VOLUME 3.
A General Balanco uti
Seriously strange as the-phenomenon
may appear to the practical minds of men
fn this Country, tho happy family of
European States begins to le deeply con
cerned at the growing and apparently re
sistless power of the American Uuion.
particularly since our Government has
IJleu to embracing and caressing the lui
Serial system of the Russian Czar, receiv
ing in return much more than a compound
interest of flatteries and promises. Our
fate imposing display of naval and mili
far; ePeiency ; our possession of ci
hirustlcss material; our ev : di-ut superior
jty of Construction and invention in wea
pons and armaments; the warlike aud
patriotic ip ; rit of our masse J; our, to
them, amazing financial elasticity, nn<l
tho altered tone of our diplomacy, which,
from subservient humbleness begins to
ihange to firm self assertion, h:.ve filled
<he monarchical and reactionary camp
with real al irm. This raw Americtn
youth of yesterday, has become a stu:- ly
and somewhat noisy adult today.
M Fnll «>f rougl» o: tin ;»n<l boar.letl like >\ pud,"
jv, »lo\»4 of his honor; reel tiulof affront,
and determined iu his amb ti ius uspii i
t'tons. Possessing every species of skil
and material nt home, he is sinking off
uicroanti'c, manufacturing, agricultural
and 'monetary dependence, and stfiij.it.
forth into the arena to contend for toe
very highest prize held uut lor Nation i
prdwoss.
Alter the downfall of ill" First N'a; o
leoa. 'he old fashioned politicians of u
tops, despervely staving tore establish
tV.o order ol things which he had so ter
jjbly disturbed, invented the phrase and
th« *y*t?in known as ''the balance ol
power," bj which the different Km).ires
slid Kingdom* were so distributed «■<
singly and conjointly to hold oseh other
in d eck, and thereby preserve that ini
laobility thi.t i.» so "favorable to monarch
ieal forms. Put ideas are as subtle a
doetv'.e'ty, and [ repelled by stcmi they
liavo given ths "bil.inoo" s.nuo rule
tho.ks during the Ist half centtry, th ■
yery wor.it otic occa in tie Summer
Ol the current year, when Prussia leap
ed from 17 to an influence over 35 mil
lions of sturdy Germans.
Put the wise patriarchs of I y gone
heori s have not succumbc 1. Pursuing
{heir *'■:'! known |.'a:i of suggesting Scti
tioa; d i"g :.*s and stirring up chimerical
*!ii I.ls, they are now busily cng g.:d in
i»j;i:atiug the mind id' Europe with tho
pha tistn of a terrible It'ixso Anjeriean
conspiracy, and linking this their r ason
for advocating combinations to bring
nbjut a universal baViCJ of power, that
Is to say, an alliance, offensive and defen
f.ive. ot the remaining States, !o force
America also into the iron bondage of
iiouie circumscribing and repressive polit
ical limit. Dreamers ! —as though the
bonds which even the shrivelled limbs of
J,he decrepit monarchies have burst asun
der 011 the Danube and the Adije, could,
lor an instant, hold tho members of tho
young Republican giant, whose burning
ardor the broad Ocean can scarcely re
strain ! Singular, nay, almost iusane as
such a proposition may seem to American
intellect, it is, nevertheless, gravely an
tertaincd, and tho new French Ministry
of Foreign Affairs, En Valettc, in hit
much talked of circular to tho agents and
ambassadors of tho Empire, has very
broadly hinted at the comprehensive
change which recent events have br ught
about in the relations of Nationalities an I
Governments. West en: and Cent al Ku
rope, including Great' Britain, now so
confronting them on the Eist the colos
sal despotism of the Czars, liumliciing
already 75,000,000 souls devoted to their
greed, their Emperor and their fanatical
-belief in tlieir future conquest of the
C. Nt ne it, and on the Western lloiizin,
but only too near with the aid of ir >ll
dads and monitors as well as popular sym
pathies in Ireland aud Germany, the
United States with a ecusus of 40,000,-
000 ready for 1870, and superabundantly
-rich in everything that makes a Nation
formidable. Thesa two uiighty popula
•tions, although so diverse in iheir politi
eal theories, arc now seen sbakiag, hinds
•with mutual assurances ot firm alliance
and reciprocal support in case ot certain
'grave contingencies not, by any means,
,so unlikely to occur as uiost folks may
imagine.
Kre the lapse of another generation, at
no more than the present rate of iucrease,
these two Powers would number 200,-
'OOO,OOO of population, wieldiug scientific
and material acquisitions bewildering to
foresee. In their presence, at the most
rapid allowable ratio of growth, any of
'the separate monarchies of Europe would
b* bat secondary, while their entire nu
merical force from Finland to the l?os
pi orus, taken together, would hardly, if
tafall, exceed that of the great allies.
Such are tho reflection? that have al
ready passed through the minds of for
eign publicists and statesmen within the
last three months, and a leading organ of
their opinions on our own soil, only some
days ago, very frankly and plainly ex
pressed their ideas as follows :
" Europe ha l two means of combating
the menacing progress of the American
Union. The first was the division of
America into States nearly equal in
strength and military po.vessin such man
ner that no one of them could absorb the
rest, and to form upon this hemisphere
Nations that could not surpass iu resotir
'eos and influence the leidiug Powers of
the Old World. This means has bean
attempted by France who had counsel
upon support of the rest of Europe,
and who liad b.'cn weakly left iu the lurch.
Her Ijovernment, the honor of theCjun
try ouce engaged, thought Ixst t) pose
cute the entcrpri ; we have already ex
plained how untoward circumstances and
in stakes hive caused its failure. To
think of renewing it would be folly.—
W'c must now make up our minds to see
tho NV-th American Continent under the
power or. at least, the direct influence of
ihe United States, 'the moment when
-ueli shall bo the case may bo delayed ;
but it will cornea? every symptom in !i
eates. There remains, then, but one
in" ins of counteracting the consequences
of ihis formidable preponderance. It
consists iu framing a Kuropean Union,
not copied set vilely sf er tlie American
form, for u h istof reasons oxi<t why such
an imitatiou should not succee I, hut a
Confederation th at would secure and pro
taet the iuterests of Europe in her rela
li.ms with the other Continents."
I'ursuiug this reflection, the writer
points out the immense increased weight
that sutdi a co operation would give to
i .urcan counsels iu Aft>» and A>ia
as v\ell as in America, and in regard to
the latter Coutinciit, tra.jg a plan bj
which, iti spit : of any accumulation of
strength ir. tho other diiectiou, the new
Union could ttiaet undue pretentions with
combined resistance. For example,
should the « T ii it el Scates. in the as cr
tion of the Monroe Djct;i lo.orany other
political or commercial line of policy, see
lit to clo-n the Gulf of Mexico against
outside l'owers, the latter, by common
c msout, could retaliate by shutting us
o it from the Baltic, tho Mediterranean,
the German Ocean and British Chan
nels With a str ing foothold in the Can-
Adas an l tho British Possessions of the
North West, they might even disembark
armies and meuac". us severely upon tho
coasts of both Oceans. The many other
ways in which eueh coalition could 'be
made aiiuoying require no analysis. They
suggest thoiiisolvcs to the practical mind
at mice.
Wo have touched npou this topic, not
because we believe that the project of a
European Union i:: the sense uhove set
forth is iu any immediate likclih tod ol
realization, but. beeaiiso its grave discus
sion by a largo ao I intelligent portion of
the f> reign press, is a sign of the times
not to be disregarded by our public rtien.
We are of those who look forward with
the most sanguine faith, to an early re
form in public sentiment that will do
away with the abuses we have still to de
plore, and give a far higher and nobler
tone to the National voice abroad as weii
as at h one. Ouo or ti.e first effects of
such a change wiil be the concentration
of all our influence upon the affairs of
tho two Western Continents, to establish
such alliances between ourselves and all
the States of the North and South Anier
ica, as shall conduce to the general wel
fare of mankind, while setting at rest for
ev.r tho question of European interfer.
cuce. Hitherto, the " Balance of Pow
er," so called, has otly levelled itself in
the oppression of the feeble by tho strong;
the Partition ol Poland, Denmark and
the smaller States of Goinmny; the coa
lition of Monarch* against the people,
and the endless anxieties and disturban
ces occasioned by mutual treachery an l
intrigue, ami oflkioife-iittarmeddling upon
every pretext. In fine, the thing has
been a farce and a misnomei unworthy of
civilization disgraceful to a Christian
epoch.
Our balance of power will be founded
upon the free and full consent of the peo
pc acting on behalf of liberty, justice
and progress jit will be a general coun
cil of emancipated States, an expression
of the opin:ons T)f mankind, taken in the
aggregate, an Areopagus of Nations.—
The time is ripe for such a coalition, and
th# true pivotal centre should be in Re
publican America, not in monarchial Eu
rope.—Al-y; York Mercantile Journal.
—" l'u» not so strong as I used to be,"
as the Onion remarked after it had been
1 oiled.
"Let us have Faith that Right makes Might; and in that Faith let us, to the end,dare to do our djty as we understand it"-- A - I'JNOOLN
BUTLER. BUTLER COUNTY, PA.. WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1866.
A BASHFUL MAN IN LOVE
A correspondent of a sporting paper
tells the following capital story of the ad
ventures of a bashful lover :
llis name was Ja.kson; we used to'call
him J;ick, for short Heaven htlp me
if ho should sec this story ; I hope ho
does not get the piper.
Among many of his misfortunes —for
he was coek-eyo 1, reddi ured and ko.ck
knecd—he numbered the inconvenient
one of bashfulucss; nevertheless, he was
fond of tho ladies; although when in their
presence, he never opened his mouth if
he eouhl help it, and when he diJ speak
he used both hands to help him; in fact,
lie was a man of ' great actions."
Jack, one warm day, ell in love; ho
had just graduated at college, and began
to think he must seek the ladies' society,;
he was getting to !>o a man, and is was
manly to have a "penchant."
So Jack f'jll in lov.' with the sweetest,
liveliest, most hoydeuish'girl inithesquare;
ut how to tell his love I there was the
rub. lie had heard a groat deal of the
"language of tho eyes," and lie accord
ingly tried that, lilt when lie looked par
ticularly hard at the window where Miss
I'jmily was in tho habit of sitting, -owe
rrsons on the other side of tho street
would invariably b w to Itiin, thinking
lie was endeavoring to catch tlicir eye.
he has despised expressive eyes ever since
then.
At length, Jack obtained an introduc
lion !u ugh his sister, ami with her he
called several times, but she was obliged
to leave the city for the season, and as
eich interview only increased his atdor
lie determined ongoing it alone.
Long before the hour fixed upon by
custom for an cveuing visit, he found
himself arrayed iu his beat. Blue coat,
metal bullous, black cassitnere pauts, said
p mts being a I letle tighter th u the skin,
and a 112 p >;!cs3 vc ,t
The journals of the day state, as nu
item of that the thermoine
tcsring. d Irom seventy-live to eighty
uegr.es. Jack t wears it was a hundred.
As the hour gradually drew near, Jack
found his perspiration and his courage
oozing together; and he almost deter
mined to pull off and stay at homo. He
concluded, however, l.o'd take a walk
p.sst the house, and see how he felt.
Hy t!io time lio reached tlie uiaasion.
he (irmly concluded not togo in, but on
casting his eyes toward tlio parlor win
dow and perceiving no signs of life, lie
thought it was probable tliat uo'one was
at house, an 1 since ho Jiad proceeded so
fur, he would proceed farther, and leave
his card.
No sooner determined than concluded.
In a reckless moment he pulled at the
boll; the darned thing needn't make such
a cussed noise.
Tha door was opened as if by inagic,
and the servant girl politely asked lim
in. Miss Emily was alone in the pallor,
and would be delighted to see him.
0 Lord ! here was a fix ! go in a dark
parlor with a pretty gill alone ! It was
too late to retreat, tho girl bud closed the
front door, and was pointing into the par
lor where Miss Emily was.
Ueing perfectly convinced that no
o loicc was left him, iuto tho dark room
ho walked or glided.
All was perfect chaos to his eye fir a
moment, but onJV for a moment; then
from the deepest /'loom came forth an
voice, "bidding him welcome, ind
draw near." To obey the order was but
the work of a moment, as he supposed,
but lie little dreamt of the ob.tacle which
fate had thrown in his way. lie knew
too well that the stream of love had many
ripples, but full grov.li snags entered in
to his head. Judge tl.cn of his aston
ishmcnt at being tripped up almost at the
fair one's feet, by a fat stool wi h plctho
lic legs, which chance or a careless ser
vant had placed exactly on his road to
happinoss. Over he went, and as the
tailor bad not allowed for an extra ten
sion of the muscles and tinews, lie not
only procure] a tumble, Lut also a com
pound fraftture extending' all across that
point which comes in closest contact with
the chaif.
fluvintr p : ckedjhimsclf up as carefully
as circumstances would allow, the smoth
ered laugh of Miss Kinily not ''settin™
biui forward any," ho at last succeeded
in reaching a chair, and drawing his coat
tails forw ;rd to prevent a disagreeable
expose, sat himself down with as much
grace as a bear would when requested to
dance upon a pile of'&eedlus.
The young lady was almost suffocated
with laughter at the sad ni'sfortunes ol
the bashful lover, fol' truly sorry for hiiu
and used all lior yowo»s of fucinntion to
drive it from his uiiud, and eventually
succeeded so as to induce him to make a
umaik. On tliis rock he split.
Just at that moment she discovered
she had lost her handkerchief. What
had become of it? She was sure she
had it who he caino in. It must ec
taiirly be somewhere about.
"Ilsvcn't you got it under you, Mr.
Jackson?"
Ja'.k was he he had not, b».t poor
Jack, iu venturing an answer, cou'd not
possibly get along without raising his
ands, and of course he must drop his
coat tail. In hi 3 anxiety to recover the
mis dug viper, he oven ventured to in
cline his body so as to get a glance on
the floor. As he did so tho fracture opened
and be! o'd there lay, as the la Jy supposed
her properly.
It was ;he work of a mcnt to catch the
c.i nor a {id cxclaii..:
"II tic it is, sir; yon needn't (roulc
yourself about it. Just raise a litrle, it's
under you;" at tho FLUJC time she gave
it a I tig, hard pull.
Alas 1 the tail was told; no escape,
nothing h of as- ceial inlerpositiou
of Providence could save his shirt.
But what should he do ? Another,
and another, stronger pull, evincing on
the part 0 ihe lady a praiseworthy de
termination to obtain tli lost dry goods,
coupled with tho request:
"'(Jet up, sir, you're sitt : ng oij it," de
termined him; and in the agoriy of the
moment, and grabbing with both hands
a fast disappearing strip 'of liuea which
encircled his nec.k, ho exclaimed:
"For God's sake, Miss Kuiily, leave my
shirt collar."
Exploit of an ItJian Olcer,
This Italian pap:rs 11.■ ull of the sin
gular explo <f of a Savoyard. Capt. De
Leu, who commands a squadron of the
Victor Emanuel Lancers, and is descri
bed as an officer of remarkable dash and
intrepidity, a reputation he certainly de
serves if tlic stories told of him bo true.
Ilis squadron being the head of the *<d
vance guard, ho reccivod oilers fromCi
aldina to press forward in tho direction
of I';>]ya until he reached the very gates
of that ci v and there lie found the ene
my in very considerable numbers. In
stead of considering his mission fulfilled
and retreating ho is rolatcd to have or
dered his trumpets to sound, and to have
audaciously entered the place, whereup
on the Augtiians, although six or eight
times as numerous, doubtless thought the
wholo advance guard of the Fourth
Corps was close to his heels, hurriedly
evacuated the city,whoso inhalitantsc u'd
not make enough > 112 the bold handful of
lancers.
After a short time De Leu took four
of his men, went down to the railway
«tation, had a locomotive and one car
riage got .-eady, and started in the direc
tion of Vicenza. He went on and with
out seeing Austrians, until at last ho en
tered the Vicenza statfon, full of imperi
al royal troops. Had lie his squadron
with him. he would perhaps have charged
them, taking advantage of their aston
i-hm< «t at the unexpected sight of Ital
ian unifor us, hut, with four dismounted
lances, he of courso could do uothing.
Unwilling, however, to return to I'adua
empty handed, he ordered tlie driver to
take the engine to tho head of a long
train which ho saw there ready to start
in another direction. This was smartly
done, the train hooked on, and within
half an hout the adventurous captain re
entered the I'adua station with a quanti
ty of Austrian tobacco worth something
like 50,000,000 francs. Tl.us is the
story told and it must he admitted that
51. I). Leu was more lucky than wise,
and that t'nc Austrians at I'adua and Vi
cenza were easily frightened and outwit
ted.
LOVELINESS.— rIt is 4OT your dress,
ladies, your expensive shawl or golden
fingeis that attract the attention of men
offense; they look beyond these It
is your character they study. If you
are trifiingand loos-c iu your conversation,
no mattnr if you arc as beautiful as an
angel, you have no attractions for the
sex, It ig the lovcl'mess of your nature
that wins and continues to retain the af
fections of tho heart. Young ladies
sadly miss it who labor to improve their
outward looks while they bestow cot a
thought in their piuds. Fools may Lc
won by gewgaw, aiid fashiuuable showy
dresses, but the wise and substantial are
never caught by traps. Let modesty bo
your dress. Uso pleasant and agreeable
language, and though you may not be
courted by the fop, the good aud truly
great may linger in your steps.
—The Mayor of Nancy is an intelli
gent individual. On the occasion of the
recent visit of th<? J'.mprctfs Eugenie
with her son, the Mayor asked the
l'rince Imperial : "What is ytnr age my
I'riuee ?" "lam ten," answered the
l'rince. "So young and already tho sciu
of the Kmporor ot the French !" ex
claimed the Mayor, with great emphasis.
A F.u ay Matcli.
A great ;i!nny years since, when bngli.
eyed and fair haired las'cs ero not 112
i t in New Fng and as they arc
now, there dwelt in tho town of I' ,
a pretty village 'on e twenty mi it - distant
from market town, a pc . aliai y ugly aud
cross-grained but" wealty farmer.
Minnie was Dajforth's only child and
report said truly she would be his sole
legatee. The old man w.is a sturdy far
mer and was worth full SIO,OOO, at that
pe i i handsome fortune. The spark
ling eyes and winning manners of Min
nie had stirred up the finqT feelings of the
whole male population of the village, and
her uilci uutnerous, but her father
was peculiar, and none succeeded in
winning much headway with him or
her.
In tlic meantime Jlinn'c had a true
loyal !ov er II EC 10'. Who would liavo
supposed that such a fellow dare to look
on y and comparative refinement ?
His name was Walker, and lie was si 11 ply
a rmer employed tiy old Dan forth, who
had entrusted Joe with the management
of his place two or three years. l>at a
very excellent farmer and a right good
manager was this 00 Walker. lie was
ynung, too, only twen -three, and 1.0 no
tualy Mi in love with this beautifhl Min.
nie Danforth, his employer daughter.
Hut the strangest part of the occurrence
was that Minnie returned his love, earn
c; lly and frankly promised to marry him
at a favorable time.
Things went 011 merry for a time, but
old Darjforth discovered certain glances
and attentions between them whieh ex»
cited his envy and suspicion. Very soon
afterwards Joe learned the old man's
mind n regard to his future disposal 0
Minnie's hand; 110 quickly saw his case
was a hopeless one unless he resorted to
stratagem, so ho set his wits at once to
work. By agreement, an app .rently set
tled dislike and eolduess was observed
by the'lovers for eachotherforsix months
and the father saw, as he belivcd, with
satisfaction that his previous fears had
been p.ematuro. 'J hen by agreement al
so betwen them Joe absented himself
(rem house at evenings; and night after
night'for full three ui n lis longer, did
Joe disappear as soon as his work was
finithed, to return only at a late hoar to
bed. This was unusuil, and I>unforth
was determined to know tho cause of it.
Joo frankly confessed that lie was in
love with a man's daughter, who resided
less than three miles distant, Lut after a
faithful attachment between them for
months, the old man ha J utter ly refused
his application for the young giiTshand.
This satisfied him that he had made a
mistake in regard to h's own child, and
he resolved t<j help Jhe to get married
and thus to stop all further trouble or
suspicion at home.
"Do you liko her 1"
"Yes, sir—yc3."
•'Then marry her."
" Hut I cau't—her father objects."
"Kyh ! let him do so; what need you
care. Run away with her."
"Elope !"
"Yes, off you at ones. If tho
gil will join, all right. Marry her, bring
her here; you shall have tho cottnge at
tho fool of the lane; I'l furnish it for you:
your wages shall be increased, and -the
old man may like it or not."
"Hut—"
"No huts, Joe, do ::s I bid you-; so
about it at once, and—
"You will stand by mo?"
"Yes, to the last. I know Joo, you
will makfo any body a good son or a good
husband."
"The old fullov w 11 be so mad though."
"Who cares? Go, now, quickly."
"To-morrow night then," said Joe.
"Yes."
"I'll hire Clover's horse."
"No you shan't,"
"No?""
"I say no. Take my horse—the best
•one —Young Morgan—he'll take you in
fine style in the uew phaeton."
"The old gentleman will bo aston
ished,"
"Nevermind, goon. We'll turn the
laugh on him. I'll take care of you and
your wife at any rate."
"I'll do it," said Joe.
"You shall," said Daaforth; and they
parttd in good spirits.
An hour after dark on the following
evening Joe made his appearance dreesed
it a new black suit, and really looked
very comely. The old man bustled out
to the barn with him", helping him to
harness Young JJprgap. •
A few rods from the house ho found
Minnie as previously arranged,, aud rc>
pairing to tho village, tha pirsan quickly
made them one in holy wedlock. Joe
took his bride and soon dashed back, and
halted at oIJ Duoforth's hou.-?c, wh) w:u
ie:t.i_> looking .r li'.ni with open
'ls i< <ll no . '
" Yes," answered Joe.
'• "ling her in," continued the old fcl
low, in high glee; " never mind conipli
■nents liere," and the honest farmer rai
fur l'ghts, returning almost iutnioJiately
" Yes, yos."
•' And this is rny wile," ho addjd, as
he passe! up his beautiful bride, the be
witching an ! lovely Minnie.
" What !" roared the old man—"what
did you say. Joo—you villian—you seam;
you cheat—you—"
• Is is tiue, sir, wo are manicd; yoi
Ivisol this, you planned the affair; y
•t ue have a horse; you eneourag
'ie. you prom is d to stand by me. y>
Tcied roe the cott.igc at the cud of th
lam>—"
'• I didn't—l deny it. You isn't
prove it—you're n—"
" Calmly, now, sir," said Joe; and the
entrca'ii of the happy couple quelled
he old gentleman's ire.
Tie gave in reluctantly, and the fair
Minnie was oveij 'ycd to be aeknowlcdgeu
as Mrs. Joe Walker.
A Noblo Ladj.
A short time ago ns a train of cars wn
approaching the Suspension liridge nea
Niagara, the conductor found a young
nan who could no. jay his fare. Tl.<
poor fellow* was evidently in tho last sta
ges of consumption, and emaciated to
kelotonic prop rlions. lie-sat by him
self, and his eyes were red as though he
had been weeping, but the laws of tho
company could not be transgressed, and
he must leave the ttain. Not a word was
poken ami no one moved as'the eonduo
tor led him /mm his seat, all shivering
with fear; but just as he reaehed the
door, a beautiful girl arose from her seat,
and with k lright, sprnkliug eyja deman
ded tho amount charged for the poor in
>alid. The conductor said tight dollars
the"cu|on the young and noble girl fool
the amount from her purse, and kmd'y
led tho sck youth back to his scat. The
action ; ut to shame several men who hud
witne'- ' it, and they offered to "pay
half," bfft tho whole-souled girl indig
nantly refused their KS islamo. When
the train arrived at Albany, tho young
protectress gave the invalid money
enough to keep him one night in that
city, and sent hi'.u to hi.- friends the next
morning. Two-thirds of the women of
(ho world would sufFor by comparison
with her. The man who gets that r.o
bio girl for a who will bo a subject'of
admissible envy.
A jolly feliow had tin cffico next
door to a doctor'sshop. One *':»y a gen
tleman of the old losiy seliool blundered
v *
in the wr. Bhop.
" Is tlie doctor in?'
" Don't live hero," paid the lawyer who
was* in full scribble over some old docu
ments.
" 0, I thought this was bis office."
'■ Xext door, sir."
" l'ray, sir, can y< u tell mo if he has
m ny patients?"
The old gentleman told the story in
the vicinity, and the d ictor threatened
tho 1 vryer with a libel suit.
YcUNG AMKHICA.—A boy cuiue home
after having a glorious time in the pud*
dies, his faco nil aglow and his iuobfcr
boots lull of water. The punishment ot
staying in the house for >lie reniaindcrof
the day did not seem very hard at first;
but as bis little heart warmed up with
tho rcccolleetion of the tiiumphs of the
morning, when he had w..dad deeper than
any of his playmates clared to, he could
bear tho restraint no longer, and went to
his mother, saying : I'leaso mother, whip
me, and lot mo go out again
"Madame," said a very polite travel
ler to a testy old landlady, "if 1 see pro
per to help myself to this milk, is there
any impropriety iu it?"
"I don't know what you mem to insin
uate that there is anything nasty in that
milk, I'll give you to understand you've
struck the wrong house, there aiß't a fist
hair in it, for a ; soon as Martha Ann told
mo the cat wig drowned in the milk, 1
went right straight aud stiained it over."
The young man fainted.
—A nobleman having given a grand
party his tailor was among tho company,
and "a* thus addressed by bis lordship :
" My dear sir, I remember your face; bui
I forget your name." Tho tailor whis
pered in a low ton ."I made your breech
es." The nobleman faking bim by tin
baud, exclaimed : '• Major lileeches I an
happy to see you."
—When is butter like Jri-h chil
dren? Whea it is made into Kttlf
Pats.
—A man recently knocked dov.i
an elephant, lie was an auctioneer.
NUMBER 41)
111 Gall To-Morrow,
If. never „112, bc ~ ,
";"° n lo« »„„„ ex .
of' •» 1 12""" «»•
, attcn,,o » to visitors, and the <bl
' incident, BB i,I to be literally
true, JS tol.l of .-" PhiJaflelphi™
vho subjected himself to great mor
tinention by to Wash
ington Irving. He had been much
annoyed by many idle calls, an d be
"<nie a little crusty.
One day, the owner v, as ftanding
in his door, when up came a rough,
looking man, in a well-bundled oyer-,
coat, .rearing coarse, unpolished'
'■> >U, <tn<\ carrying in his hand a,
"nip, who thus nccosfed hira :
"Good day, sir. Are you the own
-1 of this establishment ?"
Well, I an!, ' replied the cairiagQ
dealer.
Hive you any fine carriages for
>lo. inquired tbe stranger, appar
ently not heeding the boor.shncss of
the other.
ell, I have."
"At tfhat prices?"
"Different prices, of course."
"Ah ! yes. Can .1 look at them?"
"You can do as you please."
The stranger bowed politely, and
passed in, examined the vehicles for
a few moments and then returned and
s lid ;
"There is one I think will answer
tny purpose pointing toward* one,
"what is the price ?"
"Two hundrad dollars."
"Is ;hat the lowest ?*'
"Yes."
"Well, sir, I will oall an 1 give you
my decision to-morr»w," and the
stranger walked away. %
"Yes, you'll call to-morrow 1 Oh,
yes, certainly," replied the owner in
a tone of irony, not so low lut tho
stranger heard him ; but he kept on
lis way, taking no outward notice of
it.
"Foil me, will you ?" and the own
er whistled.
The next day came, and with it the
stranger.
"1 Live come according to prom
ise."
"I see you have," replied the own
er, a little abashed.
"I will take that '"ariiago, sir,"
and to the astonishment of the own
er, he pulled out an old wallet, well
stuffed with bills, and counted out two
hundred dollars.
The owner was completely stagger
ed. Theie was something new. A
cabman with so much money. 110
looked at it, then at the stranger ;
eyed him from head to foot, andevrd
examined his boots attentively. Then
he counted his money over, and held
up each bill to tho light to see if it
was counterfeit. A thought struck
him ; he would find out his name.
"I supp- so you would like a re
ceipt, sir ?" 112 aid Jie.at length to tho
stranger,
"It may be as well.''
"Yrs, .sir. What name ?"
"Sir," said the other, actually
starting back with amazement, "did
I understand your name wag "
"Washington Irving," replied tho
other, nuilitig.
"Washington Irving, sir—my dear
sir," st.itnnicred the owner Confused*
ly, I—l—l really, sir, beg ten
th usand pardons, air, but I mis
took you for a cabman ! I did inr
deed."
"No excuse, my friend," replied
Irving. "I am no better than you
took mo for. You acted perfectly
right, and having at length sacceer
ded in getting his receipt, amid a
host of apologies, he politely bado
the carriage maker "good day," ana
left him to the chagrin, that lie ba4
mistaken for a cabman, a man whose
I jfty genius commanded tho admira
tion of the whole world.
—A gentleman riding a very or
dinary looking horse askod a negro
whom he met, how far it was to a
neighboring town, whither he w»s go
ing. The negro, looking at the horse
under the rider, with a broad grin of
contempt, replied: '*Wi' dat ar boss,
massa, its jist fo'tecn miles. Wi* a
good chunk ob a hoss, seben miles;
out if you jist had Massy Jimmy's
boss ! gosh ! you're dare now!"
—A young lawyer arrested for
backing a friend with a pen knife
could see nothing criminal in what ho
bail done, lie thought it was a well
established rub that any one could
cut an acquaintance without incur
ring a penalty.
—Superlatives are dangerous
thing?. A man once wrofc to his wife, •
"My dearest Maria," an J by return
>f post he rec ived the co d reply :
"Permit mc to correct cit'ur your
grammar or your nioralit - . Pray
wrliO are your other dear Marias?"