PAGE TWO
Gripes of Roth
By RED ROTH
Last night I had a nightmare.
I dreamt I was in the Parlor of Sigma !'oo's
luxurious fraternity house surrounded on one,
side by the Sigma Foo rushing chairman and on
the other by the rushing chairthan of their arch
rival, Fi Theta.
In my right hand was a quarter-keg of beer.
In my left a gigantic twelve-foot pretzel. Simul
taneously I was smoking three cigarettes, one
with my mouth and one with each ear.
Then the conversation began:
• • *
SIGMA FOG—Why, did you know that last
year we not only captured the IM parcheesi
championship for the second straight year, but
we also missed by 1/10 of a point the IM pin
ochle title?
FI THETA—Huh, you think that's omwthing.
We had two members of the varsity croquet
team in our house. True. they didn't get into
any matches, but they got their letters.
ME—But fellows— •
SIGMA FOO—And activities men. The vice
president of the Louise Homer club and the
chairman of the Wednesday night choral so
oiety were Sigma Foo's last year.
* •
Ft THETA—Tosh! Surely you've heard of
Eranny Rogel, State's terrific fullback. Well, the
second assistant manager who carried Punchy's
helmet was a Theta.
Mt—That's very interesting fellows, but—
SIGMA FOO—The contacts you could make
through joining this house are tremendous. The
father of one of our brothers owns the soft drink
concession at Hecla Park. Our president's. father
is a big man in the financial world. I under
stand he books more than half of Ml the num;
bets handled in Snowshoe.
THETA--But if it's beautiful women you
want to get acquainted with, Fi Theta's the
house for you. Last year one of our boys was
going with Miss Lower Southeastern Centre
C.
ME—Fine, but— •
SIGMA FOO—We have the most complete
bluebook files of any fraternity on campus. Ir
fact one of our men even managed to pass Chen -,
30 last spring. There's files for you.
Fl THETA—I only wish I could show you ou
trophy case. Every Fi Theta who gets over
.55 semester average gets a trophy all his ow
Think how proud your mother would be.
ME—She certainly would, 'but—
SIGMA MO—And we treat our pledges lil
area. Noise of this silly hating or paddlhig o:
personal duties. Just simple house duties like '
building a game room or installing our new of)
burner.
Ft THETA—What food! Believe me, it's bet
ter than eating at home. Shrimp cocktail, pheas
ant under glass, pickled pheasant's tongues, and
franks and beans no more than four times s
week.
SIGMA. POO—Surely by now I've convince.
you that Sigma Foo is your logical home awa;
from home. The place where you'll be happy
living among exceptional men of sterling char
acter, reveling in the physical delights unequal
led by any other fraternity at Penn State, am'
making contacts that will serve you in goon'
stead once you leave the campus.
FT THETA—On the contrary. You must real
ise that Phi Theta is the fraternity of your
choice if you want unexcelled social life, com
panionship in the finest of American traditions,
and the best in fraternal traditions. What's your
decision?
sure both of you men bE4ong to iltn
fraternities, but I'm afraid I can't join either
one. I've been trying to tell you for the last half
hour that I'm the rushing chairman:ot Deta Tau
and I just came in to look over your rushees.
For Your
il o t t
• \ T O Coke Dates
6 i
• t4O) at State
COME TO YOUR FRIENDLY REXALL STORE
Meet your friends at our new, modern and spacious'
soda fountain
REA & DEMI(
121 B. Allen
OPEN DAILY AT 7 A. M.
Delicious Breakfast and Lunches
THL DAILT•COMEMAN, COMM PENNSYLVANIA 1
"He Doth Bestir-We The Narrow World Übe A
~.vtottoißov.l """6"
Gleaned From Prints
FRESHMEN ItE.OICED that September day 20 years ago
when Student Tribunal lifted the ban forbidding their presence in
pool rooms. Further, they were from that . date allowed to wear
wooden caps while skating on the winter sports development pond.
"Several years ago the rule was essential to give upperclass
men a chance at the tables," Tribunal's president explained.
"Now that the indoor recreation rooms have become more plenti
-1111 and the sport less popular, the custom is obsolete".
* • * *
When athletic cards replaced AA. books in use at this time 2C
cars ago, Neil M. Fleming, then graduate manager of athletics
earlded the "new system" as a "progressive step and one which has
len adopted by other colleges."
Upon presentation of his metric card, each student was issued
season ticket, on which wast his photograph and spaces marked
!or five athletic contests for which reserved seats were -required,
Bucknell and Lafayette football games were two contests
•loted on the card, • with the three remaining spaces possibly to
le used for an additional football contest and two winter events.
5 YEARS AGO •
Penn Stele's Russian Club took the initiative five years ago
today and, working in conjunction with the Russian War Relief
:(it program, sponsored the College's part in making the national
(rive a success.
"Help these people. They have justified their worth," a spokes
'ian for the club, urged. "It need not be stressd that, whoever
eceives the package, wherever the person may be, sincere thanks
‘.nd deep appreciation would burn in the heart of the recipient"
1 e concluded.
IT WAS A SAD Sepilember day back in '44 for four frosh men
tied by Tribunal found guilty and duly punished for such crimes
s appearing on the street dinkless, failing to bow before the
Willow and walking on the 'grass.
Most Severe penalty of all was meted out to an unfortdnate who
vas caught "red-handed" walking both dinkiest and on the
grass.
For indulging himself in these . activities, Tribunal • decreed
:hat he- would walk backwards to class with a mirror in' his
~hand to gude him. Further, it was decreed that on his head he
would wear a large straw hat With his dink on top, and on his
back would be fastened a red lantern. In the meantime, he was
to carry a bucket of grass in his harid.
~ •
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, 3C36 DENO Alt d STAVE -f. ,M
ne
By AL RYAN
20 YEARS AGO
FRTDAY, SEPTEMBER 2'3, 1041
In the Act
New sophomores and freshmen—as welt as
upperclassmen —on campus will indicate the
quantity and quality of their Nittany spirit by
their numbers and their noise at the pep rally—
o'clock tonight at the Lion Shrine.
No better way exists, except at the game it
self', to show Lion football players that students
are supporting them. The team needs it. It's
common fact that this year's Penn State grid
iron schedule is perhaps the toughest yet under
taken In the College's history.
The Blue Band, carhpus leaders, batmen, the
Nittany Lion himself will be at the Shrine to
night. But they are not enough. . . .
Give the team a boost. GET IN THE ACT,
Tracking
Down a
Tales af'
• With the SUM
There's a good chance the culprits who paint
ed the Lion Shrine were ex-Gl's. At least the
job was a marvel of camoufage. The
blush - white shade used was of such ' a neutral'
shade that an observer almost had to touch
the Lion before noticing it was marred . . . .
But camouflage or no camouflage, Capt.
Mark of the Campus Patrol didn't think it a
bit funny. "If the Lion is painted again in the
next few nights," he warned, "there will be
dire consequences for the offenders When they're
caught."
Some sophomores in journalism should be
just about the best counaelpd of all new stu
dents being told the whys and wherefores of
campus. life by more than 70 upperclassmen
selected by PSCA.
Here's the reason: At the first' meeting of
the group Wednesday, three counselors were
on hand to take care of the woes of just about
50 • young journalists. But only 17 showed up
. . . and received extra-intensive advice.
And the explanation: •We hear some one
made a slip-up at Tuesday night's convocation
and handed most of the journ students arts
and letters schedules. -
It's an old saw around these parts that the
football team is composed of those who weren't
east enough to make the Blue Band. . . The
reason is: Prof. Dunlop's proteges have -been
clocked at 180 full strides per minute—that. Was
at last year's Penn game. But their usual pace
is a hardly less terrific 172 strides per minute
once the season rolls on.
affr Batty Collegian
Successor to THE FREE LANCE. cot. ISSIr
Published Tuesday through Saturday' wonders 'hi.
cluolve daring the College year by the staff of lie
Pennerylvarda State College.
Represented for national advertising by Natimadd
vertislng Service, Madison Ave., New York, Chlorite. Las
Angeles, San • Pranclse*.
Editor Business Maxim's
Tom Morgan Ws Marlin A. Warm,
STAFF THIS ISSUE
General News: John Ashbrook, Ray Boob*,
Art Benning, Bill, Boyles, Bill Detwiler, Norman
Goode. Tom Morgan, Jack Reen, Jo Reist, Red
Roth. Al Ryan, Dottie Werlinich. •
Sports: Ray Koehler, Bob Kotsbaner, Elliot
Krane, George Vadasz. . .
Society: Barbara Brosvn, Commie Inner.
Advertising: Don Baker, Bob Bergman, Herb
Blough, Thelma Geier, Lou Gilbert. Betty Jane
Hower. Joe Jackson, Ruth Johnson, Tom Karel.
cik. Ed Noyes; Marlin Weaver, Hal Wollin. Jerry
Yeager.
LIGHT UP A PIPEFUL Of
1 HEINE'S . BLEND
The Smoking . Toisacto
with an LLD.* degree
• tallies Loipe Deadly