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i:c►c ZEiceittr (Norther.
RASEIC7S7/0.5 mom, (rp STAHL%)
olgyag tf TATE ST. AND rATIN. .
s,ree,,pifit,npaa,l4asjettetarLY in advance.....n f . ill
l in' °:iars'cAbers,served by carriers, Fifty Cents
nies to the same person 4 00
Too c 9 N eat to one address, ..... ........ ...... 10 00
qi ... 1 ,, ,,, ,7 , 1 e: 0 1 0 0
'`lu rates apply only to those who pay In
c,ubwriptlehracennnts must be settled an
,oity. No pape - will be sent.to any person
~,,,,,,, reFpmsielllty Is not known, unless the
_... 1 „, pia in advance, . .
ADVERTISING RATER. -
i v %Ali ? v Is a a r d e ti orr Vert ng rates / which
s :l l 'r ,-, t. ..fir e c t ertlsements an c l l n n ch r Ts cl gn n allfe t re " A
';':iorc Anvthing Ices than an Inch is rated
' 0 II ,kiusire
• 5q.128.q. 3 sq.' I sq.! l 4 . c. 144 c 4 IC.
I.oa. 1.7.1' 2.21 2.75, .5.00117.1:101Et4u
vemA —.r so' 2.51) 1 n.tri 7.0 1 )J2.00 t 20.(X)
2. ,10 :Lon 5.00' R.50!15.410t 2.1.00
0 10 3.75' 4.5(1 /1.00,10.00 POO' 30 .011
. 5.00 F.5016.0025,00'4.5.00
12.411 M.001.00' 60.00
2 , 1,100 30.161.51,00
...Xl.OO 30.00 !1.1.00 50.00 90.00 1.10.(s1
and Administrators' Not lees
tudi , r ; and nstray Notices ".i.2 each;
. • net in Leaded Non panel, and
1 .f ot e 'Marriages and Deaths. 2.; per
n to regular rates ; Local Not leen,
rt .t v .driv iti• part 1e5,15 eta. per Ilne of Eight
for firqt r.ertion,l2 cents per line for set•-
rent. for each subsequent inner
Editorial Notices 25 cents per lino; Mar
"np.: Deaths 2; cents ( - Itch. Myer.
in.ortel every other week, two-thirds
Per.on. handing in advertisements
the period thew wish them pith.
otherwke they wilt he continued until
nig • at the expense of the advertisers.
.• sve one of the best Jobbing offices in the
ad are prepared to do any kind of
', tr ee or small orders, at as reasonable.
in a. good...tylo an any establishment
• o rnmunIX•atIon... 11011111 be addressed to
BEN T'N WHITMAN;
Editor and Proprietor.
E. O.IMPFLU T REN,
of tllO reae.4: Farrar If all Building',
III:7CILY M. 111111.1 , 3,
krtnrtiov wt t a ti:.V, 1'4 , 301 f.trpot, . aornin
ot, Erie, Pa. '
nr , ,onc:F. 11. CT - TLF.II.,
• -Tmsv, r 4:rrnr.l, Frio roontr,
othor Im.int,s at tc , n(11.4 to with
4, 1 , :r.1)EN AlArtviN.
kttnriievs and Conn.ellon
, ) 0 1 , -.. - i'lr . v.Tork Moelc. ?war North \Ve,t
1.0)11. , mare, Fri.., Pa.
-r Ttnhert Legit e, PreNetor,
~ • innci • and careful attention
',VI comfort of guests. arigfyin.
1;1:All'I.F.Y Se BALL.
in Piro.. Wltltpworwl. Clirrev. Aqh,
• ,• t I,unnh.r. T.nth nn.l tsnlymlp.i.
North of It. IL-pop - wt. Erlr,
r,rn • \V. (,11-7,:NNON
t TAW, nn4 Justice of the Pea , e,
• Ind Claim Agent, Conrevaneer nni
col., In nlnderneehVg hlnett, conth
of Fifth and State streets, Erie. Pa.
If. (()LF, k SON.
Rl•tnk Bonk MannfaMnrri,
Nltiortal Rank. ivli'tr7 -I f.
nn,, n. L.' F.T.T.TOTT,
"ON 3t•e+n °new ra I t.• 11 rowlOrt
rn.•, ( 1 110 n hours from .1 1 ,1 A. M. to
!t , e n d from Ito :1 I'. M. ncloll7-tf.
sAT.I""A . NT.‘N CIL,
•, - .lnie.nle anti netnil Deniers In Antlinvelto,
amnnnd and Rlarßantith Vaal. Otilft , eornPr
1-11n4112t11 ctreet , i, Prte, Pa.
11,TSM 4,Nr. [se2l3-tf.] H. T. SALTSMAN.
Brewer and. Dealer In Flops, Darter,
I,:itter,'Aie. Proprietor of Ale and
Ilrowent.4 and Malt M'arelinti.eq. Erie,
W. E. MAGILL,
t.t. entire in Rn.enzwelk'% Block, north
the Park, Erie. Pa.
TI. y.PICKF:III.7sTO, D. b. S.,
!Wm.- Offire, French street, second Ntory
rro:t ti 111 , ,1c, near the enrner of the Reed
FiIANK WINCIIELL R CO_
1, , ,,;:0n and Comm Morelionts,nna heal
Atr,tmls, 5t41.4. ,trt•et icor-tier Ninth,)
P.L. Advances made on con , lgnments.
~tintry Vendue' attended to In any Part or
‘11 , 0 , 1: WINCTIELL
r•olor and Clothes Cleaner, rnlon Blot*,
e Dr. Bennett's office. Clothes made, elean
-I..nd repaired on short notice. Terms a., rea
rllllhle Mk any.
C;f4PENCATC. ROOETt SHERMAN'.
SPE:sa"Eit C FAITERIAN,
morneys at Law, Franklin, Pa: On, in
, res.llllll , llna.., Liberty street. Pltlinle City,
~,._otylee over Kemp's Bank., Flnlnulen street.
,Iltrtinns promptly matte in all parts of the
reentei. - Jal2.
'NOBLE, BROWN .
Wh , lesale dealers in bard and son ern!, File,
'‘, Ravin!: dispo , ed of our doel: property to
..ahovo named firm, we npeessarili - mt Ire from
rnal trade, recommend Inm our Nneeessors as
-.lin..atly worthy of the vontidenen nnd patron
:, ef . atir aid friends, and the public.
scow. RANKIN & CO.
Fa.h:nnahle Titi I or,Ei frit street. between State
I Naell, Erie. Pa. Vostom Work, Repairing
-A rutting attentlefl to promptly. lipl9lA-tf.
P. P. JI'INIIV. A. WILDER..
JVLSON A: WILDER,
'llnufactarer, and Wnolosale 'Dealors in Tin
roan and Pres , ed Ware, Stove Pipe, Stove
Trimminca, fie., Waterford, Erie Co., Pa. Or-
I , rs by elan 'promptly attended to. Jnn9.
4 , rpasite i'nlon Depot, Ede, Pa.. Jas. Camp
proprietor. House - apen at all bourn. The
•Ii• lir4 table always nupplled with the cdioleest
Arita , markets afford. teh3o'6a-Iy.
LIVERY AND BOARDING STABLE,
, rncr of French and Seventh streets. Erte,
..r.ne.r&John , on proprietors. Good horses
, arrlaces always on hand at moderate
H. I.II)NTH.ONG ..tr
•troc,..c, to Walker at Arm,trona, Wholo
= loft 16rtail I).3lerA In Antitraelte and lit
•rnow. C0r.14, Wood, Irfin Ore, fie, Offer 11.
of Twelfth and, MTrtle streets. Pavt
`•••, Lock Box Erie. pa.'l,
K. kitn.rtz ft.tel9-1 r.l FOI.I.A.NKTME.
% - prx
' 'll , atl,l 6 ICII. 10 NOM!'
•'0,9;, ,, kd.tr aud n lark. Dr. Barrett.'s
tI WOVt stll Rt. my161.77-!y*
* , t Co.. Pa.. (lenrge fn,bor,
L9etnr....tlon , l acconinlo.intions all.l
ciEfo. lIENNETT, M. P.,
' and Surgeon. CHllee. Faust i'ark f4t.,
-r Fint a thtl , k's flour store,—boordq 10 the req.
W. Kelso, 2d door south of the n.
grell, on Sussnfra4 street. OffirP hour%
•rri until P. an. - 1113,10*(rrtf.
•..1 H. V. CLAUS. • .-•
a,:er , all kinds of Famil ,- Groceries and
'‘I‘I.H. , , S`t One Ware, Sc., and whole-gated...ld
" , n W!!as.l.lquorr,, Cigars, Tobacco, ..tc., tio-26
-,t Fifth strfs-t. Frio, Pa. - ifsvcrt-tf.
.f. FII.ISEIt, M. 11.,
tro nprdtt - T , Piwatchtn find •Sttrueon. Office
I 11,1 d0t•nce 61. N Peach St.. oppoBlto the Park
Olio+ hone from 10 to 12 a: ni„ P to 5 p.
and 7to p.
JOHN H. MILLAR,
F.ne,lneer and Surveyor. Residence cor
:,4,ith ntrei,t and E,ed Avenue, East Erie.
C`ronenix•rger, at the new briek Ftore,
village, has on hand a large tlksort went
PrOVlfilolll9, Woot and WllloW
"4.37,, Wines, Liquors, riegars, to., to which lel
't.rtfulle ealls the attention of the public,
`' l,o l-4 that he mtn nffer too good bargains a
in any part of Erie county.
ERIE_ CITY IRON WORKS,
I:RI1 . PA..
SL‘NT:FAL rtIHERS OF
The Bradley Engine!
A New Compound or
Double Cylinder 'Engine,
And is \Varrarited to givt
nav TO ONE lIENTRED irk CENT.
, power than a single 11.1‘linder Engine
uning the mule amount of steam.
MAN ENGINES . AND BOILERS I
OF ALL STYLES
ott. &rims AND TANKS!
Of alt Desariptiona
_ . .
. . ..
. . .
- . .
..- -' :., •••• ''..•7. 7 ..:.-- 't? ': ...,- .-;-- ' f
Grocirys, Watling, snit; gt.
The Old Groeery SUM !
CRAIG & IMtSILLTA4,
At the well known fittirid,
N o. 24 Weßt:Paiik,
!Arms, OILS, d:C.
POWDER, COTTON' FUSE,
Gun Calm, mac.
Having thoroughly refitted the above More and
stocked it with one of the
FINEST LOT OF GOODS
Ever brought to Erie, we are now prepared to
supply all the wants of the public
CANNED FRUITS, &C.,
A GENERAL •ASSORTMT
Of all the artleles usually kept In a first-class
Grocery—all froth, and at the
Lowest Market Price !
We intend to keen an establishment ntwhlch
our customers eun always rely upon procuring
what they want, and trawarrint our charges
to be as moderate as any store In the city.
Give tie a trial, and see for yourselves.
CHEAP GOODS !
Wholesale and Retail
GROCERY AND 'PROVISION STORE,
- WINES A LIQUORS.
' F. SCW.4UDECSER,
Successor to F. & %f. Schlaudecker, is now re
ceiving a splendid assortment of
GROCERIES, PROVISIONS, WINES,
Liquors. Willow. WoOden and Stone Ware l
Fruits, Nuts, &e. A large stock of
TOBACCO AND CIGARS,
ca)l and sea us, at the
American Block, State St., Erie, Pa.
my9f67-tf. F. SCRLAUDECRER.
Wholesale and Retail Grocery Store.
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL GROCERS,
North-Ewa Corwzr Park and - . Preach L.
Would respectfully call the attention of the coin
ntunlty to their large stock of
Groceries and Provisions,
NiThich they tiro desirous to sell at -
THE VERY LOWEST POSSIBLE ,PRICES!
Sugars, Coffees, Teas, Syrups,
TOBACCOS, FISH, &C.,
Is not euinneged in the city. ea they are prepared
to prove to all who rave them a
They also keep on hand n superior lot or
for the wholesale trade, to which they "direct
the attention of the public.
Their motto ts, "Quick sales, small profits and
a full otinivelent for the money." aptl'63-tf.
Eliifllag . lq4 . ll' r _.2:lali
M. V. WOUMEN .Br., CO.,
Would respectfully announce that they have
opened a store at
No. 428 French St., between 4th and sth,
ERIE, PA., '
For the purchase and sale of
ALL RINDS OF COUNTRY PRODUCE,
Butter. Poultry. Milk. tee..
Orders from •abroad will receive prompt at
ention at the lowest market Prices.
1 The highest prke in Cash pald for Pro.
10FAVINEF sOtft Mar entire stock of Furniture
to L W. Ayres, we hereby thank tbe com
munity for their liberatpatronage to us, ha ping
they will extend the same to him. We will de
vote our Mae hereafter to the
UNDERTAKING BUSINESS! .
With the consent of .1. W. Ayres toe still hold
our office in the same old place, 715 State street.,
where will be found at all times ready to attend
to the words of the eonuntinlty in our line o.
Deady Made Cadisui
Trimmed to older, Metallic and IronSurial
Cases,• or all lityles and sizes, en batid• also,
Shroud and Coffin Trimmings. Liudertakers
will Bud it,to.tbc r actioaasste tab em gi
us, as we esutpt be undersold west York.
apt 15417-17. - -11008 E ill SUBLET.•
Tna ,P Airing of every ; kAnd:An fine-er
stoldliittaatltiaa,plitla 61'4:gored, done lir
rre eet r officrayle. and at moderato ; arteps. At the
Oblee. • . ; — it
mull quantities, plaW Skr aaioied ß demi In
oittapA,Atzl at. amierlde - ,pricestvakt
Obase rpr oillia,
Dealers In '
Agents for the sale or
nt prices that-
OUR STOCK OF
P. A. BECKER a:, CO.,
Their assortmen t of
DRY GOODS. STORE,
423 STATE STREET; EWE ROL.
Southard & McCOrd,
131ECY - GOODS
NOTIONS, lIOSIERY, GLOVES, &C
Our stock is the largentecer brought to the city,
PRINTS, DELAINES, RDAS, CLOTHS,
'BLEACHED BROWN MEETINGS,
A complete assortment of Dress Goods.. every
kind of artiaeln the Notion Line, and, in short;
a geridral assectment of everything needed by
' • . TO DE SOLD AT
NEW !ft ortisc 'PRICES
Country Dealers are invited to give us a call.
We do a strictly wholesale trade, and propose
selling at such prices as will make it to the ad
vantage of merchants in this section to deal in
Erie, instead et sending East for their goals.
It. S. SOITyIIAD.D. J. ACCORD.
TEE OLDEST ESTABLIBUED
Carpet & Dry Goods Rouse
IN N. W. PENNSYLVANIA
A complete) stock of Sheetings, Prints, Linens,
Cloths, Baelcings, Flannels Irish and French
Poplins, Slohairs, Alpacas, i)elaines, &c. Also,
GLOVES ILND NOTIONS,
CaWorld get prices before purchasing
apr3'67-Iy. No. aki, Marble Front, State St
Dry Goods ) . Dry Goods!
• WHOLESALE AND RETAIL!
The largest and best stock of
BROWN AND BLEACHED SHEETINGS,
PRINTS, FLANNELS, LINENS,
Cloths, , Cloakings, DeLaines, Alpacas, Leona,
Mohalrs, Silks, Black and Colored Thlblt,
Cashmere, Silk, Broeha and Paf s iey -
.)Vlitte Goods, Hosiery,
;Notions, &e., &e.
Goods marked down to meet the market. No
trouble to show goods. Call and examine.
my=7-Iy. ROSENZWEIG & BRO.
G. P. I I3A.VIS Jir. CO.,
Dealers In all 'Linda cA
GROCERIES, FRUITS, VEGETABLES,
Fifth Street, between State and French,
Ravi g purchased our goods before the late
rise In prices, we feel confident of being able to
give satisfaction both in Price and quality.
Country Produce, -
Of every port, bought and sold. Farmer% ran
always depend on receiving the highest market
price for their articles.
,DEALERS TAr. ADJOINING TOWNS,
And on the Lines of Railroad,
SUPPLIED WITH FRUIT, VEGETABLES, &C
Give us a Call.
Renieniber May & Jackson's Market Depot
FIFTH . STREET,
For the Holidays!
. Silver & Plated Ware !
The largest assortment In town, at prim* that
Do not faiLto call on
ALA.N . N . I~c FISHER,
No. 2 Reed Block
Tyco doors East of main entrance.
TrrE CO-PARTNER-SHIP heretofore existing
between the undersigned, in the Planing
Mill, Door, Sash and Blind business, under the
firm MIME! of Jacob Houtz St Co., was dissolved
by mutant erinsenf :. :n the 21st. day of Jane, 1867.
The business willcontinued by Jacob Boots,
who is authorized to settle all the acectunta of
the late firm. JACOB RIXYTZ.
The undersigned, intending to continue the
abovo business, at the old stand. west side of
Peach, between 12th and lath streets, desires to
can the attention of the pubic to his facilities
for supplying . them with anything In his line.
Lumber planed to order, and scroll sawing of
all kinds tlmm. - Bash, Doors and Blinds furn
ished to order. All kinds of Lumber on hand,
together with Shingles and Lath. In fact, eve
is.,:thlng that is usually dealt in or done at tirst
class establishments of the kind. -Thankful far
past kind favors, I respectfully solicit a con
tinuance of the same.
ocl7-41m• • JACOB BOOTZ.
F.• A. . CO..
ICountry Produce, Groceries, Profistous,
WINES, uquons, sEGAIL.9,
Tobacco, Crockery Ware, Fruits, Nuts, &c.,
No. 514.,16p5t0 Street,
West side, between Bth and Bth Streets, Erie, Pa.
Coati paid for country produce. .
F. A. WEBER my2l-tf. W. ERHART
DE 4 1 r,P8 ' FAMILY GROCERIIS !
Tea, Coffee, Sugar, Syrup, Molasses, Flour,
Pork, Fish, Hams, Provisions generally Coun
try Produce, Bird Cages, Wood, Willow and
Crockery . Ware, Fancy Traveling Baskets, To
bacco and Segars, Fishing Tackle, &a.
. 421 State Street, Erie, Pa.
Private Families and Hotels eupplied. Goods
TcPDACCO AND CIPARS.
Tile place S mo lt a choice aof Tobaccb,
and Cigars s l at
E. B. W 3 1318 PEACH ST.,
South of the. Union Depot..
"Limeys on hand a *good assortment of the
above articles os every grade, wholesale and re
_Mass, Pouches, Boxes and Smokers'
Article' of eve, deteription. Please favor me
wtth a calk Doset Anat. Use place. WS Peach
` Ailditor's Notice.
E. - Cooper,' In the Court of Common
va. '- . Pleas of Fria Co. No. 172 Nov.
Sam'l Mahon, Jr. ) term, VW. VendlUoni Ex.
And now , Dee. 11187, on motion Li. W. Gun-
PD 36 / 4 EBM, appointed auditor. .• • . •
PER CII ILLA.N.
) Notice is hereby Wen to alt parties Interest-
ed that I will attend to the Alattms of nIY. ei*_ „
poit mi Friday, dannarl ad. atl D. / 13 .4 116
my Diesn Elle, No. =State street. • .
deel.2-aw. GED: VA-GUNNISON, Auditor. -
!wee ger Bent., ,-
ORE cieeafdpAy Vinitatrit &tie* :
Iyi, on State 'treat; vaereatiglivg • .
•-. 4 D
Jt ‘ it-3w -50WeetiVatIrt Btreet. ft
EtOILSE 13t.A.NICETS :
r 24.13,ediaget Bitay b 7 •
atake• r • 7 cumunif..•
ERIE,'PA., THURSDAY AFTERNOON, MARCH 12, 1868.
Zpertai iloitito. •
Address to the Nervous and Debilitated .
wham. su ff erings - have been protracted fro m
hidden caws and whose cases reqedra prompt
treatment torender existence desirable. If you
sre suffering or have suffered from involuntary
discharges, what effect does It produce upon
your general health? Do you feel weak; debili.
toted, easily tired? Does a little exertion pro.
duce palpitation of the beast? Does your liver
or urinary organs, or your kidneys, frequently
get out of order? Is your ttrhre aontetimes thick,
milky, floc.ky, or is it ropy on settling? Or does'
n thick scum rise to the top ? Or Is tksediment
at the bottom after it has stood awhile? Do you
have spells of short breathing or dyspepsia?
Are your bowels constipated? Do you have
Spells of naming or rushes of blood to thehead?
Is your memory impaired? Is your mind con.
grandly dwelling upon this subject? Doyou feel
dull, listless, moping, tired of company, of life?
Do you wish to be left alone, to get away from
- everybody ? Does any little. thing make yOu
start 'or jump? Is your sleep broken or restless?
Is the lustre of your eye as brilliant? The bloom
on your cheek as bright T Do you enjoy yourself
in society as well? Do you wirsue your business
with the same energy?' DO you feel as much
confidence In yourself? Are your spirits dull
and flagging, given to nts of melancholy? If so,
do not lay it to your liver or dyipepsln. Have
you restless nights? Year back weak, your
knees weak, and have but little appetite, and
you attribute this to
,dyspepsia or liver com
Now,-ffitAer,seli-abose, venereal diseases bad
ly cured, and sexual s=ans nil capable of
producing a weakness of the generaUve organs.
of generation, when in perfect health, make the
man. Did you ever think that those bold, defi
ant, energetic, 'persevering, isueceashribusiness
men are always those whose, generative organs
are in perfect health? You never hear such
men complain of being melancholy, of nervous
ness, of palpitation of the-heart. They are nev
er afraid they cannot succeed in basiness; they
don't become sad and dlicouraged; they are al
ways polite and pleasant in the company of la
dles, and look you and theni right in the face—
none of your downcast looks or any other mean
ness abotit them. I do not meats those who keep
theorgrins inflamed by running fo excess. These
will not only ruin their comititotions, but also
those they . do Mashies with or for.
Hew many men from badly cured diseases,
from the effects of self-ahuse andexces-ses, have
brought about that state of weakness in those
organs thiit has reduced the general systerp so
much as to Induce almost eery other disease--
idiocy, lunacy: paralysis. spinal affections, sal
ctde, nud almost every other form of disease
which humanity is heir to, and We real museof
We trouble scarcely ever suspected, and have
doctored for all but tilt right one.
Disenscs of these organs require the use 'of a
diuretic. HEL3II3OLD'S FLUID .EXTRACT
IHICHU is the great Diuretic, anti is a certain
cure for diseases of the Bladder, Kidneys, Grav
el, Dropsy, Organic Weakness, Female Corn
plaints, General Debility and all diseases of the
Urinary Organs, whether existing In male or
female, from whatever cassia originating; and
no matter of .how long standirig.
If no treatment is submitted to Consump
tion'or insanity may ensue. Our Flesh and
Blood are supported from these sources, and
the health and happiness, and that of posterity,
depends upon prompt use of a reliable remedy.
Helmbold's Extract Buchu, established up
wards of 16 years, prepared by
H. T. HELMBOLD, Druggist,
poi Broadway, New York, and 101 South 10th
Pnirt--$1.25 per bottle, •or 6 bottles for 68.50,
delivered to any address. Sold by all Druggists
everywhere. • noW67.
A Card te the Ladlee.—:
GOLDEN PERIODICAL PILLS,
In Correcting irregularities, Removing Ob
structions of the 3lonthly Turns, from whatev
er cause, and always successful as a preventa
ONE BOX IS SUFFICIENT
In removing obstruction and restoring nature
to its proper channel, quieting the nerves and
bringing back the " rosy colbr of health " to the
cheek of tho most delicate.
Fall and explicit directions accompany each
Price per box, six boxes S. Sold by one
druggist to every town, village, city and hamlet
throughout the world: Sold in thle by 3. B.
CARVER & CO., druggists, solo agents for the
Ladles by sending them $1 tbrough the Post
Office, can have the Pills suit (confldentlally)by
mall to any part of the country, free of postage
S. D. HOW& 8010 Proprietor,
zny9'o7-Iy. New York.
a SEW FOR TIEC lUNDHERMEEL
Phateta4 ••Night Blooming Comm",
"flight Blooming Corm."
Phalan's "Night 13 Ciereas.”
Phuloafs ,5•111011 lalsewhig Ceretuht ,
Phwlent• -. 6 :4fight >lilwmias Ce'reisaM
11 most emquhdte, delicate, and Fragrant Ferfonie,
diet led from the rare and beantlftd sower frog
which it taken Ita name.
Iliumfactored only by •
PIIALON 8c NON. New T'Driz..
'BEWARE OF COUNTERFEITS.
ASR FOR PHALON'S—TARE NO OTHER.
Errors of onth.—.A. Outten= who suffer
ed for years from Nervous inehility, Premature
Decay and all the effects of youthful indiscre
tion, will, for the sake of suffering humanity.
send free to all who need it, the recipe and di
rections for making theiirdple remedy by which
he was cured. Sufferers wishing to profit by, the
advertiser's experience,cati do so by addressing,
in perfect confidence, JOHN B. OGDEN,
my16117-li. 42 Cedar St., New York.
To Consumptives.—The Rev. Edward A.
Wilson will send (free Of charge) to all who de
sire It, the prescription with the directions for
making and using the simple remedy by which
he waft - red of a lung affection and that dread
disease Lunsumption. His only object is to ben
efit the afflicted, and he hopes every sufferer
will try this prescription, as it will oast them
nothing, and may prove a blessing. Please ad
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No. 701 Stall Bt., Erie, Pa.,
Sto'res, Tin Ware and Sheet
• ittoric WARE.
A large asortment of
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U. &a. W. ..TENILLNISON,
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reb4ra- 1 7. - • SSIR I et tbaDifasithliu
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=ANIS hdring , illbieeeit of hie Inter.
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' the feminist w. 11l be continued by the
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It. J. SALitibtAN
i 'JAM& ' ', ' . aI. a tuaxassAre. •
(Front Putrisurea Magazine for February.]
- . Intr. oriCAST.
Her sympathies are yours and - mine,
Her heart is full ol'human love,
Her tastes, in spite of tinsel shine,.
Do naught against her nature prove ;
Not less her pity is than ours,
Nor are her joys an idle Jest; -
Sharp are the thorns beneath the flowers,
She clasps unto her woman's breast.
Bhe camelnio her life of blame,
Like n 9 ., in helplessnks of grace :
'Unconsciously received her name,
Uneonsciously assumed her place
Blessed with Maternal care, or cursed
' l With poverty neglect, she rose
Through gears' gradation and rehearsed
Tier future of allotted woes.
It was not if she could or would ;
She took her fate, like us, on trust ; ,
Her follies are no natural mood,
Nor lloes she choose for jewels, dust
For had she chosen, well we know, -
Her life had been our counterpart,
With more, perhaps, than we bestow .
In sympathies of mind and &art.
The glances of her evil eyes
-On us pass judgment none the less
Than we, who talk in saintly guise,
'Condemning what we only guess:
Where we discern a gulf between,
She sees a simple line of chance,
And holds that we like her had been,
.„ But for the chain of circumstance.
The stars that guard the lover's talk .
Are not more chaste with holy light,
Tn when they guide her wayward walk
hrough the waste‘places of the night;
Anti he and we beneath their rays
- Reason the same or reason not,
And misinterpret others? ways
- To take our own the happier lot.
And which of us the saints shall say
She's wholly wrong nor partly right ;
Or who beneath that.paintod.clay, •
Pronounce there is no blameless white P
Then cast not at her stones of pride,
Li;ir stooping from our high above ; •
But, moving humbly at her side,
Lift up her lye with saving love.,
KITTY'S NEW COLLAR.
Kitty 'Cutting was a nice, pluinp little
maid of•eiglueen summers. 'Her uncle was
a miller and pretty well to do-in the world.
AsKitty was likely to be an heiress,this con
deration alone would have attracted lovers,
if Kitt} had been considerably less attractive
than stir really was.
It so chanced that Kitty's affections cen
tered on a young man whom her uncle, the
miller, by no means approved. This was
Harry Billings, a young farmer in the neigh
borhood. The miller's whole ground of dis
approval was that the young man had not
quite so large a share of worldly possessions
as he thought his niece had a right to ex
The consequence was
.that he forbade
young 11. the houhe,'and requested Kitty to
give him up.
Her eyes snapped in a very decided man
ner, and though she had said nothing, ft was
very evident that she meant considerable.
However, she was obliged to dissemble, and
Harry thought It prudent not to approach
the house, when the was at home. By
way Of compensation Kitty was in the habit
of letting him know when her uncle was ab
sent, and on these occasiims they would pass
a social evening together in the great square'
kitchen, Kitty sitting on one side intent upon
her knitting, and her lover fully occupied in
looking at her. He succeeded in getting
away before the miller arrived, otherwise
there would have been a scene.
"Kitty," said the uncle one day, "I have
got to be away this evening, and probably
shall not be back before eleven or twelve
o'clock." Kitty's eyes sparkled—l dare say
my readers can guess why.
"I have got to go over to town. (ten miles
distant,) to see SqUire Hayden. He owes me
some money. 130 you will have to pass the
evening by yourself." •
"I don't think I .shall be lonely, uncle,"
said Kitty demurely. "I shall be so busy
"I shall be home as Bonn' as possible," said
"Don't hurry on my necount," said Kitty,
The miller' went over to his work, and ,
witty busily scratched the following note:
DE.UI Mum—Uncle is going away this
evening, and thinks lte will not be back he
tore eleven .o'clock. I thdught you might
like to know. Km's.
Folding this up. and directing it to her
lover, she called a little boy who was passing
"Do you want to earn three cents r
"Don't I though l"was the reply of Young
- "Then carry this over and give it to Mr.
Billings; and mind you don't let any one
else see it
The boy nodded understandingly, and was
off on his mission. •
Kitty was unusually jively and chee , ful
through the day, and was unusually active
In expediting her uncle's departure.
"I'm afraid it is going to snow," said the
miller, loOking up at the clouds.
"Oh, no it won t," said Kitty very decided
"Ton seem tote quite positive," said her
"At any rate, I don't think it will," said
"One might almOst think thitt you want to
get Inc off," remarked. the miller, considera
bly nearer the truth than he imagined.
"So I do," said Kitty, with lucky self-pos
session. "You said, uncle, you expected to
receive some money, and I thotight if you
did, you might, perhaps, buy me a nice new
Kitty was seized with momentary com
punction ; but after all she was not going to
do anything much out of the way, and so she
soon got over it.
Precisely ten minutes after the miller's cart
WAS seen rumbling up the road, Harry Bil
lings made his appearance: f •
Perhaps the reader will not be 'astonished
at his hitting time so well, when he learns—l
beg pardon, she learns (I always give pre
cedence to my own sex)—that Harry had
been watching•around the - corner for over an
hour in great impatience for this sign that the
coast was clear. •
Kitty was knitting demnrelv by the fflre,
when she heard Mr. Billings step on the
"Good gracious, Ilarry, how you surprise
me," said she, looking up with a merry smile.
"So unexpected you know."
"I thought I'd just look in on you," said
her lover, with en answering smile. "I sup
pose your uncle is at home r
- "I am very sorry to say that he will be off
all the evening. Yon will have to call
"I guess I'llsit down and wait tiH he comes
back,' said Harry, taking a seat in as imme
diate proximity to her as lie dared venture
I am not going to detail the conversation
that took place between Kitty and her lover.
Thoughinteresting to them, have strong
doubt whether it would be equally 'so to my
present readers. The general subject, how.
ever, was devising ways and -means to pro
pitiate the determined uncle, and remove the
obstacle to their union.
This, however, was rather a difficult mat-
ter, and they could not decide upon anything
which they thought would answer the pur
Meanwhile, time was passing, and . that
rapidly. Ten o'clock came.
- Kitty and her lover were in the midst of
tin interesting, disquisition, when to their in
expressible consternation, the familiar rum
ble of the miller's cart was heard as it entered
- "Good gracious !" ejaculated Kitty, "'what
could have brought uncle hemetoloon ?"
"It's only ten minutes past ten," said Har
ry, looking hurriedly at. his watch.
"Something or other has happened to
lainen his return. Is it possible that be sus
pect§ anything about your being here? Oh,
what will he do when he tinds,you ?"
"He can't do any more than order me out
- of the house," ' said Harry. "Don't be
alarmed, Kitty, I'll take All the blame."
"But yen can escape - . You must." • -
This seemed to be impossible, minim then
the miller was heard knocking his feet
againste - 1
Quick ; let me hide you inthe closet,"
She flew: to the closet. and opened the
door, pnahed.in the bewildered Hany, and
buttoned him in. '
Then With .her face a little fiusheit she
phlMPed down on bernieking-chalr, and was
knitting very industriously, when her . uncle
entervl.. . •
"Rev, Kitty,"'said her uncle, "I. suppose
you di'n't expect to meet me quite so_soon
uncle," Kitty, !'eby It ital more
"The way of it 'was, I happened to meet
the Squire at the store, tour miles this side of
his house and we transacted our business
there. So, you see, I gainetrati hour or more
in that way." -
"Wish the Squire had stopped at hotue,",
thought Kitty. •
"Have you been lonely, Kitty'. , " asked her
"No, air," said the niece, demurely; " I
busy von }mow." -
You are getting to bequite ...industrious,
The miller took off his boots.and saldewn
composedly at the fire.
Kitty was in hopes that he would go to bed,
that she might give her lover a chance to es
cape. But this he did not appear at all in
clined to do.
"Isn't" it most bed time, uncle 1." asked
"I don't know bow it is, but I don't feel at
fill sleep, to-night"
Kitty inwardly groaned.
"But if you are sleepy, Kitty, don't wait
"Oh," said Kitty, looking particularly wide
awake, "I feel as if I - could sit up all night+'
"Where is the weekly paper, Kitty ?"
Kitty would have liked to have sai
d I don't
know, for she knew if her uncle would get
hold of that he would - quite disregard the
passage or time. Unfortunately, there was
the paper on. the table under the kitchen
glass. It was the first object that met her
gaze as shelooked.
"I see I'm in for a siege," said Kitty to her
self, but I can stand it as long as he can.
That's a comfort. Rut I'm afraid harry will
find it pretty dull work in the closet'. What
will uncle say if lie should find out he was
Half an hour passed.
The miller, who was a slow reader, was
intent upon a story which interested him—
aaw with a despairing glance that he
was not quite half through, it.
She was beginning to be sleepy herself, or
'4odid have been if she had not had so ranch
to keep her awake.
"Kitty," said her uncle, looking up sudden
ly, "you had better go to bed. It's most
"Are youoing to bed, uncle?"
"No, not yet. I tvant• to finish thb
story. Its a pretty cute one. But I shan't
need company. So don't ait• up on my ac-
"I should not go to steel:ill' I Went to bed,
uncle. Besides 1 want to get so much done
before I go." ' r ,
"Well, child, just as you like. Bless me,
what is that
Kitty turned nate. • There was a sup
pmsed noise in the closet. Harry had evi
dently got tired of his constrained position,
and was stirring around a little.
must be the cat," said Kitty hurriedly.
"The cat I - Do you allow her to be in the
closet ° She ought to be driven out !".
The miller rasp, but Kitty quickly antici
She went to the closet, opened it a trifle,
and called "Scat !"
"No, the cat is not there," alto said. return
ing to her seat. •
• Quarter of an hour passed. '
Again a noise of a more decided character
was heard., Harry's elbow happened to hit
against a plate, and it fell with a sudden
crash to the floor.
"I'll see what it is," exclaimed the miller.
He threw open the door, and ont rushed
Harry, looking rather foolish.
"Well, I never "." ejaculated the miller.
Before he had time to say anything further,
Kitty said hhrriedly:
"Uncle, didn't von - promise me a collar ?".
"Yes," returned the miller, "but—"!
Kitty pressed to the side of her loyCr, who
passed his arm around her neck, and then
said, while her eyes twinkled with mischief:
"This is the collar I want, mcle. You
promised me, you know ?"
"And I'll keep it,'Kitty," said the old mil
ler bursting into a hearty laugh; "no matter
what it costs."
"Two months from that day Kitty Cut
ting changed her name. Some rears have
elapsed, but she has not yet got tired of the
"collar" which her uncle gave ler. • '
Angling for Dog.
"Brick" Pomeroy tells'the following
Another time we were travelingon grounds
we had no right to tramp over. The only.
excuse was like that of military riecessity.—it
was better fishing through the farms ivhere
the trout had been preserved• than in the
open lots where all could fish.
It was early morning. We had risen at
three, ridden ten miles and struck the creek
as the trout were ready for breakfast. Look
ing carefully for a sheltered place to hitch our
horses, we slyly crept on behind fences r etc.,
till we reached the part of the stream not
generally fished. A :liana house stood a quar
ter of a mile away. We saw the morning
smoke curling lightly from a stove-pipe—
saw a man and two boys come out to do
,chores--saw two women busyabout the door
and a ferocious bull dog wandering about the
If ever we fished' close, it was then. Not EL
whiiper to disturb the birds, or the owner of
the land. We crawled through the grass—
dodged behind clumps of alders, and lifted
large speckled beauties out of the water till
our basket was full. - • P
'This *as the time to have gone; but the
trout were so large and bit so readily, that
we could not withstand the temptation, so
we decided to string and hide what we had,
and take another basketfill. So at it we went.
No-sooner would the hook touch the water
than we had a trout., We forgot the. house,
the man, the boys and the dog!
Suddenly there was a rushing through an
oat Held, as if a mad bull were coming ! We
looked toward the house and saw the farmer
and his two boys on a 'fence, the women in
the door, and the bull-dog bounding toward
us. We saw it all—we had been discovered.
The well trained dog had been sent to hunt
us out, and, as the matter appeared, it was
sate to bet he was doing that thing right
To outrun a dog was not to be thought of.
There was no time to -lose. He cleared a
fence, came for us just as we reached a !Font
seat on a limb above his reach.
Here was a precidus go! A vicious bull
dog under the tree, and a farmer and two
big_ boys ready to_move down upon our
works. It was fight, toot-race, or fangs!
" The farmeryelledto his dog—" Watch him,
Tige proposed to do that little thing, and
keeping his eyes on us, seated himself under
the tree. •
Then spoke this ugly farmer man—"•rust
hold on thar, stranger, till we get .breakfast;
then we'll come and see you! If you are in a
hurry, however, you can go now ! Watch
We surmised trouble—quite much; for
twice had that bold man .5f bull-dogs and
agriculture elegantly - wolloped innocent
tourists for being seen on his suburban prem
ises. His reputation as a peace man was - not
good i and there arose a large heart toward
our throat !
Time is the essence of. contracts, and the
saving ordinance for those in trouble. We•
had a stout line in our coat pocket and a
large book intended for rock bass if we failed
to take trout: : And as good luck would have
it, we bad a nice sandwich and a piece of
boiled corned beef in our other pocket. •
We called the dog pet names, but he wasn't
on it! Theri we tried to move down—when
he moved up ! At last we trebled our bass
line, fastened the great 'limerick to it, baited
it with the corned beef, tied the end of the
line to a limb, and angled for dog!
Tige was in appetite. lie smelt of the
beef; it was very nice. He swallowed it, sat
still with his eyes on us for more, but with
no friendly look beaming from his. coun
tenance. Not any!
When we pulled gently on the tine—it was
fast! Tige yanked and pulled, but it was no
use ! The attention of the canine was divert
ed from us—his business was being done by
another line t
We quickly, slid down the tree—corning _
near blistering our back down it—seized the
basket and pole, and straightway went thence
We found our string of fish, and reached
the bug mr and a commanding spot in the
road in time to see the sturdy yeoman move
We saw him and his cohorts, male and fe
male, move slowly, as if in no haste. 'We
'saw an anxious group engaged : about the
dog. We came quickly home, and kindly
lett the basa line and hook to the tanner.
MoNit is evidently scarce in some South
ern newspaper °faces, judging fr om the fol
lowing, in the DeKalb Flag,.. published in
Mississippi: "One gentleman—yes,.one gen
tleman—has paid us three dollars for the Flag
for 1968,.and another, just 'as - clever, has
brought us some 'tater< Several persons
have promised" .us have-some corn.
Since writing the above, we have received
..twenty;four pumpkins and a load of shackle
The editor calls these receipts `!sirsis of pros-
"Mrs. Jones is a right nice woman, good
hearted, and that, but I ern sorry to say she
is no housekeeper."
"Don't know how to cook, suppose ?"
"Oh, yes, she knows how to cook—never
sat down to better bread, and cake, and cof
fee, and relishea, than I've seen on her table,
and she does her own work, too."
• "What is the trouble, then ?" •
"Why, she isn't neat—don't keep things in
'order, as a woman should."
"Don't comb her hair, , or sweep her room,
or dust her things?"
"Her hair always looks well enough, and I
believe she sweeps and dusts every morning,
but then she lets her childrin have their own
way too much."
`:Does she? I really was not aware—"
"I mean," said Mrs. Smith, "they have their
baby rags, and dolls, and •blocks, and play
things over the floor, and they keep house in
the corners of the room, and I don't know
what alt;-now, I should soon go distracted
with all that nonsense."
"So you don't allow your children such
privileges, do you ?"
"I rather think not; they have to do better
than that when I'm about:"
- "What's the use of having a house in such
confusion, and everything all sizes and sev
"Well, now, Mrs. Smith. I want to know
how you manage your little ones. Come, tell
your rules.", •
"I don't know f 1.9 I have any particular
rules—only they shall not make any noise
around me nor litter np the floor with their
"You let them have their playthinds - jdon't
"No, indeed, I locked them long ago to
keep them from being broken. I tell you
there's no use in humoring young ones so,
much. I must keep things tidy in my house,
and the dear knows, I have a time of it any
with Mr. Smith not cleaning his _feet on
the mat, and the children moat always quar
reling about something or other."
"Do you think Mrs. Jones has as hard a
time as you have, Mrs. Smith ?"
"No, I don't believe she worries about any
thing. Seems to me she don't care how things
"Yeq, she cares a great deal, and knows ex
actly how to make her children happy at
home, and her husband is always welcomed
with a smile, mad or not - mad. When her
children come here to see mine, they are
neither noisy nor quarrelsome, but gentle,
playful, healthy and happy.
"And my children ?"
"Well, they are somewhat different. You
see, they are kept-so tightly at home that they
are pretty boisterous in other houses."
"Why don't you send them home, then r'
"Because ittey will not go ; they openly
declare that 'Ma is cross and won't let them
play, and they don't like home a bit.'."
"Do my children thus speak of their moth
er?" said MN. Smith. as she arose and drew
her shag I at ottrid tier veil to hide the coming
"They often do it, my dear friend ; but
take courage—there is time yet t& dray; their
he its to you. How' patience with them;
§it - E - thent their toys, and let them enjoy them
in their owu home. Your house is always so
painfully neat and quiet that I almost hate to
"You shall hate it no more on that ac
count," said Mrs. Smith, as she wrung her
friend's hand. "I own up that Mrs. Jones is
the better housekeeper."
Gough's Apostrophe to Water.
We give below the celebrated apostrophe
to water which Hr. Gough is in the habit of
introducing with so nitwit effect in his tem
perance addresses. Though popularly at
tributed to him, he is not its'author. Its first
appearance was in a sketch published in one
of the magazines, purporting to he a descrip
tion of an eccentric and eloquent Baptist
preacher who flourished in Texas many years
"Look at that, ye thirsty ones of earth !
Behold it ! See its purity ! How it glitters; as
it a mass of liquid gems ! It is a beverage
that was brewed by the hand of the Almighty
'himself! Not in simmering still or smoking
fires, choked with poisonous gasses, and sur
rounded by the stench of sickening odors
and, rank corruption - loth our Father in
Heaven prepare the precious essence of life,
the pure, cold water: but in the — green glade
'and grassy dell, where the deer wanders and
the child loves to play; there God brews it ;
and down in the deepest valleys, where the
fountains murmur and the rill siqgs ; and
high upon the tall mountain tops, where the
storm clouds breed and thunders crash; and
away far out on the wide, sea,- where the
hurricane howls music and the big waverolls
the chorus, sweeping the march. of God—
there he brews it—that beverage of life—
health-giving water ; and everywhere it is a
thitigint bthuty, glimmering in the dew drop,
singing in the summer rain, shining in the
ice-gem—till the trees all seemed turned into
living jewels; spreading a gold veil over the
setting sun, or a white gauze around the mid
night moon, sporting in the cataract, sleeping
in the glaciers, dancing. in the hail shower;
folding its bright curtain softly about the
windy world, and weaving the many colored
iris, that seraph's zone
.of the sky, whose
warp is the rain drops of earth, whose woof
Is the sunbeam of heaven ; all checkered
over with the celestial flowers by the mystic
hand of refraction, still always it is beautiful,
that blessed life water! - No poison bubbles
on the brink ; its foam brings no sadness nor
murder ; no blood stains its limpid glass ;
broken hearted wives, pale widows and
starving orphans shed no tears in its depths ;
no drunk and shrieking ghost from the grave
curses.it in words of eternal despair ; beauti
ful, pure, blessed and glorious, give me for
ever the sparkling pure cold water:"
CONCERNIRG TttE Sort..—A preacher once
endeavored to teach some children that their
souls-would live after they were dead. They
heard his words, but did not understand
them. He was too abstraCt ; he shot ova
Snatchitig his watch from his pocket, he
said : "James, what is this I hold in ply
"A Watch, sir." ' •
"A. little clock," said another.
"Do yon see it r•
"How do you know it is a match ?"
"It ticks, sir."
"Very well ,t can ant• at you hear it tick r'
All listen After a little pause :
"Yes, sir, we hear it."
Then he took °tithe ease, and held that in
one hand and the watch in the other.
"Now, children, which is the watch ?"
"The little one in your hand, sir."
"Ver,- well, again. Now, I will put my
case &side—put it way down'theredn my hat.
Now, let us see if you cart bear the ticking."
"Yes, sir, we hear it," cried several-voiees.
"Well, the watch can tick, and go, and
keep•time, you can see, when the case is off,
and put in ma hat. So it is with you, child
dren. Your 'body is nothing but the case.
The soul is inside. The ease may be taken
off, and buried in the ground ; may he cast
into the tire, or thrown Into the sea, but the
soul will live just Us well without' the body,
as this watch will keep on ticking when the
case is laid aside."
Now, that illustration that thought
will live in the minds of those children who
heard it forever. •
The Dangerous TraP•
I hears mooch 'pout to ptfrglars ail 'te
while hears dey preaka sthores Into 'em
vary mooch. Veil, I (links I vices dem so
as de next times dey goons to .mine sthore,
py tarn dew no goon: -I, puys. a pig horse
hazel not 7 vastens it mit de floor mit de
muzzle pointing to de toot. So ! Den,l
tuns a attiring from de drigger up mit (er
call tint down mit der door. vy if he plows
to tam prains of de hitzel, vy den, you see,
I don't help it, don't I? Dat's what I say.
Last night I left der toor pointing at der
moozle or der bitzel, mit two pullets in it,
unt goes out to trink some lager mit de poys
already. 1 somedimes trink too mooch lager.
Yell, I can't help it. I bogey mineself into
more as dweuty sikteealdasses lager,unt den
I goes home. Yen I pass mine sthore
dinks I had petter as look in unt see if nod
ing pea all right. Das lab right, don't it?
Von it don't I not can help it. Vell, mit so
many klasses of me in do lager, I. forgets
apout de horse hitzel unt der door pointing
at der moozle, unt ven I makes open nit der
toor,pang • py tam, I yoosht gets a pullet
mit my altiow anoder pullet gets mine
hat aru it all a vile •! Vas I scant! Veil, if.l
was I can't help it. • 'You'd be skhart your
self, ain't ' yoOsht Crow away do• hose
bitzell e vint I neVetirteta not no mom draps
for purglars'so long tus I can't help it. So
Dn. Anait CLatittk, Who had a' strong
averaion .to 'pOrk, was called - Upon to say:
grace at a dinner, where, the principal dish
was a roast Itig. He i 4 ported to have said r.
"0 Lord ! if Thou canst bless under the gos
pel what' Thou didst curse under the law
bbmithit "' '
. hole in pour income—itsY
a large rpt
Wirvii best to preieni - Old mcfda him de
spairing ? Echo, "pairing." ' -
Vitt& islireletter k
Because itlaskes.tokraad. I •
Ouv Loons says that., Mr& Caudle was
the only really successful female lecturer..
are said to be newt - equal to the divorces—
IN China there are four groan& of d tvorce
op whichflifliihrtYß theTalratiVfalSts'el".-•
- , • • - •
WEsrEnx man sais - .6e. always respects
old age:e?tcept when some one fliChs him
with a pair.of hough chickens. • •
A. CLERGYMAN bald -he addressed his Con
gregation of ladies And gentlonien- 'as breth
ren, beeange the ''brethren" enibrace the
.'.'Hs leaves two wives and three children
to mourn his loss," are theconcluding words
of a Utah obituary%notice.
_You are dqueer chicken I as the hen said
when she hatched out - a duck. .
A max in Norwich, Connecticuti dropped
a live coal into a bombshell "to. bear it fiz."
.He heard it. - - -
IWAsx a woman thinks she can do nOtitin.
without a husband, and when ehe- gets , one f'
she finds she can do nothing with him.
Dn. ElotmEs says that easy crying - widows,
take new husbands molten.; there' is nothing ,
like wet weather for transplanting. -
Waal' reason have we to believe Noah
brewed beer in the Ark? Becauie a Kanga
roo was seen going on board with hops.
PIMDENT young woman in Providence
alio looked under the bed before she re
thereon, discovered a large and Intelt
negro hidden there.
Englishman is said recently to have
invented. a scarecrow so effective that one
crow who saw it brought back all the corn he
had stolen for three years.
llonacr. GREELEY says that no stranger
who ever borrowed money of him ever re
turned it except one.. .and ho was itia Junatic
WE spend half our lives in making mis
takes, and waste the poor remainder in le
fleeting how easily we might have avoided
BOASTING of a visit he bad made to the
Queen, at Windsor, a Yankee clinched his
remarks by declaring : "I should have been
invited to dinner, but that it was washing_
A maw who had aildrmbeii. a stranger by
mistake, apologized hr baying, •"1 was mis
_the pers'on." 'Many a married
couple might make the same apology to each
TnE man lives meat perfectly whose con-
stant happiness is found in the consciousness
,that, in doing the best that he can for him
self he is also doing the best that he can for
every being that good cante done for.
"ANv game hervabonts I-aid a newly ar-
rived settler to a citizen of Hays, in western
K 1111534. "A)." "aid—the other, "and
plenty of 'em. We have muff, poker, euchre,
all-fours and monte, and jilt ai many others
as yon'll like to play."
"lbm,, did von ever go to qr.t. ?" "1 gttevi I
did, last year, for instance, I went to see a
red headed girl; but I only
. called once."—
"Why so ?" "Because her brother had an un
pleemint habit of throwing bootjacks and
smoothin' irons at people."
. Trtts followin4 conversation occurred be
tween a graceless boy and his teacher :
"What does your father do when he 'sits
down at the table ?" "He asks for the brandy
bottle." "I don't mean that. Well, then,
what does your mother do when you sit
down at the table?" "She says she will
wring our necks_ if we spill any grease on
A SA.S PitANctsco- philanthropist protests
against the practice of plucking. chickens :"
alive, which is said to be unpleasant to the
COSCOAIFI told a lady that he knew her
thouErhis by her eye.. "Do you ?" • said she;
"then I am sure you will keep them a secret,
for they are be no means to yodr advantage."
" WHAT has been your business?' said a
judge to a prisoner at the bar. "Why, your
honor, I used to be a dentist—now I am a
pugilist; then I put in teeth—now I knock
A DOWN South editor asks what is prettier
than a pretty foot, say number two and a
half or three ? After mature reflection of
six hours and a half, the editor of the Wil
mington Star replies,'•two feet" All's well
that ends well.
A DARKEY was being prepared for the.
scaffold. He chanced to look out a grated.
window and saw the crowd that was ruahinjt
and harrying to see the "fun." "Don't be in
sich a mighty hurry dar. Nuffin will he done
till I gtt dar'
Fon several weeks the Sprihfield Leader
kept the following eonspicuougly at the head
of its local column: "Boy wanted` at this
office." A. few days since, the editor's wife
presented him "a boy," which, in a highly
significant way, shows the•Valne of advertis
"Tug ugliest trades," said' Jerrold, "have
their moments of pleasure. Now, it' I were
a grave digger, or even a hauginv, there are
some people I could work for with a„great
deal of• enjoyment."
A YOrNG lady in the northern part of Wis
consin writes to a county superintendent of
schools that she•thinks it "her duty to teach
school somewhere, and that if h.• can assist
her to rite and let her no." • •
A. RAW Irishman, Just over, went into a
restaurant and was asked by the waiter what
he would have. "Why, wittles to ate ow
course," was the reply. A piste of hash was
placed before. him. "Phat's that demand
ed Mickey. "That's winks." was the an
swer. rickey eyed the compound suspi•
clously for awhile, and finally exclaimed—
"Be jabers, the man who thawed that can
ate it." _ _
A Goon joke is told of a young man who
attended a social a few evenings since.
The conversation turned on California and
getting rich. Tom remarked that if ho
was in California, he would. instead of
working.in the mines, waylay some rich mi
ner who had a bag full of gold. knock oaf
his brainS, gather up the gold and skedaddle.
One of the young ladies quietly replied that
he had better father in) the hrain4, ati lte cvi•
dently stood in more need of that article than
of gold. Torn antelded for the balance of the
CElEF.'npuum. 4 .s.—A woman may be of
great assistance to her husband in business,
by walinga cia,crful ai,iik - upon her coun
tenance. A man's perplexities and gloomi
ness are increased a hundred fold when his
better hail moves about with a continual
scowl upon her brow. IC pleasant, cheerful
with is a rainbow set in the sky -when her
husband's mind is tossed with storms and
tempests; but a dissatisfied and fretful wife,
in the hear of trouble, is like one of those
fiends who are appointe.l to torture lost
REPUTATION is ns often got by noise na.
by Merit. The man who blows his own horn
loudest and most constantly is very apt to be
considered thti biggest and best out. Plated
ware, now-a-days, in fact, appears to be pre
ferred by the. Majority of the people. Motle,st
merit has very little chance to play a tote,
where a huge base drum is beaten. The
- noisiest politiciarorcommcntirget the spoils,
the loudest preachers the salaries, and the
boldest women tho favoring worship. All of
which goes to show that the world has yet a
field for improvement.
WANTS A WIFE.—.IO 01(1 bachelor, (we
don't know where he lives, ladies.) thus ad-
vertises for a wife. 01 course he will find
one to suit him: •
"I want a wife, a first rate wite„
A girl that's all my own,
-To cook my meals and dicer my life,
With smiling word and tone.
"She must be graceful as the bell
UPoti the lily found; .- • -
And make such batter as will sill
For forty cents a pound:"
POPULAR DELtSIONS. The man who
came to this country-without--s. shilling and
now counts,his billions. , Peculiar to- tiler:
The rich man who used to pay attention.
to your sister.
That every person is a lady or gentleman.
Peculiar to car conductors.
That your son is deatined to he President. "
That you amnot so bad lookin g - after all.
Peculiar to marriageable young laies.
The good soldier whose life wassaved from
the death-dealing bullet by an net of Pmvi
dence, and the bad soldier who. was-found
'dead with a pack of carlit in one pocket and
a bottle of - gin in the other. Peculiar to re
. That you are a better physician than • any
'orthe faculty. • Peculiar to every one. •
That all lawyers are liars.
That all doctors arc killers. . •
That all_ pale.nt—triedidnes. are.
to both betoispkwoot.'
ITEMS OP Al+ SORTS.,
"A girl that ne'er will pledge a vow,
To any chap but me ;
That's been brought up to milk a cove,
And have warm cake.; for tea.