TUESDAY. SEPTEMBER 18. 1956
Frosh Gridders Open Drills
Over forty freshman football
aspirants including eighteen
from the Western Pennsylvania
area—have reported to frosh grid
coach Earl Bruce for pre-season
drills.
Fifteen of the frosh r li.opefuls
are products of the Weste n Penn
sylvania Interscholastic Athletic
League (WPIAL), considered one
of the best high school athletic
organizations in the nation. ,
Six men hail from the Phila
delphia area, four from the
Scranton-Wilkes-Barre section,
and four reside out of state.
The rest are from nine different
high schools scattered through
out Pennsylvania.
One of the hottest prospects is
center Earl Kolhass from Me
chanicsburg. Kolhass, who stands
6-2 and weighs 200 pounds was
twice selected as the first team
All-State center by both the As
sociated Press and the United
Press.
The list of top frosh -contend
ers include ends Norm Neff,
Jerry Murphy, John Bozick,
Frank Mafgaski. and Dave Mell
- tackles Andy Stynucla,
Chuck Jamerette, John Sava.
Bill Perry, and John Parks.
TONY'S
BARBER SHOP
Haircut by tarn or appointment
231 E. Beaver
AD 8-8012
Parking no problem
WHY PAY MORE?
AT SEARS IN STATE COLLEGE
4 ONLY $2 , 1 00
A real saving
found only
at Sears.
THOUSANDS
SOLD TO*
STUDENTS AND
PROFESSIONAL
DRAFTSMEN
tractor; 25 sheets of 18 x 24 in. white tracing paper; 2 each
No. 2 and No. 4 drawing pencils; a pencil pointer with 12 sand paper sheets per pad; black
waterproof ink; erasing shield; 84 stick tacks; 25 sheets of 18 x 24 inch manila drawing
paper; art gum eraser.
zcaafzeomvaaeavree-e SEARS "0 W "`ege
wrote //totter Kzei°
Guards Ed Donald, Mike Ro-'Ed Caye, Joe Youngo, Pat Botula,
migh, Don Maddigan, Frank Kor-I Bob Basa r a. John Carabello,
bini, Ted Curtin, Carmen Camil-I Frank Monoichio, Mike Cherve
la, and Dick Bullock; centers Earl. nic. Ted Steinman. Glenn Widler,
Kolhass, Sam Stelltella, Tim Gra-I Fritz Tener, and Jack Urban.
ham, and Al Lasko; quarterbacks,
Dick Lucas, Pete Cimino, and Joe l '
DeNone, FOR GOOD RESULTS
Backs Dave Kraft, Pat Funair,lUSE COLLEGIAN CLASSIFIEDS
Welcome to
Penn State
Class of 1960
the
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RESTAURANT
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Football, Too?
Penn State lacrosse star Ball All freshman candidates for the
Hess. of Manhasset, N.Y., current-lfrosh lacrosse squad should report
ly is bidding for attention in foot-Ito a practice meeting at 5 p.m..
ball. Hess. who played the grid:Tuesday. Sept. 25 in tl4 Recrea
sport in high school, last Spring:tion Hall. Previous lacrosse ex
set a new Penn State lacrosse perience is not necessary to try
scoring record of 41 goals. lout for the squad.
r 4
- o n e limput , w i t h
(Author of "Barefoot Bay vs Cheek:" etc.)
FOOTBALL: ITS CAUSE AND CURE
At next Saturday's football game, while you are sitting
in your choice student's seat on the ten-yard line, won't
you give a thought to Alaric Sigafoos?
Who, you ask, is Alaric Sigafoos7 Come closer, sit
down, light a Philip Morris, savor that natural tobacco
goodness, sigh contentedly, cross your fat little legs, and
listen.
Alaric Sigafoos (1368-1931) started life humbly on a
farm dear Thud, Kansas. His mother and father, both
named Ralph, were bean-gleaners, and Alaric became a
bean-gleaner too. But he soon tired of the work and went
to Memphis where he got a job with a logging firm. Here
the ex-bean-gleaner worked as a stump-thumper.- Then
he drifted to Texas where he tidied up oil fields (pipe..
wiper). Then to Arizona where he strung dried fruit
(fig-rigger). Then to Virginia where he was a research
assistant (book-looker). Then to Long Island where he
dressed poultry (duck-plucker). Then to California where
he lectured young women who were about to get married
(bride-chider). Then to Minnesota where he cut up frozen
lakes (ice-slicer). .Then to Nevada where he determined
the odds in a gambling house (dice-pricer). Then to
Milwaukee where he pasted camera lenses together
(Zeiss-splicer).
Finally he went to Omaha where he got a job in a
tannery, beating pig -hides until they were soft mid supple
(hog-flogger). Here he found happiness at last.
Why, you ask, did he find happiness at last as a hog
flogger? Light another firm and fragrant Philip Morris,
taste that true tobacco flavor, puff, relax, let sweet lassi
tude possess your limbs, and listen.
Next door to the hog-floggery was an almond grove
owned by a girl named Chimera Emrick. Chimera was
pink and white and marvelously hinged, and Alaric was
hopelessly in love the moment he clapped eyes on her.
Each day he came to the almond grove to woo Chimera,
but to no avail. He tried with all his vigor and guile,
but she, alas, stayed coot.
Then one day Alaric got a brilliant idea. It was the
day before the annual Omaha Almond Festival. On this
day, as 'we all know, every almond growcr in Omaha
enters a float in the big parade. The floats always consist
of large cardboard almonds hanging from large cardboard
almond trees.
Alaric's inspiration was to stitch pieces of pigskin
together and inflate them until they looked like big,
plump almonds - . "These sure beat skinny old cardboard
almonds," said Alaric to himself. "Tomorrow they will
surely take first prize for Chimera, and she will be mine!"
Early the next morning Alaric came running to
Chimera with his inflated pigskin almonds, but she, alas,
told him she was not entering a float that year. In fact,
she had just sold her.almond grove and was moving East
to try out with the Boston Red Sox.
Alaric, upon hearing these glum tidings, flew into a
violent rage. He started kicking his pigskin almonds all
over the place. And who should,be walking by at that
very instant but Abner Doubleday!
Mr. Doubleday, who had invented baseball some years
earlier, was now trying to invent football, but without
success. The trouble was, he couldn't figure out what kind
of ball to use. Now, seeing Alaric kick the pigskin
spheroids, his problem was suddenly solved. "Eureka!"
he cried, and ran to his drawing board, and the rest is
history!
When you go to next Saturday's game, the makers a/ Philip
M or ri s , spon so r s o f this column, suggest you take along thu
perfect football companion—Philip Morris, of corrisl
Lacrosse Candidates
rppitleSS at last•--
TSfax Shulman, 3944
PAGE SEVEN