VOL. XXXIL
OFFICERS OF COLUMBIA CO.
President Judge—Ron. William Elwell.
1 Associate Judges— Inn Derr,
Peter K. ilerbein.
Proth'y and Cf k of Courts—Jesse Coleman.
Register and Recorder—John G. Freeze.
John F. Fowler,
Commissioners— Montgomery Cole.
{
David Yeager,
Sheriff—Mordecai Millard.
Treasurer—Jacob Yohe.
L. B Rupert,
Auditors— John P.Bannon.
, Jacob lat ris.
.Commissioner's Clerk—Wm. Kriekbaum.
Commissioner's Attornev—K 11. Little.
County
Appraiser—W. If. Jacoby.
Surveyor—lsaac A. Dewitt.
CoroAttroney—Milton M. Trough.
Con:Nor—William J. Ikeler.
C0u71./ Ktiperintendont—Chas. G. Barkley,
A ssesur .:' Ttiternal BOVIMUC..4I F,,Clarli.
( John n`y.
om,
Assistant Assessor— 4 8 . IL Diolnert
i im,".„ 1 41 Mellenry.
Collector—Benjamin P. Badman.
Bloomsburg Literary Institute.
BOARD OP INSTI{CiIii.PN.
HENRI: CARVER, A. M., Principal and
Proprietor,
Professor of Philosophy, &c.
Miss Sarah A. Carver, Preeeptross,
Teacher of French, Botany and Ornamental
Branches.
Isaac 0. Best, A. 8.,
Professor of Ancient Languages.
Charles E. Bice, A. 8.,
Professor of Nlathematies,
F. M. Bates,
Teacher of Bonk-keeling and English
Branches.
Miss Alice M. Carver.
Teacher of Instrumental Music.
rs. --
Teacher of' Vocal Slusic.
Nlks Julia Guest,
Teacher in Primary Department.
Spring term commences April 13th, Istls.
lilonnimburg, March Is. Is6B,
NATIONAL FOUNDRY.
tr ill4 ' .
, i , . HI tooMBBURG, CO
/ \.. -', 7 V Loll M BIA co., PA.
40 „..
ici. . •:- fir •RR subscriber, proprietor
, •, - " - i a el,, In( the Mosso named et.
LI I • I teneive establishment. is now
....,.,,
~„*. il.„ prepared to receit c Willi
-.....e . „ ..." for
All Kinds of Machinery,
fur Colleries. Blast Furnaces, Statinantl Enlitines.
ell 1.10 4 , TIIS EBBING MACHINES, Ste.. &C.
Its is also prepared to make Stoves, all Inte l , and
patterns, p . OW•irfinA, And everything usually made in
fit stectoss Pointdries.
His extensive facilities and practical workmen, war•
rant him in ret....ivitod the largest contracts on the
in tot mifnillatiP terms.
re- Umlaut* all kind* will to taken in exchange for
castings.
Elr This establishment is fumed near the Lackawa
es 4 Bloomsburg Railroad Depot.
PETER BILLMYER.
Bloomsburg, Sept. le, ISSe.
OMNIBUS IN E.
trite Umiefaianed would reapeethilly annuunre to
the citizen,. of Itioutueburg, and the puhlte geu
orally. that he is funning
an OMNIIIES LINE. to.-
tween thistime and the dlr.
&rent Rail Road Depots dot.
ly. (Sundays escorted) to
counsel, with the several Trains Vint South a Vlicat
On the Clatawissa and tYtlliamrport ttail [Wad, and
With (WOW gouty North and South on the Lack, k
Illionnottinm [toad,
His OMN lOU:Seek are in pond condition, Immune
diners and comfortable, Oud chart VP IfrOPOtatte.
(r 7 POll'ooll4 wishiag to meet or aim tp«ir friend,
depart, can he accommodated. upon ienvotialde
charge*, by leaving timely notice ut any of tite tin
talc
JACOB L. GIRTON,
Proprietor,
Bloomsburg, April V, Iro4.
NEW OYSTER SALOON,
in the basement of the
202tENVII T1V0r.1.2
WILTZEK MACKIE, MJI'T.
Fresh ()goer. Revved up in every style and at all
boar. ; with an the other entitle" round in nret
tines neetnerante.
XX Alo conatuntly on hand, together with rimier
Liquors of curry brand.
Everything in tip , tOp order about thin ttatnno.
Nowdyiem not tolerated. step in and And my %loon
in clean neat order.
Sloonteburg. Nov, 13, Isll7,
Coopering ! Coopering
TUC,Ntbecrihnr reopPctfulli aunoun tea that he is
prepared to meedreetere
BARRELS, TUBS,
um%
f% l n 4, i:71'.4
BUCKETS, (11URNS,
everything in the line of Coopering.
REPAIRING PONE TO ORDER
end ut short Home. p'7 2 Hla shop is Incet.d on
Main Street, Bloomsburg, near the Iron Company's
railroad. M. S. WILLIAMS.
Illounishorg, April 24. Idtia.
ziw *Awls P.
The undersigned respectfully announce* that he
has refitted a *hop, one drew below Mayers Drug
Store, in the Exchange Moth. where he is prepored
to conduct the barbering hu•inesr In all its branches,
The art of coloring whisker* and moustacbos in
practiced by hint must skillfully. He also then*
*tithing. rushing them look nearly as soothe new.
upon the most reasonable terms. Having procured
the services of a faohlowdole hair dresser he is pre
pared to vied:familiar In pewee where it is desirable
to put ep or cut hair upon reasonable terms
LP" Hair Tonic of the very best quslity, used for
thiamin hair, kept cottatrotty on heed, tiltdrir pale.
the, cowrie.
lOtootneburt, April IPId,
LATELY OPENED.
TEE undersigned would respectfully Warm the
citizens of Bloomsburg and vicinity, that he Imo just
opened *Pimp on iron RifPet, h0W(1491 Mail! and
Third, where he will follow the cabinet making bus
Watts iu all its brunches. Orders for
Dietetic or Other Collin',
filled with wagoners and despatch.'iltepelra dump.
iy made to all kind' of forniture, lomuding the in
plalll.ll of eantebutionied enmity.l
up.h..v.iv....Ai, noble,
and sofa bottom rhalre. Patterne for em.tinge 1111Ido
neatly and expedltiouely, and ordure NO Riiirited
either In pereon Of by mull. Picture (mines out& to
order at alum nutlet%
llORcfir ROAN.
ilentnebori, April la.
04 1%, IntIEGIM7 D
surgeon Dentist,
Eatriets teeth without pain by a flaw method. It
isperructly hund•la and is now tried
with pond ellefrlPP. All branches of
Dentiatry attended to In the Wiest
, 0 gad mop% approved style,
ar.m. lic e and adieu, oils door vast of Evans'
Clothing glom illornissburg, Nur. 13, 1867.
• WEN HOUSE.
BERWIUK, PA.
T. Bent. Taylor, Proprietor,
The proprietor begs leave, to inform the pnblic tlmt
be bee taken chary of tine well known tiostee,
width Is.. of lots ongtorgrote Is fumpleke retinae in
both its exterior MIA Interior appeerinee, maims
the Homo, in every reep. , et more mottfonehle aid
Wilting to this traveling Mobile as wet as He mow
pats Geese. The present proprietor evil I Pietro rt
palms to sootiest* this limos whet It he sea, vie
A well conducted Illumee of entettall for le
lovelies public and oh others whose huoleeso Irene
idioms Duel wade them gueriv. (April is, teed,
BLOOMSB., D
,
."-
,N • • .
: J
Illeomobtog iftmocut.
immix WiIIONEADAY IN
111.0031SUU110, PA., DT
WILLIADINON 11. JACOBY.
TEIIOIII.-1112 00 In advance. If not paid within
SIX MONITIIet. S 6 cent* additional will no I aread•
OT No paper diacontinned until all art amps
are paid except at the option of the editor.
RAM OUDVKRTISINii.
lie 1.111111 edMITITOTII & Wile.
One square nne or three Insertions ..$1 00
Every aubirequent insertion lees toanl3.. . 30
MOO. In. Q. Ms. On. Ix.
One slunre, LOU I 3AIO 4,00 &0O
Two 'genres, 3,00 I 3,00 11,00 o,oe
Three " 3,00 I 7,00 0.30 1",110
Pour surourre, 0.00 1 04,00 10,410 14,00
Half eolnirm,l 10.00 I 10.00 14.00 MOO
One column, I 13.00 I 1 e.uu 00,00 30,00
Ezscotor's and Administrator's Notice. 3On
Auditor's Notice. 220
Other advertisements inserted according to special
contract.
Huelnere poticep, without adyertionuient, twenty.
cents per line.
Tfanal.nt advertisements payable In &thence all
others doe after the hest insertion.
-*•-/tow 'on
i . fl golly" how my dander riz,
Vou scallawags, I cries,
Awl now de wonder to me is,
I did not black dere isv.
For I was disappointed
so—
I hate he played do Awl,
I did not want de land, you know,
But, 0 do blessed 3lule.
Now from dis
_place myself I tote—
But to you I declare,
Hat next November I will vote
For Semore and for Blare,
I'll 'cite de nigger party now,
He Democrats way rule,
I'll seek old mastic' anyhow—
He'll let the ride his Mule.
W IRT Ili: Tu t ill A few days since,
says a 3lichigais paper, a specimen of hu
manity, chock full of fashionable drink,
took a seat in the express train at Jackson
and quietly waited the advent of the con
ductor, who appeared un time, and relieved
the traveler's but of his ticket without any
rental ks. On his 'alum the traveler but
tonholed him and inquired :
"Conductor how far is it to 'Neon?"
"Twenty miles,"
'That's what I tho't."
At the next station the traveler stopped
him, and again inquired—
" Conductor, how far is it to Maneh'ter ?"
"Twenty miles."
"That's what I tho't."
At Manchester the traveler stopped him
the third time, and said—
" Conductor, how fur is it to Tecumsy?"
"Twenty miles."
"That's what I tho't."
As the train left Tecumseh, the traveler
exhausted the patience of the conductor,
and the following dialogue explains the re
sult :
"Conductor, how far is it to Adri'n?"
The conductor throw himself upon his
dignity and remarked—
" See hero, any friend, do you take mo for
a fool?"
The traveler 'stuck to his text,' and very
000lly remarked—
" That's what I tho't."
The conductor joined the passengers in a
hearty laugh, and concluded to let his pas
senger to tho't 148 he pleased.
...Christianity is altogether in the oseond•
ant at Madagascar, the new Queen having
abolished idol worship and openly declared
her contempt for the idols and their priests.
It is not known whether she has personally
espoused Christianity, but she tolerates it
so fully that most of' the principal chiefs
and their fatnilica have embraced it, and the
Christian churches cannot contain the
crowds who flock to bear the gospel.
...Seymour and Liberty, Grant and Der •
potion), Choose ye.
For the Democrat."
De Mule.
By' ;PETRO.
I's a handsome nigger boy
As eber you did see,
And I have needed no employ—
Since Linkum sot me free.
De liuro fed and clothed me some,
I went tree months to school—
But I had radder star at home
And ride upon de ;Slule.
I tried to steal one, 'lnt no go,
De owner watched so keen,
And if 1 had a mule, you know,
I wanted to be seen.
So I went to Soul Curlina, wbero
De niggers rote by rule,
And get de forty acres, dare,
Beside a splendid Mule.
I called on I3rudder Carpetbag,
lie was so berry line,
And den on 51r. Scallawag,
Ile a-led me in to 1111/0.
De I vias in clobcr,
l)ey put me on to roll,
Anil soon do lection ober,
I get du splendid )iule.
I went to de leetion,
And dare I hound to stay,
And dere bent no oljeetion,
I vote tree times a day.
You ask me who I voted for ?
Dig darkey am no fool,
Why elAny time I voted sure,
1 voted fur de Mule.
But when de leetion ended,
I Wil s so berry glad,
On ole llruddtw L attended,
/eyk.vok 'nod ,
tared we What I wanted,
1 tought dm berry cool,
I atowered noting wonted,
Ju.4 hand along dot Mule.
Dey strutted like n ginny lien,
And looked so berry wise,
I told dens dat no oiliest men
Would tell sueh unimin
Do , sed dey goin to Congress now,
hey had Hu time to 11)4
Ali!' I might to de debbil go,
And dare [ get de Mule.
BLOOMSBTJRG, PA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21,1868.
DIXIE.
A Little Story by Brick Pomeroy
Yesterday, coming out from dinner, on
my way to the office, I saw on the street a
one-armed soldier, lie was a Republican,
ho told me, seven years ago. I asked Lim
how be lost his arm ; ho said fighting at
Cold Harbor. I asked him how he got
along now ; he said not very well. He had
a hand•organ that be was carrying. He
was procuring the moans of subsistanco for
himself, wife, and two children. I walked
along with him to the front of my office,
and asked him to give me a tune. Ho had
been a soldier ; he had fought to save the
country ; he was a white man, and! thought
be was a friend of music. He dropped the
band•organ on its stick, and I saw on the
top of it a piece of paper, which read that
Charles Smith had paid the United States
ten dollars for the privilege of grinding
this organ one year from the• 13th of last
May.
I asked him if be had paid that license,
and he replied that he had.
"Did you fight to save your country ?"
"I did, sir,"
"Did you lose your arm in battle?"
4 , les. sir."
"Did you say you were a Republican when
you went into the army?"
10.00
1400
I 0 00
00.00
90.00
GU4O
"I W 33 ."
"Are you a Republican now?"
"No, bit."
And he swore. I presume he learned
it in the army of Ben Wade. [Laughter.]
"Give us a tune, and I'll pay you for it."
Ile commenced grinding out of that poor
and very dilapidated organ that beautiful
tune,"Away down South in Dixie." I like
that tune. I stood and listened to it. and
dropped into his organ what few pennies 1
had. *aid play it again. Ile played it
once more.
'Do you my you were a soldier?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you paid a licen43?"
"I have."
"What will you take to stand in front of
my office evey day this week from one
o'clock till four'?"
"1 will play it for two► dallars per day."
I said, that's all right. You are a soldier.
I like you better because you are a Demo
crat. I like you still better bevause you
were u Republican, and are honest enough
to see that you were wrong. I will give
you the two dollars. He seated himself'
upon the curbstone in front of my office,
and titr a ha;l' hour while I stand iu my
office door laughing, he wax:grinding "Away
down South in Dixie." It was a very nice
little tune. An old gentleman came along
and says, "when are you going to change
that?" Ile said, "I don t know. That
gentleman has hired me to play this one
tune." in the sante building that I ant, the
gentleman of whom I hire the prwnises
has an offiee. In a short time, look
lug out of the window he saw a crowd
there. He came down and told this tallow
to "Move on, or you will attract a crowd.
You are getting up a nuisance." Ile said,
"1 cannot move on. I um hired to stay
here." -Who hired you ?'"lhis
that runs this newspaper here." "I don't
want you to play here. You are a nuisance,
Move on." cannot, I will lose my wages."
"Play some other,tune then." "No, it is in
the contract that I play;this one tune," and
he kept playing away. The gentleman went
up stairs, and in a few minutes eame.down
again. Ile spoke to one of my clerks, and
said, ''l wish you would get an order for
this man to leave." ;The clerk replied,
can't do it. If I order hint away, I lose
my place." "Po you mean to say that Mr.
Pomeroy has him' this fellow to play this
tune all day ?" "Yes, sir, and every day
for a week." 'Laughter.] "Do you think
Pomeroy would maintain a nuisance'?" "I
don't know anything about that ; but. if Mr.
Pomeroy has told that soldier he will main :
rasa him playing Dixie thr a week, you may
bet your bottom dollar he will do it."—
[Laughter. The third time he came down
and maid, "I want you to move away from
the front of this building. 1 heard the re
mark and said to him, "Hold on ; I rent the
half of this building ?" "Yes, sir." "This
half is mine?" "Yes, sir." "'Thin man Ills
a right to play this tune in front of my hall:"
"I don't like the tune. Let him play some
other tune." "No; I want that one tune
played. It suits me. Mr. Lincoln said it
was the best` tune ever 1Y33 invented."—
[treat laughter.]
"That soldier," said he, "cannot stay
there." Said I, "He can stay there. That
soldier was a Republican soldier. Ile went
into the army and fought,. He went there
to save the country. Ho lost an arm at
Cold Harbor. lie has returned to his home
He finds his wife and children in want.
lie pays ten dollars a year license for the
privilege of grinding this rickety old hand
organ. That license goes to make up a
revenue, which goes into the pocket of your
bondholders. [Applauv.] That soldier
fought for his liberty, he is having it now.
I want him to stand right hero and play
this tune every day this week. lam going
into the country to talk to the workingmen,
the Democracy, and I want him to stay
right here, and play every day, and this
same tune." "Will not some other tune do?"
"No, I want this tune to remind the work
ingmen of New York, who pass by here
every day, that 'Away down South in Dixie'
are carpet-baggers, lazy niggers and freed
men's bureaus, a great big standing army
that the workingmen of the North are labor
ing day after day to support, at war upon
the receipts and interests of the North, as
they aro at war upon the husbandry of the
South. I want him to play that same tune,
in order that the people of the North may
know where their wow y has gone to. 110
is going to play here, gal if you molest him
I will mash your head for you." [Great
laughter.] I left the office at five minutes
before four yesterday, and ho stood there
grinding, "Away down South in Dixie."
I am going to hire hint to grind all neat
week. Still it is not pleasant music for the
bondholder. I know it is not nice, but they
have given us a little .xsuble, and this is
one of the ways in whlah I propose to have
my share of revenge woe them. I have
no doubt the New VosPetin, the paper in
which this gentleman 4s interested, came
out this morning and raid I was a traitor.
Nell, like as not. There a good many trai
tors. [Applause,] Traitors to the Repub
lican party, traitors to th I*3 who have rob
bed thorn of their interests; there are many
of these traitors coming from the ranks of
the enemy and joining our ranks.
What'', the Matter. With That
4 0
Snyder kept a beer saloon some years ago
"over the Rhine." Snyder was a ponderous
Teuton of very irascible temper—sudden
and quick in quarrel—get mad in a minute.
Nevertheless his saloon was a great resort
for the boys— partly because of the excel
lence or his beer, and partly because they
liked to dare "old Snyder" us they called
him ; for although his bark was milk, ex
perience bad taught them that be wouldn't
bite.
One day Snyder was missing, and: it Was
explained by his "frau," who "jerked the
beer" that day, that he had "gone out fish
ing mit ter goys."' The next day one of the
boys who was particularly fond of roasting
old Snyder, dropped in to get a glass of
beer, and discovered Snyder's nose, which
was a big one at any time, swollen and blis
tered by the sun, until it looked like a dead
ripe tomato.
"Why, Snyder, wild' the matter with
your nose ?" said the ea::er,
pe t n out fishing mit der pop," replied
Snyder, laying his finger tenderly against
his proboscis, "de sun it peso hot like ash
der 61'01, unt I p u rns my nose. Nice nose,
dont it ?" And Snyder viewed it with a look
of comical sadness in the little mirror back
of his bar. It entered at ones into the head
of the misehevions ftLl in in front of the
bror to play ,
su he went
out and called half udozon of his comrades,
with when' he offence(' that they should
drop in at the saloon ono after another and
usk Snyder "what's the matter with that
nose ?" to see how lung he would stand it.
The man who put up the job went in first
with a companion, and seating themselves
at a table called far beer. Snyder brought
it to them, and the new comer exclaimed
as he saw him: "Snyder what's the matter
with your nose?"
"I yust dell your friend here I peen out
fishing mit ter boys, unt de sun he purnt
'em—zwi lager—den cents all right."
Another boy rushes in. "Iloilo, boys,
you're ahead of' me this time, 'spose I'm in
though. Ilere, Snyder, bring me a glass of
huger and a pret--(appears to catch a sudden
glimps of Snyder's nose, looks ..vonderingly
a moment, and then bursts out laughing)—
ha! ha ! ha ! Why, Snyder,-Ita-ha!
what's the matter with that nose?"
Snyder, of course, eaq't see any fun in
having a burnt nose, or having it laughed
at, and he says, in a tom) sternly emphatic:
"I've peen out fishill' mit der goys unt de
sun yust so hot like ash der tifel, unt I purnt
my nose; dat ish all right."
Another tormenter comes'l in, - and insists
on "setting 'ent up" for the whole house,
"Snyder," says he, "(ill up the boys glasses
and take a drink yourself—ho ! ho I Ito 1 ha!
ha! ha ! Snyder, what's the matter with
that nose?"
Snyder's brow darkens with wrath by
thin time, and his voice grows deeper and
sterner--"I peen out fis'iin wit der poys on
der levtle Miami. The sun peso hot like as
hail, out I burn my bugle. Now, dat is
more vot I don't got to say. Vot Kind
pesens? That is all right: I purn my own
nose, don ' t it?"
"Burn your nose—burn all the hair off
your head Air what I care; you needn't get
mad about it.
It VMS evident that Soler wouldn't stand
more than one more tweik at that nose, for
he was tramping about behind his bar and
growling like an elaspirated old bear in his
cage. Another of his lormauters walked
in. Some one sings out to him, "Have a
glass of beer, Billy ?"
"Don't care about an! beer," says Billy,
"but Snyder, you way gve me one of your
best cigars—awn-a I ha' ha ho ho I ho
he I ha-ha-ha I Why—thy, Snyder, Watt's
the matter with that nom ?"
Snyder was absolutely fearful to behold
by that time, his face was purple with rage,
all except his name, whirl glowed like a ball
of fire. Leaning his poiderous figure far
over the bar, and raising his arms aloft to
emphasise his words witkit,Ao fairly roar•
:
"I've peen out fishin nit tor boys. The
sun it peso hot like as hail•tamnation. I
purnt my nose. Now yot no like dose nose,
you yust take dose nose nit wr-wr.wr•wrtng
your tam American bp wit em I That's
the kind of man rot I gull,
And Snyder was right..
...Tbo ladies who wiehto assume the po•
eition given the form by be sUrocian Bend'
aro informed that the oiling of a tow green
apples, an ear of corn Ed a cucumber, will
have the desired effect..
Alcohol Nature and Effects
Alcohol is a product of putrefaction. It
is to liquids what carrion is to moat. It be
gins with the death of the grain ; it ends in
the death of the drinker. All process of
distillution!aro forms of decay and death.—
This alcohol, thus obtained by abnormal
processes, is the intozicating'element' in all
intoxicating': drinks. The chief difference
between beer and whiskey is in the percent
age of alcohol. We are told that it is the
abuse, 'not the use, of alcoholic , drink!:
against which we should guard the com
munity. Or anted. The question gill re•
mains: Whet,is the tise:of,looliolil
It certainly is not food. The experiments
of Messrs. Lallemend, Perin, and Duro
d emonstrate that beyond peradventure. It
passes:out of the stomach in the same con
dition in which it entered—unessiminated,
a foreign substance. The body cant make
out of it neither bone nor sinew, nor muscle,
nor blood, nor:flesh. It hates to rid itself
of the thunder. Part is carried:to the kid
neys, where it is the prolific cause of Bright's
disease. Perils carried to the skin, which,
irritated by its presence, breaks out in boils
and blotches. Every part of the body be
comes impregnated with it. The toper is
called rightly an old soaker."
The first effect of alcohol is thus to spur
the system up to strenuous efforts to oast
out its foe. It stimulates. It does not,
cannot strengthen. It is never truly a tonic.
But, if it promotes' some activities, it de
lays others. The excretory organs are
so busy getting rid of this intruder that
they are prevented from pursuing their legit
imate business. The old, effect, worn•out
tissues, therefore, remain. Men drink to
gain flesh. This flesh of the toper is carrion.
Alcohol never makes new flesh nor new
muscle. It simply hinders waste, and so
forbids repair. This is itsrsecond effect.—
But, as all men know, its chief effect is on
the brain. Every poison has its special of
finity. That of alcohol is for the nervous
system. But it is the base and not the top
of the brain it stimulates. It paralyzes the
will. It dethrones the reason. It vivitates
the affections. It gives predominance to
the brute. A drunkard is like a great city
under the law of the mob.
Such are the effects of alcohol in its best
estate. But alcohol in its best estate is a
rarity. Strychnine, atrau►onium, belladon
na, tobacco, cocculus, and orient are all
employed t;► cheapen and to strengtheNit.
Adulteration is universal Dr. Hiram Cox,
chemical inspector of Ohio in 1855, after
an analysis of the products of six hundred
different stores, reported over thirty per
cent. adulterated. Sulphuric acid, red pep
per, pelitory, caustic, potash, bruciue, and
strychnine were among the articles used for
adulteration. Let no man think that his
liquor is pure because he got it directly from
custom house. Tho merchants of' Oporto
ship yearly five times as much wine as is
produced in the Douro Valley. One drug
house in London last year sold to one liquor
firm in that city more strychnine than the
whole medical profession of the city would
require in the same time. St. Louis and
Chicago alone sell nearly us much California
wine as the whole Pacific coast produces.
Of these liquors—distilled, brewed and vin
ous—we are consuming in the United States
five hundred and forty million gallons per
year; or nearly twenty gallons to every man,
woman and child. We have a drinking sa
loon to every three hundred inhabitants.
And we employ in the making and sale of
these drugs, three hundred and thirty-five
thousand workmen. This, in brief, is the
liquor traffic in the United Status. Its re
sults in disease, crime, taxation, and men
tal and moral disorder cannot be summed
up iu statistics nor given in half=a•column
epitome.
A MAN WITH A, CHARMED LIFL—AII
great cities are full of strange characters,
but at present New Oeleana excels in this
respect. Living here is an individual whose
remarkable career is almost without a par
allel in the annals of romance. lie was
born in Indiana, and is now about forty
years of age. Ilia name is Edward Caruth
ers. Being engaged in a personal difficulty
with a man named Simpson, at Madison, in
the lull of 1846, he killed his antagonist and
fled to the American army, then entering
Mexico. At the battle of Chapultepec he
was taken priboner, and laid for months in
a Mexican dungeon. Being released at
lust he married a Spanish girl, and settled
on the Bio Grande. Here being attacked
by the Indians, himself and family were
carried into captivity, where ho again spent
two years. Effecting his escape ho joined
a ranger company, and was shot in a fight
with the Cement:hes, scalped, and left for
dead. Ho however recovered, and joined
the Walker expedition to Nicaragua, where
he was wounded, captured, and again im
prisoned ; but being released he sailed for
the United States. The vessel he was in
was wrecked, and he barely escaped with
his life. Ile was ono of the passengers on
the ill-fated Evening Star, and again es
caped death where ao many perished. He
is now a resident of this city, and delights
in relating adventures which are certainly
remarkably to a last degree.—New Orkuna
Picayune,
...Two girls driving a buggy on a plank
road in Indiana were stopped and asked for
toll. "How much is it?" "For aMO and
horse," replied the gatekeeper, "the charge
is fifty cents." "Well then get out of the
way, for we are two girls and a mare. Git
up Jenny I" and away thigt went, losting
the man in mute natouishment.
A Colored Orator.
Could General Grant have been present
at the late Mack Radical demonstration in
this city in honor of him and his partner,
Coilk:, be would have thrown away his w
ear, broken the "grand" silence and brayed
the bray of surprise, horror and Wigan.
Lion.
On an elevated platform, erected in one
of our principal thoroughfares, were gath
ered a crowd of cornfield negroes, surround
ed by transparencies scrawled over with pot
hook letters and heads of wen and beasts—
the latter representing the Radical leaders
and the forint:4l4/k. ieratic.
Everything beiniWreaditiess for the es
hibition, a pompons old darkey came for
ward on the stage, bowing low to the audi
ence, while with the great toe nail of his
right timt be scraped a plank from the stage.
We have always thought that negro min
strels made an unjust and cruel burlesque of
the character they represent, but there was
an old darkey that any one who has ever
seen Bryant's minstrels would be convinced
was one of them escaped from the troupe.
Ilis wool stuck out on each side of his head
like the sails of a schooner running before
the wind. He wore an old thread-bare blue
coat, adorned with brass buttons, and bind
ing so tightly on the arms that the latter
members hung off from his body at an angle
of furty-five degrees. A huge paper collar
doubled up his ears and forced him to walk
on tiptoe.
Hu was received with "immense ap
plause," particularly by the Democrats who
attended in largo numbers, in anticipation
of fun :
"Feller citysons," he began, "I rises to
dress you dis ebenin on do half of Grant
and Coldllax. We hab rites as brack men
and rites as white men, fur the Bible sez
dar's stars ob one glory and stars ob anuder
glory. Wu hab rites, brudders, and feller
critters, and Grant and Cobltracka gin a,
rites, (applause), and day gwiee to gin us
more rites. (Immense applause.) Dose
rites we got way ober yonder out side de con
stitution oh de :Cited State:, and de decla
mation oh de penitentiary, and whar's:de
brack man emu gwine hele to le , rites ?
(Sensation. ) I peat.. whee', de b.:LA man
gwine to gin up he rites and tote de Dem
ocrakic ticket? (Applause.)
Bruddors, all I know is I'm free an"..got
rites, an I want to tell you all dat what de
Taw., say about ~t4'.,;cig de predilec
tion iu one ob my futurirAtions bea'ote de
people 'sembled iu open conversation under
the atmospheric pressure ob do Rabid-all
party at de last meeting—all dey all all's
Tribune say . lowit my constabulation oh de
fact dat do ravens oh God would feel de
nigger what been charged wid wuk for wo
tin' de Rabid-all ticket—do saute as dey
feed King Solomon in all he glory in de top
ob do Rocky Mountains—l say (here the
speaker raised his left foot aloft, bent his
body forward, and bringing his elbow to
within a few inches of the railing before
him, beat the air slowly with his right fist)
I say dat what de Tribune say 'bout what I
say 'bout de panoply oh de ravens is a—a—
a regular what you call 'cm! (Great ap
plause.)
But, brudders, I does say—i does say, and
I'll reinstate what I say, I does say dat God
will feed his brack people charged wid wuk.
(Thunders of applause, amid which the
speaker gracefully retired, his paper collar
entirely gone, and immense rips iu his coat
immediately under his arm pits.)—...llbUk
Tribune.
Cannon and Small Arms
Have been furnished by the State authori
ties to the Grand Artny of the Republic and
the Union League; political organisations,
under the pretence that they have conform
ed to the militia laws and are military or
gunizations-
Was ever a free people subjected to a
greater outrage?
Their operations are all secret.
Who ever taw them parade in public, as
military companies, battalions, or regiments?
Who are their commanders, who are the
rank and file?
These are questions the people have a
right to have liiirly and spiarely answered.
Jordan's letter stating that none but
military organizations have been furnished
with arms, is not enough.
It evades the point.
It blinks the question.
We have reason to believe that the politi
cal organization known as the Grand Army
of the Republic, and another similar organ
ization, known as the Loyal League, have,
to some extent at least, been itiruished with
arms.
Now we want to know by what right they
have been so furnished.
By what right the State authorities have
placed arms in the hands of these appar
ently were political organizations?
Outside their own secret lodges they are
not known as military organizations.
Is it so, today, in Pennsylvania, that law
permits the arming of secret bands?
We want Mr. Jordon or Mr. Adjutant
General M'Cleary to explain this.
If it is so, that the secret political organi
zations of the Radical party are armed by
the State authorities, it is high time the
Democrats should know it, and prepare to
meet the crisis which such a fad would indi•
eats that their political opponents intend to
bring about.
Be watchful, Democrats;
Do wakeful t►nd vigilant; and, as we
marked the tither day, it you have 1111119,
keep them ; if you have not, get them.—
Remaly', Rork.
gijo I II 01
All 'onto of Items,
...lf a num is given to liquor, let not
liquor be given to him,
...A lazy farmer is virtually dead, and his
farm wears weeds of mourning for him.
...A glass young men ought to break—the
beor glum.
...During the lad, twenty-five yearn the
Odd Follows have educated 25,000 children
in this country.
...Ono of the Grant electors in Alabama
is an ex:confederate captain who took the
oath never to take ariooner
A
...Thu Chicago Journal complaks of the
scarcity of el and $2. bills. Over this way
they are not as scarce as ssos.
—Those gentlemen who road thatEneke's
comet is now visible through a glass, should
remember that it is not visible through a
glass of whisky.
...If une extreme doesn't prevail another
is sure to. The waterfall has simply gone
down to the Grecian bend. The ladies are
bound to stick out on something.
...A learned Hoboken clergyman recently
said : "One of the commonest and most
conclusive proofs that man is made of clay
is the brick so often found in his hat."
Flesh•colored gaiters, with the toes
stitched with black, to look as if the foot
was bare, are reported to be the newest
mode. They are said to have a shockingly
natural effect.
...It is said that John A. Ilinghtun, the
Ohio impeacher, weeps profusely every
time he makes a stump speech. Ile prob
ably recollects that he was the chief mur•
ilerer of Mrs. Surratt.
...A semi-sober man, while sitting on the
railroad track a few days since, was struck
by the passing train and pitched into a ditch.
Upon the train's backing up to ascertain its
injuries, he came forward and told the con
ductor that if he had damaged the engine
any he was ready to settle for it I
...A supposed dead man was lying in his
coffin at Norfolk, Vu., while the pall.bear
ere were taking a brandy julep, preparatory
to starting to the grave, when he made such
a noise that the coffin was opened, and he
a.toliiNtted the group by rising and calling
fur a julep. Ho said he had been in a
trance, and knew all that was passing; but
till he heard the glasses click couldn't mus
ter sufficient energy to break the thraldom
on which he lay.
Impudent Knaves
The affected horror at alleged naturaliza
tion frauds exhibited by Radical journals
might lead an unsophisticated person to
suppose that these pure and pious party or
gans do not sanction any violation of law to
accomplish political objects. They suppose
that the rank and file of their party are so
stupid that they never think of the fact that
every important act of their leaders, since
the close of the war, has been a flagrant and
inexcusable violation of' the supreme law of
the land ; and that the power and plunde r
they arc now exulting in they could not have
but for their notoriously lawless acts. They
have disfranchised all the most intelligent
men of the South without a shadow of law
ful authority for the outrage, and they have
carried sham elections by means of some
seven hundred thousand illegal negro votes
in that part of the country.
In the North they could not wry a sin
gle State but for the power of their money,
and no one who is not as blind as a mole can
fail to see the enormous villainy they have
perpetrated in allowing eighteen hundred
national banksto use three hundred millions
of' government funds without interest, thus
robbing the national treasury of eighteen
million dollars in gold every year to keep at
work the most monstrous political machine
ry ever set in motion•
If all unfair influences and all oppression
were removed, not a tenth part of the peo
ple could be induced to vote for the support
of Radical scoundrelism, and the destruc
tion of the constitutional rights of the peo
ple.
I=LIN
" WHAT noise is that?" said Mrs. Part
ington to Ike, as that hopeful was looking
through the window at a crowd collected
one evening in front of his mother's hum
ble dwelling. "They are giving three cheers
to the newly-married folks across the way,"
Was the answer. "Only three cheers?"
said the widow, as her mind darted back to
the opening of' her ewn married lifb ; "only
three cheers! It seems to we they make a
great fuss about such a little thing. Why,
sakes alive, I had half a dozen when I was
married to your father, Isaac, and he bought
p.ix more at auction when we went to house
keeping. I don't see bow they can get
along with only three; but it is always well
to begin In a small way." Ike gave a most
unfilial snicker; but the widow was too
deeply absorbed in tho memory of other
days to heed the ungracious act of her son.
)lAnnY.—Never marry because people
advise you to. It is your business not theirs.
If you don't feel that you want a wife Of
a husband, as the case way be, it is pretty
certain there is no baste in the matter.-
I)ou't go into the water unless you feel as
though you would like to get wet. Advico
in this matter is almost always suspicious.
&tams° some father or mother has a daugh
ter it is no reason you ,liould take her.—
Their wish is not law of duty to you. Time
enough when your heart raps loudly to be
let out in order to exchange illaccb with
another in like condition. About that time
you can mud word to the payun, and order
tic. cake.