PAGE FQUR' •:
A Lean, and Hungry Look
Dear ‘Brutus:
The orgy is over; only fiendish memories remain in my . de
bauched mind. I promised myself that my inebriated Condition will
never reoccur, at least until the next (Pitt game.
I left for the city of soot and smoke after cutting my 11 o’clock
on Wednesday. I wouldn’t say that we were traveling fast, but the
midget used as a radiator cap on
the flivver wag singing “Nearer
My God to Thee.” I only slowed
down to pick up some- itinerant
Penn Staters that were lined up
along the highway throwing pea
nuts over their shoulders.
Headquarters for the wild week
end was the William Penn Hotel.
If Billy knew what went on there
he would have turned over in his
.grave. While I registered, the 17
other fellows who were to share,
the cubicle with me cased the
joint and reported the bar just
down the corridor.
Not knowing what to do first,
we decided to'have another drink
before venturing-out into the cold.
We then closed the window and
resumed action- to aleviate the
overcoming thirst that results from
living in a dry town.
Time for dinner-had come, and
after considerable, arm-twisting
and hair-pulling, my buddies
snatched the bottle from my hands
and led me to the elevator. The
elevator: door opened, and there
staring me in-the face was a fam
ily of guinea pigs, two rabbits,
and a trained seal. I was just
about to take the oath when some
one told me that there was a
magicians convention in the hotel.
By the time we reached the lobby,
rabbits were pushing.me out the
door. Evidently, these were not
trained rabbits.
As it was too early in the af
ternoon to “partake,” I went to
the game. It was so cold that
one half-soused character tried to
warm his freezing feet by pouring
a fifth of Schenley’s on them.
What a waste-of good liquor;
Back In Mufti
Many awards for achievement were given during World War 11,
but the Navy Cross -that was awarded to Lt. Joseph Eisenhuth is
representative of one of. the turning points of the Pacific war.
Lieutenant Eisenhuth, -pilot of a Curtis Helldiver, was covering.'
American troops during the invasion of the Philippines. • A large
Japanese fleet was moving toward Leyte, with orders to wipe out the
new landing when Eisenhuth’s or
ders to attack came. “There were
comparatively iew Jap planes to
bother us but the AA fire was
just about the heaviest I‘d ever
seen,” he said.
Picking a large aircraft carrier
as his target, Eisenhuth dived and
released his bombs. A direct hit
was scored and the carrier soon
sank.
After the smoke of battle had
cleared and the American pilots
had returned to base, it was re
vealed that two battleships, four
carriers, six heavy cruisers and
two light cruisers were at the bot
tom of the ocean. The back of the
Jap fleet and of all Jap naval re
sistance had been-broken!
JUST A MINUTE
... is ail you need
at KEELER’S to find
what you want.
IBOOKS
smirnoiMiismY
FOUNTAIN PENS
SCHOOL SUPPLIES
lar-p-riy np’C!
xJZjjLlljlJLlJtllL lO
what stinking feet; what a game.
I wouldn’t say that the referee,
was partial to Pitt, but after the
final gun he came running off the
field singing “Hail to Pitt.”
By now a blood, test would re
veal 10 per cent hemoglobin and
90 pea- cent alcohol, but I was not
deterred. Carrying my own glass,
ice cubes, and chaser, liquid dy
namite was taget for tonight. Not
knowing where all the parties
were, I asked a house dectective
who referred me. to the elevator
operators. It seems that his list
was only partially complete. .
After - futilely running around
halls, knocking on doors and turn
ing on lights, I devised the plan
of shadowing the room service
boys who were carrying alcoholic
accessories to thirsty patrons. The
success of my strategy was evi
denced by the wake of empty bot
tles I left behind.
Ye Gods I forgot about the date
I left -somewhere on the fifth floor.
I found the.room, but I had to
get a-bulldozer to push the in
toxicated inhabitants, bottles,
butts, and fugitives from the Fire
men’s Ball (who slid down the
pole from the 17th floor) to one
side to find her. And there she
was, in her sweet innocence, drap
ed around a clothes pole disguised
as a mink coat.
The rest of my stay is a com
plete -blank, some fraternity man
slipped me a glass of water and
I passed out. (Must have been a
sober engineer.
—Cassius.
_ P. S.-i-Lend me ten cents for
some aspirin.
The Lieutenant, holder of three,
air medals and veteran of 54 miss
ions, was discharged from service
in September and is now studying
aeronautical engineering at the
College.
Accompanying Lt. Joseph Eis
enhuth “back to school” was his
elder brother, former army lieu
tenant, Harry Eisenhuth. The lat
ter, a veteran of some 30 odd miss
ions as navigator with the Sev
enth Air Force in the Pacific, is
the recipient of two DFC’s for
“outstanding achievement in aer
ial flight” and four air medals.
He returned to the College as a
fifth semester chemistry major, •
Howie Back,
THE COIiSSIAN
Penn Statements
By PEGGIE WEAVER
We’ve been getting queries all week about a
front page story consisting of “the sun rose today,”
which appeared in the last issue. Here’s the
story—<Mr. “Bill” Ulerich, journ 27 prof and edi
tor of the Centre Daily Times, has for years been
trying to get some brave Collegianite to run a
one line story. (Mr. Ulerich was even rash
enough to offer a steak dinner to the reporter who
could persuade the managing editor on issue to
run the story. Last week his bluff was called,
and one steak dinner is coming up. The problem
is—nobody can claim the steak for himself be
cause the kids collaborated on the Squibb, so
everyone gats a bite.
Postwar Housing
A desolate freshman is wandering around
campus. He hasn’t been to his class yet,,
and he has heard rumors of a coming bluebook.
He’s asked multitudes of people from eighth sem
ester seniors to deans for help in finding his
class. But he’s still hunting, because no one can
direct him to TO MWF Building.
Last Semester's Dirt
. Coeds from one of the local Greek houses
awoke one morning to find that their favorite
janitor, who always arrived punctually between
7 and 7:20 a. m., to begin slamming doors and
throwing suitcases downstairs, had deserted them.
As they took off for their 8 o’clocks they noticed
a new addition to the staff who shouted after
them, “You girls can tell the guy who works here
regularly that I cleaned out last semester’s dirt.”
it’s more exciting because it’s true \
Get your December fr«e t your
favorite newsstand now
HAS FOOTBALL LOST ITS KIC
Knute Rockne said, “Give me a good* reli
able punter, and I won’t worry about my
offense." Can’t today’s football players kick?
Why 13 Lou Little a little sad? Maybe he
remembers when guys really could boot the
pigskin—l 7 field goals in one game! A 63-
yard drop kick for a field goal! 97 points*
scored by a player who was never officially
in the game! Only 3 field goals missed in
two years of college football! How does
■today stack up? Read this true ..
sport, tinnier.... Leather-Socking Tales
by Gordon M. Alkint
Flames on the Border
mm yqur own business?
You can start it for peanuts, says
Minnesota’s Stubborn Swede. Ho par
layed a $8 a week failure into a
$7,500,000 a year success in 11 yeiirs.
“Money's all around you, sitting and
wistfully waiting to fall In lovo with
your idea’’—that’s what he says. It makes
sense, in this latest of the popular true.
Adventures in Business . . .
Farmer's Friend
by Chart** Samuel*
Watch for the January me
on sale December 12, featuring
one of the greatest stories of
♦his war or any war-" Pappy"
Boyington's Own Story! -j
by Copt. Achmad Abdullah
Established 1940. Successor to the Penn State Colleg-
J£*}» established 1904, and the Free Lance, established
1877. ' n
Published every Tuesday and Friday morning dur
ing the regular College year by the staff of the'Dally
Collegian of the Pennsylvania State College. Entered as
second class matter July 5, 1934; at the State College, Pa.,
Post Office under the act of March 8, 1879.
Subscriptions by mail ait $1 a semester.
Editor-In-Chief Business Manager
Woodene Bell Mary Louise Davey
Managing Editor Advertising Manager -
Peggie Weaver Rosemary Ghantous
News Editor Gloria Ner enberg
Women's Editor Patricia Turk
Feature Editor Mervin Wilf
Sports Editor George Sample
Senior Board Barbara Ingraham, Audrey Ryback
Junior Board Larry. Foster* Kay Knell, Lynette Lund-'
quist, Caroline Manville, Loib Marks, Suzanne Mc-
Cauley, David -Nalven, Doris Stowe, Gwenneth Tbu
rn is, Jane Wolbarst.
Reporters Kay Badollet, Frank Davis/ Arlene Green,
. Blsie Hatwitz, Marilynn Jacobson, A/S Fred Keeker,
• Deo Komfeld, Shirley Lyon, Blaine Mittetmair, Kay
McCormick,- A/S Jack Reid, Nancy Sberriff, Lucy
Setting, Ruth Tisherman. .
Graduate Counselor
Senior Board Phyllis Deal
Assistant Advertising Managers....'. Dorothy Leibovitz,
Sally Holstrum.
Managing Editor
Copy Editor
News Editor
RRY,
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before
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of the,
incers,
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In his
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it true
17 Seconds to Live
by Commander Harold B. Say, l/SNft
PSim Webb did ju,
but Casey Jones
didn't. He rode t<
glory on old 382. You’ve
sung the song about him. The song is wrong,
you know. Set yourself straight on
most famous “hoghead”—here’s the r inlet
low-down... i
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1945
THE COLLEGIAN
"For A Better Penn State"
EDITORIAL STAFF
ADVERTISING. STAFF
STAFF THIS ISSUE
HALF FISH, HALF NUTS,
THEY CMIEO 'EM
You "never heard much-about
ie UDT till after the Japs sur
ered, did y ou? They were the
'ho ‘‘fought the war in swim ■
Their story was one of our
i. Now it’s out— toldfrora-the;',
true- exclusive , ~
Louis Bell
George Sample
... Larry ■ Foster
Kay McCormick