
number of brothers and is carried away
to the place where the lodge is held.
On the appointed evenings the reel nits
present themselves at the "City of Wil
lows," as the lodges are called, where
they are met by the "vanguard," who
carefully enters their names and places
of residence in a book kept for the pur
pose. The vanguard then gives orders
to form the "bridge of swords," where
upon the brethren place themselves in
a doublerow, and drawing tbeir swords,
cross them in the air in the form of a
bridge or arch. Under this arch the
new members are led, aud at the same
time are mulcted of an entrance-fee of
twenty-one cash. After this they are
taken to the Hung-gates where stand
two Generals, who introduce the "new
horses'' to the Hall of Fietelitv and Loy
alty. Here the neophytes are instructed
in the objects of the society; and,
finally, they are conducted into the
presence of the assembled council in the
"Lodge of Universal Peace." As a pre
liminary to the administration of the
oaths, the Master examines the van
guard in tbe 333 questions of the cate
chism of the society, and then orders
him to bring forward those neophytes
who are willing to take the oath, and to
cut off the heads of those who refuse to
do so. As the vanguard is supposed not
to bear the sword in vain, few decline
to take the oath, and the ceremony of
affiliation is proceeded with by cutting
off the queues of tbe recruits (though
this operation is dispensed with if tbe
members are living among Chinese who
are faithful to the Tartar rule,) by
washing their faces and exchanging
their clothes for long white ( esses as
tokens of purity and thecommrncement
of a new life. Straw shoes, signs of
mourning, are also put on their feet to
signify the death of their old nature;
and thus attired they are led to the
altar. Here some Questions with refer
ence to the immediate objects of the
League are put to the vanguard, d
then each member otters np nine blades
oi frrasa, ana an incense suck, wnue an
appropriate stanza is repeated between
each ofl'erinir. A red candle Is now
lighted, and tbe brethren worship hea
ven and earth by pledging three enps
of wine. This done, the seveo-stan-ed
lamp, the Imperial lamp and the Hung
lamp are lighted, and prayer is made
to the Kods, beseeching them to look
down upon the members and to accept
the incense burned in their honor. The
oath binding them to observe obedi
ence to the League, and to display a
spirit of fraternity, devotion and right
eousness toward the brethren, is then
read aloud, and is followed by each
member drawing some blood from his
middle finger, and letting it dropintoa
chalice partly tilled with wine. Each
neophyte then, having drank of tbe
mixture and repeated the appointed
stanzas, strikes off the head of a white
cock, as a sign that so shall perish all
unfaithful and disloyal brothers. And
now the ceremony of affiliation is over,
and it remains but for tbe President to
frive to each recruit a diploma, the
took containing the oath &.C., a pair of
poniards and three Hung coins. With
these emblems of their obligations the
new members return to their homes
at break of day. Fall Mall Gazette.
The EMeet r Marriage.
Marriage, if comfortable, is not at all
heroic. It certainly narrows and damns
the spirits of generous men. In mar
riage, a man becomes slack and selfish,
and undergoes a fatty degeneration of
his moral being. It is not only when
Lydgate niisallies himself with Rosa
mond Vincr. but when LadUlaw mar
ries above him with Dorothea, that this
may be exemplified. The air of the
tire side withers out all the line w ildinirs
of the husband's heart. He is so com
fortable and happy that he beitins to
prefer comfort and happiness to every
thing else on earth, his wife included.
l esterday he would have shared his
last shilling: to-dav "bis first dutr is to
his family," and is fulfilled in a large
measure by laying down vintages and
husbanding the health of an invaluable
parent. Twenty years ago this man
was equally capable of crime or hero
ism; and now he is ht for neither. His
soul is asleep, and you may speak with
out constraint; you will not awake him.
It is not for nothing that Don Quixote
was a bachelor, and Marcus Aurelius
married ill. For women there is less
of this danger. Marriage is of so much
nse to a woman, opens out to her so
much more of life and puts her in the
way of so much more freedom and use
fulness, that, whether she marry ill or
well, she can hardly miss some benefit.
It is true, however, that some of the
merriest and most genuiue of women
are old maids; aud that these old maids
and wives who are uuliappily married.
have otten more of the true motherly
touch. And this would seem to show,
j even for women, some narrowing influ
ence in couiionauie marrieu uie. nut
the rule is none the less certain ; if you
wish the piek of men and women, take
a good bachelor and a good w fe.
fonttill Magazine.
The Shswt ml Xotaaawmed.
The founder of Islam is displeased
with the conduct of his followers, and
has appeared in broad day-liht before
the eyes of the guardian of his tomb at
Medina. The hour of the vision was 2
P. v., just as Sheik Ahmed had con
cluded his prayers and returned to his
meditations on the Koran. What th
prophet said was in this w ise:
"Ahmed llofsain, my followers are
sinning. Seventy thousand of them
have died lately. Of that number only
seven have died in the faith. In con
sequence of the prevalence of such sins
as bribery, drunkenne-s, murder,
forgery, adultery, Ac, and the neglect
of fasting during Ramazan, God w ith
held rain. My instructions previously
given have not been heeded. Kings
have not ruled justly. They have all
become tyrannical. It has been revealed
to me that my followers do not fear the
anger of God, though the day of judg
ment is nigh. I prayed for ihe pan Ion
of my people. It has been revealed to
me that in 1295 II. darkness w ill cover
the face of the earth. It will commence
in the beginning of Jammailoosanee
and continue to the middle of Kiijjitb
a month and a half. During the pre
valence of this dense darkness Hizrat
1 in mam Mehndi, the last of the prophets,
will come to earth, and Jazrael will also
come to take up the Koran. Whosoever
will freely circulate this my revelation
will be protected by me on the day of
judgment. Whosoever doubts the reve
lation is an infidel and will go to bell."
Sheik Ahmed stoutly affirms his own
veracity, and wishes that his face may
be blackened both in this world and
the next if he is telling a lie. Of course
nobody doubts the word of a lineal de
scendant of Mohammed. The faithful
are, in conclusion, enjoined to fast three
consecutive days, when they may par
take of a little gnor, the same prepara
tion of sugar which the thugs used to
affect. Persistence in prayer and liberal
distribution of alms, and the circula
tion of the above document may, per
chance, avail to turn aside the wrath of
Allah. Pall Mall Gazette.
Betas; Serlafele.
A great deal of the calling and twit
tering and my-d earing have no more
real connection with sociability than
the flowers and feathers on a woman's
hat have with her head. They are
purely artificial, and tacked on by the
milliner. There is a vast deal of social
millinery, however, which passes for
nature's handiwork; and people are
often praised for tbeir fine social quali
ties merely because they are adepts in
the art of saying pretty nothings by
the hour, and exhibiting themselves In
other people's drawingrooms in an en
tertaining way. And, on the other
band, those who are eminently social
in nature and spirit are often con
demned as unsociable because they say
little, and do not care to exhibit them
selves and turn their hearts Inside out
for other people to admire. Perhaps
they are deficient in the graces of cul
tivated society ; they may not have the
gift of rapid utterance or sparkling re
partee ; they may find it hard to in
trude their thoughts and feelings upon
others while more variable natures
make the air vocal with their incessant
buzz. But behind tbeir reticence, and
beneath the disguise of modest and un
attractive ways, are kll the elements of
the truest sociability, which It requires
but the least penetration to discover
and the fit occasion to bring out.
Being sociable requires something
more than ceaseless chattering and
gadding about. It requires tbe culture
ami expression in all proper and help
ful ways of those thoughts and senti
ments which are onsellish, generous,
sympathetic and human. It means a
pervading interest in others and the
general good. It means the lively
commerce of mind with mind, and
communication of heart with heart, by
listening as well as by speaking; by
Urge respectively as well as generous
giving. And this sociability is just
what is wanted to redeem our social
intercourse and make our coming to
gether helpful, stimulative and ennobling.
BTWS EI BSH7-
Wisconsin produces 100,000 bushels
of cranberries annually.
It is estimated that the Sioux In
Dakota number 40,000, and occupy 43,
000,000 of land.
It is estimated that the hide trade
at Graham, Texas, will reach 1 150,000
the coming season.
The salary of the President of Peru
has been raised to $43,000, but the term
is sometimes limited to 44 hours. -
Clara Louise Kellogg is tobe mar
ried by the newspapers again this fall.
Smith has not yet been heard from.
A numerous pilgrimage of Canadian
Catholics to Rome will occur in the
spring to attend the Pone's enlscoDal
jubilee.
Two hundred French Canadians
have been brought to Norwich, Con
necticut, to work in the mills in that
vicinity.
An odd marriage hts just taken
place in Jersey City. A clergymaness,
who was also the mother of the bride.
officiated.
It is not generally known that Mai.
Andre's remains were brought from
America and interred in Westminister
Abbey in 1821.
Two Californians. who four Tears
ago planted 1,000 acres in walnuts and
almonds, will net over $250,000 from
this year s crop.
It must be said that it looks odd to
see American sewing machines that
sell here for from (W to $'J0 advertised
in England at $15 and $20.
Miss Adelaide U. Murdoch a sister
of J. E. Murdoch, will make her debut
on the stage this season, appearing as
Lad) Macbeth at Washington.
Apples in Michigan are sold for
seventy-five cents a barrel, and in Geor
gia they go for twenty-live cents a
bushel, with the bag thrown in.
A hard nut to crack. The Robert
son county (A"y.) Herald has a hickory
nut seven inches in circumference, and
an acorn three and one-eighth.
The annual income of London
charities is about $12,000,000. Two
thirds come from contributions, and
the remainder from investments.
"A fool and his money," etc. The
testimonial fund to the father of modern
spiritualism, Andrew Jackson Davis,
has reached the large sum of $3,781.35.
Out at Janesville, Wisconsin, one
firm has made, during this season, 45,
0U0 cucumber-pickles, and converted
3,000 heads of cabbages into sour kraut.
The 4th of March during inaugura
tion years has fallen on Sunday in 1821
and 1S4'J, and will in 1S77, I'JOo, l'J17,
1045, 1973, 2001, 2029, 2007, 2125, 2153,
2181, 2221 and so ou.
Of the 31 persons condemned to
death in France during 1875, but one
had received a good school education.
Only four could write, and the remain
ing 20 were illiterate.
Bishop Jayne's succe.-sor as presid
ing bishop of the Methodist Episcopal
church, by right of seniority, is Bishop
Levi Scott of Dover, Del. He was
elected bishop iu 1852.
The new Suitan oi Turkey is by no
means prepossessing in apearance.
He is ouly 34 years old, but looks 50.
He U small with a hard Armenian face
and a very common exterior.
Dr. J. C. Ayer presented a beauti
ful hall, costing J0,000, to the town
which bears his name. The woodwork
is all finished in cherry-pectoral, and
has a light and Aycry appearance.
The fishermen of Greenport R. L,
have taken 51,000,000 menhaden this
season. These have offered 205,000 gal
lons of oil, showing that it takes 250
fish to make a gallon of oil, or eight to
make a gill.
Mrs. Sally Beers, of Clinton county
Michigan, works a farm of one hun
dred acres and has nine children. If
there were a few thousand such per
sons as Sally, many more of us might
escape work.
The present Emperor of Germany
should be a model for old gentlcnieu.
He looks young and hearty for his age,
and defies Time as vigorously as any
other enemy. Think of it he rode
into Paris in 1811 !
Maine's potato crop is very large
this year. It will probably reach 2.500
000 bushels, worth $l.U00,0tJ0. Aroo
stock County Starch Mill will take from
300,100 to 500,000 bushels. A great
many thousand bushels will be ex
ported. The number of vessels which passed
through the Suez canal in July last
was 112, against 9'J in the same mouth
of 1875, and 98 in 1874. The amount of
tolls collected was 2,248,000 francs,
against 2,0ti5,200 in 1875, and 1,987,951
iul874.
The largest box of layer figs ever
brought to this country has just been
received at Bo!ton from Smyrna. It
is four feet long and three wide, weighs
000 pounds, and contains over 11,000
figs. The ordinary boxes weigh 10
pounds.
The German investigations at
Olympia have brought to light 178
works in marble, 685 in bronze, 242 in
terra cotta, 174 coins (besides 806 By
zantine copper coins), and 79 inscrip
tions. The next work will be the com
pletion of the excavations of the Zeus
temple, with its immediate neighbor
hood. There is said to be a paper church
actually existing near Berlin, which
can contain nearly 1,000 persons. It is
circular within, diagonal w ithout. The
reliefs outside and statues within, the
roof, celling, the Corinthian capitals,
are papier mache, rendered waterproof
by saturating in vitriol, lime water,
whey and white of eggs.
Build your house small and neat,
then keep no spare rooms, if you would
reduce your expenses. An old gentle
man once said to a newly-married
couple, "If you would 'get on," don't
entertain everybody's friends; but if
you have torv much room for your own
family it will be filled by those you
don't care to have.
Dead-heading, as it is called ought to
be abolished. It is a nuisance. It was
once reproved by a certain "mine host"
in this wise: A preacher desired that
a deduction should be made from his
board bill on account of his "cloth."
The host replied : "Friend, I have ob
served thee. Thou hast eaten as a sin
ner and thou must pay as a sinner."
Dr. Allen Thompson, at the recent
meeting of the British Association, ex
hibited and described two skulls from
the Andaman Isles, and referred to the
custom the natives had of preserving
portions of their friends' skeletons and
wearing them as ornaments. The
skulls of their husbands were actually
worn upon the shoulders of widows.
About 10,000 students are gathered
In tbe great Moslem university of Cairo,
Egypt, for the study of the Mohamme
dan religion, jurisprudence, astronomy,
history, medicine, poetry in short the
whole Encyclopedia of Moslem learn
ing. These pupils come fron China,
Tartary, India, Arabia, Morocco, Cen
tral Africa, and European Turkey, as
well as from Asiatic Turkey and Egypt.
s
ast
v.
J