E
ThM
511
vOL xxXLI.
0141110001 OP COXIUMMA CO.
~ .0111100ir .341 werner.../Ael :
Prentonge-1,1 WiMom BinlL
t+ t
A m0t A11r0 . ...,1 .. Derr,
iit . "ignier - ". .., r toter K. llorbein.
! tin
kotAtiill% l l VAC tia—Jease Coleman
gulamx er—* Ohrt Ot. Vltatt.
. 4 John F. Fowler
Commissioners— Montgomery Cole.
{
David Yeager,
ShoritT—lVlorleeni Millard.
Treasurer—Jacob lobe.
L. B Rupert,
it uditara— John P. Damian.
1
Jacob Barris.
Commismiener's Clerk—Wm. Kriel:lmmo.
Comminlioneen Attorney—E. 11. Little.
Marcia Appraiser—W. 11. Jacoby.
Conn wryer--Istm A. 1 h , wi ti.
District At troney—Milton M. Trough.
Coroner— William J. Meier.
Count!. Soperintentlem—Cino. G. Barkley,
AtNesort• interim! Revenue—E. P. Clink.
John Thomas,
AviAnnt Anstonor-- i.ll. Mier,
Daniel Mel I enry.
Colleetor—lienlimin F. Batman.
Dloolisburg NotNal School and
',heron* inoteltute.
HOARD OF IN: 4 II{UVriON.
HENRY LURVEII, A. M., Priii,Zild,
Professor of intellectual and 3ioral
and Theory and Practice of 'ft:aching.
Miss Sarah A. Carver, Preo.ptress,
Teacher of French, Botany and Ornamental
Branches.
Dane O. Best, A. 8.,
Professor of Ancillit Languages and Eng
lish I;r:unman
J. W. Ferree, A. M.,
ProftwNor of Mathematic* and Practical
Astronomy,
Rev. David C. John, A. M.,
Profer of Chemistry and Phpici.
I'. M. Bates,
Teacher of C;cography, History and Book.
keeping.
James Brown,
A.4..tant Teacher of 3lathenuttics and Eng
lish Grammar.
Milts Alice M. Carver,
'Poacher of Muoie on Piano and .Melodeon.
Airs. Hattie L. Best,
Teacher of Viand 3111..ie, and Asai,t. Teach.
er of instrumental Music,
Mi,s Julia I; nest,
Teacher of Mould School.
The Winter term will commence Novem
ber 21, Imtis, and until our Boarding Hail
Iu ready f4r occupancy, on application to th e
Principal, bt1.1111.11t 9 will be furnished with
homes in pleasant famine-.
It is better for students to commence at
the opening of the term ; but when Bib. is
impracticable, they can enter at any tittle.
NATION U. POW:IDR Y.
(0 04 br'; t ttl.ooJl , 3lt 110 c. 2.
A.
t r k
, rr i k.
p utit,let,
I,w, 4 14,1 4 ,
pas .14 1 1 .14. $101,,,h tit.
kireparea to ter e ruder.,.
Kiodi tt4 ”ar
for rollerles, Blast F0r0.0 , 0. b't ionury , i,;“
1.47,
Ile is also prspdroil to troika dtere, on .ita, e and
pattern*. piow•ii ono. and every, now asedili 1410,6 in
4aolass ennoilrios.
1101 extdosive rambles and niartiaai Mn: bairn, war
toot in rec.ivina ibrr largest contracts oo
10.. t reanonoble 101 , 11 V.
Grain oriel kinds will be taken in elan:mar for
raGioss.
This eidablishoood is lorti.sil near the l•ockown ,
na R Bloomsburg Railroad Depot,
Pinta V KR
Bloomsburg, Sept. IN. tr 43.
OMNIBUS LINE.
TRIG intilergivwd would respectfully announce to
the citizens of Bloomsburg, and the public gem
entity, that he is running
an ()MINIBUS LINE, be
twee(' thin since and the dir.-
recent Rail Road Heirits MIL ~ 40 ; s t ....git t e,••
Sy, 0 1 1turtiftee Hlerputd) to
connect with the several Trains 'Atte South a Wert
on the Catitwissa and Williamsport Rail Road, and
with those going North and South on the hack. &
Illoomobtirg Road,
Ills OMINIBUSsES are in good condition, comma
dines and comfortable, and charges reasonable.
07* Persons wishing to meet or see ti”'if friend".
&pit& can ho Amin Mad nted upon teasotmble
charges. by leaving timely notice at any of the
tele,
JACOB L. GIRTON.
Pruprionr,
Bloomsburg, April Y?. lAti4.
NEW OYSTER SALOON,
' . :,..10,,t 1 he holotoont of tho
4 4: 1 " la Ti rtat 1 l ibia la riliglZl2l:,
BILTIER LEACOCK, SUPT.
Fresh Oyeiers ',erred up in every vie and at all
heure ; all the other "Game" found in tirst
Giaes fieininrante.
SA Ale co n randy nn hand, together q ith choice
Liquors a ovary britrd.
everything in tip too order Minot this Saloon,
liiiwilyhon not tolerated. titt) in and And my %loon
in Mean nimt radar.
Ploonishurg, N0v.13,167.
Coopering ! Coap ring
Tile.telhoet liter reop ttfetts anneunceo that he to
prepared to mattoructure
BARRELS, TUBS,
BUCKETS, CHURNS V
and avorpthing in the lino of (Unroofing.
REPAIRING DONE TO ORDER
and at thud notion. Ili'" ii is ',hop is loon( gl on
Main eltreet, Bloomaborp, firilf t h e Iron Company's
PMlrond, M. S. W lAAAMS.
Bloomiinng. April :111. ifs
't 4 WAY *ARltelt 51110,4
The undetingned swarth/11y annottneert that he
has retuned it shop, one duos, {WNW Mayor's , Drug
thtore , to the Ritehallo Mock. where he is preptred
ta withal the barbering bustm so In all its branches .
The net of coloring whiskers and moustaches to
practiced by him most skillfully. tie also deans
clothing, making them look nearly us geodes new,
upon the roost reasonable terms. MmHg procured
the services of a fashemable hair dresser he is pr •
pared in Vieit,familles in cases where it is (MOW)
to put up or out httlf 1/11011 feW3ollloll‘ temp,
‘rffr lieu Toole of thc very best quality, usrd for
rimming heir, kept atinst.ntly on heed, eager MOO,
0. V. COLLINS.
hinonisburg , April 1, 1800,
FALL AND IVINTEIII.
Millinary Goods
At the Riney More of'
AMANDA WERKEETSER,
(vocipopt To MARY TATUM)
to 111.00MH11URII, PA.
The pubWcalliit tharentroully informed that they can
ha lienielnag iMl t b. avevytioint In thenee
ors the innit ressannthin temp, nod in anode not
ur psoped for myth, Wanly or durnbility in thin
own, Pet Aiming Myles of hata, 4.111:4
ir tidoo fot, Mut Mlomee wear, nru ROllllllOll
ode' s' eslithielitd mil the Wee of the most
oteilinue.
Pres Melting rail terrine onneini intention.
lininlird Marina now thu her 'pole are
11.
GIVILhOr a TAN
titotel On Main met
(
n - wi t
ide) Wow Marko;
anatre, i!nnor
... . - .
B LOOM SB IT liG ,
i. i
11
1 t)issimi.'-f
. 1•71 lwl •
11 i •'^ • -.
, , • !.. . 1 4. , ~A,,
. .
• ~....,_.
litoontsburg gentetrat
I'ERMIA,—.I 00 in admen. If not paid within
MX MONTHS, Wit rent» additional will lota arvrd.
Nopapor diarouttulied until all an order
310 paid except at noon of the pditor
RATEA op AloVliliTistNti.
iv* uNvo lIINATITIMA A "WARS.
Ono liquaro olio or tfirve invorliolso
Every auhueiprout insertion lepo 1101013..
Ppm*, 11 , 1 Um. 3,i, Olaf. Iv
One oquoyo, h.hu I 3 001 4,00 00 10 00
Two opoiree, 3,1/6 oil 1 0,00 ft ft It iv
Tit riw 1100 I 1.00 I Vao.l 1",00 IS,IIII
Poor ivioorl.4, 1, 1 .0 6,001 I 10,00 114 !Hi you,
°kiwi. 10 00 1%1 00 1 14,110 1 1$ 00 :10,00
00e rot 0010. 15.00 1. 00 :WV uo
Ev.enior's and Adndnistrntoes Notice. lOn
dont oor'm .„. . ... ....
fitiwr ndvertiv'tonnt ft in AO rte 4 according to hpettidi
rnotta
1 11 1 , 410'.. INOtireS, without Advert 'gement, twenty,
Cent. pet title,
Tiotti,ient mivertigeineote eornide fu mfg mica, MI
other* Mo. once the first IttituMow.
nu going home, my titer, the tatminons
!war,
I am retnly and waiting. AA the time draw
ctit nettr,
The angel, are *round me, they beckon ma
I'm ping home, my biAer, I'm soon going
hoom•
Vet not to my how in the obi 'Greenwood'
Where the odor of flowers the ntutosithere
Wher e the robin.: are zilleinor, in the old m
ann' trees.
Awl their lad tenig , of twimer float away
on the brow.
Jly 414 Imml.t. linty I loved it, with my Ft'
Itrnt* ao 11+%.r,
IVA 111.1 At., and my siatet
U
ho.r.
For the love if him elk, who calls me his
wife,
'Vouhl I've left the old home:Acta,
the joy of my lilt.
O f home of thy childhood, I will see it no
more,
So youtot, yet toy lire-dreams all soon will
be o'er,
For di-en in hetirt-whi-ners, I Lear the word
eetoe
,
Away to titiother m !walnut/1 !waln lime;
\\*ln•re the Bowers are 'blooming, but never
will rob,
Otero tatttrts flptlit i. glowing, but never a
ii
,t: t. !) • it) It rtte.y ritr!,
•1 .utt glut .. . • •t • •nti t.; • t.
71-.1 111 y p!\ 0 , 1 tww nra,t dc-
fhe :ti +:f,.:. ,' ' ait, •- , '. a 'rt,utt<i
"•,: •i'' ,
1 1„e:', you it; . 'wine
"dit•.t, ••:h as 1i: c•-11 vr.l
WI is that 1- ut Id t y..teb‘r —the
One dat...ing wiCt 1., :it. ? Ito :'et! knew her,
Pau' r
Toe young man aiblee.seil it 4 P a n; r a k e d
his. eye gle , s and look.l long and steadily at
the yearn: -id and r plieJ : "That is Mira
Swan, the Marble. Hearted."
"Why do you call her the 'marl& hear
ted? It stems a giange name to bestow
upon a beautiful woman."
"Yes it is a strange name, but very ap
propriate for yonder lady, who as the story
goes, is like the ieelsags of the Polar Sea."
"I do net'ont t ion on the fitness of the
name ; I only ask why it was givenher. She
is by far the most beautiful girl in the room. "
1I antical," replied Paul,
"but as heat floss as she is pretty. She has
had ball the gentlemen in the room at her
feet, but treats them all alike," said Paul
bitterly. lie had been among the rejected.
"`;lte is heartless, and it is a great mystery
to us
Warren flagon smiled and said : "Please
introduce me, Paul. 1 like her appearance,
but I am a stranger to all present. Tun
years in foreign lands render:, one a gran
ger here."
"1 will introduce you with pleasure--but
I caution you, and kindly telmonldt you
against loving her, fiw remember, she is
marble, and your heart will have to pay 14
it if you dm
"head on hint ; you hare cautioned me
of my danger, and I still remember the °ill
adage, 'Forewarned is forearmed. I am
not ahoy, Paul, to break my heart liar a
woman."
"Boys' hearts often bend where wens'
break," ;,yid nod.
Mira Swan wa. pretty, and an only daugh
ter. Her :light, rounded Fwin was perfcct
in its symmetry. Her small mouth, with
even white toeth, half seen when her rw,y
lips dimpled into smiles ; her rich black hair
which rim ded over a broad white brow, was
looped up from her thee, awl fastened at the
hack in a ina.:s ofshining cm), and gave a
rery beautiful effect to her alive irtutee.—
She was al , o very prettily dress e d, being at
tired in crimson silk with an overdress or
rich black lace fastened at the neck with
scarlet geranium blossoms—a cluster of the
same gleaming in her hair. Mira cared
more fur buds and blossoms than for pearls
and diamonds. She was gay and brilliant,
yet when any of her lovers whispered of the
"grand passion" she would be a very queen
in her haughty self possesion•
Warren flagon was introduced, and was
soon floating with her through the intricate
1111121 N of the dance. He paid her the most
assiduous attentions throughout the even
ing. Mira knew him by report to boa gen
tleman of unbounded wealth and extensive
travel. In his company, its the hours swept
swiftly by, her interest deepened nil the
PUBLIAIIRD EVIKRY WM/NEM/AY IN
111,0031511111111, VA., BY
WILLIAMSON 11. JAI'OIIIT.
Purl Tin; DrmortuT.
The Beautiful Botue.
IIY
BLOOMSBURG, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 11,1868.
while in her noble admirer. Her young
heart beat it it had never done before.
Warren Dagon war► a brilliant conversa
tionalist, and few men could be more flosein
ming than he, for be had traveled extensive
ly in his own and foreign lands, and when
he chose to exert himself to please, his dark
eloquent eyes, pure elnesie language and
high-bred elegance of manners were irresist
ibly charming. He evidently desired to
',lease Mira, as his manner towards her im
plied as much.
Mira listened spell•boound io his beautiful
conversation, thereby awaking the jealous
indignation of a dozen other less fortunate
admirers. They felt themselves aggrieved,
tor she always treated them with such cool
indifferenee. One lady, resplendent in bro
cade and di+►mends, !material through hot•
teeth. "Thu marble-hcarted is warming at
last,"
Si 611
Mira cared little f'or mindratinn and 1,--•
for the opinion of her la,hionable friend... ,
freely expressed. She was wtil.in.• in ,le•
cool Otero in the moo tt f o lo w j , o : •.. n r.-
Httuou, ii-tening to Iti. tan-i.•.. 1 ‘..i• ••. %.1,... •
low. sweet tones were • tit rine. :: Aran •i.• wild
melody in a heart that 11.. V, i' Iwr , i , • vibrated
with love. She was listerinz to the thrill
ing description of Ihitne,,the Eternal City.
enshrined on her seven hills. lie delinea
ted with an artist's endued:Eon, her , 'rand
old marbles and intspircd painting-. over
which the dust and decay of aerg rost like
the gray shroud on the bosom of tits dead .
In elegant latumige he ile , eribed the won
der , : of ditten I. rid eil Penn itii. lie !deter
ed the tent;;:., theatres and dwellings,
where lived and loved the 'ample of tw o
thousand years mro. Ile told her in plow
ing Lowe:tint, of the graeefal minarets,
fienlwry palms and grand anal olenut pyra.
nsiti, and while listening she seemed to
scale with hint the danyerou , pa. , c. of the
Alps and stood in breath!, ... a w e h, aping up
the dizzy heights crown-. 1 with ice and
snow. And in imagination she wandered
down the golden Nile and admired the rich
beauty of its fertile valleys, rendered ghtri
mly Leantiftd by its frequent inundations.
His voice took a deeper and sweeter tone
when he dosenibed the ruined cities of the
far East, the fretted arches and vast cathe
dral aisles of the Old World made grand by
the work of art, and rainbow painted win
dow.. who.e artists dying left immortal'.
names behind them, way-marks for totem
gifted spirit , , who are destined to follow
t lit IH dews the broad aisle orcomilw ages. I
She drank in the tittles of his softly twain- ,
fated voice, taking no note of time. When I
tipper was announced lie led her to the
tabl••. Inning the repast she wa.clal bite i
.rrowly, and when Wale was served het 1
fa•• • becalm , pale with ev itement. Site of 1
fer..l hint a glass with a smile ; he pre her 1
a ;q.,trvhilik look and refused it, eallitez fa
water in its stead. Tinniny! to her he sai•l :
"1 cannot pledge you in wine for 1 do not
drink it; but with this gl=ass of water, Na
ture's purest bevel -a .: . i ,le IA to you.— ;
May love and happint•ss be your portion in "
life.'
"Thank you." It was all Ate said, but a
' bright smile rewarded hint better titan
words. ilira had inlet] met her affinity.
Love budded in their hearts that night, and
ere the year had passed it blossomed intk, a
hymenial wreath.
It was moonlight upon the 1 hatnn. The
home t.o which Warren l)agon took his
young bride was beautifid with vines and
summer blossoms. lie and Mira were walk
ing arm in arm on the cool l iurta, convers
ing of the past and dreaming bright dreams
of die future—lung years to come, moulted
with carthlyhappinea.
"I never could comprehend the reason
that your friends called you marble-hearted.
You wore never cold to me, darling,' said
he, drawing her down to a seat by his sid e .
"It is a sad story dear limliand; Lit us sit
here in the moonlight and 1 will tell you of
my fide young sister who died three years
ago. I shall never again meet a spirit like
hers, so proud, so pure and free. Elsie was
but seventeen ashen she gave her heart to
Atwell Chandler. He loved the wine cup
better. lie was no ordinary mum many and
rich were the gifts bestowed upon him by
nature. lie was a dad, haired man, with
eyes of rare depth and fee:ihg. Ile was
very handsome ; in manner he was gentle
manly and pleasing. We all loved him ;
Either loved him like a son, and so gave hint
Elsie. They were married and went to
dwell in his beautiful home in the South,
and thr a tow years they were very happy.
"Then Atwell began to neglect his busi
ness for at downward path which ended in a
drunkard's grave. Five years from her bri
dal day Elsie lama home a heart broken wid
ow; still young, but broken-hearted. At
well died by his own hand, for they found
hint in the summer house with his brains
blown out by a pistol shot; and my deur
beautiful sister came to her girlhood's home
broken hearted— came home to die.
"It was just such a night US this, a beau
tiful night in midsummer, when Elsie died.
She lay upon her pillow looking so white
and fair. She wits so perfectly calu► ;no
fear of death thrilled her pure spirit ; her
Mee would have charmed n Raphael, it was
so spiritual in its ohildliko beauty. If the
angels on the other shore are fairer than
wan Elsie in her dying hour, then indeed
will heaven be glorious in its brightness.
I knew that she was dying, for I saw the
hue of death steal over the features. Her
bright eyes wore growing dim to earthly
sight, yet they had a strange inward light,
us though her . spirit had penetrated the
gloom of the immortal day which shines
with eternal summers in the city of our
God. As 1 stood by her bedside moisten.
ing her lips with water and wiping thee old
dew of death from her Ihrehead, her long
silken eye-lashes were lifted fur a moment,
and fixing her eyes upon me with an expres
sion of earnestness and tenderness, she
said: a.
"Mira, sister, this is death. My weary
feet aro even now treading the brink of the
river that rolls between the other world and
this. Ido not fear to die, 'tis joy unutteras
ble to know that lum almost home. Poor
Atwell! I shall soon meet him again. 'rite
morning of his life was very fair, giving
promiso of a lung and useful day ; but his
stet went down in the meridian, and his own
hand hastened its untimely suttiag. I trust
I may find him in the land to which I am
going. Mira, prottib.o rue that, you will
Ili,VOr marry a man who is not strietly tem
perate, liir intent ieranee is the foundation
of misery. Think how many bright homes
are made tle:iolate by it: Fathers and !milit
ias down itt sorrow to the grave, and
and lit, ellitdreo me made to starer
!;, , 10:itit by ioteteperanee. 0,
Mir% I e , ,,:dd Cor at bi r hal o you die now
yoor ltetlrt pure and free froth sor
row, than have you live:mil, in the long years
to come, find misery and woe in a drunk.
aril's home. Remember pour Atwell, and
f,romise what I wish .
"l promise, and may heaven help me to
keep my secret," I replied. She smiled
and whivered. '`l am going to .detT ;
dear sister." It was a very
Meg ;loud night to me, !Or ere the rising of
the nio nine star, Elsie, my beautiful sister,
had ,a . atie, to meet her God,''
"There was not WIC all my eirele of
Mewl- and minaimances who reftbed wine
is tlw lcstisc balls, and many °ldiom int
bibl' freely of l‘tronger rtimulards. I turn
ed voldly from them all. There was noth
io attract my love, and I could not mar
ry any one of tbk:in and keep my promise to
Ekie. 1 kept my piontimi sacredly unbrok
en, and my coldness to all who whi6pered of
lw.e. won for me the name of 'marble !ga
ted.'
4 11111 came, darling," he aid, drawing
her 11,,irer to hi, ho con.
"Yes till you came; and though I loved
you 11.ntrly, had you drank that glass of wine
1 tihould pare refused to marry you. Olt,
Warren ! you can tie% or know what unutter
able joy I experienced when you refused the
cup I offered y o u."
* - .lfay ltow.en and the spirit of your sweet
sister help we to be mouthy of your love, 14
I t was the happiest hour of thy life, when I
met with Mira, the "tharbledtearted,''" said
lte ,titling.
~Y es, it ~ ; , 1 s hour, and I know by
the swUet C4'iti ormy heart to tii:ht that
the spirit of Ekie upon me for
having so faithfully kept toy pionti..c."
tloy'S Comprtsition on Corns.
Owns are of two kinds. Vegetable corns
grow in rows, and animal cern , crow on toes.
Thole are several kinds ofcorns; there is
unicorn, CUie rn, corn-dnri 4 , field corn
and corn, which is the kind you fool the
most. It is said I be!i ve that gopher, like
corn, but a persou having corns does not
like to “go far." If he can help it. Corns
have kernels and many colonels have corns.
Vegetable corn grows ou ears, but animal
(-an grows on the feet at the other cud of
the hoelywo*Another kiwi of corn is acorn;
these grow on oaks, but them is no hoax
about the corn. The acorn is a corn with
an indefinite article, but the toe corn is a
very definite article indeed. Try it and see,
Many a man, when he has a corn, wishes it
was an acorn. Folks that have corns some•
times send I; , r a, doctor, and if the doctor'
himself is corned he won't probably do so
well as if be isn't. The doctors say that
corns arc ',maimed by tight boots or shoes,
whieh is probably the reason why when a
man is tight they say ha is enraed, a ,
farmer manages well he can get a good deal
of corn on one acre, but I know of a former
that has one coin that makes the biggest
;teller on his form. The bigger the crop of
vegetable corn a 1011 n raises the better he
likes it, but the bigger the crop of animal
coin he raises the better he don't like it.
Another kind of corn is earn dodger. The
way it is made is very simple and is 11111,d0
as follows (that is if you want to know):—
You go along the street and meet a man
that you know has corns and is a rough
character; then you step on the toe that
has the corn on it and sea if you won't have
occasion to dodge. In that way you will
find out what a corn dodger is.
"Mtn did you come hero after?" in
quire(' 3liss Susan Draper ot' a bachelor
friend, who made her a cull when the rest of
the family had gone out.
"I some AO burrow some matches," he
meekly replied.
"31atches ! that is a likely story. Why
don't you make a match? I know what you
same thr," exclaimed the delighted maiden,
as she crowded the old bachelor into a cor•
nor ; "you come to pop the question ; but
you shan't du it unless you can out run me,
and I know you can I"
=I
...A lady being asked for a recipe for
whooping cough, for little twin patients,
copied by mistake something referring to
the piekling of onions, which said: If not
too young, skin them pretty closely; im-
IMMO in madding water ; sprinkle plentifully
with salt, and leave them for a week in
strong brine."
...Indians in Omaha wear paper collars
fastened with a shoestring, because they
have no garment on which to button them.
A Snake In the Grans.
BY JOHN O. SAXE
Come, listen awhile to me, my lad,
Come, listen to me a spell,
Let that terrible drum
For a moment be dumb,
For your uncle is going to tell
What befell
A youth who loved liquor too well.
A clever young man was he, my lad,
And with beauty uncommonly blessed,
Ere with brandy and wine .
ile began to decline,
And behaved like a person possessed;
I p rute-t
The temperance plan is the best.
One evening he went to the tavern, my lad,
Ile went to the tavern one night,
And drinking WO
R 311 , /
The Ong) got exeeekikugly "tigitt,"
And vro,. quite
What your aunt Would entitle a “Irtght."
The ibliow fell into a snooze, my lad;
'l'm a horrible Amber he takes--
lie troubles with fear,
And act:, very . ,ineer ;
My eyes! how he ,I•htt el,and : , bakes
hen he wakes,
And raves about great horrid ,uiko,!
'Ti 4 a warning to you moil to hie, my lad,
A partivular vamiun to ell--
l'hougli no fin eau see
, The viper but be—
To,hear the poor ItuntGe howl.
l I OW they crawl
All over the floor and the wall!"
The next tuorning he took to hip bed, my
lad,
Next morning lie teak to his bed,
And he never got up
To dine or to sup,
Though properly phydekol and bled;
And I read,
Next day the poor fellow UM dead.
You've heard of the snake in the grass, my
lad,
Of the viper concealed in the grass;
But now you mug kno;v
Man's deadliest !he
Is a snake of a ditfCmat class ;
Ald4!
'Tis the viper that lurks in the glass.
Tito Grvrian Ecitd.
To the Editor or the Louisville Courin:
May has got it; the l'aAionable cum.
ture ol thespine, ealled the "Grecian Bend."
She caught it at Saratoga, whore she has
been on exhibition daring the season. She
has returned, however, bringing with her
..everal large trunks full or second hand
clothing—that is garments, which bite has
worn once.
A. I was passing by a dry !matt.; store on
Fourth street, Mary ,Jane was pitching ter
ward at mich a rate 1 thought she was about
f:+11 into my arms. I held out those int
pletocnts of holuAry accordingly. She
fall worth a ent. Regarding not
the example set by our first parents, she
maintained her curvilinear thrtn, and plac
ing the tip of a gloved forefinger on my
outstretched palm, :.,he ?aid in a fitAionable
drawl of a cursed Filth Avenoodle.
".kw, Yubah, it is you? Deloited."
She picked up the infiirmil accent and
language at Saratoga also.
—Why, Jennie dear, this is ati unexpected
pleasure. (till-ailing both the little hands
and riling them up together.) I was not
looking fur you tiir some weeks. You are
ill. lam sorry. Shull 1 assist you to your
carriage?"
She looked somewhat like the half of a
liarenthc:is, but more like an interrogation
point. I was certain ph had been eating
unripe fruit, arid was suffering from cramp
colic, and wondered why she did not go
home and take sinnethirq. But she said:
"Neci;aw was IA tialV in my toile. I was
faweed to leave that sweet. Olive because I
had nothing absolutely to weaw."
"Nothing to wear ! Why, what has be
come of all your clothes? Did you have a
tire or did yin exchange them for flower
vases and plaster of Paris statues of the
maim les ?"
"flaw stupid ! I had wan all my dresses
once, and it's nawt the stoyle to uppeah in
the same apiiawral twoiee."
"Confound the style ! But I ant glad you
carne home, it you came almost naked and
so changed that it is difficult to realize that
it is you. You are among friends now, awl
I hope that you will shortly recover your
figure."
She was marl, and expressed herself quite
naturally and intelligently as follows :
"Friends! I suppose it is the chief duty
of one's friends to find fault with one. I
declare I am tired of friends, and of this
little provincial town where the primitive
manners and styles of the back woods still
prevail. If one goes for a while intosgood
society abroad and returns somewhat civil
ized, ono is sure to incur the jeers and ridii
Dole of the barbarians here. Good morning."
Saying which, he dived into another dry
goods trap, and was soon engaged in tumb
ling and :let:piling the figihionable fabrics
of the hour.
I never saw such a change in a person in
a few short weeks. When I parted with
her at the depot a few short weeks ago, she
was the very picture of health and personi
fication of physical beauty. title was natural
and unaffected, and as tenderly demonstra
tive as she well could ho in a crowd compotr
ed of puiefiestiiitis, who, instead of attend
ing to his business and baggage, thought it
was necessary to Noe me and Mary Ana safely
deposited on the train. It is my belief that
the old gentlemen was afraid that I would
secrete myself somewhere in the car. I wish
now I had.
The energy with which Mary Jane attacked
the dry goods convinced me that 1 wav
wrong in Iriy green fruit supposition, and
that she was suffering from something be
yond the reach of peppermint. I naturally
concluded that it must be that terrible dis
ease known as the spinal complaint, brought
on by carrying too heavy panniers and sup
porting long trails. I forthwith diligently
consulted all the medical works which treat
of' that ailment, and accumulated all the in
formation on the 14000, that I could, by
questioning, extract from the medical pro
fession. With a mind stored with useful
knowledge, and a heart overflowing with
affection, I called to see the little sufferer
with the intention of' imparting to her
gopdly quantity of both.
.She tame into the parlor looking as though
she bad been crimped with curling tongs.—
flow I pitied her. A few \VVek3lir:, she
was as straight as an arrow, and a natural
smile !dived around her los:dmil mouth, in.
stead of that eon ‘trained pucker of pain, as
I then supposed.
"How do you feel now, Jennie dear?" I
said. in my most soothing tones.
"Why, I feel good of eeer.p. (the could
nowt 11.01 otherivi arum having eujawed
the wataw and ~,o eietaw of : . .arateemy."
"I (choir: your fortitude. Jeenic, almost
ON m u ch as I deplore your inislbrtutie, but
you may as well look the di ago.eable filet
in the race at once. is the only way
to obviate it. I assure you it is not so very
bad after all. The doctors say it can be
cured, or so nearly so that with judicious
dressing it will never be noticed. You
know, Jennie, that it will make no differ
ends with me. As long as your heart re
mains the same, no other change can influ
emir
"What are you talking about? Don't
understand you, paresitively."
"Don't be a goose, Mary Jane," (angrily)
"I know that women always. deny that any
thing ails them. They think it is smart.—
But your can't conceal your complaint, anti
considering, our present relations I don't
think you ought to conceal anything from
me."
Mary Jane was getting mad. She has a
vein in her I!)rehead which is an unerring
temper barometer. It began to swell. That,
and an ominous glittering of the eyes, said
as plainly as an almanac, look out for squalls
about Ilk time. She said enor,_etia►lly:
"My complaint ! Our present relations !
Conceal nothing from you! Perhavi you
wilil be good enough to explain yourself,
that is, it' you can."
My temper is not angelic. I never set up
for a saint, and Mary Jane's perversity or
obstinacy, added in her manner, did not
make me in heavenly n frame of mind,
so I blurred out my sentiments as follows :
"Y ~u have a curvature of the spine, as
every one that sees you must know. You
have it very badly, and you ought to do
something for it.. Do, for heaven's sake
send for a doctor and get straight."
You should have seen the little hump
back cuss then. She walked the floor as
erect as a liberty polo. She smiled sardon
ically. She laughed hysterrically. Finally
she cried womanly, and then she found her
tongue—her native tongue. No New York
drawl now, but each word as sharp and in
cisive as a cambric needle.
"Curvature of the spina. Ha! ba! spine,
ha, spine," tin a perfect shriek.) "0, you
provoking fool—there ! I just wish I was a
man for a few minutes!"
"I wish you was a sensible woman."
"Sense ! Well I admire to bear a booby
—that can't tell the Grecian Bend from the
spinal eoluilaint—talk about sell
"Grecian fiddle stick. You don't say
that that awful crook which you had in your
back was the Grecian MIA [a.,:attaing the
florin or a rainbow again.) No lady desires
to look like a ramrod. All the belles of
New York stoop gracefUlly, and leave Ftill
- and straight liue6 to chawbermaids
and country folks."
"f suppoA , it was also from New York
ops and belles that you loarned the art of
alking as though your mouth was full of
hot mush."
Don't you talk about talking. You wl.a
never leave Loui-ville, think its provincial
ism comproniki the proper language, but
it i s tho ling o f your te.gro nurom 1 cannot
stand it, I never Want to hear any mom o r
it. It is my desire that our acquaintanee
even should terminate with this interview."
And the sailed out of the room.
I don't suppose it is any use to speculate
upon the humiliating spectacle to which love
ly women may yet be reduced by fashion.
lam convinced that their fate depends en
tirely upon the whims and caprices of the
fashion-mongers or Paris. The ladies have
never given U 3 any evidence of their desire
to avoid the ridiculous absurd dictates of
fashion is, the more eagerly and implicity
her devoteem follow her. No consideratioas
of heat or of cold, of propriety, of affection
of comfort, or of anything else, can divert
them from the prevailing stylo. If the
Grecian Bend follows the natural law of
fashion, it will gut worse and worse, and it
will not be long until we see our sweet-hearts
with their heads hanging down like howling
devises.
I have taken the porcelain picture of
Mary Jane out of its velvet ease, and that
pretty casket is now vacant. Ber
which is supposed to be engraved upon this
b eat i ng h ear t, haa O i led out, or is grown
over with fht. I have determind never to
marry a woman with hor back up. Others
may do as they please, but if Ido take
a wife; I shall take her as I do my Boor•
bon—straight.
/NBA,
NUMBER 38•
♦lt Sorts of Items.
...It is said a life of President 'Johnson is
being written by Mrs. Ann S. Stephens.
...In Milwaukee they call farness makers
. 'horse
...A boy in Maine recently set fire to a
barn in order to break up a setting hen.
...Three young ladies rnn a foot race at
an lowa fair.
...Mr. GolLghtly saye he likes men of
spirit. Moist or his acquaintances are bar
tender,.
...The chief end of man in his head. It
is sometimes not au over-creditable end to
reach.
...The reason why conscience doesn't
trouble some men is—they haven't got any.
It don't run in some &males at all.
...About the only person that we evor
heard ui that wasn't spoiled by being lion
ized was a Jew named
...Let a youth who stands at a bar with a
glass of liquor in his land consider which
he had better throw away—the liquor or
himself.
...I'rentiee says there are at least forty
lladiesl members of Congress who could
yield their places to "the forty thieves"
without disadvantage to the country.
...Brigham Young thinks he has succeed
ed in giving his theatre a "sacred charac
ter," but regrets that boys will whistle in
the gallery,
...A western editor describes the scene at
a popular lecture thus: "Three thousand
ladies were hanging on the lips of one man."
A pretty strong now that I
..."3ly son, hold up your head and tell
me who was the strongest man?" "Jo
nah." "Why so ?" "Cause the whale
couldn't hold him after he got him down."
...Several families who have spent the
summer at Dumbarton, New Hampshire,
tenmined to admire the woods in autumn,
and on Saturday last took a sleigh-ride, and
had a merry time.
...Sambo Lad been whipped for stealing
his master's onions. One day he brought
in a skunk in his arms and said : Massa,
hero's de chap dat steals de onions! Whow
—smell Lim bref 1"
—"Charley, I was very much shocked to
hear you singing 'Pup goes the Weasel' in
church." "Well, mamma, I heard every
body else singing, and it was the only tune
I know,"
...Never faint when you are alone. Al
ways select some good opportunity—or
young man. The more persons there are
about you, the more successful will be your
6t. A woman should not only Nut well,
but be above suspicion.
...A little girl of three years was saying
her prayers nut long since, when her little
brother, about four years old, came slyly up
behind and pulled her hair. Without mov
ing her head she paused, and said: "Please,
Lord, excuse me a minute, while 1 lick
If erby. "
...A physician was called to see a man in
this town the other day, who on being asked
it he hadn't taken something strange into
his stomach, replied that he believed ho had
"it must have been that glass of water.
Haven't been so imprudent, doctor, for ten
years."
...A Indy whose fondness for generous
living had given her a flushed face and car
bunoled nose, consulted Dr. Cheyne. Upon
surveying herself in the glass she exclaim
ed, "%S here in the name of wonder, doctor s
did I get such a nose?" "Out of the de
canter, madam," replied the doctor.
...The fires in the Oregon woods are a
double calamity. Besides the destruction
of property, they drive the wild beasts into
the t.ettleuient3, where they commit great
ravages.
"rF MAT'S ALL, 1117 tr."—Close to the
Center Oil company thore lives an old chap
who is worth a mint. Ignoraut, of course,
dumb luck has made him rich. lljs amuse
hold pots consist of a terrier dog and stupid
daughter, both of whom engago his atten
tion. The former provided for, he deter
mined to "accomplish" his daughter. To
this end he came to the city. De bought a
piano, and a harp, and a guitar, a car load
of music books, etc., Culling up his busi
ness by engaging a first-eh:A.3 intellectual
and musical tutor, with all of which he
started for the "regions." The documents
were, of course, soon arranged for business.
The tutor set to work anti toiled like a Tro
jan, but with no sueeeis. Despairing ulti
mate triumph, the tutor went to the oil
king and made a clean breast of it.
"Why what the world's the matter?"
asked the iiitha.
“Welt,” I the tutor, "Kitty has
got the g 0.4.611, music and books, and
all that, h.., e,,oseity —.that's all"
by 0.,. I re." erietl the
"it' that's ad, ju.s, bay it. rye
got the stuff, and if money will get it, she
shall have capacity or anytholg
1!:111=91=:1111111111111
Aorten TO YOUNG Diem.--Let tlis hu.i •
twos or every one alone, and attend to your
own. Don't buy what you don't want. i3so
every boar to advantage, and study to make
a loit.nro hour puotot Think twice before
you spend a dollar ; retuetaligt you will have
another to MAO fox , lAA over your
books regularly, ad if nu. find an error
trace it out, Should o si4ll'n of misfortune
come upon you in your buAness, retronah t
work hater, but never fly the track. Con
front difficulties with unflinching power.
&nee, and they will fly at last; then you win
be honored; but ahriuk, and you will be
despised,
_"