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FROM g4 THE SATURDAY EVENING MAIL."
JOHNATHELN, IN ::LONDON.
A. :DENtSO4.
'• IT was somewhere about the year 'VII%
and nearing the' fourth of July, that Jonathan
Melbourne resolved to go to London. -: JOna
than was a genius in his way, an oddity, a
fine scholar, and a young man of wealth.—
His father had been dead three years, and had
left a splendid fortune to his only son.
- The Melbournes resided .in Boston at the
date of onr story. No mansion in that prim
city was more elegant, both as regards out,
ward finish and inward decoration's, than lift
ed its noble front in the vicinity of the rural
plot of ground then called "the commons."
Jack Melbourne sat listlessly in his meth
-er's stately room. There had been company
all day—beautiful girls with their dashing .
brothers; and Jack had kept: them in one
incessant roar—pardon, shades of the Mel
bournes—of laughter, until the last bright
eyed coquette, throwing g reckless glance
over, her shoulder, and !poking very roguish-.
ly out of her little blue hood and bluer eyes,
declared, as she tripped down the steps, that
Jack's, wit had almost been the death of her;
whereupon Jack looked commendably seri
ous, thus eliciting afresh burst of mirth.
But-now, as I said, be sat listlessly in his
-
mother's stately room. The setting sun,and
the hanging curtains, together,_ threw a won
drously', rich glow of crimson- over his fine
features, and his contemplations, of whatever
kind they were, made his face serious, -and
: gave a shade of melancholy to his full brown
eyes.
The room was very large, and filled with
antique, but massive furniture. On its walls
hung portraits of old time people, with ruffles
and powdered wigs, and short waists, and
enormous curls and ribbons.. These pictured,
men and women were the ancestors of Jona
than Melbourne, some of them old English
nobles, with haughty lips, and eyes that
plainly said, "We look not on common
things." Darker shadows, with stately step
pings, moved over the great more; the sun
was gene, the twilight was gone, and the ser
vants brought in candles; still Jonathan never
moved. At last, sprincrina- ° up with a bound
that nearly brought his head in contact
with a,massive bronze chandelier, (Jonathaa
was very tall,) he exclaimed, "I'll do it, by
Jupiter!"
"Do what, my soil?" said a low, rather
sweet voice, as at that moment a woman of
noble presence entered the room. - ,
Instantly going to her side, with a respect
ful salute, Jonathan offered his arm, and con
du:ned his mother—who, by her haughty
bearing and rich, rustling silks, might have
been a fit' companion piece, framed to the
Lady Clara Melbourne, dead a hundred years,
who hung in such state between the win
dows—to her favorite couch, and seated him,
self at her feet.
"Do what, my son?" she asked again, lays
ing her white hand on his head.
"Go to London, mother, and hunt pp some
of our relatives," Jonathan responded.—
"There!" he exclaimed, raising again, arid
brushing his hair straight behind - his ears, as
suming a look of wise simplicity and a
drawlina accent, "how shall I pass for a raw
Yankee?"
"I am tired of laughing at your antics,"
said his mother, laughing nevertheless; "and
as to your going to England, and leaving me
alone 4 shan't bear, to it for a moment. I3e
sensible, will you .Marry little Clara Ver
net, and become a good husband and a useful
citizen."
"Come, mother, I'll tell pot; what!" ex
claimed Jonathan, alter sorpefigther remon
strance, "if I. don't convert , o ne of old 4aro,
net what's-his-name's daughters into as de s .
more a Yankee as you ever saw, marry
little Clara Vernet within a month after my
return; but go.to the Old country I must, and
have my fun' out; . come, confess now, it
would be too bad to Spoil a plan it has ta.ken
me just three hours, five minutes and fifteen
seconds to mature; never thought for so much
time" consecutively ' , before in all my life;"
and he returned his gold repeater to his vest
pocket, and,. in his own irrisistible way, won
his mother's consent, though it was given
with great reluctance.
JONATHAN'S PITTX.N4 OUT.
His tailor asked no questions, but follow
ed, with a rueful face,.th.e young man's di
rections with regard to the cut of his cloth.
It was a fine and rery.costly blae cloth, the
very best in Mr. Snipshears' immense est ab
lishment; and it. grieved ,that retailer of lash
ionAble costumes, that admirable getter up of
Parisian fashions, to fit such superb lia;kbp,
"so that • the bottoms of the legs should stop
short by a couple of inches" of his large bat
not unhandsome shoes.
"If I might suggest—'," spoke Mr. Snip
shears tremulously, his forbearance corn
pletely put to route by the young_ man's
idea of a coat.
HUNTINGDON, DECEMBER 5, 1855,
"I am to. make all the suggestions this
time," said Jonathan, quietly, his mouth im
perceptibly curling; and the tailor measured
away in despair, while great drops of sweat,
drawn from the at List, not the man, stood on,
or heavily dropped from his forehead'.
"Ruin my reputation!" said he, standing
with the measuring tape and shears in - one
hand, and the cloth in the other, and 'he gap
ed,, with a silly paralyzed stare after - Jona
than, who was going' down. street.' ' elague
takei him! I'd rather give_ suit away than
let Alle4 him! _
go opt-eerily shop;" - and it
%.vai three days before the tailor recovered
saileiently to' eat his breakfast. His wife
saied. 'it, however, : on the third shelf of the
kitchen pantry, where it was "found devour
ed by .the rats," when Mr. Snipshears became
sufficiently sensible to be hungry.
"Luckily," said Jonathan, "I have those
Shirts that Madan Neeker made, With the
ruffles half as long again as I wear them, but
which I paid her for all the same, poor wo-
Man ' because she was poor; they'll be just
the thing; and with this 'slick' new hat that •
sets so nicely on the back 'of my head, these
collars, and my new blue suit, I hope I shall
give my venerable relatives, on the other
side,, one opportunity to see the original sing
er of Yankee Doodle, as performed on fife
and. - drum at a pnrlicular period of colonial
triumph antf Johnny Bull "fiusteratien, • •
JONATHAN IN ENGLAND.
The voyage proved very rough, very wea r
risome, and almost. unsupportable long to our
hero. Seven times he read through-a pack
age of neatly folded notes, tied up with all
sorts of ribbons; three times, Robinson Cru-'
soe; . and, as he bad promised the good lady,
his mother, - that he would read a chapter in
the 1 3ible every day, he had finished the last
of Revelations when they came in sight of
old Albion. For some time, Jonathan jodul r
ged, his eccentricity to the utmost in a pub
'lic,way; putting up at the best hotels, spend
ing money lavishly, and a!ways attired in his
raw costume; until all London rang with the
ways and sa)ings of the queer Yankee, who.
spent like a prince.
"And by 'the way," said the IVlarquis of
his friend, the F l arl of .14-77—,
t it is said he boasts of a connection with the
old Melbourne peerage."
"Psha!" returned the earl, with a dignified
frown. ' "I'd -like to have him claim kindred
with me! I'd -take the starch out of him."
The Earl of M was a relative of that.
distinguished family; any . one might have
known it by the manner In which he said
"Psha!"`
That very night;lonadian and the Marquis
met at a great party, where all the foFmer's
little oddities were amiably forgotten, as it
appeared, by his retaining the apparel that
must haye looked uncouth beside the splendid
dresses of that period. • But ,Jonathan was
the lion. Standing where - the light struck
out his handsome, intellectual features, he
looked an Apollo—till he spoke. Therile
verdant nymphs of younc , America! how
fashion opened her eyes, and nobility stared,
durribfounded, until some quaint conceit, in
imitably e.pressed, provoked smiles, and
sometimes laughter.
qWhat a splendid profile he has!" said the
Duchess Langenold, agitating the atmosphere
with her scented feather fan, as she passed
him with a haughty look.
"Yes, but what a fool when he speaks!
how can Lord Arnien and Lord Bentley spend
their time with the creature._ What is he?
one'of the native curiosities of the new coun
try!''
"I'll tell you," whispered a bright, flutter
ing little creature, "he's aspecimen of Amer.ican aristocraay;" and with a dear little tit
ter, the young lady glided off to spread the
information.
"And what, on the whole, are your im
pressions of England, Mr. Melb.nirne, now
yciu have travelled so much of it over. Bere
of course von find more real splendor, more
hoary antiquity, more historic interest, than
in any other portion of the globe;" saidi the
poinpous gar q uis of
"Well—it's 'a nation fine place,"
drawled
Jonathan, abut then I have my objections to
it—oh, yes?" and he speculatively contem
plated his boots.
"And pray what are your objections?"
asked the other. graciously.
"Why," said' Jonathan, drolly shrugging
his square shoulders, as he pinched' up his
shirt collar, ‘_'my reasons, capting, seeing's
you're sot on knowing 'ern are the same ones
the old hen gave for net liking the speckled
eh ick en ."
"And what were they?" asked the Mar
quis; "I see," he added, "yett't - c a dpsciple of
La Fontaine." .
"No, capting, 'aint a deciple of anybody
—['m a true' blooded Yankee,,and nothing
else. But about old hen. You see she had
a flue brood or chickens, two or 'less. One
was a delicate white one„ the other was
spreckled; and the spreckled one - seemed to
be the old hen's abomination. Qne day
Chanticleer, he took it up; says he, 'why in
wondor do you treat our progeny se Knightly
onequall Look at that poor thing,' be went
up, with tears in his eyes--I must read you
a iesscon,on parental tenderness?
. Well, the eld hen she looked up armiturned
an eye to where the spreCkled chicken scratch
ed its way in solitary glory.
. "I should like the thing well enough,' she
said, with a toss of her comb, 'if it was'nt so
peskily spotted;' so with me, capting" con
tinued Jonathan,. with the same droll
~ man
ner, "I like theplaee ,well enough, but it's
,so peskily spotted.".
The marquis laughed.
.s . ‘True as.nater, capting"—continued Jona
than—"there's some spots in that confounded
towercf, yours, .big enough to cover the con
science of your whole:aristocracy, and tusk.
under comfortably," he added, with a wiuk.
"Psh,al" paid_ the _etul, 'who stead a little
back—"l'll make ,him. r pay for his imperti
nence."
CIIRIST.M.A.S.
It was three days before Christmas, and
Jonathan was still in England. So com-
pletely bad he carried out his idea, that no
one mistrusted he was other than that re
doubtable Yankee,forzatiran-7-a type of A. Merican wit, and American crudity—a green,
grand-nephew of portly Johnny, whose sue !
name is Bull. And yet they hardly under,
stood him; they were afraid to measure hu
mor with him, because he always turned the
laugh upon them. The ladies thought him
so haratsorne—and so comical—but then,
poor thin; such an ignoramus, to be sure.. _
The Baronet Anytwell had five pretty
daughters, 'and. only one of them sensible.
-Not that the rest were idiots —by no means
—only they were swallowed up so complete
'lv, brains aed all, like thousands of our own
.f - air coentrymemen, in - the fashions—in style
and caste—that they were but little better. in
a:certain sense. But Anna Anytwell was
charming. Beautiful as an angel, she yet
was modest, gentle and appreciative. Hav
ing said this much of her, I shall say no
more—till I speak of her again.
Jonathan had "scraped" an acquaintance
with the kindly old Sir Robert Anytwell, who
was a good natured, happy soul, and ".im
mensely" fond of curiosities. At this parti
cular time, three days before 'Christrriari, our
Yankee chatted with the baronet in 'his. old
library. .
"Well, what about Christmas?" exclaimed
Sir RObert,' rubbing his hands 'and holding
them towards the blazing fire alternately.
- '"Well—Chrisimas is a
comincr—at least
they say so, down our way 'bout this time;"
rejoined Jonathan.
Villyou be round by that time 1" asked
the other, a smile and the firelight together
making his face ruddy..
- ".W11, T.. don't know, capting—can't tell;"
replied Jonathan, surveying, his slender pro
portions ruefully. '!I clen't grow on the
principle of rotundity, anyhow- re -but May
pole fashion--noerayther guess op the whole
I sha'n't be round at Chriomas."
The baron, laughed--eso did Anna, who
Carrie to say something to "papa"—but she
laughed at the droll look in those' magnifi
cent hark eyes-- e -and then blushed ' because
they seemed glued to her sweet face. •
• "Then in plump, proper terms,. where wilt
yOu be at Christmas 1" again interrogated
the baron, his attention arrested by his keen
visitor.
'‘Ah ! colonel =t that there ain't a possibili
ty of knowing," was his answer, "I may be
above ground—l may be below—but if I'm
alive, - I guess I'll be somewhere, where
theme fat turkey and suitable fixings."
,"Because I should like the pleasurs of your
company on that day to dinner ;" said the
baronet. . . _ -
"Many thanks, capting; much obligei all
the same if s4opidillt 1:?e here i" and Jona
than took his departure, donning for a mo
ment his own graceful, courtly Mien, as he
bowed particularly to Miss Anna.
She, all blushes ar.d palpitation, ran to her
sisters to tell them the news.
"My gracious !" exclaimed Nell, the eldeg
(the words are on record); "stars" cried the
sepond ; "mercy on us !"—said the third,
aghast ; "creation defend us," cried the fourth;
"and the Earl of M— to be here !" •
"Pooh ! he?s ten times handsomer than the
earl of Aa—,," Anna , protested with spirit;
•such eyes you never saw" and he looked
t 7
'Right at you, you ninny'; see her blush!"
cried the four sisters; "ha, ha r Anna'S 'in
love with a Yankee who says 'fayther' and
caeouw,"—and the poor little girl ran out of
the room—they jeered her so.
Mem- —She did love him.
However, Christmas day came, but no Yan
kee. The baronet failed in convincing the
Earl of M—that Jonathan was not a boori
and after tea, the two gentlemen left the la
dies and went out for a walk ou tl4e crisp
lawn.
A burst of laughter almost rode, greeted
the baronet and the Earl of M on their
return. The latter stepped back - for a mo
ment, while Sir Edward advanced and cordi
ally offered his hand.
Seated in the chair of state, sat, Jonathan,
his long limbs drawn loosely together as he
leaned towards the cheerful - blaze. Enor
mous ruffles protruded from his bosom—he
wore an awkward vest embroidered with
gold, and his buttons, severely gilt, shone,
like so many oval mirrors, each with a Christ
mas fire in the centre. His pointed coat tails
projected one over each arm of the great
chair, and his angers, spread in gesticulation,
wore several cumbrous rings that blazed and
sparkled, and were adorned with jewels of
great value. His face worked in every fea
ture ; and it was doubtless his contortions as
well as his witty anecdotes, that caused the
clear; ringing mirth of the maidens. It ceas
ed, howeyer, after the earl came forward
with a dubious face, speaking as plainly as
the countenance can speak--"l'm doubtful
about this sort of familiarity"—and the bar
onet introduced him.
" Jonathan sprang nimbly up, and in true
? . .irankee style offered his seat. The earl bow
ed low, with a mocking sort of way, saying
in a voice acutely _sarcastic, "X did not anti
cipate the honor, sir."
"Not at all—not at all ;" exclaimed lona
than, it; quick, sharp tones--but not before
the ladies had noticed an exceedingly grace
ful movement of the hand and inclination of
the body, entirely foreign to his usual ab
ruptness.-
'
"Not at all; don't apologize ; " he added,
with a smile, "I'm accustomed to that honor
—do be seated—and capting"—turning to_
the baronet, who enjoyed it all hugely, "take
the choir of ceremony, sir perhaps you didn't.
Anticipate the honor. Nevertheless, 1 hope
it won't
.oyercome you."
This sally provoked a laugh that • went the
rounds, and the earl; too dignified to -retort
and quick enough to see the impropriety of,
which he had been guilty, contented himself
tvith listening in kingly silence . , not deigning
to speak.
Again and again did the laugh ring out, as
Jonathan, lengthening his mobile features, ,
and making a panorama of his intelligent ,
face, kept the tide of coversation flowing in.,
his own channel. Things were spoken that
night, that the jeweled ears of aristocracy had
never listened to before ; the nobility he dies
sected with the keen edge of his merciless
saiire—their follies lashed, their improprieties
burlesqued, their immoralities whipped, with
an unsparing hand, and all in such a why,
that his dainty audience treated it as delecta
ble wisdom, done up in, sweets, like bitter
pills coated with sugar.
"I expected you to dine with us to-day;"
said the baronet, during a pause in the mi
lting fire of his wit.
capting l i would a corne t " replied
lOnathan, width. twang, "but I dined with
his majesty, sir--Inay his 41 - iadder never be
•I was going to say, less ; but on the
whole it. would improve him to lose a little
flesh."
This was too much! the idea of Jonathan
dining with King George, affected even the
sensibilities of the earl; but Jonathan looked
solemnly at the fire.
- - - _
"And what did you think of his majesty?"
asked the earl, with a supercilious sneer.
1 . 4 Wal, he semed a party reasonable sort of
fellow, I thought. and to tell you my.private
opinion, I think .ta?11 knock under." -
r‘l &knot understand your idiom s sir;" .said
the alike,' his lip curling.
"Well, capting ' "rejoined ,Tonatban in his
driesi manner, "I dunno as I can, 1 . 14 your
understanding muck; as to my idiorn—may
be I'd 'better give it to you in Latin;"
and to their astonishment he repeated his an
swer in t' , Tood Latin —" now, if you don't un
derstandthat, will you take it in French or
German, or Italiani" and he rattled off his
reply in each dialect.
.The earl fell an inch o; two in his boots—
mean—his dignity-- : he respected intellect
almost as-much as rank; the rest were elec
trified—while little Anna's eyes sparkled
like diamonds. .
"Anil if that don't help Our understanding,
Mr. Earl,'' continued Jonathan, "will you
hey it in Hebrew or Greek—Spanish, low
Dutch, Cherokee, or Yankee over again ;" he
added, with a twang so nasal, that the old
roOm echoed with laughter. '"Gracious !"
he continued, "the fact Is, capting, you don't
hunderstand hour ; I meant to im
press your farreaching mind with this fact,
that King George had better not make a tour
to the colonies, this yea;. On acappot., of his
digestion; they eat cannon hall over
Good night, ladies, good night, capting," . and
without glancing at. the crestfallen nobleman,
left the room.
JONATHAN UNMASKED-
"Dear ! how this veil teazes me," cried lit
tle Anna Anytwell ; and she threw the flim
sy but beautiful fabric from her brow.
4 'llow pettish Anna is growing lately ; do
you perceive it V' asked the eldest Anytwell
young lady, of her tall, handsome sister.
"Indeed I do'; even the anticipated pleasure
pf this ball does'nt seem to inspirit her much,
replied the other; "she merely said when the
invitatiop came, "well, I shall go—perhaps.'"
The gorgeousness of the grand old.apart
;tient, the beauty pf the dresses of that period,
the &Tinos light flashing , over all, and ma
king the scene one of bewildering pplgrOPF l
why describo minutely ?
"See," cried Anna, clasping her sister's
arm, "only see—Mr. Melbourne."
"Nonsense, child what a fool—wherel
no—he would not be tolerated here."
"But yonder superb figure, dressed in the
violet tunic-there—look to the right; he is
talking with the Duchess of Montrose—oh!
how graceful I He looks this way ;" and An
na, all blusheS, sank back on her cousin's
arm.
“I tell you, no—no,” added Bell, sow
what hesitating, "that splendid ruan-,,-
Mr. I declare ! he doe's look like him."
"Do you know what has become of our
Yankee?" asked a merry oung countess of
the sisters.' "Lo ! look at his transformation
—the most elegant gentleman, upon my
word, I have ever met with; So courtly !so
polished ! The•whole bail room is wonder
ing; did You ever hear of such a freak ?here
he has been hoaxing us all this time; I de
clare it's sinful. But," and she clasped her
hands, laughing archly, "won't - those who
have quizzed him get it now? They
say he's a rich young American—oh ! im
mensely rich, and descended fiorn the old
Melbourne family ; see, the Earl of M—is
shaking hands with
Jonathan soon :24ir,tecl the side of the girl
who bad charmed him. Her blushes made
her ten times more radiant, and Jonathan
guessed to some purpose, when he guessed he
might easily win the baroneVsgentle daugh
ter. To get the cream of Jonathan's visit,
read the following in—
"DEAR ' JONATHAN : I hear with surprise
the singular sensation you are creating. My
dear
,boy, will you never quit playing the
monkey and put on the dignity that. - becomes
y9u Fo well? What can our august relatives
think of your course / as for me, I am blush
ing this moment for my dear, noble madcap
son. Had 1 dreamed you intended to burles
que the country for which your father, Colo
nel John Melbourne, spilled his best bood,
had never consented to your departure. But
I hope—l know there must be some ulterior
object in your thus assuming so outre a dis
gutse, and playing. the innocent country
clown. My dear boy, I regret to tell you
that little Clara Vernet is married ,to that
great Clement Davis; quite a rising Jav,vyer
.he is, too Ah I had hoped—but regrets
are vain; I only trust you may not feel the
disappointment as I do. YOUR MOTHER."
And this—
"DEAR NOTHER : Glory that means,
how glad 1 . am Clara Vernet is gone. I did
use to hate to cloak her so, she wee so far
beneath me, so very tiny. I always felt as
it she ought to be helpless, and I take her in
my arms. But, mother—Pm coming home.
Hurrah ! get the , parlors new papered, buy
the costliest carpet in Boston city, for that
sunny ropm up stairs, ar.d exercise your ini
mitable taste in fitting it up into the most ele
gant boudoir—for my wife ! Yes, mother,
my own little (and here let me say I havn't
any prejudice against Mrs. Clara Davis for
being se tiny) Anna; just the sweetest, love
liest,.an&most loveable girl you -ever saw.
You will mourn no more for Clara when
you see the angle I shall bring you ;" and
theft followed a long description ,of the charms
VOL. 11, NO, 24,
with which he had been so incurable smitten.
Jonathan brimght his EngliSh %rife home ;
and many a laugh the trio had together; sit
ting by-their pleasant hearth, while - Jonathan,
not yet able ;o subdue his oldproensities,
related, with liumusO;is Ipols and gesture,
e.,periene..f3 in the great city of London,
Making
During the session of 17:9,7n„a wealthy
merchant—in conformity ' with" the custom
of the times—gave a dinner party to a few
gentlemen, among whom was a member of
Congre§e , of th4tperiod. - On, the appointed
day, however, the lady . of the house was
somewhat annoyed at an early hour by the
intrusion of an old man at the dobr. Having
been met by a servant, he inquired if the pro
prietor of the house—whom eve "will call Mr.
Topham--was at home. Upon receiving a
negative reply, and being furthermore in
fOrrnacf that he wutrld not 5e at home for
softie three or four hours, the old man said
'Well, being as here, .I may as well
remain until he comes.'
'Please wait a moment,' said the servant,
Will call Mrs. Topharn to,- the dew, and
see whit she Will Say.'
The aeryant then ran and called the Alex
chanits wife who made her appearance.—
The old man then repeated what he had said
to the servant—that being as tie was there he
might as well remain until her husband came.
'Weil,' replied Mrs. T., 'if you will stay,
just walk through the alley and go back to the
kitchen and take a seat.'
Nothing daunted, the old man'obeyed or
ders, and passed through the alley to the
kitchen, where he found Mrs. T. and the ser
yenta very busily engaged in preparing din
ner. SuppOsirtA ttim - sorrie old roan seeking
employment, Mrs. 'I. Was free'in calling in
to requisition his services in her work of pre 7
paring dinner, and he was equally willing
and ready to rencier all assistance possible.
'Oilman,' said she, - (firippcise vo - o take the
bucket, go p ;he bidraiii and d - raW us son*
water.' .
He at once and readily complied with the
request.
'Old man,' again said she, ''snp - pose you
assist us a little in preparing dinner, as wo
give a dinner party today, and are very
much hurried indeed. Just peel a few pota
toes ii you please.'
- No sooner was the request made than the
cold man' got to work peeling potatoes with,
a right good will.
After all things were sufficiently advanced
to release Mos. T. from further supervision,
she went into her chamber to arrange her
toilet to receive her husband's guests. At
the proper hour her husband came in; and
then, one by one, :mine those who vere to
dine with him on that day. In due time all
arrived but one M. C. Mr. Tophin then be
gan to express his surprise a; the absence of
the Virginia representative, as he thought he
would certainly have been one of tie first, if
not the first ; to make his :appearance, ,know
ing that his dinner at home was an early
one.
When about coming to the conclusion that
the Virginia M. C. would, fail to 'make his ap..
pearance, Mrs. T.'s memlry, which . seemed
to have proVed rather treacherous, became ef
fulgent; and she acquainted her husband with.
the fact that there was an 'old man' in the
kitchen who had been waiting to see him,
for the last three or four hours. Mr: T. im
mediately repaired to the kitchen to ascertain
the 'old man's' wants, when 10, and behold!
who should he find but our M. C. himself
Astonished boyond measure, and with con.
fitsed interanpe, he exclaimed:
'Why hoW came yen Itere'll
He simply'replied,
'1 was invited to the kitchen by your wire,
and as I came much before your dinner.hour,
I have been making myself usefuP
Mr. T. at once invited and accompanied
him into the parlor, and introduced him to
his wife and guests as the 'Hon. Robert
Rutherfqrd, of yirginia.'
The lady's feelitigs, can be better imagined
by the metier than described by the writer
but the balance of the day passed off-pleasant
ly,- saving the lady's abashment resulting
from not recognizing the 'Virginia Member
of Congress.'
A FARMER who had lately became a wid-.
over, was aroused at midnight by the loud
barking of his dog. Oa going to it, the ani.,
mai displayed extreme terror; whereupon the
' farmer took his gun and proceeded to an in !
spection. All at once' he saw a ,phantom
clothed in a white sheet rise behind the
hedge. The farmer turned deadly pale and
his limbs shook with dismay. He; however,
contrived to ejaculate, "If you come from
God, speak, if from the devil, vanish!"
"Wr.etchl" exclajmed the phantom, "I am
yoUr deceaSed wife, come from the grave to
warn you not to marry Maria 4. to whom
you are making low; the Only woman to sue:
ceed me is Henrietta g. Marry her, or perse.
cution and eternal torment shaft be. youF
dodni." This strange address from the gob
ling, instead of dismaying the farmer, restor
ed his courage. He accordingly rushed tg
the ghostly visitor,
and at ripping off its sheet,
discovered the fair Henrietta B. t "hetself. look.:,
ing extremely foolish. It is said that the far
mer, admiring the girl's trick; has had the
bang published for his marriage with her.
a7"How does it happen that the most pup!
erficial orators generally make the longest
§peecties The answer . 0 .0,10 question
(which is not a conundrum) appears to be
that ‘4.ho§e gentleman endeavor to give their
oration§ in rength that which they want in
depth.
"My DEAR," said a wife to her husband,
"did you eyer read ig the plague id London?"
"No, 4 don't want to read it. t.z.lt is enough
to have a plague in my own House."
TBE biped who sows dissenpiong between
a man and his wife very apt to reap axe.
helves and mop -stinks--a poor crop, and not
worth cultivating. Don't try it.
0:7-W hyis a kiss like a iutusil Becalms
it goes'frorrt mouth to wtou.th:
?ALE
1:1