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WHEN a girl is too refined or
too exclusive or too stupid to
be sent to a public school any
longer, her fond parents send her to
a finishing school. These schools are
so named because of what they do
to father.
Finishing schools are conducted
by eminent financiers. Their object
Is to get $BOO a year and extras per
head from their students. The fin
ishing school can take a raw, tlmld
girl with a fair-sized bundle of
money and by Judiciously separating
the two can produce in time a beau
tiful young lady who can read
French, play "The Rosary," tilk
about the drama, get in and out
of a room like a princess and or.ub
a poor relation so tactfully that the
latter will thank her v.ith tears in
his eyes for the favor. It costs
from SBOC- to 25.000 a year to varr:ia:i
a young lad/ In tlun style, c-Itsr
she Is properly finished it costs
$5,000 a year for upkeep and decora
tions until some brave young man
comes around for her. The educa
tion* part comes cheap in these
schools, but the extras are better
than they are In the contracting
business. There was once a private
school proprietor who radiated a
wonderful atmosphere of repose, and
he used to make $lO,OOO a year charg
ing up extras for the wear and tear
on his atmosphere
Private schools are very strict in
discipline, and it really seetns a pity
that so many efficient guards are
wasted on nice young ladies all over
oar land while desperate criminals
are leaking from their prisons on
every hand.* In the best private
schools parents are only allowed to
see their -daughters once a year, and
then only if their influence is deemed
desirable by the head jailer.
Hadn't Got to That.
Philanthropic Person—"Have- you
never striven my friend, to attain a
h pher life?" Mundane Marmaduke—
"Well, mister, we ain't got past corned
beef an* beer yet, but whether we'll
ever reach champagne and chicken I
can't bloomin' well say."—Sydney Bul
letin.
0 I
Use fteaton.
You've got t'» ! -riven your work wltM
some planning and thought. A fire
less cooker doesn't do the business un
til heat is applied..
FINISHING SCHOOLS
The life of a girl In a private
school is very arduous? She must
rise at seven and manicure for an
hour, after which she must go to
chapel and thence to breakfast.
I -
Parents are only allowed to see their
daughters once a year
wiiere her father is fined for every
thing she drops. After breakfast she
must study dancing, drawing, sitting
down in a fluent and graceful man
ner, the names of the apostles, dra
matic criticism, French for botfi
hands and face, piano playing, shoul
der shrugging, small talking, eyebrow
elevating, gown wearing, father tam
ing, housework dodging, and many
other useful sciences. She is also
allowed half an hour a day in which
to think, though In the best schools
this Is considered ill-bred.
The trouble with private schools
in this country is that they are not
half private enough. jt. They. are_ too
easy to find/'
Size of the Foot.
The foot should be as long as the
nlna, or chief bone of the forearm —
that is, from the small heafl of the hone
to be seen at the wrist to the point of
the elbow should be the length of the
foot.
Beef Suet Not Indispensable. -
Norway has discovered that beel
suet ts not absolutely necessary to the
manufacture of margarine. Cod livei
oil herring oil and other fish oils are
said to be excellent substitutes.
The World Is C'nee "d.
Doctor Johnson's old shoolmate said
.that he could not be a philosopher he
cause "cheerfulness was always break
ing in." Our world of mankind cannot
he that kind of a philosopher, either
for the same reason. It may have Its
moods and depressions, or prove to the
utmost the reasonableness of despair:
but there Is an inexhaustible well
spring of vigor within it, and vigor is
another word for joy.—From the Un
popular Review.
Dark Ages.
The term Is applied to a portion of the
Middle Ages, including the period of
about 1,000 years from the fall of
Rome to revival of letters In the fif
teenth century. It Is generally re
garded as beginning with invasion of
France by Clovis, 4SO A. D* and clos
ing with invasion of Naples by Charles
VIII in 1495. Learning was at a low
ebb during this period.
Important Rivers.
Just as Egypt has been made by
the Nile, so Mesopotamia has been
made by the Tigris and the Euphrates.
The view put forward with some au
thority that the rivers should he kept
exclusively for irrigation and. not be
depended upon for transport is chal
lenged on many grounds, one of which
is that irrigation and navigation can
be effectively combined, and indeed
made mutually advantageous for
many years to come.
Disapproves Old Adage.
In spite of the old adage to the con
trary, some things doae by halves are
done most satisfactorily, as for exam
ple the much-used Quinsigamond
bridge at Worcester, Mass. Here traf
fic suffered a minimum of /interruption
by completing and putting into use
one longitudinal half jof the new struo
ture before the other half was built.
Fats In the Body.
Fats in the body occur under the
skin In the muscles and around certain
organs. They act as a protection for
the body against 'njury and serve as a
stored supply of fuel, in case food can
not be taken. Fats are liquid in the
body and are stored In albuminous
cells.
A Glass Horn.
An Innovation in phonographs Is an
Instrument equipped with a horn of
beveled mirror glass. The claim of
the makers Is that the horn of a talk
ing machine best amplifies the tone
when Its surface is smooth and rigid,
hence one of heavy glass Is preferable
to one of wood or metal.
Mineral Lake.
A lake near Biggar. Saskatchewan,
has been found TO he saturated with
■odium sulphate, and tho deposits un
der the lake and alongside the edse
to be nearly 07 per <*ent pure sulphate.
The mineral is used extensively in the
manufacture of sulphuric acid, in pho
tography and other industrial pur
poses.
Bright Silver.
Silver will be found brighter if
wiped directly from clean, hot, slight
ly soapy water. Silver may be boiled
in a bright aluminum pan with several
small pieces of zinc or in a special sil
ver pan with salt and soda. These
methods clean the silver and it can be
polished afterward.
Salute to the Flag.
The salute to the flag is given by
raising the right hand, palm outward,
until the index finger is even with the
lower edge of the forehead, and stand
ing at attention.
The Firs'.: Private Garage.
The first private garage constructed
'n New York city was built in the
sp.ing of 1900 by a prominent New
York automobile enthusiast, who at
that time owned three motor vehicles.
Early American Statesman.
Alexander Hamilton, one of our |
greatest statesmen, was sometimes
called "Alexander the Coppersmith,"
because of the copper rents he had
made in 1793. when he was seeretary
of tho treasury. Those pennies were
very unpopular with the people. He
was killed in a duel by Aaron Burr.
Maybe You're Rich.
Some men are rich and don't know
It—rich in health, rich in a large and
happy family, rich in frieuds, rich in
Influence and standing ii* their com
munities, rich in the spirit of charity
and brotherly love. These same men
may he poor in this world's goods,
but they're rich, just the same.—
Crosman.
Thinking of Strenuoui Days.
Bnrber (carried away by his remi
niscences) —"And when he'd looped thf
loop he did a nose dive that fairly
took your breath away."—Boston
nlng Transcript
Psychologically Tested.
Psychological tests are being used
by the United States employment serv
ice In New York to aid In determining
the work for which applicants are beet
fitted.
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THE TANGLED DOTS.
By Clifford Leon Sherman.
" h ' "YeS" '!?«''itaSE P %ni
instead "of'a* Hkt^
(206)
(Copyright, 1918, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
j| Both Phones p. o. Box E |I
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ji BARNESBORO, PA.
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