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THE HONESDALE CITIZEN k THURSDAY MORNTNTGK JULY 9. 1008,
HALSTEAD'S BIG FIGHT
Victory ol Well Known Journalist
Over an Unknown.
TERRIFIC BLOWS EXCHANGED
Dafoatad AwalUnt Takafl Off Hli
Ouard by Htm Word Odd Actions
of Hla Companion, Who Could Run
Backward Llka Crab.
Mont Ilalatead, one of the leadors
la American Journalism for more than
half a century and widely known as a
vigorous editorial and magazine writer,
who recently died at his home In Cin
cinnati, aald that the fiercest fight be
ever had In hit life he once had with a
'stranger. It la said be never knew
what the fight was aboctf' neither did
be erer learn the oanwof his enemy.
This eventful fight," be said, "took
place a number of years ago." lie was
walking up tbcateps of the Cincinnati
postofllce Slid was alone. Going up ho
saw coiiHng down a tall, powerful
maivnccompacled by n smsli under-
rhsp. Mr. Halstend raid that ns
advanced toward them he paw
tbey wero very much Interested In his
Dersonal annearancc. The tall and
more powerful of the two men coming
toward hun was making Insulting re
marks. As be passed Mr. Ilslslcail on
the way down hla criticisms were of
such a personal nature that the editor,
who bad tried to keep his self control,
concluded that It was easier to fight
than to try and contain his rage, sajs
correspondent of the Ilttaburg Ills
patch. Bo he swung around on one
bee! In the good old Cincinnati style
and struck the Ohio citizen who did
Dot like hla appearance hack of the
ear. Coming down with tbo full
weight of hie powerful figure upon tbo
descending body of hla enemy, tlie
weight sent the fallen one clear out
over the curb Into the middle of tbo
treat, where hla head Imunded over a
few cobblestones before be came to
He waa knocked far enough away for
a moment for Mr. Ualstead to turn to
the smaller man. lie found him with
hla bands In his pockets coming to
ward him. He knew that this was
not a good sign In a fight, and so he
made a rush for the little man before
be would have a chance to draw a
weapon. As the gigantic editor came
toward him, aflame with wrath and
boiling over with the sense of mus
cular power, tbe little man performed
a feat which I have never beard re
corded In any known history of ath
letic feats, lie ran nt top speed back
ward up the steps without stumbling,
ever keeping his eyes upon his ad
vancing foe. Mr. Ualstead saya that
be ran backward up tbe stops so
much faster than he could forward
that he gave him up and turned to
meet the citizen whom be bad knock
ed below and who waa now coming
Op the steps In good courage and good
pluck, ready to destroy Mr. Halatead.
"Then," said Mr. Ualstead, "a fight
began tbe equal of which I have nev
er personally known. I bad the ad
vantage of being on tbe upper side.
We exchanged somo terrific blowa.
He hit me a number of times on my
arms. Each blow was so powerful
that It temporarily removed the flesh,
and the blow went clear through to
the bona. Vou have no Idea bow It
hurts to be struck on tbe bone of your
arm In that way."
Mr. rialatead obtained tbe secoild
knockdown, although before arriving
t this glorious result be received four
DC five body blows, hod one side of
his bock scratched well up and bad
generally disarranged hla dress. As
bis opponent went down the second
time the little man, who bad been
dodging around behind them, again
ran up the stairs backward.
Aa the man who bad been sent to
the gutter twice arose deliberately to
come up for another bout Mr. Hal
stead's partner camo around the cor
ner. He was an absentmtnded in
dividual who walked tho streets in
those days twirling n penknife In bis
bands. lie came running, with his
knife In liU hand, but before he got
close enough to mine to tho rescue Mr.
Halatrad'H opinm-nt was back In front
of him. The field marshal said he
wss nearly siieut nt this Btage of tbe
Same. lie mild ho had Just a quarter
of one luiw; left to breathe with. The
perspiration lull down his body In
streams, and at times there were such
acute pains In his spine that he near
ly screamed. Ills partner cried out as
be camo donn, coining a word which
Mr, Ualstead lind never heard before,
"Get out, you scurf!"
Whether It wns tbo sound of this un
usual epltbet or not, the opponent was
taken off tils guard, and Mr. Hal
stead's huge fist struck him under tbo
nose. The thumb of tbe fist went by
Into his rlKht e;o, and the knuckle of
the left finger went Into tbo other eye.
He again fell Into the street. Then he
arose, Hhook himself and started off
on a dead run, as If be was thorough
ly satisfied with tho morning's work.
Mr. Ualstead was helped to bis office,
nd It nas sevoral ilnjs Iwforu be re
covered from the shock. Hut he nev
er had the Hutlsfuetlou of knowing
what the row was utiout.
Sun Cure For Bald H.ad.
A fanner north of Vouugituwn, O.,
has a new growth of hulr on his here
tofore bald bead. It cuinu about this
way: Boveral weeks iiko tho farmer
went Outline and was so Interested
that ho forgot bis baru bend. The sun
blistered bU scalp ho badly that tho
skin peeled off, and whou tho new
skin came on n luzurleut growth of
hair came with It. Dr. 1 Unit of Youngs
town vouches for tho storv
Volnpuk, tho name mado up for a
"universal laugiiUKe," Invented In 1871)
by thu Btrablan clergyman Johanu
Martin Selilejer, comes from vol, re
duced mid altered from tbe English
world, uml puk, meaning speak, or
Ouo of Uiu hlstoilu trees of thu coun
try Is an npple trio th.it Btauds In
draco churchyard ut Ilnuidway and
Tenth street, New York city. Tho
old trcu commemorates tho memory
of Mjnlieer Itretort, who Uroo the
surveyors froui his laud with a don
and a stick, and so a curve was niadu
lu tbe street.
Wales' WalUd City.
Chester, lu Wales, a city founded
1,500 years before America was dis
covered, Is I'vcu at thu present time
surrounditl by n wall from twelve to
forty feet high, built by tho Human
legions uuder Julius Agrlcola,
Bcentcd tea Is tury largely drunk In
China. This Is mado by lulling orungo
blossoms Willi tho tea and letting It
remain tightly shut up fur twenty
Borne musical notes nro low and spl
cmn and others high and quick ho
causa tho vibration of musical strings
varies from thirty-two vibrations per
second, which produce a soft and deep
bass, to 16.000 vibrations per ae&QDd,
wmcn yield a snary trsi
Pnsei-rlag the Btrscgth of Timber
One of the significant signs of the
times is the awakening of tbo Ameri
can people to tho dangerous destruc
tion of their forest wealth and the ne
cessity of a wise uso of what remains
of It Undoubtedly In the future the
nation must utlllso Its forest crop less
wastcfully, both In tho woods end In
tho mill, and must mako provision for
future crops. Hut that la not the only
way to prolong the Umber supply. If
Iho service of tho wood which Is used
can be lengthened It will largely de
crease the amount of timber which
must be cut And this can he done
by treating the wood with chemicals
which will poison the low forms of
plant life which attack It raid cause
It to decay. Tho growth of timber to
low, and when tbo dearth of It be
comes pressing a new crop cannot be
grown quickly enough to prwent a
time of severe shortage. Preservative
treatment of timber has tho ndvantsge
as a remedy that It can be applied
Immediately. Its Importance Is there
fore attracting Increasing attention.
Many chemicals have been used for
the preservation of timber, among
them being blue vitriol, corrosive sub
Umato ami chloride of zinc. One ef
fective preservative Is the substance
called "creosoto oil," or "creosote."
On account of tho similarity of the
names many people Buppone this to be
tbe creosote obtained from wood, such
as can bo obtalnod, refined for medic
inal purposes, nt the drugstores. Dut
the two aro quite different nud should
not lie confused. Tho creosoto used
hi wool preservation. Is obtained from
coal. Much study Is bring devoted by
the United Stntei forest service to
creosoto oil to determine what Its com
position should lie to rIm the tswt re
sults In iircHorvliig tliulsT under dif
ferent conditions and how the most
desirable crccmolps may bo obtained.
Tho reorts of ttn studios, together
with n detailed description of tho
more economical processes of applying
tho preservntlws to wood, have been
worked Into circulars, which tho gov
ernment has placed nt the dlsjiosal of
nil users of timber and which will lie
furnished to all who make tho ropiest
of the forester at Woshlngton.
A Doctrine and a Condition.
It seems a little odd at first that tho
United States should threaten foreign
powers with the big stick If they lath
er with established republics on this
continent and then mix In as no aro
doing In Cuba and Panama. We would
unhesitatingly protect those republics
from foreign plotters and with a caso
ss good as the present seems to be
might prove ourselves Inconsistent
should we keep our hands off. Bo long
as we stand sponsor for republican
government In Cuba and Panama we
are In duty bound to see that the peo
ple and not a band of conspirators or n
coterie of oligarchs are at tho head,
In case of Insurrection In either Cuba
or Panama thu world would expect the
United States to act promptly, and as
things are in both republics fraud nt
the polls would be certain to end lu
Insurrection. It Is believed that thu
presence of the American troops and
officials In Cuba will tiosslbly Insure a
fair and peaceful election, and tbe same
reasoning sanctions tuklng time by the
forelock lu Panama. To look calmly
on wbllo trouble Is brewing would seem
to mean that trouble and an excuso to
annex are what Washington wants.
Practically, since wo aro the sponsors
of peace in Cuba and Panama, wo aro
compelled to nurse peace in those re
publics. The New Confederate Commander.
One of General John D. Gordon's of
ficers and a soldier after his own heart
was chosen for tho place which he so
long held when the Confederate veter
ans at their recent annual gathering
elected General Clement A. Evans com
mander In chief. Gordon was tho first
commander of the united camps of tho
survivors of the urinles of tbe Confed
eracy. While ho 'lived no other leader
was thought of. Thu late commander
In chief, S. I. Lee, was, llko Gordon, n
lieutenant general lu rank ami through
long association with the veterans In
their reunions was tho logical xucces
sor of Gordon.
General Evuns led a division of Geor
gians in Gordon's nrmy corps at Appo
mattox aud fought there with Sheri
dan's troopers after thu historic vhlte
flag (skirt, shirt, handkerchief, or what
not) had been rubied. Sheridan person
ally told Gordon tho truce was on, but
the aggressive Georgian, fighting lu tho
"lost ditch," refused to call off Evnns'
men uutll Little Phil showed him it
was no bluff. Starting lu 1S01 its colo
nel of one of Georgia's crack regiments,
Evans won his way to tho command of
a division. lie Is a typu of tho boulh's
hurd uud determined fighters n ml an
honor to tho order of United Confeder
Admiral Evuns thinks that forty
eight up to date battleships would
savu us In all sorts of war iieiils. Tint,
forty-eight Iireiii'lnoughts would cost
Undo Sam "a good deal n' money," ud
mlral, "n good deal o' money."
Now that an American horse ridden
by an English Jockey bus captured tho
French Grand I'rlx stakes It's about
tlmo to dust off tho hands-across-the-swi
That new battleship which England
Is to equip wltl a ga motor will bo it
L'1,1100 lonuiT, and the gas bill for keep
lug her moving wi'l bo light.
There will be nt least n shadow of an
excuse for meutless hash If the price
of 1eef keeps on soaring.
Consul Ttlako's vvurulngs against fab
ricated Scotch "anriiin.'S," smh as HoIh
ert Hunts chads and Mnrj IJueoii of
Scots tables, Indicates that thu "aging"
process Is upplled In Seiitlnnd to other
products than thu national beterage.
London has adopti-d tho "Merry Wid
ow" hat. Now for luoru "suffragette"
battles when the aiilhoiltlcs try to
keep tho narrow- thorouglifnii's of the
British metropolis mien for triillle.
Thu iiiotiltur riurlda made good In on
uncommonly sevcro trial lu Hampton
loads. That Is precisely what tho first
of all monitors did In tbono waters
forty-six years ago.
Great Ilrltalu intends to keep on
itullng tho wave. Having arrived with
a record breaking liner, sho will build
a greater Dreadnought and equip it
with gas engines.
Somehow a man's hatred of files In
creasoR, tvery I'11'" '"' happens to light
on thu fly paper himself.
The very lt M-ut for von In a small
boat Is thu one ) oil e-iu stick to until
thu end of tho Ixlp.
FACTS IN FEW LINES
Greenland bus a population of 11,803.
Denmark has repealed the Import
dutlesjfi rice ami petroleum.
hrfull's capacity nf cocoi Is almost
JMiltlcM. tjit year's prodmtloti ex
cooled K i. J pounds.
In Homo parts nf China tho nntlvei
have taken to raMiig gini and mak
ing several kinds of wine.
Itatiiilli-il during lil enmpllgn In
Italy uml Spain pluiuleiiil f) towns
and iWtrnyid Kml.tsw men
Bo lately ns 113 1 1 1-- l!r!t!h East In
dia fiinp-iiiy decided that trade with
Japan iina not vvoith cultivating
"t'nl.iK m.mi Inhabitants. iiuiitiint
se.iioil; piln. lpul InilL. tty telle tut "
So runs the I'lemli g". graphy lm';
Germany l now gaining l.- oe l.y Im
migration than "he n-e I.J emigra
tion. The rev pi m Is true of Gnat
l!'iln bn .MUX 1 miles nf uatlgnble
rivers nnd !N.i) miles of railroads. At
last account.! the tlier traffic mummied
to 30.il Ions n 3 ear.
The conductor on the Merced river
canyon train In California stopieil the
train long enough to kill with n rifle
a brown bear 2il jnrds away.
R. W Itanisey of (1 Irani, O., Is the
Inventor of n process for making use
of flue dust from a blast furnace In tho
manufacture of fuel which Is' Raid to
lie very promising.
Dannert gas is the name given In
Germany to n new sulistltute for coal
gas. It Is mnde from oil and coke, aud,
while not uiillku water gas, It Is much
cheoiier to produce.
Yuan Shi Kal Is urging the Chinese
throne to establish n government de
partment to deal with missionary af
fairs, something that all mission work
ers would welcome.
Pins are imt ued lu China. Clothes
arc fastetuil with buttons and button
holes or with toops nnd frogs, and a
person Is emi'i'iii'il untidy who re
sorts to hiicIi i.ial.i !-lilfts ns plus.
In n return Jut puientcd to parlia
ment the In! il of the land forces of the
Ilrltlih emu a at In le and abroad on
the nctlvc list Is g en as 4l."i,Tltl ns
compared with Griin.iii.v's lilli.mKi.
Dr. Marl: I Knnpp of Now York
diagnoses org uilc tlNeaM's by stripping
the patient ami observing the lilies and
shadows which tho Internal organs
produce nu the skill during respiration.
Itrazll has u new- law w bleb makes
every man of tucnt one to foity-four
subject to military service. Those who
object on religious grounds are nt
solied, but they lose all political priv
ileges. Thu Chicago Tribune's current crlmi
records contain no less tbau twenty
eight suicides since the paulc of last
October which wero caused by tbo re
lultlng financial losses. It is for tbe
most part a list of bankers and bro
kers. Since the United States government
liegan to patronize ei'wsltlons down to
the Jamestown fair congress has ap
propriated a total of 2S,752,2."1 for
world's fairs, of which only f!85,(IO
hos lieen spent west of tho Hocky
mountains, on the Lewis and Clark ex
position. An Industrious calculator has esti
mated that s 1 - ,.) was s-ient last
winter by tin , eople of America for
tho enjoyment f serious muslcmUBlc,
that Is to (-a), as It la known In our
concert halls nud opera houses, not thu
music of tbe comic opera stage aud
Aspbaltlc layers have been found In
Syria, near Kferle, a village nbout
twenty-five miles northeast of the port
of Eatnkla, along tho road leading to
ward Aleppo, which has Issm declared
by competent mining engineers to be
not only rich in asphalt but also prac
A meteor fell on the sailing vessel
Ecllpso while on her way from New
castle to Sun Francisco and mado a
big bole. The crew tried for four days
to keep the ship afloat and then aban
doned It aud took to the boats. Two
weeks later all but three, who bad suc
cumbed to thirst, weru rescued.
All the horses belonging to tho late
Ilrltlsh ambassador nt Constantinople,
Sir Nlcholus OVouor, havu been sold
at auction. Tho usual notice was put
In the local nowspapers, but the cen
Bor took exception, as there were horses
In thu list with the names of Pasha,
Sellm and Hamuli, which he consid
ered wns offensive to Turks, and the
list bad to appear without thu names.
French people havu decided views
regarding the responsibility of men in
pow er. A laid her has Ih'cii sent to
Jul for a car for supplying thu army
with bad meat. The damages assessed
by a Paris court following n recent au
tomobile iicclilent CO-.1 the owners $25,
WKJ. When the Opera Combine burned
In IKS" the uiaii.iglii;: director was
lined Slo.H'ii and scut to pilson for
Profi'sMir William Hallo, U, deuu of
the dep iitiiicut of phvslcs 111 Columlil i
university, who has given mine niton
tlou to Illuminating ini-tln-ls. Im called
nttentlon of New- York scientists to u
compressed llluiitluaut, .whhh I called
lllaugas and which e.iu be taken homo
In hlccl bottles ami fed Into the bum
ers by means of llttlu coplier tubes no
larger than ordinal)' wiles. Tho sub
stance Is named after lllati, a German
scientist who discovered It.
Kissing games are under tho ban In
lehools controlled b) the Loudon conn
ty council, which bus Issued the fol
lowing notice to the head leai tiers
"Attention lias lueu iliavwi to Hie fact
that til some of (lie silioulii l.lHslog
games are still jir.ntlii'l bv Ibe 111
dlell (Ml llieillelll gl'in.ill Hill
the Is iiilisld I noil, .liable II. n. I
inaslcri and lieaduil'diesiii t ir 1 uiul'io
'county colllii II hi li'iolM and iniunigcltt
nf iiouprovlileil siiiiiola me then-rum
to arrange that such games bo ilUeoii
tjmieil." At n rcceut bullfight held In Spain
to raise a chailt) fund the honors weio
decidedly with the bull. Ho opened
thu "sport" by killing two men out
right, then tisised n third in or thu feuco
and trampled on thu fourth. A few
arguments of that sort will convince
thu dons that bullfighting Is not sport
for thu men.
That lens which enables tbo vveurer
to sco what Is going on all around aud
about will probably find favor with
schoolteachers and tho employers of
ihaperoiis. Thu volunteer chaperon
generally prefcis not to fcoe all that Is
straight In front, uven.
England's steel combination has a
capital of f3Tn.om),(KJiit aud America's
Heel tiust has one Just four times us
large, jet wo fancy Londoners asking,
Who buys Aincrli.au steel?
After nil tho money Invested to do
velop values lu Wall stiect, $3i 1,000,000
for nu urro of laud thciu Is not ridicu
lous. Tbo rich mini with a poor appetite
always wonders why to much fuss Is
mado oier the "full dinner pall" lssno.
No uso to Invent a noiseless Fourth
if July to) p.tn until tho other bort
Is put everlastingly out of business.
With that eight billion dollar crop In
lght It's row tlmo to "forget" tho
tj .',1 LY1 .'V,'.'!'-"'
SCREW LOCKING DEVICE i
Effectually Prevents Unsorewtng When
The locking device Illustrated In tba
accompanying engraving Is adapted tosl
be used In connection with screws to
prevent tho perpetration of thefts by
tho removal of screws from dnot
hinges, shipping coses snd the like.
The looking device Is extremely stm
Tie, consisting nf a ring or wnsbcr pro
vided with ratchet teeth which cugago
teeth formed on the underside of the
head of the screw. The locking ring Is
shown In detail In Fig. 2. Tbe serrated
surface Is Indicated at II, and It en
gages tbe surface A (Fig 3 of the
screw head. On opposite stiles of this
locking ring spurs, ( are formed which
are adapted to be driven Into the wood
LCH'KINO DEVICE FOn BCHEWS.
to prevent the ring from turning with
In use the screw Is first passed
through tho central opening In the ring
and Is tben fitted Into tho hole In tho
wood. Tbe lro of tho ring Is adapted
to snugly fit the screw so that It will
properly Iw centered. It will ls ob
served that tbo spurs C are offset and
that their butts aro presented lieyond
the periphery of the linking ring. This
construction facilitates the oieratlon
of seating the ring as the blows of the
hammer limy Is- delivered UHn tho
spurs without striking mid mnshlng
the teeth II. When tho screw Is heated,
the ratchet teeth A, engaging tho teeth
II, will effectually prcvctit unscrew lug
of tho screw. The Inventor of this
locking devko Is Aiigustln Montes du
Oca, Aartado C5, City of Mexico.
MONKEY'S COLOR SENSE.
Intarsating Experiment Mado by a
Dr. Dahl, the celebrated German nat
uralist, relates some Interesting exiierl
ments which bo made with a monkey.
He colored some sweets with a certain
colored dyu and somo bitter sulstaiici
with that of another color. After a
few attempts the monkey learned to
leave without even tasting those arti
cles of fiMsl which weru colored with
the dye aud which Indicated bitter tast
ing sutistunces ami seized at oucu upon
those which Indicated sweets.
Varying the exierlments sufficiently,
soys tbe London Times, he found that
tho monkey distinguished nil tho dif
ferent colors readily save dark blue.
Dr. Dahl rails attention to the fact that
Mayer has stated that many savnge
tribes cannot distinguish dark blua
from black uml that even children dis
tinguish this color later than nil others.
Treee and Lightning.
There Is u popular lsllef that certain
trees aro less liable than others to be
struck by lightning nnd that during a
thunderstorm It Is quite safe to stand
under n beech, for example, while tho
danger under n resinous tree or an oak
Is respectively fifteen or fifty times
greater. This Is disputed In a recent
writing by Dr. A. W. northwick In
"Notes of tho Royal Botanical Garden
of Edinburgh." The doctor says that
no tree Is Immune since lightning will
select one species quite ns readily as
another nnd tho beech Is struck quite
as frequently as nny other sjiccles. Ap
parently the taller tris-s In n neighbor
hood are the ones most llablo to bo
struck. Contrary to what Is believed
by some people, tbe cells arc not "rup
tured or torn by tbu formation of
steam, as might happen If the heating
by the electric current was very great
Tbo cells collapse and shrink up, but
aro never torn." The root system does
not seem to he ever damaged by light
ning. THE HOME FRUIT GARDEN.
Suggestions For Making It Profitable
ae Well as Useful.
The home fruit garden Is not ouly
attractive when thu straw ls?rrles are
lu bloom or lu fruiting or when the
raspliorrlcs, currants, pears, iieacbes or
other fruits are ready to pick. The
home garden Is ever mi attractive spot.
No member of the family, no visitor or
other jK'rsort can puss this garden de
voted to the growing of the various
fruits fur home use without being at
tracted to It. Such a home fruit gar
den expresses much to the observer nt
all seasons of the )ear. It speaks of
contentment, of health ami of the home
table embellished with beautiful mid
delicious specimens of largo and small
The location of the home fruit gar
lieu should In as iiear the dwelling as
possible. It may eiubline mi acle, half
mi acre, quailcr of mi iicie or II may
be outlined In the rear end of a foity
foot lot In tow ' i it) If )oil have
plulil) of laid, give the flillt gulden
HOW' TO I'VCK IIKIIUIKS.
llU'i'al space If )ou have simply a
town or city lot, make the most of this
small plot of ground at our d!sjn,su!(
relliellibeilug that by Hitting bin k Hie
new giowth every )ear on the fruit
trees many of them can li grown in
small spacu or on the borders near
You may have nun row devoted to
grapovlnes, another row to nispbcr.
rles, another row to blaekbeirles, an
other to cutnuits mnl M'Vcral lows de
voted to straw beriles, each row run
lilng tho whole length of tho fruit gar
den mid so planted its to admit of
borsu cultivation. Tho dlsisal of the
rows of apple, peach, pear, plum and
cherry trees can lj easily arranged.
Plant the rows of trees far enough
apart to admit tho various rows of
small fruits between the rows of treei.
Grapevines will thrive equally well
wheu trained to thu sldu nf thu house
or to any other building or trained to
the pillars of tho porches of thu bouse.
If theru Is a surplus of fruit It may
bo easily marketed. If sent to tho city
It must bo carefully packed. Thu eiato
shown In the sketch Is equipped with n
tight wooden cover, yet Is sufficiently
o'ii to allow the nlr tn circulate. It
will bold about sixty qunrts of ber
ries. New Wire Welding Proceie.
A Parisian metalluiglcal engineer
claims to have (leifected n process of
welding eopH-r to steel wire ho as to
niuku ii noucorroslvo coating. Many ad
vantages, It Is said, will result from
tbu usu of this new wire, such ns high
tensllu strength nnd elasticity combined
with Bmuller nirfuiu exposed to wind
and sleet than would bu tbo enso with
Iron wire of the earn" conductivity.
H.IMTOIC t'tA -, T
NEW SHORT STORIES
The Bluff Worked.
Frederick Kernochan, New York's
millionaire magistrate, laughed at a
dinner about the friends who are con
tinually brought !s.'fnrc him for break
ing tho speed laws In their motor cars
"Most of them," ho snld, "pny tho
fine and depart silently. Now and
then, however, n defense Is put In tho
strangest, tho most startling defense,
llko that of tho Scottish mnrhor
"A Pittsburg man has a shooting
lodge In Scotland, and bis bend keeper
caught a poacher one day stalking
mkmlfam i -s . J
Ha w w
"WIUT AM YE Dots' THEHE?"
along, with bis finger on the trigger of
"Hoot monl What nro ye doln'
thecrr" the keeper growled.
"The poacher whlsjiensl hurriedly.
"'Hush! You ought to understand.
Isn't jour master from Fcniis)lnulii!
This Is a duel In the American st) le
with shotguns, jou know. Tbe first to
Bpy the other fires. What was that
rustling? Look null I think my oppo
"With a muttered apology tho game
keeper hurried out of range."
Senator Kean Interrupted.
Senator Teller culled up n bill In the
senate, giving Its number, nud nuked
that It be passed, "The clerk will read
It" fald the vice president, but the
clerk bud not gono fnr before Senator
Kean of New Jersey, thu'eagle e)e of
thu senate, wns on his feet, apparently
to Interpose nu objection.
"It's all right. Don't object," whis
pered Senator Gallliiger, who sat near
Tun eleik resumed reading, "An act
to amend un act entitled an act to
amend nu act"
"Mr. President," Interrupted Mr.
"I tell )ou It's nil right," whispered
Mr, Gallluger again.
it's tiot thu bill I object to; It's tho
clerk," Mr. Keau whispered buck.
"Whut's tho mutter with him?" asked
"I dou't know," said Mr. Kean, "but
It's evldeut that theru Is no bill with
that ridiculous title."
"He was reading correctly," assert
ed Mr. Gullinger. "Just let him finish."
So the clerk began all over again:
"A bill to amend nil net entitled mi net
to amend an act amending the net en
titled nu act to authorize the receipt
of United Stntes gold coin In exchange
for gold bars."
"Good Lord, Is that really the title
of that bill?" exclaimed Mr. Kean. "I
honestly thought tho clerk had gone
Tbu bill was passed. New York Sun.
Mary Garden, tbo famous prima don
na, compared during the recent Itlchard
Mansfield sale thu old fashioned operas
with such new works as "Thais,"
"Louise" and "Pelleas et Melllsande."
With n laugh, she conciudisl:
"An operatic rolu now means Hie
vivid portrayal of a character. It
meant lu thu past simply nn advance
to tho footlights and nu exhibition of
trills, rouludes nud all tho other vocal
IlrcworkH. Tho servant maid went
homu from thu old fashioned opera mid
when bur mistress asked her how she
liked It shu replli-.li
" 'Gee, shu sung lovely Just lis If she
wuz gurgllu'.' "New York Times.
Blushing to Order.
Mrs. Elinor 01 n, ns thu nuthor of
several rather daring books, defended
during her American visit her last
book at lnmimcrahlu functions.
"Conventions conventionality," she
said nt n ten In New York, "such things
remind me in their artltlciallty of u fa
mous girls' school.
"Thu lady principal of this school
took her older pupils to tho National
acudeui)'s spring show. Entering the
bull of sculptures, sho was heard to
Bay as shu looked up from her cata
logue: " 'Attention, oung ladles! Wheu we
come to tho next statuo but ouu you
will nil blush.' "
Not the Same Battle.
Not long ago King Edwaid was vis
iting il couiitiy house near the kiciio of
one of tiouiwell's historic battles.
Strolling out one day by himself, he
met the village blacksmith reluming
from n shooting expedition. "I say,
my goisl fellow," said his majority
genially, "I titulcisiuhil there was n big
battlo fought somewhere about here?"
"Well or," stmumi'icil tho black
smith, lecognlzlng tho king, "I did
'me n round with Itill, the sitmmi,
but I didn't know your majesty had
heard of It."
Ill San Francisco thu campaign
against rats as spieailers of tho plague
Is 11 subject of linltulsal discussion A
conversation refuted by u witter lu
the Call shows that thu topic has
reached even the children.
"Wot they hunting up nil rats fer?"
"Aw, don't )cr know nothing? Hals
has thu plague, an' If you see one you'd
better look out, 'cause you'll gut It, too,
"If )ou Just bee ii rat do )ou get It?"
"Aw, don't )er know nothing?
You'lo got the plaguu when )ou'vu
been bit by u Ilea what's been bit by a
rut what's been bit by n sailor."
"Jennie Kitted foe" Too.
Surah kissed toe win n we m?ti
Ho illil Hate ami Us 1 1 und !nra;
So dli Jane uml VI.. 1. 1,
Dolly, CluriUl ami Flout.
They all liked mo pletty welt,
Anddear girls! they never hldlt
I don't llko to kiss and tell
HUH they ill.l It.
Lalcr In the day I met
tAml Halutcdl Mauil'i nnd Palsy,
Ami I also kissed l.'ozettc,
Clurn, Julia, Itath and Malnl.i.
Oh. I'm sorry fur Ilsh Hunt,
I who'vo had uo mniy, many!
Wtilto mor Irish's onu vaunted stunt
Wus with Jenny.
"If an heiress has money to burn."
Balil the prince, with a nod nnd
"Why, I really enrn't noo, iloncl.crnn.
Why I should not help v. Kli a mutch."
In Wall 8treet.
"What does ex. dividend mean?"
"Money coming In that you're al
ready spent." Now Ye-" Life.
f SIHES AND SONS.
Senator Sutherland of Utah la tbav
only senator who wns bora In Rn gland.
Senator A, J, Derertdge of Indiana
reads detective stories for relaxation
after a hard day In the senate.
Mr. Justice tlsrlan of the Onlted
8tatee supreme court has ft In mlDd to
write bis reminiscences and may retire
from the bench to do IL
Mr. J, J, Jusacrand, tbe French am
bassador to this country, la an author
ity tn English literature. Ills work on
tbe subject weigh eleven pounds.
President Itooscrelt hss accepted thS
presidency of the International con
gress on tuberculosis, which will be
held In Washington In the autumn.
Admiral Evans' flag has bean low
ered from his flagship for tbe last time.
When he Is retired In August there will
be left no naval commander who has a
civil war record.
Mr. George Wyndham, M. "tho
best dressed man In London," la the
Idol of tho ladles' gallery. lie Is to
parliament what George Alexander and
Lewis Waller ara to the stsge.
Fifty-seven years In the locomotive
cab as fireman and engineer and never
an accident Is tho record of Sylvester
O. Cnnney of Salem, Mass. Mr. Can
ncy, who Is now retired. Is eighty years
The Hon. Diehard Olney, one of Bos
ton's most brilliant lawyers and emi
nent citizens, Is to sever fits connec
tions with Ilostou as a voter and citi
zen nnd will hereafter Is) known as a
resident of Fnlmouth, which for many
)enrs has lieen his summer homo.
tlrcvct Major General Daniel n.
tlucker is tho oldest eoldier In thu serv
ice of tho United States. Ho waa born
In 1812. He spent forty-five years with
the colors. On the 28th day of April
ho was nlnety-slx years old. Ho Is still
hale and hearty and enjoy his ripe old
age with a full and contented mind.
A Yrsda Payment
Tho Tatlcnt Doc, I can't pay you Da
money whllo I ain't got none a'ready.
VIII you dake It uud In trade!
The Dentist Well, I might consider
that What's your business?
The Patient I lead a leedle Cholman
band. Veil come aroundt und sere
nade you effry nlghd for a toonf yet
At Long Range.
"I sec you read a great deal of min
"Did you over go prospecting for
"No; I can lose enough time and
money merely prospectustng." Wash
The 8pare Room.
Like Bluebeard'e secret chamber locked
Kept all the year without a speak of
A perfectly Imperial brass bed.
With downy plllowa and a anowr apread,
A gorgeous bureau redolent of pine.
A couch on which 'twere barbarous to re
Borne chairs that coet well, goodness
knowe tho Bum;
Tho furniture upholstered In rloh plum
It's worth your life to even peep tn there.
That ehowy, useless room that'a oalled
La Tuuche Hancock In New York
"Don't you enjoy the glories of sum
mer?' "Yes," answered tbe unpoetlc per
son; "it Is something of a comfort to
find tho gas bills getting so much
The Usual Teat
"Yes; he's tho most popular man la
our consular service."
"Great diplomat, eh?"
"No; great entertainer." Cleveland
An Optical Illusion.
There waa a gtrl In our town.
And sho waa none too wise.
Hut sho wore a dotted veil which made
Myopia both her eyes.
And now when through her spectacles
This person nrchly beams
It beats tho dickens, yes. at least.
How very wise she seems
Ho Merely Breathes.
Pepprey You don't mean to aay that
you absolutely do nothing?
Cholly Aw, I don't even do that
My man attends to evewythlng, you
"I suppose your Intention of camp
ing out Is tentative?"
"Oh, don't hesitate about that Yes,
there'll bo plenty of tents." Balti
The 8chool on the Hill.
Tho school that rcets upon tho hill.
With ehutterB long and KTeeTi,
Ita Bhmlows bring to ma a thrill
And whot up memories keen.
I see once more the master grim.
That selfsame righteous man;
Again I throw dried peas at him
And feet the name rattan.
Cause For Embarraismont,
"Sho sayb sho foels embarrassed In
her bathing suit"
"Possibly It's a llttlo out of Btyle,"
answered Miss Cayenne. Washington
"I admit bo's lazy, but he's got the
making of a good man In him."
"Yes; all he needs Is to have some
liody kick It out of him." Philadelphia
The Olrl Oraduata.
Bhu understood botnny, loulc and Dutch
Ami fencing nnd Swedish gymnaatlca and
Shu was thoroush In Greek and la Latin
And ehu asked for a gridiron to Iron a
KanaaB City Tlmea.
"Whut did father say when you
asked htm for me?"
"Ho didn't buy anything. He fell on
my neck and wept" Iloston Post
"What do )ou think of this remark
ablo new fnco food?"
"I should call It a skin game." Har
It Is easy enough to be cheerful
When life Uko a song drlfta br,
Ilut the man worth while
la the man who can smllo
With a chunk of coal In hla eye.
Tho Average Man's Idsa.
"novo ou ever read 'Self Help?"'
"No. Whut's tho use? What I want
most Is outsldo help." Chicago Record-Herald.
8ayt the Woman Hater.
That "all la fair In love and war"
lly Bomo one has been aald.
In other words, all'B fair before
And after yuu are wed.
The True Explanation.
"Barker Is always railing at some
thing. Ho Is very skeptical."
"No, not skeptical dyspeptical."
Fearing the Old Man.
He meant to pop the questloa.
Hut prudonce bade turn atop,
For evon If accepted
He'd have to question pop.
"Do you believe la auto suggestion?"
"Sural That's what mad ma buy a
Ml motor carr-Baitlmore New a.
Oliver Chilled Plows
8TILL TAKE THE LEAD.!
Om?,jo,ooo lbs. of Plows andJUepairs received in February, tooS
Tho If. in I ....... is,. . ...
U..V.I ' xv"l,mf uann now.
atnVk ifpi Ue,m' ,fl,eTlr ,old l",vvyne
ail-, u - """ ..-eiii - en omul i j. r..
telle; e WOOdmsnee, latket'omni It N.
KIP. i ri0wl.''iHoi1lfJ'.!. w- Shaffer, Georgetown; h. tli lloilroo. .st.rlmg; C. F
Kenam, Uxlgedaln; y. (, llaniee, Oreentnwn.nnd VVntts s lloiies laleand llnwie) Slores
THE OLIVER BULKY PLOW CANNOT BE BEAT.
Honesdale and nnRIJAH URTTO Honestfale.nnd
Hawley Stores bnAHAM W A h. Hawlev Stores
- - -Sash,
Doors and Winds, Front Sasli Door, Scvvcr Pipe, find
HuiMenT Hardware of Every Description.
Harrows, Cultivators, Lawn .Mowers,
Uravel and Tarred Hoofing, llarb Wire, Woven Kentr Win-,
Poultry Netting, and Lime and Cement.
PLUMBING IN ALL ITS BRANCHES.
Ksllniatee gl'enon short i.otice for lint Air and SI mm Mini.
Bicycles aon -
Vllhl 112IjA."VA.11 l2 V: IllTOSOIN OO.
lastmunilTrtlni In Kneel .U NK at, in, west liniiii.l Trains.
Ualljr.eicrpt Hundsr. I
ti et ti S3 I
r. m.. r. h
m , s.y Leave ..Arrive
1 to, s li ..rarboml.ili'. .
it to r a no) rs auj
. .. Wamart
I'rompton. . .
rs 14 r s m rs si
it si nun it
it u t I as re n
I ol 1 1 I!
n is t i 4i
n IS f J 44
fl BU I 1 4B
rt 94 r ii r u
n slit i ts re 45
r.it. Ir. a. ! a. H.lArrlte
I ,1 . J IAf V OUj
f Indiralea sag bUUods.
C . 81M3,M Vice President. J. W. IIUKIIIUK, rassenerr Tratllo Manv-rr
A. A. Heard, General l'assensvr Agent, Altmnr. n. V.
Trig is the most
NBW'YOrK useful, entertaining,
weekly in the
PRICE, ONE DOLLAR A YEAR.
Send your name for free sample.copy.
New-York Tribune Farmer,
Tribune Building, N. Y.
WILSON V PENNIMAN Proprietors.
Established In ia4.
Book and Job Work Promptly
KRAFT & CONGER,
Sitceaors to E. D. uaooaii
General Insurance Agents
uriiiimiiil TBI roLiowiiiB oomimi:
of Niwark, N. J.
of New York.
LIVERPOOL LONDON ULOIIE
NORTH BRITIBlf MERCANTILE
NORTH EBTERN NATIONAL,
SPKiNG FIELD V. at M.
of aprlngdeld, Uata.
H.J. CONGER. J. ADAM KRAFT
,Uur uuaranlee toupon
If. aftftr itrtvtfalrtli al li.co bollla of
Kodot. yam ea boUMtlf It bas not bano-
w mil rtnnc roar mwr, i rr
if sn lauuiti. PIU oot nd
lUMnnf, srtit&t tt lo l dfiltr t
f enrctuu. If II fill! lo UtUfr TOD
rttnrn (h bout MtUlalpf ooMhiri of tb
txUalia tbi AtaJtf f ran whom jott bombl
It, ud vtli tutu ror noatr,
And Hakes the Stomach Sweet
B. C. XMWITT ft CO., Clittaiso, IU.
Bolts by PEIL, Tho Druggist.
Inflammatory Ilheumatum Curea tn
Morton I UIU, of LeDAQ0D( In4., sajs t "Mr w.f
aaxx ma sUuiDsiuirjr itueiuu&utuii m ovtrrj hiubcid im
loUtlf lier iuffertinf wu terrible tod tier body and
ace were uwollei. almott beyond reooy oltloo t bad
lawn in IbmI fnr al tt w(k anil bail etirht uLvutclailH.
but recelTed 110 benent uuUl abu Ufed Itiu MjraUo
i;ure for Klteoiuat bun. H trara lmmedUla relief and
$txo waa able to walk about In three day. I am auro
t aateu ner me." uum vj &vnwwmt viumi
UODoadala. fa, wol .
Hr ajbbI t mift tkt hati
Fall J aaar Otayl
Mfmi A4V If
No, 57, a size smaller.
vve also Keep in siock ine cio. e, ri, .i" aim
count v. Tli billowing Hutu A gent htep
i many, I'leasaui moiiih : r, A. l .11 nn v. im ii
Fsrlnv. l-'iiiilmtnlf ; A.J. Al.rnliMin. Iltilllee
llorsn H:tkes, Mowing Mattliinrs, Iron
cL Sn n dries.
I I l
f i n
st i nu b in
; M i vn 6 an
n . f i in s vi
I It Hi
, 13 ll
I II 31
93 ri. & I l HI1
ri vr in nn
I 1 111 13 111
J i: is ii
I " -!
' II 211
ri ii' 113 as
II IP'I lis 3.'.
n m nt ai I
' II ir.
I 11 i"l
II 01 IS V7. I
IB es tu '.'I tl 31
K 11 l II V
r.s. Ir.s. r.M.
THE CLARK & SNOVERCO.
(live below a list ol Dealers In
Honesdale and Vicinity
G. & S. TOBACCO
W II Holllll'K
J Usoar Ttrrel
Tneodoru (. Urunlc
Mr. V Kroll
OnorKo U Kunlilu
J H Bteenur
J W Sharimlwn &
D Si O Srolls
A A (JrtitutiH
Menner & Co
Clark & Bullock
MrsN (1 Polt
W L Burnurd
W h llermiin
Jacoli A IIIIIit
U Biullh Si Hon
1'iil ru k Wnlr
Atkinson .V tiilnni
M It llarietl
Vf II lliKnrt
Mm T MHiicnii
(J II W'nuilwiird
E J HIi'harilHon
.laineii 11 Allies
Mnry A Wiiternon
K V Swincle
F I,Tuttlo& Co
Welsh Jt Ames
E It SchlttRer
Heniy F lieu
1. 11 l'tillz
Edwntd T Kelluy
If vc should attempt to give n list of
it would take a dozen newsiaier
Olio of the heiit teblllnoiiiills of the ex
I'ellont iuallty of
Clark & Snover Tobacco
the fuel that tlioen who now ihi H
Urty l thirty years ago, nud not ouo of
iHin wotii d chHW or mnukH any other
biandif il wero fiivou to f hem.
THE CLARK & SNOVER CO.,
1 12 to Yii Allium Ave., HCllANTON, Pa
' Oh, That Corn!"
How one can nufTor with micli a
corn I To look at, U'h filniont nothing,
but tho hurt that'll whr tonm
count. Now the lotiRiifnTliiK thoio
who ha?M falthrnlly ttitU loin of corn
curea without elTtwt. may ijiutution
our ulalt)tunl, hut, nevHilhuleBs, we
mako tt, and it'n Iruo. Wo havo a
corn t-uie that will tako out your
form rooli aud all. If iiiied according
to dlrectioni It will leave no Hureiicfi',
We warrant It your money hack IF
you aro not mitiatfed. Call Inr
CORN CURE. "
O.T. CHAMBERS. Pharmacist
Opp. U.4 II. STATION,
UONF.HDALI'J, - PA
THE. PEOPLE'S TAILOR.
lay less and dress belter. Get the
infill nf hiivinp nur loo nor cent, nure
wool, strictly fast color goods.
V. .ii urill find nur r1nl)i vrrv differ.
ent from the ordinary ready-to-wear
garments you meet at every turn.
Latest Stvies and Perfect Fit
Prices Reasonable at
no; Main St, Ilonesdaie,