Page Two
PENN STATE COIF EGIAN
Successor to The Free Lance. established 1857
Pull!!shed semi meekly during the College sear, except
on halithos Id stud. nts of The Pentedlranla State College.
In the interHt of the College the students, faculty. alumni,
and fr ends
Robert H Lane '4l
___Wllllnm E Fowler '4l
E bake II Rickel '4l
Itonimint. Fidler Thri it 1411..
Nrvr Editor Th .1 1011.• ___
Works 1.4110 I. Cill•ir
Entered nu uerond,lnus matter Jul) 5 1914, W the pout
°Rice w State College Ma, under the net of hlerreh 3. 1879
Tuesday, February 6, 1940
SEMESTER PINK SLIP
A NEW SEMESTER has dawned. Thou
sanus have registered. Hundreds will be
:iittr,criminately dismissed from classes as
the perennial "Not Enough Seats" bellows
go out.
Is there no fairer method, the Collegian
asks, than the present one which allows the
instructor to thumb through the cards and
arbitrarily pass sentence on those who are
to stay in the course and those who are not
to stay?
Can there be no yardstick of scholastic
average besides the usual standard of sen
iority to give students the pink slip in any
course? „11a it not possible, the Collegian
asks, for the instructor to make a more
thorough investigation concerning indivi
dual students, their need for the course, its
value to them?
A mere few minutes exti a time on the
part of every instructor confronted with
the problem of over-crowded classrooms
would:do much to relieve an undesirable sit
natumi.
FOR MEN ONLY
Is tfieie such an entity as the Penn State
Womin?
Is there affixed a trade mai k, a confin
ing label of characteristics to every young
lady who is listed in Hoffman's docket as a
Penn State Woman?
;
liVezve often heard the topic discussed
The Joys will invariably argue one way
Naturally, we're prejudiced.
VERDANT, alive and oh-so-naive—
Mar - y Jane enters Penn State when she's
17. Its so-o-o wonderful--collidge . all
the biys ... the trees ... womb ous Ag Hill.
Mary is from Smithville. She was sorta
gald to get away from home—heck, never
any elate (the few who were left in town
went:clut of town for theirs), her Ma insist
ing ocher being in bed by 10.30 and always
ucting so old-fashioned.
'Cohrse she fully realizes that except for a
hefty;torso, a pair of spaghetti-like legs and a
few pimples on her left cheek, she's pretty—
prettle enough for the Penn State men who are
hard upanyway 'cuz didn't Helen Anne-who
was-El-senior say there weren't enough to go
aeon e?
And so, wide-eyed Mary Jane enters
Penn-State.
Mary Jane doesn't change a bit. (Her
mothiir says so, too).
EuC what's this, MAry, where is that
awed: innocent face of yours? Why . . .
why C.. rouge! 'Nn lipstick! And Mmary!
A tight sweater . . . and Sins of Sins: a
sh . . - a short skirt!
And Mary; that cigarette looks so out of place
between your fingers Sure, all the girls are
doin' it and .. .' it's SMART . and it makes
you lbok sophisticated sipping on cokes and
spewing smoke : . but you're choking, Mary
..
ease don't put on the dog what would
your 'Mother . .
Yoare not ashamed of her, are you,
Mary! 'Course she's not polished like you
and rrlaybe.ifie says the wrong things, but
... sjie's a Mother, Mary ...
Don't curse like that; it isn't what the
best people-do, and you're one of the best
people ; aren't you? You know, the Bamma
Damnin Omegoshs ... best sorority on the
camp& ... you girls date fellows from the
Marimba Pew house only ...
Your Pop Wrote you last week, remember,
MaryZ Couldn't you cut down a tittle on ex
penser Say maybe not so many clothes and
less sßows .. just for a while .. It's tough
gom' at home, Mary. 'Course you want a pro
posal from Bill before he graduates, but if he
leallyDoves ya, Mary, clothes won't mean too
And speaking of Bill, Mary, couldn't
you sort of try to take him a little less for
grantid? Can't he ever ask you for a date
without your reminding him 'of the seven
you refused; and aren't you forgetting
those little important "thanks you's" when
he shows some little courtesy?
Do you shed your personality , while he's
around, assume your "cat" role when you
slink back into the egotistical glory of a
bunch :of 'self-righteous females who dis
cuss nothing but men day and night?
We could go on ad infinitum, Mary, but
you get the point, don't you?
We hope we haven't offended you. The
second; semester's begun. Now's just as
good a:time as any to take stock.
ARE YOU THE AVERAGE. PENN
STATEICO-ED?-E.R.
OLD MANIA
BULLETIN: AT THE TIME THIS WAS WRIT
TEN, DAVE MORGAN AND JEAN LAWRENCE
WERE GOING STEADY, BY THE TIME YOU
READ THIS, WHO KNOWS?'?
As a special service to those who are still
around after heeding Uncle Campy's advice to
exam-takers last week, Maniac today gives free
advisory service on various courses Thus you can
take advantage of knowledge heietofoi e gained
only through painful experience
MATHEMATICS—The fist thing that we sug
gest for Math courses is that you pray regularly
and fervently Another method is to have a grader
for a room-mate of the prof for a brew-mate ,
PSYCHOLOGY—Exams in most Psych courses
are true and false As the coin-flipping technique
has not been proved infallible, it is better to fig
ure out the obvious answer, then write down the
opposite one, as this is the basis of Psychology
anyway.
EDUCATION—In the School of Education you
are taught to teach by professors who were taught
how to teach you to teach So if you cannot learn
something with all this teaching, you deserve to
flunk.
ECONOMICS—These courses are relatively
snaps because finals consist of simple questions,
such as "What caused the depression , " Econ profs
are an argumentative lot and don't agree with
each other or with texts If you can prove that
the depression was caused by Mrs O'Leary's cow
kicking the lantern in 1891 you will get a 3 in
the course and your ideas will probably be used
as the basis foi a new $4 book by a Penn State
Ph 13 tptled higher and deeper)
HISTORY—These courses are tests of endur
ance and memory A vigorous training period be
fore bluebooks is recommended This training
should consist of writing like a bat outa heaven
for eight hours while at the same time trying to
remember who boi rowed your te‘tbook a month
ago It is wise to make all answers in bluebooks
voluminous and the writing blui red If you write
long enough, you may hit on the sight answer or
the prof may get disgusted and give you the bene
fit of the doubt
COMMERCE—The secret of success in Comm
courses is to be able to show by an unlimited
amount of statistics that business is in a helluva
condition and yet manage to show up with a siz
able profit which is disguised as a deficit by us
ing red ink Dropping in on classes once in a
while is also said to be of value in certain courses
ENGLISH COMP—Most students get low marks
on themes because of punctuation Therefore, it
suggested that you use simple sentences, such
ac "Her has went Hei has gone He) has left
I all alone." If it becomes absolutely necessary
to use a mark of punctuation, you can learn with
a little practice to make a mark that looks like
either a comma, semi,-colon, or question mark
ZOOLOGY—To sit through a Zoology lecture
ou must be in the mood, and brother, there's
only one way to get in the mood (Thanks once
again for the rip, Dr Dusham 1.*"71(1).)
Women's Rushing Department:
As our' first blast of the rushing propoganda
season, we reprint a poem which appeared in She
Daily Illini last week. It's by an Illinois '39 grad
who is doing graduate work here.
So my smoochin' days are gone, I'll have to wait
There's the corny Chi Omegas, and the tilltilatin'
Thetas
And gosh there ain't a Kappa fit to date
Oh, you can't take the Gamma Phis—if you must,
And the Alpha Chis are cutups—we all trust—
There's the torrid AEPhis, and the Phi Mus who
draw flies
As a whole the girls at State ate quite a bust'
I'm a Connoissetti of talent up at Grange, _
And the freshmen at Mac Hall are quite as
strange.
And at Atherton the misses have the coldest,
queerest kisses
They all should be back in Texas on the range
PEINt\IiSAFE COLLEGIAN
CAMPUS BULLETIN
Notices of meetings to he pub
lished in this column may be
left at Student Union Office in
Old Main up to 1 p.m: on the.
day proceeding publication.
First duplicate bridge tourna
ment, Pi Kappa Alpha, 8 p in
Contact Wayne , Bot tz, Pi Kappa
Alpha, or phone 2220
THURSDAY
American Association of Um
versdy Professors, business meet
ing, Old Main Sandwich Shop,
730 p m Election of officers, re
ports of committees
MISCELLANEOUS
Men students having applica
tions on file in PSCA employment
bureau should report to the office,
304 Old Main, to fill in necessary
second semester information
Portfolio is now on asle at Stu;
dent Union
Reservations for Drydock may
be made at Student Union now
Author To Speak
To PRA '43 Group
:
Burns 'l6 Gained ,Game;'
From Chain Gang Fight
Vincent G Burns 'l6, poet and
author of "I Am ,A Fugitive From
A Georgia Chain Gang," will ad=
dress the Freshman Commission
of the PSCA at its first meeting
of the semester in Room 304 Old
Main at 7 p m Thursday
Burns, who gained national fame
by his gallant fight in behalf of his
brother, a fugitive from a Georgia
chain gang, took graduate work
at Halyard University and later
graduated from the Union Theo
logical Seminary In addition to
this he served in the World_ War
and has edited several books and
numerous poems
It also has been announced that
the Freshman Forum, PSCA wo
men's group, will cooperate with
the Commission m holding a "Leap
Year Dance" for their .members
only in Room 405 Old Main Fri
day, February 16
Dean Whitmore To Speak
Al Open Meeting 01,Phi
Lambda Upsilon Thursday
Frank C Whitmore, dean of the
School of Chemistry and Physid,
will lecture on "Some Researchd
in Organic Chemistry" at an open
meeting of Phi Lambda Upsilon,
honorary chemical fraternity, in
Room 10 Liberal Ails building at
7 30 p in Thursday,
Dean Whitmore's lecture will be
the first in a series of lectures
about research and research prob
lems, sponsored by Phi Lambda
Upsilon
Girls! 5 Days Left To Ask
Your Man To WRA Dance
Coeds , There are just five,
more days to ask your S P to,
WRA's Valentine Dance at White
Hall from 9 to 12 p m Saturday
Take advantage of the Leap
Week opportunity, since it won't ,
knock again for four years, and,
ask your man of the moment to be
you Valentine escort
Super-special swing will be pio- 1
vided by Rex Rockwell for only'
$l, so you can't afford to miss be
ing there Time is going, going—
don't forget There are just five'
more days 1,
The School of Agriculture of
the College mailed out more than
280,000 copies of bulletins, circu-,
lam and leaflets last year The ag:
ricultural extension service pub:
lished 225,000, while the remain
der of the bulletins dealt with re
search activities of the agricultural
experiment station
BooKs
NEW AND USED
IN
State College's Most Modern .
Book Store
The College Book Store
129 W. Beaver Avenue 1
I , HEADS (ONFERENCE I
Harry W Seamans. general
secretary of the, PSCA, was re
cently elected chairman of the
general committee planning a
national conference of college
Christian association secretaries,
it was announced yesterday
through the PSCA office.
The conference will be held at
Estes Park, Colorado, from July
1 to 15 and will-include both
men and women's groups.
++ + ,
22,016 Class Hours Lost
Because Of Illness Last
Year, Ritenour Declares
More class hours than a liberal
artist Would attend in 94 years of
average college activity were
missed through illness last year,
according to the College Health
Service
The hours lost from September
to June totaled 22,076
This yeas promises to bring
just as many or more class ab
sences, with total hours lost up to
December 1 set at 6,236 Figures
which include the recent flu epi
demic aer not vet in, but the total
for only one day—Monday, De
cember 11—was 808
Two of the months which us
ually provide the most sickness,
Febivary and March, are still
ahead, Di Joseph P ,Ritenour
pointed out
SPECIAL RATE VACATION
TOURS TO
MIAMI or PALM BEACH
including tail found _
trip,' meals 'in din-) 4
Ong cars, hotel with 69
bath 1 week or c
m o i e, ti angers,
sightseeing, etc up
Send for our Descriptive
Booklet CV-1
ORGANIZERS WANTED:-
Teachers and students who
are interested m organrsing
groups of 10 or more on
these fours, write for special
offer.
MARTIN TRAVEL BUREAU
377 Fifth Avenue New York
Phone LExineton 2-6200
Do You Know I ,
that Dick Harlow,
present football coach
at Harvard University,
is a Penn State gradu
ate?
FROMM'S
Attention W. S. Co A
SAKS SHOES
PUMPSOXFORDS
BLACKS $1.44 PIER FOOT BROWNS
NATIONALLY ADVERTISED AT $5 00
ALL $7,75 VITALITY SHOES
BLACKBROWNS
OXFORDS ROOMER FOOT STEP-INS
FROMM'S
EMERSON MODEL 330 • With Built-in Lo op Antenna •No Outside Aerial
or Ground Needed • AC-DC Superheterodyne with "Miracle Tone
Chamber" • Automatic Volume Control , • Large Electra-Dynamic
Speaker • "Ey r e-Base" Dial and many other advance 1940 features.
EMERSON MODEL 332 • GET
EUROPE DIRECT! London
Paris •Berlin•Ronn -
can and Foreign%
AC-DC Superhel
wch"Miracle Tong
and 8-inch' Dynami
• All new features.
LIST PRICI
$ 39. 9 j
SAVE $lO.OO
63 Hew 1940 Emerson Models from
Radio Corner
CORNER OF ALLEN AND BEAVER
EMERSON MODEL 331 (At Left)
Foreign and American
Broadcasts and All Police
Calls• AC-DC Superher.with
"Miracle Tone Chamber" and
8-inch Dynamic Speaker i All
new features.
LIST
PRICE
I N° 9 11 ;
$29 25 its/
SAVESIO.OO
Tuesday, Febraary 6,1940
60 Pd Credit
On Your _
Books Returned
Books Wanted
Butler: Improvement
Teaching Secondary,
Schools
Cole: General Psychology
Conklin: Principles Ado- •
lescent Psychology
, DelPlaine & G. College
Readings in Poetry -
Husband Applied Psy
chology
Jordan Educational Psy 7
chology
Locklin Economics Trans
portation
Lawrence Cost Accounting
Lyon & Buck Man Nature'',
and Properties Soil I
Love Differential and In' tegral Calculus
Moore Materials of Engi;
• neering
Martin History U.S.Vols.
I & ll enlarged
Maynard Weidler & Beck,-
man Principles Market'
ing
Myers & Williams Educa;
tion_in a Democracy
Nethercot Book of Long :
Stories
Nixon Principles of Aber
tising '
Ruck. Psychology and Life
hiriCk Introduction to
Philosophy
Parr Fuel Water Gas- and
Lubricants
Parker & Haswell Manual
of Zoology
Rosenholtz & 0. Elements
Ferrous Metallurgy
Rosenbach & Whitman
College Algebra ,
Russell Textbook Hydrau
lics -
Schell Technique Execu---•
five Control _
Still Electric Power Trans:
mission -
Seeley & Ensign inalyticS!
al Mechanics for - 80-,
neers
Seeley Resistance of
' terials.
Stanley & Cline foods, j ,
Their Selection & Prep.
Sherman Chemistry4oo
and Nutrition sth ed. •r
Syphert & Browningk'ik .
neer's Manual of English'
Sutherland & Woodwait
Introductory Sociology)'
Tanner Principles Busi-'
ness Law 2nd dd.
Woodruff Animal Biology
Watkins & Dodd Manageiil
merit Labor Relaticinsty,c ;
Zimmerman World
sources and Industries „
Refer to Other,List
The
Athletic afore=