The Erie observer. (Erie, Pa.) 1859-1895, January 16, 1868, Image 1

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    Vrir tifirektv flborrber,
__—. •
,„ tor-sZWEica'S t KT
OFF. s coalcga STATE ST. AND PARE.
copies, wild srincrix in advanCe.....o2 00
Tr pd T i b er d -2 50
:.••,'ub s,served by carriers, Fifty Cents
Ties sen t e Kam(' person 400
Two c ' 1 , to one address, 10 00
tier rer'o 00
(lab,: rates ripply only to those Who pay in
,Jc3nN i • lotion accounts must be settled an
„Do. r
No paper will be sent to any person
e responsibility Is not ' known, unless the
pald to advance.
ITefollowing ad h ered vert (sing rates, which
c 3.11 be' Strictly to. In reckoning the
„,th of advertisements, an inch is considered
Anything less - than an inch is rated
- s Wuure.
,-i-"--1,;714-lOn.. 1 sq.'2sq.lso. sq.l l 4'
e - week •••' 1”" , 00; 12.0 n
1.50 2.50, 3.25; 7.00,12.c0r, 0%00
200' Sin; 4,00 5.00 8.5015,00 Oil
T• 1,;"„,, , k ,,, 2,50 175! 4.51), 6.00 10.00,18.00' 00 . .00
N asals- 3 . 75 ' : 5 • 5() I 7 / 4 14 .5 0 ' 16 . 001 .n.ria - 41 0 0
I nr ,„ths 5.01 800 10.00 12.41 20.00'30.00 60.00
mo '.
nth ., s,a) 110 16.00 aI.SO 30.00 5000 85.00
•,,s).ts) o
30,00 3.00 50.00 90.00 ' 15000
a•• •-•
Exrentors' an•l Administrators' o ffi ces N Al
Auditor.' and Estrrty Notices eac h,
sef in Leaded Nonpariel, and
••,;P:,rted before Marriages and Deaths,' Ti per
,Vat. :tint On to regular rates: Local Notices.
18,1!ors1,1 theparties,lscts. per line of Eight
tor first Insertion, I2een
s ts per line for sec
sort 6ari r,nlN for each übsennent loser
r,litortal s 2.1 cents per line: Mkt
•qats: Deat hs 2,5 rents each. Ativer
-11,,,t, re.ertisi every other week, t wo-thirds
r.'! Person. handini advertisements
the period (h e r n
wish them pub
,therwi,e they will he continued mittl
est, at the expense of the advertisers.
.101 1 PRINTING.
ttlt Oa,. of the best Jobbing Offices in the
art , prepared to do any kind of
rt n a rrre or small orders, at Ils reasonable
-•,.•.n I 331 as good st yie as any establishment
•,• rntntry.
" t ! ~nurnnnirnt}nns should be addressed to
Editor and Proprietor.
13u51itt55 ottrrs
• E. i',OIPII.IL-SEN, -
of the Rare. Farrar !Intl ni111(1111Z,
If rilt M. Itint.ET,
k•!nrro.. L.rov, Peaeli ,treel, abovllol- e rnlort
,;,•I..ETIe. 67.
(;I:OR(W. 11. CI - lI.EII,
“I"rriev at TANr. Glrara, Erie County, Pa.
•,..0 ton , and 01lier bn.lne. , at tenrle,l to with
Itsirvln„ktoirnevs and fonmellors
, 9fflre Mtraznn flock. near North West
the Publle Square, Erie, Pa:- -
r.1,!..1, Pa., Robert r.eglie, Proprietor.
rind earefni attention
emnfort of eme4l%. an,-6*65
- t F:Lj
in Nor, Whitearno.l. Cherry,
~,„--4 0 oak Lumber, Lath :tml Shim:4N.
~ . tate street, North of R. R. Depot, Erie,
my 2-11.
PhrwlAnv and Surgeons. °Mee. ei Peach
, R ;, , :nuthwest corner of Sixth. (Office open
xn.6nieht. Dr. Whilldln's residence
11,1 , , , ,trp,t, between _Ninth and Tenth streets.
.-psy at Law, and JuMice of the Peace,
and Claim /teen% Conveyancer and
On, In Tilndernechrs block, south
,ncr of Fifth and State streets. Erie, Pa.
F. M. C'Ol,r. & SON,
Nat tonal Bank.
'o. - 18 tut.• - • St root ,ormnOto Brown's
AL Frio. Pa. °Mew hours from 6 1 4 A. M. to
31.1 from 1 to 5 P. M. , 000'1;h-tr.
lola Retail Dealers In Anthracite,
• ,mlno opt and tharkgmith Coal. (Mier corner
Ind 12th qtreets, }rte. Pa.
'CALTaMAN. (se:33-tcd a. T. SALTSMAN.
‘I Brower and lipalPr In Hops, Barley',
v. 1": Veg. 11„nzer, kr. Proprietor of Al. and
Brerrpries and 7.%1a1t Warehouses. Erie,
.1-YlTait-t f.-
\V, F. r...intr.L.
ofn,, Rceionzweig's Block, north
of the Park. Erie, Pa.
H. Y.- PIT'KERINCi, n. D. S.
:.•nil.t. French street, sexond 'dory
eirrett's Block, near the corner the Reed
`uo ,,, gor , to George .7. Ntortnn. Commtssion
ia , rchnnts; and Wholesale neatera In Coal.
far N. Y. it E. and People:a Line Of Stearn
'', Eat Pnhlic Pock, Erie, Pa. -; Jargi.
11:Lotion and Cromn Poston :tterchrrnts, and Real
Agrultp.., P.M_ State street fenrner Nlnth,l
Tie, Pa. Advances made on enn.lnments.
countrY Venduea at U`11 , 11,1 to In any part of
Ile county.
T.illor and Clothes Cleaner, rnlon • Block,
Dr. Bennett's otTlee. Clothes rondo,
and repaired-on short notice. Terms ns
- lale as any.
, tornevs at I . ..rtw, Franklin, Pa. Office In
T.lbert v street. Pit hole City,
%I.—oft:lee over Koup's flank, Trolmion 'street.
r“lleetions promptly made In all parts of the
, Irettlens. Jttl2.
NOTILE, 13)3.011'S .t •Cft,
Itl).ee , ale dealer.; in hard and soft enal,
9arlnz dl.nnce4 of our doek propl.rt N. - to
.11.0 re named firm, we n , 'ol.Ggar 1 e ret Ire from
trade, reeommendlrf our sueees.:ors ns
'Tn.-nth . worthy of the ennthlenee and patron
el' our old frlend , z and the r,ut.
SrOTT,. n INK Cr%
- Tallor,Firth State
Peach, Erie, Pa. Custom Work, Repairing
run Mg attended to promptly. aplfra.-' tf.
, J , nlor - nf French and Seventh streets. Erie:
.Ton,on proprintom Gond horses
~n dages ahrav4 nn hand at moderate
7y 12 -tf._
If. Nr..111.315TR0N(.3
to Walker & Armgtrone., Whole
'•.nl Retail Ttealent In Anthracite and RI-
Irunp, COlll4, Wood, Iron Ore, &e. Office S.
ocrocr 01 Twelfth and Myrtle streets. Post
I.Y. Lock Iloz:13, Erie, Pa.
E Y AftIINTIV , N , i. :(ICI9-1(.1 J. FOLLANSBEE.
PTO surgering. 0 91 i -be No. In Noble
uttlr•• open , law and night. -Dr. T'-arn - ttrq
N'o. 114 \l',•wt stl) 14t. myltnr -Iy.
BENNETT ifpr4}7
"':on Mlll4, 7-:rir Ca., Pa., Georg,. Tabor,
' Goon arrorunvulatiOlis and mode
_ myfitT7-tf.
and Surgeon. • ()Mee, Ea.t Park. St,
rot tole, flour ~ tore,-Ix)ardx at the res.
n , eut Kel,o, 2d door houttr' of the 31.
, rhurrh, on, sa , safrag street. f) , lftice hours
'1 I rn, unt d 2 p. In.
1 , -r to all knits of Family Droverle.% and
" , ' , 1 ,, 1rm,, , ,t0n., nnri Wholesale r) ral -
- al Win,,Liq ttorn. ("Iglu's, Tohnero,, No.
`..1 Fifth str,t, Erte, Pa.. le6'47-t f. •
FRASER, 31. v.,
ir ,"n"Pithi , l.lrsielan and Surgeon. Oine'
e , t2i Peaeh tit., opposite the Park
utn , ••• hotirs from 10 to 12 a. to 5 p.
:-.ari 7to 6. Igh
Ji)l6.: H, MILLAR,
En7, l nr•or and Surrevor.l Ite , htenee ear-
CA strt•et and F.act .Ivenne, East Frit,
fronenbergk at the new IMO: store,
%%nage, has on hand a large a.sortment
Provr,ions, Wood and.:_Willow
tine,, I.lquoN,, to which he
~"ay calla the attention of the public,
1 - ' s Virl that he can offer as good hargaln , as
in any part of Erie county.
The BrAdley Engine !
A New Compound or
Double Cylinder pigine,
7`ll F-iim t.3r
And 1.1 Warranted to give
Ulan 11 Single C. Under Engine
" 11 4; th e ~.tne. nu aunt of Bloom.
(fi , ALL STYLES. f
, )f all Dt,,;crlptions
ERIE- . 08 - 6ER-:.PAR :_•_ •
VOL. 38,
Ciroctrits, robuct, Srutt,
Successor to F. & M. Schlaudecker, Is now re
ceiving a splendid assortment of
Liquors Willow, Wooden and Stone .Ware
Fruits, Nuts, &c. A large stock of
Grocery Ileadquarters,
American Block, State St., Erie, Pa.
zny9'67-tt. F. SCHLAUDECKErt.
Wholesale and Retail Grocery Store.
North-East Corner Park ttna French St.,
Would respectfully call the attention of the com
munity to their large stock of -
Groceries and Prov-isions,
Which they are dem' trona to sell at
Their assortment of
Sugars, Coffees, Teas, Syrups,
Is not murpassed in the city, a-s they are prepared
to prove to all who give them a call.
. They also keep on hand a superior lot of
for the Wholesale trade, to which they direct
the attention of the public.
Their motto is, "Quick sales, small profits and
a full equivalent for the money." apirtß-ff.
31. P. WORDEN .Sr.,
Would respectfully announce that they have
opened a store at
No. 423 'French St., between 4th and Uth,
• For the purchase and hale of
nutter. Isolaltry..Mlikt.'k-0..
.Orders from abroad will receive prompt at
eritlon at the lowest market Prices.
1 The highest price In Cash paid for Pro
duce. au16:66-lf.
TjAVING sold our entire stock of Furniture
.1 to J. W. Ayres, we hereby thank the com
munity for.their liberal patronage to us,topina
they will extend the same to hint. We wilt de
vote our tune hereafter to the
With the consent of J. W. Ayres we still hold
our orrice 10. the same old place, 7I State street,
where will :be found, at all times ready to at tend
to the wants of the community in our line n.
Ready Made Coffins;
Trimmed to order. _Metallic and Iron Burial
ea ,, eg, of all styles and size~, On hand • also,
Shroud and Coffin Trimmings. Undertakers
will rind it to their advantage to bin• them of
us. as we cannot be undersold west dew York.
apr2. - A7-Iy. MOORE ez
White ,lieu Must Rule America.
The Best New York:Weekly Published:
.The New York Day-Book is a straightforward
Radical Denmeratle paper, with a darger circu
lation than any other Democratic Journal ever
published on this continent, and it enters on
the threshold of INN more prosperous and more
hopeful of the great cause It upholds than ever
before: Standing on the Declaration of Inde
pendence, that "all (white) men are equal," and
therefore entitled to equal rigid., it Is opposed
to all forms and degrees of special legislation
that conflict with this grand central truth of
Democracy, and over all and above all, does it
combat that monstrous treason to American
liberty, which, thrusting the negro element In
to our political system, must of necessity wreck
the whole mighty fabric left us by our fathers.
Gist has created white men superior and ne
groes inferior, and therefore all the efforts of
the past six years to abolish Ills work and
equalize with negroes—every law violated, eve
ry State :Constitution overthrown, every life
sacritleed, and every - dollar expended, are ne
cessarily Just so many steps towards national
suicide: and the simple and awful pro. tern now
upon us is Just this—shall we recover our rea
son and retrace our steps, or march on to Mon
grelism, social anarchy, and the total ruin of
our country.
The Day Rook, therefore, demands the resto
ration of the "Uhlon as it was'—a Union of co
equal States upon the white basis, as the only
hope, and the only means postble under heaven
for saving the grand Wens of 1776, and the fund
amental priciples of American liberty, and It
the real freemen, and the earnest believers in
that snored and glorious cause in which the
then of the Revolution offered up their lives,
wit I now labor to expose t he Ignorance,delusiOn
and treason of the Mongrel -party, it will mac
reed, and - the white Republic of Ww‘hington
be restored again In all its original Influence
and grandeur.
The Day Book wilt, howeVer, hereafter be
more than ever devoted to all the varied purpo
ses of a news paper. Conscious that it reach
es thousands of families who take no other
Journal, beyond perhaps their local paper, it
will continue and improve its "News of the
Week" Summary, so as to present a transcript
of the World's events in each issue. Its "Fam
ily' Department" will embrace the best original
and selected•storie&,. Its "Agricultural Depart
ment" will he fully sustained, and being the
only paper of its class made up expressly for
country clrculat ion, it is confident it is worth
double the price of a weekly hurriedly reprint
ed from a daily. It 'gives full and complete re
ports of the New York and Albany Cattle Mar
kets; Grain, Provisions and Cotton Markets ,
and a' Weekly review of Financial matters, to:
nether with the markets, by telegraph, from
New Orleans, Cairo, Charleston, Philadelphia,
&c., .Lc., up to time of going to press.
• Terine—Caah in Advance.
pne ropy one year 40 00
Three cap tea one year _. . 550
Five conic.; one year, and 01 le to the getter
op of the club 10 00
Ten eoples ona year, and one to the getter
np 01 the club . 17 50
Additional copies 1 75
Twenty copies one year, and one to the get
ter up of 11w club 80 00
Specimen copies sent free. Send for a
copy. Address, ing post office, county and
.State In full, VAN EVRIE, HORTON 1 CO.,
deel2. No 162 Nassau St., New York.
For the Holidays !
Silver & Plated Ware!
The largest assortment In town, at prlees.tbat
Do not fail to call on
.Ttro dOora East of main entrance
E. Cooper, In the Court of Commoi
Plena of Erie Co. N 0.172 Nor
fiant'l Malian. Jr. tern, 1567. Vendittont Ex.
roil non•, Lee., Br, on motion G. W. Gun
nlaon, Es q., appoinfed auditor.,
_ - -
Nonce is hereby given to all parties interest
ed that I will attend to the duties of my ap
pointment on Friday, January &I, at 2 p. m., at
my office In Erie No. ii r: street.
deel2-3w. GEO. W. GIINNISON, Auditor.
Assignee in Bankruptcy.
N THE DISTRICT COURT of the United States
L for the Western - District of Pennsylvania,
in the matter of Wm. M. Arbuckle, bankrupt.
The undersigned hereby gives notice of his ap
pointment as assignee of Wm. M Arbuckle, of
Erie city, Erie Co., and State of Pennsylvania,
within said district, who has been adjudged a
bankrupt upon his own petition : by the District
Court of said district, dated at Erie, Pa., Dec.l2,
A. D.. 18Ir. HENRY M. RIBLET, Assignee,
deciaslw. No. 1= Peach St., Erie, Pa.
TOR PRINTING of every kind, In large or
•) small quantities, plain or colored, done In
the best style, and at moderate parts, at the
Observer office.
BLANKS! , BLANKS ! A - complete abort
- meet of every kind of Blanks needed by
Attorneys. Justices, Constables and Business
Men. for sale at the Observer office.
Wholesale and Retail
Call and see us, at the
von 11365.
No. 2 'Reed Block
Auditoem Notice.
Dry► (Boobs
Diefend9rf, Gross & Foster,
Would respectfully call the attention of their
friend" , and the public generally ; to their large
and Well selected stock of goods
Three PIT, Hartford and Lowell Ingrain,
C 3E 3 .
All of the Latest and most fashionable styles Of
rish and Freneh•Poplins,
Merinos, Empress Cloths,
AI/paean, In Black and Colors,
The Finest Assortment in the city.
Granite Poplinetts.lange
A beautiful stock of
kap to 31 0.9 .1) :10k Kiii
In all widths and colors
The largest jot 'at the lowest prieelo be found
n the city. Cull and be convinced. Remember
No. 7 Reed Hone and 19 Fifth St.
Dlefendorf, Gross & Foster.
Southard & McCord;
Our stock is the largest ever brought to the city,
A complete assortment bf Dress Goods, every
kind of article in the Notion Line, and, in short,
a general assortment of everything needed by
Country deniers.. ~.
Conntry• Dealers aro Invited to glve ns a call.
We do a strictly wholesale trade, and propose
selling at such, prices as will maim It to the ad
vantage of merchants in this section to deal in
Erie, Instead of sending East for theltgoods.
Carpet & Dry Goods House
ci A ctl efo s m , Nl a e e t t f i tt gi cf , kgSbetin i st r e is , f i 'rint i tLitte n in
Poplins, Slohairs, Alpacas, belaines,&.c. Also.
WIIITE cOOiVE4, xl - 4014..rEzt.1. - ,
Callinnil get prices before purcinising.
apr3'67-Iy. No. SOS, Marble Front, State St.
Dry Goods !
The largest and best stock of
Cloths, Cloakimpi, DeLaines, Alpacas, Leone,
— Slohairs, Silks, Black and Colored, Thibit,
• Cashmere, Silk, Brocha and Paisley
Shawls, White Goods, Hosiery,
Notions, dlc., 41c. • -
Goods marked down to meet the market. No
trouble to show goods. Cali - and examine.
my '6:-Iy. ROSENZWEIG & BRO.
zilln CO-PARTNERSHIP heretofore existing
- between the undersigned In the Planing
Mill, Door, Sash and Blind business, under the
Arm name of Jacob Bootz. & Co., was dissolved
by mutual consent on the 21st day of June..M.
The business will be continued by Jacob Boots,
who is authorized to settle all the accounts of
.the late Arm. JACOB BOOT 7.
The undersigned, Intending to continue the
above business, at the old itzind, west side of
Peach, between 12th and 13th streets, desires to
call the attention of the public to his facilities
for supply ingthern with anything In his line.
Lumber planed to order, and scroll sawing at
all kinds done. Sash, Doors and Blinds furn
ished to order. All kinds of Lumber on hand,
together with Shingles and Lath. d on e ct rything that la usually dealt to or at first
class establishments of the kind. Thankful for
mg kind &Tara I respectfully solicit a eon
time/tee of the name.
Cloths, Cotolet Clothe,
Stripes, etc., etc
coneLsting of
Dry Goods !
s„r.pettal ,p,otitto.
Address to the ltervoss and Debilitated
whose suflbrings have been protracted from
hidden causes and whose cases require prompt
treatment to render existence desirable. If you
are suffering or have suffered from involuntary
discharges, what efrecrdoes it produce upon
YOUr general health? Do you feel weak, debili
tated, easily tired? Does a little exertion pro
duce palpitation of thebnirt Does your liver
or urinary organs, or your kidneys, frequently
get out of order! Is your urine sometimes thick,
milky, flocky, or is it ropy on settling? Or does
a thick SCUM rise to the top? Or is a sediment
at the bottom after it hoe stood awhile? Do you
have spells of short breathing or dyspepsia?
Are your bowels: constipated? Do you have
spells of fainting or rushes of blood to ttie head?
Is your memory impaired? Is your Mind con
stantly dwelling upon thti subject! Do you feel
dull, listless, moping, tired of company, of life?
Do you Wish to be left alone, to get away from
everybody! Does any little thing raako you
start or jump! Is your sleep broken or restless!
Is the lustre of your eye as brilliant? The bloom
on your cheek as bright? Do you enjoy yourself
In society as well? Do you pursue your business
with the same energy! Do you feel as much
confidence in yourself? Are your spirits dull
and flagging, given to fits of melancholy? If so,
do not fay it to your liver or dyspepsia. Have
you restless nights? Your back weak, your
knees weak, and have but little appetite, and
you attribute this to dyspepsia or liver com
plaints' -.
Now, reader,sell-abuse, venereal diseases bad
ly cured, and sexual excesses, are all capable Of
producing a 'less of the generative organs.
of generation, when in perfect health, make the
man. Ina you ever think that those bold, defi
ant, energetic, persevering, successful business
men are always those whose generative organs
are in perfect health? You never hear such
men complain of being melancholy, of nervous
ness, of palpitation Of the heart. They are nev
er afraid they cannot succeed In business.; they
don't become sad and discouraged; they are al
ways polite nrld pleasant in the company of la
dies, and look you and them right In the face—
none of your downcast looks orally other mean
ness about them. I do not mean those who keep
the organs inflamed by running to excess. These
will not only ruin their constitutions, but also
those they do buslnes with or for.
How many men from badly cured' diseases,
from the effects of self-abuse and, have
brought about that state of weakness in those
organs that has reduced the general system so
much as to induce almost every other disease--
idiocy, tummy: paralysis. spinal affections, aul
cid°, and almost , every other form of disease
which humanity is heir to, and the real cause of
the trouble scarcely ever suspected, and have
doctored for all bdrthe right one.
Diseases of these organs require the use of a
BIICITII Is the great Diuretic, and is a certain
cure fordlseases of the Blitpler, Kidneys, Grav
el, Dropsy, Organic Weakness, Female Com
plaints, General Debility and all diseases of the
Urinary Organs, whether existing in male or,
female, from whatever cause originating, and
no matter of how long standing.
If no treatment is submitted to Consump
tion or Insanity may ensue: Our Flesh and
Blood are supported front these sources, and
the health and happineas, and that of posterity,
depends upon prompt use of a reliable remedy.
llelmbold'is Extract Buchu, established up
wards 0718 years, prepared by
H. T. RELMBOLD, Druggist,
' 504 Broadway, New York, and 101 South 10th
Street, Philadelphia.
Prima-41.25 per bottle, or 0 bottles for EO.lO,
delivered to any address. Sold by all Druggists
everywhere. noTrOL
A Card to the Ladles.— •
In Correcting irregularities, Removing Ob
structions of the Monthly Turns, front whatev
er cause, and always successful as a preventa
In removing obstruction and restoring nature
to its proper channel, quieting the nerves and
bringing back-the " rosy color of health " to the
cheek of the mosi.delicate. •
Pull and explicit directions accompany each
Price SI per box, six boxes Ste. Sold by one
druggist In every town, village, city and hamlet
throughout the world, Redd In Erte by .1. B.
CARVER CO., druggists, solo agents for the
Ladies by sending theta Sl through the Post
Office, can have the pills sent (confldentially)by
mail to any part of the country, free oSpostage
FL D. HOWE, Sole Proprietor,
myo'o7-Iy. New York.
Phalan's "Night gloaming Cereal:JO,
Phnlon , s •• Night! Blooming Berms:"
Phaton's "Night Blooming Ccrens.”
- -
Photon's - •
i -
Bloomisig Coreus.”
Phuton% . Sight Blooming Cireno.”
A mend eignidse, delicate, and Fragrant Perfume,
dhak led Irma the r.ue and beautiful flower (run
winch It take. its name.
111nunlitturni only by
PLIALOTI ea SON, New Y.rk .
E of If outh.--A gentleman who suffer
for years from Nervous Debility, Premature
Decay and ail the effects, of youthful indiscre
tion, will, for the sake of buffering humanity,-
send free to all who need it, the recipe and di
rections fbr making the simple remedy by which
he was cured. Sufferers Wishing to profit by the
advertiser's experience,can do so by addressing,
in perfect confidence, fJOHN B. OGDF.,,,N,
myl6'B7-13-. 42 Cedar St., New York.
To . Consamptlves.—The Rev.. Edward A.
Wilson will send (free of 'charge) to all who de
sire it, the prescription With the directions for
making and rising the simple remedy by which
he was cured of aiung affection and that dread
disease Consumption. Ills only object is to ben
cat the afflicted, and he hapes every sufferer
will try this prescriptiozi, :Is it will cost them
bathing, and may prove a blessing. ' Please ad
No. it Z South &vend Street,
mylB'67-Iy. Willianasburgh, N. Y.
Informattoa----Inforinatidu guaranteed to
produce a luxuriant growth of hair upon a bald
bead or beardless face, also a recipe for the re
moi`al of Pimples, Blotches, Eruptions, ete., on
the skin, leaving the same soft, clear and beau
tiful, can be obtained without charge by address
ing THOS. F. CHAPMAN, Chemist,
.my16117-IY. MI Broadway, New York.
C.. 0 Z. El
Is still making those elastic Hair Chains, Hair
Jewelry, filling Lakles' Pins and Lockets to or
der only, and guarantees them to be made of the
hair you nenln. -
. Our Watch Chains, made five years ago,are as
good as ever.
Cnils, Bands, Switches (some one yard
king hair) made and on hand. Old Switches
made over and hair added to it if wanted. Cash
paid for raw hair at my Hair Dressing Saloon,
under Brown's Hotel. nol4-6w.
It Is a perfect and wonderful *article. Cures,
baldness. Makes hair grow. A better dressing
than any "oil" or "pomatum." Softens brash,
dry and why hair into Beautiful Silken Tress
es. But, above all, the great wonder is the as-
Wits with which it restores GRAY lIAIR TO
The whitest and worst looking hair resumes
Its youthful beauty by its use. It does not dye
the hair, but strikes at the root and tills it with
new life and coloring matter.
The first application will do good; you will
see the NAMIIAL COLOR ret tirning everyday ,
and before you know it the old, gray ,discolored
appearance of the hair will be gone, giving
place to lustrous. shining and beautiful locks.
Ask for Hall's Sicilian 'Hair llenewer; sooth
er article is at all like it in effect. See that each
boll ie ass our private Government Stamp over
the'Un top. All others are imitations. Forests by
all made.
P.l & CO„ Nashua, N. IL,Prapilatani.
Written for the observer:l
A. is A. Johnson, to Congresi &thorn,
B. Is Ben Butler, a spoon stealer born,
C. is a Congress, a rascally set,
D. is the Devil, the whofe.lot will get,
E. is Ed Stanton, that lost a fat place, -
F. is John Forney, another scape grace.
G. is a general and Grant is his name,
That will not to the Rads his intentions pro,
11. is for Floffinan, an excellent mayor,
I. are inquiries, now made everywhere, "
J. is John Covode, at "smelling' so great,
K. is for Kansas, that poor, bleeding State,
L. Is Tor Liberty, now on the gain, •
Id. Is'Morrissy, , a bruiser of fame,
N. is N. P. Banks, very good on the' run,
0. stands for Ord, whose career is now done,
P. is a Pope that, said, never retreat,
But at one Manassas was dreadfully beat,
Q. is a Quandary, about the bond and green
back, •
R. Reconstruction, a broken down hack,
S. is Phil. Sheridan, whom the Rath much
T. are big taxes, a burden to all,
U. ts'our Uncle Sam,
a poor robbad 'old man,
V. are the votes that right hint again,
W. is Wendell Phillips—to the Rads a great
Because the mum general he does not
X. has no champion toland down to fame,
Y. is a Yates, whci drinks still the same,
Z. is Zach• Chandler, that would some blood
But never a foeman In war has he met:
If . there ever was a fore-ordained bachelor,
that man was Major Teller. Some men are
born to old bachelorhood—others' have old
bachelorhood thrust upon them ; and to the
former class belonged the Major... You could
have picked him out in a multitude ; if be
had been labelled, like an antedeltivian fossil
or a dried specimen of entomology, there
could not have been more certainty in the
He was a dapper, thin-little man,.something
under five feet high, with a glossy black
closely trimmed side whiskers.and costume so
daintily neat that he reminded you of a shin
ing black cat! Ile took a Turkish bath in the
morning, and a Russian bath in•the evening;
he came home to dinner at twelve precisely,
and went to bed at eleven at night, his hoots
standing at the foot of his bed, and his stock
ings at the head, and his wig elevated on the
gas fixture, and every chair in the room stand
ing at right angles with the wall !
. It was high noon on a sparkling, windy,
March day when Major Teller came home to
the antique, down town boarding house,
where he had vegetated for the last twenty
years, and -went - to his own room to brush
his wig for the mid-day meal. Opening the
door he stumbled 'over' an obAacle that was
in the way.
"Oh, I beg_ your pardon, I'm sure," said
the Major, turning very Ved, recovering his
footing with difficulty.
It .was Miss Patience Pettigrew, on her
hands and knees, cleaning off the oil cloth at
the door.
Now the Major was afraid of Miss Patience
—afraid of her as the plump lamb fears the
gaunt wolf, or the unoffendmg robin the dire
serpent. Miss Patience was tall; lean and
sallow, but she curled her hair, and wore an
artificial rose over her left ear, and sang with
whistling tones to a little spindle-legged pi
ano, and firmly believed that if she only
waited a little while longer she , should get
married to somebody! And because the
Major sat opposite her at the table—Miss
Patience helped her widowed sister ''keep
house," and served out the gravy and sauces
—and regarded her artificial rose and bear's
grease curl With a sort of 'fearful fascination,
Miss Patience somehow opined that she
should one day, Cupid willing, becomh Mrs.
Major Teller.
"It's of no consequence, Major," said Miss
Patience, recovering her piece of soap which
had skirMished out to the middle of the car
pet. "I hope your fire isn't out."
"Thank von, ma'am it is very good."
"I do wonder, Major," said Miss Patience,
with a premonitory giggle, "why you never
got married ?"
The Major retired precipitately behind the
coal scuttle, and made no reply.
"You'd be so-much more comfortable, you
know," added Miss Patience, wringing out
her woolen cloth and looking so lovingly oh
the Major that he retreated still further into
his wardrobe, where among the swinging ef
figies of coats and trowsers he felt compara
tively safe. • ,
'Miss Patience hesitated a- moment, and in
that moment the Major felt all the anticipa
tory agonies of being pursued, captured,
brought forth, and possibly married before he
could get breath to 'remonstrate! But she
finally took up her pail and vanished.
"Dear me, , that was a narrow escape,"
thought our hero,emergin'g from his sanctua
ry. ..Boine day she'll be too much for me.
Perhaps I'd better change my boarding place.
Yes—that will be the only safety. I suppose
I couldn't very well have her sworn over to,
keep_ the peace, and, really, there's no say
ing what a determined woman of fifty may
not do. I'll look out for a new place tci-mor
"Dear me, Major, you have no appotite,r
said Miss Patience sweetly, at the dinner ta•
"No, ma'am," said the Major.
"Try to vat a little—just to please me, Ma•
- NO, I thank you, mapm."
"Don't you know, Major, that people will
say. that you are in love, it' you don't eat
more ?" smiled the antiquated spinster.
This was .more than our hero could en
dure ; he rose up and left Miss Pettigrew vic
tor of the wordy field.
"I won't go back to that house if I can help
it," thought the Major, brushing the cold dew
&tire his forehead with a crimson silk pocket
handkerchief. "Her intentions are serious, I
know they are."
And the Major, in his innermost soul re
viewed the catechism and hymns he had
learned as a child ; trying to think it' there
were not some invocations particularly suit
ed to ari elderly gentleman in great peril and
perplexity. But he could not remember any
thing appropriate to his particulat case:
"It's twenty, wears since I have been in
side of' a church," thought the penitent old
sinner. "I wish I had gone a little more
regularly, I Wonder if it is too late in life to
reform !"
For the 'Major, poor, old gentleman; had a
vague idea that "religion" would be a sort of
safeguard against the' wiles of -his fair enemy.
Deliverance from. Miss Pettigrew must be ob
tained onome terms or other. -
As Major Teller was frantically revolving
these things in his mind, he came to n slid
' den and involuntary stand-still. There was
a crowd gathered in the street—a fallen om
nibus horse, or an arrested pickpocket, or
some other nucleus, round Which gathers the
rapidly. increasing swarm of metropolitan
loafers. Now, of all things Major Teller
most dreaded was a • crowd, and he,looked
round nervously for some means of escape.
An' old-fashioned church, with opened
doors and some sort of service going on in
side; caught the Major's eye? He made an
instantaneous dart for its huge, gothic por
tals, shielded .by the inner doors of green
"It's a good - chance to think up something
solemn and appropriate, and that sort of
thing, until' the crowd gets by," he thought,•
settling himself in the corner of one of the
softly cushioned pews to listen to the mild,
droning voice of the old clergyman. .
The church was very warm, and the light
softened by purple and golden crimson glass,
was dim, and the clergyman's voice rather
monotonous, and Major. Teller was uncon
sciously becoming rather drowsy, when a
plump old lady came in, and the sexton
beckoned him from his seat.
But the sermon was over, and the people
streaming down the aisle, and the Major, felt
that he didn't care to pmlong the. thing and '
that he had done a very laudable act in corn
big to church, and—
Even while these ideas were passing hi- i
distinctly through his brain, he was .borne
towards the altar in an upward eddy of the
crowd, and felt a gaunt arm thrust through
"Protect me, Major! oh; save me !" whis
pered Miss Patience Pettigrew. "I'm so
. 'feared in a crowd; always r'
The Major strove to withdraw his arm, but
Miss Pettigrew would not let him. They
were standing directly in front of the altar
arm-in-arm. The minister, old and near
sighted, and a little deaf, advanced-prob
ably concluding that his services were re
Major Teller's blOod ran cold; lie tried to
protest, but his tongue seemed paralyzed.
Miss Pettigrew. had captured him as a lamb
for the slaughter, and where was the bse-of.
further struggle ! A. few words—and appal
ling brief ceremony—and Major Teller was
married to 3liss Patience Pettigrew. 1r
"Take the market basket, my dear," said
the gaunt bride, "mid stay, you bad better
carry the umbrella, tool We'll go right home.
Old folks like•you and me don't care for wed
ding tours, do we?"
The Major looked piteously at his better
half And made no answer. She, however,
waited for none, but drew him along with a
quiet detenninadon that argued ill for the
"Give the the key to the room; my dear,"
said Mrs. Patience Teller, "rd better keep it
in the future."
"We" 11 slick up things a little," said Mrs.
Teller, bundling the Major's beloved papers
together, and pitching his box of cigars out.
of the window.
But, 3fiss Patience—"
:31y dear wife, I mean."
, A) yes. What were you about to re
"Oh, well, I don't like smoke—and never
"But what are you doing with my slip
pers ?"
"Trying 'em on—they fit me AM nicely.
Guess Fit keep 'em, Bemprimius I I wish you
would take all these coats and things out of
the wardrobe--I want it for my dresses."
"But where shall I keep them,- Miss
Pa—?" •
"What did yOu any
11rs. Teller, I would remark." "
"Oh, under the bed or somewhere! Pink
soap,' eh ?—I prefer Castile, Cologne, &nide
Florida; Cold Cream! Who'd have , supposed
you were such a dandy, Sempronius? -
must have plenty of money. By the way,
suppose you give me the money to keep now,
dear! I'll manage it a er s sat deal more eco
nomically than you'll be lir to."
"Give the the money, I say I"
Major• Teller meekly put his hand into
his pocket, and submissively handed over the.
purse. • .
"Well, now you had betttr go about your
business," said the gentle bride, "and not
come home•till tea time—l do so dislike men
lounging around in the way forever, and don't
come back smelling of tobacco if you know
what is good for yourself, Semprouius
Tlie Major crept silently away, , thinking
how the last time he crossed the threshhold
he was a free man, and now—
"l'm married!" mused Major Teller,
"I couldn't help it ; it wasn't my fault ;
but here I am, no money, no cigam no free
dom—wOrse than a galley slave—dirty years
old next month, and—married to Patience
Pettigrew !"
He walked disconsolately down the street
both hands in his empty pockets, and his hat
tipped restlessly clown over his eves. A
greater contrast could hardly have been im
agined than existed between this slovenly,
seedy, wretched looking man, and the trim,
tidy, cheerful little Major Teller of six hours
ago ! He caught a fleeting glance of himself
in a mirror belonging - to snow piettire flume
store, as he sauntered by—it even startled
"I'wouldn't have known myself," he mut
teredglOomily. "Well, I'm married now—
married to Patience Pettigrew!"
He stopped at the, street corner, uncertain
which way to go; but as he gazed, the
bright, steely glimpses of the river caught his
"All right". muttered Sempronius, moodi
ly; "I'll go and drown myself; it's a short
way out of a lbng line of difficulties. Any
thing but going back to—Patience Petti
grew !"
He' went down with long; determined
strides toward the shining, broad stream,
where the ships lay peacefully,at anchor and
the little boats shot hither' and thither, and
the waves sparkled lie like sheets df diamonds.
All these things Major, Teller" saw, without
marking them, as he made resolutely for the
pier. ' -
"Want a boat, sir'" demanded a sturdy
"Yes," said the Major, "I want Charon's
boat to row me over Styx I"
"Don't know him, sir,' said the puzzled
boatman, "but mine is sound and light."
The Major waited to hear no more, but
gave a -blind, downward jump.
Down, down with that peculiar sensation
of fulling so familiar to us all—down—down
"Beg pardon, sir, but the church isgoing
to be shut up, and every ore ' s gone. Hope
yon had a good nap, sir?'
The sexton spoke sarcastically, but in his
tones Major Tell& recognized hope and free
dom. He st/irted wildly to his feet, exclaim
"Then I'm not married, after all, sexton?'
"3larned, sir! Not unless you've been mar
ried in your dream." . •
"That's it, exactly !" ejaculated the Ma
jor, jumping up, "I've been asleep and dream
Major Teller satisfied the sexton with a
donation whose liherahty astonished even
that personage, and went at once to the
Hotel to engage rooms.
"I'll send for my things," he thought • "I
won't go back to that house lest Miss Pa,
deuce Pettigrew should do something despe-
rate. I'm not married, and I don't mean to
The Major was right. Discretion is the
better part valor—and Miss Patience Pet.
tigrew remains Miss Patience Pettigrew btill I
But Major Teller - goes to church very rpgu
lady now !
Progress of the Union Pa c ific RnilwrlTl
Eastern Division.
This great national thoroughfare, which
begins at Kansas City, at the month of the
Kansas river, on the west bank of the 3lis
souri, is progressing with a rapidity only
equalled by its great rival of-the Platte. One
yearagt it had reached Fort Riley,l4o miles
west of the Missouri now 625 miles are com
pleted, accepted, and in operation. It is, as
the. law requires, a. well made, substantial'
and good road, has easy gradings, and is free
from short -curves. The topography and
•soil of the splendid country through which it
runs, (the State of Kansas,) are both highly
favorable to the construction of a railroad ;
and, when constructed, the road will require
less than ordinary amount of subsequent re
The work, as u financial success, far trans
cends the calculations of the managers and
of the most sanguine of its friends. - Its reve
nues increase steadily and rapidly from month
to month. For May, 1867,.the gross earn
ings were $171,106.28 ;-for July, $189,570.59;
for October, $267,171.26. The statement for
the last named month we give in detail as
officially published:
The following is 'an exhibit of the earn
ings and expenses of the Union Pacific Rail
way,Eastern Division, for. the month of Octo
-ber, 1867:
Total Government b nines; .[ *81,M7.59
Merchandise and passenger tnic- '
lie - - f 18.5,653.51
Total • - V. 117,171.20
Working expenses - • ' $120,136.06
Net proceeds to balance - 147,025.14
Total - - - 15267,171.20
October I—road open to Ells-!
worth - - .224 miles.
October 14—road .open to .
Hays - - 290 miles.
Average length of main Line
operated during October 290 miles.
Total 'Government business as
above - $81,517.59
Fifty per cent. retained by law
by U. S. Treasurer 40,758.70
Total t. S. bonds received, ,
160 miles - $4,160,000
Interest on same for one month,
at 6 per -cent. - - - $20,800.00
Excess for month of October,
retained by U. S. Treasurer to
meet bonds mutually $19,958.10
Which contributes at a rate sufficient to I
meet the principal of these bonds in about
nineteen years or eleven years before matur
- This is at the rate of $3,206,052.22 in gm
earnings, and of 41,764,300 of net revenue
per annum. The transportation done for
the government, at rates greatly below what
have heretofore been paid to wagons, almost
quadrupled the amount of interest on all the
government bonds yet issued to the com
pany, one half of whieh amount is at once
carried to the credit of the company on ac
count of that interest. But, as will be seen
above, the amount of this credit exceeded
the amount of the interests on - the bonds
by $19,958.70. This excess will accumulate
from month to month as a sinking fund, to
pay off the principal of the bonds when they
come to maturity—thirty years. The inter
est on doe bonds is payable in lawful mon
ey, not*ecesiavily in gold.
• Of the'grOsa'tartainga for the month, $267-,
tho6o fay Government., usits,—troops,
ammunition, supplies, mails, ar.. - ,—amounted
leaving $185,1153.51 as the
amount arising from ordinary -freight an'
passengers.- This is indeed a ,ainprlsing
NO. 34.
bibit for a ma, ,
and which rut:m . "l*h Is onty in rogren
it was , made, was' -f.PuntrY
uninhabited. l
There are two ways to .
is the immense immigration ir O n e
people who follow that road up the ri..
beautiful valley of the Kansas; the other 1.?"4.!.!
large trade to Colorado and New Mexico,
which follows and uses this road as far as it
can. The trade to New Mexico, commonly
called the "Santa Fe trade," has been large.
for many years, and thousands of wagons
drawn by ox teams, have long found employ
ment in it= The trade to Colorado, and to
the numerous mining districts in the moon of more recent origin, but is already
large add rapidly increasing.
It will be observed that, altogether the
government is loaning to this company bonds
to the amount of sixteen thousand dollars
per mile, the road is really not costing it any aIL It is merely a loan of its credit.
On the other hand, the road is saving mon
ey Co the national treasury -by cheapening
its transportation; and what is better still,
by drawing out a civilized population hun
dreds of miles beyond where the border_was
before it was made, and where itxould be
but for it, who keep the savages lyder tar
better than . armies can do it. Some of our
most eminent military officers have estimat
ed that each fifty miles of the Pacific rail
road enables the government to dis
pense with the services of a regiment' of
soldiers, at a saving of more than a million of
dollars a year.
This work is rapidly approaching Fort
Wallace, near what is called Pond Creek,
where the subsidy voted by Congress to this
company terminates. This is 412 miles from
the Missouri river, at Kansas City. At this
point it Is the intention of the company to
deflect the main line south-west to the Ar
kansas river, and thence in the same direc
tion through New Mexico, Arizona, and
Southern California to •San Francisco. A
branch will continue on to Denver. From
a preliminary report made by General W.
W. Wright, Chief Engineer of the company,
who has just completed a_ surrey of the
route from Fort Wallace to and beyond the
Rio Grande, south-west of Santa Fe, we learn
the following facts, which we condense into
the smallest possiblespaee :
Distance from Fort -Wallace, on the
Smoky Hill„ to the Arkansas river,
over an easy prairie divide, destitute
of timber,- - 72
Along the Arkansas to Fort Lyon,
through a rich valley from 3 to 8
miles wide, - - - - 42
From Fort Lyon, up the rich valley of _
the Purgntaire—not so wide—to Ra•
ton mountain, - - 00
From Raton mountain to Los Vegos,
through a fine country, abounding in
coal, iron, copper and other miner
als and part well timbered, • 140
From Los Vegos to the Rio Grande,
not far from Albuquerque, - 118
That done, one of the very finest and most
productive regions on the continent , will be
reached and penetrated at least two hundred
miles. For not less than 150 miles of these
460 the road will run through a coal 'region.
where the veins from eight to fourteen
feet in thickness, an ' quility'a which is
excellent, whether for maimfactnring, rail
road or doniestic,•purposes, besides iron and
coppei mines probably unsurpassed on the
globe. .Gold and silver mines abound, and
are now profitably operated amid all the dis
advantages of transportation. It now costs
from I'2 to 16 cents to move n pound of freight
of any kind from St. Louis to that country.
Ought there to be any hesitation on the part
of Congress to authorfr.e this work to be
pushed on with all poa-rible speed ? We think
not. The tax payers nevi not object, for it
is costing them nothing, \liut, on the other
hand, saving money to ,rthi, treasury of the
nation. 'And when the kart of New Mexi
co shall be reached, tharwhOe country will
feel the invigorating effect,of the opening of
that hitherto sealed tie surv!
be Fallen Snow..iA Sad Story.
The beautiful poem entitled the "Fallen
Snow," a production of extraordinary merit,
has been copied far and wide by the press of
this country. The author's name does not
appear, no doubt to the disappointment of
many readers who admire the true and beau
tiful in sentiment and composition. Know
ing her history, a correspondent of the Ma
con (Ga) Sentinel, gives a brief biography.
The maiden name of the authoress was
Dora Shaw. She was boin and grew into
womanhood in the Wabash Valley, Indiana.
Her parents' were plain, honorable people,
though not rich, as the world goes, They
loved their beautiful Dora, and bestowed on
her an- education which very few females
ever - receive. That accomplished, to wed
her to'adfne wealthy and distinguished gen
tleman, as is too often the case, they had the
fatal delusion that the daughter's will should
- be sacrificed upon the altar of Mammon—
that wealth and ambition should be preferred
to love.
In 18.50, F. S. Leßaum and Dora Shaw
were - married. Leßaum was a citizen and
the possessor of an immense property in St.
Louis. ", Being in the Wabash Valley upon
business of his house. •he saw, loved and
wooed this voung,beantiful and accomplished
woman. He then obtained her parents con
sent, and marriage, which followed, was hal
lowed by no love,. save upon the side of the
husband. Taking his bride home to his
palace in the city, she was there given every
thing that wealth could bestow. Still she was
not happy. Did you ever' see a contented
.eagle in a gilded - cage? •
The wife was at once introduced. to and
became the admiration of the best people of
the city. To the outward-world she appeared
the happiest of - mortals, illustrating how few
there are who really know the secret sorrows
of tlie human heart Shermssed her hours in
spidndid misery.
At the time, the famous theatrical mans
ger; Ben. Deßar, had a fine company at the
St. Louis Theatre. His leading star was Miss
Annette Ince—no less renowned for her act
ing mimic life than her beauty and many
womanly virtues. To this theatre Mr. and
Mrs. Letaum went one night and witnessed
a play. - Dora had never been inside a thea
tre before, and' before the curtain fell upon
the second act, she had made a resolution
which would change the whole course of her
life—she had determined to be an actress like
Misi Ince.
An interview with the Manager was easily
obtained, who saw in the aspirations of the
lads' a chance to make a splendid flit and put
gold in his purse. He gave her encourage
ment, dismissed the idea of her first assuming
a second part, but assured her she should
make her debut in the leading character of
the play she had witnessed—" Julia," in the
'Hunchback." More than encouraged, in
deed completely resolved, Dora at oncecom
-menced the study of. tote play, and, possess
ing a quick intelligenet, was at least master
of the language in a few days. Private re
hearsals appeared to give perfect satisfaction
to the manager as well as to the company
trained for that particular purpose and for
that occasion. All, this was kept front the
One morning the city was thrown into. a
fever by the announcement in all the join
! nals and upon the bulletin ,boards that "Miss
Dora Shaw would appear that night as Julia
in Sheridan Knowles great play • entitled
'The litinelmack.'" Leßatim and his friends
were struck as if by a thunderbolt from
Heaven.. He first entreated, appealed and
threatened his wife, and next the manager,
and finally declared his intention to murder
her upon the moment she made her appear
ance. The manager duly hatfall this passe&
into the streets, which, of course, increased
the sensation anti strengthened the desire to
Every ticket was sold by nine o'clock, arid
it were needless to say that when night came
that place of amusement occupied the
thoughts of the city. ti
The curtain rose—Dora appeared—walked,
stammered, blushed and repeated her part
mechanically,—like any girl reading her com
position at an examination. Still the audi
ence was pleased—not by the acting, but by
the novelty of the occasion. The next, the
third, the 'fourth and fifth nights were like
the-first. The morbid appetite of the nubile,
satiated with novelty, demanded good acting.
This Dora could not supply. The audience
fell off, the manager became -restless and re
fiised to offer a re-engagement, but intimated
that she had best go to another city.
In the meantime Leßanm sued for a di
vorce, which was readily granted by the
Court. The next appearance of Dora was in
New Orleans, where her. former social posi
tion was unknown, anti where she was
thrown upon her merits as an actress for suc
cess. It were needless to say that she failed
to elicit one Tingle plaudit.
- The rest of the story is soon told. Aban
doned by friends, home, husband and penal
she fell—to use her own words :
Fell, like the snowflakes, from heaven to hell,
Tell, to boirampled as filth in the street,
Fell, to,be stotred, to be splint,.
Cursing, •
Dreading to die,
Beling her soul to whoever would buy,
Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread,
Elating the living and fearing the dead.
A kitten once to, Its mother said,
"I'll never more be good ;
But I'll go and be a robber tierce,
And a dreary wood,
Wood, wood, wood,
And live in a dreary wcod."
It climbed a tree to rob a nest
Of. young-and tender owls :
But the branch broke off and the kitten fell,
With six tremendous bowls,
Wti., • "
tremendous bowls. howls,
Then up it rose, r»d scratched its nose,
And went home very ga d ;
"Oh mother dear behold me here. ,
I'll never more be bad,
Bad, bad, bad,
I'll never more be bad."
llontcf; GREELEY has a salary of $8,500
on the Tribune, and Tilton #.5,000 on the
Independent. •
Way should 31N. Weston be jealous of her
husband! Because he 'was after a certain big
Bet. - - _
A MAN named Tease married a.Miss Cross
in St. Louis. lie Teased her till she agreed
she wouldn't be Cross any more.
A Sus boasting in the' company of young
ladies that ho had a luxuriant head of hair, a
lady present observed that it was owing to
the mellowness of the soil.
How an artful wife manages It—Whenev
er-I want - a nice, snug day, all to Myself,
tell George my mother Ls coining, and then
I see nothing of him till one o'clock in the
A M%X Up town says he has a machine in
his house which has acquired perpetual mo
tion. It is it very simple contrivance, re
quires no weights, lines or springs to_make it
go, but go it does, and not only does not stop,
but to save his life. be cannot stop it. It is
his wife's tongue!
di.v Irishman, a short time in this country, -
was eating boiled green corn, After eating
off all the corn, he _passed the cob back to.
the lady who sat at the head of the table, say
ing : "W.ould you please to be so kind as to
put some more beans on the shtick ?"
A GENTLEIWZ promenading Washington
street, chanced to step on the trailing robes.
of a lady in full dress. "Excuse me, madam,
but I believe the accident would not have
occurred had it not been fur the length of
your attire," apologised the masculine °Oen
der. "Excuse me, sir," replied the feminine,
"but I think the accident is owing to the un
usual length of your feet." The gentleman
turned suddenly up School street.
A mitirsvEn, in a highly elaborafed sermon
which he preached, said several times, "the
commentators do not agree with Inc here."
Next morning a poor woman came to Bee
him with something in her apron. She said
"that bier husband heard the sermon, and That
it was a very fine one, and, as• ho said the
'common tatoradid not agree with him,' be
had sent sonic of the.bestitidneys."
EVERT poet that ever had an existence has
written of love, every minstrel has sung of it
—and every maid has dreamed of it ; but we
much doubt whether all that hai been
ten, sung and dreamed, comprises more than
is compressed in the following stkn7no
0, love! love! love!
Love's like a dizziness ;
It wunna let a puif bodie
• Gang about his bizziness.
A Yopm lady, who proposes to assist in
editing our fashion column, sends us the fol
lowing: "Xs for lo !lees, the loer it is the
more foshunabil yu air drest. Mis Goolta
gir me a blew cilk of here, and I cut its nec
oil, and Suzan Simmons cut orf kern, an' we
auras a grate deel ur attenshun to our;,necs,
prommonadin in the streets like uther ladys,
and holden up our cloz. Nobody isn't noth
in' now which doezn't hole up her cloz, and
the bier yu holes 'eel the more 3.out air no
I UAW. observed one ingredient somewhat
necessary in a man's composition towards
happiness, which pi.•ople of feeling would do
well to acquire—a certain respect for the fol
lies of mankind ;• for there are so many fools
whom the world entitles to regard, whew ac
cident has placed in heights of which they
are unworthy, that he who cannot restrain
his contempt or indignation at the sight, will
be too often quarrelling with the disposal of
things to relish that share which is allotted
to himself.—ffackinzie.
The following little geni, from the pen of
Alice Carey, can be read with profit by •
every one, saint as well•as sinner :
"Do not long for wrong or evil,
You will find them if you do ;
As you measure to your neighbor,
He will measure back to you. -
Look for goodness, look for gladness, - '
You will meet them all the while ;
If you bring a smiling visage
To the glass, you meet a smile.",
A RAILROAD engineer, at ,Harrisburg, hay:
ing been discharged, applied to be reinstated.
"You were dismissed," said the superinten
dent, austerely, for letting your train come
twice into collision." "The very reason,"
said the.other parfv, interrupting him, "why
I ask to be restorel.", "How so ?" "Why,
sir, if I had any doubt before as to whether
two trains can' each other on' the same
track, I am. now entirely satisfied ; I have
tried it twice, sir, and it can't be done, and
am not likely to try it again." He regained
the situation. •
Is the course of a trial at Westminster,
England, the other, day, a witness was asked
whether he had not asAsted at a funeral
where there was no body to bury. On crass
examination he admitted that he had helped
a friend in. the funeral trade, who being anx
ious to impress his neighborhood—a subur
ban one—with the ability with which lie
could conduct funerals, and also to' convey
the idea that he had received a good order,
had a hearse and mourning coaches, with
twenty men, leave his shop, and after an ab
sence of some hours return as if from the
AN exchange says: "We were considera
bly amused the other evening at three little
girls playing among the sage brush in the
back yard. Two of them were 'making be
lieve' keep house, a few yards distant from
each other—neighbors as it were. One of
them said to the third little girl : -'There, now,
'Nelly, you go to Sarah's house, and - stop; a
little while and talk, and then you come and
tell me ivhat she says about me ;'and then
I'll talk about her, and then you so and tell
her all I say, and then we'll get mad and
won't speak to each other, just like our
mother's do, you know. 0 ',that'll be such
Some. philosopher has remarked that every
animal, when dressed in human apparel, re
sethbles mankind very strikingly in features.
Put a frock, bonnet and spettaeles on a pig,
and it looks like an old lady of eighty. .A.
bull dressed in an overcoat resembles a law
yen- Tie a few ribbons round a cat, put a
fan in its paw, and a boarding seitool miss is
represented. A cockerel in a uniform is h
general to the life. A hedgehog looks' like
a miser. Dress a ,monkey in a frock coat,
cut oil' his tail, trim his whiskers, and you
have a city dandy. Donkeys resemble a
good many persons.. -
AFFEcnoxarr.—A • touching instance of
connubial felicit and devotion occurred not
long since in New Hampshire. An aged
couple, who during half a century of mar
ried life had wrangled and quarrelled with
each other, were in-all probability soon to be
separated. The old husband was taken sick,
_believed to be near his end. The old
spouse came to hig bedside, and after care
fully examining and taking stock of his -
dition, exclaimed : Wy, daddy, your feet are
cold, and your hands are cold, and your nose
is cold." "Wa'al, let 'cut be 'coil." "Wy,
daddy, you're going to die." "Wa'al, I guess
I know wot I'm about." "Wy, daddy, vat's
to become of me .if you die ?" "I dun'no, •
and don't care ! Wat I want to know is, writ's
to become of me ?"
OLD MAN' G RANT SOUNDS nth nor Tr..vss.'
—The General's father went to 'Washington
the other day, and stopped with 'l.llyss: as
he calls his boy, whom he found seated at
his fireside, smoking, of course, and surround
ed by members of his private and military
family. Abouttie first thing the old gentle-
Ilion did, after shedding his overcoat, was to
come to his unpumpable offspring with
"Clyss, are you in favor of nigger garage ?"
(No response only vigorous puffs.) " I say.
I.:lyss, are you in favor of nigger suffrage?"
"What do you think 'of it f" Inquired the
General, with Yankee shrewdness. The old
one states his opinion—he's for an intelli
gence qualification, and so on. -Well, now,
Llyss, I've answered your question, I want
"You to answer mine. Are you in favor of
nigger suffrage? If you are, you'll get beat
all hollow, with all your popularity, for Ohio
went fifty thousand against it, and if she was
to vote again on it 'to-morrow. she'd go a
hundred thousand the same way." "I hayn't
talked politics much for the past five - or' six
years,' , was the reply of tlysses,nthe Silent."
At last accounts the old gentleman, was in
doubt as to the position of "lilyss" on negro