^-Mf VOL. XXXII. OITICLItS OF COLUMBIA (0. President William Elwell. Inn Peri., Associate judgus— Pohl f'roth'y anti (Tic of Courts —.Jesse Coleman. Register and Recorder—dolin U. Fret ze. John F. Fowler, Commi*Jioners— Montgomery Cole. ( David Yeager, flheriff—Mordecai Millard. '.rreasurer—Jaeob t1,.8 Bupert, Auditors— John P. Hannon. j fkriadi llaariw ottttrivioner's Clerk —Wm. Kriekha 'onuni,4oner's Attorner —E. 11. UPI-. Mercantile Apprah.er —W. IL Jaeohy. ' aunty Surveyor- I ~a ae. A. I tow i t. t pistrict A ttronoy —Milton M. Traugh. Coroner -William .1, keler. 'County Stns.rinten,tent Itarkley, As s oic r ; Internal Pek eerie— it. F. Clark, John ThomaJ, Assistant B. Ivn ne , r. Paniel MAlenry. Collector—Benjamin !Lotman. Ilitoontsburgo Literary institute. 110.k1t1) INSTHITTION. ENItY CARVER, A.:'l,. nn , l Prnprivtor, Prufe.:. Snr.ili A. V.irvvr. '../* earlier of FIVIIOI. 1:1 , 1ally :1114 (1;14'11101;a! 14:111C1-• 1-11:11' O. C. -1. A. D., w A. is , Pro,ll , —nr 111' •, F. M. ro: W 14.1 .1.1141. , M. rare:--r. .-hur "I' 1114, wm ht:ti Mil 11-. • - To,ielwr Tun, InT in ninny I), t,aren nt. t-rin minnion, I ‘i 1.0 : .„ 111,,..n1.1 , ntgr. Mardi 1.. 1- -. DR. W. H. BRADLEY, (Late At4...taikt Medichl Ihre,t,t , I:, S. Army ,) tr - tlitice at the t:ork. Itt , oatl mace on fifteen commtnnice 11 ,, r••••% II wit., at onen taken up by Barn , . and John Cahill, who trone•l Motte,•y a , the man to rile. 'i'h•• mtt .11 tv,e, all • I 111 . 41 r theand then tip It I• ••n eoleb•int :flt, goinz on •,• •toth • t, —lli. Vett will • that he ne,-t it\ •ra f , ;oil • thr , •• minim f" , r Eft , , •• ;I::\ !yew-, melt- hi; f',,r •- of time in c h• tlEu l n4 horNe,-; at every ••• lid, third, or tl,ttrth tnilr. aro:- dent-4' or um, eent,talbe The tea , was that he cool ',never ,itee an , ' in the ti ithu th • odd ••• w, de..l ayitheb hint, V, -terday i. Snit lay, Wits fixed fir this race apain-t tul l e. The race t mk I,' me at ltay Vy•w Park, a few loth , city, over a 'HEY track. The ati••• tl thirty in number, leeted Mewely. were the common Citbnienia •: .• I bah' breed-, none of t h iii I• i th, lieh belong- to th • ••• the trillan* .4... Os which w , tt it.t , • Si ;tin by tin fiery follower, .1•1 it mid Tarim when at the bidding of the Centwidi ler of the the eon tone•ers .‘fric tf , owed int., Europe. there to :1,,i, .1,1 the •w" •• of the true Clod ntyl ,t• of the Koran, I t Me. Mowery is an old Californian, appa rently of about middle age, weigh, one hun dred an I sixty pound?, and rode with u heavy .lexivati California Spanish hit and free rein, At twenty minutes to five in the morning he sprang into the saddle s and rode the first horse four times round the track---that is to say, Ibur miles at a dead run. Attendants stood ready at the stand to saddle and bring out the fresh horses as he beckoned for them in coming around ; and he changed animals tafaithv, riling none t.f them three miles after the first, and few or them more than two. The Mexieuu dodge of "rushing" was constantly resorted to. An attendant would ride one fourth or one third of the way down the track to meet him as he came in, wheeling his horse, ride just behind him yelling, `ertnws! awns! whoop oh, Vestals '' swinging his hat, as if frantic. This would start the ilaging animal into redoubled ex ertions, and he would come in fairly flying. A single sharp pull on the Spanish bit would stop the animal in a second, and in two or three more the rider would be on a fresh animal and off again. Sometimes the mile or two miles would be ridden one way round the truck, some• times the other, in order to relieve the rider by change as Ihr us practioahle. Early in the morning the race track was crowded with people, 11.11(1 before 2 v. M. the jam was immense. Up to 12at, the rider refused all assistance in 11101111111Ig and remounting, but after that his attendants would occasionally give hint u lift, apparently not so much be -0:111:4: he required it, a:: fir Kair that he mit lit do :•9 bd ., 11 . 0 the race was ever. At TO MY MOT11111:11 4 Stenlitiliabge Rare. BLOOMSBURG, P the end of two hundred miles a rest was ta ken, and a placard was di.-played frrim the judges' stand that the two, hundred miles had been tweomplished in eight hours, two minutes and fortpeight seconds—thus beat ing by forty minutes the time made by Mr. Heidi:don, with race horses, in England.— Then the start was made on the third hun dred miles, Mr. Mowery having had a bath and otherwise refreshed himself, and ap pearing good for two hundred m o re, if required. The bets are now changed, and large odds were offered on his winning, with but few takers, and those of the obstinate bobtail and pigskin school. Ile now made a mile in 2:04, and the average speed was 2::;) throughout. There was a very heavy wind blowing across the track at this time, and the average speed must have been con siderably unfavorably affected by this fact, nevertheless lie "kept up his lick," amid the cheering of the crowd, never flagging flit an instant. A halt wen made for a second bath, and from time to time an at would dash a little water over Mow try's bead as he rode along, At one time a fr lend. who was at the stand, ran Comma and offered his own horse for a ride over the track. Mowery was on him in au in stant, and rode not only owe but three, times around. As he came around the sec ond time, the owner made a fruitless attempt to catch him, and succeeded in catching a fill, as the rider, siting erect as a bronze statue, dashed past. Film crowd yelled with delight at this, and as Mowery came around the third time shouted to him to "go it again :" but that would have been varying the joke too far, and he changed horses. while the officious friend led his own away, amid the jeers and cheers of the spectators. At eleven minutes to seven P. at. just fourteen hours and nine minutes from the start, the three hundred miles was aerami 'dished, and a perfect roar of applause broke from the multitude as the under:ad horseman started once more - just for luck." The last mile was made in two minutes and nine seconds, making the unprecedented distance of three hundred and one miles in ibutterin hours, eleven minutes and nine see (mils, and beating anything previously ac complished in the world in this line. The judges deelared : „the money won. and an nounced the time. The gates were flung open, and the vast concourse in carriages of every description, on horseback and on foot, poured out into, the road toward San Man an indiscriminate race on - the devil take tie hindmost" plan king inaugurated. A , the crowd streamed away towards the city the most constleurts of in it was an Lineltionan on a tall. taw bunny bay, with a stump of a tail sticking up like an abbre viated flagstaff behind, ridingon a pig skin, with short stirrops, top boots, ping hat, an eye-glass and a cane. Ifis appearance was o indiseribably ludicrous by contrast with what had just been seen, that yells and roars laughter greeted him at every jump fur miles. So ended the great California mustang race against time, Ttn: 3Lts.—Tho live titan is like a little pig, he is weaned young and heAns to root cam Ile is the pepper sass of ereati , .u--the all ~piee of the world. )lire town in the villasts is like a ease hell in a di-trill school — be sets every beg tow skratehcu at dinst• The live man iz as fu 1 of bizzines as the kon , lnet , ,r a street kar —he is often like a hornet, very tizzy, but about what, the Lord only know:,. Ile light: up like a kotton laktory, and hain't foreners: but has done more (with eh:avoid) toy work on the greatness of this country than any other man in it. Ile don't al was die riteh, but alwas dies bizzy, and meets death a good deal as an oyster dui., without any fuss.—Josh /Mugs. DAN 311 A ant: was once strolling along the wharves of Boston, when he met a tall, imam-looking figure, a "digger" from Cali fornia, and got into conversation with him. — Healthy climate, 1 suppose?" "Healthy! it ain't anything else. Why stranger, there yen can choose any climate yen like, hot or odd, and that too without travelin' ►core than liken minutes. Jest think o' that the next cold niernin' when yot► get out o' bed, There's a mountain there, the Sary Nuvady tiny call it, with a valley en each side of it, one but and one cold. Well, get on top or that mountain with a doubltebarreled gun, and you can, without nitwit'', kill either summer or win• ter game, jest as you wish." "What! have you ever tried it?" "Tried it! often; and should have done pretty well, but thr one thing." "Well, what was that?" "1 wanted n. dog that would stand both climates. The lust dog I had froze his tail 1.11 while pintin on the summer side. Ile didn't, get entirely out of the winter bide, you no—true us you live." Marble sloped. Tut age we live in—Bouttage. 'WEDNESDAY,III ) -4 1 )14 ( / iv tf, SEPT: SEPTFM 1s 6 4 • .„ Bed4toons of Thirty-Six Girls. The guests of the Itenrie !louse, Cinvin. natti, were suddenly startled Wednerday morning about 2 o'clock, by frightful shrieks proceeding from the room occupied by the dining-room girls of that institution. It appears that one of the guests, who hailed from the rural districts and who no eupied room No. 3e) had been paying his devotions to old Bacchus with such earnest ness in the evening, while wandering around the city, hunting up the elephant doubtless, that when he started thr his hotel, it was far past the midnight hour, and he was as happy as corn juice or lager beer can well make one without placing him in a somno lent condition. Ile found the hotel after diverse instruc tions from the knights of the mace he en eountered, but the finding of No. 31; after he had entered the portals of that estale lishnont was to hint, just then, it most se rious difficulty. The diagram of the hotel had been driven out of his head by his deep potations, but one thing in connection with it remained there stubbornly, and that was that he occupied No. 36, or would if he could only find it. After numerous adven tures he reached the right floor, which was the most elevated in the hou-e, and then began his search for No, 36. "Thirty-six. thirty-six, where aro you?" he muttered as he staggered along the ball. "Ah, here you are," he continued, as he brought up in front of a room occupied by the girls of the dining hall, Ile at once opened the door, entered and commenced di vesting him-elf of his clothes, part of which he laid aside, as he felt exceedingly warm from the effects of the liquor he had im bibed. After this proeeetling, he started for his bed, as he thought, and there being several in the room, he Lad ne difficulty in reaching one, but it was occupied by the Liebe of the dining room. lie put his hand upon the bed, no, not upon the bed, but upon the face of the occupant, or near by, muttering at the same time, "I thought I'd find you, thirty-six, though I had a hard time of it." This proceeding startled the fair occupant, who woke up just in time to hear his mut tering about thirty-six, and like a startled fawn bounded out of the bed, giving a most unearthly shriek, which roused the other occupants. "Oh, murder murder she yelled - there is a man in the room, and he says, the living scamp, that I am thirty six, when I'm just turned of eighteen." Now there were just eight girls in the room, but they were soon joined by others who occupied adjoining apartments, until the fl , ree numbered at least twenty. The girls, after the alarm had subsid e d, vonelit ded that they were strong enough to cope with a single man, and determined to light the gas and put the intruder out. A flash of' light from the gas-burner revealed the situation. There stood the drunken revealer, eyes like tamers, still by the side of the bed he had first tonehed, unload at the sight that burst upon his vision. ty-six ! thirty-six !" said he, not foreettin4 his number. "I) —d if there ain't thirty-six," he continued as he took in the number of girls who stood gazing at `ll.c girls consulted, and concluded to hind hint hand and foot, man as he was, and at once the flair brigade charged upon him, and soon placed him hors de coniha r t, bound as securely as ever Mczeppa was to the fiery untamed steed. This done the porters were called in, and their prisoner handed over, who was at once taken to No. 3il, whore he was severely rep rimanded. "Ile devil," said he, in expla nation ; - and do you suppose I ant a Mor mou because I fell among thirty-six girls instead of No. 36. Tell the landlord to charge all damages to No. 36, and have me checked for the train in the morning. I'll not stop with any one who keeps thirty six girls in a single room." PAT'S FEAR 0)' LIFE INstitAscE.—The following dialogue between an insurance agent and a well to do Irishman, is related : "l'at, you arc making plenty of moncy ; why don't you insure your lifer "And what is that?" "Why don't you take out a policy of in surance on your ?" '+.llccause I don't see the policy or it.-- Shure, I must die, policy or no policy." "You don't understand. It' you insure your life now, when you die the company will pay your wife enough to keep her and your children from want and suffering." "And that would be insuring my life!— Shure I am afthcr thinking it would be in suring Bridget's and the children's. And how much would they give her?" "That would depend upon the premium. Say a thousand dollars." "A thousand dollars! Holy mother!— Whist man! Don't mention it. Ye don't know Bridget Wnns't she heard of it, not a wink of shlape should I get till 1 done it, and thin bad luck to Pat ! She'd murder the with kindness and drink herself to death with the money." —Miss Helen Eckert, a young girl of about sixteen years, of Easton, weighs over live hundred pounds. She is unable from her great weight to get out of the house. She may be seen at any time of the day at her father's house, seated in a largo chair made fur her. Iler cheerfulness astonishes every one visiting her. As lively as a cricket, she is delighted when friends call iu to see and chat with her. 111=1=1 DEmorn %Tic ►ui riles—ballotk, Radical 1116:41es—bullet,. DEMOCRAT. (Armours In our Public Pic The Association of the tlerntan Press of Pennsylvania, consisting or the thlutan itors, Publishers, many German Ministers, Professors, and other Friends of education in the State, desire to have the following potition with the reosous and pets therein contained presented to the proper authori ties. lid the llmoralde directors flontrtiliri of the PoWe Sehools flooslllootOr Whilst thanking the worthy: Directors and Controllers of the Public Schools of the State, Ihr the introduction of the tiernem language into many of the Digit Schools of our cities and towns, we would respectfully ask you to (atwitter favorably th e proptiety of introducing the German also into the lower departments of our Free Schools gee erally, an far as possible, and fir the fAlow ing reasons : I. Wettest, comparatively fow pupils from the lower departments ever enter the high Schools, and thus, the 1461. go of German in our Public Schools is denied to most Or the children in the State. Because in a State like Penneylva nia. where about one half of the church mem bers attend divine service in the German language, and where, nearly one hundred newspapers, and a largo number of excel lent books are published in the :ante latv guage, all the children, rich and poor, and those too who cannot attend a Hi g h School or College, should have an opportunity to learn to read, and understand not only the English but also the German language eur reedy. 3. Because the German is the moat, r tongue of about one half of the parents of the State, and it serves, as experience shows, to promote obedience to parents and good training generally, if' children study the noble language of their fathers` thoroughly, and learn to respect it properly. d at Because church, school and home tnin isteWs, teaelews, and parents should con stanly work together in the education of youth, but this can only be done with good results, if the church and Ettnily language is also correctly taught and understood, as well as duly honored in the tchool. Because, it' our public Ado:1013 teaah pupils to read and write th e German lan pege as well as the English, and endeavor to infuse a spirit of pleasure and love for reading in both languages, they impart to German speaking parents through their children much useful knowledge and help to promote education among young and old in ierman fhurilkc Because the German is an original lan guage--and very many of the most impor tant and generally used English words among the people are of German or Angle. Saxon origin, so that the study of the Ger man language leads scholars to a mere thor ough understanding of the English. 7. Because the study of different lam guages—especially trandating from one language into another—is one of the Lit mental exercises and an invaluable means of , culture, which should be generally intro- 1 &wed into our nubil e schools. s. Because a themetited ant practical knowledge of the German language, which is spoken and honored by so many millions in all parts or the world, is of great value to all Americans and especially to Pennsyl vanians, in business lift-, in social iteereouree and particularly in traveling in this and other lands. 9. Because the Gorman language in its purity is not only one of the most beautiful languages of the world, but also becauee its literature is acknowledged as unsurpassed in richness and value, and opens and offers to the student the greatest treasure., in all branches of knowledge. 10. Because the introduction of the Ger man language during the last row years into the public schools of nearly all the prinei pal cities of the West, and also of many 1,13,y,t in the East, as for example New York, ar risburg, &c., has been followed by the mast beneficial results. I II . Because a great trimly tidbit-en in our State already understand and speak the Pennsylvania German dialect, and Bey could be easily taught to read, understand, write and speak the pure German, the lan guage of Luther and Seidner and Clothe, land of all Germany's great eeholare —thee ' logians, philosophers, poets, st,e. PI Because Pennsylvania. the Keystone of our b e loved Union, is often called the "Old German State," and it is certainly greatly indebted to its industrious, skillful and evonotnieal German speaking inhabitants for much of its wealth and prosperity, and a proper regard to the language of this large portion of our influential population in our public schools seems to us to he just and right. In addition to these numerous plans and practical reasons, we take the liberty of stating another fact in conclusion : When the Moo! Board of Cleveland, Ohio, lately introduced the German language into the public schools of that city, some expressed a fear that the study of the Ger man might retard the progress of English studies in the schools, and in Order to meet this objection, inquiry was made in Cincin nati, where the German had been taught in the public schools for many years, anti after a full examination it was ascertained, that, as a general rule, those scholars who were attending the schools where both languages are taught, were making more rapid pro gress in the acquisition de thorough howl edge of the English, than those learning English only. The same experience bas also been made during late years in St. Louis and other \V .4 , -m eitiv- Linguistie studies develop? the power of the mind and stri ngthen the mental 'legit ties just al well as tudthematieal studies, and the greater numher of lantninres , the student !earner, the more he dk aide to learn. The knowleflue of one languaige him in the understanding 43r.tharo on aeeount of their fundamental relation and e.unteetion with eaelt other, WO thW intelleaertnal train ing it -ready prom o ted, We submit thew ruasoiu awl fed:, to ,your action- eon dduration and remain ry Respectfully Your-, The olliveri of die As...am:ion of the (ier tunn l're , s; of Pennsylvania Brol,st. Preddent ; 1)r. 3lorwitz, and E. IL Ila dueller, ntown, Vice PrtAiglents ; NV, Rosenthal. Iteaditur, and J. %V. ; 4 chrader, Pottsville, Geore, Ripper. Harrisburg, Trvasurer Dr. Kellner, Philadelphia, Prof. Willo'n, ;, , tt% -burg, A. E. 11ambly, 'i 4 l,„',l,paci, %rifle, E. 1). Lobuto nut. .llkntown, and I/. Trexier, Alien:As:so. Executive Ncgro Al frill pis lo &atrium two White Girls. Sll4,llii' toile moon yv.iertlay, as a petite Pith named Kate titilespi. , , was walkine down Clark street, in the Eighth ward. cat rying on her arm a basket, she was stopped at the corner of Townsend street by a middle aged negro, who aso u dted and attempt at to outrage her. ;' . lo, screamed loudly, an I the fiend released her without itooosipliditt his base dosiens. lie Inirriedly walked away and by the time antismog! :mired he Was nowhere to h e (pike r Pattriek Flinn, being int' .rnied of the itecroe4 aetbit and beim: furn'-hed with a dc-eription, ito' ntefliately started in pursuit of' the offender. The negro rifler leaving the girl it appease, wended his way up Clark Awe , . where he -aw a little girl playing in a road attached b , a dwelling, near Fulton street. He asked the gni for a drink. and followed her into the house, and before the child could answer he caught and attempted to outruc her. : 4 1te called 14 help awl her mother, who was up stairs, immediately ran down to her assistance, when the negro fled. Ile bad not gone far from the house until officer Flinn Vallit! Mil he immediately took hint into custody, and conducted him to the lock-up. The firsts named girl is sive') years of Zip.., while the latter is but thirteen. We could not learn the Halme of the second girl. but us an fOrtitaiioll will prubahly be made against the tteensed, it is the name will then ho k-artted, The vierit, who. 4, Ham s is Jackson Johnson. , h , cs not deny that he attempted the ontrage. but on the other hand ect&—sed to it. and in extenuation of his crime state• that he was intoxicated els e he would net have committed it. The nes taro was drunk when brought in, and his manner after he had I.,am d in the veil would lead one to supple, , that he was crazy. Whether this was real or just put en for the occasion we are not prepared to say, hut ad mitting that be is crazy he should be placed ou t o f harms tray. fhe is sane, he sic odd receive thepunishancut he deserves. tie i+ now in the lock up.—Piftsimr,9 'tamereiol WO° SToLn THE PApEas, on BrRNEI TILE ittiOittlP4,—lt will he remembered that when Stanton held the 'War Department LA spring by force and the aid of the. Rwl ieal Congress, it was Given out that in con. sequence of an apprehended I ,, aid from Mushy. twenty wagon loads of arms and amunition were rent one from the War Department, to Vieginia, ttero.s the Long Bridge, so as to be re,t.:y thr Mashy. But Mie.by never appeared, and the arms awl :munition never were hoard of It turns out now that all this was a trick to enable the Radicals to get away irotu the War I >cps:rune:it some twenty loads of jet per and records which it was necessary to hide bel'ore Stanton gave up the Depart ment to a Johnsen man. Vino these rt Tor& and rapers contained, it. is , inv to voi., They were the files of the Mogul arrests and itopri,onmeat.,, mused by the usurping tanton, and also evidence showing; where, about one hundred million dollars had been wasted and lost without au thority of lam Such i s the Radical rule. A Vacant lirsrlAND.—Apropos ur the eotkiligal relation itt Fratiee, the Fi'd,sei, tells this horrible : Madame X. was (lying. Him husband and sister were seated at the bedside. The sister wept. The husband motionless, his head bowed down, his eyes fixed on vacancy, seemed :d -sorbed in grief. All at owe, without throwing off the leth argy in which he was wrapt, ho addressed the sister of his wife. "31arinnolte," said he, "do you know the udilre , ,,s of Madame r ' "No ; why do you ask 7" "Oh, notil!tur, 'twits only that I was think• ing over the list Iteeple to he invited to the funeral, and a didn't wish to forget her," ll=l —.A girl in Heston who litol been discard ed by her lover swalluweil a pint of yeast, On being asked why she did it, she remark ed that her spirits were MI depressed that she wanted something to make them rise. ...A gentleman was praising the beautiful hair of a lady, when one of those precocious little Misses who always have a word to say, remarked : "I guess my hair would look as well if I took a, mueh care of it, !i n „... ma never olesp: in her hair." .7M1114:It 29. rTIIrI ftlf4j{a Ain- ltn a carpet.logger-- ' I've a brother Pea lawag— t o South to boast anh swtigto , r With an empty carpet hag Tq rob the whites ,f greenhavirc At l with the Wails to "hunk . ' lerl change my empty satchel For a full sole leather trunk. “:,otin" on "Cotts!ittitlton” For a "late coh-llimts State," Awl 1'm.!..0t00." no porm,euti.mm r diAorti inch I ham, I'm "-m!" ou tiim.fer ntentitm4 'hell white rolk, ain't ohont, Intoom tho tiimmr mihz. lout Omit itmrum don't know th, fr. I'm nn a Conyt nt n I draw an "X' per day, A n d to al adjournments, If I only drlw my pay. I 1 1, Wit down Who l e r o nr months I kept my scat, And I Lid a !wary tax Ott All you wear, and think. and I.l'nt rpm Th, %.,Nt nay killed I am 3 tny , r, ‘ 1 ,4 nr“ tint 611 ,, i; All my n fl boon :1••Ilt rnf An «14 ,, ti ,, tolnintx rarou,•ll ), A ui,ll I NVZIS tur bum A Li mi.: um, of Kruttlyky, at a board.- -rovitit , l as follows to a How crow Itry Patin anwreaw'aw r 9a iniert,tl,ll4 "31v ;At PAP. I Isas ri fiat giaEi to hear front you, ItIA that yuti well but I did taut I,L, it a lilt to ht 3r that mother had a baby, houtase it ma, a boy. I should be glad if it wi , r,.! a little girl, but r hate hop they are not nice. Now I am going to toil you what I want you to name him. lam . , • itla to) elan ett homely name, bee cause I don't think boys ought to hav e pretty names. are squalling all the time. You don't have one minut e 's peace while there is a boy baby in the house ; but a girl halo is a good thing to have in the house, for it never rries. Name hint Yuba Dam; that's yool enough for a buy. You must excuse me lor writing so much about boys ; the rte-:•n I wrote so much about boys is bosintu-e like love to 1113, and tell her I hole she will the twin.) ut xt time." Pen sand Sclyiors. • N& ~ ;p•ba :,tanige ...A raliii,ttlia .b.t.tmr tho tt:.o of tu- Iraee will proilum *...A .r ~ o venty•tlavo now (baulk:his -hirt collars 'art; titmontimtio-- They thatch wou&lcn heads. who tooistol tl,iat lie coubi, preach without ?roan bank ...11 . 11tt the liad4 awk ca , ll other to take ,Iriok. they :•ay : codunie chant's ...Green Ilvilitivs arc in vmme just now among the female sex. Political candidates wear them to catch , be Fenian vote. ...Two thin shoes tnalic ona cold—two colds one attack of bronchitis—two attacks of bronchitis one mahogany vain. ...To a-certain whether a ' , roman is pas ,ionate or not take a muddy doe into her parlor, or /111,20 u mouths at her baby. do as the sun does—look at the bright side ofoverythiug. For while it is kt , t as cheap, it is three. ,1:13 , ,, as good fur .A I)einocratiu nianutiscturur of earpet hags ileelarua that he will rote for Seymour and Blair. although be fears that their elee tiun ruin his business. ...It is Kti,l that twouy•five preachers were, pres.mt at a recent Grant meeting iu Ohio. Preaelwrs are prt , ent at executions, but that does not NOT the criminal. ....*The smiles of 6%10 are exceedingly pleasant," but we know many people who have good, homes, who prefer "AMling" with a friend, outside, ...The funniest thing yet is the rendering by a darkey of the loners on the t}rant and Colfax streamer attaehed to a pole—Grunt and ',toted ale... ...The Springfield (3liv.s. ) llfika/dieon fearful that tho Ilimmeratio party may be - galvanized into rampant life." Tho thing dues look a good deal that way, —"Why," said a physician to hi:4 intew ilerate neighbor, "don't you stake that you will go so far and no farther?" "I do," re plied the other, "but I get drunk before 1 get to it." ...A gentleman presented a lace collar to the object of his adoration, and in a jocular way said, - Do not let any one else rumple it." - No, dear," said the lady, will take it off.'' ...When you see a man on a moonlight night trying to emtvince his shadow that it is improper to tallow a gentleman, you may be sure it is higl“itne for hind to join the load Templar& ..."I say, Pompey," said one Freedman to another, "ilia chile has tried lots or girt Fairs and dugs for a prize, but nelber could draw anything at all." "I'Velt l'easar, 'vise von to try n hand cart ; t.ho elninees are 111113.7110 to QUO dat you could draw dat." .. At one of cur hotels thy landlord said to a b33lNler : "/ty In r:', the chambermaid Ilcind a hair pin in your bed this morning." ‘Vell," replied the boarder, "I found a Ina: hair in the butter this morning, but it n lacy,. that thkrr wary a femad,