Here Comes the Fun
IZIS PERHAPS fitting that USG—
once again—is hung up on petty politics
in determining such a simple matter as
the date for executive elections.
Since Fall Term, USG has been
bogged down over purely procedural
problems having no bearing on matters
such as those concerning the quality of
life for students.
The in-fighting, the quarreling, the
feuding has been overwhelming. USG
spent the entire Fall Term and part of
Winter arguing over the eligibility of
former town Congressman Joe Myers.
AFTER HAVING settled that case
by kicking Myers out of his seat, Con
gress searched desperately for another
issue which would have nothing to do
with students but would keep the con
gressmen busy.
To the rescue came an issue of pro
found significance—should a congress
man be thrown out of USG for missing
one meeting? With a sigh of relief, Con-
Everything's Melting
COLLEGIAN EDITORIALS to the And now, even more substantially,
contrary, there is indeed someone in Old the Board of Trustees has voted to set
Main (or heaven) who does some en- aside a $30,000 fund to provide for emer
lightened thinking. gency short-te,rm, interest-free loans to
students from minority groups -or low
income families. '
First there was The excellent deci
sion not to prohibit the expected—
t hou g h now possibly postponed—
speeches" here by Chicago Conspiracy THE SNOW IS melting, and so too
participants Jerry Rubin and William is the refusal of Penn State bosses to
Kunstler. respond to changing University needs.
On Dope, Pigs, Hunger, the Panthers, SDI and the Shriners
By COMMANDER ALI
Collegian Columnist
•
(Following is the second of a two-part report of black
satirist and lecturer Dick Gregory's March 9 speech at
Juniata College.)
Dick continued to rap on heroin use and how easily he
could obtain it. He said, "Let me give you a good example:
Huntingdon (where Juniata College is located). Dig it now!
Let's say I walk off this stage. Let's say I got in town eight
o'clock tonight. So by nine-thirty I'd be here, 1 1 / 2 hours, never
been to this town before. Would you believe that? Would you
believe by ten o'clock I could have it jumping through my
veins? Would you believe that? -
"Now dig what I'm saying 'fore you laugh now. Never
been to this town before in my, life. Got here at eight o'clock.
From eight to eight-thirty I'm sitting here talking to you. So in
15 minutes I could make contact to-get some heroin. In 30
minutes it can be jumping through my veins. Dig it now! I've
never been to this town before and by ten o'clock tonight I can
be high off heroin. But your cops who's born, worked and lived
here—they can't find the heroin man? Are you really that big
a fool? That a.stranger who's never been here can get,a fix in
an hour? Then'maybe what you oughta' do is start making the
heroin user the policeman. Since they the only ones who seem
to know where the 'man' is. Yaw'll officers got a big job.
Alcohol a Narcotic?
"You're momma and daddy trying to tell yob 'bout smok
ing dope, and they goin' around with a martini in their hand.
Them damn fools not even aware that alcohol is a 'narcotic'.
The worse narcotic in use in America today is alcohol. Eight
million alcoholics! Eight million alcoholics! They affect the
lives of 75 million people. Them damn alcoholics kill more
folks on the highway in the course of the year than all you
radicals could do in the next 50 years, if you tried.
"All them damn fools runnin' around hollerin' you got to
have respect for law and order. They the first ones to get in
their car and drive after drinkin'. Dig it now! Understand it
good! See you've got to understand the kind of degeneracy
- ' gIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 1111111111111111
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Editorial Opinion
gress quibbled over the problem until
Winter Term was exhausted.
This term, the problem is in deciding
when to hold the executive elections for
USG president, vice president and
treasurer. As with all the other hassles,
the fighting is largely politically moti
vated.
AT TUESDAY'S USG meeting, Con
gress passed, 21-9, a bill which held that
the executive elections be run during
the third week of this term. The vote
was largely divided along political lines.
The supporters of candidate Jim An
toniono voted for the earlier elections
while the backers of still unannounced
candidates Bob Brinley and Tom Stilli
tano wanted the elections deferred.
Purported Brinley supporter and
USG President Ted Thompson disclosed
that he would veto the bill—giving all
the political camps an extra week of
campaigning to do.
SO THE POLITICAL maneuvering
goes on—and the USG version of the
"student as nigger" once more emerges.
that's in this country. Once you understand-it you can reverse
it.
"You wanna stop all the highway accidents? You wanna
know how this coming Fourth of July can be highway death
toll-free? Yea! Would you believe that? You can have a
Fourth of July that's without anybody getting killed on the
highway. That's the big smash-up!
SDS Press Conference
"All's you have to do is hold a press conference with
S.D.S., the Black Panthers and a couple of other radical
groups. We call for everybody in America that's against the
war on the Fourth to get drunk, get in your car, get on the
highway and kill somebody in protest of the war. You know
what'd happen don't you? All your mommies and daddies will
be so damn outraged they'll have a soldier every other foot on
the highway all the way across America and before the day's
over no one will have been killed. It's very hard for parents
that's boozing all the time to tell young kids they shouldn't
smoke dope.
"Let me say to you youhgsters in the house that anything
that stimulates the body is bad for you. Be it tea, coffee, dope,
alcohol or anything that stimulates the body is bad for you. So
for those of you who've used dope, who want to use dope, that
might get to the age where you get married and plan to have
kids, you might not want them to use it. You should write to
the Federal Bureau of Narcotics and ask them for information
on Drugs and Alcohol. Then you'll be able to intelligently
answer your kids when they ask you should they or shouldn't
they indulge.
"Don't be like your damn fool parents. The way they talk
about it makes you wanna try it. I'll tell you youngsters
something else. Don't think for one minute when you get mar
ried and have kids that you as a parent can smoke a cigarette
in front of those kids and the kids know that cigarette cause
cancer. Don't think you could ever be that irresponsible in
front of your kids. Then ever one day sit down and try to tell
those kids how to run their lives. Kids are not that ignorant.
"I've never called a cop a pig and I never will, although I
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PLANU'II SNOOP'.
NAVE A SPECIAL
JOB FOR SM.
to\
pplio ROOKIE
tail) OF THE
vb .
..,„
Dick Gre • o at Juniata
'Fool Parents'
Some Forthright Thurber Humor
By MARY MURRAY
Collegian Staff Writer
The Penn State Players brought to
life some of the James Thurber humor of
the 19305, costumed the characters in
flowered vests and pastel bell-bottoms
and surrounded them with vibrating
rhythms of modern sound in an enjoy
able performance of "A Thurber Carni
val" at the Pavilion Tuesday night.
"Carnival," written by Thurber and
based on his short stories, fables and
other pieces of miscellaneous humor, en
tertains the audience with twelve lively
skits.
The opening scene, "Word
lacked the tempo.it needed, and
the gag lines were inaudible,
following skit, "Three Fables
Time" picked up the pace. Dee
performance as narrator of tht
added to its success,
Perry Sweetser, •in one of the best
performances of the evening, portrayed
"The Secret Life of Walter Mitt
skill, aided by the abilities of •
SEE IF WE NAVE ANY NEW
PLAYERS 'MING OUT FOR THE
TEAL. IF WE DO, GIVE THEM
A LITTLE COACHING...
r ~ s ~
don't see anything wrong with it. I'll never call a policeman a
pig cause I got too much wisdom. I know what bag the cop is
workin' out of. The same cop who'll stop the SDS from
demonstrating against poverty, better not touch the shriners
when they come to town and get sloppy drunk. Remember
that! For those of you in America who are upset about
policemen and members of the power structure being called
pigs, I say to you go check out your Bible cause that's where
those statements are coming from.
Some Bible Talk
"Mark Chapter s—any of you familiar with it? Those of
you unfamiliar with it. when you go home tonight read your
Bible. If you haven't got a Bible in your house check into the
motel over the weekend, they got one there! Mark Chapter 1:
Ole' Christ was walking through the wilderness one day, guy
walks up to him and says, 'Lord, I'm infested with demons.
I'm infested with demons! They make me do bad things. They
control me. Lord. He said my name is Legion.'
"Check that out! Mark Chapter 5. As you read through the
chapter you see where Christ decided to help him. He reached
in and pulled out the Legions which he got from the belly of
the swine! If you folks still dislike members of the power
structure being called pigs then go home and burn your Bible.
'Cause that's where it came from.
"The reason the Panthers are killed isn't cause they're
black or advocate self-defense. It's because they're talking
about feeding poor, hungry black folks. They wasn't having
problems until they started talking 'bout feeding poor, hungry
black folks. If you don't believe it then you white folks go
down to Appalachia talkin"bout feedin poor, hungry whites.
They'll kick your door open one day at five in the morning.
"I don't have to explain that to you. They just finished
doing it to Yablonski, and all he was talking about was feeding
poor, hungry white folks in Appalachia. He wasn't no black
Panther. Remember? Killed him, his wife and his daughter.
Think about that! So you see anytime a country with 200
million people, and 44 million people go to bed every night
hungry. Those aren't my figures, those are Nixon's Com
mission on Nutrition.
Campbell, who
, played Mitty's domineer
ing wife.
"The Pet Shop," featuring Sweetser
as the eccentric veterinarian and Claire
Coyne as his assistant, was one of the
funniest skits in the show. Thurber-like
drawings were flashed on a screen to
show maladies of the various animals
owned by television viewers who needed
the doctor's advice—a fish with ears
(was it valuable?) and a moose with
loose antlers.
Ron Hetrick portrayed Thurber in
"File and Forget It," a successful spoof
based on the frustrations of writing
business letters or what. to do with 32
copies of "Grandma Was a Nudist."
Hetrick also performed well as the
drunken general suffering front a
hangover in "If Grant Had Been Drinking
At Appomattox."
"The Macbeth Murder Mystery"
moved a little slower than it should have,
but the performance of Helena Ruoti,
who played • the wide-eyed and airy
headed detective mystery addict, helped
Dance,"
some of
but the
for Our
Helsel's
'Fables"
portrayed a man stranded on an island
and a reporter in a successful per
formance of "Casuals of the Keys."
The players used a minimum, of
props in the "Carnival" and the lighting
direction by David James Markley was
well done. The costumes designed by J.
H. Brooks, Jr., consisted mainly of the
pastel and flowered outfits worn by all of
the cast members, with additions for
several skits, where simple costuming
changes were used.
Music, provided by four members of
Clovis Point, was one of the high points of
the production. The group used an elec
tric piano with excellent results.
Although the first act of "Carnival"
could have been smoother and better
paced, the second act achieved a more
professional performance, which could in
dicate that the flaws in the production
were more a case of opening night jitters
than inept acting and timing.
The production, which runs until
Saturday night. is a lot of fun and well
who - 'uld ap-
"They came up with them figures so you know how they
watered 'em down. Forty-four million people go to bed hungry
every night in America. In a country that pays rich farmers
billions of dollars not to plant? In a country where Sen. East
land gets $16,000 every month not to plant, but a baby in
Mississippi gets $8 a month to live on?"
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PAGE TWO THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1970
—Colbralan Cartoon by Alan Caurduff
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