•)?AGE TWO-
THE COLLEGIAN
'Tar A Better Penn State"
Established 1940. Successor to the Penn State Colleg
ian, established 1904. and the Free Lance, established
-11177.
; Published every Tuesday and Friday morning dur
ing the regular Coltege year by the staff of the Daily
Collegian of the Pennsylvania State College. Entered as
teo.ond class matter July !’. 1934, at the State College, Pa.,
Post Office under the act of March 8, 1879.
Subscriptions by mail at $1 a semester.
Editor-la-CMeS Business Manager
l Woodeme Bel Mary Louise Dav«ey
1 Bfaiaaging Editor Advertising Manager
Peggie Weaver Rosemary Ghantous
EDCTOKSAL STAFF
News Editor ..
Women’s Editor
Feature Editor .
SpovLs Editor ..
.Senior Board ..
Renior Board ... .
Assistant Advertising Managers
Sally Holstrum.
Advertising Assistants. ..Dorothy Leibovitz, Ria Hanzlick
•luoj/n- Board Larry Foster, Kny Krel 1, Lynette Lund*
nui:st. Caroline ManvUle, Loin Marks, Su7.nnne Mc-
Cauley, David Nalven. Doru Stowe, OwennetU Tim.
mis, Jane Wolbarst.
STAFF THIS ISSUE
rowing Kditor
>}cisra Irld.itor
Oor-y Editors
Key-Campus Merger
Tonight the Campus and Key parties will meet
together to discuss whether or not they want to
merge. The combination of these two political
parties does not mean a mere changing of name,
but upon the, decision rests the future of student
government at the College.
Collegian strongly opposes the merger. Primar
ily, because if Key swings to Campus, politics will
lie -back on the old status of fraternities vs. inde
pendents. Social status has absolutely no connec
tion with politics, but the merger would force the
segregation of the two groups. This segregation
would not only hinder politics, but might also spell
eventual defeat of the Greek societies on the Penn
State campus. , -
The Campus party has everything to gain from
this proposed merger, while the Key clique has
everything to lose. The newly-reorganized Cam
pus party has not yet established itself in Penn
Sta.te politics. On the other hand, the Key party
won the majority of the fall elections, as well as
many others during the war, and would be hand-'
mg over thi s power if it swings to Campus.
The entire student body is invited to the meet
ing tonight, but the decision will be made by Key
members only. Collegian urges Key clique mem
bers to think twice before they vote, because their
decision will be felt in student government long
after they have been graduated from the College.
-Deadwood Im CaMnet
•Recent cabinet meetings .have shown the in
creasing need for a weeding out of the dead-wood
cx-officio members that participate in cabinet
meetings. Such members have been prone to in
troduce asinine, motions, useless suggestions and
worthless trivia that tends to clog and hamper the
workings of a democratic organization.
A motion introduced recently shows such lack
Of foresight and planning that it deserves to be
-brought to the attention of the student body. It
was moved that Cabinet investigate, the possibili
ties of having the United States Postal Service re
vise, their delivery schedules so that .students
would have their mail delivered three times a day,
peven days a week.
It is high time that certain crusading individ
ualists realize that it is the function of Cabinet to
-deal only with affairs related- to the student body
and the administration, and not. attempt to med
dle in the workings of a department of our Fed
eral government. G.RS,
NCHORAGE COFFEE SHOP
STEMS ..... ■
CHOPS . . .'
SEAFOOD .
DATERIHHR TO BANQUETS /AIM 1 PRIVATE PARTIES'
Gloria Nerenberg
... Patricia Turk
Mervin Will
George Sample
Barbara Ingraham, Audrey Ryback
Phyllis Deal
Dorothy Leibovitz,
—. Suzanne McCauley
, A-S Jackson 1 Reid
. -Mer.vin Wilf. David Nalven
2 i 0 W. ©©leg®. A
Perm Statements
Have you tried calling home recently? (collect
of course.) The telephone operators are so so plea
sant, but they sweetly inform you that, "Pop, I
need ten bucks” isn’t an emergency, and your call
can not go through. Suggestion—you can always
wire collect.
The Little Man Who Wasn't There
It happened at the Alpha Sigma Phi house. The
afternoon’s quiet was broken by that sweet sound
of the telephone. Marie Nemrod answered to find
her fiance calling her from Nova Scotia while his
shop docked there. It was a collect call, so Marie
collected enough change from all available friends
to pay the charges. She started'to deposit the coins
one by one, as excited coeds dashed in and out of
the phone booth with more nickels, dimes, and
quarters. Filially the change was all in and Marie
anxiously waited for the operator’s go-ahead sig
nal. Then a strange thing happened, Marie’s smile
faded, she hung up the phone, and broke the sad
news to her waiting.friends: “He’s gone. His ship
pulled out before he could wait for me to deposit
the money.”
Casey Cashes In
Station WMAJ’s roving reporter hit the right
man this time. And our own Jim Casey was the
recipient of two dinners at the Corner Room for
giving the correct answer to the question of the
day. The question— “What’ year did the Corner
Room open?” The answer—l92s.
Finders Keepers
A book-weary liberal arts student stumbled out
onto the mall in front of iSparks after a tough blue
book. 'Starting down the mall, he noticed in front
of Carnegie two tiny black spats on the Walk.
Knowing he was in bad shape after his bluebook,
he decided he was seeing things. But the black
spots grew larger and larger. He hurried to see
what they 'could be. Arriving at the spot he found
two black Rubbers side by side facing. down the
Mall,'as though someone had stepped, right out of
them. Quickly he looked around, and when no
one was watching, slipped his feet, into the rub
bers. They fit. So our hero waited casually down
to the Corner Room’with his newly acquired pair
of rubbers which he needed badly anyhow.
NoAnswer
The Kappa house was out Of communication,
with the outside world for one fateful night last
week. One of its more figure-conscious occupants
was performing her daily reducing exercises—
holding on to the second floor banister and kick
ing. A dutiful sister picked up, the phone to call
her parents. But she picked it up at the wrong mo
ment. For just .as she lifted it, the reducing Kappa
gave a particularly vicious kick which connected
with the wire and pulled the entire phone, out of
the wall. Amidst infuriated looks from her sisters
who were missing their nightly calls; she tried to'
restore the connection. But all in vain—the phone
was nil, and the repair man. disgustedly put in a
new cord the next morning.
Cjhem 20 Blues
Courtesy of two coeds who prefer to be known
as Clover and Alfala. • ,
“I'll be there with,. Hayes, always..
In an awful daze, always
Ever in the la b ;
Better grades to nab
Still I’m there to gab, always, always
Even though I care, always
Still the failure’s there* always .
I will never be
She who makes a three. .....
For it’s Hayes and me, always.
SANDWICHES
THE COLLEGIAN
—PEGGIE WEAVER
A Lean and Hungry Look
Dear Brutus: , f!|gjg
La st Saturday, as grounds and buildings was drawing the shades
of night, a furtive figure crept down College avenue. It was-a man,
collar pulled high, hat pulled low, hurrying to a rendezvous made many
weeks before. *
Suddenly an'axe whipped past his head and chunked into a pass
erby. The passerby gurgled twice and slumped to. the . sidewalk.
The sinister, nervous man
squawked once, lurched forward,
and fell into the gutter. He arose
rapidly, groped blindly around the
corner, tripped down the flight of
steps, pushed open the door . . .
and there I was amid the bright
fights of. the Skeller.
Why was I hiding, starting at
a shadow, screaminng at cold
blooded murder, trembling at the
footstep, behind me in .the night?
Why? Because I was afraid . ; .
afraid of the vengeance of The
Bloody Six! .
Yes, for weeks messages had
been mysteriously appearing on
my desk warning me of dire
things. But even though they’d
been scrawled in gore I ignored
them till Saturday. It was that
afternoon I came across a severed
human foot in ' the right hand
drawer of the clothespress where
I hide by Southern Comfort.
When the editor saw me throw
away a bottle, she knew some
thing was wrong. Covering me
with her six gun, she ordered me
from the office. I passed through
that doort a shattered and brpken
man. There was only one hope,
that my faithful friends (of which
there are many) would help-me. I
planned rapidly as a hurried to
my tryst.
.Waiting for me under the third
table: in the den of sin were, my
trusted, agents, Spraddle-Legs
Deeghan and his moll, Yay Veri
ily. Spraddle-Legs was already
two thirds coked, but he thinks
better that way—looks better, tocii
Seeing me, he proffered the com
munal pitcher which at the time
was empty, natuarlly. Impatient
ly I struck-it from hl s Rand and'
scored a perfect ringer over the
head of an unfortunate engineer
crawling “by. r ' . " ,
“Geeze, boss, that must be'strong
stuff,” offered the Deegh, fondly
caressing. Miss Verily-to aid his
thought.- processes. Miss V.-/gently
put two. fingers-in- his eyes and
shoved-him quietly over into the
corner where he screamed wildly
for; a minute or two till someone
stepped on his head
“I could' go for you in a big
way, boss,” whispered Yay, slow
ly sliding nearer across the floor.
Her shifty eyes flashed, fire as she
backed me further under the tab
le.
“You do things to me,” she mur
mer.ed, “Yes, do things to. me!”
I couldn’t let her carry out her
The Corn
TUESDAY MORNING, JANUARY 15, 194®.
inhuman Soc. 4 schemes on me.
So, with a terrible effort of will
I struggled up into a seat in that
third booth. And who would you.
guess was there to greet me?
: Barclay Manners, archdeacon of
The (Bloody Six, smiled a threat
of welcome. No one spoke—they
because they ,we're slightly stewed.*
I . because I was slightly nervous.
Old “Bar” _ livened things up by
bringing his axe down on my
trembling-hand. He. only hacked
off one' finger, but that was
enough. . . .■• ,
■ In my anger I arose, somewhat
hastily, of course, and beaned him
with a waiter who was passing by.
The waiter gurgled twice and
slumped to' the floor. I turned and
fled towards, the’ dispensary, all
the while screaming, “Corpsmen!
Corpsman!”
T haven’t been back to get that
finger I left on the table down
there! And you know, Brutus old
bean, that brings up an awfully
interesting question:— >
Just who do you think will get
the finger next? —Cassius
28 GOLD- MED ALS
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