' fPAOE TWO
THE -COLLEGIAN
"For A Setter Penn Stata"
Established 1940. Successor to the Penn State Colleg
'lnn, established 1904, and the Free Lance, established
•I 077.
Published every Tuesday and Friday morning dur
ing the regular College year by the sta££ o£ the Daily
Collegian of the Pennsylvania State College. Entered as
second class matter July !i, 1934. at the State College, Pa.,
Post Office under the act o£ March 8, 1879.
Subscriptions by mail at $1 a semester
mef»rtts*i2Nnro i ? oi» wAnwAi. Aoyi2*nj u«.
National Advertising Service, fciv
t Co/lcsc Publishers llepresentaUte ®
AHO MADIGOH AVU. ® NEW Yon* N V
Chicago • nofiTMM • Lcn awcki.r j • 3am r.v.M; :o
Editor-In-CMef Business Manager
.( Woodene Bell Mary Louise Bayey
| Managing Editor Advertising Manager
Peggie Weaver IRosennary Gfaamtoius
EDiTOIUAL STAFF
News Editor ..
Women's Editor
feature Editor
Sports Editor .
Senior Board ~
Barbara Ingraham, Audrey Ryback
Junior Board Larry Foster, Kay Knell, Lynette Lurul
quist, Caroline Manville, Lois Marks, Suzanne Mc-
Cauley, David Nalven, Doris Stowe, Gwenneth Tim
mis, Jane Wolbarst.
•Reporters Kay Badollet, Frank Davis, Arlene Green,
Jfilsie Harwitz, ;MarUynn 'Jacobson, A/S Fred Keeker,
Leo Komfeld. Shirley Lyon, Elaine Mittelman, Kay
McCormick, A7S Jack Reid, Nancy Sherriff, Lucy
Seifinsr, jßuth Tiahcrman.
Graduate Counselor
AO.VHttTISiNG STAFF
Senior 'Board
Assistant Advertising Managers
Sally Holstrum.
Advertising Assistants.. iDorothy Leibovitz, Ria Hanzlick
Circulation Manager Selma.Sabel
STAFF THIS ISSUE
•Managing Editor
Copy Editors ...
•"News .Editor
Defense Df Batmen
It is. one of the great fallacies of the Ameri
can public to sit back-and criticize .while making
•no attempt to remedy the subject of their criti
cism. The Penn. State student body is no except
ion. <Much has .been said, and little done about
the failure to enforce freshman customs. Hat
'men have born the brunt of the criticism but a
glance at the figures will show the fault lies with
the student body. In 1942 the active hatmen on
campus numbered, nearly 150, made up of such
•groups as Parmi Nous, Skull and Bones, Druids,
Friars, and Blue Key. It was their job to help
enforce customs on 1500 freshmen. Today the
active hatmen number 17, approximately one
tenth as many as 1942, but they are still expected
to enforce the customs on the same number of
freshmen. The figures speak for themselves, the
•Penn State student body has failed to cope with
one of its most elementary problems.
PENN STATE'S NEWEST
This new and conveniently located shop brings you the.
last word in exclusive men’s attire. Here you find original
designs at a price suitable to the budget of every student.
Outstanding clothes are an asset to any student ! ! !
ATTENTIONS
Bwy Gift Ceirtifmcates Mr
Yaiu/r Mends
A /Move// Christmas Gift 1 '!
Hurs Men Shop
Gloria Neretiberg
... Patricia Turk
Mervin Wilf
.. George Sample
Louis Bell
Phyllis Deal
Dorothy Leibovitz,
Audrey Ryback
Ruth Tisherman, Jane Woibarst
Frank Davis
—GRS
As New 4s The
114 E. Collage^Avenue.
Pern Statements
By PEGGIE WEAVER
Have a little snow? Are you dreaming’ of a
white Christmas? Only 17 days until that promis
ed vacation day, so stick around here, and you’ll
no doubt forget all about your dream. A word to
newcomers to State College climate —cheer up,
the snow is always gone by May 1.
ASTP FinaJe
The ASTP's left as they came, with no fanfare
and no complaints. But we’ll miss them, and we
hope they'll miss us. Can’t miss this chance to
print a final story about the “dogfaces.” A frosh
coed, resigned to standing in lines, patiently
stepped into a seemingly unending one which she
thought must be important. After waiting a half
hour she nervously noted that there were a lot of
uniforms in front and in back of her. [Finally
nearing the head of the line, she found she was
next in a row of ASTP’s handing in their over
shoes.
IFflorida Cure
On the premise that Penn State women look
slightly beat, the girls have instituted a coed sun
lamp treatment. Treatments are by appointment,
only, and the charge is 25 cents for six minutes
■plus a rubdown. Their slogan—“ You can be
healthy, too.” Six coeds are regular customers,;
■but the girls expect a rush before vacation.
Order of the Day
The NROTC boys have bfeen dreaming up some;
weird station memos: We were told about one
ordering that “all trainees are ito report to the
infirmary for vivisection between 1 and 1:30 p.
m,;” and another that stated;' “It has come to the,
attention of the commanding'.officer that
hate been smiling. Any trainee seen smiling will
report to jsick bay.”,
Success Formula w
• (Professor R. ;E. Dengler from the Greek De
partment handed this bit of wisdom to his stud
ents as the key to health, wealth and happiness:
Early to bed,
Early to rise, .. -. .
Work like , hell, ~
And advertise. - '
Ignorance Is Bliss
■A coed sat in her fourth, floor room in Atherton
Saturday night waiting for her date. Other girls
lounged around on the bed and floor helping her
pass the tune. Suddenly there was a knock. “Who
is it?” asked the coed, and a masculine voice re
plied, “Are you ready?” It was her date, a green
frosli, who didn’t know men were not allowed
above the first floor.
Prof: I won’t lecture until the class settles
down. ;
Voice: Sleep it off, old man.
Come In And See The New Bair!'! Jacks':.
Smart and Practical For Everyday Osj.
THE COLLEGIAN
A Lean and Hungry Look
Dear Brutus
Among the least publicized of Penn State’s virtues is its weather.
Of course, this merit is purely a medical view point of the cold,
clammy climate that annually throws the. non-hibernating natives of
the Nittany Valley into the hands of the pill-dispensing specialists.
Being a fairly normal .person, I succumbed to the dread local
malady, Galloping Consumption or Cemetery Cough. This latter name
is in memoriam to those less har
dy sufferers who now use a tomb
stone for a pillow. After being of
ficially pronounced sick by the
house pre-med, who takes a fiend
ish delight in using thermometers
other than the oral type, I start
ed the trek to the dispensary.
■ Ah, the dispensary, the protec
tor of the ailing, the infirm, and
the students who seek to nullify
the classes they cut. As the pla
gue-ridden population was partic
ularly heavy that day, I sat down
to read the magazines provided
for waiting patrons. I was lucky
to find a recent issue of the Police
Gazette, August 1909. The pictures
in it raised my temperature a few
degrees. Two hours later my name
wa s called, and I went into a back
room where an alluring female
dressed in white led me to a dark :
corner, sat down- beside me, press
ed her warm hand in mine, and.
asked me to open my mouth. I
first thought , that 1 had somehow
wandered into a sorority house,
and eagerly obeyed. iLittle did
my fevered brain realize that she
was only a nurse taking my pulse
and temperature. • -
While waiting, (for a change) for
. the -doctor to come in, I was puzz
led by signs on the wall reading;
“Let Underwood Do Your Under
taking,” “Underwood the Reliable
Undertaker," and- “Make Your
Last Trip via Underwood, the
Master Undertaker:” What could
they mean? 1 later found out that;
Mr. Underwood is the doctor’s
brother-in-law, and that thef me
dic gets a 10 par cent kickback
for his “talent scouting.” " !
• I finally walked into the doc-
Back In Mufti
'Dreadfully long minutes -of un
certainty and suspense' preceded
the crash landing they made in a
desolate part of Jugoslavia near
the Alps. Whether German or Al
lied soldiers occupied the emer
gency air field was the question
that bothered the crew members of
the 13-2-1 “Just for Laughs.”
The twisted wreckage came to
a jarring stop amid a cloud of snow
and dirt. The emergency hatch was
flung open and the plane’s ten
'crewmen cralwled out. What they
saw startled them.
A German air officer’s cap top
ped her '6-foot 200-pound frame.
With, long, sure, strides she. ap
proached the plane, keeping the
crew covered with an American
made sub-machine gun. Strapped
to her hips was a pair of German
for the Perfect
Gift . . .
Wood ering'sFioral Gardens
117 E. Beaver
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1945
tor’s office, with niy face flushed
with fever, coughing like a con
sumptive, and shivering from
chills. The vet, I mean the MD,
told me to put my tongue out and
then said, “Son, you have a very
bad case of athlete’s feet, I’m
afraid we’ll have to amputate.”
But after putting on his glasses
so he could see me, he diagnosed
my -case as a rare French disease,
LaGrippe, and ordered me to the
infirmary.
Ah, the infirmary, the house of
malnutrition. It seems that some
potato growers built this pastoral
sanitorium, and so, to repay them
for their kindness, the only food
served is potatoes. Of course, you
can have french fried, mashed, or
other varieties, but the name giv
en to this virus villa, “Pelagra
Place,” still continues. I hate po
tatoes.
I was greeted.at the door by .the
warden, or rather the favorite
nurse of the institution, Miss
Chubby. After, being at the in
firmary for a number of years and
subsisting on its potato diet, .she
acquired this name automatically.
In fact she even loks like a pomme
de terre. '
After spending a few starving
days in Pelegra- Palace, - existing
solely; on the food that my fra
ternity-brothers gmuggledinto me,
I was cured. No longer did I have
La Grippe; I-had pneumonia.
So the moral of this story is, ,i£
-you’re sick, stay in bed and write
your will. It makes no difference.
• —^Cassius..
P. S. Lend me a buck for some
vitamin pills. ’’
revolvers; lhand (grenades were at
tached to the 'belt.
Presently, a Jugoslavian boy
about 14 approached the plane. He
.spoke a little German that' he had
learned while with a forteed labor
group in Germany.
Lieutenant Ralph Lewis, nose
turret navigator- on the crashed
B-24, “Just for Laughs,” spoke to
the boy in German.
Under -cover of darkness the fen
Americans made good their escape.
They were guided to the icoast of
the Adriatic Sea, and (from there
they were taken down the coast in
a fishing boat to a small British
held air. field. The next day -they
were flown back to their base by
American C-74’s.
Ralph Lewis, now an Industrial
Engineering major at Penn State,
flew with, the isth' Air Force
through, four campaigns. Probably
his biggest' job came during the
■battle ;of the Poe Valley. While his
crew thought he was at rest camp,'
Lewis was secretly flown to the
Poe Valley. There he was assigned
do do reconnaissance work flying
aboard a ‘Droop Snoop” P-3 1 ?
—(LARRY FOSTER
i v ; ... .. .., •• / f
Phone 2045