VOL, XXXII.
OFFICERS OF COLVMDIA CO.
l'resideut Judge—Hon. William Elwell.
Am
ociate Judges— {
Peter
K. /err
llerbein.
Protley and Crk of Courts—Jesse Coldibik.
Register and Recorder—John 0. Freese.
John F. Fowler,
r.,ommissioners— 'Montgomery Cole.
David Yeager,
Sheriff—Mcgdecod
Trourardr—Viital)
13 Rupert,
Auditors— John P. Mennen.
Jacob Hanle.
,Commissioner'n Clerk—Wm. Krickbaum.
Commissioner's Attonmy—E IL Little.
demantile Appraiser—W, IL Jacoby.
.County Surveyor—lsaac A. Dewitt.
District Attroney—Milton M. Traugh.
Coroner—Williani J. Ikelcr.
County Superintendent—Chu. (1. Barkley,
Assesors Interest Reyepue—R. F. Clark.
John Thomas,
Assistant Assessor— i S. B. Diener,
I Daniel ;McHenry.
Coilector—Benjamin F. Hartman.
filleionaaksorg Lilitisrary Institute,
BOARD OF INSTRUCTION.
HENRY CARVER, A. M., Principal and
Proprietor,
'Professor of Philosophy, &c.
Airs Sarah A. Carver, Preceptress,
'Teacher of French, Botany and Ornamental
Branches.
Isaac 0. Best, A. 8.,
Professorof Ancient Languages.
Charles E. Rice, A. 8.,
Professor of Mathematics,
F. M. Bates,
Teacher of Bonk-keeping and English
Branches.
Miss Alice M. Carver.
Teacher of Instrumental Music.
Mrs.--,
Teacher of Vocal Music.
Miss Julia Guest,
Teacher in Primary Department.
Spring term commences April 13th, 1868.
Bloomsburg, March 113. 186$.
NATIONAL FOUNDRY.
BLOOMSBURG CO.
LUMBIA CO., PA
•
l 'ersintl i T y
•
ml wish's establishment, is *ow
r epuod to receive order
or
AU Kiads of Mackleery,
Gar Coßalm Plot Furnace'. letatielialY login&
MILLS, TIIPBBIIINO MACHINES, 4C.. &C.
Ds to also prepared to make Stumm all vises mud
patterns. plow.lrons, and everything useally made le
first-class Ifonadrice.
Nis "Menelve taillike mad practical wortmen, war.
rant him in receiving the largest contracts oa tbu
mist resolvable tame.
ar than of all kinds will be taken ie excblege Bar
eating".
la This astablishoisat Is locoed near the Latimer&
ea it Bloomsburg Bellroad Depot.
MBA BILLMTBIL
eloomalturg, Rapt. IL 10113.
NEW RESTAURANT,
Is BMus's Building, as 11lain Stmt.
WM, GILOAORE.,
Infants the citizens of Bloarasbarg and vicinity t►ai
la. opened a New
RESTAURANT,
• this place, where he invites hi, old Monde mad
e•stomets tooth and partake of his rerforhaionte.—
It is his Intention to loop the beet
LAGER BEER AND ALE,
constantly on hand ; Ale+, Porter, Parsaparilla. lla
oral Water, Fancy Lemonades. Raspberry and Lens
or Syrups, uta always be bad at his Restaurant.
In the 'atlas Hoe he prevents a
2214 ON rain
not surpassed in this place ; Milled Omen
Clouts,rdiuee.
Clouts, rdirtee. Fish, Barbecued ChPicea, Pickle'
Tripe and Beef Taupe, /cc., Inc He ilea has a goo(
article of
Cigars and chewenq Tobacco
for hie climininero. rr (livr himß .11.
Bloomsburg, June 13, lenb.
OMNIBUS LINE.
TllO underaigned would respectfully anootioce to
the citizen., of Illoolumburg, and the public gen.
'telly. that be is running
an WIN/11178 LINE. •
torten MosWV lied the dot. .:.‘
toren; Rail Road Depot. du. .41
ly, (Sundays ezorpted) to
!MIAMI with the several Trains going !Muth a West
on the eagerness and Williamsport nail Road, and
with those golag North and duutb on the Loeb,
Bloomsburg load,
MeONNlßUtittEll are In good condltioa, toommo.
dittos tad comfortable, and thereto reasonable.
13:7* Persons wl ebli pi to meet or see Ogle (needs
depart. can be accommodated. upon ream/noble
charges, by leaving timely notice at any of tba No.
tele,
JACOB L. GIRTON,
Proprietor.
Bloomsburg. April V. Unte,
New 111.111enary Goode
At the Fancy Store of
AMANDA WERKHIUSKR,
(soutesson To nun aenittne,)
BLOOMS/WWI PA
•
The publle are respeetfully Informed that they ea*
be furnished with everything In the Mllllnary liar
upon the IMO reasonable turns. and in goods not
eurpassed for style, beauty, or durability in Ibis
town. Mar Pyring styles of hats, bonnete,and other
ankles for Women mad Misses wear, are beautiful
and well =lmitated to emit Ms 1416:4111 elf the woe
lutldious. litre her a tall More on Main curet
(north side) below Market. aprtYPO9-30.
MEW BAKERY AND CONFEO
4 .‘ TIONERY
Sniaraenliglilestkumaincol
'TIIIRD STREET,
BELOW MARKET,
BLOOMSBURG, PA.
J. E. pox, rroprietorot this aetabliettmeat, would
teepeettWly Whew hie aid and aaw eretotuera, tba►
M ham everything Piled up at bla new stand In ea.
able him In furnish them with DREAD. CANIS,
AND ILIeINFIRTIONERIES, St heretofore.
rr Hereafter all prunes. who have bites fitraleh
ed with Me, Lager Reer, and Porter, by the whole,
ball, or quarter barrel, will eall open WILLIAM
'GILMORE, at him Baleen la
Shires' Block, Meta Street,
ho has bee. authorise , ' by the unaereignea to eell
the memo. He Inn constantly have a Pupal, ea MW.
which will be sold at the lowest market r •tee.
Mr. st, lus la enema will ale Nat r old t-on.
thetioaery $11.4 up room her the eel, al
Cl:Cllt SAM,
to all who may favor him with their castage. Me
la oleo prepared to mats Ice Ureass la large lemon.
floe for perdu, goalie or metal doctoring& WO thy
sail luny he. It vetythiag pertain 's' to hit lino et
humor, will 'reeled careful and diligent attention.
irr Bo m o st askfill cordiall y sol ic its
cuettiotero gam fa
vote. and cordially solicits a corliaionce of the
Noe.._ ' J. P. 701.
Apol 3 *lO7
l'oraameenue. hearth ht, ledk
We beg to hoferm you that we are pee ,
ligp pared to oar for year We INCISOR out.oasal
awortureot CRY GOODS
errnel Was of the Degrees obey ea to Straw NM aid
®IMP, let. . loneats, Velvets. Sall hoed Lb.
hone, Flowers. Pearlier, Arebre, Crapes.. o , lOoder,
orsainerna, ac. are. We eke II be happy to
wilt ate you el oer Ikeda, or rewire your orders—
Prear o tw kw Cult. Yours. dree, 11. WARD ,
Mar I —low Noe. lIILIOS de NO North
Street IllarlPhle•
DR. W. H. BRADLEY,
(We Aaalatest Modica Dlttellar U. I. Amyl
Physician and Surgeon.
nrl" °aloe at tea &tie Hotel. llloonteberg. Pa.
telte promptly attended to both OW sad day,
111.mblivg, NOV. el, lOW
. • . .
qv' 107 OM
a 4-9
Fm
RAT ft
•
fletnnoturg temocrid.
AZIMII,_-1111 Is litnikee. lir nos pet/ *OMR
lIIX•MONTHS. &I eoliftpedißtionel will be r med.
OT NuPer , illpenlOWNe/1 1 0 11 el ow afore
are paid orcerft Alb option et Ow editor.
RATES OF ADVIOVIIIIIPIO.
I.llllllll,lAmmYlavoll 1 Wag.
One sae or Mier ... . . .91
Emery ontweieent ftivO i don leen
we
IVACO. 15. IL Iv.
Oho elre re, 1,00 OMI 4,00 o.loi
Two eqeereo, o. lh r 8,04 0,00 0,00
Throe .. 1,00 7,40 0,70 OPP
/.or 111111111411, 0.00 IMO 10,10 114,04
Irelroeleme, 14,00 10.00 14A0 10.00
Os. enigma. 11,00 IN.OII %MI 00,00
garratore and Administrator'' , Notice.
And itier'• Vallee
Other advertisements Marled mondial Is sposial
rontrart.
Iliminers antler,. "about advenhossoartgenty.
cents per line.
Tr.nelea odireirtlreinents payable II ad%lineell
inhere nag eller the tiro insertion.
Don't Stay L.ag.
A look of yearning tendernese
Beneath her lashes lies,
And hope and lore unutterable
Are shadowed in her eyes,
As in some deep unruffled stream
Aro clouds and summer skies.
She pissed to early womanhood,
From dreamy, sweet girl life,
And crossed the rosy threshold but
To And herself a wile;
Oh I gently shank' he lead her steps
Along the path of life!
And as mho clasped her small white hands
Upon his arm so strong,
How often, like a summer sigh,
Or a sweet pleading song,
She whispers, with a partia kiss..
"Heloi'd one, don't stay long.
It's almost always on ber lips,
Her gentlest parting word,
Sweet an the fragrance from TON leatc.s
When by soft zephyrs stirred,
And lingering the memory
Like song of summer birds.
And in Lis heart they:neste warm,
When other scenes amid;
le stays not till she weary grows,
And her fond eyes are hid
In teat s which lie in bitterness
Beneath each veiling lid.
And oh, bow many hearts are kept
By that love-uttering song I
There's scarcely one who on life's wares
Is swiftly borne along,
But what has heard from some dear lips
Those sweet words, 'Don't Stay Long.'
Tom DonleloWe Elloader.
"Come, Bertie, and let's have a drive.
I'm pining for a change ; and as for you, I
have serious fears that you will fade quite
away. Get your hat and mantle, my kit,
and we will have a jolly time. Run off,
now, right away !"
And lazy Tom for once roused himself,
and clapped his hands with .that gesture
which is sometimes used to hasten the
movements of others when we are our.
selves in a hurry. But Bertie only looked
up with a doleful face, and dropped her
sewing reluctently upon her:lap, to make •
regretful reply.
"Tom, dear, I really cannot. This work
must be finished, and if I spare the time
for a drive I could not do it."
"Come; somebody else will finish it."
"Who is there, pray? You don't expect
Jenny the housemaid, to take hold of a
piece of work like this; and there is no
other of wotnankind in the house. To
morrow mamma will be here, and our new
house must look just a perfect as possible.
I will try to find time to drive after tea, per
haps ; but I can't go now any way possible."
Little Mrs. Dunleigh here settled herself
back to the work firmly, utterly resigning
the tempting thoughts of a drive while the
cover that was to enrich her sofa pillow re
mained unfinished. Tom sighed heavily,
and passing out into the hail, put his hat
on ; but he passed at the door and looked
back wistffillly.
"Oh, palmy 1 Berth, do come. What
does a new cover signify? It will do just
as well to finish it another day, and I want
you ever so much, becalms I shall not have
another holiday in a long time, perhaps.
I don't know what to do with myself."
Bertio looked up roguishly.
"Suppose you read aloud from Dante's
Inferno for me ; that would be charming.
I could listen delightfully while sewing."
"I hate Dante, and you know it I Come,
won't you be obliging?"
"I can't really. You had better go and
find Harvey Leon to play billiards ; you will
enjoy that."
Tom waited no longer, but went out de.
liberstely down the street, pulling at a cigar
with commendable seal. To tell the truth,
be was vexed, for he bad met his heart upon
a drive with his charming little wife, and
the disappointment was a sore one. He
did so love to have the little creature porch.
ed beside him, beside the lovely grays be
was want to drive when he went out. She
always looked so bright and happy, and
everybody else looked so admiring; two
strong wants of his nature were supplied.
Tom loved his "fairy" idolising, and be
loves to have her praised beyond any thing
else. Indeed, if the truth was told, Tom
Dunleigh took especial delight In having
anything that belonged to him admired.
was one of the peculiarities; di his disposi-
tion, and those who sought the way to his
great, generous heart, could And it in no
easier way than by praising his various pe
rmissions.
By the time he arrived at Leon's place
of business he had partly disappointed his
vexation, burning it away with the cigar he
PNUY WRIMRSDAY N
itiL6OXldillib, OA" ter
WILLIAMSON JACOBY.
BY BELLE Nr. AUBYN.
bLOOMSBURG, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMMR 23, issg,
smoked, and watching it as it spread in soft
clouds above him. Unfortunately,• how•
ever, Mr. boa was not In, and Tom betook
himself to the:street again feeling is any
thing bar a happy mood.
"I've half a mind to go off on a spree,"
mid Tom to himself, in a half audible and
very petulant tow And them be smiled
when he found how horrified Bo* would
be to see him coming heats "tipsy," sod
bow she would rime& herself u the
cause. To do him Justice, Tom bad so se
rious thought. of doing himself so gram an
injury, and for an hour did nothing more
harmful than to wander shale* about
hoping to And some one to help him to pt
rid of a troublesome afternoon. Finally he
stopped on a corner near a large hotel, Pi
ing idly at the pawn as they filed aloof,
each being on thew own business of pleas
ure—none with more than a word a nod or
a smile for him.
0,0
1 AO
I Pi
II CO
30 00
•0
"I'm just like the idle boy who could And
no one to play with him," muttered Tom
one* more to himself. "And I appose it
will end in toy getting into some mischief
or other. I hope there will be no more hol
idays very soon, if this is the way I am to
spend them. I'd better have attended the
funeral of my inner employer than to hare
pretended headache and have uneasiest!
dreary time as a reward. I feel like ping
to a funeral Wish it wasn't too law "
But just at this moment Tom's eyes fell
upon a figure gliding rapindly along the
opposite:side of the street, where it woe
turned the corner. The hoe was concealed
by a veil, but there was no such thing as
mistaking a figure like Bade's—light, airy
and graceful. From her head to the tip of
her dainty boot, hie wife wee the perfection
of delicate loveliness, and all P— could
not boast another like her. But he was
astonished to nee her on the street after her
refusal to drive ; end his unhappy mood
was not made any better by the sight.
Crossing the street quickly, he followed
after, intending to overtake her; but her
little glancing feet were for too quick for his
clumsier tread. She lead him a charming
chase for three squares, then he just caught
sight of her, es a tall, slender gentleman,
faultlessly at tired, stepped to her side, and
took her hand in greeting. The next nos
ment both bad gone.
For one moment after reaching the corner
Tom gazed after the distant ear in bewilder
ment. The cool, sluggish blood, so bard to
rouse usually, was mounting body now.—
An incident of less import might have set
it going in his present frame of mind ; and
this half maddened him. Once thoroughly
angered,Tom Dunleigh was a terrible man
to deal with, and it would have fared ill
with the handsome stranger had he been at
that moment within reach. As it was, he
started off on a steady, rapid walk, bent on
treeing her to her destination. Ile would
find out who it was she preferred to her
own husband, and take din venoms upon
him. Surely he had reason for maddening
jealousy that bad taken possession of him.
The meeting be bad witnessed bore mystery
upon.tbe Bee of it ; even had be not known
snob a man, his name or station, bad never
at any time, been mentioned to him as bar.
ing the honor of his wife's acquaintance.
A less passionate man might have felt es
Tom did at this moment. But, as we have
said, though Mr. Dunleigh was one of the
beat and mosegenerous of mortals, taking
all things ordinarily, with inimitable sang
/rout, when ewe roused he was terrible,
and one might be forgiven lbt trembling in
the presence of his wrath.
Tom !.ad walked about six squares ere he
was near enough to see that he bad in view
the car that he wee following. One or two
delays at the corner, waiting for passengers,
favoreaim greatly, so that he was not a
square distant when the pair defended
and mounted the steps of an elegant house
on the left. He quickened his pees almost
to a run at the sight of tbem, but ON he
could:pin the house, the door had closed
upon them shutting him out.
Poor Tom's fury was boundless. He was
tempted to rush up the steps and demand
that she should go with him instantly. But
a moment's thought restrained him.
"I may get her, but be will escape me,"
be muttered through his set teeth. "I will
wait and make sure-of him when he oomes
out." Saying this with portentious cool.
On, Tom crossed the street and took up his
position in a drug store, where ho could see
the house. He only asked permission to
sit down for awhile, giving no reason, and
at there stolidly indifferent to the men's
wonder at the_ strange proceeding. Keep
ing his gaze bed upon the door, be remain
ed for a full hour, then seeing no kns of
their returning his patience was exhausted
and be went out abruptly. In that hour
the tboughta that passed through his un
happy brain were of a fearful nature. Out
of the whirlwind of passion, one deliberate
purpose had resolved itself. And now u
the cold air fill upon hie hot face, be tossed
the thick datop muses of blown hair from
his ftrehead and turned 14 steps homeward.
Arriving there, be turned into the library,
sod wrote rapidly for several minutes. The
letter he carried into Bertie's chamber and
left it upon her toilet table. It was a cruel
bitter letter; but he meant that she should
never know pease coin after having read
it. Deceit like hers woe deserving of dread
fill punishment.
It was a bud task to go away and leave
his new home. He had toiled very hard
for it, end bad anticipated so much happi
ness in its posseedoe. And here it most
end Tom thought everything Shit suds
life worth the beeping rot be Wk behind"
anti he become s witiolem tot the DWI of
the earth ; a vagabond, perhaps, be said
bitterly. But would it matter now ?
&lading hr Blade's room, with the del
kat* pewees she loved stealing around
bins, poor Tom's agony wis inersemd.-.
One of her tiny slippers ley upon a stool
where she bad left it, and he Notched It
up, kissing it pamionately, while a bitter
groan burst through his lips.
Oh, Beetle, 13ertie I Bow I bars loved
you ?"
And then he put the thing into his poe
m, the only memento be would carry hay
with him. He would:take one long look
through the house, then be would go and
lie in wait for that, man.until he could pun
ish him, after which be could fly the eons
try, and see her no more fixeren
A deadly light gleamed from honest Tom's
blue eyes as he took a revolver hom he
case and placed it in an inside pocket.—
But tens were on his cheeks as he turned
flow Betties room for the lam time. It
was a hard and bitter thing to do what ley
before him.
Twilight had failed by this time, and he
peered pistfully into each dim room as he
passed, tusking his way to Berth's boudoir
for a hit look at the spot she loved best.—
But the house was so still that his own steps
sounded harsh to him in spite of the soft
carpet. Turning the handle of the door,
he stepped in as lightly as be would, but he
stood for half a minute ere his eyes become
sufficiently accustomed to the darkness to
enable him to distinguish *acts. When
they did grow used to it, he saw something
that drove the hot blood back to his heart,
and made him feel faint.
There, in one corner, resting upon a
lounge, and dressed in a white wrapper, lay
Horde, fast asleep! Her rich hair was
mitered over the pillow, end • warm lush
on her delicate cheeks, which made her
look inespreseively lovely. Her regular
breathing betrayed a deep and dreamless
sleep. Evidendy she had been there some
time, for the curtains had been dropped to
subdue the light.
Filled with remoneless shame for the ao.
lions of the last two boars, poor Tom slip.
ped out of the room and returned the re
volver to the case. Then burnt the letter
be bad written, and having destroyed aft
traces of his anger, returned to Bartle, whe
woke to find ber husband holding her is
his arms, end covering her face with kisses.
" 06, Tom I how you frightened me I I
got so tired I bad to lay down, but the cov
er is finished, and I am so pleased. Did
you hare a nice game, dear?"
Very nice," answered Tom, aloud, but
mentally added : very nice time in mak
ing a fool of myself."
Why did you not bring Harvey home to
tea with you ?"
Couldn't come," answered the dutiful
fellow, with some hesitation ; then he hast
ened to cover it by saying that it seemed
quite as well, for he saw no signs of such
meal. Bettie laughed.
" That's all you know about management.
A match touched to the dining room chan
delier, will show you everything: in perfect
readiness, and in less than two minutes tee
can be served. lam saving gam by waiting,
you see. I mean to be a very economical
little housekeeper until you are wholly out
of debt, so many little things have to be
paid for. And I'll tell you, dear Tom, one
reason why I did not yield to your wishes
for a drive, was because I thought we ought
to dispense with inch luxuries just now.
After awhile I hope there will be so need
to deny ourselves a few simple pleasures."
Tom's arms closed very tenderly around
the little figure now, but the blood came in
hotter flush to his b row.; He was trembling
so as to make detection inevitable, bad not
the little hands wandering into his pockets,
found something which brought a quicker
exclamation and a ringing laugh; and after
some teasing he told her the whole story
through, amid screams of laughter, ending
with as earnest pryer to be fingiven for his
Meader.
Sirs ro Rec.—We have record of a
colloquy between a gentleman and his coo,
both lawyers, the father having retired in
easy circumstances to a country place some
ten miles away from the scene of his pro
fessional labors. One Sunday morning the
young gentleman, homeward bound, met
his father and mother on their way to
church where they regularly attended. The
father laid: "My sou, I am delighted, and
so is your dear mother, that you are going
to bear our good man preach. You will be
highly pleased with him." 'While this con
versation was going one tail friend of the
sou came up, and familiarly addressing him
by his ebristiao name "I have got the bar
open,•so that we can have brandy and water
whenever we want it." The Mend, odor.
vine the Wears countenaoce of the fisher,
beat a hasty rebut. When he was gone,
the father put up both his hands and said :
"My sou, I could not have believed this of
you; look at your poor mother, and observe
how she feels your wickedness." After a
minute of dead silencer the father said :
"Who is that sad companion of yours?"
"Wall, father, if I must tell you, he is my
best client, and the richest man in our
town." The old geodesist' thereupon slap
pal his son on **shoulder and said,."Stich
to him, my boy ; sekh ee A satilsersr
leave him." Withal wodi
YetTAA the wog known onoodnity ww.
pon, who her been Wm (hewer too doom
iprTobid anboolo, SW mod of the
onifiat doer Mika foto the wed will
$0110064 *WA& In the bit
bit - Pirooo or idlla
The &affirms Threaten War.
"Thlare is no doubt that war will follow
the election of Seymour and /Male—Rad
ical paper,
We clip the above from a Radical ex
change. We have men the some sentiment
mused by several prominent Radical
paws. What does it mean? Who will
inaugurate the war that "will follow the
election of Seymour and Blair?" Will it
be the Radials of the North, ew the negroes
of the South ? It will have to be one or the
other, or both united, u the Democracy can
hardly be expected of any intention of mak
ing war upon a government of their 'own
choosing.
The man who threatens the people with
war is a traitor at heart, end should he and
his party attempt to carry out their threats,
they will be made to feel the virtue of hemp.
Seymour la/ be elected; that is as oertain
as fate. Re will be rworn:in as Pr sident
of the United testes on the 4th of March,
1869. After that be will attend to all Rad
icals who talk about war, Let the white
Radicals and their dear negro friends "try
it on ;" let them attempt to get up another
rebellion—we wish they would—and the
Democrats of the nation ; the men who in
tend to elect Seymour and Blair, will sweep
them from the facie of the earth.
We an tell these Radical traitors that
their threats and blusters will fail to intim
idate the people. The yeomanry of the
country, who are suffering from taxation
almost beyond endurance, are in no humor
to be bullied by scalawags who favor a
Freedman's Bureau and a standing army in
the South. They have sworn in their hearts
that these buissooes must be abated, and
they are in earnest. After Seymour has
taken the oath of adios, be will kick the
Freedman's Bureau into the sea, order the
sixty thousand troops now in the South to
another field of duty, out down: all uncle
misery expenditures, and once more lift the
office of President to the dignity that be.
longed before the Radical trimmers got into
power. We will have war, will we? Ty
ir, 11 you dare / Get bottled Ben Butler to
take command of, your pie -bald army, and
then look out for yourTneeks, Messrs.Radi.
(mitt—Car/hie Volunteer.
Ix August, 1867, Greeley proposed the
following query: "flow happens it that
every renegade is so vociferous for Grant?"
The Radical papers did not snorer it then,
nor have they einem:Renegades dell kinds
still constitute the leading spirits of the
Grant organisation. It is a congregation of
renegades,
Blaek spirits and white,
Red spirits and Frey ;
Mingle, mingle, mingle,
Yolathat mingle, may.
The renegade Butler deems in the same
round with Logan, while Callioott from
the penitentiary, and Beecher from the pul
pit, throw their offerings into the unholy
pot In order that its poisonous "hell broth"
may madden brother against brother, and
let loose the brutal and licentious negroes of
the South upon silver-haired mothers,
young wives, and innocent children• All
the renegades arc vociferous for Grant.
OLD Music wrru NOM—You'll re
member me." The absconding lodger to
his landlady.
"Where shall rest be found?' In the
dictionary.
"Where are the friends of my youth?"
Haven't the slightest idea; probably in the
poor house ; hope not in Coupon.
"Think of me ever." Certainly , got
your note for $2.36•
".Come rest on this bottom." Can't do it.
Betsy Jane is inclined to be jealous
"l'de offer you this hand of mine." Yon
needn't, we've got all the hands we want at
present.
"How dear art thou to me." Yea, very
dear ; strawberries and cream for two, fancy
"rip," perfumery, nicknacks, et cetera.;
"dear art thou," muobly.
The Radical Platform.
let. Military Despotism.
2d. A large Standing Army.
3d. A Black Man's Government.
4th, Anarchy and Military Edicts.
sth. Military 7'risla.
6th. Congressional Usurpation.
7th. Extravagance and Cortuption.
Bth. Bondholder, Untaxed.
9th. Bold for the Rich Man.
10th. Rags for the Poor Man.
11th. High Taxes on Libor.
12th. Low Tax on Capital.
13th. National Debt to run forty yam
14th. Gold to pay Principal and Interest.
15th. The People'. backs to raise it.
16th. Slavery the doom of the white man.
17th. Extermination the Negroe's doom.
18th. Hate, Malice and 'tossup.
19tb. Hell on Earth.
Democratic IPlatibria.
LG Civil Liberty.
2d. A White Nan', Government.
3d. The Union and Constitution.
4th. The Laws end the Judicial Tribunals.
sth. Economy and Retrenchment.
6th. Taxation of United States Bonds.
7th. Reduction of taxes on lAbor.
Bth. One currency for Rich sad Poor.
9th. Lewd Tenders to pay all Debts.
loth. Rights of the States,
1 1 th. Rights of the Tax-payers.
12th. Peace led liippiem to all.
As attempt was rem* made is Pbn**
delphia to attemp t was
1114 Bichsel boarders
at a house la the Tweetyr
loom m "Behmmt
of "Web hadV
W
reatt st t
Pppresties sae U
ems
MU was . X d ord si bj t m, he r te
44 . . • i tt to l d
OR " C." 5 „,, thee he no Inger ma
Wifia -- jg: ' f 41 1 1446•0 r would he
The *Oaks
The IL•rdte !Prayer.
Did you ever think, short though it is,
how much there is in it? Oh, it is beauti
ful! Like a diamond in the crown of a
queen, It unites a thousand sparkling gems
in one.
It towhee ell of us, every one of us, to
look to God u our parent—" Our Father."
It prompts us to raise our thoughts and
desires above the earth—" Who art in
heaven."
It toile us that we must reverence our
heavenly Father—"Liallowed be thy name."
It busthes the saint's reward—" Thy
kingdom come."
And a submissive, obedient spirit— "Thy
will be done on earth as it is in heaven."
And a dependent, trusting spirit—" Give
us this day our daily bread."
And a forgiving spirit— "Forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those that trespass
apiust us."
And a cautious apirit—"Deliver us from
evil.""
And, Iwg of all, an adoring spirit—" For
thine in the kingdom, and the power, and
the glory forever and ever. Amen."
=I
AU Here of Item.
...The beck door bello—A pretty kitchen
maid.
...lt is better to bare beef corned than
men.
...To-morrow is the day in which idle men
work and fools reform.
...Over head and ears in debt—wearing
an unpaid for Let,
...Spurgeon, it is said, is coming to Amer
ica to lecture. Who cares.
..."Time works wonders," as the lady
said when she married after a thirteen years'
courtship.
...Our wishes are but the idle blossoms
of the tree of human lifo, seldom bearing
fruit.
...Trembling' roses and flowers covorsd
with ants are wind in Paris for bonnet trim
mings.
—"Pray, madam, why do you name your
old hen lacduff?" "Because, sir, I want
her to lay on."
...If you want the Treasury doors thrown
open to political bummers and beggars, vote
for Gen. Hartranft.
...If you want the Treasury guarded
against the inroads of plunder•seckors, vote
for Charles E. Boyle.
...Pat thinks it very good to be alone,
especially if you have your sweet-heart with
you. Pat is about right.
...The hog may not be thoroughly posted
in arithmetic, but when you come tw,squarc
root he is there—the bog is.
...A Bible student asserts that Daniel
prophesied Grunt's election. lie would
never have come oat of that lion's den if be
had.
...An irritable man, having been disap
pointed in his boots, threatened to eat the
shoemaker, but compromised by drinking a
cobbler.
...Charles Dickens is said by English pa
pers to have cleared s`►6o,ooo by his visit to
this country. $o much for American hum
buggery•.
...Ilipokrasy is one ov the vices yu kant
koncert ; you might u well undertake to gi
the wiggle out ov a snake, or the pease out
ov fat pork.
...In one of Josh Billings' late papers he
says: "The sun was a going to bed, and the
hevins fur and near was a bluahin at the
performance."
...A French Jury has acquitted a pretty
girl who crushed to death her baby while
giving it suck, but sent to prison for life a
woman who cut up her husband into small
pieces.
...Mr. Swingwell sugarcoats his speech.
Says his father was in the hemp business all
the last portion of his life. But Swingwell
doesn't add that it was directly under the
gallows.
...If you desire to enjoy life, avoid un
punctual people. They impede business
and poison pleasure. Make It your own
rule not only to bet punctual, but a little be
forehand.
...A western editor cautions his readers
against kissing short girls, bemuse this
habit has made him round shouldered.—
Send all such girls to us—we'll risk our
back and shoulders..
...One of Josh Billings' maxims: "Rise
early, work hard an' late, live on what you
kan't sell, give nothing away, and if you
don't die rich and go to the devil, you may
rue no for damages.
...One of the negro Senators of Louisiana
had a street Eight with another of his color
last week. The elm of the quarrel dates
from six years ago, when the Senator was
in the poor house.
...A waiter in a Boston hotel lately re
stored a lost $lOO note to its owner, a guest
of the house, and refused a $2O reward.
They talk of a public testimonial to the fel
low fbr his honesty.
...Different kinds of things have different
weights. Mrs. Smith lugs a twenty-five
pound baby for an hour at a time without
fatigue. Ask her to carry a ten pound ham,
and you would be denounced as a barbarian.
...Matrinumy is hot buckwheat cakes,
warm beds, ecomfbftible *tippet% smoking
coffee, round arms, red lips, kitui, words,
shirts exulting in buttons, redeemed stock
kgs, boot Juke, Impious, end--babies.
thus I
..."bid I nnderststid You to say that I
was lona, sir?" "Oh, no, merely told
my friend that when it reined Hee in
I thowtht you mant barn bra walking
about tkaro Without a bat or in umbrella—
that', aIL"
NUMBER 31.
...Silver and golden ankles for !Wiwi are
about to become feshionable. They will be
Want outside the Mocking.
...When you call a lady pretty, and tell
the truth, you pay her a compliment which
touches the inner paradise of her feelings.
...Wty don't the Soutlicrbers behave?—
Tribune.
"Ma, make Bill be quiet—every time I
bit him over the bead he hollers,"
...The city council of Nashville, Tennes
see, is to pay a blind men $5OO to walk
across the river on a slack wire. That will
give him a number one funeral..
...It Is related that a Jersey man, gather
ing mushroonS, was told that they Were
poison. "Thank you; lam not going to
eat them myself—l nil them at a hotel."
...Carl Schurz, 'fief stumping Indiana in
German, declares that the Dutch are no
more intelligent thir the negroes, bemuse
they mean to vote for Seymour and Blatt.
...Women are said to have stronger at
tachments than men. It is not so. A man
is often attached to an old bat; but did you
ever hear of a woman having au attachment
to an old bonnet. l'khe answers, never.
...A German of Chicago offers to bet eight
puncheons of wine, worth a 2,000, that Gen.
Grant will carry Chicago. Another Ger
man offers to bet that Grant can drink the
"eight puncheons" before he is elected.
...A deaf and dumb boy, thirteen years
old, was made to do duty as a repre-enta.
tive voter in a Radical procesuion at Port
land. There was smile propriety in it, alter
all, considering the dumbness of the candi
date.
...A young man in New Jersey has gone
insane over the idea that his marriage was
not legal, and that ho would lose his wife.
Per contra, large numbers or young mar
ried men throughout the country are in va
rious degrees of distraction because elide*,
exactly opposite.
...The following can be read so as to make
sense, but it takes a cute individual to find
out how. Just try it
I thee read see that me,
Love is up will I'll have
But that and you have you'll
Ono and down and you if.
.„ A late California paper mentions a duel
which was fought between a Yankee ani ail
Englishman, in a dark room. The Yankee,
not wishing to have blood on his hands, fired
his pistol up the chimney, and, to his hor
ror, down come the Englishman.
...The disrespectful follow who wrote the
following is daily expecting an indiscrimi
nate attack of broomsticks:
Duplex. hoops and painted faces,
Patent calves and foreign curls,
Waterfalls and costly places,.
Tell too plainly what are girls.
...People are frequently advised to keep a
stiff upper lip. Why not also a rigid lower
one? Is there any more virtue bidden in
one than in the other? The lips were orig
inally formed for kissing. Who could kiss
with a stiff upper, and a limp lower lip?—
The persimmon drops would all be taken
out of the nectar.
...In the South Carolina Legislature the
other day a member ventured to use the
term "white men," when be was interrupt
ed by a negro member thus : "Mr. De-
Large said : I call the gentleman to order ;
he is speaking of members in calling them
white men. I object to the language used."
Lo ! the poor white man.
...A drowsy youngster at Manchester, N.
I-1., fell down a light of stairs, then passed
through two doors, climbed over a well curb
and fell into the well twenty feet deep, with
four feet of water at the bottom, and was
fished up after crying for help; all this he
did while fast asleep, and when finally awa
kened he did not remember a thing that had
happened.
...Mrs. Shurmad, a "coffee-colored" lady,
was arrested in Washington, last week, for
passing a $5O counterfeit greenback. In
default of bail she was sent to jail to await
her trial. This' is 'a great outrage upon
freedom and the ''toffee-colored" race.—
Greeley and his "blockhead" brethren will
set up a wonderful howl should this wench
lose her liberty, for which the count) v has
bled so long.
...Keep a smile on your dandtonanoo. --
Smiles breed dimples which are mare orna
mental than seventy-five cent vest ebaine.,
It is dangerous to sleep in the same town
with the proprietor of n perpetual frown.
Don't walk around looking as dismal as a
sick undertaker, or as if you were going to
your wedding or a funeral. If yon feel
down-hearted, avoid laudanum. Take to
clean linen and victuals, and you'll eouw out
all right.
t.Planchette is all the rage just now. A
few evenings since a young married lady,
with several Mends of both sexes, married
and single, was consulting this Mysterious
little instrument, when, in reply to a men
tal question by the aforesaid lady, Plan
chette wrote out, in a largo legible hand,
"A fine boy?" As a matter of course the
question was obvious, the blushing was con
fusing, end there were no more mental
quebtions naked that evening.
We have often beett asked the difference
between a "carpet-bagger" and a "scala
wag." The luka (Miss.) Unsette answers
the question in the folleiiitig manner:
"The etzbagger is a Northern thief,
who come ieodth to pleader every white
man who ie a taa*maa of ettyproperty or
reepeetabclity t anditot lit ra lloos ht , can,
The enbswegh a 3out , seowathal,
\ lwo
who will do all the eerptiV ger will, and;
benches , *alder the *On-, tbr the
hepintlelstime hie iiitsi rift when
he left home
, .. .
Nice men t h e to rule in a thrietin
Country. &died+ all.