m
An Unexpected
Match
By F. A. MITCHEL
I r ■ ~, ■ ,m
w. m
Elijah Crowell appeared one day In
Harrisonville and gave out that h«
proposed to settle there and "grow up
with the town." Prospectively this
would require a long residence, for the
town was already 100 years old and
for half of that period had been ret
rograding. Besides, Mr. Crowell was
already grown up. However, Mr.
Crowell complimented Harrisonville
by settling in it, and the inhabitants
felt kindly disposed toward him. It
must be confessed that he added noth
ing to the beauty of the place, for his
legs were very short, his body very
long, his neck longer still in propor
tion, while his whole person was sur
mounted by a bullet head.
Mr. Crowell attracted the attention
of the young people by writing arti
cles for one of the two newspapers of
the town, to which he signed the name
"The Magic Lantern." The attention
attracted was one of derision, for the
articles, though somewhat original,
were indicative of the adage, "Fools
step in where angels fear to tread."
But Mr. Crowell was talked about, and
that is what many persons crave.
One morning Mr. Crowell met Miss
Jennie Ackerman in a store. Jennie
was a pretty girl, and Crowell's coun
tenance beamed with admiration.
Whether she was frightened at his
ugliness or overmodest, she turned her
back upon him. Harrisonvllle was not
BO large a place but that Crowell might
often meet Miss Ackerman o3 the
street, and when he did so there was
always on his expressive countenance
that same look of admiration.
The young man made no secret of
having been enthralled by Miss Ack
erman's beauty. He sounded her
praises not only orally, but wrote
them up in thinly disguised articles
for the Harrisonville Eagle over the
pseudonym of "The Magic Lantern."
One day Miss Ackerman met Mr.
Crowell on the street. She passed him
with her nose in the air. The town
was not a large one, and she soon
came to the outskirts. It occurred
to her that she would visit a cousin
of hers who lived a short distance up
the road. There were two opinion?
as to why she decided on this visit at j
this time. Some said that it was to !
get rid of Crowell, whom she feared j
she_would meet if she turned and went •
! beck Into the hearFo? thelown, "Oth
ers declare that she went on for the es
pecial purpose of giving her admirer an
opportunity to Join her without being
observed.
Whichever of these two opinions is
correct, one thing is certain—Crowell
followed her, and when she reached a
j point where they were alone he step
ped up beside her, doffed his hat and
begged her to permit him to say a few
words to her.
She told him that he might say a
few words, and only a few words, after
which she would be obliged to him if
he would leave her. He replied that
she had made him inexpressibly hap
py and when he had said the few
words he would depart He then pro
ceeded to tell her that he had worship
ed her silently—which took no account
of his encomiums printed in the Eagle
—that his whole being was bound up
in her and that, repel him as she
might, he would continue his secret
worship.
What Miss Ackerman's reply was is
not known, for she was more reticent
than the garrulous Mr. Crowell, who
repeated every word he had said to
every one who would listen to him, but
a small boy reported that he frequent
ly met Miss Ackerman going to or from
her cousin's and she was usually ac
companied by Mr. Crowell. Gradually
her friends ceased to twit her about
her misshaped adorer, and in time
some of them began to wonder if she
had not taken pity on him and was
admonishing him to desist from sound
ing her praises, especially in the Eagle.
Some thought that she had reminded
him that it had been all very well for
Dante to write poems about Beatrice
or Petrarch to sound the praises of
Laura, but it wouldn't do for Crowell
to give vent to his feelings for his
lady in the columns of a newspaper,
even though her name was not men
tioned.
Whatever was passing between the
two, no one for a moment suspected
that Miss Ackerman had any other ob
ject than to curb her garrulous lover
and prevent his making himself and
her ridiculous. She was known to be
a tender hearted girl, and it was taken
for granted that she would not say
anything to hurt the poor man's feel
ings, but would endeavor to show him
by kindly words he was making a fool
of himself.
One day the citizens of Harrisonvllle
were startled by a rumor that Mr.
Crowell and Miss Ackerman were
engaged. Miss Ackerman's intimate
friends pronounced it a malicious slan
der upon the lady. Mr. Crowell de
nied it in a way that indicated plainly
he was delighted even at the report.
Then one day when Miss Ackerman's j
cousin was asked what was meant br
coupling" the lormer's name with that
horrid Crowell she said that Jennie
was really engaged to him. Within
half an hour it was all over town that
the pretty Miss Ackerman was going
to marry that tin headed, bandy legged
Crowell.
However, we are prone to become
accustomed to what is and cease to
wonder why it should be. Mr. and
Mrs. Crowell now excite no more com
ment than any other married couple-
The third finger on the left hand, on
which the engagement and wedding
rings are worn, is anatomically the
weakest of the ten.
Burying the Hatchet.
This expression, meaning "let by
gones be bygones," is derived from a
ens torn once in vogue among North
American Indians. According to a
command of the "great spirit," they
were obliged, when they smoked the
pipe of peace, to bury in the ground
their tomahawks, scalping knives and
war clubs in token that all enmity
was at an end.
♦ <§»
♦ PLANTED TREE YEARS #
♦ AGO TO MAKE COFFIN ♦
♦ *
♦ Chicago—Fifty years ago Wal
♦ ter Bushnell of Carrollton, 111., <t»
♦ planted u walnut on his farm and <B>
♦ announced that he would have ♦
♦ his coffin made from the tree. ♦
♦ Three years ago he had the tree
♦ cut down and sawed Into slabs.
♦ Bushnell is now eighty years
♦ old. The walnut wood, having ♦
♦ been properly aged, has been *
♦ made into a coffin. +
♦ ♦
V oter's
Catechism
D. Have you read the Consti
tution of the United States?
R. Yes.
D. What form of Govern
ment is this?
R. Republic.
D. What is the Constitution
of the United States?
R. It is the fundamental law
of this country.
D. Who makes the laws of
the United States?
R. The Congress.
D. What does Congress con
sist of?
R. Senate and House of Rep
resentatives.
D. Who is our State Senator?
R. Wilbur P. Graff.
D. Who is the chief executive
of the United States?
R. President.
D. For how long is the Presi
dent of the United States elect
ed?
R. Four years.
D. Who takes the place of
the President in case he dies?
R. The Vice President.
D. What is his name?
R. Thomas R. Marshall.
D. By whom is the President
of the United States elected?
R. By the electors.
D. By whom are the electors
chosen ?
R. By the people.
D. Who makes the laws for
the State of Pennsylvania.
R. The Legislature.
D. What does the Legislature
consist of?
R. Senate and Assembly.
D. Who is our Assembly
man?
R. Wilmer H. Wood.
D. How many States in the
union ?
R. Forty-eight.
D. When was the Declaration
of Independence signed ?
R. July 4, 1776.
D. By whom was it written?
R. Thomas Jefferson.
D. Which is the capital of the
United States?
R. Washington.
D. Which is the capital of the
state of Pennsylvania.
R. Harrisburg.
D. How many Senators has
each state in the United States?
R. Two.
D. Who are our U. S. Sena
tors?
R. Boise Penrose and George
T. Oliver.
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D. By whom are they elect
ed?
R. By the people.
D. For how long?
R. Six years.
D. How many representa
tives are there ?
R. 435. According to the
population one to every 211,000,
(the ratio fixed by Congress af
ter each decennial census.)
D. For how long are they
elected?
R. Two years.
D. Who is our Congressman ?
R. Nathan L. Strong.
D. How many electoral votes
has the state of Pennsylvania?
R. Thirty-eight.
D. Who is the chief execu
tive of the state of Pennsyl
vania ?
R. The Governor.
D. For how long is he elect
ed?
R. 4 years.
D. Who is the Governor?
R. Martin G. Brumbaugh.
D. Do you believe in organ
ized government?
R. Yes.
D. Are you opposed to or
ganized government?
R. No.
D. Are you an anarchist?
R. Nc.
D. What is an anarchist?
R. A person who does not be
lieve in organized government.
D. Are you a bigamist or
poligamist?
R. No.
D. What is a bigamist or po
lygamist ?
R. One who believes in hav
ing more than one wife.
D. Do you belong to any se
cret society who teaches to dis
believe in organized govern
ment?
R. No.
D. Have you ever violated
any laws of the United States?
R. No.
D. Who makes the ordinances
for the City?
R. The board of aldermen.
D. Do you intend to remain
permanently in the U. S.?
R. Yes.
FOR SALE
C onfectionery Store, located in
the heart of business section of
Punxsutawney. Owner wishes to
sell on account of leaving for dif
ferent state. Write "
314 East Mahoning St.,
Punxsutawney. Pa. Casa Stabilita nel 1895 PROVATE I L'Olio Marca "La Siciliana" j
MARCA "GIUSEPPE GAR^LDI"
Prezzo speciale per ordine di 25 casse in su
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Pasquale Giunta
IMPORTATORE D'OLIO D'OLIVA
1030 So. 9th Street - - - Philadelphia, Pa.