CHRONICLE LEWIS BURG Volume VH, tfamher 18. E C. fflCKOK, JEdltor. a N. WOMEN, Printer. LEWISBURG, UNION CO., PA., JULY 81, 1850 Whole Number 330. The tcwlsbarg Chronicle U issued ever; Wednesday morniog it Lewisburg, Union county, Pennsylvania. Tuns. $1,50 per year, for cah actually In advance: $1.75. paid within three month; $2 if paid within the tear; $2,50 if not paid before ik. ..... .i.,.. mole numbers. 5 cent. Sub- scription (or aix monthi or lee to be paid in "j t.i..,iiamenu handsomely inserted at 50 et. per square one week. $1 for month, and $5 fur tL J 7 : Mercantile advertisements not eiceeoing one-iomm ui "". i"ji .. r ,L f . l A Casual advertisement and Job work to De paid for when handed in or delivered. All cammunication by mail nut come post paid, accompanied bv the addrea of the writer, to ifceive attention. Those relating exclusively to the Editorial Department to be directed to H. C. Kit KOK, Esq., bailor and nil on business to be ,J Irrced to the PublUher. II Tic. Market St. between Second and Third ). X. WORDEX. Printer and Publisher., Give Every Day. I., t in gie something, every day, I'or one another' weal, A woiJ, to make lite pliwuny gay, t)r the cru hed spirit heal ; A look, that to the heart can apeak II him that' poor and old, A tear for her o'er hoe wan check So many a stream has rolled. The objects of our love and care In every paih wc sre, A nd when they ask a simple prayer, O. can ne selfish he. And lurn away, with hiughly thrust, A if the !od above Were partial to our pamr.errj dust, And only lis did love ! 1 A t u pie something every day. To roiufiirt and to direr, Tis not for gold alone ihey pray V hoe cries sound on the ear ; 'J'hiy ark fur kinduets in our speech A tendeincfs of heart That to the (eeling soul doth roach, And namiili and life impart. We m can give the poor, the weak. And be an ani;i-l guest; How mii.II a thing to smile, to speak. And make tl.e wretched, blest ! There favors let us i.L bestow, 'thus scatter joy afmad. And make the vales of sorrow glow With the tsnt smile of dud ! Land Monopoly. his last blessing ; they were brought to Hitherto the majority of mankind ho j by mother; and again taken to l.ave tilled the ranh, have been slaves or j eir home. The Austrian executioner t. t.auts. Thesoil has been owned by kings, ) (flaynau) had long since commenced his nnd the military chiefiains and nobles, and 'bloody work. Kossuth, and those with t,v tluni rented to landlords. nd hv them' him, fled toward the Turkish frontier lo to still smaller dealer-, and by these nain it has been divided and sub-divided, until: the majority who have paid, sustained by the sweat ol their brow, not only their own ( unities, but three or four orders of society iiUive them ; while thev themselves have i u. i ,.a i: i ,. ... - . ,lJ IIV..U 111! Ilia U1IIUCI9 Ul dial VIIIUII , 111 hi knessofa c k, auJ often a single da', rendering them paupers. The same monopoly of the soil has sent another large class of the community into : ..ip:. I . - i. . manuiaciunng rsiaiuisiiiriems, to worn uuij their days in ignorance and hopeless pov r:y; and another to the army and navy,; , . . ...!, u r 1 1 where honor and wealth await a Few ana, ignorance and an early grave the many. The cunscqueneeoi excluding such mem bers from the position and the healthful cultivation of the soil, has been ignorance.! reckless indifrereuce,turbulence,and crime.) Tortured by their impressions and unre- j strained by moral principle, they have been prepared for desperate deeds. Such a state of society can not be made happy; the evil is radical, and can only be remedied by giving a new direction lo the physical, mo ral, and intellectual energies of man. VVe might as well band with iron the the trees of .the forest, and expect their expansion, or throw upon I hem in stinted measure the light and rain of heaven, and expect their luxuriant growth, as to cramp the human mind by unequal institutions, and expect the developement of its resources in a hap py slate of society. Room for action must be afforded, and light must be poured upon the understanding,and motive pressed upon the heart Buttoaccomplisbthisthe earth must be owned by those who will till it. This will give action to industry, vigor to ihe body, tone to the mind, and, by at tendant blessing of heaven,religion to the heart. From agriculture, stimulated by personal rights, will result commerce, sci ence, arts, liberty, and independence. The attraction of gravity is the great principle of motion in the material world ; and the possession of the earth in fee sim ple by the cultivator is the great principle of action in the moral world. Nearly all the political evils which have afflicted man. kind have resulted from the unrighteous monopoly of the earth ; and ihe predicted renovation can never be accomplished un til this monopoly shall have passed away, and the earth is extensively tilled by the independenl owners ol the soil. Rev.Ly- man ueet her, u. D. The Dublin Evening Post calculates that there has been a decrease of population in Ireland, since 1841, by deaths and by emi gration to America and to England, of at least ihrtt million). Catholic clergymen concur in the statement that there have been but few marriages or births for the four years past. Perhaps exaggerated, yet what a mouroal national spectacle is here presented : The Wanderings of the Wife of Kossuth. At the lime when all was lost to the Hungarians, and each had lo seek his own snlety ir. flight, Gov. Kossuth and his !ady, who had accompanied her Husband mro ou, fne wafi thought it best to separate, in -f hie. be saved.lor the sake of their children. j ho fc d ,eft on(j protecljon of ' their grandmother. The Governor deter- ' 1 . L I I C ' nunea io rrmnui wiin nis orate nnii-crs, still with him. and to share their fate. Madame K. informed her husband and female friend, the wife of en effieer, where she would endeavor to seek safety; and as every moment was precious, this delicate lady quickly clothed herself as a beggar ; her husband gave her his signet ring, and the seal of the government of Hungary, that these might be a passport for her in ; the event of her meeting with those who mere friendly to their cause. Without any clothes except those on her back, she com mencrd her sad and fatiguing journey, on foot. She traveled long experiencing all j kinds of hardships.privations, and dangers. hen stopped by Austrian or Russian guards, she feigned extreme old age, and said she was in search of a little grandson who had got lost in the last war ; so they let her pin--, little knowing the value of the ' prize they had in their bloody hands. Thus she continued on, until she reached ! an extensive pasture country, uninhabited, : except by herdsmen, almost as void of Intel . Itct as the herds they guarded. Here she ' sought and found a resting place. These I poor serfs made her a fresh bed of straw, covered her with the cleanest sheepskins, 1 and fed her with their brown bread, here ! she remained three months, during which ! time the win'er came on, and having but j little covering, you may easily conceive ' how intensely she must have suffered. Gov. ; Kossuth had sent for his children, lhat he might take leave of them, and give them the fortress of W'idden. We can not enumerate all the sufferings, losses, ind anguish experienced by these unfortunate men during their flight ; most of them, however.reached Widden. They were no sooner there, than their first tho'ts were oi maam nossutn Madam Kossuth, and her friend, the wife nf the officer to whom she had communicated the place of her intended concealment, determined to seek and find her, if she was still alive. She set out on her weary journey, habited in a similar guise as that of Madam Kossuth as a beggar and thus she passed the soldiers snrl triiarde nf ihp pnr-mv. until she) reached t the hiding place of her friend, who had " ... I been the companion ol her youth and hap- pier days ; and now they were to encoun- ter new dangers. The herdsmen built them a little cart, and gave them a horse, as Madam Kossuth, worn out by anxiety, privations and suffer ings, was no longer able to walk ; the roads had now become almost impassable, narrow and slippery on the sides of the mountains; one false step would have plunged ihem down into an almost bottom less abyss ; but with the gallows in their rear, and their husbands before them, hope gave them courage, and onward they went. We know not what length of time they oc cupied in their journey ; but, as it was in winter, and they had often to conceal them selves in clefts of rocks and overhanging mountains, from the scouts of the enemy, it must have been a long and weary one, and, when discovered, they passed for beggars, and asked for bread from their blood thirsty foes. Thev ultimately reached the town of Belgrade, where they expected to find their husbands, and a termination of their suf ferings. Imagine, then, their feelings of disappointment, when they learned that not a Hungarian was there all had been removed lo Shumla. What was tiow to be done ! They were worn out, and could proceed no farther. Hope even had forsaken them. No husband to embrace, no friends to welcome them. They deci ded to throw themselves upon the humani ty of ihe Sardinian Consul ; they knocked at his door, w hich was opened by ihe Con sul himself. Two beecar women stood before him, the pictures of misery and woe. He saked them what they wanted. They answered, rood and shelter." lie re quested them to come in. Then the officer's lady introduced him to Madam Kossuth, wife ol the President of Hungary. He could not believe it, until she took out the signet ring and teal of the Government of Hungary. What followed can easily be conjectured. They were received and treated according to their rank by the kind-hearted consul ; and after they were sufficiently rested, ha made known their case to the Prince of Servia, who sent them his carriage-and-four, with an escort, to take them to Shumla. The weather was terribly cold, and Ihe roads as bad as they could be ; but they ultimately ar rived in safely. Cape bland. Our friend Masser, of the Sunbury Am -erican, is going it" at Cape Island. He has recently made a happy hit in free zing up luxuries'' for others, and why should he not luxuriate himself a little up on the proceeds ? We firm'y believe that the goodness of Providence provided such pla.-es as Cape Island for the resusiiation of poor, worn-outeditors, w ho know how to encounter its breakers by day, and who would dearly kve to enjoy its ' balmy breezes" by night but alas! the editoi's pocket ! a survey of lhat ' dread abyss of empty rocki," casts a gloom over all these fond anticipations. But, enough of that hear what Mr. Masser has to say : A breeze is constantly blowing from the ocean, enabling one to " keep cool," no matter how high the Mercury may rise in the thermometer. The beach is composed of pure white sand, and is almost as level and solid as a marble floor, and in the evening it was thronged with visitors prom enading. The hour for bathing, is gen erally from S to 6 P. M. The most excit ing and interesting scene is at 11 o'clock, when all the hotels put forth their crowds upon the beach, men, women, and children, young and old, from gray to gay. The bathers put on Iheir rigging in little sheds over huts, close to the water's edge. The gentlemen are generally attired in red flan nel shirts, and breeches of the same mate rial, barefooted and mostly bareheaded ; in their gambols in the water, they might, not inaptly, be compared to so many half bred Indians. The ladies in a loose flan nel wrapper, with a belt around the waist, and pants of the same material, and a course straw hat bound with red convey to the imagination a vivid idea of the gyp sies, as represented in the toy books of children, especially as they come tripping over the beach, barefooted and dripping with water, like so many half drowned rats. " Pretty feathers make a pretty biid," is an old maxim, but the converse is equally, if not more substantially, true. There is no poetry or romance in the bathing dre?s with the surf rolling over you. All distinctions seem leveled. The charms of a blooming Miss have few, il any, advantages over the furrowed checks of her eldest sisters. Even the poetry of a " pretty ankle" is lost in the absence of the stocking and the slipper. Shakespeare, when he said ' beauty unadorned, was ad orned the most' certainly had no reference to a lady in her bathing attire. One would hardly suppose the many fair forms, spark ling eyes and blooming cheeks, which you meet in the promenades and parlors during j the evening, were the same that had been wriggling like eels in the mud" on the beach. "Bathing in the surf is not only delight ful, but exhilerating. Few can look on without wishing to join in the truss. To watch the wave that has traversed the ocean for a thousand miles, until in its course it comes careering over your head, isa poetic reality that can not be described.'' If our delinquent subscribers would only think of our tvfferingt.Miner'M Journal. Be Jnst It is the highest glory in a man, to be the servant of his word. No one can be fickle and false in little matters, and yet remain influential and trust-worthy in concerns of a higher range. Trifles make up existence, and we can not maintain an honorable standing a single hour, if in those relations hich involve the honor and welfare of others, we presume in the slightest degree to sport with the law of veracity. Losing confidence on this ground, all is lost. " Lands mortgaged may return, and asore ssleesaed ; But boaastf, ones pawacd, is sw'er ndaenKd." Property gained thro' unrighteous means, is sure to be of little use lo its wicked pos sessor. With the power of a withering curse will it corrode the heart and hands of the unjust, or speedily revert to those who ill with integrity subordinate it to the promotion of exalted ends. " He that by usury and unjust gain increaseth his sub stance, he shall gather it for him that will pity the poor." The sordid idolator of gold, discarding from his covetous soul everything that is "honest, just pure.lovely and of good report." toils slavishly for wealth, and his harvest at length falls into better hands : as Diodati says, "not inten ding anything of himself; but it is so done through God's secret providence." It is elsewhere said in Proverbs, He that is greedy of gain, troubleth his own house ; but he that hateth gifts, shall live." Lot. Achan, Saul, Ahab.Gehazi, Jeboiakim and the Jews verified this saying in their own painful experience. Look at the ruinous speculations of our own day, and observe how frequently and disastrously the same principle is exempfijiei. Mftp.o, A Story of Human Nature. There once lived in an obscure town in Massachusetts, an old Indian woman. Some how or other, the old woman had accumulated quite a little property. Vet she was an Indian, and was treated with cool contempt by her neighbors. She had no seat at the sociul circle, received no at tention from those around her, occupied a buck pew at church, and down toward the grave she traveled without friend or com forter. Old Nance had but one friend living, that she knew of, and he a wild, graceless son. He was the terror of the village, and spent hi9 time in anything but a res pectab'e way. At last, the vagabond so worried the forbearance of his old mother, that in a hasty moment she resolved to disinherit him, and leave her money to the church. Accordingly she started for ihe house of one of the deacons, and made a clean breast of her troubles, and acquainted him with her determination. The deacon grew Iroin a cool to a very amiable mood as she proceeded, and, at last, became profuse in his expressions of gratitude. The will, through the agency of the dea con, was drawn, but the old woman, fee ling a little compunction, had a clause in serted, which should make it void, provi did the son would totally reform his habits. Secresy was enjoined upon the deacon, who said nothing about it, except to two or three friends, who, of course, spread it all over the village in the space of one day. But the change wrought in the situation of old Nance wns miraculous. ' Such a good old woman !' The nice bits from the best tables began to journey, under neat napkins, to her humble abode. On a rainy Sabbath, a carriage took her up at the door, and carried her to church, where she was kindly favored with a front pew, near the speaker, and near the stove. Her praise was in everybody's mouth, and her tottering form commanded respect every where. But she thrived remarkably un der this treatment, and lived, and lived. In the meantime, the son was looked upon with more than usual distrust, and the poor widow was deeply commiserated in his disgraceful course. Years past away, and the kind attentions of friend was still continued lo the widow, when, at last, old Nance slept the sleep that knows no waking. A large funeral, one of the largest the little village had ever seen, attended her to her grave in the quiet church-yard. There were tears shed over her bier, and benisons breathed upon her memory. The funeral was past. The Deacon, the Squire, and a number of village nota bles were gathered in her dwelling, and in one corner of the room sat the sad and lacj,u rn son. Squire,' said the Deacon, " I believe there is a will.'' "Will you have the goodness to read it P The will was produced. All were silent. The will was read.in which all the widows, property was bequeathed to the church. Many an eye sought the face of the prodi- gil son, but saw no change in his stolid features. When the reading was finished, the son arose, and drawing a piece of paper from his pocket, inquired the date of " that ar will !' The date was stated, and handing the Squire the paper, the portionless asked him to read it. Alas ! it was a will one day younger than the other. The fond mother in her weakness had told her son what she had done, and he managed to have . a will drawn twenty-four hours after the previous one, in which he was the sole legatee. The assembled wisdom and disinterest edness of the village went home thinking. and the son had the pleasant satisfaction of knowing thai his mother's last days were her best days. Reader, this is not fiction. Il is but an instance of our common natures, which. 1 similar developments, come before us ith humiliating frequency, alike in the lowest and highest walk of life. Spring field (Man ) Republican. Mom Ticb.li.io ofTkout. The Hal- lowell (Me.) Gazette mentions a new meth od of taking trout in that vicinity, similar to that practiced with success in England It says : " A gentleman, of unquestionable veracity, inlorms us that ne toox sixteen fine trout out of a brook by tickling their tails with his hand, and that he could have taken three times as many more if he had been disposed. In passing along, the gen tleman noticed a deep place in the water, over which were two or three loss. He could see the trout in clear water ro get ting on the logs and rolling up bis sleeves he cautiously put his hand in the water, and slightly rubbed the nail of his finger near the tail of the fish. The consequence was, ihey turned over on their backs in his hand, and he drew out tbe sixteen in two or three minutes.'" i ' ii .' h A Harriage without Courtship. ROMANCE WITHOUT FICTION. About three years ago, the Rev. R. S. McClay, of Concord, Franklin county Pa., (late of Gettysburg,) received a call from ihe Board of Foreign Missions connected with the Methodist Episcopal Church to visit China and preach the Gospel lo the benighted Celestials of the central flowery land. McClay was young, ardent and en thusiastic, and most willingly embraced the high and holy duty assigned him. In due time he arrived in China, and was stationed at Fau Chua, some seven hun dred miles in the interior from Hong Kong. There he studied the native language, and commenced his labor of love among the Celestials, with the most flattering success. Still there was something wanting a void in the heart to be filled he sighed for that best solace to man, either in weal or woe a wire. How to get one ? was an in tricate question to solve. There were no American ladies there from whom he could make a choice, and as for a Chinese wife, the laws of the land forbade it, neither did his inclination desire it. W hat was then to be done! A fertile imagination can ac complish wonders a firm determination can surmount difficulties that would "o'er- top old Pellion." He wrote to the Board of Missions on the subject he wrote in pathetic we might perhaps say poetic strains, of his lonely condition for the want of one on whom he could bestow his affec tions, and who would be ihe partner of his joys and sorrows through life, and ended by asking that the Board send him a young lady who would be willing to become his wife agreeable in his directions, which he sent in a form of a blank declaration to be filled up by the lady accepting the pro position. This was a novel proposition, but the Board was of opinion that it was a just one and proceeded with due diligence to search for the object desired, and strange to say, success crowned their effort. Some li.iie previous to the receipt of Mr. McClay's letter, a young lady, Miss Henrietta Sperry.of Brooklin N. Y., made application to the Board to be sent as a missionary to China, but was refused on account of being unmarried. To her the application of Mr. McClay was shown ; she at once filled up the blank application, and a correspondence ensued ending in her leaving New York in company with a number of other missionaries, on the 12th of March last, in the ship Tartar, for Hong Kong, where she will be met by Mr. Mc Clay, and the nuptial ceremony will be solemnized. The lady's personal attractions have been described to us, by one who had the pleasure of seeing her previous to taking ail on her mission of love. She is des cribed as being beautiful and fascinating in her appearance, and possessed of that charm of loveliness which should adorn every female character a well cultivated mind, stored with the richest gifts of knowl edge from the fountain of education, and a moral refinement which will bear with it the jewel of a bright inheritance beyond the confines of time. She is now on the dark blue sea, where ' the hollow oak" her home must be for at least half a year. Who so dead to all fee ling not to admire such heroism? a young and lovely girl, forsaking home, friends, and all the dearest ties of earth to travel thousand of miles over the stormy billows. to dwell perhaps for ever among Heathen, for the double purpose of affording conso lation to the servant of God, and aid in spreading the light among those who walk in darkness, is at once a moral and sublime undertaking, requiring a degree of devot edness and firmness that will compare fa vorably with the self-denial of ihe Spartan woman of old. Heaven send propitious gales to wad the Tartar to her destination. Who can- doubt but a- union formed under such circumstances- mast be a happy one Blair County Whig. Progress of Southern Factories. The progress America is making in the consumption of cotton.appears to be entirely overlooked by ihe European dealers. From official returns by our Sec. Jf the Treas'y it appears that Ihe number of cotton facto ries, spindles, capital and quantity of cot toff consumed in four Southern States, i the year 1849, were as follows : Stale. rarteric. Spindles. Capital. Bales asrd. TrSDrurs 30 3S.000 SlOO.OnO' 12,Oflo A 1 shams M 18,000 tno.raxt iJM Gronri 3S 51,140 121,000 IT .SCO Sooth Carolina 16 36XW 1,000,000 1&.0U0 Total Ut 141,60 $l,;21,0CO 30,000 Besides numerous ethers in various parts of the country. It ia only a short time since cotton was manufactured at the South, the business being confined almost wholly to the Eastern States. Harrisburg 'Union.' Tell your Father," said the eccentric John Randolph to a young friend, " that I recommend abstinence from novel reading and whiskey punch. Depend upon it, sir, tbey are both equally injurious to the brain." No doubt of it, sir. Sorrow. . Irfte ha deep secrets.? and h hear' are few That treasure not a sorrow from the world Some sorrow silent, gloomy, and unknown, Vet coloring the future from the past. We see the eye subdued, Ihe practised sm le. The word well weighed before it pas the lip. And know not of Ihe misery within : Yet there il works incessantly, and tears The time to come ; fpr time is terrible, Avenging, and betraying. Woman's Patience. How strange lhat llief patience of Job should be considered so remarkable, when there are so many mothers in ihe world, whose patience equals, if it does - not exceed his ! What would Job have done had he been compelled to sit in the house and sew and knit, and nurse the children, and see that hundreds of things were attended to during the day, and hear children cry, fret, and complain 1 Or how would he have stood it if like some poor women, ho had been obliged to rear a family of ten or twelve chilJren, wiihou' help, spending months, years all the prime of life in washing, scouring, scrub-i ing, mending, cooking, nursing children, fastened to the house and his otTspring Irom morning till night, and from night till morning, sick or well, in storm or sun shine, his nights often rendered miserable j by watching over his children? now could he have stood all this, and, 111 addi tion to all other troubles, the curses, and even violence nf a drunken companion ? How could hehave felt after wearing out his very existence for his tender offspring and a worthless comoanion to be abused htnmJ t l.,b. nrl.,t hi. toiU nnd! losses very well for ajshort time, but they did not endure long enough to test the length of patience. Woman tests her pa tience by a whole life of trials, and she does not grumble at her burdens. We are honestly of the opinion that woman has more patience than Job ; and. instead of saying, " The patience of Jobe," we should the palienceof woman RCXABKABLE Puenomeson. On the IStb ult., at Two Heart River on the southern shore of Lake Superior, land sud denly rose out of the water. The new island is round, and about one hundred and fitly feet in circumference, and is raised above the water six feet, and the rise on the beach, which is wide at this place, is about the same size, and looks like a hiil- lock of sand. The new island was at hrst covered with sand and pebbles, like the bottom of the lake, but the waves have dashed over it since, and washed it down to a black clay. The water was about five feet deep where the ialanl was formed, and a boat had passed over the very spot not five minutes before its formation. A few rods from the beach, back on the rise of ground, a great depression of the earth took place, as remarkable as the upheaving I in the water. A circular spot of ground, some fifty rods in circumference, covered with trees, was suddenly sunk down toi the depth of twenty feet below the surface, j No agitation of the earth.or shock or noise , took place, and the cause must have been much less powerful than the internal con vulsions of the earth that usually accompa ny such phenomena. A Pazzle. In the very first week of the world I was made. Vl nnt viven ta Adam or F!ve. it is aai.l . I TW etrange it ia true, lhat all women hae ainee j With my presence been troubled, I've mads ihi-m 1 all wince, j For I never have spared either wanton, or wife, . Or the widow. I never was seen in my life ! To atay where re heartsease, joy, mirth or delight, i Yet Ihe wicked I rightly torment day and nighL I am not mere vision, tho' never in sight j I I am always in war ever where there i wealth, i I sm never in unison never in health ; j a a a .t-v l s in ine woona oi eacn aworu, wo never in ueam. And I follow the arrow if aimed to take breath, I much doubt if Minerva my presence ere felt. With wisdom, 'Us certain. I often have dwelt. I live with the wretch in bi woe and his want ! Bat the Indaio disdain me. 'tis part of bis law, Tho', lo balance, I oft visit wigwam and aquaw ; So lo those who think Ihey me cm define, I live in flaw embodied in twice. How to Rain a Son. 1st. Let him have his own way. 2d. Allow him the free ue of money. 3d. Permit him to roam where hei pleases on the Sabbath. 4th. Uivo him lull access 10 unprinci pled company. 5th. Call nira lo no account 01 nis eve nings. 6th. Furnish him with no stated em ployment. Pursue either of these ways, and yo will experience a most marvelous deliver ance, or will have to mourn over a de based and ruined son. Thousands have realized ihe sad results, and have gone to j the grave mourning. j Abner Smi'h, from. Massachusetts, dieJ Crime, for tbe most part the result of j at Cincinnati, from the bite of an alliga iguorance, eosia England seven hundred j tor he was exhibiting. and ntty mousanu ruumw ,c-r,,..u .ur, the removal ol ignorance, sne gives some thing less than a hundred and fifty-thousand After a drought of fiveyears,ihe province of Murcia, in Spain.was visited in May last by copious showers of rain. Never Fret over the errors of the past ; but regard them as the dross of life and monitors of the future. tDit ani )nmov. Bound to Shine. A young man of oof very prepossessing moral character, lately proposed uniting wiin'a church in Connect icut, but neither his present nor prospective piety give moral power to his application. i At len 4th, after a long delay, the candidate :ndly informed that .of the present 1 was k i 'he church declined his proposal, with the i hope however that his future course might ere long warrant his reception. The hope- ! M rejected wes at first astounded, but as a j happy thought struck him he turned on his heel and exclaimed wills' a significant snap of the finger, " Via!, if j:til Kvnt let me Jine your t'h-irth, IkrJri what I con do rw 'lift iut't the Troop, lif Jam !" DoLEFl'L, trilv. A Jersey pajirr tel!- of a mini in its 'Burg who while reading a borrowed paper, came across a bit of an article he did not like, and forthwith burst into a fa of Lamentations which Jeremiah might have envied, because he could not go and tell the Editor, 'Siop my leaner !" Mural Take the paper! :V if the editor should dare publish anything your maj-sty may 00! deign to approve, you can march up like a fool.and 'Stop my piper '.' Misic vs. Physic. In Lowell, III., a couple were recently married, and in the. evening the rowdies of the neighborhood collected and cliericaritd the party, firing guns and pistols and niaking all manner of hideous sounds ; at length cake was handed around to the outsiders, each cake contait: ing a portion ol tartar emetic. The conse quence was, that the music of sheep and cow bells was soon exchanged for what can be better imagined than described. A man started for California by the overlun d route, with his effects in a tchttl barrow. lie is spoken of in Ike Western papers, and his doings chronicled, under the name of the wheel barrow enigranui When last heard from, he wa beyond New Fort Kearney, three hundred miles from his starting place, rolling on in fine health and spirits. If tint man lives we shall see him one d?y, " icfling back" to Congress. S '- low eKsns-oblc tbe wind Is In post ing,'' said an old lady a friend of Mrs. Partington "It is the changeablest thing I ever did see. When I went op Wash ington it was Llowui' in my free ; an I when I turned logo down, djn't you think it went to blow ing on my back V --- - - y A New York correspondent of the Phil adelphia Inquirer says : "I uhderstan'I that Mr. Forrest, the American tragedian, has not abandoned the s'age." True he has abandoned nothing totally, except his wife and himself.- Tuniret Blade. M:ih Th.minoth.' said a lisping little urchin of five, "I'm alwayth real glad hen vou come a vithitina to our bourn." Are you, my little dear you are fcri f me ln(.n ?" No, that ain't it, Mith Thiinninih ; b-il Vau:k then we alwayth have two kinds nf pieth." If you wish to have enemies, just rise io the world. Nobody throws cats at a bil- j loon till it leaves the ground. Talk as you i mav. men will ilsiniv what ihev can not j j imitate. ? ". '". . 'ar" hoiled eggs are said lobe a ctre for love. They lie so heavy on the slom- ach, as to make the poor sufferer forget . r the wetg.it on Ins heart. ' - " Oh, dear !' Slid a city girl, when shn ht-held a whole cucumber for the first time ,. . . ,, .. ,,:-, I Ul.flS liiJU It lliai 9UI.II l.lllV grew in slices " W'kkfd, To presisl in kissing a young girl when she resolutely declares she wish es yotr r.nt t. It looks ?s though you doubted her word. The Trumbull Democrat says the "man who has no time lo read the piper," was seen in that place, last month, at the Cir cus, drunk ! Why is a good sermon like a kiss 7 Dj you give it up ? Because it only requires two heads and an application. If you don't know what to do with your sell this hot weather, angle for flics. N7 diffiVnlty in getting a bite. A crazy old woman has frrghtened tho Albanians cut of a year's growth by pro phesying a turrible storm? The most uninlormedt amente ,,, upon earth, can readily rk-tec! a wicket spirit in others-. The Thermometer, like Senator Footr, of Mis?. kept "rising in its plactj" air last week. Why is a pig's tail like a carving knife Because it is flourished over a ham. .-T r - r--.