PAGE FOUR
CLASSIFIEDS
All classy ads must be in before the
paper goes to press because we like to
keep Don Ellis and Al Ostar happy.
Prises are all right as prices go. You
eat run your ad 3 times it you feel like
Beep smiling and don't forget April
1, it's a date.
TlME—Watch for it. It was sec
ond handed, but need it in a
hurry. Every minute counts.
ONE 1938 Buick convertible
sentimental value. Ha ve n'
tired of it yet. Call Wheel 3333%
CIGARETTE lighter. Have been
lighting on a post for two days.
Need a claim to flame.
STRAW HAT from Skellar. It
went on ahead, left me without
3 days' notice. It was the last
straw.
ONE piece of mind from tempor
ary building. Finder please noti
fy loser. Thank you. The Brain.
SUNDAY'S paper with last in
stallment of Dick Tracy and
late Al' news. Reward.
FOR SALE
PETUNIAS —6c each if you
don't buy them they'll go to
pot.
DECORATED cookies, two for 5c
each. Half-baked cakes, knock
out punch, and nuts with bolts on
the half shell. Sounds screwy.
PIG that writes with invisible
oink. We keep him pened up.
His father's a bore.
END of the rope that Froth has
come to—cheap—ya it is. Call
Froth office before 3 a.m.
BRAND new iron to do depress
ing jobs. Call housewife in
Grand Central Station, Lewis
town.
TWO charters to Bob Harrison's
Ovaltine Club.
WANTED
MEN—to fight battle of Bunker
Hill over again. It wasn't fought
on the level. They had a hill of a
lot of trouble.
RIDERS to the sunny South, try
ing to get rid of cold shoulder
and cool head.
RANDEKERCHIEF for wind to
blow in. Call Cy Clone, 6606
Bellefonte.
SHOWERS installed at the Tub,
so hotdoggers can get all wash
ed up sooner.
ONE pair of heavy boots so I
wont stub my toe when I kick
the bucket. Call Desperate, 676.
FOR RENT
SET of golf clubs without bag.
You'll have to find your own
coed.
50 apartments with running
water ,air conditioning and sun
porches for families with sons.
Not expensive at all.
Only victrola in town that breaks
records without a stop watch.
Stop in and watch it.
QUIET shoe —won't talk much,
tongue tied, bless its soul. Call
Oxford, size 6.
MISCELLANEOUS
WATCH for Announccement of
Penn State Coed of 1938. Ev
erybody knows about it. See
Froth in 3 weeks.
THE MOON is full after it
spends its last quarter if it buys
a submarine sandwich.
DID have jump rope for sale, but
let's skip it, wouldn't want to
rope you into anything, but if you
change your mind, call Collegian
News Editor.
SEE the Penn State horse show.
Wear saddle shoes and a rain
coat. Be at the barns at half past
the corner and wait a bit. For
further information call the
Punk, Nittany Dorms.
WILL person who swapped top-
IMPORTED
LONDON RECORDS
Your favorite records includ
ing "Now Is the Hour," sung
by Gracie Fields. Also the
latest pops, western and nov
elty tunes anti juin') time.
London record album s include
"Blue Danube," "Wandering
Minstrel," "FingerbutAin'" and
"The Street Singer."
Hear these records today at—
THE HARMONY SHOP
135 S. Frazier St.
'Get a Racket,' Says Dean
"Only cockers work for a liv
ing," said Dean Trublu of the
School of Delinquency in an in
terview this morning. When ask
ed how to have an income with
out work, the Dean suggested that
students should quit school and
get into a good racket.
"There are any number of
good deals lying around waiting
for some smart student to muscle
in on," the dean said. "State Col
lege needs a god numbers racket,
a couple of bookmakers, and two
or three floating crap games. The
basement of Ath Hall would be a
good place for crap game."
"Rum running from Bellefonte
has provide da few bucks in the
past and should continue to do
so,' Trublu said. "A protection
Packet would probably go over
big with the State College mer
chants."
"As an after thought, the dean
^.dded, "the student who starts a
good burlesque show, with an all
:oed cast will probably make a
"ortune."
ing classical stories for the Daily
2 ollision are urged to Auditor Os
`arosky in the Collision office any
ay except Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or
Thturday between 10 and 11.
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better to smoke!
CALL Dui
FOR I HI
THE DAILY COLLEGIAN, STATE COLLEGE, PENNSYLVANIA
Seniors, Juniors
Farmed-Out in Fa
So that there'will be room for
the thousands of new sophomores
that will attend the College in the
Silliam H. Woefman. Collette
registrar, stated yesterday that
a]l seniors and juniors will be
farmed out.
Mr. Woofman joyfully stated
that all upperclassmen. and wom
en too, should send their apt:lnca
tions in to his office before today
so that they can have their choice
of off-campus colleges. Those still
available are, the Harlingen Home
Economics School for Young Men.
Harlingen. Texas: Albuquerque
School of Minors, Memphis. Tenn.:
and Sa • cremento School for Stub
born Seniors. Kalamazoo. Mich.
"It is unfortunate," he said,
"but the College Extension Cen
ter in Moscow has been closed be
cause of subversive activities that
have been going on. We hope that
the Muskovite Kampus Kops will
be able to deal with the situation
so that our upperclassmen can
complete their liberal education."
is so much
TRY A PACK .. . TODAY
College Razes Ratty Schwab
Dismantlement of Schwab Au
ditorium commences today fol
lowing a unanimous decision of
the Board of Trustees to tear it
down as the only means of ridding
it of the strange breed of rats
with which it is infested.
The parts of the building will
be shipped to Loretto. Pa.. to be
reassem'lled on the site of the
late Charles M. Schwab's man
sion.
President Milholland expressed
his regret over the necessity but
said it was the only thing to be
done under the circumstances.
"Otherwise." Milholland em
phasized. "the plague will spread
uncontrolled to other buildings
and may make necessary an ex
tended recess."
Nationally-famous rat extermi
nators have been unable to cope
with the unusual species of rat
infesting Schwab d which scientists
call "Inhumanus miceus."
Presence of rats in Schwab was
first determined when one of the
rats bit a Thespian practicing an
act called the "Ple-Eyed Piper of
Hamlet." The ill-fated actor is re
cuperating at the College Infamy.
Prof. Paidman Portend. "The
stage manager has to do all the
work anymore."
PHILIP MORRIS offers the smoker an extra
benefit found in no other cigarette. For PHILIP
MORRIS is the ONE, the ONLY cigarette recog
nized by leading nose and throat specialists as
definitel less irritatin .
Remember: Less irritation means more
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PHILIP MORRIS.
RBIS
THURSDAY. APRIL 1, 1948
Sartre—
(Continued from page one)
well set," according to Freder
ick, but final production depends
on the outcome of pending postal
matches for the varsity rifle
team.
"It seems that the results from
the Bolivia U. match, and the
Tanganyika Tech shoot have not
been received," he explained.
"Consequently, we can't build our
$500,000 stage until we're abso
lutely sure they won't have a
rematch because of a tie."
The play will be produced
without the use of customary set
tings, he said, which will necessi..
tae he USE. of xpnsiv hangings,
ailed curains.
The appointment of Sartre has
occasioned some comment from
other members of the production
staff, coming as it does, on the
heels of announcement by C. Ar
tie Kligtow, dramatics, radio, and
motion picture science dean, that
Players budget will be charply
curtailed in ordes to increase
compensation on construction
make-up crews.
"Now I suppose I'll have to
make the prompt book," bitched
PHILIP