while taking his evening walk. He asked a stranger if he knew
where his hotel was—the name of it was something like “whiskey
straight." The stranger replied that it must be either too straight
or mixed.
As to the State College Battalion there are two ways in which
we can look at it—the battalion as it really is, or as
Prexy’s model battalion, the one that teaches you to “keep
your shoes blacked” and gives you a “manly bearing about the
college grounds.” The one which “preserves the brawn and brain
of the State from becoming humped and degenrated into a set
of monkeys.” In fact, the only opportunity that Prex ever had to
speak to this battalion and didn’t was the time that Hep Clark
lined it up at his door in despair. He simply looked sad,
as he always did after a creamery raid; as if he had suddenly
found out that there were more bad than good men, and more bad
men among good men than he had ever dreamed of before.
And this brings us to the battalion as it really exists. No one
has ever been able to tell us whether this article was of any use or
not until this year. The reason is that for several years past Prexy
hasn’t been teaching Political Economy. If his definitions are cor
rect, then no one will doubt as to whether or not the State College
battalion has “utility;” for there never was anything about the
college that satisfied the desire of more in less time. When
“Horatio” entered college he was trying for military honors, but
had his desires completely satisfied in his prep. year. “Harry”
had his satisfied after he had gained the distinction of
carrying the famous “pumpkin-chopper,” and standing <■ in the
footprints of the sergeant-major, a position which “Ed” had just
resigned. The financial outlook wasn’t bright enough for “Harry,”
and there wasn’t enough time for “Ed” to dissipate.
“Ginger” and “Kid” also had their desires satisfied. They can’t
giye you the exact date, but say it was sometime' during 1 their
junior year. We don’t know how they felt, but judging from their
looks they must have felt like the old Southerner who had lost
four wives. When consulted as to his feelings he replied he felt as
if he were in the hands of an all-wise, unscrupulous Providence.