Seminar aims to enrich relationships
By BETH HARMEN
Collegian Staff Writer
Far away from the long St. Pa
trick's Day line at the Phyrst, 111 11, 2
E. Beaver Ave., and the crowd at Rec
Hall this weekend, three couples
decided to enrich their relationships.
A relationship enhancement semi
nar, held from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Satur
day and yesterday in Henderson
Building East, aimed "to bring cou
ples closer by giving them tools to deal
with conflict," said Patricia Yoder,
the seminar leader and assistant to
the director of the Penn State Individ
ual and Family Consultation Center in
Beecher House on campus.
The seminar, sponsored by the cen
ter, was designed to help couples build
more supportive and satisfying
relationships and learn to deal with
Critics agree,
Schwarzkopf
has makings
of candidate
By JILL LAWRENCE
Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON, D.C. He's more
than chubby, he's less than tactful and
he doesn't have much hair to blow dry.
But experts agree: Gen. H. Norman
Schwarzkopf has the makings of an
excellent political candidate.
"He exudes a strength and a warmth
and comes across exceedingly well on
television. He'd be a media consultant's
dream," said Frank Greer, a Demo
cratic ad-maker.
The charismatic Desert Storm corn
mander said last week that he would not
"slam the door" on a political career
No one seems to know if he's a Republi
can or a Democrat or even if he's regis
tered at all, so both parties are free to
spin electoral fantasies.
Florida Republicans are talking up
Schwarzkopf as a possible 1992 chal
lenger to Democratic Sen. Bob Gra
ham.
Greer is thinking on a somewhat big
ger scale. "Wouldn't it be great if the
Democrats could recruit him to run
against George Bush?" he mused. "He
instills confidence. That's what Amer
icans want. They're looking for some
body to say, 'We can do it.' "
Hardened professionals offer nothing
but rave reviews of Schwarzkopf's
tough-but-compassionate persona a
hybrid of Fozzy Bear and Gen. George
Patton or a teddy bear and a grizzly
bear, in the words of Barbara Bush and
Life magazine, respectively.
If he doesn't look like Tom Brokaw,
they say, so much the better.
"He's not too pretty and that's an
advantage. He looks like everybody's
grandfather, father or brother," said
Democratic media consultant Bob
Squier, whose clients include one Bob
Graham of Florida.
Lyn Nofziger, former political direc
tor at the Reagan White House, said the
bulky Schwarzkopf might want to lose
a few pounds for a campaign but not
too many. "I'd rather he looked like a
linebacker than an inside tackle," said
Nofziger.
And by the way, he went on, forget the
Senate. "I wouldn't run him for a legis
lative body," Nofziger said. "He's a
commander. I'd run him for governor
or president. He'd go crazy in the Sen
ate. He's a take-charge guy."
Schwarzkopf's trademark candor
he talks openly, for instance, about fal
sifying enemy body counts during the
Vietnam War is rare in politics and
accounts for much of his appeal, polit
ical professionals say.
Coming from the wrong mouth, such
bluntness could lead to gaffes and abra
siveness. But Schwarzkopf has already
test-marketed his style on a national
audience and emerged a star.
The challenge facing candidate
Schwarzkopf and his advisers would be
to stretch his image beyond that of the
triumphant battlefield commander.
"The biggest mistake you could make
would be just to run him as Stormin'
Norman the military hero," said
Republican media consultant Larry
McCarthy. "I'd show him more as a
person who can get things done overall.
I'd try to broaden the resume so people
would feel comfortable that he has a
grasp of something besides waging
war."
Greei said he would try to depict "the
human side" of the man. "You need to
portray him as a family man, a com
passionate, concerned citizen who
wants to help improve the lives of aver
age families," he said. "If you did that,
he'd be unstoppable."
But maybe not.
Any campaign would mean farewell
to those familiar desert fatigues, hello
to telegenic blue suits and red ties. The
exotic, war-torn desert backdrop would
be a thing of the past, as would the emo
tional greetings of troops. Dynamic
briefings on brilliant military strategy
would give way to speeches on the fed
eral deficit. Could Schwarzkopf survive
the transition?
In a domestic rather than wartime
context, some strategists say Schwarz
kopf's opinionated style could seem
more grating than refreshing to pro
" What we've seen so far is arguably
the best general we've produced in
modern times speaking on the thing he
does best, which is generalship," said
Squier.
problems that arise from personal dif
ferences.
The program appeals less to couples
facing major crises than to those, like
Lee Ann and Bryan Stover from
Spring Mills, simply looking to make
things better, Yoder said.
Married for four years, the Stovers
feared they wouldn't be able to afford
the $2OO cost per couple. But, after see
ing a marriage counselor, "we wanted
our communication skills to be con
crete," Lee Ann Stover said.
Bryan, the personnel manager of
Mellon Produce Company, 300 Shiloh
Road, said, "The RE program is tea
ching us the importance of reflective
listening." Reflective listening is a
skill taught at the seminar to enforce
listening by repeating the partner's
idea.
Yoder, who has a master's degree
in human studies from Penn State and
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eight years of experience in the pro
gram, talked about relationship
dynamics the causes of problems or
source of conflicts in relationships.
Mary Wojnas of Warren, N.J., said
she and her husband are "going
through a passage in life where our
children are leaving. We've gained
better communication skills in our
relationship."
Conflicts sometimes occur because
of the preconceived ideas about roles
or behaviors expected by partners,
Yoder said. And she said conflicts
occur in any relationship.
"Disagreements do not mean that
love is not there," she said. "Try to
understand that managing conflict is
a process. It's tedious. If it's a hot sit
uation, you will see how important
details become."
After an explanation and demon
stration of a skill, such as expression
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and problem resolution, the couples
went to different corners of the room
and, sitting face to face with legs
touching, began to discuss issues per
tinent to their lives.
They addressed topics including
weekend trips, spending money, corn
municating effectively, dividing and
sharing household responsibilities,
coping with careers and expressing
affection and sexual needs.
The couples left with positive atti
tudes about what they learned.
Lee Ann said she learned better
ways to deal with anger.
"We have learned good ways of
working through our problems without
yelling and screaming," she said.
Bryan said that even though his
relationship with his wife was healthy
before the seminar "this seminar
gave us the extra tool we needed to
problem solve."
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