Official Returns, General Election, 1915 iigo j? F 3 H>2| ~ B £, £ =•* li? s H i pi!§? i" P> ? ? m r ? says, "Count five, ray lad.** I give 'i-n this 'ere song: I "It's a lctig way to Tlpperary, It's a long w to go. It's a iorg way to Tlpperary And the sweetest girl I know!" They chucked ine in a luggage ran with 'alf a 'undre 1 more. And grew some k nd of cheer it was, witb straw ticks on the f.o r. The matey wot was nearest m© *ac an English nurse was near. With natural imperliteness I said, "Morn in,' sister, dear!" She turned as white as paper. "Man, b© careful what you say! You 'aven't spoke for seven weeks—w© thought you'd die today!" "It's a long way to Tipperary, But when 1 'eave in view, Moll won't m'r.d the crutches Because my 'eari is true. 'I don't mind your crutches, Tom, I know your love is true!' That's wot Moll will say to me When I 'eave in view." —Romllly Thornton In New York Times. To Make Bandages. Bandages can prepared from the good parts of worn sheets or pillow slips if perfectly clean. Rolls six to eight yards In length are most conven ient—one inch wide for fingers, two inches for feet, two and one-half to three inches for head and arms and four Inches for legs. A good way of keeping them in condition for use is to seal the rolls In a perfectly clean glass fruit jar.—Philadelphia Record. Genuine Innocence. A youthful Ohio man who married a widow and went to Chicago for hio ! honeymoon complained to the hotel management that his pockets had been rifled of all the money he had the very first night. Did you ever think thero was such Innocence as thut in Ohio? — Houston Post. Another Face on It. "We ran across an old friend of your* •Jhe other day." "Who was it, and where did yo meet hiin?" "It was Mr. Toddler, and we didir*. exactly meet him—he wouldn't get ou* of the way."—Baltimore American. A Good Instrument. Sinclair—That's a nice looking bar ometer of yours. Is it sensitive? Rai lings—lt's too sensitive. It even indi cates when my wife Is going to hav a cryhig spell.—Puck. The Hungarian Crown. The Hungarian crown worn at their accession by the emperors of Austria as kings of Hungary is the identical one made for Stephen and used at hia coronation over 800 years ago. Tha whole is of pure gold, except the set tings, and weighs almost exactly four teen pounds. The settings above allud ed to consist of fifty-three sapphires* fifty rubies, one emerald and 33ft pearls. It Will be noticed that there are no diamonds among these precious adornments. This is accounted for by the oft quoted story of Stephen's aver sion to such gems because he consid ered them "unlucky." A False Alarm. "I know something, I do. übout m member of this family," said little Bobby Slithers triumphantly to hLs old er Bister, Maud. "Oh, dear!" exclaimed Miss Slithers. "Half a dollar is all I have, Bobby. Will you promise not to tell if I give you that?" "Sure, I will," answered Bobby in surprise. "But it ain't nothin* on you, sis. It was the cook and the iceman.'* —Birmingham Age-Herald. What She Learned. Mrs. Willis So your daughter Is home from domestic science scbooL I suppose she has learned several neer ways of washing the dishes. Mrs. Gillis—No;'she seems to have learned several new ways of getting oat of washing them.—Judge. Don't Worry. Mrs. Wullaby—De agent says if ir© ain't got de rent uex' Monday we's got to git oot. Sam Wullaby— Nex' Mon day? Den we doau' need to worry M de nex' fo' days.—Puck. / There are only two reads by which any important goal can be reached— sheer strength and perseverance.— Goethe. Literary. "Oh. I simply adore Meredith and b.owning and Henry James." said the gushing young person. "So do l." % sa!d Little Rinks. "They are perfeeti.. delightful, it's like send ing your mind to a gymnasium Er d< you read thm in the originalV— New York Times