The compiler. (Gettysburg, Pa.) 1857-1866, May 07, 1860, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    MM:U!Nit. ;
Tk• Comm is published rrery Monday
moraine, by aIISIT J. STASIS, at $1 75 per
manna if paid strictly zsr anrascs-42 00 per
anima If not paid in adrance. No subscription
discontinued, unless at the option of the pub-
Lleber, ascii all arrearsges are paid.
ADVIZTIIIIIMITS inserted at the weal HAIL
Jos PAISTIMIG done with neatness and dis-
Orrice in Eolith Hl!kimono street, directly
opposite Waraplers' Tinning it,stablistneat--
Courtzsz" on the sign.
D. McConaughy,
TTORN EY AT LAW, (office one door west
of Bnehler's drag and book store,Cham
ersacirg street,) A.TTORIIT LID SOLICITOR FOR
PATSITI AID Paystoss. Bounty Land War
rants, Back-pay suspended Claims, and all
other claims against the Government at Wash
ington, D. C.; also American Claims in England.
Land Warrants located and sold, or bought, and
highest prices given. Agents engaged In lo
cating warrants in lowa, Illinois and other
western States. Mir Apply to him personally
or by letter.
Gettysburg, Nov. 21, '53.
J. C. Neely,
AisTTOTINF.Y AT LAW, will attend to collec
tions and all other business intrusted to
care u ith promptness. Office in the S. E.
corner of the Diamond. , formerly occupied by
Wm. B. M,Clellan, Esq )
Gettysburg, April 11, 1859. tf
Wrn. B. McClellan,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.—Office in West Mid
dle street, one door west of the new
Court House.
Gettysburg, Nor. 14, 1859.
Wm. A. Duncan,
A TTORNEY AT LAW.—Office in the North
west corner of Centre Square, Gettysburg,
[Oct. 3,1859. tf
A. J. Cover,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, will promptly attend
to Collections and all other business en
trusted to him. Office between Fahnestocks'
and Danner k Ziegler's Stores, Baltimore street,
Gettysburg, Pa. [Sept. 5, 1859.
Edward B. Buehler,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, will fnithfullY and
promptly attend to all business entrusted
to atm. He speaks the German language.—
Office at the same place, in South Baltimore
street, near Forney's drug store, and nearly
opposite Danner k Ziegler's store.
Gettysburg, Burch 2U.
Dr. A. W. Dorsey,
yisoRMERLY of Carroll county, Md., having
permanentiy located in Gettysburg, o ff ers
professional services to the citizens of the
town and surrounding country in the practice of
the various branches of his profession. Office
and residence, Baltimore street, next door to
The Compiler office, where be may be found at
all times when not professionally engaged.
sicressscss.
Prof. nthan R. Smith, Baltimore, Md.
Rer. Augustus Webster, D. D., Baltimore Md
Dr. J. L. Warfield, Westminster, Md.
Dr. W. A. Mathias, , " 4/
Jacob Reese, Esq., " la
John K. Loaxwell,Esq., " al
Geo. E. Walspler, Esq. ea
Rev. Thomas Bowen, Gettysburg.
Oct. 25, 1858. 8m
J. Lawrence Hill, M. D.
AS his office one v ..
door west of the*" fty.
utheran church in
Chumbersburg street, and opposite Picking's
store, where those wishing to have any Dental
Operation performed are respectfully invited to
Reractaicaa : Drs. Horner, Rev. C. P.
Kraath, D. D , Rev. H. L. Baugher, D. D., Rev.
Prof. IL Jacobs, Prof. M. L. Stover.
Gettysburg, April 11, '53.
Just in Season !
Grs A CALL !—The undersigned have
jr just received from the cities an immense
stock of CLOTHS, CASSIMERES, CAKSINETS,
VESTINGS in all varieties, kc., suitable for the
season, which they offer to the public at ompre
csdentedly low rates.
" They ask a call,
To convince all "
of the truth of his assertion. No trouble to
show goods and give, prices. A large lot of
RE AD Y-11ADE CLOTIIING also sellingcheaper
than ever.
Garments made up for men and boys, as us
nal, in the rery best manner, and according to
any style desired. The work being done in
their own establishment, they are always en
abled to warrant it. Remember, their place of
business is the large and commodious room ad
joining Cobean k Culp's on Chambersburg
street. JACOBS k BRO.,
Sept. 19, 1859. Merchant Tailors.
New Periodical Store.
R w oO F F O R
REA E D VE I
N R G Y B O T D b , e
u n A d N e ' DAL rgn e
d L
moat respectfully announces to the reading
public that he has opened a new Periodical
Store and News Depot in the room recently oc
cupied for that purpose by Messrs. Aufhin
baugh k Son, in Carlisle street, a few doors
above the Washington House, where he is pre-
Fared to meet the wants and suit the tastes of
the literary world.
The city Dailies will be received and delivered
promptly. Ali the leading Magazines, Periodi
cals, Literary Journals, Pictorials, Sallllds,
Music, and in fact any and everything in the
News and Periodical line will be found at the
new establishment of
JOSEPH BHOADHEAD.
übscriptions to papers, magazines..tc.,
received at all times. Give us a call. J. B.
April 2, 1560. 3ci
Millinery Removed.
yj_r ISS MARIA BiiNNETT has removed her
Millinery establishment to the east side
of Baltimore street, directly opposite the old
stand. She has Bonnet Trimmings on hand,
And will also have ready-made Bonnets. The
latest fashions for Bonnets received. Work
done in the best manner, and according to the
newest styles.
Gettysburg, April 9, 1860.*
Another Arrival:
gG. C A.RR has just received another large
, stock of GROCERIES, GLASS pnd
LiubANSWARE, CHEESE, kc., to which he in
vites the attention of the public. He only asks
a call, convinced that be can satisfy every cus
tomer. Remember the place—York Street,
nearly opposite the " Globe Inn."
April 2, 1560.
Wall Paper! Wall Paper ! t
WE have just received from the city of
a
• New Yorklar g e assortment of Wall
Paper of the newest patterns and designs.—
Glazed, Marble and Oak, velvet and plain bor
der, decoration, fire board prints and window
shades. Wall Paper from 8 cents per piece and
upwards. B. F. IdgfLEULNY.
March 28, 1160.
Shawls ! Shawls 1
AT SCHICK'S.
Broths, (long and square,)
Printed Cashmere Shawls,
Stella, Thibet, and Ds blue do.
April 16, 1880.
OUBBICEEPERK TAKE NOTICIL—Per.
.101. sons about going to Housekeeping can
sail a general assortment of ev *ng
taw!, at low prises et F GCBS'.
SILTS tpSHA roi zLissiroudi
Sio es si call "II
see
• J. C. QUINN it BROIL
Ostook -Of GROCKIII6B has been re.
pissisbaloisid wkich wilt be sold low at
.4.111 Ai• . • . A. SCOTT k Boni.
Ge—Gied asrpeting as 16 tents
IPutrar4llll4s4ll 7o ll 7. 8110.
MEM
Th inainnwili.—eingass „Jim. thi s
1 1.1 1 / 4 1411.64 *OA iliey tram at.
= ' VMS 141t011.
Pio‘ftw
BY H. J. STAHLE
42'..D.. YEAR. ---
u•
ADVERSITY.
IT T. lICLIZIT CNDZIWOOD
In hours of joy and wasteful ease,
What hosts of friends surround me 1
Admirers all, and keen to please,
How bright those hours have found me!
My words were counted as wisdom then,
And lovely women, and noble men,
Paid homage in the scribbler's den.
In hours of pain and rusting blight,
When want is wed to sorrow,—
Where are the friends I knew at night,
On that pernicious morsow?
The birds of hope their bright wings fold,
For the only bird, with flight so bold,
Is the eagle—stamped upon solid gold!
Those, whom I Mod up to fame,
In many a State and County—
Theme humbler friends, of lesser name,
With whom I shared my bounty—
All distant now A boundless sea
Forever rolls 'twizt them and me—
That ocean's name Is Poverty
The fair and bright—well, let them go;
The present need la real:
OLD AGS, at least, the truth will kn - ow,
Frvm Yotrra's severe ordeal I
Ah I Fancy may rust on her dusty shelf;
The cry of the Bard must be for pelf;
The soul of the Bard must be for sell
LUTHER LAPEL;
OR, THE WANT OF PUNCTUALITY
Luther Lapel was apprenticed to a
tailor, and, after seven years of faithful
attention to his master's service, set up
a shop for himself. Ile commenced
business under very' favorable auspices,
and everybody thonght that ho would
do well in the :world. Ile was a good
workman, had some money,con siderable
credit, and a great many friends.
But there was ono trait in Luther's
character,
which had nct previously
developed itself, and which was to prove
the rum of his hopes, and to disappoint
the expectations uf his friends—and
this was the want of Punctuality. And
hero let us observe, that no mechanic,
no tradesman, no person who depends
on the good opinion of,the public for a
livelihood, can expect to thrive without
the necessary virtue of punctuality.
Luther Lapel began to exhibit his
unfortunate trait—first, in disappoint
ing his customers of work ho had prom
ised; secondly, in disappointing those
with whom he had pecuniary
dealings; and generally, in not being
exact in the fnlfilmcnt of his promises
in the ordinary concerns oflife. This
was defri men tal in every way. Bydisap
pointing his customers of their promis
ed work, he lost business; by disappoint
ing 11:s creditors in the payment of
money, be lost credit; and by failing to
fulfil his promises in the miscellaneous
concerns of life, ho forfeited the general
confidence. Thus he lost business,
friends, and credit. But this was not
all. His want of punctuality not un
freqnently subjected him to the im
mediate loss of money, of time and of
labor.
For example, having promised a suit
of clothes to an alderman, who was to
dine on a certain public occasion,Luther
was half an boar too late; the turtle
soup was in danger of cooling, and the
alderman went to. dine in his old clothes.
The new suit was sent borne as soon_ as
finished, and the garments were all
well made ; bat the die was cast—the
alderman was vexed, as well he might
be, and tho clothes were returned upon
the tailor's hands. What was to be
done? The alderman being a man of
some twenty score weight, and of a
very peculiar configuration, the clothes
would fit no other person, and therefore
the tailor was obliged to keep them.—
The cloth was of the finest quality,
which, taken together with the uncom
mon quantity contained in the gar
ments, rendered the loss a severe oue.
Luther endeavored, by coaxing, and
by promises of greater punctuality in
future, to prevail upon the alderman to
take the clothes; but the official digni
tary was a mountain not to be moved.
From coaxing and promises Luther
proceeded to threats; but the man
mountain stood fast. Legal measures
were resorted to, and a suit at law was
brought to recover payment for the suit
of clothes. But it was very justly ar
gued by the defendant's counsel, that
half an hour " pudding time" was not
to be lost; and that, inasmuch as his
client was obliged to dine in his old
clothes or lose his dinner, it was but
just and fair that the plaintiff should
lose his suit. The jury were of the
same opinion. The, tailor appealed,
and the decision was confirmed. Thus,
in consequence of being half an hour too
late, Mr. Lapel not only lost the snit of
clothes, but much time and money into
the bargain. Ho of course lost the cus
tom of tho alderman ; and several other
lemen withdrew their patronage
through the alderman's influence.
But this misfortune did not cure him
of tardiness in the fulfilment of hie
promisee. A fond lover was obliged to
defer his happiness for the space of
twenty-four hours—an age to him—in
consequence of not receivinghis wedding
suit in season ; and though he did not
finally refuse the clothes, the recollec
tion of the last twenty-four hours, the
pouting of his mistress, and the laugh
of his friends, so chagrined him that
be repudiated Luther forever thereafter.
Another man lost his election to an
important office in consequence of at
tending apublic meeting in a thread
bare post, Tor the want of a new one
which Lather had promised. He was
expected to address the poople on the
occasion, and, indeed, hedid mount the
rostrum—bat his eloquence was sadly
marred 'by the consciousness of his
anabby appearance. He could not
spook in an old you, any more than a
Xneand can thoat *lg.
The attempt Will pkonashioeil•• to be a
THE -- COMPILER.
total failure; and the result was, that
in the coming election his rival carried
the tray. Hereupon the enraged poli
tician brought his action against the
tailor for the value of the office which
he had lost. The action was just, and
so it was charged by the bench; but by
one of those chances of law, whereby
justice is badly scandalized, a verdict
was rendered for the defendant. Nev
ertheless, the expense of defending the
suit left hire minus, at least one hun
dred dollars. But it would be useless
to enumerate tho cases in which Lu
ther's want of punctuality to his cus
tomers proved injurious to his interests.
In the payment of debts he was
equally negligent.. If ho had the money
in his possession, he generally cnntriv
od to put off the payment, until his
notes were protested, or his bills lodged
w4h a constable; so that, along with
the debt, ho was almost certain to pay
cost,
" Well, go back, and tell her I'll come
in a minute." He finished pressing the
seam, hastened to the house, and found
Mrs. Lapel so burnt that she survived
but a for hours.
The affair.t of poor Lapel were now
going fast to ruin. IL, credit was en
tirely gone, his customers had forsaken
him, his friends were estranged, his
matrimonial disappointments and mis
fortunes preyed upon his mind. -lie
became dissipated, shut up his shop;
and resolved to go to California. The
ship was to sail at eight o'clock on a
given morning, but Luther did not ar
rive atr The wharf, till nine, when, find
ing the vessel gone, he muttered some
thing about being always too late, and
in a sudden fit of despair, plunged head
long into the water and was drowned.
Mr-The following remarks by Han
nah Moore, so forcibly express our
views on the subject, that we give them
in lieu of anything further from our
self :
" When a man of sense comes to mar
ry, it is a companion whom he wants,
not an artist. It is not merely a caes
tare who can paint and play, sing and
dance—it is a being who can comfort
and counsel him—one who can reason
anti reflect, and feel and judge, and dis
course and discriminate--one who can
assist him in his affairs; lighten his sor
rows, purify his joys, strengthen his
principles and educate his children.
Bach is the woman who is fit for a
mother and mistress of a family. A
woman of the former description may
occasionally figure in drawing rooms,
and attract the admiration of the com
pany; but she is entirely unfit for a help
mate tos man, or to train up a child in
the way it should go. •
a ~,t, mantic, j eiro awl tamilt gonnal.
GETTYSBURG, PA.: MONDAY, MAY 7: 1860.
Luther bad a wealthy uncle residing
in Baltimore, who wrote to him, that if
ho would be at his house by a fxtrtain
day, lie would make him a present of a
thousand dollars. Luther determined
to go; but in conseqUence of being half
an hour too late in getting to the de
pot, the ears went on and left him.—
" Hang it!" said he,
as ho turned upon
his heel. what's the difference of one
day? I'll take care to be in season to
morrow." He did so—be reached Balti
more without any accident—but, alas!
the old gentleman, who was in excel
lent health the day previous, had gone
off in ihi apoplexy, a full hour before
the tailor arrived.
In almost every thing Luther Lapel
was too late. He was a regular atten
dant at church ; but as he seldom ar
rived until the middle of the discourse,
ho could make nothing of it; nor could
he find a seat, though ho took pains to
rent a pew at considerable .expense.—
He was always too late at meals, and
was thus obliged to take up with the
refuse of the table. The meat, if any
remained, was cold ;_ the coffee was
ditto, or run aground ; the toast had
disappeared; the butter was consumed
—in short, no alternative remained to
Luther but to make the best he could
of the scanty fragments that remained.
The tailor had a sore of military turn,
and few men looked better in regimen
tals than he; but he was generally on
the parade ground so lute as to incur a
fine. " Alas said he " a stitch in
time saves nine, but I .am always too
late in threading my needle."
Luther Lapei was a very personable
fellow to look at, and became quite a
(two") with the fair sex. Ile was also
it fellow of some spirit, and laid a siege
to the heart of a belle valued at ten
thousand_ dollars. His success was al
most beyond his hopes; for he took his
measures so well, that in a short time
the lady engaged to marry him. The
day was fixed, the wedding-cake was
made, the lady was arrayed in her best,
the bridesmaids were present, the
grooms-men were in waiting, the guests
bad assembled, and nothing but punc
tuality was wanting to make Mr. Lapel
the happiest man alive. But he was
so late in coming, that the loved one
got out of all patience; and before he
arrived, she bad struck ap a bargain,
and was married to ono.of the grooms
mon.
But, as we said just now, Luther
was a man of spirit, and, though but a
tailor, he called his rival to the field to
take an exchange of cold lead. The
grooms-man was at first considerably
frightened; but presently recollecting
the unfortunate trait of the tailor, he
mustered courage and accepted the
challenge. He was punctual to the
minute; but the discarded lover was
an boar too late, so ho lost the pleasure
of shooting his rival.
Luther tinnily rut married; but bis
wife was subject to fits, and he was ono
day , informed by his negro boy, that
" misses " had litllen into the fire. "In
the fire !" exclaimed the tailor, who
was just then pressing down a seam—
" in the fire ! did you say, Pomp ?"
" Yes, massa, she in de fire."
"TRUTT! IS MIOHTT, AND WILL PREVAIL."
Anecdote of Old LronsideL
The following anecdote is no doubt
familiar to many of our readers; but is
so well calculated to make the rising
generation proud of the noble spirits
who shed so much lustre on their coun
try's name during the ever memorable
war of 12+12, with the then proud mis
tress of the seas, that it will bear a re
pnblication at least once a year, as long
as patriots are able to subdue conspira
tors:
The moat brilliant naval action of the
last war was undoubtedly that of tho
old American frigate Constitution, (44,)
commanded by Commodore Stewart,
when she captured the two British cor
vettes, Cyane and Levant, of greatly
superior force, each of them being equal
to the old-fashioned thirty-three gun
frigates. The bandli ngof the American
frigate was throughout scientific and
unexceptional.
In no manmuvering could either of
the Britialieressels obtain a position to
rake the Constitution. Shift their
ground as they would, Old lronsides
was between them, blazing away upon
both vessels at tho same time. During
the whole action, Stewart, instead of
mounting the horse-blook, sat in a more
exposed situation astride of the ham
mock neltings, the better to observe the
monaiuveling of his antagonists. The
Cyano was the first to strike to Brother
Jonathan—not an unusual thing with
British vessels during that war. The
first, lieutenant came in haste 1.0 the
Commodore to announce the fact.
" The starboard ship has struck, sir,"
said the officer.
" 1 know it, sir," replied the Commo
dore. " battle is just half won."
"Shall I order the band to strike np
'Yankee Doodle,! sir?" inquired the lieu
tenant.
Here the Commodore took a hngh
pinch of snuff, and then answered quick
ly:
" Had we not better whip the other
first, sir?"
"Aye, aye, sir," replied the lieutenant,
taking the hint, and went to his quar
ters.
In a short time afterward the Levant
lowered the cross of Old England to the
stars and stripes, and the battle was
ended. The lieutenant being somewhat
rebuked at his -premature exultation
upon the surrender of the first vessel,
was rather shy of approaching his corn
manc:er again ; but Stewart, beckoning
to him, said with a emilo :
" Don't you think the hand had bet
ter strike up Yankee Doodle now, sir ?"
.In an instant that spirit-stirring
strain was floating in the breeze, played
as no other than a Yankee band can
play it, and the gallant crew shouted
forth their cheers of victory as no
other than a Yankee crew can shout.
A Very Neat Sell.—A friend of ours,
who prides himself upon his knowledge
of coins, was very badly sold by an ac
quaintance a day or two since. The
latter exhibited an American coin re
sembling the now quarter dollar, and
asked him if he could "distinguish
anything peculiar about it?"
"I cannot," he replied, " but why do
you ask ?"
"Because," replied the other, " they
can be had anywhere about, town for
twelve and thirteen cents."
"Is it possible 1" remarked the judge
of coins; " I thon3ht it felt soft I For
bow much did you say they could bo
bad?"
" For twelve and thirteen cents," re
plied the other.
" Ohl" °retained the victim, as tho
g sell' dawned upon him—" twelve and
thirteen make twenty-five." •
Fun at Hems.—Don't be afraid of a
little fun at home, good people 1 Don't
shut up your houses lest the sun should
fade your carpet, and your hearts, lest
a hearty laugh should shake down
some of the musty old cobwebs there !
If you want to ruin your eons, let them
think that all mirth and social enjoy
ment must be loft on tho threshhold
without when they come home at night.
When once a home is regarded as only
a place to eat, drink and sleep in, the
work is begun that ends in gambling
houses and degradation.
'Some amusing scones occurred at
the banquet given to the Japanese at
San Francisco. One California official,
in his an.xiety to gain some insight into
the Japanese vernacular, passed some
ice-cream to his left-hand neighbor,
with the words': " Snow, ice. Hey I
What-e-call urn in Japanese ?" To
which the gentleman from Joddo, not
understanding this very intelligible
medley, replied : "Belly good," and
continued to discuss the luscious com
pound.
/161 - An Alabama paper contains a
long story about a negro, a pilot on one
of the Chattahoochee river steamboats,
whose skin, it is stated, is changing
from a jet black to ;he fairest white.—
His neck and arms, as far as the fingers,
are of a smooth, soft, delicate whiteness,
that would rival that of the tenderest,
purest Circassian; while "his lips, aro
of a soft, ruddy hue, and his face and
body -are beginning to show the same
radical change." Barnum should get
him.
Sir An old lady in Ohio, while in the
woods., was bitten on the end of the
nose by a rattlesnake. The old lady
recovered but the snake died. Coron
er's yerdiot--"Poisoned by snuff."
ter Why has a clock a bashful ap
pftrance? Answer—Because it always
keeps its hands-before its face.
There is no arena in which vanity
displays itself under such a variety of
forms as in eonvorsation.
laiiMME=ilMl
Scene in the House
Punning Pstraordinnry.—While the
Prvor-Potter controversy WSS going on
in Washington, a vote of the House was
called upon some minor matters. When
Mr. Potter's name was called, an old
Dutch member from Pennsylvania, who
never takes up tune unless he has some
thing to say to the point, rose in his
place and excused Mr. Potter thus :
"Mishtor Sphcaker, I will shust say ash
how Mishter Potter has a`Pryor en
gagement," both sides of the House and
galleries united in art uproarious explo-
sion of mirth at the Hon. member's
sally of wit, and it was only checked to
be redoubled, when after the name of
Mr. Pryor was called, the same old
Hans arose and said : blishter
Spheaker, )tisbtcr Pryor Nu; gone to pe
ash clay - in to hands of to Potter." For
Immo momenta the scene in the House
was indescribable, and, (Or once, five
pounds bowie knives and' rifles were
at a discount.
Pockets.—What about a boy's dress is
ho more.proad of than his pockets?--
Does his mother forget to insert a pock
et in his apron. Sho is quickly remind
ed of it and obtains no peace until the
omission is srpplied. What mother
ever finished her boy's firdt pantaloons
without a pocket on either side. And
with his legs encased in the little ()loth
tubes, where aro his hands ? Has his
mother lost her thimble, where can she
tied it? Is anything over suffered to
lie loose on the floor, small enough- to
go into his pocket? And at a later
stage of life, when the world's goods be
gin to attract his attention:, and when a
decidedly human nature, commences
stealing over him, dud hid pockets are
larger, and ho has more of them are
they less used*? Let the following ex
position answer ;
A mother, in a neighboring village,
says sho emptied her hopeful son's
pocket the othevday, and the following
articles wore brought to light : Sixteen
marbles, ono top, an oyster shell, two
pieces of brick, ono doughnut, a piece
of a curry comb,, ono paint brush, three
wax ends, a handful of corn, a chisel,
two broken knives, a skatti strap, three
buckles, one ball, two primers, five hen's
eggs, and a birds nest. •
Mir The negro man, who was shipped
(in a box) in eliarge of Adams' Express
Company from Nashvil to to Cincinnati,
has expressed his desire to return to
his master. fl says the, kind-hearte d
individual, who concocted the pro
grammo for his journey, received from
him seventy dollars in cash, and a double
cased silver watch. Tho unfortunate
darkcy is unsparing in his denunciation
of the "poor white trash" who go to
the South to make money from the
Darkios under pretense of gettin g them
out of slavery.
Eruption of Norsemen.--It is stated
that 20,000 Swedes and Norwegians are
preparing to embark earlY in the com
ing summer for tho United States.—
They will bring Bauch Wealth wits
dim, but what is better, being a sober,
moral and industrious race, tbey will
bring with them habits of inditstry and
morality, which will render thorn rabbi
valuable citizens.
Old.—The Elmira Prose says that
there hi an elderly lady, residing in that
place, who has in her possession the re
'Mains of a piece of her own wedding
cake, whieb sho has preserired for forty
years I It is wrapped up in the same
piece of paper that was put around it
to "dream by" on the eight of her
wedding. Who knows but that the old
lady may be pmeerving it for hor wed
ding No. 2. •
Itir It was done 1116011 it was begun,
it was done when it. was half done, and
yet. it wasn't done, when It, was finish
ed. sow, what was it?' Of course,
you can't guess. Will this do ? Tim
othy Johnson courted Susan Dunn. It
was Dunn when it was begun; it was
Dunn when it was half done; aifd
wasn't Dunn when it was done—for it
was Johnson.
NaTA woman is either worth a great
deal or nothing. If good for nothing,
she is not worth getting jealous for ; if
she be a true woman, she will give no
cause for je..a►onsy. A man is a brute
to be jealous of a good woman--a fool
to be jealous of a worthless une; but is
a double fool to cut his throat fur either
of them.
A Marrying Woman.—New Orleans
boasts of a beardless (because female)
Bluebeard. This interesting lady was
married on the Bth instant to her eighth
husband. She has married every year
since 1852 ; each year one husband dies,
but. the widow loses no time in filling
his place.
Ileir England has some regard for her
dead soldiers and those of other nations!
A cargo of 237 tone of human bones
from Sevastopol tuts jusioarri ved. They
are to be used for manure ! 'Tie sweet
to die for one's country, and a pleasant
thought to elevate her honor abroad,
and then her corn at home!
Early Cherries.-1; is believed that
the magistrate who officiated on the
occasion reported below made the usual
deduction of "children half price :"
Married, in Cainpbelton, Fla., in the
store or William Daniel, Jr., on the 1 21st
of March, by James Hall, Erg., Master
Robert Cherry (aged 16 years,) to Miss
Josephine Gregory (aged L 3 years.)
wird person boing asked why he had
given his daughter in marriage to a
man with whom he was at enmity,
artevrered : "I did it out of pare ro.
yew."
ECM
TWO DOLLARS A-YEAR
How to Cleaa th% Teeth.
The following sensible remarks on
dentifrices and the manner of using
thorn, we find in tho December number
of the Dental Cosmos, from the pen of
S. S. Blodgett, D. 1). S., of Ogdensburg,
Now York. We commend them to the
consideration of our readers : " There
is, in my opinion, no dentifrice used so
baneful in its effect us charcoal. 11,
doubt if there is a dentist, with a fair
practice of ten years, but has seek
worse efft,cts from its use than from the
use of acids. .1 have had in my own
practice to insert three entire sot of
teeth, where the gums were destroyed,
and the teeth dropped out from the use
of charcoal. In two of these cases the
the gums are permanently discolored,
so there can be no mistake of its agen
cy.
" The effect of charcoal is purely
mechanical; it is as sharp as diamond
dust, and the finer, the worse in its ef
fects. Being perfectly insoluble in the
fluids of the mouth, it insinuates itself
between the neck of the tooth and the
gum, producing ulceration, recession,
and final lOss of the tooth itself. Next
to charcoal, in their bad effects upon
the teeth, are the various kinds of holes
and earths, under different high-sound
ing names, and popular as twits pow
ders.
" I would have my patients use no
kind of powder upon the teeth oftener
than two or three times a mouth; then
I would nut have them use the !mush
but take some finely prepared chalk,
and a stick of red cedar, 4rango or
hickory, (we should say soft white
pine,) and about three inches long
wedge shape, and from one-eighth to
ono-quarter inch wide; with this polish
the enamel, being careful not to irritate
or injure the gums.
"73he groat dentifrice that } should be
used at ail times, and under all circum
stances, ie soap. Its alkaline proper
ties serve to neutralize the acids con
tained in the fluids or the Mouth, and
its (dousing properties.will correct the
, breath, and remove offensive;odor soon
or than any article I haws ;ever seen
tried. I have seen the best effects from
its in use tenderness and inflammation
of the gums, denoting acid secretions,
and I have never known it to fail in its
results."
Restoring DamagedVelva.-4Tho Mon
itor de la Sand publishes the , following
method of restoring velvet to its original
condition : It is well known that when
velvet has been wet, not only , its ap
pearance is spoiled, but it becobris hard
and knotty. To restore its original
softness, it, must be thoroughly dampen
ed on the wrong side, and then held
over a very hot iron, care being taken
not to let it touch the latter. In a short
time the velvet becomes, as it wore,
now again. The theory of this is very
simple. The heat of the iron evaporates
through the tissue, and forces the vapor
out at the upper side; this vapor pass
ing through the different fibres, separ
ates those which adhered together in
hard bunches. If the velvet were iron
ed after damping, an exactly opposite
result would be obtained ; it is, there
fone,neces.sary that the au bs tan ce sh auk'
notoonte in contact with the heated iron.
Important to Letter Writers.—Thons
ands of letters mis-directed or never
called . for, annually find their way to
the dead letter office, at Washington.
The recently enacted law pPovples a
method for the return of all such let
ters by authorizing the writer to re
quest the postmaster of the office to
which the letter is addressed, to return
it unless called for within thirty days;
it then becomes the duty of the post
master to return it without expense to
the writer. The request c art be printed
or written on the flap of the envelope,
and should read as follows :
Postmaster of
Please return to the undersigned un
less called for within thirty days.
(Signed.)
Anecdote of Mr. Dattas.—Daring the
four years that. Mr. Dallas (as Vice
President) was Speaker of the Senate,
it happened that the two Senators from
Arkansas habitually pronounced the
name of that State in a different man
ner. The Speaker, observing this,
never failed to adopt the pronunciation
employed by the one whose name he
had occasion to call in the Senate, and
sail, " The Senator from Arkansas,' or
" The Senator from Arkansair," as the
case might require. There was a deli
cacy of politeness in this width none
but a gentleman could have conceived,and which every well-bred man will
appreciate.
/®-There are no two letters in the
manuscript alphabet of the English lan
guage which occasions so much miscon
struction as the two letters, I and J, as
many persons inadvertantly write them.
The rule for writinethem properly, and
which should be universally adopted, to
extend the J below _the line, while I
should be written above the line.
siir ,, Why," asked a little girl, "is
Fred like a man that has fallen otf a tree
and is determined to go np ?" " Be
cause be is going to try another clime I"
Not bad for an eight-year old.
Mirklever answers calumniator. If
you will only give a rattlesnake time
enough, he will stingibimsell and die
of his own venom.
sarblothing so mach prevents a per
son from being natural and easy, as an
extreme snidely to appear so; the self
possessed only are gracefaL__
ierTo be deprived of the LAW we
love is bappioes•in oompa ream oflivii4
with therooe vve hate.
1- I .
" —rre*tiwitiontalettgot
A biography—or what purports to be
one•s—of Alma* G. Citirrat i 11fe 103 ow
Nothing Republican cantritiste for GOY.
ernor, has been going the rounds & the
Republican press. According to the
papers which originated the canard, he
is descended from "ganef/4e Pesksylca
nict stock." Tbia happens .sot, toe be
true. We learn from the Boston Pilot
that Andrew G. Curtin is the son of an
Irishman—of " Rowland Curtin—born
and reared up to mature manhood in the
Parish of Dysart, county of Clare, Ira
land. Ho has more sacerdotal blood
in him than perhaps any man in the
United States : not long ago there were
twdve Priests of his blood and name
living at the same time, in the same
Diocese, in the great Catholic county
just, named. His direct uncle, Hugh
Curtin, one of the best horsemen in
Ireland, is yet living in the old family
establishment, and many of his cousins
—all Catholics to be sure—are disper
sed throughout this Republic." .So
much, then, for the Folksy I vasia origin.
But this is not all. Curtin_ wee a
rank, intolerant bigot in polities and ro
long before the inaugurattoit of
Low Nothingism. The genial _lrish
sprit of his ancestry seems never to
have had any exi,tence in his breast.
YJ man livin g
has divested himself more
completely of the natural feelings of
race, in all its good features , than An
drew G. Curtin. When the ".DArk
Lantern Party" sprung into being, this
man was foremost in the ranks. Be
was at, the top and bottom of it. itwas
chiefly through him (says tho same pa
per from which we quoted above) that
Pollock, the Know Nothing, was put
in the chair occupied by William Bigler,
the Democrat—a piece of serviee,whicla
secured for himself, during the admin
istration of that weak Exectitiyi.e, tke
Secretaryship of State; and it was also
mainly through h is supposed connivance
with-the Know Nothing School Dirgo
tors of Philadelphia, that they dared
to dismiss ono Morning, all the female
Catholic teachers from the pablio
schools - of the city.
NO. 48.
' Thu Pilot concludes its article by say
ing : "Such is Andrew G. Curtin, the
Know Nothing candidate for the Gov+ei•-
norship of the Keystone State Of the
'Union, in origin and political principles.
An Irishman's son, be does his boot to
destroy the political and religious rights
of his father's countrymen; a Boman
Catholic by birth, and having thb blood
of numerous Ciiiholic clergymen in his
verbs, he is tho foremost man of a league
that would repeat thoatrociticssof-Crora
well ; of certain and direct Irish -pa
rentage ho has tho meanness of allowing
himself to be represented as the scion
of another race—a degrading act of
insult to the sacred principles of gene
alogy, and of great deception ou his
friends; and as an American citizon,ho
is nimuted by no public principles but
th o that aro at once antagonistic antl
an verily() of, the Constitution .of tho
con u try." .
Mr. Curtin is now endeavoring to
txriciliate the foreign veto of the Stoke,
and isessaying to throw dust in the e,yes
of Irish and Germans by representing
himself as favorable to civil and religi
one liberty. But the record speaks
louder than words, and his professions
are worthless when con tractdd wittLhis
practice. It. is not denied that be was
the very head and front, of the Know
Nothing party in 1854 and 1855, and
there is nut a scintilla of evidence that
he has over recanted from the dange
rous and proscriptive doctrines he thee
advocated. Let our Gorman and Molt
friends bo careful how they entrust
power in such hauds.—Clinton.Demo4 at.
Corn Tarring.—lt is one of the best
preventives agaiNt crows, and Worms
and other pest of the farmer to tar
seed-corn when planting. Soak the
seed in' warm water till it is pimp,
and then the tar will not retard germi
nation. Put then about a giU of tar
to a gallon of hot water, and stir ilt till
the tar is melted and thoroughly mixed
with the water, and then poar.id as
much of the seed porn as yon else stir
about freely. Then take out the seed,
and coat it with plaster of Paris, or
dried leached ashes, or tine dry loim, or
dust. The proportion of tar to water
should be such that it should witt - the
corn perfettly with a very thin coat.—
No one who tars sued-cdrn will over
curse the crows. „,
The correspondent roininds
gas-tar is a little bettor than any other
kind for this purpose. Half la
cnuugh for a.tee acre field. It, ihoinhl
be well stirred in order that every grain
may re eire a portion, for if thebirti3
tiod ono grain without any, the" will
pull up IUU r.lort.i Co lied another ono.
They will not eat Uwe(' that aro Laried.
it's all orer Town.—One rainy ttty,
lately, a wag met a very bashful yiiang
lady* of his acquaintance, and, looking
her steadily in the eyos, said, - 3viyi
solemn ,onu of voice, "I am sorry fur
it., Miss —, bat everybody is &Ore
of it." " Aware of what ?" naked ,tbo
young lady,
over
a deep crimson.
" Oh, it's allover town." " Yirt4Voi all
over town ?" " Mud !" The yoing
lady's eyes dropped, and 6ho went vu
her way. ,
An Odd Ploughing
in Montgomery, Alabama, quitea crowd
assemblL d to witness a camel ploughing
match. To test the comparati ve
strength of the camel and melt oat of
the latter was obtained, and the '4l6n
test became quite spirited and exciting.
The result was decidedly it t>wswt of
the camel.
Sig-Many persons give us; L dping
words of great men, but poste lot &beta
are so touching and bewails& as the
last words of the old school .Anaeter :
It is growing dark—school. iww. be
dismissed. Down to -the gates-of an
unseen, world be carried the love and
rvgard of the children he bad trainod.
It, was hie last dismissaL
Swieehelm says that, ;the
popularity of her paper ia,litnattora is
due to the fact that "peoploare**ale
expecting she will bay amanita pthe
bugbt not to."
ifirAsk cby parse what thou:, ;•• st
ic
bay. We ased oars, the y,
what we should- boy. Batik: :;; est
perversely, dlilrej, answer7 4 :bay, '"
sairThe paper Inett4 in tt►e infited
States at, the priretit ; turte, anabikt,t4
$15?.,000,000t _ „
ifeitikbOrg. nuiltit Vaud
iii . tiol44oolerthitiogi ,
_ .
ElEll
MEI