custody you will find a square hole in Ben's left ear, which
was made by a conductor's punch."
Armed with this description the Sheriff returned to the jail,
found the hole in my ear and immediately set me at liberty.
WIFE" UNDER FEMININE GLASSES.
"THE
DIX BITTERLY SARCASTIC UNDER THE GUISE OF A
`STUDY IN NATURAL HISTORY."
DOROTHY
The Wife—This docile domestic animal is to be found in all
parts of the globe, where she is most useful in assisting man
to till the soil, carry on the arts and commerce, and raise Cain
generally. Indeed, so widely is she distributed throughout the
civilized world that almost every man possesses one, and while
he is frequently miserable with her, he is wretched without
her.
Although, however, the Wife is found among the fauna of
every country, it is interesting to note that she is still held in
varying degrees of esteem in different lands. In Africa she is
a slave, 'in Asia a plaything, in Europe man's companion,
while in America she is his boss. In Africa and Asia she is
also driven four-in-hand abreast, while in Europe and America
she is driven tandem.
The Wife belongs to the Cat family (genus caterwaulis),
and betrays her hereditary traits in many ways. When she is
young she is kittenish, a trick that she sometimes forgets to
abandon after she gets old enough to know better. She is
amiable as long as the fur is rubbed the right way.
She purrs with contentment when she is Well fed, She gets
her back up at anything that displeases her, and frequently
administers a sly scratch when you are least expecting it.
In appearance the Wife differs greatly, not only in different
latitudes, but in the same environment. She is found both tall
and short, dark and fair, and fat and thin—in short, with such
varying characteristics that in selecting one a man has only to