K S'. ! I! ! iCll
SCHWEIER,
THE CONSTITUTION THB TOION A5D THS ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS.
Editor and ri upi .atoafi
TOL. XXIX.
MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY, PENNA., MARCH 3, 1S75.
NO. 9.
B. F.
rorrsT.
Till: ENIVRAST LASSIE.
11T JOBS STEWART BUkCKIE.
Tlic following lines contain the simple, nn
auorucd Ktateiuont of a fait in tlie experience
of a frwnd. who ih fontl of wandering in the
Highland gleiiK).
A I cSruc wandering down Olen Spenri,
Where tlie braes are green and grans.
With my Unlit Htep I overtook
A weary-footed Ihhsio.
She had one bundle on her bark.
Another in her hand.
And she walked ax one who wan full loath
To travel from the land.
tuoth I. "My lionnic laa T' for she
Had hair of flowing gnlil.
And dark brown eves and dainty lirulM,
i:ight pleanant to behold
My loimic la. what aileth thee.
On this bright Hummer day.
To travel sad and nhnelfm thus
I .m the tibmy way ?
I'm frerdi and ntrong, and wtontly hIioiL
And thou art burdeneil ho;
March lightly now, and let nie liear
Tlie bniidlta an we go."
'No, no !" (die naid, tlut may not be.
What's mine in mine to bear;
4 if pood or ill, as CWxl may will,
1 take my portioned nhare,"
Hut you have two. and I have none;
One burden give to me;
1 11 take that bundle from thy lark
That heavier seems to be."
"No, no T'ahc said, "Mi, if you will.
That holds no hand but mine
May lxar its weight from dear ileti Sean
AexonM tho Atlantic brine !"
"Well, well ! but tell me what may be
Witliin that preciona load.
Which thou dowt lx-ar with such fine care
Along the dusty road ?
T-elike it i some, prenout raro
From friend in parting hour;
Perhaps as prudent maiden's wont.
Thou tiikVt with thee thy dower."
She drooped her head, and with her hand.
She gave a mournful wave:
"Oil, do not jest, dear sir '. it is
Turf from my mother's grave !"
I spoke no word: we sat and wept
I'.y tho road-side together;
No purer dew on that bright day
Was dropt upon the heather.
;,. Hoot.
SISOI.I.ASY.
91 an Traps.
Life is full of traps of various kinds
wherein the unwary blindly walks.
Think of the social traps laid for us at
all corners, and then see what a service
of peril this daily life of onrs lieeomes.
Take for one instance, the undesirable
people to whom we are introduced, we
innocent of all causes of nudesirable
ness, the "mutual friend" being the
sinner, from bis desire to do the Doubt
f nls a service at our expense. The trap
laid for us is one so artfully concealed,
there is no possibility of discovering it
until after we have been eutrapiwd,
when it is too late to repair the damage
done to a previously good reputation.
Then there are traps of another de
scription those which are set by
habitnal secret hunters. No sooner do
these people see the faintest trace of a
secret lying about than they lay their
snares to entrap ; and in the great ma
jority of cases they succeed. For
trapping is an art like any other, and
practice makes perfect in it as in any
other. The great art lies in the nice
selection of the bait. Sympathy goes
a long way with some. A nice friendly
manner, a soft wooing voice, knees to
knees in the summer twilight ; feet on
the fender, and the easy chairs very
dep and oosv, by the winter fire ; a
little indifferent talk to lead the way '.
a little protended confidence on the
trapper's part, to smooth fT the first
dillicnlties and warm the chill of shy
ness ; and the poor victim is caught
trapped without hope of escape. At
other times it is the bluff kind of
liberality which professes to be shocked
at nothing. "My dear fellow," or "my
dear child, you can tell me anything
I know human nature, and am no bigot."
Ou which the silly snip runs its head
into the noose, and learns the value of
moral liberality professed for a bait, at
its sorrowful leisure. Yes, life is fnll
of traps set everywhere and baited with
everything under heaven. Oar fears
and our 1uh, our love and our bates,
self-interest, sympathy, the fervor of
imagination and the influence of
personalities, all are tho baits and the
traps laid for ns ; and perhaps no man
or woman lives who has not at some
time fallen into ono or more.
I-Ile' Shoes.
Tlie shoes worn by ladies at present
are fur more sensible than those lately
in fashion. The design now is to give
svmmetrieal shape and ease to tlie foot
rather than to cramp it into unnatural
smallnesa. For this purpose the best
shoemakers now use French lasts made
precisely to the shape of the foot, out
lining the taper of the foot on top, and
giving ample width of sole. Shoes made
in this way do not cramp the toes, or
bind the instep, or force out the tender
joints to form bunions, as the narrow
shoes of the past few years have done.
Another sensible feature of the present
style is the low, broad heel, which
gives the foot a natural, easy and
healthful position, very different from
that Buffered when the high, narrow
French heels were in vogue. Experi
enced shoemakers also commend what
is called the English Channel groove m
the sole of the shoe that carries the
stitch connecting the sole and upper,
and pievents the edge from becoming
i. .i rarrw1 Knttoned boots of
French kid are tho handsomest shoes
for semi-dress, house and carnage
wear. For the same purposes there are
also bnttonea noois 01 uue , K t
T.-- a,,! rnHNii kid. Heavy
W1LU 1 reutu
walking shoes with double soles are
made of pebble-goat, of Curacoa kid, of
straight grain, and also the trench
mat kid. Side-laced gaiters are said
:.. i.i nr strain, as thev
give a perfect fit and are easily adjusted
to the foot when it swells with fatigue
or over -exertion ; both serge and mo
rocco are used lor these gaiiers.
pert llazaar.
(liincwe nailm.
th a snow from
his own door, and pot busy himself
awut the frost on nis neiguuor wn.
hv destinv : mod-
erate wealth by industry. The ripest
fruit will not fall into your mouth.
mi i.anMk Af jino- frond is the Only
one that doe not wear out Dig a well
before you ere tmrsiy. im
not remain in the nionntams, nor
vengeance in great minus.
Nobody need be hungry when there's
so muob "snap m me
OrR HOARDER'S STORY.
BT IBOS DOMINO.
"How long has your husband been
dead, Mrs. Clerris ?" asked our Mag
with a blnntness that made ns all
ashamed.
"lie is not dead," was the quiet re
ply, but a quivering of pain mingled
with the patient look of her face, and
it did not need that mother should
shake her head at us, thereby implying
that no more qnestions were to be
asked, for we were awed into silence
and were very sorry that Mag's
impertinence should have given us the
clue to a story that was evidently so
sad. We knew comparatively little of
Mrs. Clerris, bnt she was the fi-iend of
acquaintances and through them had
desired to share the quiet of onr coun
try home as a boarder during the few
weeks of her summer vacation from
town. The pained look did not leave
her face all that day, and when after all
the work was done and mother sat
alone upon the steps of the porch in
the twilight that was fait giving place
to darkness, Mrs. Clerris went out and
sat liesidc her. She bnrried her face
in her hands and cried quietly a few
moments while her frame trembled and
shook violently. At last mother ven
tnred : "Mrs. Clerris. you must forget
Maggie's impertinent qnestion this
morning. It was only mere thought
lessness and I am very sorry."
"It does not matter," she said, "for
I am going to tell yon all about it Per
haps I should have done so before."
"Xo yon need not !" persisted
mother. "It is not necessary and, I as
a tire yon, there will be no unpleasant
conclusions drawn from what we have
so inadvertently learned."
Bnt this was the story she told, giving
no heed to mother's assurances :
"I was but eighteen when I became
the wife of Miles Clerris an inex
jxrienceil girl who knew little of life
save of its indulgences and pleasures.
An ouly child, my father's means had
been sufficient to gratify all my little
whims and caprices and petted all my
life by lovingfriends, sorrow and disap
pointment had been terms almost un
known. It was considered a very for
tuiiate thing forme when an opportunity
oroKe of becoming the wife of the rich
contractor, who had at first made mere
business visits to our village ; and I
remember with what unconcealed satis
faction mother and father regarded the
marriage preparations. To be sure he
was much older than I being nearly
thirty years of age, but mother said I
needed some one to 'take care' of me, I
was so young, while to me he seemed a
very compendium of wisdom and, of
course, goodness. So with many con
gratulations and the envy of half my
yonng friends, I started under the most
favorable auspices for my new home
many miles away. It was an old place
and the Clerrises had held it for years.
There was an air of substantial comfort
abuut it, which only wealth can give,
and no wonder my girlish heart thrilled
with pride as I looked upon it for the
first time and thought that I w -s about
to be its mistress. 1 soon found, how
ever, that although Miles was the only
son and heir I was hardly acknowledged
even a nominal sovereign. The house
hold as it was had been of many years
standing, and did not very cheerfully
accept the new rule of an inexperiened
girl. Mn. Clerris, Sr., was still living
and, though scarcely able to leave her
room, was always querulonsly intrusive
and fault-finding. A spoiled child my
self, who had anticipated great glory in
the management of her own household.
I could illy endure her interference ana
had cot been many weeks a wife before
my mother-in-law and myself had some
very sharp passages of words. There
was also in the household a Miss Slay ton
a companion of his mother Miles
told mo after introducing her ; still her
positim in the household was always a
mystery to me, for though the servants
seeniel to hate her cordially she yet ex
erted over them a firm rale that J had
never lecn able to acquire and in every
event of the household seemed coolly
bnt quietly to assert her own authority.
To me she" was always especially cour
teous, but her extreme reserve and lack
of conUlence exasinirated mo while her
assnmrtion of power was quite beyond
my etnkirance. She was 'more mistress
than V I had once passionately ex
claimed to Mi!es, but he always laughed
away my dixpleasnre.soon changing the
subject and never himself eipressing
approval or disapproval, i nied to fancy
that Mn. Clerris and Miss Slayton were
conspired against me and gradually
there gri-w into my heart a nerce uatreu
for them lioth which of course made me
very miserable.
"Looking back now I can see that at
first nineh of my trouble arose from un
guarded jealousy and passion, for I
had no sispicion of the real state of
affiirs. it was notnntil after the birth
of my lay and the lingeriug illness
that folio veil that the rem irntn negan
to dawn n xin me. It was torment m
expressib! j to lie uikiu my bed, help
less, entrusted to the solo care of a
nurse and knew that my hnsband was
in the company of tuat woman whom l
bated so. In the long evenipgs I could
hear tlie him of their voices in the
parlor below and the nervous, rcstlees
nie-hts that were sure to follow greatly
retarded mt recovery. Often at twilight
they would walk up and down the yard,
and" sometimes as they passed my win
dow I wouli catch low, tender tones of
voice that I thoueht had been used
only for me. Once there were words
word 8 of affection so distinct that they
could not be misunderstood, and after
that I could not name the hornblo sus
picion that I would intrude upon every
thought fcr that she was a guilty crea
ture thus to endnre the caresses of a
married man 1 did not doubt.
"Still it wuld not do to proclaim
what 1 so thoicnghly believe and an at
tempt to dismiss her from the house
would involve a revelation of all my
suspicions, of which there was no sub
stantial proof md which probably no
one would beieve after all. Thus I
lived, most wretched wife, finding my
only consolaticn in my little son. My
husband's teniernesf for he was al
ways kind semed but the heartless
dissimulation (1 an unprincipled lib
orHno T eonld not dissemble the hard
thoughts that were in my heart, and so
grew morose and distant toward them
all. As might lave been supposed, to
the relatives and friends wno visiieu ui
the item, reserved woman
who bad kept her room and rarely
smiled was not .udged very pleasing
wife and Miles rceived much sympathy
from all his fritnds. When my baby
was a year old. Cod took him out from
onr wretched borne. I think Miles
grieved as much as I, for he was pas
aionately fond of hifl little boy, but I
would not allow his tears to mingle
with mine and rsselntely ahat myself
in mv own roim there to await alone
n. ('i;nn nr khA rlavs that contained
such grievous chastening. On one of
the wretched cveringa that intervened
before the funeral, I stood at tho open
window, tearksa, watching the out-
coming stars and thinking that to-morrow
night my little boy would sleep
beneath their faithful guardianship,
when a scene forced itself upon me at
which I was then almost too stupefied
to wonder.
Miles came wearily up one of the
graveled walks and seated himself in
seeming despondence upon a rustic
bench. Miss Slayton followed, placing
herself by his side, though she did
speak to him, as he sat with his head
upon hifl hands.
"My poor wife !" my heart aches for
her I" I heard him murmur at last
And then Miss Slayton's voice said
sneeringly :
"Tout wife, indeed I Ah. Miles
Clerris, if she only knew !" was added
in a sotter done. Presently she moved
nearer and leaned lovingly against him
while her hand rested upon his. I
could not hear the words she said, but
lie started up, angrily exclaiming:
"A curse upon you 1 I defy you"
and pushing her from him he walked
away anil stood leaning against the
trunk or the old elm. She followed.
"Yon defy roe ! Yon have perhaps
forgotten this little docnnnnit." And
she held up something.
He seemed astonished and almost
hissed between his shut teeth : "Yon
have lied to me."
"Y'on were a fool to think I would
ever lose sight of this," was the taunt
ing reply.
He grasped for it and seizing her a
little struggle ensued, but sho broke
from him and ran into the house and I
heard her go into her room. Miles,
too, soon walked away. Still I stood at
the window, enwrapped in a mazy dream
that hail neither purpose nor detinite
ness about it. Night deepened, the
moon rose and the veering outlines of
shade crept steadily over the grass, yet
I had no inclination to seek my pillow.
As the shadows of the trees slowly
cirled around the moonbeams at last
directly upon the spot where Miles and
Miss Slayton had stood beneath the
elm hours before.
Something white upon the grass
gleamed distintly in the moonlight It
recalled the scene I had witnessed and
for tfle first time in days a definiteness
of purpose possessed me and I deter
mined to know what it was. Harrying
down into the yard the glistening white
thing was found to be a piece of paper.
With almost insane jealously 1 rau back
to my room and bent over the time
worn sheet My curiosity was cruelly
repaid for there, drawn up with all the
form required by law, 1 read a marriage
certificate a bond of union lietween
Miles Clerris and Helen Slayton bearing
date ten years previons. The clergy
man's name appended Jeremiah Xew-
comb was a substantial proof of the
genuineness of the article, for L well
remembered it and the peculiar chirog
raphy I had seen so often in girlhood.
Dear white haired old man how little
he guessed in his gentleness that a deed
of his was lying in wait to stab me so
cruelly ! Ten years ago 1 that mnst
have been in Miles' college days. And
this woman was his wife while I I had
no legal claim to the rights I had tried
to vindicate with such haughty ar-
roirance. Too frenzied to rave or faint,
1 realized it all quietly, standing there
alone in the eight There was nothing
to palliate the enormity of the great
wrong Miles Clerris had done me. I
bad been purposely and miserably
dnped an innocent girl now a mother,
whose mourning for her first born had
been rudely disturbed by the horrid
fact that she was not even a wife. I
Auntr open the blind, and threw the
Saten-sent missive far out into the yard.
1 conld not upbraid my hnsband wiih
the discovery 1 had made, nor proclaim
it to the world, for it was the seal to
my own infamy. Neither could I ignore
it, thongh for a moment something had
whispered : "Keep the certificate and
say nothing about it, and the world will
always believe, as it docs now, that you
are his wife, since there will be no
proof to thecoutrary, and the old clergy
man is dead." Ouly tho experienced,
who know of what bitterness the human
he&rt is capable, can dream what Buffer
ing came to me there. Presently I
realized that the family were astir and
crept to my bed, not to sleep, but to
experience that semi-unconscious state
that comes ol mter prostration, xwo
of the servant girls came to my room,
and as they moved cautiously abont,
putting things in order, l Knew tuey
were nreparine the house for the funeral
ceremonies, which were to take place
early in the day. At last one whisiered
to the other that Miss Biayton nau ioiu
at the breakfast table how some one had
entered her room during the night and
had rifW every drawer and box, and
that even the pockets of her dresses had
been visited. Of course they were full
of consternation and wonder, and in
talking abont it quite forgot their sleep
ing mistress as they supposed. After
thwv had left the room Miles entered
and stood by my bedside. He bent
down and softly kissed my forehead as
I lay, with closed eyes, and then I
heard him sigh deeply and walk away.
Miss Slayton met him in tho hall and
said in her sinuous voice : "I think
if last nieht's burglar had searched the
yard first he would have been more
successlnl, lor 1 nave an iaea mat x
found, this morning, the article he
wished for," and her low sneering
laugh came in through the open door.
I dressed myself and sat with the
others while the minister read of Qod's
goodness and his kindly chastening,
and prayed for the afflicted hearts, all
Hie while nearly wild for the hatred of
God and man that rankled in my bosom.
Miles' tenderness maddened me, and
when I sank, half fainting, from the
coffin and he held me in his strong arms
while bis hot tears fell upon my cheeks
I longed to dash my hands in his face.
When it waB all over and the honse
was stilled again for the night, 1 donned
my Bonnet and shawl, and taking my
portmonnaie, which was always well
supplied, walked to the station and
took the train for your city. I remem
ber the long ride through hours and
hours and the qniet breaking of the
morning, bnt that is all ; for I had been
many weeks in your hospital cared for
at publio expense when I next awoke
to consciousness. At last I was able
to leave its sheltering walls, and it was
with such loneliness of heart as I prav
you and yours may never know, that I
set out to find some means of support
At first it seemed a hopeless task for
where a man may walk unquestioned a
woman is subjected to the most rigo
rous scrutiny, and what she will not
reveal is registered for her condemna
tion unheard. I thought it expedient
for manv reasons to retain Mr. Clerris'
name, and then the appellation of a
married woman might offer a better
protection than the "Miss Nelson" of
my girlhood.
Alter many, many, discouragements,
two vears asro I secured the situation I
now hold. It is remunerative and af
fords as pleasant a living as I can ever
hope to have. I have often wondered
by what means Miss,Slaytou was, ever
induced to occupy the positien she did
in Miles Clerris' home for she fully re
alized that she was his legal wife. If a
human heart may be divided in its af
fection it would seem that he sincerely
loved ns both though none the less a
villain.
Mag and I heard it all behind the
blinds of the dining room, from whence
we dared not stir as the story pro
gressed. Now, as mother and Miss
Clerris arose and walked down the path
we broke from our hiding place and
ran off to bed like guilty culprits,
scarcely saying a word even to each
other. That was years and years ago.
Mrs. Clerris is dead now, and, mayhap.
upon the other side she solves the mys
terious destiny God had given, so in
explicable here.
1 he rainter'N Manlle.
On the fifteenth day of January. 1520
a gentleman arrived in Florence and
went to lodge at the Sun Inn. Having
with him ouly one trnnk, the innkeeper
thought he conld not be very rich, and
gave him for this reason a room in the
top of the house. No. 40. At that time
t was not necessary to give one s name
at an inn, and those who wished to pre
serve their incognito gave to their
mends the number of their room nd
the name of the inn where they loJg.xl.
This gentleman did so.
At the end of tne first week the land
lord presented bis bill ; bnt great was
his astonishment w hen the unknown
told him that he had no money, that he
expected some every day from home,
begging him to rest easy, and assuring
him that as soon as the money arrived
he should lie paid.
I he innkeeper went away not very
well satisfied, because this stranger or
dered the most exqnisite dinners, the
most rrrhi.rfftc viands, the most ex
liensive wines of France and Germany
and the landlord, being very miserly
anu snspicions ieareu ior nis money.
At the end of the second week he
made his guest another visit and pre
senting his bill, met with the same re
sponse ; then he looked around the room
and saw a magnificent mantle hanging
on the wall, all lined with rich far a
mantle winch might be worth ot0 silver
florins. The innkeeper, delighted with
bis discovery, saluted the gentleman.
and descended the stairs, saying to
himself. "If he does not pay me at the
end of another week, I will make him
leave this mantle in pledge for what he
owes me.
Some days passed, when there ar
rived an express with a letter for the
gentleman in No' 40.
The landlord, sure that it contained
a remittance, ran to give it himself to
the stranger, who took the letter, and
seeing the seal, exclaimed, "Oh 1 the
imperial arms !" then opened the letter,
and having read it, said : "It is at order
to go at ouce to Bologna, where the
Emperor of Germany is staying at
present, who wishes to see me. A car-
riage will come for me in a little while,
because the journey will be at the Em
peror's expense."
"lut, sir, before you go, pay me my
bill, which amounts to 150 iiorina."
"ion know very well, caro nuo, that
since I came to yonr inn, I have re
ceived no letter but this one ; therefore
I have not yet received my money, and
not having received it I cannot pay
you. I am an honest man ; I do not
wish to defraud you, and I will send
you the money from Bologna."
"Sir. if you have no money, as yon
say, to pay me, it does not matter ;
leave me in pledge this mantle (point
ing to the one hanging on the wall),
and as soon as you have paid your bill.
I will take care to have it sent to lo
lotnia. or to whatever other city your
lordship may happen to be in."
"How ! have you the heart to let me
go away this cold weather without my
cloak ?"
'Ah ! sir, I do not know you and I
give credit to no one.
"luunnian wrotcn witnont pity
nere he was interrupted by the porter
of the inn. who entered, telling the
gentleman that a carriage had come for
him.
"Very well " he replied, "take my
trunk, and I will go." .
Tho landlord accompanied him to the
gate, saving : "A pleasant journey, sir ;
we understand eacu oilier, anu x win
remember my promise."
Eager to examine more closely the
rich cloak, he mounted at once to the
chamber of the nukuown, and weut up
to the wall to take down the cloak,
when, oh ! horror ! he discovered that
it was painted !
"Ah ! the thiol ! the viilian ! a man
who deserves hanging !" ho began to
shout, and made such an uproar that
all the strangers in the inn came out of
their rooms to see what had caused such
a noise.
"Ah ! pentlrman. see a painted man
tle ! The man who had this room, and
who has inst cone, not having money
enongh to pay his bill, was to leave me
in plinlge bis magniuccnt cloak, worm
more than 500 florins. Instead the vil
lain has put it in his trunk, and left
me this ; and nioro than this, he had
the effrontery to mock me, reproaching
me with beirg without humau feeling,
without a heart"
One of the strangers, who was an
amateur painter, sail to the landlord :
You are an ingrate, an ignorant iooi.
Yon possess a treasure in this most
beautiful picture. Yon were born
lucky. This mantle will make your
fortune. Charge a price oi aumission
for each person who wishes to see it.
and in a short time you will have in
yonr strong box many times the value
of your reckoning." '
The innkeeper, surprised at this
praise of the picture from his guest,
and reflecting that it was possible that
he might in that way gain some profit.
followed the advice.
The next day the report of this
strange adventure had spread through
all Florence ; and the curiosity was so
great not ' nly in that city, but in all
the country around, that our landlord
in a very little time had tiocketed eight
hundred silver florins.
But when, a few days after, it became
known that this wonderful painted
mantle was a pleasantry of Titian, who
hod painted it is a trick on his inn
keeper, not only the Florentines came
to see it, but people came from all
paits to admire a work of this distin
guished painter, whom Charles V. hid
that year summoned to isoiogna to
paint his portrait and undertake other
important works.
. ... .
Our fortunate innkeeper louna mm
self. in a short time, possessor of a con
siderable sum, and wrote a letter of
apology to the great artist
Titian replied that he was much snr
prised that any painting of his had pro
duced so fabulous a sum. bnt knowing
that his landlord had not deserved it
by his cupidity and avarice, he left it
to him only on one condition, uiaiu
some poor artist should come to his inn.
he would not present his bill at the end
of every week. A iute jj. mute.
A man who would try to stab a ghost
would stick at notning.
Facts and Fancies.
SLASO.
It isn't pleasant word to speak, or a
pleasant thought to think, but slang is
as contagions as the measles, the
whooping cough or the smallpox, as
hard to be gotten rid of when once
caught, and as disgusting in its effect
upon one's conversation, as the worst
of these diseases upon the person.
It's a novate rv I've never vet suc
ceeded in fathoming, what earthly use
these by-words and slang phrases afford
in the expression of one s ideas. let
there seems o be some inexplicable
fascination about slang, that few peo
ple are sufficiently original or culti
vated to resist, wholly. Hearing these
expressions for the first time, we feel
justly displeased at their vulgarity, but
frequent repetition familiarizes them,
while by degrees they slip easily into
our own daily converse, and come out
of our mouths, as it seems, almost
without our volition, fairly startling us
at times by their unwelcome and" in
appropriate advent
OI what relevance is it, when yon
happen to hear some unexpected news.
or perhaps a remarkable story, to pro
nounce the name of a city more than
a thousand years old or that of an an
cient sage, lying centuries in his coffin?
And yet we have been just so silly,
time and time again : yes, and been
thoroughly ashamed of ourselves for it
afterward.
"Oh, mercy I" Dear me!" "Good
ness gracious !" "Well I never ! "Did
you ever?" "What under the sun?"
"Of all things !" are a few of the com
monest and least objectionable of these
expressions that are in frequent use by
many who profess to be above slang
phrase. Nobody can say that there is
really any harm in these, but all will
admit that a conversation freely inter
larded with such, would be far from
denoting elegance or refinement They
are decided vulgarisms.
Bnt this is what you might call old-
fashioned slang, and is very weak and
watery compared with later editions.
For instance, here is an example of
Young America at the present time.
"How is that for high ?" "Does yonr
mother know you're ont ?" "There's a
nigger in the fence." "Let 'er slide."
Keep cool !" "Draw it mild !" "Why
is this thus?" "How does the land
lav?" "You can't most always tell !'
"Cheese it t" "It's no go !" "That's all
gammon." "Going to see the ele
phant" "Simmer down." "That's
nobby." "You'll laugh the other side
of your mouth." "Both in the same
boat" "Dressed to kill." "Got a
brick in bis hat" "Anything green in
my eye ?" "Go in Lemons." "Keep
a stiff upper lip." "That's O. K."
"It's all the go." "Mind your eve."
ion know how it is yourself. " hat
a cheek." "That's what's the matter."
"You're too fresh." "You know what's
what" "What's your hand?" "Go it
blind." "Two can play at that game."
uo it while you re young. "tie s
got the stamps." "Yon bet" "Put a
head on him." "What's his racket?"
Give us a rest"
To the last of which we subscribe
heartily. It's a confusion of tongues
suggestive of BabeL But it's just the
way our boys talk, and girls too a
good many of them for that matter. I
am sorry and ashamed to say it, but it
is true nevertheless.
If you don't believe it, inst let me
Eut down a veritable conversation I
eard at a church sociable not long since.
A group of yonng ladies were together
in one corner of the dressing-room
nice, church-going, well-educated, upper-crust
society yonng ladies, all
dressed in the latest styles, and assum
ing to be eommc it faut in all matters
of good breeding. And this as near
as 1 can report from memory is what
1 heard the pretty creatures say :
"Oh I iiosa, do come here ! ' here
have you kept yourself lately? I've
been dying to see von for a whole
week !"
" Uow d'y, Minnie. Bessie, Ger
trude. Why, 'what's up,' girls? If
it's anything 'rich, rare and racy,'
you needn't count me out"
' Have yon seen that lovely Miss
McClnre ? Isn't she too sweet for any
thing' ? Mamma says we're to call. It
will be "quite the proper thing.
"Very proper, bnt shed ought to
know pompadour braids are 'out' Oh !
girls, have you seen the 'last sweet
thing in hats ? Bessie what hand
some silk I 'Stand ont and show yonr
self. That s 'got up in style. I had
a new silk iu my eye' for this winter,
but it was 'no go. Papa wouldn't
'come down." So that's 'gone up the
spout' "
" ho told you that 'someliody went
home with me Sunday night ? A 'little
bird whispered it ?' 'That's too thin.'
it won t wash. 1 can 'Bee through a
mill-stone."
"Yes, 'over yonr left shoulder.
Minnie, shall I see yon at the Mwticatr.t
yon and 'a person I won't mention?"
"'Not if I know myself.' 'He's off.'
I ve 'another string to my bow.
"Do see Lou Bnags I Don t she put
on the agony ?' She's 'spooning' after
Will Carlisle. Isn t he a muff r "
"Yes, 'he's s nice young man,' and
there'll be a 'slap-up' wedding 'when
the cows come home."
"Hose, do look at my back hair !
Are those geranium leaves 'on the per
pendicular ?
" "Ke rect ! .
"Bess, you won't miss that masquer
ade at the skating rim ? It's going to
be a 'big thing en ice ?
"You can nust bet your life I won t
Tom's promised me a new pair of
skates, and 1 m inst going to sail in.
"Isn t that "bully 7 Charlie says the
prizes are perfectly elegant I'm going
to try for it myself. Uoing, ilia ?
"les "in a horn.
"'Not for Joe.' eh? Come, now
don't "put your head under your wing'
just because your 'right bower' is 'laid
up on the shelf. My dear, there s 'as
good fisb in the sea, and so on.
"Stuff and nonsense 1" I wouldn't
'throw stones' if 1 were you."
"What do you think of Fred Darling
'honest Indian' now '!"
"Fred ? why. I've known Fred since
he was 'knee high to a grass hopper,'
and 'not any of that in mine if you
please 1"
"So you don t approve 7 wen, may tie
he's nanghty, but he's nice 1' He talks
beautifully 1"
"Stupid ! plenty of 'soft soap, no
doubt but Oh ! girls.
Here interest having gotten the bet
ter of prudence, I betrayed myself by
inadvertently allowing one of the young
ladies to surprise me with my eyes fas
tened intently upon the group I heard
the whispered and somewhat doubtful
in point of compliment mention,
"that old thing has been listening to
everything word we've said," and then
the voices dropped into indistinguish
able murmurs.
I will own to a reasonable curiosity
as to how much longer that sort of
thing could have gone on ! I wouldn't
have believed it possible, as it was, if I
hadn't heard it, with my own ears so
I don't ask anybody to take my word as
Gospel truth ; but they mag if it
pleases them just do a little private
detective business on their own behalf
and then judge if I have very much
overdrawn the truth.
But what a burlesque upon the rare
beauty and elegance of pare and simple
speech.
So wide-spread and prevalent has be
come this practice of idiomatio expres
sion, the use of these cant and vulgar
phrases, that it is seldom except when
thrown in contrast with people of really
superior culture, that the habit strikes
ns in its truly ludicrous and humilating
light
Verily, the tongue is an unruly mem
ber I But do, for the sake of personal
decency and the general good, let us
each try, in herself and himself, to be-1
gin and continue an effort towards the
correction of these low and gross vnl
garisms which are more particularly
the characteristic of na Americans than
of any other civilized nation under the
sun. Americans both at home and
abroad have made themselves the
laughing-stock of foreign criticism,
though this pet weakness, longenonghl
t'ompetitioa the Llffe f Trade.
Between forty and fifty years ago
there was an amusing contest going on
'between two trades-people in London.
Both were hair-dressers, and lived
opposite each other. Seeing that one
throve by selling pomade made of bear'a
grease, the other knowing that it was
just as good and more profitable to sell
any other material in pots, with "bear's
grease" on the label, started an oppo
sition, using similar pots to those sold
by his opponent, filled with an inex
pensive unguent The first dealer, who
was known to keep bears in his cellar.
and who had himself taken up once a
week before the sitting alderman as
nuisance, by way of advertisement,
killed a bear upon this, and hnnsr him
up whole in full sight in his shop. He
also wrote in the window, "A fresh bear
killed this day." The other, who had
but one bear in all the world, which he
privately led out of his house after
dark every night and brought him back
in the morning (to seem like a supply
going on), continued bis sale and an
nounced in his window : "Onr fresh
bear will be killed to-morrow." The
original vender then determined to cnt
off his rival's last shift, kept his actual
bears, defunct, with the skin only half
off, like calves at a butcher's, hanging
up always at his door, proclaimed that
all bear's grease sold in pots was a vile
imposture, and desired his customers
to walk in "and see theirs with their
own eyes, cut and weighed from the
animaL" This seemed conclusive for
two days ; but on the third, the cun
ning opposition was again to the fore,
with a placard founded on the opinion
of nine doctors of physic, which stated
that bear's grease "obtained from the
animal in a tame or domesticated state
will not make anybody's hair grow at
all," in consequence of which he went
on to say : "He has formed an estab
lishment in Russia, (where all the best
bears come from,) for catching them
wild, cutting the fat immediately, and
potting it down for London consump
tion. And the rogue actually ruined
the business of his antagonist, without
going to the expense of killing a single
bear, by writing all over his house,
"Licensed by the Imperial Govern
ment, here and at Archangel."
A Wrong System.
It is no' sign of gentility to be utterly
indifferent to expenses. Many people
think it is quite "the correct thing" to
know nothing of the prices of common
articles. Such ignorance is supposed
to suggest the idea of vast wealth.
Bnt the facts are, that it suggests quite
a different train of ideas. The truly
refined and high bred, with abundant
resources at command, know that it ad
vertises a great ignorance of the world,
a very limited edneation, and even less
common sense. This sort of display
goes hand-in-hand with vulgarity, and
stamps its possessor in a way that is
known and read of most men. i'eo-
ple possessed of wealth, which is not
founded upon "shifting sand," are
usually most exact and systematic in
all their money affairs. Ladies of
ealth and good breeding see well to
the ways of their households, and are
strict in their domestic management.
that no waste shall be allowed. As a
rule, the poor are more wasteful than
the rich one reason why they remain
poor. When young couple, with
their way to make in the world, begin
housekeeping in a style that is only
suitable in people of established wealth
they do command the respect they wish
in places where th iir reputation is of
the greatest account to them. Busi
ness men, where confidence is a young
man s best capital, will not trust him
half as readily as if he hail "begun
small." If there is anything that makes
home unconformable, it is the continued
consciousness that one is living beyond
one's means, and that a reckoning day
is snre to come, let the calls for ex
penditure are incessant, and each keeps
on buying, with no calculation how
matters are coming out until the final
crash settles the matter for them. If
you wish to get true comfort out of
yonr income, and command the respect
of those about yon, learn to seep your
accounts accurately, and spend your
money with discretion.
Legalised . Meadieaaey.
Abroad, beggars are recognized as
inevitable hangers-on to the akirts of
civilization, and treated as such. In
Peru, for instance, Saturday is set
apart for them, and all the poor who
are supported by charity are allowed to
wasder through tne streets, seeung
alms : and such an array of blind,
crippled and infirm people, it would be
hard to gather in any otner lano. i.ne
grotesque forms and distressing gar
ments would form a fitting theme for
the genius of a Teniers to depict Thay
are of all nationalities and races, these
- . . . , . m.
mendicants, though by far the greater
part are negroes, Cholos, or native in
dians and Chinamen, and the money
that they thus collect they are allowed
to dispose of as they see ht
Tne Remaatle Teaitlaa Flewer-
iilrls.
Charles Warren Stoddard quietly re
moves the romance from the Yenitian
flower-girls by saying :
There are flower-women who offer yoa
a straw with bud and three geranium
leaves at the top of it "Offer " 1 said.
Offer is a mild word to apply to their
attacks ; they stab yon in the button
hole with their villainous bttle bouquets
and follow yoa for half a block implor
ing you to buy. If yon take the woman
by the nape of the neck and dangle her
over the canal for a few moments she
merely smiles when she returns to earth
and at once selects new bouquet, even
less desirable than the last, with which
to beguile yon.
TernM coixki.
Persevere.
Drive the nail aright, rur.
Hit A on tile kod ;
Strike with all Tour micht, bora,
WbuaUwuua'ana,
When row work to do, boy.
Do it with a will ;
Tbf y who rca-h tb tip, hnja.
Fine aW climb Um hilL
Standing at the font, boya.
Oaxmic at the ky,
Hi'W ran yuu get uis boy.
If yuu fi4,vwr try f
Thongs yoa Mnaibie oft, boya.
Try, and try attain. ty.
aim u inoueni at nuK.
"Lrrn.s Bo-pcep ato tub Drrao
Child. I remember when I was nursing
in a hospital once, there was a poor
little boy about aix years old dying of
rheumatic fever. I was night-nurse in
that ward ; and regularly, when the
attack of pain came on, he used to
scream out for me :
"Nnrsey, sing. It hurts me. Sing
the hurt away."
So then I'd prop him np on my arm
an' sing song arter another, from
Twinkle. Twinkle, Little Star," to
"Black-eyed Susan," till the paroxysm
of pain was over, an he'd quiet down
again. I always knew when that was
by his joiuin' his voice iu too such a
weak pipe of a voice, poor lamb I but I
was better glad to hear it than any
music, for it telled me the pain was
gone for awhile, an' I could lie down to
sleep again.
Poor wee mite ! I was singing "Little-Bo-Peep"
the night he died. I had
him in my arms. He'd been sinking
all day, 1 knew he couldn't last out
another ; an' though he tried to join in
as usual, his voice went into a gasp an'
broke. I'd been sometimes used to
call the children in the ward my little
sheep ; an' when I came to the end of
the verse
Little Bo.Peep ehe lemt her flheep.
An dan'l know when fc hud m !
Let 'in altiue, an tht-y'U cmw home
An' briuie their taUa brhiiMl 'em
he looked up into my face with a bit of
a smile on his poor little drawn white
mouth, and said :
"Nnrsey'll know where to find her
little sheep when he goes home. Will
i do long going home now, nnrsey 7
Long T Ah, poor lamb ten minutes
later, an' he'd gone home.
Tns River or Lin, A youth stood
on the banks of the river of life and
gazed upon the countless millions of
boats which crowded its broad surface.
Each boat represented a human life,
and the port to which all were sailing
was eternity.
At the wheel of some of the boats
stood a shadowy form which guided the
vessel through the foaming rapids and
past the dark, rising rocks in safety,
and kept the prow of the boat always
pointed in the right direction.
Ihe shadowy form was the good
guardian angel of that life, and the evil
angel hovered around and overhead.
endeavoring by false beacons to draw
tne boat from its right course ; but the
pilot was faithful and true, and the
efforts were fruitless.
Other boats there were which had no
pilot, and these were drifted and dashed
around at the mercy of the waves. The
evil angel showed the false beacon, and
these boats were deceived and followed
it
On, on they were led, until at last
they were dashed upon the rocks and
lost
Some of the vessels, even after Toeing
wrecked, called for a pilot, which even
at that late hour was furnished them,
and they were brought safely into port
You Will bs Wa.ttkd. Take courage
my lad. What if you are but an hum
ble, obscure apprentice a poor, ne
glected orphan a scoff and a byword
for the thoughtless and gay, and de
spise virtue in rags because of its
tatters ? Have you an intelligent mind,
untutored though it be? Have you a
virtuous aim, a pure desire and an
honest heart? Depend upon it some
of these days you will be wanted. The
time may be long deferred you may
grow to manhood, and you may even
reach your prime before the call is
made ; but virtuous aims, pure desires
and honest hearts are too few not to be
appreciated not to be wanted. Your
obscurity shall not always hide as a
mantle, obscurity shall not always veil
yon from the multitude. Be chivalnc
in your combat with circumstances. Be
active, however small your sphere of
action. It will surely enlarge wtth
every moment and you will have con
tinned increasement
Thb Gardknbb's Lassos. Two gar
deners had their crops of peas killed by
the frost One of them was very im
patient under the loss, and fretted
abont it very much. The other went
patiently to work at once to plant a new
crop. After awhile the impatient fret
ting man went to his neighbor. To his
surprise, he found another crop of peas
growing finely. He asked how this
could be.
"These are what I sowed while you
were fretting," said his neighbor.
"But don't you fret ? he asked.
"Yes, I do. bnt I put it off till I have
repaired the mischief that has been
done."
"Why, then yon have no need to fret
at all."
"True." said his friend, "and that s
the reason I put it off."
A gentleman in Des Moines owns a
very intelligent little dog, which he has
trained to bring him his morning paper
from the front gate, where it is left by
the carrier. The other day some oue
stole the paper directly after the carrier
had left it and Carlo was greatly mys
tified abont the matter. Fearing his
master a anger if he entered the breakfast-room
without his accustomed bur
den, he scoured about in great distress.
A happy idea struck him, however, as
he espied a journal lying on the door
step of the opposite neighbor, and
galloping off in high glee, he soon came
into the house with ears pricked up and
tail briskly wagging, with the stolen
prize in his mouth. It is quite need
less to add that his penetration, though
misdirected, was rewarded with a bone
of extra size.
Cclttvatx consideration for the feel
ings of other people, if yoa would never
have yonr own injured. Those who
complain most of ili-osage abuse them
selves and others tne ottenest.
Do moot and fear no one; thou
mayst be sure, that with all thy con
sideration for the world, thou wilt never
satisfy the world.
Mr. Edward Everett Hale says of the
salaries of teachers that "they gener
ally range at a grade not much above
starvation ; they are far inferior to the
salaries of a first-class cutter in a large
tailor's shop, of first-class cook in a
hotel, and very far below the salaries
paid to first-class circus riders and ballet-dancers."
T A KI1TI Kg.
Men who can cut a shine Glaziers.
The bump of destrnctivenesa A rail
way collision.
Happy thought Put the thermome
ters in me oven.
The place for proof-readers ; the
house of correction.
Question for florists Is not a rich
mandarin a China Astor ?
The month that is always open The
mouth of the Mississippi.
Farmers gather what they sew, while
seamstressea sew what they gather.
Troubles are like dogs ; the smaller
they are the more they annoy you.
A disgusted Milwaukee fisherman of
fers i chromo to every fish which will
take the bait
The crow is not so bad a bird after
alL It never shows the white feather,
and never complains without caws.
"I allow that Job was patient' re
marked a farmer, "bnt he never saw a
determined Shanghai hen sitting on a
nest full of boiled eggs."
A large earthen jar container COO Ro
man medals, bearing the effigies of the
Antoine Emperors, was recently dis
covered at Bheims, France.
Some people have peculiar constitu
tions. Mark Twain once complained,
after a long interval of idleness : "This
working between meals is killing me !"
The traditions run that Brouebam
once asked Jeffrey for XI, 000 upon a
promise to work off the debt in a year.
and did it writing the whole number ef
the Edinburgh JitTiew.
A wicked man in Davenport being on
his death-bed, wished te consult some
proper person regarding his fntnre
state, and his friend sent a fire insu
rance agent to him.
The DukeofConnanght.betterknown
as Prince Arthur, of England, is about
to make a tour in the east nd will go
up the N lie, the modern fashionable
excursion. He travels inrofnito by
special desire of the queen.
Among the dealers who applied for
permission to place booths on the
boulevards of Paris for the sale of hol
iday gifts, was one who wanted to sell
preserved heads and prepared human
bones. Permission was refused.
"I comprehend now," said John
Henry, as his wife's four-story trunk
went up stairs on an Irishman's
Bhoulder, "why porter and stout are
synonymous terms." And then he
walked into the bar and took some
synonymous.
The total number of species of birds
included in the fauna of Norway is 250.
Of these, 174 have been discovered
within the Polar Circle, and 10 of the
174 ranged as far north as within the
limits of Tromsoe Amt, while l.0 spe
cies belong to the fauna of Finmark
proper.
A Duluth paper proposes railroad
on the ice the whole length of Lake
Superior, four hundred miles, and
thinks that such a railroad eonld be
laid in the winter and taken np in the
spring. The rente would be a dead
level, and the ice, which is thick enough
in winter to bear a train of cars, gener
ally lasts till spring. Jules Verne
ought to interview the editor of that
paper.
"Bonnie Dundee" is not quite as
charming a spot as the poethas painted
it, from the accounts. Last year, 502
women there were punished for drunk
enness and 816 for crime produced by
drunkenness ; in other words, 1,314 wo
men, or 2 1 per cent of all the women
of Dundee, are such drunkards that
the officers of the law must deliver
them to the judge and the judge must
fine or send them to prison.
Jobbery in China, with a bad result
In a recent number of the Pekin
Gazette is a minute of the trial of Li
Kwang-Chao. The culprit endeavored
to secure official favor and a big "job"
by making some generous proposals
relative to the supply of timber to be
employed in building the Summer
Place, which proposals he was subse
quently nnable to carry on t He played
a high game and lost, and now awaits
execution after a term of imprisonment.
A new Swiss lake, or pile-dwelling,
has recently been unearthed at the
hamlet of Yinglcz, near Biel ; the plat
form, which was fonnd at a depth of
three or four feet, rested upon piles,
and was composed of lien nis nearly a
foot thick ; these were of oak, and well
preserved, the woody fibres of the
"'rings" being easily dctecteL It was
near this point that during the last
winter a well preserved boat was dis
covered. This was forty feet long and
three wide ; it was emliedded in a de
posit of marl near the edge of the nver.
Professor George P. Barker, formerly
of Yale College and now of the Univer
sity of Pennsylvania, has discovered "a
metallic paint which he has pateuteti,
and which he intends for application to
those parts of machinery known as
journal boxes. Its peculiarity is that.
ben heated to abont lun degrees
Fahrenheit it turns from its original
color, a deep clear red, to a pure black.
and immediately upon cooling resumes
its reddish hue. This will be a valua
ble aid to machinists and railroad men.
To discover a heated journal in a line
of shafting often requires a careful in
spection of the whole. With the use
of this paint one passing along can
easily detect the trouble by the eyes
resting on the spot the darkness of the
paint indicating the same. If the jour
nal boxes of cars are covered with this
paint, train hands npon stoppage at
stations, can, by running along the cars
detect at a glance whether a journal
has heated.
Dancing in Russia is said to be rather
a heavy pastime. The peasants in
dancing, merely sway backward and
forward to the balatrica, a long guitar,
whose notes are frequently drowned by
the shouts and songs of bystanders.
The Cossack's dance is described as a
noisy tramp. But the court dance
the polonaise (of Polish origin, as its
name indicates is simply a promenade
or march, which affords the best op
portunities for conversation, while the
strictest etiquette may be observed.
The redewa, mazurka and varsovienne
are all of Polish origin. The jig and
country dances crmtre danw.) are
purely Engbsh, while the reel is un
mistakably Scotch. The minuet origi
nated in the old French of Poitou, and
was afterwards introduced in England,
where it was long and deservedly pop
ular. 'Ihe walta contrary to the popu
lar belief, is also of French origin.
The polka was brought from Hungary
in 1W0. The election of President
Polk abont the time it became popular
here, gave rise to the erroneous notion
that the new dance had been named ia
his honor. The cotillon known as the
German, is really a very old dance
slightly modified. The Orientals are
fond of witnessing ballets and intricate
pat kuI, but never dance themselves.
l1
It
J
'sane-?