24—The Daily Collegian Friday, May 15, 1981
IN EDITION
Eggnapping
is no yolk
Sometimes people can carry the
motherly image just a bit too far.
Linda Sartorious (12th-French and
English) was given a Health Educa
tion 46 project to baby sit an egg to
demonstrate maternal instincts in
females.
Sartorious took her newfound son,
Eggbert, home and before she could
have him 48 hours, two kidnappers,
complete with masks and gloves,
came into Sartorious' room, tied her
up in the closet, and kidnapped poor
Eggbert.
"The kidnappers left a ransom note
on my door," Sartorious said.
"asking for $lO,OOO in unmarked pen
nies."
8-ball boy:,
Even though the men's basketball
season has been over for a while, that
doesn't mean that coach Dick Harter
and crew aren't on the trail of the big
prospects who can handle the pres
sures of playing ball at Penn State.
According to the Associated Press,
Jay Fortner may just be in that class.
Nature's usual even-handedness
somehow bypassed Fortner, but that
didn't stop him from going out for Pee
Wee basketball.
poor
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To prove their point, the kidnap
pers sent Sartorious a cooked egg
from the dining hall and said that
would be her son if the ransom was
not paid.
"The hardest part is the emotional
drain, knowing that I'm an unfit
mother (for Eggy)" the distraught
Sartorious sobbed on the phone.
'a Harter warming story'
You see, Fortner has about the
most adverse conditions someone his
age can encounter. He is the only boy
on the team.
"I have no other choice," the
sandy-haired 11-year-old said.
There are simply a lot more girls
than boys in Jay's school. In grades
four, five and six, Jay is the only boy.
That means he's outnumbered 10 to
one.
Of course, Fortner's coach had
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All this time, Sartorious was sup
posed to be taking care of little Egg
bert for a grade in her class: After
showing her professor the notes and
explaining the situation, Sartorious
reportedly has a chance to get an "A"
for the project.
If that isn't egg in the kidnapper's
faces, I don't know what is.
nothing but praise for his gutsy ap
proach to the game.
"There's one thing you can say
about Jay," said Curt Rostad, who
coaches boys' and girls' high school
basketball. "He's the best boy on the
team."
Fourth-grader Bobbi Fortner,
Jay's cousin and the team's center,
says simply: "We accept him."
Now if the Lions could only get him
to sign a letter of intent . . .
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Quote of the Week
"I asked the Lord if I should give
away my watch, and He said, "No, I
went through too much trouble to get
it for you."
Jed Smock preaching outside Wil
lard Building on Tuesday
TLO infiltrates
PSU hierarchy
Many people complain that it is
impossible to survive here at Penn
State. Well, students at Tamarack
House decided it was high time to
stop complaining and start acting.
Last week, •the house formally an
nounced the existence of the Tama
rack Liberation Organization, or TLO
for short.
According to a press release, the
TLO was established in 1977 by a
group of Tamarackians who decided
they needed a way to "protect them-
Selves from the encroachment of the
administration."
After long struggles with the Uni
versity, the group realized it was
easier to control the administration
than to fight it.
Native Tamarackians were then
used to install a puppet government.
Soon Tamarackians were elected, to
the offices of president of USG and
Academic Assembly, West Halls sen
ator, president of West Halls Council.
r ME ME MI MIN MI MI NM OM MO OM MEI Oa NM Ell ME OM MIMI MO EMI WO MII OM NEI Ell MIN
Penn.
State
B roadcasting VIDEO 'Bl
Association's
An anthology of television productions from the Department
of Speech Communications featuring the work of: Dave
Anderson, Dave Barker, Paula Beal, Debbie Bogen, Elaine
Brensinger, Barry Carney, Regina Dorsey, Judy Dresher,
Dave Garman, Rob Grossman, Dan Huff, Barbara Keybum,
Kim, Marschhauser, Dan Martens, Rick Miller, Rich Mitchell,
Ken Nurse, J. B. Peterson, John Rosky and Joyce Smith.
Monday, May 18
3rd and sth periods
The best news under the sun.
Great news for every
student who plans on
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Now you can
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You'll read about
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"We feel society would prosper
under TLO control," Dave Hake
(12th-history) said. "The student gov
ernment thinks it runs the Universi
ty."
The press release also goes on to
say that "Nothing happens at Penn
State without (our) approval."
And you thought we had only had to
worry about the CIA.
Grenade explodes
student creamed
Violence at Penn State has gone too
far.
The latest victim of a surge of
violence Randy Rohrer, (6th-com
putor science) was viciously attacked
by a "doorbomb" while trying to
enter his room last week.
"I opened the door and was sho
wered by shaving cream," Rohrer
said.
It seems that a band of terrorists
has rigged a shaving cream grenade
set to go off when Rohrer entered the
room.
But the violence did not stop there.
"When I reached into my lower
drawer to get some paper towels to
wipe myself_ off, another can started
spraying at me." Rohrer continued.
No organization has claimed re
sponsibility for the bombing, but
sources close to Rohrer say the ter
rorists may be known by the victim.
1 -
weet,,ey Col leg lan
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A hearty Happy
Valley goodbye
This time of year, thereis a certain
group of people that show where the
term Happy Valley came about. They
are .the seniors.
Among the happiest of that group
are the seniors who can finally say
goodbye to all the joyous times they
have had leaving the Collegian office
at 3 a.m. - only to get up for first
period.
From the editorial side, the Colle ,
gian is losing reporters Don Kushto,
Erin Mahoney, Joe Grace, Sue Kline
dienst and Vicki Fong; weatherman
Paul Dorian, sportswriters Rich
Scarcella, Bob Grove and former
sports editor Denise Bachman; pho
tographers Bill Kroen and Carol
Zepp; and former editors Doug Bell
(managing), Betsy Overly (photo),
Della Hoke (graphics) and Jan Cor
win (pizza); and copy editors Paddy
Patton; Lisa Moreno and Diane Kuk
lar.
From the bilsiness department, we
are saying goodbye to Mary Basilone,
Lee Johnson, and Marc A.
Brownstein the person who de
signed all the Weekly Collegian ad
vertisements.
Lastly, We would like to say thank
you and goodbye to our In Edition
predecessor, Andy. Linker.
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