TiIiTRSDAY, MARCH 29, 1951 'ON THE BALL' Seems as though U.S. athletics have advanced 2 -we might even say digressed—to a point where a sport just ain't a sport less'u an all-star team is selected at the end of its run. If the star squad, regardless of its frailties, was limited to a single team it might be okay. We can't understand, then, why the men of the press continue to select 2nd, 3rd, and 4th teams in addi tion to ally-star bench warmers, all-star water boys, and even—egad! all-star bus drivers who drive the all-star all-stars to the all-star games. With an assist to a helpful encyclopedia, we've decided to name a super all-American court team—consisting entirely of animals. Certainly, with gamblers and hoodlums now overrunning the sport to say that basketball is going to the quadruped members is not too hard a simile to grasp. No. 1 task would be the selection - of a coach. Like a crab, over two thousand are known; they differ greatly in size and shape. Like an old crow they are noted for their intelligence and cunning, and, as mosquitoes, they live on the blood—made by puncture—of those beneath them. That's what's known in trade parlance as "Giving 'em the needle." However, their itch is worse than their bite. Best way to eradicate these pests is to exterminate all breeding places including gyms, armories, and Madison Square Garden. Some coaches are like the rhinoceros which has a thick skin and leads a tranquil, indolent life. Owing to its keenness of smell and large ears it cannot be easily 'attacked but when confronted with a striped creature called a "referee" it charget with great fury and impetuosity. Assistant coaches come—like jello—in assorted flavors. Some. starting out like barnacles, swim about from place to place as youngsters but soon degenerate and settle down to 'one place for life. Because of low salaries, their power of fasting and habit of in• flating themselves gives rise to the fable that they live on air. In general, they are dull and torpid and, like leeches, when they find a good thing they stick to it. The irritation and annoyance of their bits are sufficient to make them a nuisance. Student managers have sarcastically, been referred to as the "low-life" or amoeba type. Their mode of locomotion is flowing— which they do slowly. In truth, however, they are like busy ants, forever rushing around even though they never seem to accomplish anything. They have well-developed legs and have long been noted for their re markable activities and interesting habits. The "workers" or 2nd assistant managers perform all the labors. They carefully watch over their charges about to acquire perfect growth. The "soldiers" or Ist assistant managers pass the winter in a daze and, of course, require no food as they do little work. Then there is the "king" or head manager who receives all the glory and patronage and rightly so—he • says. Both workers and soldiers submissively obey him. Referees can plainly be cast into the roles of weasels and zebras. As weasels they are found both in Europe and America. In Europe, where likes and dislikes are more harsh, they have been known as "polecats." Mostly white in color, these patriotic critters have been known to turn red with anger, white- with fear, and blue with indigestion. Noted for their ferocity, they prey upon their charges without mercy. They are most active at night, sleeping most of the day and searching for their prey after the sun has set. As zebras a majority resemble the ass more than the horse. They're stubborn. The neck and body are recognizably black and white-striped. They are almost untamable, although such big game hunters as John Lawther, Adolph Rupp, Eddie Gottleib, and Joe Lapchick have at times driven them into harness. Finally we come to the least important members of the talent (continued on page eight) Freshman Baseball Candidates for the freshnian baseball team should report to Coach Oggie Marcella on Beav er field between 3:30 and 5:30 o'clock this afternoon. STILL 90ca carton For . . . . Candy & Chewing Gum SALLY'S 140 S. -Pugh St. By RAY KOEHLER Sports Editor A Trip To The Animal's Fair otential INDUCTEES "THE INDUCTEES HANDBOOK FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS" —is indispensable for intelligent young men who, if drafted, plan SERVICE ADVANCEMENT. —a summary of what to expect . . . a chronological orienta tion to 35 ASPECTS OF SERVICE LIFE. —written by former combat officers and non-corns, it covers EXEMPTIONS, DEFERMENTS and use of education to se cure RATINGS and CHOICE OF SERVICE. J. —from Induction Day through Basic Training, Combat, Oc cupation and Discharge. —plus other chapters on The Enemy, Promotion, Events Leath ing To World Crisis, Service Education, and tips on adjust ment, advantageous classification, commissions, the right job, etc. • —stiff cover, plastic binding, now only $l.OO. —CONCISE, OBJECTIVE, and UTILITARIAN TO ORDER: Send request with name, address and remittance. (We will be glad to bill you if you so request) Delivery is prompt and satisfaction, of course, is guaranteed. National acceptance of our manuals by students and faculties in over 600 colleges is recognition of reliable quality. THE DAILY COLLEGIAN, STATE COLLEGE, PENNSYLVANIA Outfielders Least Of Coach Bedenk's Worries For "Well, no matter how we switch the boys around into different po sitions this year, I think we'll still have a well-rounded out field," Coach Joe Bedenk re cently remarked. "Those outfield ers have been hitting all right, but the only drawback I can see is that their throwing is still er ratic. They'll have to hustle a lit tle more out there," he added. The outfield is one department that will not suffer from manpow er shortage, nor has the team lost any 1950 members through graduation. In fact, just the mere mention of the word "outfield" makes Bedenk smile a little, in spite of other worries concerning his green squad. Many Changes Certainly the outfielders have been switched around, and look ing over the other positions an outfielder can be seen working out in almost every capacity. For instance, Stan Laganosky is ca vorting around first base, Chris Tonnery is seen at the hot corner filling in for Harry'Little (in Iran with the soccer team), Captain Bill Ondick is around shortstop, while Owen Dougherty is being primed as a first-line hurler. • Here is some pertinent infor mation on the individual outer gardeners: Ondick is a two-time varsity letter-winner from. Mun hall, and the Lion's regular left fielder last spring. Ondick is known as a "heady" ballplayer, and a better-than-average ball hawk. Harrisburg-weanec, ieft-hand ed hitting Henny Albright is short for an outfielder but he makes up for lack of height through his ability as a lead-off man. He is also a good base-run ner and possesses a constant line of chatter. Albright was the reg ular leftfielder in 1949, but was kept out of action last year be cause of a broken leg. He is a senior in chemical engineering. Hard-Hitting Returnee Bill Hopper is another holdov er from last season when he hit a lusty .328 as a first-year man. 3's a CROWD 7 7 Sec. 3 RICE RESEARCH ASSOC. 2121 E. 68th St., Chicago 49 By LOWELL KELLER This is the fifth and last in a series of articles about the 1851 baseball squad. The Collegian has attempted to cover as thoroughly as pos sible ever._ phase and prob lem facing Coach Joe Bedenk. Today's prospectus takes in one of his easier problems, the outfield. 1951 Baseball Campaign dCPb. - 1 34 - baseball team. They are (left to right) Sil derchie, Stan Laganosky, and Henry Albright. Laganosky may be 'converted to first base but the other two are virtually assured of outfield posts. He spent his freshman year at California state teachers. Hopper, southpaw all around, plays right field and is considered the best power-hitter on the squad. In one game last season, Bill wal loped a ball over the stands in right-center field, a feat perform ed only one other time in Penp State baseball history. Two rookies who have clinch ed positions in the outer pasture are sophomores Bob Schoellkopf and Sil Cerchie. Schoellkopf, a left-handed swinger who throws righty, has been pounding the ball extremely well this spring. Cerchie, from Elkland, is right handed all the way, and an Amer ican Legion baseball star who .AN1.1.0,-43114pvA) EGG NOG ICE CREAM RINGS BALFOUR'S Located in the "A" Store played for the West in the an nual East-West all-star game in Pittsburgh. Sil is a clever base runner, and extremely fast afield. Laganosky is a 6-foot 3-inch slugger from Eckley, who played varsity ball in 1949. Lag is a hard worker, peppery, and a surpris ingly good base-runner for his size. He is an all right-handed senior who is now being groom ed by Coach Bedenk to ease his first-base problem at which spot he is working well. There have been only six coaches at the Penn State wres tling helm in 43 years, and Char lie Speidel has been the boss for the last 25. Yes—here's that good, old-time egg nog flavor you like—blended in a wonder. fully-delicious ice cream. Ask your Breyer Dealer for it. SENIORS It will soon be cap and gown time. Be sure to or der your Penn State Class Ring soon. Your ring will be a source of pleasure and may serve you well as a means of recognition or as an introduction to new and valued friends. rAGE SEVEN