LiSt Dumu Of Til • . M C. A. Course at the Audi torium on Thursday eve ning', Marc-I 4th. EVERY MEMBER A REAL ARTIST THE METROPOLITAN GRAND QUARTET. NEW IB ' - ' - - ' Photo by American Press Association. Company F of the Seventy-first regiment. New York national guard, try ing out winter clothes which may be adopted by the regular army. A Domestic Disturbance. The trouble began with a tea fight. The milk was sour, the cake cut up, and the sugar fell out with the tonga. The spoons clashed, and the tablo groaned. The fringes ou the dollies sna Fled, and the crackers snapped. The easy chairs were soon up in arms, and even the clocks did not agree. Things were no better in the kitchen. The pitchers were all set by the ears and stuck out their lips, while the teapot and kettle poked their noses into every thing. The range was redhot, which made the saucepan look black and final ly boil over. The bells started jangling, all the pickles and preserves in the cupboard were jarred, and there were any number of scraps in the refrig erator and meat safe. Naturally when the mistress of the house reached th scene of disorder the cook was put out —J udge. Overheard. "Tinker has placed an old railroad sign, 'Stop, look and listen!' at the en trance to his driveway." "What's the idea?" "His wife is runang the touring car."—Judge. Extremes. Cham, the French caricaturist, was talking one day with a Gascon, who bragged that his father's ancient bare nial dining hali was the wonder of the world. It was so high you could hard ly see the roof. "My father had a dining room," said Cham, "which was just as remarkable the other way. It was so low that the only fish we ctold serve at table was •♦onderP Hard to Pronounce. One of the hard names to pronounce VA that of the central Russian govern ment called Nijni Novogrod. The first "i" has the sound of "e;" the second is short. The "o" in the penultimate syllable is long, as in the English word "go." The "o" in the syllables "nov" and "rod" has the sound of * o" in the English word "rod." "J" has the soft French sound. The accents are on the first and last syllables, "Neezb ni Nov-go-rod." Descriptive. "Is she homely?" "Well. I wouldn't say that exactly. But after taking one look at her no one would ever think of asking why she had never married." Detroit Free Press. Falling Up Out of a Balloon. If a man falls out of a rising aero plane or balloou he will not go toward the earth, but will continue rising into the air for an appreciable time. If the air machine were stopped in its ascent at the .time it could catch the man as he came down. If the airship wen ascending at the rate of thirty-two feet a second the man would rise sixteen feet before beginning to fall toward the earth. Thus, by reducing the speed of its ascent, the vessel might keep by the side of the man and rescue him. The reason why the man rises is the same as the reason for a bullet's rising when shot from a gun into the air both the man and the bullet are given a velocity upward, and it takes some time for gravity to negative that velocity.—Glasgow News. TORPEDO BOAT DESTROYERS Work They Are Supposed to Perform In Time of War. As the name implies, torpedo boat destroyers were originally built to combat the sinalier torpedo tn>ut. which had become sucb a serious menace to the battleships and the large cruisers that searchlights aud rapid fire guns could not be depended upon for pro tectiuu. says a writer in Scribner's Magazine Gradually, however, the iuties of the destroyer were extended mtil they included all that was former .y done by the torpedo boat aud much t>esides The mere fact that a modern de strover is three or four times as large as oue of the earlier boats renders iL so much more seaworthy and capable of carrying so much more fuel that the radius of action of torpedo boat craft has been enormously iurreased. and they have become more and rnort dangerous to an enemy's fleet. The duties of a modern flotilla may be tabulated in this way: First.—Scouting This comprises lo eating and reporting the position of the enemy aud keeping in touch with him as long as may be necessary. Second. - Protection of one s own fleet from night attacks of the enemy s de stroyers This includes not only iocat lng and reporting the position of the hostile torpedo era ft. but. it necessary attacking them with your guns and sinking or driving them away before they can force home an attack against battleships Third Attacking the battleships of the enemy with your torpedoes. This is. of course, the paramount duty ol every vessel iu tbe Ootilia Fourth.-In addition to the above "regular" duties, destroyers are fre quently used in what might be called "gunboat work" patrolling the eue my's coast, running up his rivers where the big ships cannot go. overtaking and capturing his merchant vessels ar" firing on troops and field batterie. ashore. COAL MOUNTAIN TREATED LIKE A FEVER PATIENT. Farful of Spontaneous Combustion, Temperature Taken Frequently. Europe is getting its coal supply these days from the mines of Wessi Virginia. The coal is shipped to Italy. France. England and other countries through the port of Norfolk. During the year 1014 there were shipped from this port 12,050.000 tons, the biggest year in coal shipments in the history of this port. The Norfolk and Western railroad hauled to its piers at Lambert's point 5.5)59,793 tons during the year, the Chesapeake and Ohio 3.221.732 tons at its piers, and the Virginia railway delivered 2,830.- 305 tons at its So well point piers. The largest coal trains in the world now pass through Norfolk. It is U daily occurrence to see a train of 130 cars, pulled by four locomotives, pass through the outskirts of this city en route to the coal piers at Lambert's point and Sewell point. The Vir ginia railway has been operating spe cial trains, and it has dumi>ed 750.000 tons in its yard at Seweil point. It is spoken of as the "black diamond moun tain" by thousands of visitors who have seen it. It is guarded as careful ly as Uncle Sam guards his naval sta tions. Every precaution is taken to prevent any one from tampering with or steal ing it or throwing a match near K. Like a patient with fever, tbe tempera ture of this huge mountain Is taken every two hours. A mammoth steel rod with a tiny strip of thick glass, ♦hrough which tbe mercury runs, is shoved down into the coal mountain X> remain five, ten. fifteen minutes. If he temperature is above a certain de- Tee the work of cooling the coal VJ •egun Immediately. The danger is pontaneous combustion. A number of watchmen are employed, and steam derricks are used to move portions of the pile as may be necessary to keep the temperature at a point of safety. This mountain of coal is said to be the property of W. P. Tarns of West Virginia. It took the Virginian r&U way seven months to accumulate it. Admiration. "Have you told your father that 1 asked you to marry me?" as.'ted the young man. "Yes," replied the positive young woman. "And how was he affected?" "He smiled and exclaimed, 'Brave fcoyi' "—Washington Star. . - London's Old Crthedral. St Paul's cathedral of London has had a strange association with tire. The first edifice on the present site was erected in 610 by Ethelbert, king of Kent, but in 1087 this was destroyed by fire. Finally in 1666, when the great fire devastated most of London. St. Paul's was wrecked, this being its fifth fire. In 1675 the present church was. built by Charles 11. at a cost of more than $7,500,000. "Corpse Coins." *'Corpse coins" are treasured in toe north of England. They are the coin? that have lain over the eyes of their dead. By this means infection ha? been spread, but superstition causes the custom to continue. A poor collier or peasant would never think of doing anything important unless he had on his person coins that have been upon the eyes of his dead relatives.—West minster Gazette. jMiHXYd an EIGHT COMRADES OF THESE AGED ODD FELLOWS REPORTED MURDERED. Photo by American Press Association. Frederick Mors, an orderly In the German Odd Fellows' home at Yonkers, N. declared be assisted la kill ing off eight aged inmates to make room for others. DISTRIBUTING UNITED STATES' CHRIST MAS GIFTS IN FRANCE. ! Photo by American Press Association. Mine. Poincare. wife of president of France, and William G. Sharp, Amer ican ambassador, in the Hotel de Vilie, Paris, giving out presents sent from the United States for the children of France. A Liverpool teacher asked her class to write an essay on London. Later she was surprised to read the following iu one attempt: "The people of London are noted foi their stupidity." The young author was asked how he got that idea. "Please, miss." was the reply, "it says in the textbook. 'The population of London is very dense!' "—London An swers. MOST RECENT AND BEST PHOTOGRAPH OF JOHN Photo copyright, 1915, by Ameafls&a Association. The "pil king" as he leoked while UsHfytng before the federal industrial I relations commission. J (?:>• f- r j?r • -v.. ('• 4. • , . • L I :**?•'* c ♦ ' .r. a fh•>i•i •> in e ,{/• j , jatii sj .•* J JV v , t - j' I( v n . tr . .... , jr- His Definition. Animal Scent. A fox can scent a man half a mile away If the wind be blowing In the animal's direction. A mouse can smell cheese fifty feet away. A deer may be sound asleep, and yet he will catch tbe scent of a person passing 200 feet off. The rabbit depends mole upon bis ears than his nose. Doesn't Like Water. Mrs. Grogan (chatting with neighbor ►-1 had this waist dry cleaned las: week an' now It's as good as newt Little Johnny Grogan—Ma. kin the.i clean faces that way?— Fuck. LIBRARY EXPERIENCES. Queer Requests Made by Persons In Search of Information. Some notion of the queer request? made ut public libraries is afforded In an article dealing with the library of a western city. These instances are given: Recently a man came in and asktl for some of the arguments against woman's suffrage The proper articles were sought out. and the librarian suggested that he might care to look at those iu favor of woman's suffrage as well. "No matter." lie replied warily; "1 get those from my wife." The widespread lielief that a library ran furnish a liook on any subject, no matter how vague, is illustrated by this request: "I have been asked to write a com position on what I saw on my way to 1 school today Caw you give me any book on it?" Thus a boy in the eighth grade. And then there are the liigl school boys who. in a period of revolt from poetry, return the "Idylls of the King" and nsk if they can't get "this erslzy stuff in prose." Children about to participate in a debate cause some inconvenience. The following subjects are not easy to give references ou: "Width Is Necessaricr, Water or Fire?" "Which Is Mightier, the Pen or the Sword?" The impression which some persona have that a library can give informa tion on any topic Is not only odd. hut pleasing It may he set off against the opposite notion, equally exaggerated, that a library is of no practical use whatever. A* a sample of the first Idea consider tbe woman who called over the telephone the day before Thanksgiving anil asked now to pluck a turkey. The librarian hunted it up in a cookbook aud read it to her over the telephone too. And the one who asked fpr a brief sketch of the French revolution over the telephone. Those who work in the reference i room septn to eousider the reference librarian as sr bqrean qf supplies as as of Information. Pencils, paper, even spectacles, are asked for tem j porarily. "I left my glasses at home j today. Can you lend me yours?" As though, hp far as the librarian went, the glasses >vpre merely for ornamental purposes.— Nqw folk Snn. f! i ui. ji. .j otT i's b'o | I i .. . GERMANY MAKES WORKERS OF CRIPPLED SOLDIERS • iro ,q-.. n ' /a -. ■ - t< ! < ' . i With Characteristic Thoroughness It Is Finding Jobs For Wounded. :t . •c i '