A Popular Dlaasaa
Vfeat American Is there who has not
Ban or Is not going to be a president
of aorae thing? Time was when the
ranter of societies, clubs, orgunlza
Dona, chapters, associations, etc.. was
limited that only about one in ten
thousand could be a president Now
aoixxly. t.'.t matter how bumble he la.
cm avoid the office.—Life.
The Great Eastern.
Tbe dimensions of the one Rme world
famouH Great Eastern were us fol
lows : Length. *502 feet: width. R3 feet:
depth. CO feet: tounage. 24J*X tons:
firnft when unloaded. 2*) feet: when
•tended. 30 feet. She bad paddle wheel*
■fty-six feet In diameter and was also
provided with a four bladed screw prir
pcller of twenty-four feet diameter
She had tic omniodations for MOO first
otasH. 2.R00 second class and 1.200 third
Hass passengers. 4.000 in all rier
Agteed was ulxuit eighteen m'les an
hour. The Great Eastern wis finally
broken up for old iron in the year
IWV) after n checkered career of some
thirty-one years.
Four Kinds of Peoplo.
There are four kinds of jieople;
Ini Those who are grouchy at home
and p.easant everywhere else.
(b Those wln> u.e pleasant at home
axi l groin hy everywhere else.
tt Thoce who are pleasant both ut
home and elsewhere.
tC) Thoce who nre grouchy every
where.
Class u are as the sands of the sea.
Cia s (b> are rare.
Class k' u.e rarer.
Class k1 > nre public and private nui
sances.—Strickland Gillilau. in Judge.
Versatile.
It was at a reception, and the two
Brfcsds had met.
"Io you know." said Ina. "it was as
much us I could do to keep from laugh
ing when Josephine was Just telling r
about lev li nice being 'so versatile?''
"Meaning Webb?" replied Kathleen,
smiling. "Well. dear, he Is rather ver
satile. you know."
"Nonsense!" erieJ Ina. "You know.
Kntblecti. lie Is a regular Idiot."
"Yes." replied Kathleen, "but he'* so
many kinds of uu idiot-"—Bt. Iuls
•Post-Dispatch.
Not a Bad Way.
"1 wonder how Ananias and Sap
phtra got along as a married couple.
They were both liars."
"Probably they Just ted each
other's little yarns and let it go at
that."—Exchange.
Hen Trickery.
Since Australia is at the antipodes
from us the hens there naturullr lay (
best from May to November, c* trary
u the habit of hens here. It is now sug
gested that if a hen after her annual
tayiug period in the southern hemi
sphere were rushed across the equator
to the United States she might lay dur
ing t'ae rest of the year at the same
rate und thus establish a new "record"
for a year's production. Still. it looks
|:ke a mean trick to play on a poor hen,
•-Youth's Companion.
Descriptive. !'
"Freddy." said the visitor, "i hear
your father gave you a watch for your
Birthday. Was It a hunting case
watch?"
"No. ma'am." replied Freddy: "it was
a bare faced watch."—Chicago News.
Mocha Coffee.
'The name of Mocha coffee is applied
generally to the col Tee produced In
Arabia and Mivssinia.
Arms and the Men.
"I see you have your arm in a sting,"
said the inquisitive passenger. "Bro
ken. is it?"
"Yes. sir." cesiKiuded the. other pas
senger.
"Meet with an accident?"
"No. Broke if while I was trying
to pat myself 011 the baek."
"Great Scott! What for?"
"For minding my owu business."
"I see. Never could hupi>eu to me. '
eou.d it ?"
"No."
"Aud if it did ! wouldn't be blame
fool enough to tell -it."
Then there was silence iu t'ae car. —
Chicago Tribune.
Political Note.
T:i. what is meant by 'emoluments
of offli e?'"
"That's a high sounding word used
frequently by politicians to denote
their pay. mv son. and it's like char j
fty."
"How's that, pa?"
"Tt wvers a multitude of sins."—Bir
mingham Age-Herald.
Innocent Cause of It.
"How did you happen t< leave your
last place?"
"The house was burued down,
ma'am."
"Well, of eotirse you were not to
btarne for that."
"No'm. The lady what hired me
wouldn't furnish fat klndlin'. an' I had j
to start the fires with kerosene."—Bir
mingham Age-Herald.
Saving Trouble.
"Can you tell me," said the pood na
tared old gentleman, "why those golf
ers over there called me all those
frtghtful names just nor ?"
"Why. what happenedT*
"Oh. when they hit their ball over
here I picked it up and threw it back
to them to save them the trouble of
x>ming for it."—Christian Register.
Another Denial.
At a dinner of the Gridiron club In
1913 Thomas F. Logan of the Phila
delphia Inquirer was initiated as a
member, nnd part of bis baziug was to
go about as a young reporter and in
terview the guests. Then he was ques
tioned coiK-crning the results.
"Dkl you interview the secretary of
war?** he was asked.
"Yes."
"What did be say7"
"He denies it."
"What does he deny?'
"Why. what I asked bira. and he said
it didn't make any difference what; It
was the immemorial custom of the war
department to deny everything."—Ar
thur W. Dunn's "Gridiron Nights."
His Maternal Grandma.
A devotel father after a day's ab
sence was met by bis two iittle sous.
"Ilave you leeu good itoys?"
Silence.
"Have you been good boys?"
"No. papa. I t ailed grandma a bad
word." said the tive-year-old. turning
scarlet
"Is it possible? What did yon call .
your granJma?"
"I called her a human being."
The father, with a mighty effort,
maintained Ids gravity and closed the
scene decorously. "I must forgive you
for oic-e. but remember If you ever
t ail yocr grandmother a human being
again I sYdl have to spank you"—
Loudon TeVgrapb
Man's Lim.tations.
Mail has done wonders since lie came
before the public. He has navigated
the ocean, be has penetrated the my*
teries of the starry heavens, he has
harnessed the lightning and made it
light the great cities of the world.
[tut he can't find a spool of thread I
in bis wife's workbasket; he can't dis
cover her i>ocket in a dress banging in
the closet; lie cannot bang out clothes
and get them on ibe line the right end
up. lie cannot hold clothes pegs in bis
mouth while he is doiug it either. He
cannot be polite to somebody be bates.
In short, he cannot do a hundred
things that women do almost instioc
lively.
A Vary Old Rule.
The oldest mutbematic book in the
world is lielieved to be the "Papyrus
Rhind" hi the British museum, pro
fessed to have been written by Ahmes.
a scribe of King Ra-u-us. about the
period between 20CO and 17<M) B. C.
This "Papyrus Rhind" was translated
by Risenlohr of I>*ipzig. and it was
found to contain u rule for making a
square equal in area to a given circle.
It was not put forth as an original dis
covery. but as the transcript of a
treatise sC<> years older still, which
sends us back to approximately 2TXX)
B. C.. when Egyptian mathematicians
solved, or thought they had solved, the
problem of squaring the circle.
No Pity There.
Undutiful boys may see themselves
held up as before a mirror in the fol
lowing anecdote: A young Irish girl
in giving testimony in a court of jus
tice. when asked some uuestions in
I reference to the prisoner, replied. "Ar
'rah. sir. I'm sure he never made his
/mother smile." There is a biography
of uiikindncss in that simple sentence.
—St. Louis Globe-Democrat-
Lucky Dog.
"My wife is excessively fond of her
poodle. "Actually I'm beginning to look
011 it as a sort of rival to me."
"Say. you'tg lucky. I'm only a sort
of a rival to my wife's poodle."—Kan
sas City Times.
The Observant Beggar.
"Excuse me. sir." said the pan
handler. shuCliiig tip to Dubbleigh's
side, "but you couldn't let me have
$l5. could you?"
"Fifteen dollars!" echoed Dubblelgh.
"Great Seott. man. do you for one
moment suppose I'd he fool enough to
give you $15?"
"No. chief. I didn't," said the pan
handle:-. "hut I sort o* hoped you'd re
gard it as a kind of personal assess
ment and s— ear off $l-1.1)0. leuvin' me
with a dime to the good."
He got it. -New York Times.
Cutting.
Young Wife—How fortunate 1 am
tt possessing a husband who always
stays at home in the evening!
Bosom Friend—Yes: your husband
. never was much addicted to pleasure,
j —New York Telegram.
* - * —- * ——'■ *'* 1*" 1 —1 —*| '*|C.
J • • • • j
4 OPPORTUNITY. .J.
' X 1
Every day brings to our door T
I T something (hit is good to do and
V that it neve-* will come our way 4
t !• 4
4> to do aga n. If we are blind and a.
T do not see it and then insist that J.
T our days arc featureless, whose 4
4 fault is t? Opportunity does its j-
X part, and we must likewise do X
I our part. J
•M-I-M I ■: 1 I I I 1 H 1 1 H M i -I I I I I
►M-I-t-H t I : I 1-H-K-H-H-KH-H-W
a • #5-
;• DO IT NOW. |
Begin this very moment to live 4
• • the right life. The man who 4
•• postpones the day for living as 4
• ♦ he knows he ought to live is like 4
.. the fool who sits by the river X
I! and waits till it flows no more, X
*" but it glides and wit! glide on tit! T
T time is no mors. T
; I BE TACTFUL.
Talent is something, but tact
"* is everything- Talent is sect- ..
" out. sober, grave and reepecta- *"
>• ble. Tact is all that and more ••
too. ft is not a sever'h -r-sr
but is the life of all the five. It lj!
'* is the open eye, the quick ear, j*
• • the judging taste, the keen X
.. smell and the lively touch. It is X
|| the interpreter of alt riddles, the T
" surmounter of all difficulties -|*
• > end the remover of all obstacles. X
|| Tact is a wonder worker. X
• *'"H"l i ■!■■! i ? ■t-i -i t
M ercurial.
The adjective mercurial, like many
others, came into ordinary speech from
the realm of astrology. In astrological
language a mercurial man was one
born under the influence of Mercury
when Mercury was in tbe ascendant
and therefore possessed of the mental
qualities supposed to distinguish the
heathen
Strength of Bees.
Hun !n i' l ei'.s ,an liaug one to
another • m tearing away the feet
of the '
1 cr occo.
M- i c of its clt>se proxim
ity t i *!;• most fauatieal of
tin . *?idrles.
Vv'cuid Help Him.
"I'M try to make you a gcd husband,
my dear."
"And I have no doubt that you will
succeed. Mother nnd I will abet your
effort* in that direction vigorously."—
Loi lisville Courier Journal.
The Irish Sea.
The English channel is nowhere
more than 1k) feet deep. The Irish
sen is 2.130 feet.
The Wild Elephant.
A wild elephant has such n delicate
sense of smell that it cau detect an
enemy nenrlv a mile away.
MAP TO WHICH ENGLISH CENSOR OBJECTED.
f i
- &►**P \\%E i
y|w * .^*|g^ i^^6y^-" st?ASf-^v
C/ 1 /*
: Vi,;;,v • jsa'..' \>L" J* ' 5 Tv*
IBll^
The above map was published recently by the London Daily Mail as show
ing how the Germans, through the invasion of Servia. successfully carried out
with Bulgaria's aid and through the subsequent opening of the road to Con
stantinople accomplished au important step toward the materialization of the
plan to strike at "the heart of the British empire" by invading Eg pr and India
As u result of its publication Lord Northeliffe, proprietor of the paper, was
severely < ensured by the government in the house of commons and threatened
with prosecution in the courts. The map was reproduced by Daheim. a Ger
man illustrated weekly. Since it was tirst published the black line has been
extended over the whole of Servia and part of Montenegro. Germany aims, ac
cording to authentic reports', at the conquest control of the Suez canal,
through which i>asses the major portion of the traffic between Great Britain
and India.
Big Ostriches.
That ostriches on e grew fifteen feet
in height is shown by remains found
in the island of Madagascar.
Tell It Not In Cat'n.
"Toll it not in Oath" moans now
adays "Keep it a secret" and is from
the Old Testament. Gnth was a
Philistine city, but is sometimes used
to mean "Judih." The reference is
found in II Samuel i. 20
Distant Popularity.
"Does absence really make the heart
grow ronder?"
"It does In some cases. There are
persons who when they are a thousand
or so miles away I can almost tolerate."
—Richmond Times-Dispatch.
Books as Camsrs or Uiseass.
The report of the commissioner of
education undertakes to reassure per- I
sons who are fearful of the spreud of [
disease through books by recording the
results of recent investigation at Yak
university. During the cleaning of the
library a chemical analysis of the dus;
was made. About half of this was
found to be mineral matter. whHe tb
other half was organic, including pj j
per fiber, wood fiber and molds. No
mouth bacteria were found, and in j
general the analysis showed the harm- 1
lessnese of the dust.
The "Bull.*
Tbe origin of the word "boll" ma tbe
definition of a confused utterance is
doubtfuL Some philologists say it
come* from the French boule— "fraud"
—and others that it is derived from
the Icelandic bull—"minseuse." Many
definitions have been attempted, but
tbe ' est ; *■->* nbty Is thnt of Sydney
Smith. Writing of the difference be
tween wit and "bulls." he save: "Wit
discovers real relatione that are aj>-
parent: 'bol's' admit apparent relations
that are not real. The stronger the
apparent connection and tbe more com
plete the real disconnection of tbe
ideas the greater the surprise and the
better the 'hull.' **
Wholly Inappropriate.
"I can't find any old clothes to put
on the scarecrow." said Farmer Corn
tossel.
"You might use some of the fancy
dud* our boy Josh brought home." sug
gested his wife.
"I'm tryin* to * arc the crows. I'm
not tr. •■' to make *eiu laugh."—Har
vard LumjKxm
Know What a Mole l?
now dull the dictionary. It says "a
mole is a i>eruianent dark brown spot
on the human skin." A California
poetess refers to a mole as "a teardrop
petrified by its own audacity."—Toledo
Blade.
Wasps.
Wasps are said to rank next to the
higher classes of ants in point of in
sect iutel.igeiK'e.
Where the Worry Comes.
"Are you not worried b\ your wife's
absence?" "No. It's her return that al
ways worrl' s me "
Early Irish Kings.
Beginning from A. D. 4. seven sue
cessive kings of Ireland were all slain,
four of tbeui by their successors.
Gales.
The average number of gales that
sweep the world In a year is a Unit
sixty-six.
The Booth.
A the: iri< al man. In an appreciation
of .Junius Brutus Booth, declares that
"intellectually he stood above any ac
tor of his own or any other time." In
justifii a:i< n of this praise these claims
are made. Booth bnd a knowledge of
seamanship acquired as a midshipman,
was an expert printer, had studied law
and medicine, was an acute theologian
and spoke tight languages fluently, be
sides being "the greatest actor who
er spoke the English language."—Ex
t haute.
Refuge In the Office.
"What makes Bliggins in such a
hurry to £ et to work in the morning?"
"He isn't getting to work. His faro
tfy has moved and they're fixing up the
louse. He's getting away from work."
Washington Btar.
• tth Culture.
The United States does more to stock
its inland waters with edible fish than
any other nation.
Acute Indigestion.
Acute indigestion Is a catarrhal in
flammation of the lining mucous mem
brane of the stomach caused by food
which is indigestible or has begun to
decompose. This condltiou is very fa
vorable to the growth of disease germs.
Mighty la T'rtiee.
Tba ruler of Turkey in addition to
j tbe titles sultan and kha-kban (high
j prince and lord of lordsi. also claims
sovereignty over moat districts, towns,
j cities and states in tbe orient, specify
j ing each by name aud setting out in
each of bis *- a riou* titles "all tbe fort*.
' citadels, purlieus aud neighborhood
• thereof" in regular legal form. His of
ficial designation ends. "Sovereign also
of diverse nations, states. i>eople* aud
races on tbe fare of the earth." All
this is In addition to his high p*?itton
as "head of tbe faithful" nnd "supreme
lord of all the followers of the propb
et." "direct and only lieutenant on
earth of Mohammed."
Th# Safa Spot.
"So when you bad 200 feet start t*
esca]>e you ran Instead directly up to
the bear when your gun failed to
' work? I don't know whether you were
' a foolhardy hero or a rattled fool!*' de
1 tdared the doctor as he sewed up
Smith's numerous wounds.
"I was neither." explained Smith,
i "1 used remarkable judgment at a
I critical moment. You see. the Imar
: was between Jones and myself. I saw
Jones was .* 'wit to tire, so I took shel
ter at the safest spot—with the tear."
j —New York Sun.
The Change of a Name.
How family names change In tbe
course of many year* is illustrated by
the conversion of "Botcvile" into
"Thymic." An English deed bearing
date in the closing days of the fif
! teenth century shows three brother*
then flourishing—John Botevlle of
Botevile and Thomas and William
Botevile. i"ie trio are distinguished
from all other Botevile* by the ex
planation "r* the Inne." or family res
idence. the ' + le to which had come to
thiir joint posses don. John's grand
son was known a* Ralph Botevile-o*
j the liuie. from which the transition to
j Ralph Thynne Is easy. His descend-
I ants have b,en Thynnes ever since.
Holding Up the Earth.
According to East Indian mythology,
tin* earth is supiiorted by eight white
elephants.
The Burden of Gol'.
Golfer (with a full bag. looking for a
caddie)—l say. my friend, do you hap
pen to know of any one who— Near
sighted Villager (testily)— No. I don't
An the folks round here does their own
umbrella repairin'.—Puck.
Dalicats Scales.
There are two sets of scales in use 1L
the New Orleans mint the larger of
which weighs anything from one-thou
sandth of an ounce to OCX) pounds. The
second scale, wttb its agate bearings,
will weigh accurately a human hair.
Nothing New.
"1 see." said Bilklns, "that a French
scientist has discovered a method for
staving off old age."
"Well, what of it?" demanded Wil
kins. "There's nothing new in that A
maD can stare off okl age by jumping
off the Eiffel tower, or dropping a
lighted match in a powder barrel while
sitting on it or by rocking the boat
when he's out in the water, or by rid
lng over Niagara falls sitting astride
of a log. Those French scientists make
me tired with their hullabaloo over
nothing."—Harper's Weekly.
EXPANDING THE CHEST.
Proper Attitude to Assume During
Breathing Exercises.
It has been the popular belief that
when exercising certain arm move
ments during inspiration, such as bold
j ing the arms up, expand the chest
arvl ft to t rVe in more ir. Ao
-1 curvuug 10 uc. .imok-o ticucuvi
In an article in the Medical .Journal.
' Jiis is not the pro;er thing to do. He
tested fifty person* of both sexes,
ranging from sixteen to forty veitrs of
j age. measuring carefully the quuutity
of air inspired when elevating the
arms, as usually taught, and when
standing still wr.th the arms hanging
loose, lie found that in uo single case
dkl the arm movements increase the
juantity of uir insplreJ. but In many
they actually decreased IL He also
found that standing naturally is more
• conducive to deep breath ug than ly
ing flat or banging by the hands.
"The raising of the arms." he writes,
"does apparently increase the measure
ments of the upper parts of the ( best,
bnt the increase Is due to the change
in the position of the muscles in this
region and to their contraction o
I stretching, which causes them to stand
out from the thorax. For the muscles
which lift the arms forward or side
ward or upward have nothing to do
with the lifting of tlie i*Ps. inul conse
quently no special effect upon the
depth of inspiration.
"With very deep Inspiration there is
a drawing backward of the head and a
straightening of be thoracic spine. lit
other words, the assuming of a very
posture and. If any exercises are
to be carried out a* aids to deep in
take of air. It seems that the drawing
backward of the chin and the assump
tion of the moat erect standing or sir
ting posture would be most useful as
an aid or accompaniment of deep
breathing."
London's Windmill.
New Zealand, we are Informed, now
boasts only a single windmill. In this
resfieet London is equal with the An
tipodes. On Brixton hill, just by the
waterworks and only a few yards
from the main road, stands an old mill
intact with the exception f the sails,
and still in use. though now electricity
takes the place of wind as motive pow
er. The mill was erected by a Quaker
about a <-entury ago, and lias remained
in the family ever since.—London
Chronicle.
Pascal's Carly Observation.
Blaise Rascal, who wrote a remark
able treatise on the laws of souti I.
was constantly observing the familiar
occurrences alwit him even as a boy.
When he was only ten years old he
sat at the dinner table one day strik
ing bis plate with his knife and then
listening to the sound.
"What are you doing with that plate,
Blaise 7* asked his *ister.
"See." he replied. "When I strike
the plate with my knife It rings.
Hark!"
Again he called forth the sound.
"When I grasp it with my band so."
he continued, "the sound ceases. I
wonder why it is."
Carthage's Great Snake.
The ancients firmly believed in mon
ster serients of all kinds and of both
the laud and marine species. During
the wars with Carthage a great snake
is said to have kept the Roman army
from crossing the Bagrados river for
several day The monster swallowed
up no less than seventy Roman sol
diers during this combat and was not
conquered until a bundled stones from
as many different catapults were tired
upon it all sir one time. The monster's
skull and skin were preserved and aft
erward exhibited in one of the Roman
temples. The dried skin of the crea
ture was 120 feet in length, according
I to Plinj.
Dumas, Father and Son.
A story is to'.d about the two Dt
mns:s. father and son. which illus
trates the i relations between
the two. T!:e son had written his til'st
successful novel, and the father wrote
him a letter of congratulation, which
he began in the formal manner of
"Dear Sir," This letter throughout
read as though addressed to a total
stronger and merely thanked the au
thor for tiie ] ilea sure the book had
given him. Dumas fils answered in
thus manner:
Sir—l thank you mo6t heartily for your
kind letter. Praise from you Is especially
appreciated by me, as 1 have always
heard of you as the most enthusiastic ad
mi er of my father, who also makes some
pretension of being a novelist.
The Eskimo Baby.
The clothing of the Eskimo baby Is
often very scanty. In fact, one occa
slonally see* a baby being carried In
its mother's hood with only a cotton
shirt on. desjrtte the fact that the ther
mometer registers 20 degrees below
eero. The mother's hood is the baby's
cradle. Being made of seal or deer
skin. It Is warm and wind proof. The
Infant also has the benefit of the heat
of ita mother's body and is out of
harm's way. If it were laid in a bas
ket cradle In the tent it would be very
much In tbe way and would always
he in danger of falling a prey to the
woifish Eskimo dogs that prowl rouu&
tbe door by day and night, ever ready
to pick up a dainty morsel.
iimiMHlilMlM IM I II I-fr
X a a
I PATIENCE. •
-p Be patient. God has all ater- '.I
T nity in which to maka plain tha |'
•r hidden things of your life- •
V