opinions editorial opinion EPA ban on EDB not good enough The Environmental Protection Agency plagued by scandals and the likes of Rita , Lavelle proved its real worth last week by banning the use of the cancer-causing pesti cide ethylene dibromide (EDB) as a grain fumigant. That means EDB can no longer be used to kill insects in stored grain. Traces of EDB have already been found in a store-load of food products such as cake mix; cereal and flour. In fact, EPA chief William Ruckelshaus estimates that 7 percent of corn-based and 1 percent of wheat-based products now on grocers' shelves might exceed the "acceptable" limits. EDB:s effects on humans are uncertain, but the chemical has been linked to cancer and reproductive disorders in laboratory animals. But New York Governor Mario Cuomo says the EPA's guidelines for EDB traces in some foods are five times as they should be. And if the federal government doesn't move to amend its standards within the next week, New York might order some food products off the shelves by mid-February. But Pennsylvania, unfortunately, is con tent with the tolerance levels of EDB. The state government has found "acceptable" the amount of EDB in 10 food products on grocers' shelves and in federal food supplies destined for, school lunch programs. Blood donors: No .Suppose they gave a blood drive and nobody came? Supplies of blood in the area covered by the Johnstown -Region of the American Red Cross are critically low. ' Hospitals in the region need about 400 units of blood each day. But recently, only 350 to 375 units have been collected daily. You do not have to be a math major to realize that this situation is not good. Misconceptions about Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome may scare some do nors away. However, Red Cross officials emphasize that AIDS cannot be contracted by donating blood. Economic conditions in Pennsylvania • have not helped. Many bloodmobiles are sponsored by private companies. But when factories are closed, they are not holding bloodmobiles. So donations from University students are even more necessary. Last week a bloodmobile was held at the HUB. But the turnout was poor and the goal of 675 units over two days was not reached. Only 463 usable units were collected. What is going on here? Health may be an excuse for not donating • in the wintertime. Some donors must be • • Board of Editors Managing Editor: William Scott; d; t i r y Colleglan Editorial Editor: Harry Weiss; Assistant Editorial Editor: Ron Yeany; News Editors: John Schlander, M. Lee Schneider; Sports Editor: Greg Loder; Assistant Sports Editors: John Severance, Chris Wightman, Matt Michael; Photo Editors: Paul Chiland, Thomas Swarr; Assistant Photo Editor: Bill Cramer; Arts Editor: Heidi Beeler; Susan M. Melle Assistant Arts Editor: Diane DiPiero; Campus Editor: Business Manager Christine Murray; Assistant Campus Editor: Lori Musser; The Daily Collegian's editorial opinion is determined by Town Editor: K.L. Kane; Assistant Town Editor: Michael Newnam; Features Editor: Jeanne Ann Curry; Assistant its Board of Opinion, with the editor holding final responsibility. Opinions expressed on the editorial Features Editor: Grace LoMonaco; Graphics Editor: Tony pages are not necessarily those of The Daily Collegian, Ciccarelli; Copy Editors: Dina Defabo, John Holt, Patricia Collegian Inc. or The Pennsylvania State University. Hungerford, Christine Kay, Marcia McGrath, Marcy Mer m Collegian Inc., publishers of :The Daily Collegian and el, Lori-Marie Vail, Rebecca Albert; Weekly Collegian related publications, is a separate-corporate institution Editor: Michele Jo Pupach; Weekly Collegian Assistant from Penn State. Editor: Laura Dunhoff. Thursday, Feb. 9, 1984 ©1984 Collegian Inc. Alecia Swasy Editor • • • li 111 • Divorce truly can be a new beginning, if you give it a chance ... Divorce. we paint horrible pictures of what life would room scenes. I began to think to myself, "Oh parents make the decision to split up, it is and after so much, I just wanted .the pain to It's a subject you hear more about all the be like only to conclude that it can't no, my family is dying." our duty to accept it, as hard as it may be. go away. By accepting their divorce I eased time. In fact, it's a subject that hits close to happen, there must be some way to straight- - Divorce isn't the death of a family, it's To do otherwise would not only be selfish, the pain. Then I realized that so much of the home for a good number of you. Divorce en this out. more like a transition period. A family will but would only serve to compound the situa- pain came from fighting a losing battle. It or the making of it hit my home about Many years ago, when one of my closest always endure if you let it. However, the tion. took a long time to think positively about it. I three years ago, culminating legally two friend's parents got divorced, I found my- hardest period to deal with is the timelt's often as hard a decision for them to probably could have shortened that time if I months ago. In that time . I learned a lot self feeling sorry for him and was thankful leading up to it. Learning to accept some- make as it is for us to accept, yet we must would have talked to someone about it, as about this seemingly dark subject. that I didn't have to go through what he did. thing your mind refuses to accept can be a respect them for it and not hold it against hard as it was, but that meant facing up to I didn't think I could handle it. Little did I very they e experience. ver fin d someone else to love movedifficult for me. I hopesomeone can use either one . of them. If two people can't live it,which was too scary.' This is one of the Ilfria know that it was right around the corner. It Once I accepted my parents inevitable with each other and don't have the love for reasons I felt compelled to write about it. started around the time I was graduating , divorce, I was able to see things much more each other they need to remain happy, then While the divorce I had to go through may from high school and heading to college. As clearly. I stopped worrying about whether - it's wrong for them to go on as if nothing was not have been the nastiest, it was plenty a freshman far away from home, I was wrong. Indeed, it's time for them to ony physically but not emotionally,— remov and concentrated instead on helping them and try again. If they don't, they're only experience to enlighten themselves, by ed from the situation. through it. At the same time I realized they cheating themselves. Sometimes a brief' gaining a broader understanding of this I knew my parents were having difficul- were still the same mother and father I separation is all two people need to realize • troublesome subject. i ' ties coping with each other but at the same always had and my relationship with them that they really need each other, but if that's The divorce had it's rewards. I can talk ~, i ;ii. 31 time I felt it would work out. After all, they remained as strong as ever. Suddenly I ~Eir . not the case, then there is nothing shameful • frankly with my family about things I never had been married for twenty years. When I could talk about it and actually wanted to about a divorce. With my parents, divorce, could before. I have no uneasiness about would talk to them on the phone I'd always , talk about it, whereas previously I tried to was the only answer. ' ' showing my love for them anymore. Di- I bring this up because it has been on my look for encouraging signs. "Hmm, they ignore it and hoped it would all go away. , Thinking back on the whole time period, I vorce truly can be a new beginning if you let mind lately. For some reason, holidays like don't sound like they're mad at each other." Once the decision was made that my have only one regret. That is, when my it. That fateful Christmas Eve of three years Christmas tend to bring it into the limelight. By the end of the conversation I'd convinced parents were definitely splitting up, and family was going through their most diffi- ago, when I was first told of my parents I remember the feirs I used to have about myself that everything was 0.K., only to they actually separated, a kind of peaceful cult times I was far away at college and decision to separate, is no longer a night these holidays, '.!Oh my God, which parent have one of my sisters get on the phone and serenity settled over my family like the ' am I going to spend Thanksgiving with?" I say, "It's really bad here. They don't get calm after a storm. The tight-lipped tension unable to experience it with them. This has mare. It's more like a sunrise. guess it never occurred to me that it is along. at all anymore." guilt . Suddenly the gut was relaxed. Immediately I realized that I given me both feelings of emptiness and possible to visit two people on the same day. becomes wrenched and the fears start flow- wouldn't want it any other way. Yes, I was as though I let them down or some- Gary Talbot is a junior majoring in civil Fears and ideas that we put into our thing. However, I know that there was heads ing freely. I started assuming the worst. actually GLAD that they were getting a nothing engineering and a columnist for The Daily are what makes divorce so hard to accept. Pictures appeared in my mind of heated divorce and the sooner they did, the sooner I could have done about it. Collegian. His column appears on alternate We can't picture our parents separated, so arguements ending up in dramatic court- everyone could get on with their lives. If our I still felt the pain they were experiencing . Thursdays. The state did, however, join last week the growing list of states that banned the use of EDB as a pesticide on fruit crops. But in reality, Pennsylvania had already stopped using EDB on crops when other pesticides proved more effective several years ago. Amid wild rumors that most of America's stored grain would have to be destroyed, the problem seems to be in finding alternatives to EDB. In fact, about six of 16 possible substitutes will most likely be more widely used now that EDB has been banned. But worse yet, these insecticides haven't even been tested as extensively as EDB. And chances are they may not be either. That's because the Reagan administra tion reduced the staff that performs such tests from 127 to 20 people. The EPA should rigorously test these alternatives, and the administration should give it the money it needs to do so. And until a suitably safe substitute is discovered, the EPA should reconsider its low, initial tolerance levels for EDB:, As Cuomo said, the EPA's guidelines are a "welcome governmental initiative," but they "are deficient in adequately protecting the public from the mutagenic, carcino genic and reproductive consequences" of EDB. And protecting the public's health is well worth the additional cost. time for apathy deferred beciuse of colds and medication. But with more than 30,000 students on cam pus, there should have been be at least 675 healthy people with the time to donate one pint of blood. But there are encouraging signs. A blood mobile held in East Halls last December , had a goal of 100 units. By the time it was over, 215 units were _collected. Tomorrow, a bloodmobile sponsored by West Halls wilt try to beat this figure. Again the goal is 100 units but 300 appointments have already been made, according to Myke Atwater, campus donor consultant. This is encouraging. Contests between residence areas increase blood donations. But the real winners are those who need blood products. Blood is used for more than just transfusions. One unit can be broken down into components that will help three or more patients. The patients that are helped may be neighbors 'or even family members. Roll up your sleeves, Penn State. There is no substitute for blood yet, in spite of medi cal advances. Blood it's gotta be the real thing. Op-ed postpon6ment Because of a lack of reader response, the op-ed page In attempting to present this public forum, the that was scheduled for today has been postponed until Collegian offers you, our readers, • a chance to be Thursday, Feb. 16. ' • - ' heard. Those taking advantage of this opportunity will The topic, the efforts of the University to remove help others to properly understand all sides of a very physical barriers for disabled and/or handicapped • important issue. students, faculty and staff, is one that merits a wide Those interested in commenting on the issue of and enthusiastic respose Letters and forums will be accepted from any Forums should range from three to five double-space student, faculty member or interested citizen desiring typed pages and letters should be no longer than one to comment on this crucial issue. Respondents need page (also double-space typed). not be disabled. The Daily Collegian encourages anyone who has something to say about everyday Letters and forums will be accepted at the Collegian problems encountered by the disabled to contribute. office (126 Carnegie Building) until noon, Wednesday, No issue can be given fair treatment or examined Feb. 15. constructively without the presentation of a wide We apologize for the delay, and hope that next week range of views from a broad cross-section of con- The Collegian is able to present an interesting and cerned readers. . thought-provoking op-ed page. reader opinion Semi-toleration Perhaps "ladies". . . "and men" are "TREATED help dictate his job. equally" at Mr. C's, as The Daily Collegian ad states, but In your pro-Reagan letter, you fail to say where your what of all the WOMEN? How are they treated? The usage municipal aid comes from now. If you know, why not tell of the label "lady," as opposed to woman, connotes a us all? In any respect, I feel obliged to disclose it for you. restrictive mode of behavior imposed upon women. According to Reaganomics (which is a copy of Nixon's lam afraid that Mr. C's is STILL not quite as progres- "New Federalism" ), your aid will no longer come from sive as it would have us believe, but instead just another your state government. Unfortunately, like their federal typical bar (i.e. men's club) where "ladies" are permitted counterpart, they don't want the responsibility of distrib and women are tolerated . . . sometimes. uting such large sums of money (too much paper work and higher taxes, you know). So I put the question to you. The aid is there, but how can you get to it if no one is willing to handle the burden of giving it out? Barbara J. Weaver, State College resident Jan. 31 Keeping abreast Adam J. Trott, senior-architecture/urban design Mr. Councilman, your letter in the Jan. 31 issue of this Feb. 2 EDB Gerthio The Daily Collegian Thursday, Feb. 9, 1984 barrier-free living may still submit their opinions paper showed me how oftentimes a local government official can keep from staying abreast of the issues that opinions .1.011.11.11 W . . • • 1 • 1 • . • Examining the image of Black Americans through the eyes .of Hollywood Editor's note: This is the first in a series of was perfected by an actor named Lincoln work in "Hallelujah" made her Hollywood's films as Richard Widmark's lover in "Death mulatto. "Carmen Jones': was the most forums relating to the observance of Black Theodore Monroe Andrew Perry univer- first black star. After signing a five-year Of A Gunfighter." The tragic mulatto motif lavish and most nd publicized all- a bla number ck film h ofp History Month. sally known as Stepin Fetchit. • contract with MGM, she found that there found new life. to that point a featured By LAWRENCE YOUNG Next were the "Bucks," the bestial, brutal were few roles for black leading ladies. In her youth, with her beauty and talent, actors and actresses who would go on to Director, Paul Robeson Cultural Center Facing a career headed nowhere, McKinney great fame including Diahann Carroll, Olga black superstud, itching for virginal white Ethel Waters could have filled the role of the flesh. Like the Tom, this character was moved to Europe where she became a James, Brock Peters, Pearl Bailey and tragic mulatto. Her destiny, however, was Throughout America, the month of Feb- popular cabaret performer and was billed in Harry Belafonte.. introduced by a white actor in blackface in to create a hybrid of the Mammy in the form ruary is observed as Black History Month. Paris, London, Budapest and , Dublin a the 1915 film "The Birth of a Nation." as of "the strong, domineering black woman ." The film placed Dorothy Dandridge in the In examining our understanding of Black "The Black Garbo." Her last film role was a spotlight, and she became the first black Anierica, it may prove instructive to exam- The portrayals of women fall into two minor part in the ultimate tragic mulatto After a successful career in vaudeville, person - to be on the cover of "Life" mag ine the "image" of Black Americans, par- basic categories —"Mammies," big-busted film "Pinky" in 1949. Waters became, by 1939, the highest paid azure as well as the first black actress to titularly the image created by the myth but sexless women, who are generally there performer on Broadway. receive a nomination for Best Actress. Like makers in Hollywood. , .to care for whites. The Mammy had its McKinney was replaced in the '4os by After 1943's "Cabin In The Sky," she Nina Mae McKinney before her, stardom The historic portrayal of black people in prototype in Hattie McDaniel's portrayal of Lena Horne, a woman ofunquestioned beau- • , didn t work again until 1949 when she ap- brought few roles for Dandridge, but she did fms has suffered from the racist ideology a character named (appropriately enough) ty, even now, thoughwell into her 60's. peared in "Pinky" as the strong black receive a great deal of publicity, particular thatMammy in the screen classic "Gone With Home was one of Hollywood's brightest has pervaded the society at large. grandmother of. the tragic mulatto charac- ly linking her to a series of white lovers that The Wind." McDaniel was the first black stars of the decade. She appeared in many ter. Her portrayal won her an Oscar nomi- Author Donald Bogle has classified thoseincluded Tyrone Power, Peter Lawford and person to receive an Oscar for her work films as a character who sang'a song then portrayals into five basic categories. nation for best supporting actress. By this Otto Preminger. Her next three films were (1939). disappeared. In many Southern theaters, time, her good looks had succumbed to all built around the theme of the tragic the scenes with Miss Horne were neatly The last of the categories is the tragic obesity, and she could carry for the image of . ‘ . edited out. She had her first starring roles in mulatto in an interracial love affair. Her mulatto. This character's tragedy is that the big strong black woman who was so full 1943 in the all black films "Cabin In The last important role was that of Bess in the of humanity. Water's greatest accomplish forum she was born only half white. This charac- Sky" and "Stormy Weather." film "Porgy and Bess" in 1959. Following a terization has been one of Hollywood's most ment was the great dignity she brought to series of disasters both personal and profes persistent stereotypes and nearly. every As America's first black pin-up girl, she this stereotyped role. Unfortunately, her sional, Dandridge was found dead in 1965 at black actress who has attained stardom has toured with USO and was required to play to exploitation by the Hollywood system made age 41, from an overdose of anti-depres- First are the "Toms," those who serve had to play this role once. The tragic mulat- segregated audiences, first to white sol- her life a tragedy. sants. their masters very well and are based on the to motif is embodied in an actress who is diers, then to black soldiers. She walked off , The most successful black leading lady Miss Dandridge was honored by having named character in "Uncle Tom's Cabin," quite beautiful, is an obvious sex object, and the stage in Fort Riley, Kan., when she ever was Dorothy Dandridge. Her acting her star added to the Hollywood Walk of which appeared immovie form in 1903. Tom, whose white half is pictured as "spiritual," observed that at the black show all the best ability was unquestioned, and her talent for Fame in January of this year. a black, was played by a white actor in while the black half is shown as "animalis- seats had been given to German prisoners of creating realistic emotion was recognized The Paul Robeson Cultural Center will be blackface. . tie." , war. Miss Horne spent the 'sos as an outcast by the world. Add to that the sheer beauty of featuring films starring some of the ac- Next was the "Coon." This was the The first of the Black actresses to play the from films and television, mostly due to her the woman, and you have a star of the first tresses mentioned above throughout the mindless 'and child-like portrayal of blacks tragic mulatto was Nina Mae McKinney. In marriage to a . white musician and her magnitude. Like many others, she was first month of February. All films are on Thurs as harmless and very stupid. This pOrtrayal 1929, she played the role of Chick in the film friendship with • Paul Robeson, who was a stage entertainer before turning to films. days at 7 p.m., and are free. "Stormy of a watermelon eating, chicken stealing, "Hallelujah." McKinney set the tradition of painted as a communist by the McCar- Her work in the 1954 film "Carmen Jones" Weather will be shown on Feb. 9, "Carmen - crazy, unreliable, crap shooting subhuman the light skinned black leading lady. Her thyites. In 1969, Lena Horne returned to established , her as the 'sos definitive tragic Jones" on Feb. 16, and "Pinky" on Feb. 23. Fairgame "church" beliefs is not a threat to the church it's • a threat to yourself, meaning all of us. The church only has The Faculty Senate is, and should be, fair game at Penn your welfare in mind. Whether you choose to accept its State. By no means is the senate perfect. It's unwieldy, guidelines is your prepogative. weak and inefficient probably considered ineffective, Thirdly, you are right; the ERA, feminism, birth control too and homosexuality do conflict with church guidelines. But, journalism Professor R. Thomas Berner's letter to They also collide head on with your own true nature, The Daily Collegian of Feb. 6 requires some response in whether you know it now or not. I have already established that he blames the "last true fortress of conservatism" for that to know'God is to understand, although not complete the defeat of computer literacy. Berner's professional ly, your own true nature. prose continues: "Once again the conservatives held the Finally, if you violate the laws of State College, you may day and turned back the advancing hordes." frequently find yourself in jail. Similiarly, if you contin- Evidently, a definition of conservative is in order. Ask • ually break the Moral Law which God has imparted upon those who spoke for/against computer literacy as to their us, the penalty may be far worse. Knowing the law helps. personal conservative/liberal leanings. I'm betting at Knowing God helps even more. Without him we are ill least as many self-styled liberals spoke against computer equipped for life in State College or anywhere else .. . literacy. Some would even be shocked to be considered So go ahead, Mr. Aberson, exercise your free will. conservative. That's what I'm doing. But please recognize: there is The computer literacy goings-on are in the senate nothing wrong with' the church .. . There is nothing wrong record available for anyone to review. Debate combatants with God. Man is the source of the controversy. Something can easily be contacted. Might make a useful class project is wrong with man. Recognize also that the church does for journalism students. not alienate you, •or anyone, from Gcid only you, yourself, can do that. • Alvi 0. Voigt Professor Agriculture Economics Extension Feb. 8 Extuses Leadership • In reply to Sim David Aberson's letter (reader opinion, We are writing this letter in response to the letter by Feb. 8), I would only like to suggest that Mr. Aberson Michael Murphy (reader opinion,. Feb. 8). examine the issues a bit more thoroughly. Mr. Murphy, you wrote about the lack of leadership and The church does not cause the controversies over the responsibility of Ms. Pfeiffer. Mr. Murphy, Ms. Pfeiffer Equal Rights Ameridment and abortion, it merely offers could have easily had an abortion and that would have solutions. Mr. Aberson, if, by chance, you have been been the end of it, but she decided to assume the large swayed in your opinion of the church by some fanatic atop responsibility of having the child and raising it as a single the Williard Building steps, lam deeply sorry. Perhaps, it parent while finishing her education. would do you well to research what God,' via the church, She put everything on the line, her reputation, her social does in fact impart upon society. life, and her future plans to have the child; that decision, For those of you who have read Mr. Aberson's letter, I Mr. Murphy, shows me a person who can handle both would like to add these corrections. responsibility and leadership. Mr. Murphy, we are not First of all, the church in recent years has not "dele- condoning what Ms. Pfeiffer had done beforehand as right gated" the roles that each sex should play God has. The, nor are we making her into a martyr, we are merely Supreme Being is something you and I cannot even begin asking what National Honor Society defines as "lead to conceive of. And yet, he knows of us. He does in fact love ership"? us for what we are and what he wants us to become. Mr. Murphy, what leadership qualities do you show? Mr. Aberson, please do not confuse the matter by saying Why aren't you USG president? Why isn't there a question that God wants men to hold "masculine-oriented" jobs, concerning NHS membership on the Penn State Under and women to hold feminine ones. You, yourself, do not graduate Admissions Application? understand what he wants. You and I can only pray that it Yes, Mr. Murphy, good qualities should be stressed in will be revealed to us. (When you do not seek to know God, high school, but tell us where in the NHS code does it say however, you do not fully understand yourself. And by the that morality is a requirement. self, •I do not mean your pet vice or jealousy, I mean what Walter J. Szmanski, sophomore-chemical engineerng you were placed here for to begin with.) Jeffrey D. Cotterman, sophomore-science Secondly, Mr. Aberson, anything that runs counter to • Feb. 8 Castration: cruel and inhuman Two months ago, three South including new drug therapies, hard-core criminals rather than Carolina men were convicted of would be much more effective in rehabilitated convicts. rape and given a choice of sen- curtailing repeat offenders. Don't get me wrong, I don't favor tences: 30 years in prison or castra- Castration may seem like a justi- pampering rapists in a country club tion. fiable punishment to some, but it is atmosphere, but Ido feel that con- I'll be the first one to admit that not always entirely successful. Af- finement in conjunction with thera rape is a vicious crime and the ter castration, a man may still be py can do far more to stop potential offender should be punished, but capable of having intercourse, and repeat offenders than castration. castration is 'not a logical solution. testosterone is readily in I realize that I could never expe pills or injections to restore poten- rience the humiliation and fear that cy. Also, many doctors refuse to is felt by a rape victim, but being a 6; 413 perform such surgery for fear of male, I can identify with a man who legal and ethical reprisals. is about to be castrated. The There has been a new break- thought of physically mutilating a 13 t a h n r d o ugh . e i n n m rehabilitating u r n a I p i k i s e t s l y , a l• cthreimlinaql Inquisition back sNcencs deathfrom source contraceptives. Depo camp. Not only is castration inhu- Proyera, the first injectable birth man, it clearly violates the Consti control drug for females, has been tution. • tested on many rapists in an effort . Our prison system today is be to lower their sexual drive. The I'm sure many women will dis- drug lowers the level of testoste- coming rapidly overcrowded. The courts sentence criminals and ship agree, but I believe that castration rone in the body, and has been ac is cruel and unusual punishment. proven effective in curbing rao'sts them out to prisons that can't / ' Norval Morris, professor of law at • commodate them. Isn't it about In tests at Johns-Hopkins Univer- time we tried to rehabilitate crimi- Chicago University, said castration sity, 150 convicted rapists volun "is in the same spirit as lopping off nals instead of just locking them arms of shoplifters or the tongues teered to undergo treatment with up? The rising crime rate in Ameri- Depo-Provera. Only 15 percent of ca reflects the fact that our penal of libelists." Should we revert to a system of those treated have been repeat system is ineffective at best, but if justice that includes drawing and offenders, compared to 85 percent we begin to adopt programs like traditionally incarcerated. quartering and burning at the of thoseDepo-Provera treatment, we could stake? These methods serve only to Traditional imprisonment of rap- go a long way in improving that satisfy a vengeful public and do ists often does more harm than system. little to solve , the problem at hand good because a prison environment preventing rapists from repeat- tends to escalate existing hostilities Chris Reilly is a senior majoring ing their crime. I feel that a system and does little to improve mental in journalism and a columnist for of incarceration and rehabilitation, health. Prisons tend to turn out The Daily Collegian Scott Pyle, junior-journalism Feb. 8 . ~.:•"\o"s. • . .„ .. • ~,,,,, ~ ... ~ ~ , - . • ~,, , ~, .. .... .. ''''''''' ' • ' CREGONVO la2A 6Y N Human nature ridiculous question syndrome. For example, someone, , usually the person who was walking two steps behind you, Satire is a style of writing that seems to have gone out of - sees you have just fallen and you're bleeding in a style circulation, so in this view I hope you will agree that there common to•chainsaw movies, you look like a pretzel, and are three types of people during the winter; those who they say, "Are you hurt"? "No, I always wanted to see if I walk, slide or fall on the ice. We all fall into one category could wrap both my legs behind my ears and test my blood or another but we never think to write about it. type at the same time." It's 7:40, you're heading to class and you get to your The ridiculous question syndrome hits all of us including destination without becoming part of the pavement. To people in high places. a'he student government is taking a those people who arrive to class without a hair out of survey to find out if we liked the semester system. Why? If place, I consider you to be Class I. Class I people haven't a every Penn Stater answered no and we hated it, Penn clue to the definition of the word "embarrassment." State will obviously switch to a new system. Right? The second class of people are those who walk, slip I personally think semesters are too long. I felt like awkwardly on the ice for a moment but like weebles, Pavlov's dog salivating a week before Thanksgiving. The wobble but they don't fall down. These people, after break gave us only enough time to bring back every regaining their composure, look around to see if anyone relative's leftover turkey. "C'mon take some back, your saw, take a deep breath, and sigh to themselves, "I'm roommates will eat it," demanded my second aunt, three cool, I'm cool." Class H people are extremely useful to cousins removed. I replied, "I already have enough to feed society; they are walking detour signs. every squirrel and chipmunk on campus." By the end of The third class of people, or better yet, the one closest to November I saw squirrels standing by Willard armed with my heart, are people who not only slip awkwardly, but turkey, chirping, "Here human, let me force feed you throw all their books 50 feet in the air and in a reverse pike some of this stuff." position land on their head. They now have two options: Human nature is a funny thing. If you take a minute to one, to pretend they're seriously hurt to ease the pain of think about it, you will probably smile instead of criticiz embarrassment, or two, stand up, pick up their recently ing the world that surrounds you. bought $3OO books which cost the bookstore $35, limp to the- nearest bathroom and 'chew on their Walkman. If you're in Class 111 don't feel bad. You are still better Corey 0. Balzer, senior-hotel, restaurant, institutional off than the person who comes to your aid. It doesn't management matter who comes to help, they fall symptom to the Feb. 7 • Lost in space: Eavesdropping on NASA Mission Control Everyone has those days when nothing seems to go we seem to have misplaced it." right. The other day I dialed NASA's 900 number to "You mean you've lost it?" listen to the space shuttle astronaut's conversations "Oh, not at all. We know where it is. It just isn't with ground control. But somehow the wires got cross- where it's supposed to be." ed and I found myself listening to the following conver- "Where did you put it? You were supposed to leave it sation: 22,300 miles above the equator." "Not really. NASA's job was to deliver it to low earth orbit. And we did that; our crew did a great job." "Low earth orbit? But it won't do us any good there. You told us you would put it in geosynchronous orbit." "No, that's not our responsibility. According to the delivery agreement, Hughes and McDonnell -Douglas -. /V---/ are responsible for sending it up the rest of the way. Unfortunately they experienced a slight malfunction in • the Payload Assist Module. Your satellite didn't quite make it up to its parking space." "Well, can't you bring it back? We've heard so much about how your wonderful space shuttle will be able to "Hello. Indonesian Astro Developments? This is retrieve defective satellites." NASA Orbital Deliveiy Company. We've got a little "Sorry, no can do. We expected your satellite to be problem." . 22,300 miles out before it broke down. The shuttle can't "What sort of problem, NASA?" fly that high, so we didn't bother to provide the satellite "Well, you know that satellite we were going to with retrieval hardware." deliver to orbit for you?" "What are you going to do now?" "Ah yes. That wonderful satellite. Seventy-five mil -1 "Not much we can do, old chap. But look at the bright ion dollars is a big investment for our poor country, but we're sure it will be worth it." side. A $75 million chunk of useless electronics in orbit "Er, yes. Did you happen to have the satellite makes for a pretty classy international status symbol." insured?" "Why? Has there been an accident?" Michael J. Vend is a senior majoring in journalism and "Not exactly.. The satellite is working perfectly. But English and a senior reporter for The Daily Collegian. The Daily Collegian Thursday, Feb. 9,.1984-7