Editorial opinion
Never judge a handbook by its cover.
In comparison, the covers of this year's
handbook and last year's appear to be
alike. But any further similarity stops
there.
The current handbook sadly lacks the
important information found in last
year's edition, except for the policies and
rules by which the University thinks
students should govern their lives.
The book contains no lists of student
organizations and services, no important
phone numbers and no lyrics of the alma
mater. Just 52 pages of policies and rules.
A student handbook should be the
yellow pages of a university. Students
should be able to find out facts, phone
numbers and general information about
the University by letting their fingers do
the walking.
If students attempt to walk through the
present handbook, they will end up more
confused than informed. ,
At least those who still have a copy of
last year's handbook can refer to it for
help. But freshmen and transfer students
have no, other recourse but to fumble and
search for information the inadequate
handbook does not provide.
The handbook is one of the major
resource guides the University publishes.
A university this large and complex
needs a comprehensive issue published
each year.
Dictionary gives real meaning to life at Penn State
The following is a glossary of University terms designed
especially for freshmen. Freshmen should know as much as
possible about this great University and the characteristics of
the community. In effect, they should be given proper
definitions, not administrative and Chamber of Commerce
propaganda.
BEAVER STADIUM: prop. n; This is the world's largest
beaver. It has given birth to such famous structures as Beaver
Hall, the Mary "Beaver" White Building, Beaver Cleaver,
Beaver Hill and, of course, Beaver Terrace. Plans to have it
domed were scrapped when it was discovered Paterno could
control the weather himself. •
CHEM prop.n/tears; A foreign language course taught by
an instructor who is guaranteed not to speak English (See drop
slip).
DINING HALL: n./ (have a rat for dinner); Acquired by the
University when the Nazis held a clearance sale. Despite the
bad food the dining halls do have redeeming social value. On
one side you can find the sorority types with salad dressing
bottles.
Hibernating in a corner you can find many of our minority
students, and then we have the unshaven, overweight, unruly
.guys from Pittsburgh who sit by the door wearing Steeler T
shirts that are two sizes too small and making rude comments
at the girls as they come in. Go Eagles!
DROP SLIP: n./sing; This is something that you have
probably vowed never to use. HA! You'll be trundling up to
Additional services
In the Sept. 5 issue of The Daily Collegian, the
article, "Religious Services Offered for
Students" was not completely finished.
The reporter forgot the Christian Science
Organization at
. the Pennsylvania State
University. Services are conducted at the
Eisenhower Chapel every Thursday evening at 6.
All are welcome.
Mark Weidhaas, president of the Christian
Science Organization
Sept. 8
Sexist reprint
Last Friday's article on the Race Relation's
Board was quite accurate in its portrayal of the
board as a consciousness-raising group aimed at
heightening student awareness. Two points,
however need to be clarified.
First, the Race Relations Board is not part of
the Office of Student Affairs, but rather it is an
autonomous part of the Undergraduate Student
Government. The board did, however originate
out of the Office of Student Affairs and continues
to maintain a close working relationship with it.
Second, the article referred to myself as
chairman of the board. Though it may not be
obvious from my name, I am a woman and
New student handbook contains policy but omits important services
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Yellow pages
The Office of Student Affairs should
recognize this need and satisfy it. Vice
President for Student Affairs Raymond
0. Murphy said the reason for a sim
plified version is purely economic.
Murphy said it would have cost $57,000
to produce a comprehensive edition this
year as opposed to last year's cost of
$30,000. Murphy said the current copy,
without any of the frills, cost $23,000.
Alternate pamphlets, . booklets and
Shields with your adviser's signature before you can say "I'm
flagging this course." (See Shields)
DRUNK: past part. & former past tense of drink; A sport
legally reserved for people over the age of 21. Ha, ha, ha,. . . .
FINANCIAL AID: n./ha!; A large paper manufacturing
congloinerate which works on a recycling basis. They give you
paper, you give them paper back and they give you more
paper. We guess you could call them a 'paperback' company.
Yuk, yuk.
T 0.0 4•
FOOTBALL TICKETS: n./sss; These grant admission to the
Festival of Pa terno and though you can no longer scalp them
when you need extra money, you can however use them as
souvenir doilies. For a complete kit on how to make your doily
send cash, check or money order to us at The Daily Collegian.
FORUM BUILDING: prop.n./zzz ; Why buy Sominex when
there is the Forum? This building is located next to
Eisenhower Chapel. It is the only building on campus where
you can attend a lecture on sexuality in the morning and attend
mass in the evening.
FRATERNITY: n./ A select species of young man. The
species seems to be flourishing due to a steady diet of the 'new'
fraternity scene. Actually, there is nothing new about it.
"Wine, women and song" are still with us. Now we call them
"Drugs, sex and Rock 'n' Roll."
FRESHMAN "10": noun/disaster; See "your toes" (if you
cannot, you have it).
LEASE: v.t.;A contract that comes in two flavors: nine and
twelve month. At today's rates, they both taste awful. They
force you to live with someone you really do not like (See
sublet).
LINE: n.; Official mascot of the University. Loyal students
will sometimes form massive homages to this wondrous entity
Letters to the Editor
prefer the title of chairperson, which I claerly
indicated to the interviewing reporter.
When I asked a member of The Daily Collegian
staff about the misprint, I was informed that
though the reporter may have used chairperson
in the original copy, it is traditional for the final
copy to be edited to read chairman.
It is traditional! I do not mean to be nitpicky,
nor do I mean to blame any one person in par
ticular, but what I am attacking is a custom.
It is in the name of custom and tradition that
sexism and racism become institutionalized, and
are fostered and perpetuated. Though I realize
that being referred to as a chairman rather than
a chairperson is a relatively minor issue, the
underlying reason behind it is a major issue.
Lucia Roberto, Chairperson of the USG Race
Relations Board
Sept. 9
Living together
Why is Penn State so far behind other modern
universities in giving students the option of co-ed
living?
Could co-ed living improve dorm life?
Proponants argue that it could increase security
and cut down on vandalism.
Opponents cite lack of privacy and sexual
FTOUR
STABS. Hese
promiscuity as some negative aspects.
What are the obstacles facing the future of co
edhousing at the University? Is a change of
attitude all that is needed?
If given the choice, would most students
tabloids have been 'and are being
published to fill in the gaps. But it seems
wasteful to print supplements when one
complete manual will do.
What good is saving $7,000 oh an
inadequate handbook when money must
then be spent to compensate for the
inadequacies?
' When next year's handbook is printed,
it should truly be a reference book rather
than a book of student ordinances.
at functions ranging from 'concert ticket sales to dorm contract
renewals. Penn State, home of the Nittany Line. Rah, rah.
LOOSE GUYS: verb/form n./stud? ; What your older brother
claimed to be when he was in school. While most guys seem to
look upon it as a show of prowess, we feel that everyone has the
right to acquire as many strains of social disease as possible.
LOOSE WOMEN: verb/form, n./slut; What your older brother
told you would habitate the University community. Many guys
say there are not enough of these at the University. We say just
open your eyes. Unfortunately, no matter how many there are,
there are never enough.
NIGHT RECEPTIONIST: noun/verb form; joke; Although
these are a common sight to dorm residents; non-residents
seldom get a glimpse of them when walking through propped
open doors.
OSWALD, JOHN W.: prop n./ears; This is the president of the
University. He is a nice man. We like him . . . a lot. We hope he
likes us. We are putting his name in the paper without
misquoting him. Maybe it will show favorably upon our
grades. Just like him, we remember Berkeley.
PATERNO, JOSEPH V.: prop.n./deity; Who needs the second
coming when we have Joe Paterno?
PATTEE LIBRARY: prop. n./lost; This is the University
library. It is a federally funded project by the University
psychology department; where as soon as you walk into the
building a mouse is simultaneously released into a similar
maze and time comparisons are made. Results are presently
inconclusive.
PH. ED. 005: prop.n./deleted expletive.; This kiddies, is
something that today's seniors could not get when they were
freshmen, and they cannot get it now. We highly reccommend
that you take them while you can.
SERA-TEC: prop.n./sing; It is not a part-time job or a disco
palace. Don't let any of the ads fool you, these people really
want your blood (plasma).
SEX: n.; Does not apply to freshmen. Sophomore standing is a
prerequisite. Harder to get than Ph. Ed. 005.
SHIELDS: prop.n./sing ; A large building located very, very
far away lesigned originally as a roller rink, but now used for
processing students. Within its walls, all people are known by
number, and cash is not accepted without proper iden
tification. The personnel mysteriously disappear daily bet
ween noon and 1.
SLUM: n.; Basically, the University keeps its own slums.
They call them Nittany. There are those people who still live in
trailer homes. You can meet them every night down on the
wall (see The Wall) holding puppies.
SORORITY: n. pl.; A select species of young women. We
refuse to touch this one. Sorry Cindy.
STICKIES: n.pl„ ; The best stickies used to be sold at the Penn
State Diner. Although ordinarily inedible, when grilled they
Illustration
choose co-ed housing? For what reasons?
Even though co-ed housing may not be right
for everyone, should Penn State students be
given this option?
On Tuesday, Sept. 16, The Daily Collegian op-
Shoplifting
costs hurt everyone
Editor's note: Due to the nature of thiS
column, the identity of the author has
been witheld upon request.
Shoplifting occurs everyday. It may
not be considered a serious offense to
many people, but this is a drastically
erroneous belief. For the sake of those
who shoplift, or those who have even
considered committing the act, I would
like to relate how terribly wrong it is.
Most important, it is morally wrong. It
is stealing. Would you like it it - people
thoughtlessly helped themselves to
things that belonged to ( you?
Taking ' merchandise from stores
should be viewed no differently. Con
sider the effect on the managers who
must account for the stolen mer
chandise. When you shoplift you are
unrighteously causing these people to
feel anxiety and frustration, and could
be costing them their job security.
Collegian forum
Consider the effect on the innocent
people who pay for their merchandise.
Prices have - to rise if shoplifting occurs.
You're actually stealing from them by
forcing them to pay higher prices.
Shoplifting should not be taken lightly.
As well as stealing from a business, you
are stealing from a multitude of in
dividuals. I strongly persuade you to
have concern and compassion for your
fellow human beings.
Perhaps the moral aspects are not
strong enough deterrents. If these
considerations are too abstract or
detached for you to internalize, consider
the effect on yourself.
Consider the consequences of being
became quite tasty. Especially when you are under the, in
fluence at 5 a.m. (see drunk)
SUBLET: v.t. & i; There are 8,922 people with leases and 8,921
people who want them. This produces a massive game kmoty: . /n
as 'musical apartments.' The only ways to avoid the game are
to: move into the dorm (see dining hall) ; join a social club (See
fraternity); or buy a house trailer (see slum). I
TACO DOGS: n./yuk; Only the truly sophisticated palate can
appreciate this native delicacy. Originally designed •as
radioactive biological interment containers (rabi) they were
found to be too expensive although they are still used to save
various bio-hazardous materials.
TAILGATE: v.t./n.; A function of the Festival of Paterrio.
Returning alumni pilgrimage to the Stadium of Beaver
dressed in blue and white religious garb. Once there, they
consume beverages of the gods.
TENURE: noun?; This is a disease common to academla
faculty. It is a terminal disease; once you get it you have it 1411
you die. Early symptoms include extreme anxiety a4M
panied by writer's cramp (from writing 'research papersl).
Known as the 'Publish or Perish' syndrome, unlike most other
diseases, faculty members suffer extreme depression when
diagnosed as not having it.
THE DAILY COLLEGIAN: prop. n.; Large sheets ;pf
newsprint strung together. with thin pieces of fact.
THE WALL: prop.n.; America's largest combined bus st 4),
entertainment center and open-air drug store. The Wallsis
registered by the Redneck Hunting Association as one of tne
prime spots for hippie hunting. Located on College Aver*
just look for the gaggle of long-haired unkempt people wearing
leather hats and holding puppies.
Brian Gamerman is a ninth-term graphics major and 'lli
Edition editor for The Daily Collegian
Callas Richardson is a ninth-term journalism major and is tile;
senior reporter covering student government for The Daily
Collegian
ed page will focus on the pros and cons of c*ed
housing 'and the reasons for its absence
. at
University Park. Students, faculty and other
members of the community are encouraged to
submit letters to the editorial editor, 126 Car
negie. All letters must be typed, double spaced
and no longer than 30 lines. Deadline Friday'
,
tel
Sept. 12, 5 p.m.
:Collegian
Wednesday, Sept. 10, 1980—Page 2
Betsy Long
Editor
BOARD OF EDITORS: Managing Editor, Doug Belt;
Editorial Editor, Mary Ann Hakowski; Assistsfat
Editorial Editor, Andy Linker; News Editors, Paula
Froke and David Van Horn; Sports Editor, Denie:e
Bachman; Assistant Sports Editors, Mike Pooh na'n
and Tom Verducci, Arts Editor, P.J. Platz; Assi stant
Arts Editor, Justin Catanoso; Photo Editor, Mat
Graff; Assistant Photo Editor, Betsy Overly; Graphit
Editor, Della Hoke; Copy Editors, Lynne Johnson, Ba
Winemiller, Chuck Hall, Paul Boynton, Jan Corwi4,
Cindy Deskins, Paddy Patton; Town Beat Coordinator,
Phil Gutis; Campus Beat Coordinator, Kathy Hokit;
General Assignment and Features Coordinator, Vicki
Fong; Assistant General Assignment and Fealeirs
Coordinator, Bernadette Eyler; Weekly Collegiaii
Editor, Wendy Trilling; Assistant Weekly Colleigiah
Editor, Christopher Lee; Office Manager, Elaine
Lembo.
is stealing,
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caught. The effects are far-reaching and
not easily forgotten.
Initially, you will have to cope with the
shame and humiliation of being catet.
In conjunction with that is the
frightening encounter with the police. M
well as, being issued a citation and being
required to appear in court, your
fingerprints will be taken and kept on a
permanent record with the FBI.
If this is not enough, let me remind'you
that your offense is not kept confidential.
Most likely your actions will be reported
in a paper which means you not only
have to deal with the anxiety and
depression produced so far, but also
suffer the consequences of your offetises
being revealed to people who mean a l lot
to you and respect you.
I am relating all of this because I
learned the hard way.
I was caught and am still having
immense difficulty coping with the
deleterious effects. Hopefully present
and potential shoplifters can learn dhe
easy way.
It is a terrible experience and I would
not want anyone to feel the effects 1 am
still feeling.
Kathy Matheny .
Business Manager
Illustration by Della Hoke
© 1980 Collegian 14.
Abler favors student CATA rep.
By CALLAS RICHARDSON •
Daily Collegian Staff Writer
~- Though he is not against student
• l iepresentation on the Centre Area
Transportation Authority, State College
Municipal Councilman Ronald F. Abler
said yesterday that one specific student
/
group should not be solely responsible
for nominating a representative.
Ever since students were granted a
.seat on the CATA board, the Un-
Nis .ergraduate Student Government has
).••
, ~ectorninated the person for ratification by
.'fthe council.
Abler said USG has the legal right to
appoint a nominee but is quick to point
oilvi , out that he feels the new method decided
b li ,,at Monday night's council meeting is
More practical for students.
.4 1 , According to the new system, the USG
A : Executive Council, in consultation with
li iithe Graduate Student Association, will
B i l pick three nominees for the CATA seat.
Nn l'he municipal council will then select
, im one of the three to sit on the CATA board.
6 fli : "This way the minimum of three
nominees can be decided upon by
J , Executive Council (which includes
il •, Executive
i many. student , organizations) and the
1,, 3 j graduate students will have more of an
. 4 i ti Oput," Abler said.
b iff; He said he did not like the idea of the
ob i i council "rubber . stamping" USG's
, oel nominee.
30 1 r "The idea is not to eliminate the seat
IT IS
Not a secret any more
BELL'S
REEK
PIZZA
•;is the best.
FREE DELIVERY
Starts at 4:30 pm Daily
;:24cross from S. Halls
38 E. College Ave.
.237-8616
51 , 1 t,I•rT.AI
A temporary snack bar is hiding in the service pantry adjoining the
ballroom on the main floor of the HUB. The hours are 9:00 am to 2:30 pm.
The menu
More complete meal service is hiding next door, behind the blue and gold
doors and downstairs, in the TERRACE ROOM CAFETERIA. You can find
breakfast from 7:00 to 9:30 a.m., lunch from 11:30 am to 1:15 pm, and
dinner from 4:45 to 6:45 pm.
But says one group should not name representative
WE'RE. PLAYING
HIDE AND SEEK
AND YOU'RE "IT"
You have been looking for the old familiar HUB LION'S DEN for a snack
or lunch, and all you can find is a blank wall. We have hidden phase one
of the HUB food service renovations behind that blank wall,
but you can find what you seek in other nearby hiding places.
my record on that is clear," he said.
"The idea is to have more than one
acceptable nominee instead of council
being bound to one."
USG President Joe Healey attended
the council meeting and was not pleased
with its decision.
"It is better for students to choose
their own representative in a democratic
sense and it is wrong for one body to
choose another body's representative,"
Healey said Monday night.
At the end of each fiscal year, the
CATA deficit is divided among the five
municipalities represented on the board.
USG does not share in the deficit
allowance.
"Since they do not pay the bill, they
should not have the unqualified right to
be the sole nominating body for student
representation," Abler said.
He said the lack of representation by
students this summer was not a factor in
the council's deCision.
Students did not have adequate
representation on the board this summer
when there was a mix-up in ad
ministrative . affairs by USG as the
nominating body.
In the August 13 edition of The Daily
Collegian, Healey said regular student
representation would resume Fall Term.
At that time, Healey said, Beth
Brickman (11th-labor studies) was to be
the interim representative selected by
is very limited, but you can get beverages, snacks,
wiches, salad, and yogurt.
Healey from applications submitted at
the beginning of Summer Term.
Brickman was to fill the seat vacated in
March by former USG Vice President
Vicki Sandoe.
"We took her (Brickman) because she
was experienced," Healey told the
Collegian. But he added student
government would seek someone more
qualified to handle the CATA seat in the
fall.
Brickman said she never received
official notification of her appointment
to the CATA board. She added that no
one told her when and where the
meetings were held.
Healey and USG Vice President Andy
Weintraub contacted her only once each
the entire summer and had "left her in
the dark" as to what her official duties
were, Brickman said.
Healey refuted Brickman's
statements after they were published in
the paper.
If USG had found an interim
representative, it did follow proper
Memorial services scheduled
MemOrial services for Kevin D. Gilmore, who graduated from the
Gilmore, a former University student University Spring Term with a B.S. in
killed in a car crash last month, will be chemistry, was killed on Aug. 10 while
held at 1 p.m. on Friday in Eisenhower driving to the UniVersity of Maryland to
Chapel. begin graduate work in biochemistry.
FOOD FAST NOT FAST FOOD FOOD FAST NOT FAST FOOD
v / i . .&
Brittany
•
HOUSE OF FINE SOUPS a CREPES
254 Calder Way (behind Mid-State Bank)
. .
ALL YOU CAN EAT
A
SHRIMP irs,i SALAD
only $5.25
A light delicious nutritious summer meal
this week after 4 p.m. except Sunday.
Bring your own wine or other beverage to complement your meal,
save on restaurant prices and we will chill it for you.
FOOD FAST NOT FAST FOOD FOOD FAST NOT FAST FOOD,
!! , h,;..: - Ir, •ull
Here are some clues that will help.
channels in its motions to sustain student
representation on the CATA board for
the summer.
Healey said he sent a letter to the State
College Municipal Council, which makes
all appointments to the CATA board,
expressing his and Organization of Town
Independent Students president Bob
Karp's willingness to work with the
council on finding a student represen
tative.
Acting council president Mary Ann
Haas at that time said the council
received a joint letter dated July 25,
from Healey, Karp and USG Senate
President Andrea So!at,. saying they
were interested in finding a . person for
the seat. According to Haas, the letter
also expressed apologies for not for
warding nominee names for the seat
vacated by Sandoe.
As far as a USG interim represen
tative holding a seat, Haas said in
August: "She may have been attending
and not voting. I was not aware of any
USG representative."
.., .., .
P.S.U. UKRAINIAN CLUB
FIRST MEETING
Wednesday September 10
8 P.M. 304 Boucke
Come see what we're about!
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