The patriot. (Indiana, Pa.) 1914-1955, June 02, 1917, The Patriot, Image 3

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Ufficio: 467 Phìladelphia Street
INDIANA, PA.
Italy wants no U. S. Soldiers
i
WASHINGTON, May Italy wants no American soldiers
on the Italian front.
This message was delivered to President Wilson today by the
Prince of Udine, King Victor Emanuel's personal envoy to the
United States.
"Italy has ali the man power she needs and the American sol
diers should be sent to the battle front in France," one member
of the mission said today. *
(( We would, of course, welcome American soldiers on the Ital
ian front if your government saw fìtto send them, but we feel
that we have sufficient men and our allies need man power more
than we do."
Jjljjffl I ** M i.ìr.
V \ ffl|
dà una luce più chiara del petrolio Sj B
ordinario perchè è fatto meglio. {HBmì.K
BAj® Niente stoppini carbonizzati.
Jjrafif/ ■ Niente puzza.
TBfIBÌ Avrete luce o calore superiore senza spen-
HV// I deredi più per quello che paghereste per H S|
|" f : H' Chiedete il "Rayolight Oli" per nome. B B
H IB • Raccomandiamo l'uso della "New Perfec- B
K$ Il tion Oli Cook Stove" "Perfection Smoke- H ttißKyj
Jl lesa Oil Heaters" e Lampade e lanterne B t KB
B VJB "Rayo". Per perfetti risultati usate W ! IMI
É |j ■ Ogni dove. B Hill
■ Il THE ATLANTIC REFINING COMPANY B 11111
Ognidove nella Pennsylvania • Delaware. B II ■Il
Advertise in the "PATRIOT" First Calculating Machine.
The first calculating machine was in
vented and constructed by Blaise Pas
cal, a Frenchman, in 1642, in which
year he was but nineteen years of age.
It was made by him with the pld of
one wofikman and was presented to the
chancellor of France. During the rev
olution it was found in a junk shop at
Bordeaux and at present is the prop
erty of M. Bougouin of that city. All
of the four simple mathematical opera
tions can be made with it
Your Own Career.
"You may be whatever you resolve
to be." That was the motto of Stone
wall Jackson, who died a lieutenant
general at thirty-nine. The meteoric
soldier found that sticking everlasting
ly at it was what put the solve in re
solve. Stonewall's maxim means that
you can do what you try to do if you
try hard enough. Mr. Favre found
that out forty years ago when against
obstacles supreme and penalties of $l,-
000 a day for failure he pierced the
St. Gothard tunnel through the Alps.
That stupendous work cost eight times
the original estimates of ten millions,
but it was done, aud done to the ever
lasting glory of human pluck.—Girard
in Philadelphia Ledger.
Queer Nest of the Tontobane.
The oddest of all birds' nests is the
one built by the tontobane, a South
African songster. It is built of cotton
and always upon the tree producing
the material. In constructing the dom
icile the female works inside and the
male outside, where he builds a senti
nel box for his own special use. He
sits in the box and keeps watch or
sings nearly all the time, and when
danger comes in the form of a hawk or
a snake he warns the family, but never
enters the main nest.
Some Climate! *
It is a natural law in California, es
pecially in the southern part of the
state, that folks grow young instead of
old. Every time a rose fades in this
sweet land its color finds its way into
the cheeks of some visitor from the
east who has come here to seek the
health which only a clime like this can
give.—Los Angeles Times.
Grass is the natural food of the
horse. On no other food will it keen
In Hhv. law,: ;> M> ' « r live :
Funston's Nickname.
General Frederick Fuustoii was a
member of the Phi Delta Theta frater
nity at the University of Kansas. The
general's fraternity brothers at Kansas
knew him as "Timrny." This nickname
came about through the poor writing of
the fraternity member who sent in the
names of the pledges the year Funston
became a Phi Delt. The name was
printed "Tiinston" in the Phi Delta
Theta magazine, and in the form of
"Timmy" stuck to the stocky, cocky
collegian throughout his college career.
—Kansas City Star.
_____
"Father," said little Johnnie, accept
ing his daily allowance, "I wish you
wouldn't hand that nickel in such a
horribly patronizing manner. Ostenti.
tious giving is exceedingly bourgeois."
—Epworth Herald.
The Barber's Query.
There is always something Interest
ing in a barber shop. For instance,
we always get a sly grin when a cus
tomer wearing on his face what is
very plainly a six days' growth of
beard is asked by the barber whose
chair he approaches, "Shave, sir?" One
can't help wondering what the barber
thinks he might have come in to have
done.—Detroit Free Press.
Trained Athletes have cleared twen
ty-four feer aud a few inches in a run
ning broad jump contest, but ordinary
human beings do not, as a rule, rank
well as jumpers.
What's In a Name?
Turkish cigarettes come from Vir
ginia.
French china comes from Ohio.
Persian rugs come from Massachu
setts.
Russian caviare comes from Michi
gan.
English herring come from Oregon.
Norwegian sardines come from
Maine.
Havana tobacco comes from Ken
tucky.
Irish linen comes from New York.—
| Cincinnati Enquirer.
Preparedness.
"Mamma, I wish I had a crutch,'
| complained little Johnnie.
"What in the world does a boy witt
two good straight legs want with a
crutch?"
"Well, mamma, it's a good thing ti
practice on in case you get hurt
i have to use it some time."—Philadel
' phia Ledger.
A Philosopher's
Application For a
Wife
By ELINOR MARSH
S -3
Albert St. Clair was a philosopher'.
He was born in America, but of Eng
i li.sh parents. He had papers to show
that he was of goud stock, but ha-i
never examined them. He believed all
men to be a development of the ape.
St. Clair fell in love with a girl, who
reciprocated. lie didn't talk about
man and woman having descended
from apes. He talked the language of
love. After he had proposed Laura
Hilton—that was the girl's name—sent
him to her father for an answer.
"I shall have to know more about
you before I can give my consent,"
said Mr. Hilton. "To what family do
you belong and what is your income?"
"I belong to the humaif family, and
my income is $2,000 a year. The prin
cipal was earned by lecturing on mau
and his ancestors."
"That is barely sufficient to lodge
aud feed yourself and a wife. You
would have nothing for clothes and in
; cidental expenses."
"Clothes are simply the covering of
the lower animals which are trans
formed to man. What he does not get
this way he derives from the vegetable
kingdom. The sheep clothes him and
his wife. She wears rat skins on her
hands and sticks an ostrich feather in
her hat. Her stockings when she is
much dressed are the excrescence of
worms."
"Nevertheless you will find it incon
venient to get on without these arti
cles. How about your family connec
tions?"
"Family connections are of no more
importance in man than any other ani
mal. Indeed, the family connections
of a horse are much more important
than those of a man. A racing sire
and dam are important, because swift
ness of foot Is Inherited. In man
swiftness of foot is of no importance.
What is of importance in him is intel
lect. But intellectual man seldom
marries intellectual woman, and if he
does the children are liable to be only
fools."
"That is all very well, but my daugh
ter has associated with refined per
sons. If her husband's relatives are
coarse she will not get on with them."
"What is refinement but a conceal
ment of our brute instincts? Pigs eat;
so does man. Pigs put the fore feet in
the trough; man sits at a table and
eats with a knife and fork. The worst j
thing about him is that he eats the
pig, which is the dirtiest of all ani
mals. Man cannot get rid of his brute
nature; he can only cover it over with
a thin coat of veneer."
"That veneer is essential to our hap
piness. My daughter has associated
with those who eat the daintiest food,
wear the richest fabrics and orna
ments. Surely you cannot supply her
with jewels?"
"Nothing marks the barbarian more
plainly than ornamentation of the
body. The most barbarous woman
wears necklaces and ear and lip rings ,
of teeth dr bone r-r metal. most !
refined woman wears stones and
metals."
"One with such ideas as yours is not
apt to have much respect for the |
sacred ceremony of marriage."
"Marriage draws man away from his j
native state, the state of other aui- '
mals. Four footed brides and grooms J
do not trouble themselves about each
others' relatives and other detriments
to a hearty progeny. If a strong and
healthy man who eats with his knife
desires to marry a strong and healthy
woman who eats with her fork her
relatives will defeat the union if they
can. But if she desires to marry a
living skeleton of birth and breeding j
they are delighted with the match."
"Mr. St. Clair, I have listened to your
statement of reasons why you should
be permitted to marry my daughter
and am forced to admit that, while as
reasons they are worthless, there are
truths in them. Nevertheless I con
sider ~ou the biggest fool I ever met
But, as you have said, intellect is not
so liable to be inherited as strength,
the intellectual man seldom marrying
the intellectual woman, or vice versa,
therefore if you are a king or a prince
or even a nobleman, with large wealth,
you may be my son-in-law; if not, I
forbid the banns."
"Nothing remains," said St. Clair,
bowing himself out, "but to look into
my pedigree and learn whether any
of my family, in whom I have never
taken the slightest interest have left
me any money."
Later he returned to Mr. Hilton and
said:
"I have examined papers in my pos
session and have learned that I am
not a king."
"I thought not," said the other dryly.
"Nor am I a duke."
"Exactly."
"But my grandfather was an earl,
and a letter bearing a coronet on it
that I received some years ago and
which I did not open informs me that
my grandfather and father being dead, j
I am the Earl of Macknalton."
"iiideed!''
''And I am heir, so the letter says, (
.o one of the largest estates in Eng
land."
"I congratulate you."
"If your daughter marries me she
may wed a fool, but she will be Lady
Macknalton and will be able to deco
rate her person ap elaborately as the
most degraded savage."
"The title and the jewels will be
very acceptable."
"When shall the wedding ceremony
take place?" i ,
"Whenever your lordship desires."
Learning In
The Fists
By RICHARD MENKLEY
* *
As a little fellow I wasn't verj
strong. I Ltad the measles and the
scarlet fe' .• and all kinds of chil
dren s diseases. Any boy of my age
could lick me very easily.
When I was about eighteen years old
a feiier come round o :vLu" box in' les
sons. 1 went to see him give a lesson
—it was in a barn—and 1 was mighty
tickled the way he polished off some
o' the big fellers that he was teachin'.
He wasn't big himself, though he was
wiry; there wasn't any knotty muscles
standin' out on his arms and legs; they
was jist good ordinary arms and legs.
As for length, I reckon he measured
about five feet six in his stoekin's.
It was all in the way he done it A
feller who could throw a hundred
pounds o' hay up into a loft on the
end o' a pitchfork would make a lunge
at him that if It had hit him square
without gloves would 'a' made jelly of
him. But the little man wasn't there
to be hit Before the big one could
git back into position he got a blow on
the jaw\
I persuaded dad to give me the mon
ey to take boxin' lessons, and after a
dozen lessons I was the best boxer in
the county. What made me stuck on
it was that I was a little feller with no
great muscle, and after I'd learned to
box I was cock o' the walk. None o'
the big ones who took lessons could
down me. The reason for this was
that I was mighty spry, and I could
tell by watch in' the other feller's eye
jist what he was goin' to do next
One day dad says to me, says he:
"Josh, you've got a lot of learnin' in
yer fists. I reckon you'd better git some
in yer head. There's a young woman
opened a schule over to the crossroads;
you better larn somethin' about readin',
writin' and 'rithmetic."
I thort I was too old to go to schule,
but when I got there I found the schol
ars was mighty mixed. There was
scholars all the way from twelve to
twenty-four years old. The schulemarm
was a young thing weighin* about a
hundred pounds and not more'n eight
een years old. The first few days
things went mighty quiet, but after the
novelty wore off some o' the big fellers
begun to get tired o' behavin' their
selves and showed a disposition to do
purty much as they pleased. When
teacher told 'em to stop talkin' to each
other durin' schule hours they'd stop
for awhile, but it wasn't long before
they were at it again.
John Whittaker began ticklin' Sam
Talifer with a feather, Sam sittin' in
the'desk in front of John.
told John to stop. He did, but in a
few minutes begun ag'in. This time
when teacher told him to stop he kept
right on.
I held up my hand, lettin' on I want
ed to speak.
"What is it, Josh?" asked teacher.
"Please, teacher, kin John Whittaker
and me take a recess?"
She looked at me, and John looked
at me, and we all understood one an
other.
"If you wish to be excused you may
go out," she said to me.
"How about me?" asked John.
"You may be excused too."
John and I went outside, and as soon
as we got there he says to me, says
he, "Reckon you want somep'n o' me."
And I says, says I: "Reckon I do. I
want you to agree to behave yourself
in schule. What d' ye mean, a great
hulk like you settin' yourself up agin
a little gal like that?" "It's none o'
your business," he says. "I'll make it
my business," I says, and before he
knew what had happened he was
sprawlin' on the ground.
He got up and come for me like a
mad bull. But what could he do? I
was never where he struck at, and
when I aimed a blow at him he was
always there. The second punch I
give him was in the nose, and the
blood bothered him. The third was
in his left eye and closed it up. There
wasn't anything tender about him, and
I was obliged to take him under the
jaw with all my might to put him out
o' the fight
While we was at it I caught sight o'
the winders of the sc-hulehouse, and
they was full o' the scholars. I reckon
ed teacher couldn't keep 'em at their
lessons while there was somethin' so
much more interestin' goin' on outside.
Some o' the older scholars came out
to watch the proceeding 'and stood
around wonderin' how such a little
shaver could knock about a great hulk
of a feller jist as if he was a bag o
sand. When I tuk John under the jaw
I knocked it out o' plumb. He got uj
slow, but he didn't come for me ag'in.
Holdin' on to his cheek, he went off
to a doctor to get it put in place ag'in.
The rest of us went back to our
schule work. Nobody made any dis
turbance. Oncet two fellers started to
whisper, but I jist throwed a glance
their way, and it had the same effect
as if I'd throwed a stone. They stop
ped right away.
When schule let out teacher she beck
oned me to lag behind, and I did. She
tey hand and squeezed it. but she
didn't say nothin'. I reckon she feel
so much she couldn't talk.
"Don't you worry about the scholar '
behavior," I said. "They won't irer
cuttin' up no more."
"I don't think they will." she said,
"so long as I have su h a -ergeant-at
acms to keep order/*
John Whittaker didn't come back to
schule any more, and the otli >r bic fel
lers didn'f make any disru. me. I
didn't get much larnin*. I reckon it
was 'cause I had to watch the holars.
Anyway, it wasn't teacher's fault.
Voter's Catechism.
D. Have you read the Consti
tution of the United States?
R. Yes.
D. What form of Govern
ment is this?
R. Republic.
D. What is the Constitution
of the United States?
R. It is the fundamental law
of this country.
D. Who makes the laws of
the United States?
R. The Congress.
D. What does Congress con
sist of?
R. Senate and House of Rep
i resentatives.
D. Who is our State Senator?
R. Wilbur P. Graff.
D. Who is the chief executive
of the United States?
R. President.
D. For how long is the Presi
dent of the United States elect
ed?
R. Four years.
D. Who takes the place of
the President in case he dies?
R. The Vice President.
D. What is his name?
R. Thomas R. Marshall.
D. By whom is the President
of the United States elected?
R. By the electors.
D. By whom are the electors
chosen ?
R. By the people.
D. Who makes the laws for
the State of Pennsylvania.
R. The Legislature.
D. What does the Legislature
consist of?
R. Senate and Assembly.
D. Who is our Assembly
man?
R. Wilmer H. Wood.
D. How many States in the
union ?
R. Forty-eight.
D. When was the Declaration
of Independence signed ?
R. July 4, 1776.
, D. By whom was it written?
R. Thomas Jefferson.
D. Which is the capital of the
United States?
R. Washington.
D. Which is the capital of the
state of Pennsylvania.
R. Harrisburg.
D. How many Senators has
each state in the United States?
R. Two.
( D. Who are our U. S. Sena
tors?
R. Boise Penrose and George
T. Oliver.
D. By whom are they elect
ed?
Ft. By the people.
D. For how long?
R. Six years.
D. How many representa
tives are there?
R. 435. According to the
population one to every 211,000,
(the ratio fixed by Congress af
ter each decennial census.)
D. For how long are they
elected ?
R. Two years.
D. Who is our Congressman ?
R. Nathan L. Strong.
D. How many electoral votes
has the state of Pennsylvania?
R. Thirty-eight.
D. Who is the chief execu
tive of the state of Pennsyl
vania ?
R. The Governor.
D. For how long is he elect
ed?
R. 4 years.
D. Who is the Governor?
R. Martin G. Brumbaugh.
D. Do you believe in organ
ized government?
R. Yes.
D. Are you opposed to or
ganized government?
R. No.
D. Are you an anarchist ?
R. Nc.
D. What is an anarchist?
R. A person who does not be
lieve in organized government.
D. Are you a bigamist or
poligamist ?
R. No.
D. What is a bigamist or po
lygamist ?
R. One who believes in hav
ing more than one wife.
D. Do you belong to any se
cret society who teaches to dis
believe in organized govern
ment?
R. No.
D. Have you ever violated
any laws of the United States?
R. No.
D. Who makes the ordinances
for the City?
R. The board of aldermen.
D. Do you intend to remain
permanently in the U. S.?
R. Yes.